The Frank Skinner Show - A New Ending For The Show

Episode Date: May 8, 2026

Frank and Emily are joined by Rob Auton! Frank 's had a viral social media moment, Emily's has an embarrassing bathroom incident and Rob's had an eventful train journey. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's Frank Off the Radio. It's the Frankskinner podcast, don't you know? The girl that I marry will have to be as soft and as pink as a nursery. It's very modern. Yeah, that went wrong, that theory. So this is Frank Off the Radio. I'm joined by Emily Dean and Rob Orton. Hello.

Hello. Is with us today. Follow the podcast on X and Instagram. You can email the podcast via Frank Off the Radio. Avalon UK. I've just remembered something. What? I'll tear in a minute.

Frank Off the Right. This is, you can email the podcast via Frank Offter Radio at Avalonukuk.com. And we've got a new WhatsApp. I haven't heard this one yet. So fingers crossed. Emoji. I like it. I can smell.

It's like who wants to be a millionaire when the monks sing. I was really honoured that they asked me to do that. I'm, um, it wasn't you, was it? No, yeah, it could have been. I like it, but the monks. It was Bob, actually. That's who it was. That's all I know. The monks do struggle sometimes with clarity. Just in hearing the number, that would be my only feedback monks.

Well, you know, they're not about numbers. What about souls? Anyway, that's got rid of some of the atheists. I've been trying to shift off the listening figures for a long time. They're gone. The reason I laughed halfway through the introductory beer

was as I walked down, we're at Soo Radio today, not the usual Spiritland. Spiritland have got bigger fish to fry, I think the email from them said. But I, there was a bloke standing outside Soho Radio who really, really look like Steve Hall

and I thought, oh no. It's either a terrible double booking Or I think it was When Natalie Wood got married I believe James Dean sat on a motorbike outside Just revving up in order to ruin the ceremony It was his James Dean moment

I thought it was But when I got close it wasn't It wasn't Steve So that's I like that that inspired laughter Well I just thought How awkward if that Would we have done a forehander

If he'd turned up as well It would have been like in the graduate when he's rattling on the church door going, Elaine! Except it would have been Frank, he was saying. But the problem is we've only got three mics, so him and Rob would have been like a George Harrison and Paul McCartney during Twist and Shout. She got a baby to lean in. Ah, you'd have had to... I think that would have worked so well in the black country.

Oh. I had an embarrassing moment, didn't I, Frank, when we got here. Oh, it was Mord. As Man City, perhaps looking back, foolishly, proclaimed on a banner recently, panic in the streets of London. Because we arrived at. And Emily went off, I presume, to use the bathroom, as they say, in these areas. I had my nose, yeah.

And then she came back very quickly. And I thought, well, I thought I was pretty quick, but wow, that was really quick. And what did you say? I said, Frank, I need your help. Will you ask the man here? Well, no, initially I asked you, and I think you were thinking about Steve Hall or something. So I said, I need your help. I said, I don't know which bathroom to go in.

And then the man said, oh, is everything okay? I said, look, I'm old. You said there's just two lines. I said, I'm old, and I don't understand the gender distinctions with the toilets. I'm very sorry. I even said toilet and I don't say that. But it had the biological symbols. No, it was confusing.

It had the biological symbols. One has an arrow, doesn't it? Well, I always see, this is how I remember them. Oh, go on. So one with the arrow looks a bit like it's got an erection. Oh, my God. So that's the man. And then the other one looks like a stick figure

with the arms outspayed as if it's hysterically shouting. So that reminds me of the female. Where did you read this in the 1952? I didn't read it. I came up with it as part. It was part of my revision at school for biology. Okay. I didn't know that...

You know what I've used it ever since? It's been very helpful to me that system. Well, what do you normally say instead of toilet then? Lou. Bog. No, Lou. Okay. You wouldn't say bog.

