The Frank Skinner Show - Burlesque or Burly Q?

Episode Date: May 4, 2026

In today’s episode, we're joined again by Steve Hall. We uncover a film Steve feels very strongly about and Frank receives some interesting audience feedback about his shoes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's Frank off the radio, Frank Off the Road, it's the Frankskinner podcast, don't you know. Kiss me, honey, honey, kiss me. Hold me, honey, honey, hold me. No, thanks. Okay. This is Frank off the radio. I'm joined by Emily Dean and Steve Hall is with us. Yeah.

What you got for Steve? What's that going to be this time? No, it's going to be. I'm trying to find a nice one. Thoughts and breath. Not quite right, is it? Not quite right. It's depressing as well. We were sacked from the radio. Why would you play there?

It's Steve wasn't. Oh yeah, that's true. It'd still be there. It wasn't for us. Follow the podcast on X and Instagram. You can email the podcast via Frank off the radio at Avalon UK.com. On the WhatsApp front. So I was watching an old black and white American TV show, which I'm very partial to.

We don't know what it is, but we'll find out. But it's not. It doesn't really matter what it is. Just in Italy, it was hoodlums in discussion. Okay. And the boss of the hoodlums is trying to set this guy to get some. some dirt on one of these characters, you know, find out some negative about it. And he says, it's no good, boss.

You don't smoke. He don't drink. He don't go to burlekew shows. And I thought, is that how it used to be pronounced? I presume it's burleigh. Also, as he just misread the script. Burley Q shows. As he sells as a picture skew.

Also, I mean, I don't want to, I mean, this is, you know, I don't want to take away from the main thread of this. But is man but this smoking, drinking and going to Burlacue shows? It's trying to find. I know, but even hoodlums must have something else in their life. And I had an ant song as well. Don't drink, don't smoke. What do you do?

Goody Tooshoes. As we call it now, modern young people. What I do is go to burdicute. It rhymes. It rhymes. It's a better ride. Barlicue. Hang on, can we just establish?

Was the writer of this show, which for some reason is remaining a mystery? No, what I'm happy to do it is. I'd like to know. It's the green lantern. I'm sorry. I know it's not. It's a light. Can I got that wrong?

It's the green horny. Oh, the green hornet. I got me green, well, he's not a superhero. Hornet. He's an action. Yeah, Green Hornet. It's an old sort of 50s green hornet. Not the one with Bruce Lee.

So does he... Is he unripe? Is that why he's a green hornet? Is he a rookie? Will he rip it into a yellow and black hornet? I'm thinking about it in too much detail. Are they green in their youth? Well, no, I'm thinking...

I'm comparing it to a banana. Oh, okay. What the earth is going on, dear. I'm puzzled... I'm puzzled as to why someone is... Don't expect me to pick my way through this quagmire. Come on, we've got ourselves into some fine messes over the years. I know, but this one.

The green hornet, yellow hornet. I'm trying to be charitable as to why someone has paired green and hornet. I'm trying to unpick the thinking. It's in black and white, so it doesn't matter. Anyway, was Berlicue had accepted pronunciation for burles? No. I'm assuming that the writer, the posh Hollywood writer, thought, oh, this will be funny,

because this is how Houdlums would speak, because they're so inarticulate, they wouldn't even be able to pronounce a word like burlesque. Do you not think? You'd have thought these men, the one long syllable, or a long word they would know would be burlesque, because they would be dating a dancer.

I think it's a typo on the scripts. That's, that's, they've just, they're very, darling, no one, you sure it says burlicule? No one's correct in it's a bit like, you know, there's that bit in Zina Warrior Princess where, I never know if it's true or not. What's this? It's a like 90s sort of action TV show.

I know what Zina is. I'm saying, what's the bit in the show? The actor, he, he, I've got me impatient with Steve. The actor goes, Disappointed! Oh, what does that mean? And supposedly, it was just a stage direction

that he was meant to look, disappointed. And he misunderstood it and shouts, disappointed. And I've said footage of this? Yeah, yeah. So it made the TV. It's in it. It made the final edit. Oh, this is excellent news. Oh, well, I might start watching the Green Hornet. I don't think I like it. You know, I've known Emily a long time and she could be spiky. I'll be honest with you. I got it in me. I've never seen a more affronted when you suggested he didn't know Zina, the warrior princess. I did. I said, I know who that is. I mean, wow.

