The Frank Skinner Show - Frank Skinner’s Radio Days: Sugars

Episode Date: May 2, 2026

Frank, Emily and Steve Hall are in 2013 for our trip down radio memory lane. Frank’s had a case of mistaken identity and Peter Capaldi has been announced as the new Doctor. There’s also chat about household chores and reasons for dumping people. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Don't miss what the movie blog calls something you need to watch. Saving those children is how we all go home. From binge all episodes exclusively on Paramount Plus. This episode is brought to you by Defender. With a towing capacity of 3,500 kilograms and a waiting depth of 900 millimeters, the Defender 110 pushes what's possible. Learn more at landrover.ca. This is Frank Schitt.

I nearly swore at the office. Welcome back, Frank. Hi, everybody. Bye. Rusty as hell. Right. Skinner on Absolute Radio. So, let me start like this.

I'm with Emily Dean, and also Steve Hall is here today. Steve Hall is all over this channel, like a rash. He is. He's got his little feet under the table. He's the house guest who around Thursday says, I couldn't stay another week. Anyway, it's always a joy. Although I haven't played this for a little.

And they don't give you money of these house guests, I'm sorry. Sorry. They don't buy anything. They might get something a bit useless, like a box of chocolates or something. They'll never actually buy bread. No, you're right. Next week, the hint is taken. Next week I'm coming in with chocolates and bread.

Thank you. Anyway, I got a car in this morning. I don't walk into Absolute Radio at that time of the morning. Anything could happen. People on their way home is what you pass at that time of the morning in London, not people going out. And they're all on the ecstasies. I can't walk around.

Fully or not, that's coincidentally, actually, as I mentioned, now, I don't know if I ever told you, but I did an interview with, I think, The Guardian. And the woman who was interviewing me, this is a couple years ago probably, said, oh, a friend of mine was on a train with you. She sat opposite you, and she said, you did Amyl Nitrate for the whole journey. Wow. I thought people are so in discreet. It's not normally the sort of thing

you associate with a train journey. Do you want, can I get a kick at it? Depends on your train journey. I don't associate it with you. And that's breakfast radio. So, let us move on. Can I say that I'm anti-drugs, as is the absolute radio institution?

So we, yeah, so it was obviously a case of mistaken identity. Yeah. And then this morning, I got a car and the guy said, to me, I gave you a lift seven years ago from Reading.

And I thought, I wonder if it's me. Because I don't I mean, I'm out, I mean, we're all in Redden occasionally. I think we'll admit that. And I just go to look at that big wind farm thing at one end of the football ground.

Yeah. They've got an entire wind farm propeller thing and apparently it just operates the till in the club shop. that's all the power but anyway and he said yeah I'll pick you up and I drop you down by

you were by Maddoch Street you got dropped off I thought I don't know what you're talking about I don't know where but I said yeah yeah oh oh you know when you did that oh yeah oh rings oh oh rings um and then he said we drove on for a bit said you know you know why I remember that journey and I thought

was I doing it now well no I'm not I said No, I'm why, he said, you gave me a 50-pound tip. I thought it wasn't me. It so wasn't you, darling. It definitely wasn't me, under no circumstances. But what a great case of mistaken identity. You know what? I think that was Norton.

He strikes me as a big tipper. That would change the shaggy song. You tip very generously. It wasn't me. Yeah. But then I thought, because I thought, well, that's great, because he knows things. I'm the black, he's probably told lots of people that story,

and it's great publicity for me being a good guy. And then towards the end of the journey, I started to think, hold on a minute. Yeah, yeah. He's not anticipating some sort of tip, is he, at the end of this? And that covers every journey he's ever going to make. Yeah, and I thought that was fair enough. But what a lovely case of being, I was mistaken for someone generous. Lovely.