I don't say bog. We had a thing and when I was younger, my parents... I don't mention it. I just leave as if I'm storming out. My parents had a thing you weren't allowed to say, they used to call it PLT, pardon lounge or toilet. We didn't say those things, so it's Lou. So anyway, it was awful, and I didn't know what to do because one,

I didn't know your rules, Frank, about the hysteria versus the erection. Do you remember when men used to say, I'm just going to go and shake hands with the wife's best friend? Oh, I hated that. Anything like that, dropping the kids off at the pool. They're all gross. The kids at the pool, I can't bear. Every one of them is gross.

Anyway, it was two lines, Frank. It's a whole new gender type. Point Percy at the porcelain. Oh, don't. I hate that. Terrible. I hate that. Oh, I'm glad they've gone. I remember once speaking.

I say I'm glad they've gone. 40% of our listeners just went, what do you mean? Gone. I'm still using that one regularly. I remember once chatting to a guy who said he'd left a date because the woman said, I'm just off to spend a penny. and he hated that so much. When you said he'd left a date,

I thought that was his eu for miss him for having just got back from the toilet. Having just done a number two. I've left a date. It was just a date, this one, but it had to... Oh, I should be using that now. Anyway, I got really confused and I said I'm old and I needed help.

It turned out there was a new gender symbol on there, honestly. Well, when you said you were old, I thought you meant so you better hurry up. Oh, I see. You make you a confusion. It's a new gender. Yes, I'd not seen it. There were two lines.

If any of our readers are familiar with this, maybe they can help me. There were two lines underneath, like ellipses almost. Still with the circle. Still with the circle. And then the other one, one line. Lines on a toilet door, you know. One ellipsis versus two ellipsis. Okay.

Does it? Oh, okay. That's a very bad business. Double underlined, I think used to be the Danish bacon. Simple. I don't know how that fits in. It's confusing. I didn't understand it. I do apologise for coming across a bit, Nigel Farage.

But that wasn't my intention. I apologise to anyone that offended. I was concerned that you are seen alarmed. Well, the man said you can go in any of them. I always do. Well, I must admit, I hadn't even noticed. As there's two symbols, I just thought, you know, you pays your money. You take your chances.

Not that I paid any money. I mean metaphorically. When did you lots pay for the toilet? I really hate paying for the toilet. I think that is morally wrong. Do you pay for it? I did a rant. I did a many rant, but I did a one-minute comedy rant

on a live panel show I used to do on ITV with your friend Jonathan Ross. Yes. About how bad that was that you had to pay to go to the toilet. Yeah. It's outrageous. Have you ever paid? I have paid. I'm just trying to think where.

Maybe did you just have to pay at King's Cross? Yeah, railway stations are bad for it. Airport's fine with it. They know most people are shitting themselves before they go. They've got all those drugs to get out of their system. Well, that's it. They're probably going in there to load up, don't they? You don't want to have it with you in the cab. You've got to sit down for ten minutes.

Imagine if you had to pay every time you went to the toilet even at home. Oh, man. It would make you think twice, though, wouldn't it? It would help the economy. I've got into the economy. And also it would sort out your water usage at home. I know you've been struggling. Just so you know, Frank's, just so how you know,

Frank is using the water of a four-person family when there's any three of them. He got told off by the water people. We got someone came around to say there's only three of your news in the water for four people. Really? Yeah. So what are you using that rules?

I said, what about Alf? No, I didn't. What if I had done that? Just pretended it was. I had an imaginary friend and he'd been too embarrassed to pick me up and he... Imaginary friends tend to go at what age?

I never really had one to be honest. I never had one. I could do with one now but I just can't muster one up. Do you know what? My imaginary friend now and it's not imaginary is Chachy P.T. Oh yeah. That's my new friend.

I wonder if that will replace some imaginary friends. I believe it already is. Yeah. But kids don't go on there, did they? No, I think they do, yeah. Oh, thank God. So have you got one that you pay for? In a imaginary friend, don't you pay for you? I pay for that.