I know, but come on, Frank. No, I will not have... Don't get me wrong, it was very, very condescending. It was. Standards have got to be upheld. They must be maintained. Yeah, no, that's not good enough. The fact I'm going to say,

Disappointing! You've got to point these things out when they're wrong. I had a cab driver this morning, charming man to Meritrea, and he was telling me, I said, would I like it over there? He said, not really. And I loved that.

And I said, why, Million? He was called Million. Okay. I said, why, million? He said, very rude government. Oh. Very rude. And I thought, what a great way to refer to the government.

Yeah. They're just rude. I see, I don't think our government's rude. Do you know what? No, it's not rude. Yeah, but the Aerotrain government is very rude. Well, could argue it's too polite. Yeah, well, he said very rude.

I think he means. because it's a military government, which sounds a bit more sinister. I said, is it they're a bit stricter because they're military? You get deep with your cab drivers. I don't even know their names. You know what? Name.

You know where his car. It's because he was, because of the word million within his name, you're more intrigued. There are questions. I have questions. If I get in the cab and his name is million, this is what happens with Uber's, Frank.

You get sent the name of your driver. No, I'm aware of that. So it said, I know, just, I'm sorry. Is that a bit. Is he a warring princess? Oh, Frank. No, I'm ashamed that I use Uber. And it says,

Million will be picking you up. And he'd obviously heard it before. So I had to sort of, I said, oh, it's a great name. He said, yeah, but it doesn't actually mean Million in Eritrea. Yeah. He said, and I said, oh, what does it mean? He said, it just means good things.

Riches, good things. And it's sort of like, Million. Yeah, it's a bit, like, a bit, yeah. Anyway, that is an exclusive. The Eritrean government. are very rude. Well, there's still time to change. That's the way I don't have to write anyone off forever.

You know what I mean? You know, the way like a lot of, like, TMZ or The Daily Mail will mine podcasts for their bits of gossip. I'd like to see that, make the sidebar a shame. Do they do that? Oh, yeah, that's how they do it to my podcast. If I have so, I'm going to go be so bold, I think they might have done it with my interview with you.

If they have a name they recognize. You know, if it's sort of an online creator or someone they do, but they will go through, also transcripts are their best friend. They'll just go through, probably search for things like death, depression, drugs, anything that they can pull out. I must be busy. I had a call from a podcast they weren't named saying, would you come on?

And I said, what is it? And they said it's, well, it's talking about, you know, the tragedies you've had in your life and all that. I said, well, I'm pretty buoyant, to be honest. Yeah. And so they talked about, well, you know, like, you know, your parents. I said, yeah, but, you know, that happens. Yeah.

And all this. And I said, I don't have anything I need to unload. And they said, well, if anything changes. Oh, yeah, you'll be in my first call. Wow. When I'm crawling from the debris of my, my, I was smouldering Lexus. And they're waiting for updates.

They're sitting there googling. Frank Skinner, bad news. Hello, is that deathcast? Guess what? It's always those types of podcasts where it's bleak, bleak, bleak, and then it's please like and subscribe. Yeah. I never got that.

I never listened to one of them. I don't want to listen to anything that's sad. No, I know exactly what you mean, Frank. Oh, honestly. But, you know. So I went to a gig. I saw a comedian. Lovely.

Impressionist. Oh, how are the 70? It's a bit more, you know, I don't know how many impressionists you've known. Steve, you must have known. Yeah, yeah. And they're quite funny characters. I'd say they tend to smell of aftershave.

I know what you mean. They're sort of, you think, shouldn't you be on, Like they aren't doing cruises. Yes. And stuff like that. And when they're on a, I mean off, they go well. People love any question. Yeah.

Yeah. But I always think, no, you should be your mainstream, really. But this guy is not. Is he well known this guy? Yeah, I thought you'd have guessed it. Oh, shall I guess it? Is it Alaston McGowan? No, he's really mainstream.

Oh, no, okay. Matt Ford is my first. Matt Ford. It was pretty monstery. I don't think of him as an impressionist. Think of him as a political comedian. But he's also a very good impression. Can I say one?

