The Frank Skinner Show - I Like New Persons

Episode Date: May 15, 2026

Frank and Emily are joined by Josh Weller! Frank's celebrated his wedding anniversary and has been watching the Eurovision semi-finals. There's also chat about the price of a box at the Royal Albert Hall and a podcast about 90-year-olds. We're currently sponsored by BT - behind brilliant things! Search 'Why BT' to find out more or click on the following link: https://www.bt.com/broadband/why-bt Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's Frank Laugh the Radio, Frank Off the podcast, don't you know? Well, I wonder, wonder who wrote the book of love? I don't know. This is Frank Off the Radio. I'm joined by Emily Dean and Joshua is with us today. I'm not normally. Follow the podcast on X and Instagram. It's all right.

It's not all right. You can email the podcast via Frank off the radio. On the WatsamuK.com. On the WhatsApp front, you'll like this, Josh. If you want to talk about sonnets or haiku, so free verse or bullets. If you've ever been giving someone else's award trophy, then you should message 0745-741-77-Sat. Is that AI?

I don't know. Who did that? Is it AI? I'll tell you who did it. Yeah. Joseph Phelan. Oh. It was Joseph Phelan.

Yeah. We asked people to send in jingles for our WhatsApp. Did a listener send that in? Yeah. But Josh has musical experience. Does it? Well, this is what I know of him.

You do, because were you in a band? Oh, sorry. This, I thought this boat was called. John. Who did you think I mean? This Josh, Frank, not Groban. You've got musical experience, though, right? Well, I'm not a mute.

I've had four number one. I've had four number ones. Have you had four? Yes. It's the same song. The two World Cup ones. No, no. They both were number one more than once.

So I've had four. That's been number one on four separate locations. Really? Were they all the 96 one? No, the 98 one was that was also number one. Interesting. I like interesting. I feel like I'm hosting.

in SNL UK. Have you noticed that when the host comes on to that? They say, you'll probably know me from BoJack Horseman. Why do they have to do that? I certainly think they should make them do that. It's terrible. Don't come back and come and give them their CV. I suppose you're wondering if I'm legitimately hosting this.

Well, let me tell you, I was in midsummer murders twice. Yeah, I hate it. So we're not doing that to you, Josh. We love SNL, we should say. We don't hate SNL, we adore SNL. SNL sounds like, I love SNM. It sounds like that. You did love SNM, but you've moved on from that, Frank.

Well, you never completely move off. I can't believe you've had four number ones. Oh, well, why can't you believe that? This is so embarrassing. How many of you had, John? I've had none. Oh, well, there are you. No, no, no, I don't mean it as an insult,

but has anyone ever had four number ones with the same song? No. Yeah. Not with the same. The same song. has been number one, I think, four times, but not song by the same people. Well, I'll tell you what, the power of love

must have been number one, about 50 times. And there's so many songs called the power of love. So many different power of love. There's too many. Frankie, Jennifer Osh. Hughie Lewis. Oh, lovely. And Celine Dion.

You're good on this. Wow, too many powers of love. Which is the best one? It's Celine Dion. Oh, I was going to go Huey Lewis. It's love to the power four. That's what it should have been called. Your favourite power of love, Frank?

I like Frankie a lot. I like Frankie a lot. Of course you do. I like Frankie goes to Hollywood. That would be my third. I don't know the second one that you said. I like Huey Lewis the best. I like the Celine.

Dinkin. Dintin. So good. I was on top of the pops with Celine. With when you were number one? Yeah. What was, do you remember what song that she had? 96.

I don't know what it was. Nik Te Par? Oh, that was good. I remember she and the Beeji. were on the same. Was it, you were my, I don't know, I couldn't be. Oh, I love that one. I don't remember.

Frank, how did you get along with the Bee Gees? They've got a reputation for being a bit tricky sometimes. No, no, I got on a Robin Gibb sent me a Christmas card. I don't remember with a sort of a mystical image on it. I think his wife was, I think she communicated with the crystal world. Oh, did she? Okay, a bit of Corian. Okay.