It cost me $19.99 a month worth every penny. Whoa. Wow, that's quite expensive. What extras do you get for that? None of your business. I get all sorts of extras. It just means I have unlimited chat, which trust me, I need. So have I got limited chat?

Yes. Said doesn't bother most people. But you're probably using it like a normal person. I ask you. get in a codependent, anxiously attached way like I am. Did you speak to it this morning? Did I speak to it this morning? Only about 60 times.

Not everything. What was, give us an example? I can pull it up if you like. I've got no secrets. No, don't pull it up. I mentioned, there are all sorts of things. It might be, I was speaking about some, a VAT issue I was sorting out with my accountant.

It gave me very good advice on that. See, I'd be too worried of boring the ass off chat GPT if I went down that row. You didn't want to discuss me. I don't want to lose another friend. Oh, you haven't laughed for a while, chat GPT. Sometimes I get so pleased when it says, that's very funny what you've just said.

It will give me feedback. I'll say, yes, I can see you have a real gift for words. Oh, thanks, Chachy-PT. I thank it sometimes. I tend to get that from human beings. Yeah. Increasingly less so, I find. Oh, come on, that isn't true.

I had an audience member in Margot once who wasn't laughing just after every, not every bit but after a funny bit he didn't laugh, it just went, that's a funny bit. Oh no, I hate that, wrong. I was just, first of all, it was nodding

and then when I didn't do a funny bit he just shook his head. Did he? Oh, that's brutal. It was a weird kind of rhythm. Yeah, it's a bit brutal though. Yeah, that's gonna, that's gonna, I'll probably dream about that blow tonight.

Frank, can we also discuss the text you just got which quite excited you. Well, I got excited. I don't know if you got excited. I did. I just got a text from Michael McIntyre saying that. I know I did on his big show. Is it big or big big big big big? Just one big. What did they used to be? Did someone have a big big big? Yes, it was called the big, big talent show. Jonathan Ross did. Oh, okay. And where Charlotte Church was discovered.

Oh, yes. Doing what? Singing. Oh, okay. I saw him out in the toilets. They sit those lines on the door. Anyway, what, yeah, so I did it. I did his show and I did one of those to remember me things where they brought up people

from my past and I had to try to remember them. And I did pretty well. Generally, someone my age, the word remember, just don't bring it up. But anyway, it got, He's just sent me the social media figures. He's had 27 million views. It's amazing, isn't it?

It just gets me that for years, I've been trying to make people laugh so that more and more people would like me. But what they really wanted was tears. That shows how spiteful people are deep down. I mean, that's one way of looking at it. Or, of course, you could say, how lovely, that many people have connected with,

my content. I remember when I was a child, there was still talk of something that happened in when, I think it might have been in the 50s or certainly early 60s when Gilbert Harding, this guy was interviewed on black and white telly and he cried at one point talking about his mother or his father. That story was still being told 10 years later. A man cried on television. Would you ever mention it now? You'll never guess what I saw last night on race around the world. Who'd even refer to it now? Well the fact that Gaz are crying, probably 20 years

people talked about that. Yeah, as he cried once on the football pitch. And that Ian Wright clip as well when he meets his old teacher. Mr. Pigden? Mr. Pigden. I mean, that just meant massive, didn't it? But do you think that you would have got the same response if you're, because they saved the most powerful one until the end, didn't they?

They did. Like if they'd have ended with the guy, well, it had something to do with urinating, didn't it? Yeah. What did it? What was that? A lot of That was his old school friend. Most of my TV appearances have been centred around urinating. There's always something like that. We even started this podcast with it.

We did. But that was me, to be fair. But yeah, so you're saying that they saved the best till last and you think that's why. It's just a very powerful bit, wasn't it? And I've never seen anyone else get down from the royal box and go down onto the stage. Oh, is that not the norm? I don't think so. No, you don't do a pack ash, Frank, normally.