Like, I remember him telling me about like... Oh, it's my turn. He only does, Trump. Does he do someone else? No, he does the others. He does Keistalmer. He does a lot of politics. Boris.

I remember him telling me he was thrilled the first time Rory Bremner went to see him do a show. And Rory Bremner? No. Luke Kempner? No. Oh, I know him. Is it John Coulshaw?

He's super mainstream. I went to his flat and there was a frightened picture of the Red Arrow, signed. Which is very impressionist. I can't explain why. No, but it is. But it really is. If I went to this guy, he definitely wouldn't have. I think the impressionist people, I think that I bet they love a police dog display, Frank.

Don't you think? Oh, but I love that. Oh, so do I. I think there are something. Okay, we've got to guess who it is I would have gone Luke Kent. well. I'm going to tell you. Come on.

It was Phil Cornwell. Oh, he's so well known. I would consider him well known. He is well known. I said not mainstream. Oh, okay, not mainstream. Fair enough. Yeah.

Who did he do from? He was great. He was different. Oh. He did like a Thomas Hardy sketch. Now this. Where he played Thomas Hardy. I can really get on board of this.

Nobody knows what Thomas Hardy sounds like. But he did, it was a real range because he did. He did Tommy Cooper. Yeah. Which I thought, oh man, he's doing Tommy Cooper. But he also did the lead singer of Fontaines, D.C. So he would, you know, he's a loose canon. Because he's the voice of one of the guerrillas characters.

That's right, yeah. Is that right? Oh, okay. Murdoch, the bassist. Yeah. So would you, highlight? recommend? Well, I think he's great. He did some poems, but he didn't do them as poems, I don't think. He did them as a sort of odd poet doing poems, but I really like them. Oh, Frank, I've just realised he was the one in Stellar Street, which I loved. I loved him in that. And he was on Steve Wright in the afternoon and all that. And he's been in, well, I work with Steve Coogan a lot as well. I know exactly who he is. I love him. Okay, can I go and see him? Maybe I will.

I don't know if it's a tour or what it was just in a little theatre in Hampstead but I didn't go back and we got nearly home and my wife said I'm surprised you didn't go back I said well now this really would be going back if I went back here

I didn't think I knew him well enough to go back I've talked to you about this before haven't I we've had this conversation numerous times and you do it you have a lot of hesitationary going back and as a sort of arrogant

spoiled theatre child, I just marched, you've seen me, I marched straight backstage. Because my parents were like, always go and congratulate them. And I think you do it out of manners. You do it out of... I don't know what it is. I just, I fear going... Yes. And someone going, get out.

Get out! He did a voice. Which people might after a gig, you never know. Start out the question. No, I want everyone to know. I know that when Frank doesn't go back it's not because he didn't enjoy it it's because you feel it's somehow entitled

or something going over. I invited a few people I knew to these you know what as I saying on the last podcast I recorded this the tour show I did for TV and I invited some people

along to that. Thanks a lot and I've never thought of you No it's okay it's all right Steve gave me one of his coms. You wouldn't have com anyway. I would have.

Walthamster. Oh, no, I wouldn't have. Anyway, absolutely wouldn't have. It's, uh, I haven't heard from most of them. So, yes, I assume they didn't like it. Why haven't you heard from them from?

I don't know. But I, they wouldn't have heard from me if I'd gone to their gig. So it's the bite of bit. Really? So, you know, fair enough. But I always thought it was very, we went to see Frank once. It would have been this very show. It was 30 years of dirt at the Palladium, Frank.

No, I've got that wrong. I'm sorry, that big theatre, Euro. The deal, good, yes. And I went with Jonathan Ross. Right. And we wanted to see Frank, but it was when he was very vivie ill. Do you remember Frank? Yes, I had the flu.

And he had to dash, and your then tour manager was great. He explained Frank is indisposed. He would love to have you back, but I'm afraid. he said it's not going to be possible. You wouldn't have liked it. No. So it was best. But I remember we left and I thought, I did think, well, I'll leave Frank in peace.

And Jonathan immediately got out of his phone. And he said, no, I absolutely need to let him know now. I'm not waiting. But that's all right. No, but I loved that about Jonathan. I was in the car by then. I know. I literally did an Elvis.