Here we go. Here's a question for you. I was in Foyles Couldn't remember the name of the... Yeah, big, big famous bookstore in London. Is it national?

I think there's some airport ones. It doesn't affect me. Anyway, it's a massive thing. It doesn't affect me. And my son is currently making his way through the My Hero Academia series, which is 42. books, comic books.

He's just completing volume five, so I thought I'll get him volume six. And I was in files looking at other stuff. And I thought, well, they've got a manga section. And then I thought, no, I can't get it from files. I'm going to go to an independent comic shop. That's lovely, friend. So I went on my way to gosh comics,

I thought to myself, having done this, When I was in the shop, it would have been easier to get it from foils. Can I now at long last on my social media profiles put activist, like other comics do, to give them, you know, a bit of depth? I think they've done less than that after putting activists on their profile. Yeah, some of them, they've watched the first 20 minutes of the inconvenient truth, and then they've put activists on their. Whereas I walked out.

It was in my rearview mirror. It was behind me that book I wanted. I walked out. Anyway, I got to Gosh Comics. And? And fucking got it. I don't think Foils is a chain, though. I think Foils is independent.

Is it? I think so. I think you walked out of an independent bookshop. Oh, I'll probably find that. Gosh Comics is a big multi... Isn't Foils his whole thing? It's probably owned by Jeff Bezos. Gosh, Cog.

Probably. Hey, Frank, you're a fan of Jeff here. You're a fan of gosh. It's a big, it's probably a big drugs front. Oh, no, Frank, you can't say that. Foyles was, oh, it was bought by Waterstones in 2018. So Frank, you did the right thing. I am an activist.

You're an activist. Yes. Yes. All you have to do now is say once in conversation, I actually don't think women are that bad. Then again, as a contest. Well, I'm in baby steps. It's going to be all right. You know, that's the second time this week you've reprimanded me

for suggesting something is a drugs fraud. What else did I get cross? Yes. I met Emily in a clothes shop yesterday. Oh, I hated this, Josh. Well, can you do want to explain? It sounds weird this. It's on my road.

And I said, I've never been in this shop before. The woman said, oh, the woman behind the counter said, why not? And I said, because my wife keeps telling me to front for a drugs organisation. It was so, do you know. And then Kath was saying, I never said that. She lied. She lied. It did say it.

It made me look a liar. But that's because you don't say that to people. You need to keep some things private. I'd gone in with your sister-in-law. It was Josh, this place is very smart. It would be like lying a duty. I'll end up in a chest freezer. It's a pop-up fashion boutique.

near Frank. And I'm going to call it Scandy Sheik. It's kind of, you know, like an attractive Danish woman with a surprisingly large disposable income would go there. And we popped in. And Frank, my heart sunk. I just saw him loom in with his velvet underground t-shirt, which I loved, by the way.

Thank you. It was when I heard you saying, I quinge so hard when this lovely charming blonde woman, you say, is this a drug? Is this a front for a drug? Well, it's best to know. It's a bit like, if I'd walked out of there, I'd have be a double activist. Is it a busy shop?

No, we were the only people in. That's what made the thing. I've never seen anyone in there. I live in, like, near Shortage. Of course you do. And there are so many shops that I'm convinced if you went in and went, what do you sell? They'd go, I don't really know. It's just tat.

Well, the vapes as well are a big front for their drugs. Well, there was a whole panorama thing about shops that are... There was a thing in Birmingham. They're going to a shop and they say, if you got any... If you got any stuff on, do they... Oh, well, we can do ketamine. We've got some ketamine.

Or you can just have the spice if you don't go too far. It was very, very off-front, ridiculously upfront. I like it. They're treating it in a sort of open all-hour's way, the drug transaction. All right there. How are you, Mrs Bannister? No, no, no, no. What would you like some ketamine? Some cur, cur, cur, ketamine.