We've taken all by radio shows and done a bit of editing and tightening. It's a walk-down memory lane. I know because people find new things quite frightening. We've had another text from Nugget. Oh, Nogget. Who says, Morning, Mr. Radio, Miss Emily, Wicistivia. Welcome back, Frank.

Wicke Stee. Oh, is his name now. He says, Frank, so your doppelganger, well, almost. Peter Capaldi is the new doctor. I was relieved to hear you back on our airwaves this morning, as I thought you may have offered yourself after not getting the nod, cheerful from Nugget there. You'd have been great, but I think Peter Capaldi might be pretty good, just saying.

Oh. Yes, I think that... What did you think? because you won't hear from the big news. I did think that's my last chance gone. Because safe Capaldi does three years, which is the sort of average, I think, for a doctor, not counting your Ecclestons and stuff.

Yeah. Then by, they're not going to want a doctor who looks a bit like the last doctor or the whole regeneration thing. They'll do a regeneration. And the assistant will say, did it not work? And I'll say, no, no, no, I have changed,

but not as much as they usually do. So I think that's it for me Are you pleased, though? I thought you'd be a fan of the ball. I think it's part of Stephen Moffat's scorched earth policy. It's bringing an old doctor who, all the kids will stop watching. And when he leaves the show, the whole show will collapse around us. Now, apparently there was lots of kids on Twitter.

Four, saying, oh, I won't watch it again because, you know, I don't want to watch an old man close up. Is that what I said? Yeah. Oh, they'd rather the old one who sold Peruvian hats in Canada. and market. No, but if you, who's that? That's Matt Smith.

He does look a bit like that. I know what you mean, yeah. But he's sort of beautiful, Matt Smith. And I think Eccleston... The young always are. Tenant and Matt Smith could all be... I'll be described as handsome young men. And I think the idea was

that that got in your female fans. Very patronising. That's like women going to football because they like their legs. So we'll see what happens. but I actually think he'll be brilliant. And I saw him in the lady killers in the West End where he spent the whole thing where in a very, very long scarf.

Oh, he knew. Hi, hi. Oh, weird? Because, you know, because the long... So, talking of neat and tidy, old Steve, has been boring us somewhat this morning, where he's boring me, talking about his household chores.

What chores? Well, that's the thing. I'm given so few things. Now that old musical joke When they say I haven't done the chores yet And somebody says, what chores? And you say, thanks very much to have a double scotch. It's one of the great classics.

I know that in the context of Jaws the film. Have you seen that new shark film, Jaws? What's Jaws? That new show? Oh. But from the 70s, as in that was when it came out. Oh, okay, that's obviously been modernised. It could be what's, have you seen the baddie in James Bond with the big teeth?

Yeah, could be. This is good. Yeah. Yes, no, my chores have been horrendous this week. Oh, what's been going on? I've let my wife down badly. I've given one thing to do, which is I'm meant to take the recycling out, and I get a bit obsessed with it, and ordinarily I'm all across it,

and I forgot to take it out this week. The recycling? What is in, it's in like a separate bag? Well, Camden Council, they've now combined it. It used to be that you had paper separate and everything else, your plastics in your glass, in a different box, but now everything is a free-for-all, and they sort it themselves. Is that right?

I don't think it's ever sorted. No, I totally agree with you, thank God. I'm very much. I totally agree. One can only think of the railings in World War II. You know, people used to send in tear down their railings and stuff, and all sorts of, give all sorts of metal for use for guns and bomb casing. And they found that we're just dropping all this scrap metal in the solent.

It couldn't actually be used. and recycled, but it just made people feel good they were helping the war effort. And I think recycling works the same way, doesn't it? I don't think it's actually recycled. It's being dumped off shore somewhere. I'm not blaming them. It's a, you know, it's a picky old business recycling.

Yeah. But we all feel like we're doing something. I get obsessive because I get, every now and then they forget, they leave it, and I take it personally. If they don't. You take it personally? What, by car or by thought?

