Brendan Schaub's Empire is SLOWLY COMING BACK | 10 Minutes of Schaub #168
00:00 Cooney, Cooney, loser, bold guy. They're just not good this year? It's a microphone. Welcome back to Tim and Sashap. Thanks for tuning in. As always, join the Patreon, join the Reddit, join the Discord. This week on Patreon, when it comes out, it will be Calbellulations. A second episode of Calbellulations.
01:54 Also, we watch Whitney Cummings, Andrew Schultz recently, and Trevor Noah. Yeah. Trevor Noah had some stuff to say about what's going on in the comedian Civil War. It was before Joe Rogan and Andrew Schultz went off if you pay attention to too late to try. But anyways, that is not why they're here, right? No, there's not why they're here. I need you to keep talking about. They are here, too. Watch 10 minutes of shop, so start the timer. Joke. Don't start the timer because I'm still talking to guys. How's everybody doing in the chat?
02:27 God damn it Is it fucking up No but keep talking about Andrew Schulte Did you see that too lazy To drive video yet? I did I watched the too lazy
02:36 Well I listened to it While I was driving today And Man those guys are snakes Dude They're fucking like Shit like Schultz When he's trying to throw
02:48 Santino under the bus Yeah And then Santino is Probably just as big a snake They're all just a fucking Denn of snakes You know Like slits
02:57 the ring. You know? You know how a snake does? Like, fucking, I'm a fucking snake. Just fucking, I'm doing Callin right now. Yeah. You can start the timer. I think we're good.
03:08 Okay, you guys ready? So start the timer. I'm sure the chat's going to let us know if anything's wrong and not, you know. Play the chin clip. Take advantage of 10 minutes of shot. Sorry. Sorry. Yeah.
03:19 Um, let's see here. So we already did this one, I think. I think. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
03:27 We did that one too. It's been three weeks since we went through the Reddit. So we've got Cranberry or Crockberry juice posted this one. It's called Bapa if they offered him $350 in a Zintin. I'm like, it's halal, bitch. I think we've almost talked about that, like Bapa talking about different cuisines. You know? So that's good.
03:52 I like that. Halal, bitch. It's kosher, bitch. What else are there being? I don't know. That's probably the two main ones. Yeah, I can't think of anything else that's like food, a food thing that you have to follow, besides kosher and halal.
04:07 He gets caught cheating and it's like, it's Haram, bitch. There, yeah, that's good. What else is there? Let's see. It's, I mean, now I'm just thinking about different. It's Ethiopian, bitch. But that's just because I live in where I live. MSG poppy.
04:27 Oh, yeah. Okay. It's Chinese food, bitch. We do have rain in front of us and inside of us. So people are asking where the rain at. Y'all see any unique? A.I. of Bapa in Riyadh. Is that unique?
04:40 I did see that. But I don't know how he got it. Yeah, no, I don't watch much unique. Where's the rain right here, Daddy? Oh, yeah. Straight to the veins, dude. Yeah, dude. I wish I could inject it.
04:51 I wish I had a needle. Thank you, Marvin Marino for the happy birthday. Oh, yeah. Let's get some happy birthdays in the chat for this guy. facts dude 35 years old somebody called me 40 today which I don't appreciate very nice Gerardo has been editing all day long like a fucking champion to get out the calbeulations video it's pretty fun I like the breaking news that I'm seeing here I want to take a step into the brewer's real quick oh sure the burnerverse yeah you know you know all
05:21 about it so you probably already know before I did dude it's funny how God works Mark slams Joe Rogan and Theobon Brewers. Hmm. I don't know how I feel about that. It's I'm definitely interested but it's 33 minutes and he's standing while talking. He's Colin Coward. ESPN host breaks it down. So I come back here and I'm seeing all these messages. I don't know how it started getting in my feed but I'd see it sounds like funny how God works. And then some other comedians
05:55 trashing Joe Rogan Trashing Seo Vaughan Cio Trashing other podcasters And I went
06:13 What are we doing here? Sorry He's like Pat McAfee If he was redacted as hell Yeah Great call Fuck you, Tuna This is absolutely
06:28 McAfee, dude Go blue jakes. Oh shit, World Series. Oh, hell no. Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, I mean, he's, and he's got the golf shirt on. He's walking around.