I walked straight out into the car and home. But my point is that was the classy thing to do, immediate phone call. You need to do that, Frank. Thank you. Good night. And I won't be seeing you in awful. On the tour, you had quite a fascinating collection of people who'd come backstage. Did I?

Some celebs and some people who worked for martial music. It was like a nice little snapshot of... Oh, rub it in, Steve. Why don't you? I had to, I had to, you know, the best of what I was left with from the comps. He said he has no friends. It turned out. He was drowning in them. I don't know about that.

I was too skit. Phil Cornwall, a thing that I wrote and performed it. If this is an age old garage. No, no. I think twice about it. I was, he very, he provided a voice for a thing that I worked on and I was really wanting to meet him.

I was too scared. So I have, I turned down the chance to meet him because I thought, I'll fan boy. And he literally, he said one, there was one thing. I don't know why we chose him.

It was just a sort of an act of fan work. So he got to say, take that, you bastard. Right. To someone off stage, off screen who was punching a donkey. Okay. And, but yeah, I was too scared. So sometimes it's the other way, rather than not want, you know, rather than sort of the performer not having the time to meet these other people.

Sometimes it's fear. I really, so I mean, I'm jealous that you went to see him. Do you know him? Are you pals? I let me tell your story. I went to see. Fairport Convention recently.

And I know Fairport Convention, I know the band members and, you know, they are legendary folk rock, whatever you want to classify the mass figures. And a guy came up to me after and said, all right, Frank, I haven't seen you for years, which people come up to me and say that, you know, on several occasions.

and I said, oh, okay, so I saw you in Edinburgh. I said, oh, right, when was that? He said, oh, man, it's probably been 20 years ago. I said, oh, wow. So he talked, and then he started talking about football, which, again, people generally do and asking me about, you know,

whether West Brom were going to get relegated and all that stuff. And then I said, anyway, you know, take care of yourself, and off we went. And my wife, we got to the car, and she said, who was that you were talking to? I said, it was just a bloke, you know. She said, no, no, no, I recognised him. Really?

I said, no, I don't think. I think it was just a bloke. You know, someone I'd met in Ed. She said, no, I recognised him. And I said, it was Phil Cornwell, wasn't it? I said, I've just, you say that, it's made me see his face. So she got obsessed in a deep dive. Fair now, he was playing locally.

So that's how we were there. That's how it happened. But it was, I'm glad we went. He was. and see it then if it's still on, why not? It's very, the wild, the bit, there's a bit of Tony Montana on holiday in the Cotswold,

which was brilliant. Yeah, brilliant. I'll tell you what I saw, I mention this because I don't know, I feel confident Steve will have seen this. Yesterday. Have you seen it in? The film?

Yeah. Richard Curtis. Richard Curtis. I have seen it. Do you know it? Yeah, I do know. I do know it. You're looking at me like you're lying.

No, no. Now you've called Steve a lot. Well done. That look, I was absolutely. You know what you said to me? Have you said that film? And they go, yeah. And you think,

why have you said that? You clearly haven't seen the film. And that look, it was because I don't like to yuck anyone's yum on air, but I thought it was fucking dog shit. So that's why. Wow.

Goodness. I thought it was an actively terrible film. Wow. Few. also. Look, I have seen it and I, you know, bitterly regret having seen it.

Wow. That is a strong reaction to it. And don't know about yucking people's yums, Steve. With the old, is that a bad phrase? I didn't like it. What's that? He was talking about yucking people's yum.

I don't know what that means. It means... It was better than fucking dogs shit. Which can I say, don't do that. No. It means urinating on someone's chips. Oh, does he. You know, I'm still quite coy about swearing on this podcast.

Yes. Some of the readers like me for that, may I say. Steve Hall started it. It might be the first time I've ever sworn on this podcast. I'm quite, I quite, yes. And I tell you now, it'll be the last. Steve, why the big reaction? It's just so patronising that thing of like,

the Lennon at the end, where Lennon has survived and is an old man. and he visits him, my God, so manipulative. Can I tell you something? Oh, no, Steve Frank wrote it. I cried at that bit. Did you? I did. I cried at the idea that John Lennon could still be alive.

Yes. And I cried at the idea that if he hadn't made it, he probably still would be alive. I don't know if he would have chosen that option. Yes. But yeah, although he does sort of throw it. Do you know the premise? Yeah, I've seen it.