I do. I have to take it by hand to the nearest bin. I get so upset. because I started going, why do they... I actually once said to my wife, why do they hate me? Oh, dear. And I had a small breakdown. But see, it makes you feel better

because you think you're recycling. Yeah. That's good works. Well, the moat has been removed from my eyes. Now that I realise there's no point in bothering, it's been dumped in the Solent on top of old railings. Yeah, that is a fact, though, I think, so... Really?

I'm not saying it happens now, but I am saying it happens now. I can't bear recycling. Okay. I think that's the trail of sorts. I don't mind a chore, though, around the house. Oh, I love a chore. What's your favourite chore? I'd say, changing nappies, I think.

Oh, that's a good one. I like changing. It's got none of the guesswork of wiping your own bottom. You can really make absolutely sure that it's spotlessly clean, whereas, you know, it's a guessing game, isn't it, when you do it? Yeah. Yeah. You know, you just...

There's a lot of, um, hitting hope. Yeah. About it. Nice when it's all clean and nice as well. Love it. Nice new nappy. Oh, yes. Yes.

Yes. It is, yeah. You really feel like you've done him a good term. Yeah. Yeah. I like that one. Least favourite, I would say, cleaning glasses.

I'm terrible at big of glasses. Cleaning glasses. I don't mean spectacles. You mean wine glasses. You mean, you know, tumblers. cleaning tumblers. I had a job at the circus. They get so smeary.

They are. And the smears. I tell you something, every glass in our house looks like we've drunk milk out of it. Yeah. And I never have a glass of milk ever. I haven't since the 70s. But it's always got that line on the top.

I tell you the worst. Champagne glasses. I find that very difficult to get into the groove. What glasses generally? They're a bit narrow. You can't get your house. Yeah. So you get those sort of so-called glass cleaning brushes that they just move the milk line so it's a bit less even.

That's a horrible job. I like the dishwasher, though. I like slotting all the elements into the little grooves. It's like Connect 4. I love it. I can't stand there. Like an elaborate game of Tetris. That moment when you switch the dishwasher on and you look across and there's two mugs on the coffee table.

They almost taunt you. Yeah. Have you ever done that? of opening the door. Oh. When it's like, water dripping down. Somebody get the...

Right. I love it when you get a little steam, a little facial. From the steam coming out. I like that. That is a way of doing it. We'll come back to chores. And what's your least favorite

and favorite chores? You, mate. Yeah, and put some pants on. Franks to turn your base, the yeas away the place. We were talking about the chores, the domestic. chores what you like

and what you don't like. We've had an overwhelming response as well. Four? Four? Five, maybe? About six. Six or seven? Okay. Dizzy Lizzy says changing light bulbs. They scare me. I understand that. They are quite scary. But if she's got that name

Dizzy Lizzie because of her terrible vertigo problems. How many Dizzy Lizzie does it take to change a light bulb? I haven't checked. See, the light bulbs in my flat. They're not the dangling, put a shade on them type. They're sort of embedded in the ceiling. If they go, I think you just have to leave them. You have to sell the house. Yeah, I think so. I wouldn't know if you set off. No, I know how to change those. I'll come

round, get a Doctor Whobox set, because I'm up for that now. Okay. Well, I've just got regenerations. We can sit and watch all the various regenerations right the way through, and then I'll do a live Peter Capaldi at the end. I'd pay good money for that. We've had some other ones, aren't we, Steve? I'd pay him for money for it. Joe from Herne Hill has, as as texted him to say his worst chore has to be changing the bed covers. It's a nightmare especially hung over. They have to be hung over, I think. Otherwise, I'd just move about in the night.

I find... It depends what kind of a week I've had I find. Really? On how difficult I find it. Oh, yeah. How often are you supposed to change bed covers? Once a week. Oops.

Well, I... I'll ask to clean out. I don't know what I says. Do you ever find that fitted sheets? and effort, they don't give you much, there's not much give in it. You only get to the end and you're real, that's what I like. You get it over the corner of the mattress.