It would have been in the open all those. Anyway, it was actually my wedding anniversary. And so we were going out for lunch, and we nipped into this shop just to accuse someone of being a drug runner, a perfectly innocent woman. I love that you went for that lunch. It was nice. On the morning, I came downstairs with Slim Whitman on my phone.

You know, Slim Whitman, the country and western singer, had a hit with that happy anniversary. Darling, happy anniversary. Then the studio cat comes in. So I came down. It was quite a hit. You wouldn't think it. It was top 20 UK that.

And it's sort of like having a cruise. Christmas hit, but for all the year own. Because Anna Merce was a constantly... Who sang it? Slim Whitman? Do you know him? No. Was he related to Walt? No.

Or Slim Shady. No. Well, there's a few... I met Slim Galliard, who was a sort of jazz pianist bloke. He was 90-something. He was... Was he?

Biggest hands I've ever seen. He was quite slim. Slim was my nickname at school. Oh, I'm so jealous. Slim pickings, obviously. Yeah. Slim fast, the 80s and 90s weight loss milkshake.

I thought that was a rapper. That's a good rapper's name. That will have a nostalgia comeback soon, won't it? It would be. Well, it has with Huell. I hate Hugh so much. Well, everyone does, darling. I hate anyone who takes it.

Every God-fearing person does. What is it? That's what Stephen, you know, Stephen who does the podcast with the black t-shirts and says, let's talk about mental health. Do you know him? Oh, Stairy of a CEO. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

He co-owns Hule, which is a protein drink. It's like a replacement meal drink. How does he say, U-E-L, like fuel, but fuel. I'm not hoping it was... It's a protein. It's for gamers as well, because they get so addicted to the games that they forget to eat and they get ill. So if they have a hule shake, at least they're getting protein and carbs and things.

because then they can go back to the game. I remember being in a pub in Smedic in the 80s and saying to a bloke, oh God, I've been drinking for like three days. I've hardly had anything to eat. He said, it's on eglottons what ate and drink. Fabulous advice. He said, beer's a sort of a food.

How long did he live? He must have been getting on a bit. He looked like he was getting on. He's probably something. 35. It's an urban, like, myth, isn't it? That you can, is it one tomato and 10 guineas a day or something? Is that right?

And you can live a, you have to drink 10 guineas a day. I've tried none. Watch at my uncle, I don't drink, and I tried non-alcoholic Guinness for the first time. That was a revelation. Did you enjoy it? Oh, I love it. It's my new tipple now. I went out with a woman who called me Scrawny quite often and said I needed building up.

And she would put a half pint of Guinness in a glass and then in a pint glass and then top it up with condensed milk. And then I had to drink that to build me up. The problem was I'd drunk here. I didn't eat for two days after it was so totally filling. Did it cause problems on the way out? Not that I remember. It's a horrible thought.

I love that she thought that was going to build you up. That's like, do you remember when I told you when my sister's cleaner said to her, right, you're going to have to start her in tea soon. She said, oh, she's less than a year old. I don't want to give the baby tea. She said, you've got to do it now. She'll never get a taste for it.

I think that's wise words. So, Josh, we should say, I'll be completely honest. I was not familiar with your work. And then someone at my management company said, you should get Josh Welch, well, on your podcast. He's good. And I said, oh, I can't be bothered. to look him up, just hiring.

Here we are. Yeah, but it's a lot, isn't it, having to talk to a new person. I don't mind. I don't quite like new persons. Really? Yeah, because it's the one's up for a while. I find hard work. Because really, I've run over their minds two or three times. Like when they Mo Wembley.

Yes. I've got the fine crosswork done. You're fresh meat. I struggle with it as not now to meet new people, to go out. Do you? And socialise. I can't do anything. I just, I just, I don't want, I just want, I just want, I just want, I just want, I just want, I just want, I don't want, I just want to be on my sofa.