06:38 He should have people. He should have gas on. He should have Burt. Where's the both being this together? What is going on? And then I took a good look at who it was, and I know this player very well. Very well.
06:56 And this is where, to me, me this is a, this is like a lesson of society. Whoa. Oh, my God. Like, so comedians. Whoa. Me. Oh, my God, I got so much to say about this.
07:11 I'm going to start with the gut. So, you know what, play this video because I started looking at it because I would get. Are you going to pause for a second? I think this is crazy as hell. I'm worried now that comedians are going to actually get hurt. There's weird videos of, look at that face. scary. There's weird videos now where he's doing
07:34 some sort of Kim Jong-un thing for Rogan. Yeah. I know who did it. I won't say. I won't say who it. Like, it's one guy. They won't say his name. Like, leave Santino alone. He might be a two-faced snake bitch. He's not talking about him. Oh, who's he talking about? Charles? I'm Mark Merritt.
07:52 Oh, Marin. Oh, man. Look at the graves flaring up. Yeah. Or even Marin. I mean, all look, don't forget all this is very entertaining at the end of the day. Whatever side you're on, it is fun to hear people talk shit about each other. Okay, don't forget that.
08:09 We like this. Happy birthday jadu. Party popper emoji. Party popper emoji. Party popper emoji. Thank you, James Freeman. I think it is. What a great guy. Yeah, it's got to be Freeman. Gotta be the Freeman. Yeah, it is insane. How many people are misspelling my name on my birthday?
08:27 Look at this. Kurto. He's got... He's got the fucking dolphin tank in the back, dude. Oh, shit. I wonder, yeah, can it make noises, though? Let's see. This really personally bothered me, and I'm going to get into why this bothers me.
08:42 But I got to say, this guy, Andrew Schultz. Andrew. Androl. He's completely sober, but he's still falling apart somehow. Yeah. I don't care if you know him. I don't care if you think he's funny. I don't care if you think he's entertaining.
09:00 But in my opinion, he summed it up perfectly. And this isn't just about a comedian. This is about our society. Oh, yeah, right. I always want comedy to be more important than it is. Yeah. This is not everything, actually. I'm talking about the entire thing right now.
09:19 This is about Formula One. He just names off it. It's everything, okay? Society, the NFL, Google. He turns into content. Netflix. Walt Disney Hulu
09:32 All right Let's go to The We'll go back and forth From the Brewerverse To the Papaverse Yeah This one's posted by
09:41 Macho BizDunk Wrestler I don't know what that means It's called the end game Question mark The perfect ending to this Is Tom buying out Bert to get rid of him
09:52 And Bert ending up on TFA K with shop After Calland Ditchism Wow And then it's him Jacking off In a VR headstander it. And I wasn't making a joke.
10:02 Whoa. Is that what? Oh, man. They're looking at porn in VR. On the podcast? Yeah. Oh, man. That's, that is not good. I don't like that. Yeah. Yeah. And that is an old thing. VR porn. That was around 2019. Yeah. That's a long. Why, why now? Get me in the Gerardoverse.
10:23 It's a little boomer-ish. Do that almost. Why have, all right. Let's see this one. I don't think we saw this yet. Have you heard about this? Well, one question before about the bird thing. If your dad was doing a podcast, you turn it on and he's got VR headset on watching porn, like either of our dads. Oh, hell no. That'd be insane.
10:46 That'd be more embarrassing than if we had kids and they turn on and we're doing shop stuff. For sure, it would be. And that's embarrassing. Yeah, we've not watched porn on this before. Yeah. So we have watched porn on this before. Where? Twice.
10:59 By accident. Sharpies in the NASS and then I accidentally looked up sex. Accidents were on both of us. Accidents being the key thing. We didn't go looking for Sharpies and butts. We just happened to find him because of someone else on the pod. I'm sorry. Have I seen this?
11:15 No, I haven't. Andrew Callahan talking about when he went to the... Oh, yeah. No. Once again, I say no, and the answer is actually yes. This is posted by Navjot Jill 01. How much time does Bapa Rogan have until he gets consumed? by his own ego. Let's see.