And if you read, I've done it when you really, really force it over. And the mattress is slightly raised in one corner like an old sandwich. Yes. Because you've forced over the fitted sheet. Can't they just give a bit more in a fitted sheet? No, because then it'll go wrinkly in the mid-area. No, no. In the midfield.

If it closed, if it closed, like tighter, underneath rather than just around the edges. Are you with me? I am with you. But it ends up looking like the bed has put on weight. Like it had the sheet fitted and then it's put on a few pounds. It's trying to fit into a size zero now and it's not working.

Exactly, that is terrible. I'm thinking now in my bed wetting days, I could have maybe, I wonder if I could have forced to shower cap over the bed looking back. It would have been tight, but it would have been worth a try. I could have put one on me, I suppose. I could have just sat in one like a frog on her.

Tone from Battersea is a slightly unusual chore that they enjoy. I don't know if tone could be a male or a female, but their favourite chore is, I love hooking a sausage from under the cooker as you get a few treats you didn't expect. So possibly from that, tone may actually be some sort of canine who's looking for treats.

Yeah, because I wouldn't have thought it happens a lot to get a sausage under the cooker. Or is that an Alan Bennett play? Yeah. Yeah, I never go under the cooker anymore. There used to be bits down there. See, I grew up with a dog and there was, you wouldn't find a sausage anywhere.

No. That used to be the joy of just throwing meat into the air and it never landed. The dog would just take it like a dolphin at some sort of display. Amazon presents Jeff versus Taco Truck Salsa, whether it's Verde, Roja, or the orange one. For Jeff, trying any salsa is like playing Russian roulette

with a flame thrower Luckily, Jeff saved with Amazon and stocked up on antacids, ginger tea and milk. Habaniero? More like habanier, yes. Save the everyday with Amazon. I've only recently returned from, I'm going to say, north of the border.

Oh, nice. Yeah, it's a lot cooler up there. I don't mean just, you know, people were wearing espedreels. I mean that it was. It was temperature-wise. Yeah. I found it refreshing. You were in Edinburgh.

I was in Edinburgh. I was too. With my own chat show. Yes, well, of course we met. It was lovely. It's somewhat more exciting about people when you meet them outside of their usual envirement. I totally agree. I felt a free song with you. Yeah, I felt like we were on the run. You've been already spotted. We've had communication from the public who were excited. Sorry, Steve. Bob, it's your chair creaking. Oh, is it?

It's like Jacob Marley. I can't bear it. It could be. I've noticed that Bob's getting in more and more of these slightly off-mite presents. It's like, you know, it's not the Chris Evans show. You're not going to be your character. Carry on. Deborah has emailed the show.

Cut to the week, Steve doesn't turn on. And we've got Bob with us this morning. Bob, how's that Spartan bathing going? Spartan would be a good name for a spa. Spar. Spartan, it could be. Carry on that thought. Carrying at the spa time, you've got everything there. Oh, I'll take care of the tan, you look after the spa.

What, it's what, it's there? When you say those places, do you mean sparta? I mean spars. Oh, okay. Sparta treatments there have. You could be called Spartan treatment. Oh, if you were getting Spartan treatment there. Yeah.

Oh, lovely business. Everything would have to be really basic. What about that? You know, red cloak with a letter in on it, and a Greek helmet just pitched on the capital less at the beginning. I want a Greek helmet when I'm getting my waxing done. That's not what I've heard. That's not what I've heard, Emily. That was what you sent me on a postcard once from Cyprus.

Anyway, carry on. Deborah has been on the show to say, I am writing to say how lovely it was to meet Frank and the Divine Miss M, Greek Helmet in Hague, at the OC's final show in Edinburgh this week. Well, let's not assume it's his final show. It went all right. Yeah.