Mm-hmm. I understand that. Do you live alone? I live with my girlfriend. Oh, okay. But she's, you know, she's the person that likes me the least, probably. Hmm. That can happen, I know.

Also, she calls me scorny as well. Do you sigh away Sundays? That's the line. It's different. See, much you do about nothing. About the married man who sighs away Sundays. Oh, God. I do like your waistcoat, may I say.

It's a cardigan vest. Okay, lovely. Thanks. It's new, so thank you. When we arrived today, I arrived first, and then Emily arrived, and we were sitting chatting. There's a sort of a terrace here, I'd call it, a bit like an amphitheatre. We're at So-O radio today, not at Spiritland. It's got that modern sort of quite trendy, we-work seating structure.

Yeah. So Emily was saying, I said, do you think Josh will be on time? I said they're always late. The young. I read an article that said, 10 minutes late doesn't count as late for a millennial.

Anyway, he was already there sitting at the site. He was there. I'd Googled you, obviously. And you didn't have a moustache on any of the pictures. No, it's new. And then suddenly you got, but as I'm pointing out, you were reading Nigel Mansell.

autobiography. Was it autobiography? Autobiography? And I think that if I can see how Mansell might lead you in to that. It was, it's a coincidence. I grew a beard earlier this year because I got, I was acting in a thing and I was playing a husband. And they were like, could you grow a bit? And then I went into the...

You weren't reading the ZZ top. And on the day of the shoot, they were like, actually it looks terrible. Can you shave it? Did they make you shave it all? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is fair. It did look bad. Are we allowed to know what the thing?

thing was or would you rather not say? I don't think I can say. Okay fine. But it's, I mean, I'm in it. Firstly, they'll probably edit me out. Secondly, I'm in it one episode for about 20 seconds. So I'll be surprised if I make the cut. But yeah, I love Nigel Mansell. You know how I'm about four pages in and he's already broken his neck and back. And he's not even in an F1 car yet. Is it just the first chapter just him falling downstairs? Not actually at the end of the stairs yet. He's only half-way down. I did say to Frank as well,

because I did, I mean, be honest, did you hear any of our conversation? I'd like you to be honest. I genuinely didn't even see. We hadn't, because we hadn't said anything bad. No, I did say, though, full disclosure, I did say when I saw Weller, I assumed I did Google. Because you thought I was Paul Weller's son.

Well, I wanted to find out, and I did Google Paul Weller children. He could have been the son of Keith Weller, the former Mill War midfielder. He didn't come instantly to mine, funnily enough. But I did Google Paul Weller slash children, plus children. So I do know all Paul Weller's children. Do people ask? Am I one of them?

No, I can exclusively reveal you or not. Well, I think my career would have been a lot easier if I was. But I think people do it a lot. I imagine Paul Weller would battle against nepotism. Yeah, he wouldn't like it. He'd be a bit body shop. What was he called? It wouldn't leave the kids any money.

It was a body shop woman. And it's erotic. And also there are a few like that actually. Schwarzenegger, wasn't he one of them? Oh, is he that don't leave the kids money ones? Yeah, and then he's... No, he seems a bit capitalist and reckless with money. Well, he put a timer on his shower so the kids can only get five minutes of hot water.

Oh, God, that's what... Thames Water gave me an egg timer to put in my shower. They've done a Schwarzenegger on you. Yeah. Like three weeks ago. What? Yeah, I know. Very medieval.

Bloody egg timer. So, so as I understand it, you're a musician. I tried to be a music. I had a record do when I was a kid. You were in the Kenneths,

weren't you? Are you half of it? Yeah. You had a record deal when you were a kid? Well, I know that the only song, and there might be two, there was a Kenneth song

that was called, I think, Kenneth. How the fuck, do you know that? It's gone a bit aggressive. Is this just research that you... No, no. You're the only person that's ever known one of our songs. Genuinely.