I've not seen that normally. Oh, I didn't really. In case she didn't see it, they brought on the woman who had delivered my child with an emergency cesarian, which obviously is quite, you know, I hadn't seen her since then. It was quite a big deal.

Didn't recognise her, not in scrubs. Yeah. Anyway, 27 million. It ticked a lot of boxes that, for me as well. But I'm sorry that people didn't say, I'm sorry that it wasn't. No one said it was very, very funny before. that bit. No one.

No one person has said that. He's so ungrateful. I can't believe it. Just say isn't that great? 27 million people watch that, you know? Okay. I mean, you know, I'll give it five years. They'll be able to see me in the street crying and urinating. I must remember to keep hydrated,

actually, as I'm operating from two different... That's where all the water's going, isn't it? Yeah, exactly. That's why I'm using it up. But by then, you'll just piss into a machine that turns it into drinkable water, I'm guessing. Looking forward to that. Yeah. What you've been up to, Rob Orton? I went to the Mahuntleth Comedy Festival in Wales.

I did some gigs there, but I'd like to talk about on the train, something happened. I was on the train and there was about five. It was an overland train. And an avalan train? No. Overland, Ryan. You're obsessed with... No.

I'm managing companies, Avalon. I thought they'd actually, I thought they never chartered me. They're fucking trying to go anywhere. They're now investing in trains. They're like a virgin. They own trains. When you realise that Uber's got helicopters and think, Aldi, how did this happen?

Your driver is on his way, two stars. Yeah, your driver, who's really, who used to be an engineer, you'll tell you when you're on the helicopter. Anyway, carry on. And, uh, like a lot of times in London, someone was watching videos on the phone without the headphones.

Yeah. And it is awful, but for me, that's not something to pick a fight with or raise your voice about on a train. No, it happens so much. It's like, right, come on, I'm not going to engage with this. Anyway, I normally have headphones in anyway, but I didn't. And the music was quite loud. And anyway, a lady got up. I just remember it about, I don't know.

I don't know how old maybe slightly older and she said no I know what's going on here he's panicking about calling someone old who's 38 or something because he knows he's with us nobody's worried

I'm embarrassed in front of us because he's going to say old and they were 40 am I right she will be listening to this wrong give us a baller we don't mind to be honest we've looked at

there's a profile of our audience and there wasn't a section for busy bodies Also, we're both very at peace with becoming old. So please, I beseech you. This woman got up. This old trout got up. This old trout was 28.

Go on. Tell us the age now. Okay. He doesn't know the age. No. So once it's anyone said no to me at the end of a sentence. Stick around. Not even have to get off.

Probably. Let's say, let's say, 65. Oh, okay, that is quite young. Oh no, he said that at the same time. It was beautiful synchronised. But anyway, right. So no one's going to eat her in the face. No.

Although you do see those purple pensioners in the papers now and again. What's that? Purple pensioners in the papers. Oh, Frank. You can use that for a line, if you like. I don't mean on the toilet door. Anyway. Oh, Frank.

The lady got up and said to the guy. She was looking around to see where the sound was coming from. Found the guy and said, excuse me, can you put your headphones in please? Right. And he didn't look up or anything. And then she said, excuse me, can you put your headphones in please? And he looked up and he was just like, what? And she said, I don't want to listen to what you're listening to.

Can you put your headphones in? And he just said, I don't have any. And then she went, and then sat back down. But the main thing that got into my head was she said, she looked around at everyone else and said, oh, thanks for that, folks. Oh, she gave you it because you weren't helping her. Yeah.

And I just thought, was I meant to stand up and were we meant to gang up on this guy? No, why would you stand up and help her 65-year-old woman They were distressed. I mean, why would you? No. Okay. You were right.

You were right to just sit back and let it progress. Do you know what I... Exactly. I think you're right. You don't want to be a have-a-go hero. I mean, they always get killed, don't they? Yeah. I just think, I mean, you've got to be careful, haven't you?