It's a bloat wakes up. And no one else remembers the Beatles, except him. Except him. They didn't exist. So he just writes all the Beatles songs and get. It's essentially Goodnight Sweetheart. Yeah. I have to say.

It is. You're right. Good night sweet art. And Nicholas Linders wakes up during World War II. Yeah. And then he writes, I think he writes some Beatles songs as well. But he becomes the songwriter and writes all the songs that haven't been written yet. Yes.

It's very. And then there's that film where Richard Curtis wakes up and nobody. Everybody remembers Good Night Sweetheart. And so he writes yesterday. That's basic of the process. So did you... But I liked it and I did properly cry. First time you'd seen it then the other day.

Okay. This is good. He's catching up. I'm trying to remember because it's been a while... I think so. Is Ed Shearin in it? Ed Shearin does have a came in it. There's a very, very good joke in it, which I really liked.

I think it's the best joke I've ever seen in a Richard Curtis film. Really? At one point in this world where no one remembers the Beatles. He Googles Oasis and they don't exist. That's it. Yeah, that's good. But neither does Harry Potter or cigarettes. I couldn't work out of it.

Is the Harry Potter thing right at the end? Is that like he discovers that not only have the Beatles, no one knows the Beatles, but nobody knows Harry Potter. It's like a little punchline at the end of the film. I don't. I might be, I blocked out large chunks. of it. Well, if you were screaming at it, you wouldn't have heard what they were saying anyway.

And the Beatles had to approve it because of the music. So they gave it, because Michael... Oh, that's a sort of. Michael no longer owns it. He's no longer with us, as we know. But I think they bought it back, didn't they? Former County bought it back.

Richard Curtis must have a lot of contact, so he could have sorted that out. Well connected. He makes me look useless in that department. And that's what I feel bad about not liking the film because a TV show that I used to work where we'd have a guest every week across about a decade. The only two people who ever insisted on meeting the writers

and saying hello to the writers were Richard Curtis and Danny Baker. So I've got a lot of goodwill towards both of them. Sounds like it. God, I wonder what Steve's like if he turns against you. I'll know that I'll soon find out. Steve's told me you thought my memoir was dog-fucking dog shit. And he said that. came from a place of love.

Here's a question for you, Steve. If you woke up in a world where nobody remembered Jimmy Carr, Jimmy Carr had never existed. My God. Would you do his act? I'm trying to think of a Jimmy joke that I would want to use.

No. Okay. I'm trying to... He's done very well. Bear in mind, he's doing well in America. He's got about nine TV shows. He's a really, really interesting, funny.

I did a loyal following. We did a sketch with him on a TV thing called The Wall about 20 years ago and he was really, really funny. Hang on, was that the thing with Anton 2B when you had to stick to the wall? No, that was, yeah, that was hole in the wall. I'm sorry.

That was the one that I turned it down and they gave it to Anton de Beck. Yeah. Well, then why wouldn't you do his act if he never existed? Would you do with that? Because it's all, it's... I don't need to.

Oh yeah, that's true. That's true. Paraport? I am. I'm trying to throw Steve a lifeline. I would sometimes, as a writing exercise, I would try and write Jimmy Carr-style one-liners, just as a thing of shaking.

As a writing exercise? Yeah, it's quite a fun way. If you sort of just go, I imagine I have no conscience, and I'll just write some conscience-free one-liners. Oh. So I can give you an example, but it's slightly too... Why, they're going down like nine pins onto a row. Steve's razor's sharp tongue.

Go on, give us an example. The only one I can think of is rude. Since we've gone down the same, so Jimmy Carr's style one liner I wrote was what do you call a subtle paedophile and nuance. Ah. So that... I can hear him doing that.

So that was, and it was quite a fun sort of thing of trying to write like a character for a script who would be a sort of TV presenter. You could write for Jimmy Carr, is what you're saying. Yeah, yeah, probably not after the previous two minutes of what I've said. Well, I don't know. I think he got off like compared to Richard. Compared to yesterday.

I think there's a thing about just not doing someone else's act. Even if they'd never existed. Even if they'd never existed. If you knew that you were stealing someone else's joke, that's like the ultimate. I had quite a lengthy correspondence with a particular critic who had published an interview with Bobby Davro. So that's very 70s of you to have a correspondence with a critic. But all the old time, who'd just done a thing about Bobby Davro.