Oh. But if you call a song that's the... It's like divo being called... Doing a song called Devo. I'm sorry, I don't know who that. What was the band then? Or Aunt Music, I suppose. Oh, yeah.

Is it called The Kenneth? Yeah. We were called The Kenneth. Wait, did you have... Did Devo have a song called Devo? Yeah. Yeah. And it's the...

And Living in a Box. And Adam of the Ants had a song called Ant Music. There must be a whole collection. Yeah, a lot of punk bands do it. Living in a box were called Living in a Box. In fact, last night on Eurovision, I'm trying to remember where they were from now. But let's say they were from Montenegro.

The song was Montenegro, it wasn't Montenegro. But it was shouting the name of the country over and over in case you didn't get it. How far into the Eurovisions are we? First semi-final. So five of the... gone already, including

Boy George. That was mortificado. He sung for San Marino. I'm not going to say... You say he sang. He came on for 27 seconds. I mean, he was... There was a, like, a thing at the bat that looked like,

you know those toilets you get on trains where they open in a big slow curve? I hate those. Yeah. That's what they're saying. There was a silver one of those at the bat. And my kid said, I bet Boy George is in that thing. I said, no, they wouldn't put him in there in the toilet.

Not after he's been in prison. He'd have to be very triggering for him. He couldn't even be bothered to walk for his supper. And then he was... He was on a throne like Oz's farewell game. The door came back and he was sat down. He was sat down on a throne. Couldn't even be bothered to walk for his 27 seconds.

And he sang an octave lower than he sang in his glory years. And also bless him, he sung something which was a bit inappropriate for a 64-year-old. He said, oh, the guy's in the club. Drink it. Oh, no, not in the club, love. I only found out before this that you can enter the Eurovision if you're not from the country. The country, yeah. That's the Eurovision's song contest, not singer. So I think that the writers of the song have to be from that country.

Oh, is that right? Okay. So, Abba, they won it. Yeah. For Sweden. For Sweden. Yes. And they're from Sweden. Correct.

Right. Gina G. You're getting the idea. Yes. which is, in my opinion, the best song England ever had. Just a little bit. Just a little bit more. No, come on.

What was the best, top that? I'd say, top it on a string by Sandy Shaw. Well, I have to say, like... Before your time, I'm going. What was Cliff Richards one? Well, there was two. There was two. He did it twice.

Yeah, congratulations was one. I don't remember. I'm biased as Frank knows because my godmother, God rest her. Oh, yes, that's true. famously for the UK. She was called Lindsay DePaul and her song Frank, do you remember it? It was called?

Was it, what are we? Rock bottom. Very good. It's called Rock bottom. Rock bottom. So I'm biased. I think Lindsay's was the best ever entry. I think that's fair enough.

Yes. I mean, it's not that the UK is not my favourite. No. Although you know who else I do love. Sam, Sam Ryder. Space man. Oh yeah. My mate wrote that song.

Is that right? Yeah, that was my friend Mac. wrote that Max Wolfgang, who wrote a lot of Olivia Dien's Oh, wow. I think a lot of the new league is. He must be rolling it in if he's writing for Olivia Dean.

Oh, Frank, that's a bit crass. Stick with him, stick with him. No, it's probably why he doesn't hang out with it anymore. Oh, man. Wow, he's landing on his feet. I felt for Boy George, though, guys, last night. Did you not?

Well, look, he was in it for the money, surely. He got paid. What do you think he got paid? Back in the toilet. A lot of money. Frank, don't say back in the toilet. It's so rude.