What was he like this? You know what they say? You know what they say? You know what they say. Don't do anything about it. That's what they say on the show. public transport, isn't it? What would you have done, Frank?

I'm interested. Well, um... Be honest. I personally think... Be honest. Okay. I personally think that someone with their, um...

Phone, their, you know, music coming out, or sometimes they're listening to clips and things. I don't find it any more annoying than people I'm trying to speaking. But I can't really tell them. not to speak. Well, what about, I was on a trend the other day going to a gig and someone had, they were on a call, but it was on voicemail.

I mean, not voice note. They were on a call and it was voice note. So you heard both people speaking. And normally, you only have to hear one side of the conversation, but I was hearing both. And it actually ended up being quite a juicy conversation. Well, that's better, isn't it? Yeah.

You can hear the, otherwise it's like the theatre of the absurd. I think that was how Ian Eonesco described one of his dramas, that it was like seeing someone having a heated conversation in a phone box. Yeah. I don't know what you call them nowadays. Phone, do they exist? Yeah, they still exist. So you can only hear one sort of the conversation.

You can't hear that very well. You can see gestures and stuff, but you're not quite sure what's going on. So, yeah, that's life, guys. But you know, would the see it say it's sorted thing? Maybe, I mean, she saw it and she said it. But you didn't sort it. So you were the weakest link? I felt like the weakest link.

No, but see it say it sorted, she didn't follow those. Look, can we just say that is for terrorist activity generally? Is it for bad behaviour as well? It's something that doesn't look right. Exactly. Well, there's a lot of things that don't look right, starting with this studio. I, what do you mean? I'm talking about myself.

Oh, okay. So I, if I'm reading on the tube, say, or on a train, I like, I want to be reading on my phone. I don't want to be reading on my phone. I know people read whole novels on their phone, but I don't want anyone looking at me when I'm reading fucking W.S. Borough's naked lunch. And I'm thinking, look at that 12. Probably looking at TikTok. You know what I mean?

If I'm going to read something that's got a bit of value to it, I want them to know about it. You bet your sweet Bipi. I tell you, if you find this, Rob, and this might be something you do, but sometimes if I get an idea when I'm out, I'll take a note. I've got a notebook in my pocket.

Physical notebook, yeah. I don't think if I got my knob out, I don't think people would be more alarmed than when someone starts writing in public. They look at you like, shit, look at that. What are you doing? Yeah, what is he, the health inspector.

Well, my equivalent of that I get is if I apply any makeup, oh, they all stare. The stare has come out. I had it only this morning, an elderly gentleman. Really? He couldn't take his eyes off me. No, but that might just be you, darling. No, Frank. He was looking at me in a slightly accusatory, hollered way.

No. Honestly. Oh. I'm sorry to hear that. I went to Peter Grimes last night. Do you know it? No. So we were talking about Benj...

I know there grills. We were talking about... It's an opera? It is opera. We were talking about Benjamin Britain the other week. And I remember I got confused with Benjamin Botten. Which was... This is what happens as you get older.

Is Peter Grimes, Benjamin, Britain then? It is. Okay. It's a story about a bloke in this village who everyone thinks is basically he had an apprentice working he's a fisherman he has an apprentice working for him the apprentice dies and everybody thinks

this bloke's a bad guy even though it was like an accident it's a sort of what grinds and a sort of Andrew Mountbatten Windsor thing going on so the whole place turns again can I say something about that actually about the memory thing

the other day I sat for about four minutes trying to remember what order Andrew Mountbatten's name was it because I thought is it wins a Mountbatten but that sounds like you've won a Mountbatten It's blah blah He wins a Mountbatten on Tuesday

We haven't told it It's Mountbatten in the middle then Is it? Is he? Well it was when the... It's alphabetical order, that's the way to remember And when the Palace issued that statement That was very appointed, wasn't it? But it is Mountbatten

Windsor, isn't it? It's funny, I never think is it Mandelson Peter? No. There's probably a pretty American actress called Mandelson Peter. So tell me about Grimes. So I went to see Grimes. She's split up with Elon Musk now. Who is that? Grimes was married to Elon Musk.