She said, she's a compliment, and this is praise, but it's quite sweet praise. She says, Frank, you were a gentleman. I don't mind that. That's all right. It's a hint of irony, isn't it? Yeah. It's true, she says, you were fun. If you were to take the, I presume gentlemen is like over the top of tip X.

And if you rip the tip X off, it'll say on the day, it's much older than I thought. Oh. I don't think she means that at all. I think you were a gentleman. I think I know this. And you don't get many fan letters saying that. No, I don't say. I guess I'm saying you were a gentleman. Yeah.

Actually, I don't. She says, frankly, you're a gentleman, funny as always and as immaculate as Emily describes. Oh, yeah. I had a suit and tie. You look lovely. I was going to dress up for the eyes, say. Respect. And she says, Emily, please take it as a compliment that I didn't recognize you until I heard your rich, regal tones. I assure you it's because you look even younger and more beautiful in the flesh than your absolute profile. He said there's a little bit of praise in this.

She's worshipped at Emily's altar. I was very happy with that. She wasn't the only one this week. No. I don't think we'll do that on air. Carry on. She says, I wanted to thank you firstly

for letting me know about your ad lib gig with Stephen Moffat. Oh yes, I did a... Well, I'll talk about that later. I did a gig with Stephen Moffat, who is the showrunner, as they call them now. I think they used to call them, what, executive producer or...

I don't know if it's an equivalent. Anyway, he's basically Mr. Doctor Who. Mr. Doctor Who? Who, that's a quite annoying. Hello, I'm Mr. Doctor Who. Yeah, exactly. You've got too many titles. I suggest you lose one.

Yeah, but yeah, he's the brains. I did a show with him. But this was at the O.C. We're going to have to, you've took so long to read this out. We're going to have a musical interview. We're not even finished either. No, anyway. Yes, I'm keen to hear the punchline of this.

There better be one, Steve. Yes, I'll hear what, Steve. You've got about three minutes 30 to come up with one. If there isn't, she'll get writing. Well, we've had a question. file a few text and emails. Good. Yeah.

They've been writing in about two subjects, which are kind of connected. They'd be writing in about why you would dump someone. Yes, I'm very interesting reasons for dumping, obscure reasons. And also things that they like, that would be a deal breaker if someone didn't like it. Yes. For example, Ryan has tweeted,

well, if they don't like Star Wars, or at least attempted to watch it, then there wouldn't be a relationship. I think that's something noble about that, though. Yeah. You just think I can't, I need to share. Producer Daisy was just saying, She nearly ended it with her fella because he refuses to watch The Wire.

It was very nearly the end of relationship. That's one million days you've never happened. I will not watch any of those American serial. I know you won't. Speaking with Merlin. Just you. Fee says she dumped someone who texted that they missed me, spelled M-I-S-T, rather than missed-me.

Needy and an inability to spell. Unacceptable. That's great. And I like it. We've had a text from Lee. Lee says, A friend of mine dumped a long-term girlfriend because she had the cheek to flush the toilet in his flat.

This was because he was on a water meter and he was extremely careful with his money. This is like my theory about only flush at the end of the day before you go to bed. And then you're only, you know, to save the planet. And you take it all in one hit. Come on dump someone because of that. You're not to say Domp immediately after that.

No, John. 536 has said he split up with his girlfriend after an England squad was announced and she referred to Tony Adams as a shower of manure. It's still whines him up now. You've taken the alliteration out of that. I have a good man. To be fair, she was referring to Chapter 7

in his autobiography addicted, I suspect. Which I'm read, and it's one of my favourites. But as they said, a brilliant thing about addictive. It's a powerful, got-wrenching story. of heavy drinking and in the life of a professional sportsman. And then the last chapter is my all-time great 11. Wonderful. What about this, Frank, 990?

At university, I showed a matter of life and death to a flatmate. Oh, David Niven. I kept talking and saying, Isn't it great? I ruined the film for him. End of friendship. Wow. That's a big one.