What do you think he got paid? Oh, I don't know. What's the currency in San Marino? Have they got the Euro? San Marino, I think. All I remember about San Marino. I remember the England game. Do you know that? Yeah. But that's all,

they've got the same population as Her and Bay. I'm still confused. So all the songs that you saw on the telly last night aren't the songs that are going to be on in the room. No, no. Yes. There were 15 songs. Yeah. Only 10 make it through to the grand final on Saturday night. When did they start airing the court, like a football tournament? Well, what happens is that the big four,

are you the people paying for this God Am competition, which is us, Frank, and three others. I can't remember, you'll know. Yeah, it's three other nations. Germany. The Big Four. I can't remember. We go through automatically on account of corruption, essentially,

and bribery. We pay for it. Everyone else has to sign, fight it out. Okay. Okay. So everyone competes, but only 10 make it to the final. Correct. No, 20 make it to the final because there's two semi-finals.

So 10 from Tuesday night and then 10 from Thursday night. I thought that the whole contest to get in it was just that was like a thing they did in Sweden. I didn't realize that this was a change. It doesn't have to be in Sweden. It's changed. So it's gotten, it's like. I see why it's changed, I think. And there's a lot of more countries.

I think the Soviet Union really. put a spanner in the works where that's split off. They ruined everything. Because suddenly there was like one country. It just used to be Russian before. It was right. It was the USSR. That was so much easier, wasn't it? It was quicker.

I think people were oppressed. As an activist, I don't feel I can let this pass. Well, it's a... But the good thing about it is that the tumble is that having the semifinals is a lot of the shit game. edited out, they don't get through. And that's why it's a good reason for watching

the semifinals. You get some real old-fashioned, like... And is it the host country that shows Yes. Austria. When you say none of the shit gets through, but the Lithuanian in the Silver Mask got through. Yeah, well, Louisville, you want to better that in the final. Let's not call it shit.

Let's call it difference. All right, activist. Exactly. We acknowledge, we accept shit. No difference. We're inclusive to bad music. Oh, so, but you're involved in comic books in some way, Josh. Am I right?

I wrote a comic book for college humour who went broke the year after they released it. Okay. What was it? It was called Die Already. And it was about a guy who didn't want to live anymore. And he was a drunk and an addict. And he, while he was high, put a hit on himself but didn't remember doing it when he sobered up.

So it's all these people trying to kill him and him trying to figure out how. And I think about 12 people read it. Okay. Yeah. But that was my first paid comedy work. That's great, though. Great to have written a comic book. It was really fun, yeah.

I'd love to write a comic book. What would yours be about? It would have to be like a superhero thing. I want to go absolutely. I like brains in jars as well in things. generally. Do you ever see that film with Hitler's head in a jar?

No, what is it? It's called something like we've got Hitler's head and they're in a cab and I remember he's going Maxnell! Maxill! But we like a bit of a

Babbling because he's in formaldehyde. Did you see the documentary? I don't think they have that on Channel 5 and that's my favourite channel as you know. Oh, yes. Did you see the Channel 4 documentary about him recent about Hitler?

No. about his... Now, I'm not one of those old men who watched bloody Hitler on the telly all the time. They... When he... They love...

They love it. The blood on the sofa, a soldier cut out a swatch of the blood and some scientists analyzed... Was this in the bunker? It was... It must have been, yeah.

Oh, this is the final moment. Yeah, which he had like a shes-long in the bunker as well, like a nice... I thought he burnt to death. No, they burnt in him afterwards, so there wouldn't be a grave. Can we just establish?

When did Blondie... get taken out? I think Hitler killed Blondie. She took a pill. They got married. No, that's the dog. Blondie's a dog. No, no. Blondie's the dog.

Blondie were a progressive punk band in the late 70s. Blondie is Hitler's dog. Is that who the band is named after? Yes. No, I don't think so. Of course it is. It's punks. They do weird things.

I know, but I think it's because the lead single's blonde. Oh, okay, maybe. But anyway, Blondie, I just want to know at what stage. gone first. What's Blondie she mainly dealt with? If I'm going to shoot myself, I don't want the dog alive trapped in a... You know, how that's going to end off.

Especially in Alsatian. They've got a hyper-a drive. You know, they get hungry. Well, you know. It's not the worst thing that happened in the war, let's be honest. No. But I just do... I don't care about him.