Yeah. And they put a thing, they'd reviewed Pierre's Soho Theatre show, given Pierre a lovely review, and then had done a thing saying, can you please click on this review because it'll help me get more reviews in the newspaper? And so it was like, please keep supporting me

because it'll help me boost comedy in general. And then the next week they published an interview with Bobby Davro, who, and in the interview quoted a load of other comedians, jokes they quoted a Mark Simmons joke and a few other people, Seymour Mace was a joke so I'd entered into this correspondence saying can you either remove those jokes or credit the people that Davro has taken those jokes from?

Okay. So with that in mind that's why I could... I should say allegedly at this point. I'd never, in this hypothetical world where Jimmy had never existed, I would feel too onerbound to do any to do any of his jokes. I feel we've uncovered a rage. Today I didn't know existed. I was in Honolulu once.

So international, Frank. We went to a karaoke. And one of the guys I was with, his marriage had split up, literally that week. His wife had left him. And he got up to do the karaoke. And we were all a bit taken about that he was, you know, feeling up to it.

And he did yesterday. And he sat on a speaker. and sang, basically not looking at the audience, just looking at the floor, holding the mic and sang yesterday. Fuck it. Oh, man. It was, the blood was coming out of the speakers.

I mean, it was, oh, it was powerful. Let's put it out of. When I was in the queue at one of the record shops on record store, Day. There was a bloke had a Paul McCartney T-shirt. Lovely. And as I said to you before, when we talked about record store day, the thing that everyone says in the queue is what you're after.

And the bloke came out to say what was sold out telling people you need a cue anymore, that's gone. And we were about 40th in the queue and he said, this guy said, it's the George Harrison album. George, they brought out of George Harrison in some sort of revamped

He said there's one left And he went And I said I think you'll be all right Personally Looking at this crowd I hope he got it But yeah

They're still out there The old Beatles obsessive Yeah They're still going Jeff Lloyd Beatles He's obsessive He loves a bit of Beatles Don't get me wrong

I love the Beatles But I don't think myself As an obsessive No Just say You would tell me about a bit of beetles Beatles merch you've got like a menu from like a British Airways flight.

It's that when they were flying back from filming Help in Bermuda, I think it was. I've got the menu from that flight which is signed. They've all signed it but John Lennon signed it about six times. Suggestion being that he was a little out of it. Oh, did you? Oh, it's a shame. Did you pay for that? Did you part? I've paid for it.

I did. He's got some. nice things at an auction. Remember me when you're gone. Can I just share something with you? You were talking about your recording that you did, which Steve was involved in the evening, weren't you?

You were doing the warm-up. This is of your show 30 years of dirt. This was for a TV broadcast that was being recorded. Is that correct? But that is right. I do apologise. James, who's our Berlin correspondent, which is very apt, he

says, I went to see the recording. of Frank's 30... What, from Berlin? Yeah, I think he does come from Berlin. Yes, specifically to see you, Frank. That never happened. Well, will you listen? Okay.

I went to see the recording of Frank's 30 years of dirt at Soho Theatre of Althamstow last weekend. I'll redact the praise, but I will say that seeing Frank live has been on my list for the last 10 years and I travelled from Berlin, Germany, just to see the show last weekend. That actually makes me cry.

That actually makes me cry. I love it. That's lovely. Mind you, I did travel to Berlin just to meet Pissing Billy. Frank, don't ruin a nice thing. Is that what he's called? You know the book that used to sit next to the urinal at the gay club? I thought he was called Pissing Billy. Oh, I thought it was the statue of the boy doing a wee.

Where's that? No, I'm on about the gay man who sat next to the Urival. I know. Which, with the global fuel crisis. shows my commitment to fulfilling my dream. Look, I think it shows your commitment without the global fuel crisis. James continues, hold your high horses, Steve.

Steve's jealousies, it's tangible. Still not entirely back in my good books after Zinawaring Princess Gate. Despite the sea of grey hair in front of me. And then tearing apart a man who's probably raised more money for poor African people than anyone else on the play. Throwing words like dog excrement around.

Why have you gone all Charles Brompson's sea? Despite the sea of grey hair in front of me, I'm in my early 30s, in his early 30s, and he comes all the way from Berlin. That's dedication, Frank. And I thought the show was as fresh as it gets. Two things I'd like to mention. Oh, oh, Jane.