That's pretty strict. I find someone saying, isn't this great. really helps. It's hot. It's got hot in here. We've had a good text about someone, well, it doesn't say they dumped them, but this was something they found unattractive.

My ex cried when she couldn't play video games. She was very competitive. I found it a bit overwhelming. That's from Nile. He's put to this with that. It sounds, yeah, he might have stopped with her for other reasons. It's a factor. We've had a tweet from Andy Sondon.

who said that he told an ex when they got together that she absolutely was not allowed to play her Michael Jackson collection on his stereo. So he said, and they stayed together, but he set the ground rules early. Yeah, that's probably. Me and Kath, my girlfriend, we had quite a big...

I think we might have actually split temporarily, because she didn't know George Galloway was. It's amazing what can cause a thing like that. It just made me think, oh, well. I once dumped a girl because we were at the theatre

and she shouted out Bravo at the end Oh yeah And that's a bit where you just know Well this is we are we are not meant to be in this life A friend of mine had a woman saying I'm off to spend a penny And I don't think he was there when she came back Well a friend of mine dumped a boyfriend Because when he got into bed with that

He used to do that, you know you hold your hands together And did that dive like people dive into that He used to do that diving That comedy diving Yeah. What about Elizabeth, Frank? Hi, Frank. I can remember dumping someone in the 80s.

We were teenagers and he was a school hunk, but thick as, let's say, two planks. Anyway, he came over to see me in the rain. His bright red espadrilles got wet, so my mum insisted he dried them on our solid fuel boiler. After an hour, the rubber soles curled up, and it put me right off. Really?

Ever since then. We've all been a bit of rabid and nice. Ever since then, I've had a thing about shoes. They've got to be right. Plus, I got my mate to dump him, which wasn't very nice. Lots of love, Elizabeth. I know Elizabeth's on to something about shoes. I think if you see someone...

I like a Turkish slipper. Yeah, I'm happy with a Turkish slipper. Don't get me wrong. But sometimes if you meet someone and you look at their shoes and they just look like they might have got them on prescription. I do. I think I may be judged. people in general

Well you know what a deal breaker for me is, I think I might have told you this, is just any men, any of my suitors out there, if you're listening, I won't, I can't abide a caramel, you know this, Frank, a caramel loafer with a square toe. Oh yeah. The sort of Richard Hammond ones. Yeah, would you feel about a man with no socks in it, with a...

Oh, I'd be very happy with that. Yeah, with those shit, what do they call? Those ones that are like moccasins. Oh, what were the loafer? Loafer, yeah. Oh, I'm happy with that. Man United T, mid-90s. It's all.

Well, as well as style-canceled style. Yeah. As long as they're immaculate like you. It's more, once again, it's the older man in the Emmanuel film. She used to see, Emmanuel, love is like a fabulous flower when it opens. Yeah, get away from me. 933. My friend took her boyfriend home to meet her parents,

and he looked at a picture of Einstein on the wall and said, so is that your grandad? They didn't last for long after that. That's fair enough. He had to go. Is that the sort of thing they try and pull off as a... joke once they realise their mistake. Yeah, they're styling out.

The only way I can forgive him is if that text is signed Karen Einstein. Zero-06. Hi Frank, I had to dump a boyfriend because he always had little crusty pieces of food in the corners of his mouth. Oh, I don't like that, Frank. I mean, that surely sounds like he was dating someone with a massive beard, I'm going to guess.