Who, Blondie? About blondeo. I'm not thinking of all. He's not my favourite. Poor man. I do care about Blondie. He didn't know. He got born, he was not his...

Was he a he? Oh, good point. We need to get the pronouns right of Blondie. But Blondie didn't have any choice to be a member of that family. They had no choice. Like all the dogs in the war. Yeah. They had no choice.

Simple as that. They analysed his blood and he had something called Coolman syndrome. And one of the symptoms of coolman syndrome is that you have a micro penis. So the whole documentary, four parts, an hour on each. was about that Hitler had a very small penis. That's what I took away from a four hour long. I mean, let's not speak ill of the day. Is that the best use of a scientist's time?

No, exactly. It really gets on my nerves. We've still got major diseases that need to be cured. And it'll say a new survey says, this is the record most people listen to when they're having said. Well, you could have been doing something really worthwhile with that time and money. Didn't he have one testicle as well? Oh, leave the man alone.

Sorry, can we just take that as the trailer? Frank Skinner on Hitler. Oh, leave the man alone. Well, you know, he's done his time. Oh, my God. Again, can we please clip that? It's not true that one of them is in the Albert Hall. No, I didn't think that was right.

It was just a good rhyme. They're so careful with it. the Albert Hall, they wouldn't allow it. Yeah. I saw my bloody Valentine the other week at the Alba Hall. That's no way to speak about Cass. You had a lovely anniversary hunt.

They had to slightly take down their usual volume because they were worried about the masonry. Really? Yeah. All the boxes in the Albert Hall are owned privately as property. I know somebody who's got one. They cost like seven million quid to buy a box.

I used to do a program called Fantasy Football and there's a bloke and it called Stato. Yeah, did he own one? He owned one, because his dad was a conductor, so he... Train or music? Music, surely. Yeah, music. That must have been worth it.

How much are they worth of? So James Lachran was his name. Right. And he was quite a famous conductor, so he got a box, yeah. Well, we all do in the end. Oh, my God. Miles will accept it. Anyway, have we heard from Alfresco Mond?

We have. I've also found out, yeah, you're right, approximately 2.5 to 3 million. Oh, I was way off. I said 7. But that's a lot of money. So when they built, they didn't have the money. For a box. To buy a box at the Albert Hall. Wow. 2.5 to 3 million. I bet you can't buy one. I bet nobody sells them.

Yeah. I don't think they're on Stubhub. No. It was when they couldn't afford to build the hall. If I bought one, because could I live in there? Could I legally live in there if I own the box? Can you imagine the cleaners in the morning? Imagine like last.

The problems and they think, look at the flags. They're not flags. They're actually underwear on a clothesline. If you live there. Well, you own it. Yeah, I own the box. You've got a 99-year lease, for God's sake.

Is that what you get? Yeah. Wow. Oh, it's not, it's freehold. It's leasehold because 999 year lease. Leasehold is when you don't own it forever. Oh, yeah. No way, I don't.

So you don't own that forever if it's only 990 years. So 2.4 billion for 99 years. 2.5 to 3 million. But you can make that back. He's easy. Easily. Right? I'm going to see Paul Simon tonight.

Right. And the resale ticket was so expensive. And the boxes was, it was four grand a ticket. At the Albert Hall, you say? It was four grand a ticket for a box to see Paul Simon tonight. I read a review that suggested his voice was not what it was. Yeah, I think it's... What do people expect?

He's 80, 85, 82? I saw, uh, last week, I saw, uh, Jethro Tom. Oh, I. How are they? I thought they were brilliant. Now his voice is not as it was. What's his name? Ian.

Ian Anderson. That's it. But he's there. His genius shone through. That's what I'm saying. Just saying. Is there no one in Jethro Toll called? No.