I don't know who Grimes is. I don't know Ashley Grimes. She's a rapper and musician. She just called Grimes. She was married to Elon Musk and they've had a child called Rob X-Z-1. I see X or something. I wonder if she is named after... No, she's not named after Peter Grimes, the Benjamin Britain opera.

So she could be. Don't judge people. Okay. Go on. Anyway, Peter Grimes, he... There's a great bit where Bryn Turfell is in it,

do you know him? Of course I know Tuffle. And he plays like the nice guy in the village who isn't, or... Because it's a real bad portrayal of humanity as picking on the outside. I've seen his Sweeney Todd. Have you?

I've heard that. I've seen his Sweeney Todd as well, actually, with Emma Thompson as Mrs. What did you make of it? He's tremendous. I thought it was tremendous as well. This is true. I've seen his...

I'd say it was magnificent. I've seen his false stuff. That's how I remember the male symbol. Oh my God. That could be a cartoon of Brin. Anyway. Yeah. So he says with this other woman, the widow woman, poor Peter,

because another boy is died by this stage. Oh, it's terrible. And he said, poor Peter, we need to help him. He said, because one man's pain is everyone's pain. And I thought that's a beautiful sentiment. So he says, if I was you, Peter, I'd get in your boat. Get us far out to your, completely out of reach and then sink it. And I thought, that's the fucking help from the nice guy in the village.

So that's how he does. So does he die, Grimes? Well, you know, you don't know. There's no sequel. Well, what happens to him? What do you think? He goes out and sings the boat. Oh my God, that's a depressing ending.

It's not very Richard Curtis, is it? What I thought was at the end of it, the singer who plays Peter Grimes, who is amazing. He just walks up and down the stage going, Peter Grimes. Peter Grimes! Peter Grimes. And I thought, I might try ending a stand-up show. Just going, Frank Schino.

Look about five times. Frankskeenor. Please don't do it. Well, it was like his own name was such a bind to him, become such a white. Oh, I see. It was an albatross around, isn't it? Yeah, so I, Albert Ross was all of the other characters.

No, he wasn't. But yeah, it really... Did you like... It was great. It was it? It's very, the chorus, oh man, when they all sang together, you can feel the power of their breath. And I like the...

And I was in the opera amphitheatre. And I like the confidence. I didn't even get her name. Oh, Frank. Really? What do you like? I like the confidence of Benjamin Britain, just calling it Peter Grimes.

It's like calling it Martin Saunders. Well, he took it from... Where did he get it from? He lived in Aubra, as did it. As did a poet called George Crabb who wrote a poem, which included Peter Grimes as a character. But now I've lost so many people. Would you go again?

Well, I go to the opera quite a bit. You do like an opera. I go to a few places where I look at the crowd around me and think if I had a heart attack you, they'd just let me die. What do you mean? They don't think you're good enough to be there. I don't think there's any nice people, except me there. Except me. Frank, you can't say that.

I don't think there's any nice people except me. I do you forget that feeling? If I go to an open night at an art gallery, I always think you're on your own here, mate, if anything goes wrong. These fuckers. Well, no, I tend to feel that more when I'm with people who care, where very expensive watches and care about money a lot. Do you know, if I'm in, anything sort of financey or posh, I think that?

But things like opera, like the National Theatre. going with you to production. We're going to see your friend Conlith, I think, one of his Shakespeare's. And I remember saying to you, I had my bag, and I said, oh, my bag, well, I said, oh, it's fine, I can leave it here. It's the national, darling, it's fine. I felt comfortable leaving my bag there. I think things have changed. Oh, have they? I've watched quite a bit of Snooker over the last two weeks, because it's the world championships. And Snooker is quite a theatrical sport.