That's a... Yeah, it's a very significant tough. Not necessarily. Even worse, if there was no bean. They would only secured by saliva and... Maybe you had the beard. And mouth snow. You know that mouth snow? Oh, I hate mouth snow. The worst mouth snow is when it gets so confident

it strays out the corners of the mouth. I can't bear that. And builds that cord down the centre of the mouth. I am, yeah, I don't like that at all. And maybe he had the beer. What happened to supply, teacher? Fred in Fulham has said that he seriously questioned his marriage to his wife

when she turned off this is spinal tap after 20 minutes. Well, that's why me and Fred from Fulham could if I get on, because I always thought, I saw that, lots of people said to me, oh man, you got to go and see this film. And I saw it, I didn't even, if I had hated it, I thought they could have forgiven me. I thought it was all right, spinal tat. And now you meet those people who say, oh, it's like that bit in spinal tat.

Yeah. And I always say, yeah, I saw a spinal tat, I thought it was all right. And you can see their faces dismissing me. So that's the other end of the equation, as Karen's granddad would say. What I always do if I stay at a hotel, which I never do at home, is I mix serials. So I have, I'll get me cereal bowl. Can I ask you question, Frank? Do you get room service?

You'll strike me as more man of the people. No, I got out to breakfast. I knew you were like. I'd like to see who stay in there. People watching it. I like to do that. And also I like to do the hobob of people saying that's Frank Skinner. That's one of the great highlights of my life.

But so I'll have a bit of musley and cocoa pops. Oh, together? Yeah, all in the same bowl. Curious bedfellows. It's brilliant. And I had to top it off with a cornflake. Well, I ate cornflakes, careful. A shereal cocktail.

But the man next to me had, there was some discussion about this. He had six sugars in his tea. No. Now, that is an all-time record for me. My mum used to put two sugars in everyone's two that came to the house. Yeah. And she'd ask them then, she said, if you don't have sugar, don't stir it. That was her method.

You had to put them in. But I'd like, if there's any of our readers who have more than six, I'd like to hear from them why they've still got the teeth to speak. Frank, we've had a very strong response to your question about sugars in tea. Mm. See, I've sort of feared that people, don't really have sugar in tea anymore. But is that...

O' contrary, my friend. Absolutely, there's a story. Well, because first of all, you raised it because you'd seen a gentleman putting six sugars in his tea. But it caused quite a stir in the... Oh, lovely material. At the... I got tiled off for calling it at a hotel. At the resort, I was staying.

The golf resort. It sounds very tallby, the resort. Yeah, but there was... like his wife was saying... Oh, you haven't seen how many sugars he has yet, to the White Tricist. You know, she was setting it up for a spectator thing. Well, Jim Mullen says, he tweeted us, when I worked in Tooting Market, you know, I worked there too. A man I knew cut down from eight to seven sugars.

What is the point? That's the day he thought, you know, I'm over. That's like when I went from Sherry for breakfast and then went to Perna for breakfast and thought, this is getting out of hand. I mean, with Sherry, I thought that's fine. It's nutritional. Amanda has texted to say,

morning, Frank, in answer to your question, interestingly, tooth decay is caused by frequency of sugar, not quantity. So it makes no difference if you have one or six spoons of sugar in your tea as far as your teeth are concerned. Is that right? Really? Well, that's open up a whole new...

The sugar floodgates are open. I went to hospital once with a sort of A&E type of thing. And I was actually given, like in Emmerdale when there's a plane crashes or something, I was actually given some hot, sweet tea. Fantastic.

Yeah, I didn't think that really happened. In the age of, you know, this is the 21st century, you get to a major London hospital, let me give you a hot sweet tea. I ordinarily regard sugar in tea, that's strictly for hangovers. That's the only time. Does it work for hangovers?

There'll be a lot of people listening to this who would really like an answer to that. I find that's the one time. Hangovers and shop. Well, Rob says, Rob says after the homeless guy coffee is from a public coffee house. He wanted eight sugars.

I couldn't hide my shock. He said he'd have nine or ten sugars in a famous fast food chain coffee because they're stronger. But that's a man who doesn't often get the chance for sugar and he's basically filling his boots, isn't they? A homeless man on New Street Station once said to me, can I have a bite of your burger?