Jethro Toll was a... He invented something like... Was he something like... Was he something to do with the Peasants' Revolt? No. He was part of the... What, Tyler? He was a leading...

agricultural sort of inventor. I can't remember. It's something like the spinning wheel. No, no, he was pro. He was pro tech. Yes, that's it. He was the Jeff Bezos of the agricultural age. I wonder if he owns a box, kind of thing he'd do.

He probably owns a box with seeds in it. Where did you see them? The Palladium. And they could still play? Great. I mean, there's only Ian left. from the original line up. But, you know, who cares?

That's what they say. That's all you want. That's what they say about three lines. No, it was brilliant. You know, there's some songs they did, and I just thought, do they do. Living in the past, Frank? They did live in my top five.

I once walked through the streets of Berlin with the now Celtic manager, Martin O'Neill of singing living in the past together as a duo. Up here and I'm smiling. Frank. Miles to drink your water. Go on. Do you want to hear from Rissab,

who's a devoted listener? Yes. Dear Frank Emily and Mystery Guest, in a recent episode, you mentioned your feelings about podcasters in their advanced years. I think these might have been

slightly negative feelings, being self-deprecating, as you will. I saw some old people coming out of a podcast and I just thought, mind your own business. That's what happened. Josh, I'll be straight with them.

And then I thought, oh God, they're probably younger than me. Yeah, and then we Google who they were. Right. And I think we found out it was a political man or something.

Yeah, political man. Sir John Tusser, a former BBC journalist. Oh yeah, I've heard of him. Has recently started a wonderful podcast called The Best Is Yet to Come on his 90th birthday. Fantastic. On this podcast,

he exclusively interviews people in their 90s. Wow. Who have all made important contributions to her field. That's brilliant. Looking forward to many more decades of Frank off the radio. So that's quite good. People in their 90s, but I'm just going to say being a guest booker.

Imagine having to book that. Look, I don't want to be indelicate. Oh, imagine. On the phone. Hello! All right. Oh, man. That would be a nightmare. Also, can you imagine how... Imagine the amount of jam he must get. They bring in us a gift.

Frank, also, can you imagine the amount of times the guest booker says I was wondering, oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't know. I'm so sorry. I'd be terrible. I mean, I presume you're booking people for that afternoon. Yeah, you can't take the risk. No, you can't look three weeks in advance. Oh, man, that's ridiculously optimistic.

People don't book me. Not far in advance anymore. But that's tough as well. What if you're 87? I'm so sorry. You don't make the grade if you're 87. You don't make the lead grade. I mean, is he that strict?

You have to be 90. Tootas, it didn't get where he is by not being strict. He's a man of standards. How many people in the UK are over 90? Well, over 100 is something like... 20? No, no, 30,000. Oh, that's a lot more than I would have thought.

Yeah, there's about 9,000 new centurions... Per year in the UK. Do you think you'll make it? Do you want to make it? This has gone to be dark. It has got a bit dark. Why is it so dark? I don't think I will.

I'm not a betting man. No, okay. Dick Van Dyke is 100. He could do it. He's too off. He's going out at the other end. Dick Van Dyke actually missed his fucking window on John Choos. The best is yet to come.

Yeah, exactly. Poor Vic Van Dyke. He's coming on. You'll come on and say it isn't. Can I just say it isn't? The night's a living nightmare. On the other hand, Michael Kane still all everything to play for at 93.

And Joan Collins, 92. Yeah. I bet John Chaucer had to open the bottle of champagne when the assisted dime bill collapsed. Anyway, look, the next episode of Frank Skinner's radio days is out on Saturday. We're in 2013. This time we're talking about Prince Harry going to Nando's. That was his first spot before California.

Didn't work out at Nando. apparently. It's the Frank Skinner podcast. A new winter change is blowing. It's the Frank Skinner podcast. I'm not totally sure how it's going. Thanks for listening to the podcast. Make sure to like and follow so you never miss an episode. And if you want to get in touch, you can email the podcast via Frank off the radio at Avalonuk.com.