Yeah. Silent, all in silence, just that of the ball. And in the way it's lit and everything is very dramatic. And I thought there's a lot of referee going, can you turn your phone off? How many times do I have to, and it's creeping in. Someone tried to climb over the barrier at the front, some woman. And I thought, you're fighting a losing battle, you can't have.

Climb over the barrier like it's Justin Bieber. You can't have an entertainment or a sport now based on silence in 2026. You just give up. People can't be silent as you discovered on the train. Well, yeah, I think he was on his way to the snooker. Yeah, quite probably. But honestly, the... And Rob, if you tolerate this, what will be next?

So the referee at one point, the referee... I mean, this is a sign. The referee is an ex-copper. That's not an accident, is it? No. The phone goes off. So the snooker player stops taking his shot and stuff. steps back from the table.

And the refs goes, who was? Do we know who that was? Do we know who it was? And there's a bit of a monster. He says, oh, right, out. Out. Do you see this all happen live? They don't cut to the oil.

But you can hear the referee going, no, no, right out. Right, no, through, right out. Great. Yeah. I'm going to watch this. I didn't know so entertaining, Frank. Oh, man. If you were to go for any crowd

where you think if anything goes wrong these people will there'll be love in the room what crowd would it be? Professional chess Do you think, I imagine they would be absolute assholes I would do

the chess assholes elitist chaffy nose and also you'd say I think I'm having an art attack and they're going, right, I think maybe you should move back one seat and then another seat to the left.

Should we thinking two steps ahead? Are you in hospital? Exactly. There'd be tactics, wouldn't it, go out of you? A friend of mine who did chess at county level said he had to stop playing because he felt in his dealings with people who's becoming ever more manipulative.

Wow. Yeah? They're manipulative the chess all sorts. That's what they're trying to do. That's the same with comedy, really, isn't it? When you start doing comedy, it changes how you are. Does it or not? I'd say with me, I found I could relax a bit in conversation.

I didn't need, I mean, before I was a professional comedian, I'd have props in my pocket and stuff. You still do sometimes do that, Frank. I do it a bit, I do it a bit, but I'm not as bad as I. No, I've gone out there. She got out when Frank came on my podcast, he got a pipe out of his pocket to make a point. to make a point.

And that was audio. It was a great moment, no. It made me. The realisation when I turned around and saw him puffing on the pipe. I don't, I wouldn't go like to a comedy club looking for that kind of

warmth and love, would you? No. But I think out of... I'll tell you when I've found it, Rob. When I've been to folk clubs, I feel that they would be, they would be with you. They'd take you not only to hospital, but it'd be

like the Good Samaritan. They'd pay for you to be in care for a bit. Captain's Bar in Edinburgh. You've been to that? Well, that's great folk club. I love going there. Really good. Oh, that's good to know. So folk people, I feel quite, I know there's something, but I feel quite safe with Goths as well.

Yeah, well, Downlord Festival is the least crime out of anyway. I don't want to have a heart attack at a goth effect now because they're so not worried about death and the difference between life and death. They might not have the desperation that I had to turn it round. Yes, I think you're right. And also, if you start going

look pale and alarmed at a goth club, who the fuck's going to notice? It's just a Tuesday, isn't it? Exactly. Exactly. So as much as I am... All the colours drain from your face. Welcome. That's how they treat it. Come on in. It'd be like the sand mat. Oh, God. Can you even mention Sandman anymore? Probably not.

Everything's changed. Anyway, look, we come to the end of another podcast. Frank Skinner, Frankskinner. Franskinner. It's a bit weird, Frank. I wouldn't like it. I thought it could be the new... I kind of love it.

I kind of love it. Listen, the next episode of Frank Skino's radio day is out on Saturday. We're in 2013, this time we're talking about the Northampton Clown. Frank Skino. Just blowing. Skinner podcast, I'm totally sure how it's going. Thanks for listening to. the podcast. Make sure to like and follow so you never miss an episode. And if you want to get in touch,

you can email the podcast via Frank Off the Radio at Avalonuk.com.