Did he? What did you say? That's a tricky situation. I was quite pleased with my response. I pause for a moment and probably with a slight shadow of horror across my face and then I broke him a bit off and gave it to it. Oh. Work to treat.

Like the lobes and fishes? Yeah. Who? And that man is now a hairy biker. A few old people, you know. Lower down the ladder, up they call. Gavin York says, My brother uses sugar instead of salt

on all of his savoury meals but thinks that making a cup of tea sweeter is ridiculous. Oh, good use of the word ridiculous. I often do think, though, that we don't mix and match the sweet and savoury enough. Do you think so? You know when Matt Smith first generates... Oh, there we go. How many wants the custard and the fish fingers?

Yeah, fish fingers and custard. Why was that? I think fish fingers and custard. I've never tried it, but I was thinking when they have the 50th anniversary special, I might watch it with fish fingers and custard. I reckon it might work. It doesn't say it sounds quite nice. I like the textures.

I tried tomatoes and custard on a TV show once at a suggestion of, I think, Victoria Corrin. And we both thought it would be horrible. It was actually rather fine. So I'm going to encourage our readers to broaden out a bit and mix the savoury in the sweet. What do you think about that? Go for it.

It's like the rough and the surface. Light and dark. Frank, we've had correspondence from a boffin. This is Phil in Essex. I like our boffin texts. So why? I don't know much about science, I'll find it highly informative. Do you know much about history?

I know a little bit about biology. Well, this is Boffin 583. He says, I was under the impression... I think all boffin should be numbered. Just call boffin 178 and stuff. Boffin 583, I was under the impression that hot tea can only hold a finite amount of sugar in suspension. after about three spoons, the solution...

Oh, great use of solution, five, that three. The solution is saturated, and any more simply sits at the bottom. Is that right? He's not stirring enough. That would make sense, because Adam... Something no one's ever said to me. Adam White has tweeted to say,

I can't remember exactly how many, but I remember my grandpa's teaspoon standing up by itself, which may prove our boffin's theory. His grandfather was Euregela, to be fair. That can't... Well, I... But that sort of suggests it does sit on the bottom, doesn't it? As a sort of spoon.

I think Boffin 1-4-1, whatever is not... 5-8-3. 5-8-3, is suggesting that it'll stop dissolving. Exactly. I don't know. I was hoping he was going to refer to the passage of a solution into a less soluble solution through a semi-permeable membrane. Oh, I love it when you say that.

It's one of the few things I remember from school. That and... Paul Farrell. thing with Mr Ellis that time. Maybe not for here. Carry on. 178 actually has texted us Amanda, who's a dental nurse.

She's a medical boffin. Oh yes. She says, it's true. I'm a dental nurse. I spend a lot of time trying to explain it to patients. When she says it's true, she's referring to the point Steve was making about sugar earlier. Okay, she's not trying to explain the fact that she's a dental nurse. They're going, who are you? I've always thought I'd change. my name by Died Paltar to floss

if I was a dental nurse. Oh, love it. But that's a different point. Okay, so... So next time you're eating a packet of sweets, eat them all in one go, rather than grazing on them. It's much better for your teeth. That's the kind of advice I want from the medical... Exactly. Often, it's all... There's no fun,

but that sounds great. I'm loving Amanda. We'd had a tweet. Someone said, I would recommend at least 20 sugars in a cup of tea regards to the chairman of Tate and Lyle. That's the other side of the equation. To be fair, they put a lot of money back into the arts, Tate and Lyle. Do they? Yeah, well, Mr. Tate was the man of felt at the Tate Gallery.

Yeah, you looked at me as if I'd said something terrible. It's cold Franks, great on days, I don't know days as an stupor. A me days, as in a seven-for-a-weeks, so this is a Tate not a blooper. Instacart makes grocery shopping easier, and just because you're not doing the shopping, and yourself doesn't mean you don't care how it's done. With Instacart Shopper notes, you can get particular about what you want right in the app,

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