I've clenched. Is it the hunchback? No, it's not the hunchback. Go on. Number one, I laughed at the Helen of Troy joke. Wow. I didn't hear it. He must have laughed from the gentleman's toilets.

I can honestly say, I don't remember ever doing a joke. I mean, there was 900, no means, Steve. 980s. No one laughed. I can't. I mean, I told you this joke last week. I said, no one will ever get it. I liked it.

And then I thought I'll try it. I like it. I'll repeat it quickly in case you didn't hear it. It said there's a thousand ships stock in the straight of Hormuz. And I said, well, Helen of Troy puts one selfie on Instagram. And nothing. He got literally not. Steve, I'm not kidding you.

It would kill, I'd say 12 random people to have that. Oh, fine. Come on. Please. I was because I'd heard it on the podcast. Because you did it quite early in the set. Well, it wasn't in the set. That was it. I want to get it out there.

Because I never believed. If that had got a proper laugh, my entire view of humanity would do it. Well, it did from James. Go, oh, wow. So already, he's thrown money at you. You know, he spent money on. I thought I heard a laugh that went, ha, aha. This is Racklammer.

And then you heard him go, quiet blonde. Be him. He's come from Berlin when some people wouldn't come to Walthamstow for the show. That's the, what he did come. Do you want to hear his other. bit of feedback before we go. This is James's moment, Steve. If this is about Steve. It's not.

Number two, so number one, I laughed at the Helen of Troy joke, which is great. Number two, Frank looked great in his suit, but, oh God. Here comes the shoulder. No, the shoes look too big. The shoes. The shoes look too big.

I'll be honest. I have been, I wore these shoes for the whole. tour just because... What are they like? Slip-ons? Yeah, but they are. They look terrible. I dropped maple syrup. Why don't you call me?

About 12 gigs in, I dropped maple syrup on them at a hotel buffet. And I've never got it off. Maple syrup, well, you Disneyland with Chip and Dale. No, I was having a waffle for breakfast. You know what you need. You know Donald Trump buys all his staffers the same? black shoes he makes them wear. And he guesses their size, doesn't he?

So he says, you have to all wear these shoes. Terrible shoes. They look cheap. These shoes look terrible. So he sends them all these regulation shoes. But doesn't bother to find out the size. No, I've got better shoes. Poor little Marco Rubio in shoes that are like three sizes. Yes, three. And they have to wear them. I've got better shoes. It's just that I'd worn those shoes for the entire tour.

And I suppose superstition-wise, I thought if I change them now, my lock could change with them. Oh, that's so sweet. Well, now you've got your answer. James, thank you so much for coming to see. Yes, that was lovely of you, James. And I'm glad you enjoyed it. And so we come to the end of the podcast.

Thank you very much, Steve. Thank you, Jenny as well. There were times when you were... Unhinged? Yeah. I'm off to a burly cue. I'm worried that I've given Steve some horrible addict. that's about me to take away to tell off these comedy friends.

What's the tell-all book going to be, Steve, about Frank? At least now, the people that think you didn't give them a ticket, you'll be able to blame my management company. Yeah, that's true. Our management competition. Anyway, the next episode of Frank Skinner's poetry podcast is out on Wednesday. This time it's Richard Broughtigan. Do you know him?

I do. Mainly because of the... Purely down to The Lovely Eggs. Yes, well, I heavily named you. I read Richard Broughtigan's novel Trout Fish in America years ago, but I didn't know he wrote poetry. But thanks to Holly from The Lovely Eggs, who do a song about Richard Broughton,

in which they rhyme Broughtigan, sort of rhyme it with Digi's accordion. Beef Borgignon. But he writes very, very, beautiful, slightly mad, sort of 1960s, 70s, San Francisco, height, Ashbury, hippie, crazy poetry that I love very much. And I think you might like it too.

So check that out. It's a Frank Skinner podcast. A new winter change is blowing. It's the Frank Skinner podcast. I'm not totally sure how it's going. Thanks for listening to the podcast. Make sure to like and follow so you never miss an episode. And if you want to get in touch,

you can email the podcast via Frank Off the Radio at Avalonuk.com.