11:32 Haven't you been on the Joe Rogan experience? Well, there could be two reasons for that. One, which is probably most likely, is that I'm not popular, famous, and influential enough to be on JRE. Two, could be related to a little green room spat that I had with Mr. Joe Rogan at his comedy club in Austin, Texas.
11:50 I was in Austin doing a couple different podcasts. The first podcast was Lex Friedman, and then the following day after that, it did be a Matt and Shane secret podcast. And unfortunately, Matt was out of town, but the homie Lemaire Lee, shout to my boy, was there replacing Matt for that day. So that night after the podcast, Shane had a set at the Mothership Comedy Club. So he invited me and in between sets, I'm chilling at the bar downstairs. And I'm getting lightweight blown up by fans, which is fine.
12:17 You know, I love fans. It was chill, but I was kind of like in a more relaxed tight space. I wanted to just doze off, you know, listen to comedy chill. And so I told Lamer, I'm like, yo, can I go upstairs to the green room? I'm trying to, you know, kick back and, you know, lay low for a bit. He's like, man, I can take you there. But just so you know, Joe Rogan's a bit territorial about that green room. Like, so it's at your own risk.
12:38 And I'm like, dude, no way, it's going to be fine. Joe Rogan's reacted to like seven of my videos because Jamie always plays them. So I'm like, it's going to be chill. So me and LaMere take the elevator up to the secret green room at the mothership. What do you think about that? Well, here's the thing, Dan. Secret elevator. Oh, shit.
12:54 No, I miss that. You see, you know me so well. That's what I was asking you about. You know me so well. I didn't hear that. Secret elevator, that's, I mean, I didn't know it came to that. But apparently it's needed because we got people
13:06 that think they're part of the 250 that aren't. Okay, Andrew Callahan. I respected you before this. Wow. And afterwards, I don't know. I don't know. What were you going to say before you're? Oh, just that.
13:18 Pretty much that. Oh, okay. I mean, look, you don't, you don't belong in the green room. That's not for civilians, okay? It's for the fucking 250 that, you know, entertain the world and the where the woke means the wall if they let everybody in if they let everyone in then it's not then the wall comes gets in the wall is there specifically to be met to be met
13:40 by comedians who have the best jokes ever okay who who have been through the trenches murderers killers david lucas is a prime example of that you know like he he's got some great jokes about al's landing on arms and movies not nobody's talking about it and they're Yeah, he's fire. Savage. Andrew, you're 10 toes down most of the time, but this time it looks like maybe four. If your toes are missing. Five comedians in there, all in their mid-20s.
14:09 Everybody recognizes me except for Joe Rogan. So everybody's dapping me up. Lamar says, hey, Joe, it's my homie, Andrew. Shake Joe Rogan's hand. I put some popcorn in the microwave, which I felt like was establishing myself as a member of the green room. And then I turn around and I see Joe Rogan, like, yelling at this. Don't touch another man's popcorn, dude. I don't care if you're a Jeno.
14:29 You don't touch people's popcorn dogs. They start acting like soccer hooligans in the green room. What's the Jerno doing here? Jano. You fucking, wow, do you. Man, you fool is going to win this year. West Ham has it this year, Janow. You're a con.
14:48 Don't say that. God damn. Sorry. And he's yelling, who let this fucking journalist in here? Kick him the fuck out. I can hear Joe saying this. I guess somebody told him that I was like a journalist, so he maybe thought that I was a Daily Beast reporter
15:01 that had snaked my way into his safe space to ask him about Ivermectin, which is a valid concern. So before I could even get kicked out, I was like, Lamar, I got to get out of here. And I walked down the stairs and went back into general population. I'm obviously kidding, but I do think that if you want my serious opinion, which is not funny, I do think it's a little weird that he was that familiar with it.
15:22 I would be like kind of, I would be like, Should I go to that? Familiar with what? Like the green room, like, oh yeah, let me get up there and let me use your microwave and do your secret thing. I'd be like, am I supposed to be there? But maybe that's just because I'm a bitch. What do you think about the secret elevator?
15:38 Do you have an opinion about that? Secret elevator seems weird to have an elevator. I don't know. Gordo's so true. What is that about? Oh, shit. What up? My cousin's in here.
15:47 Where's Gordo at? Nice. How did my cousin find this shit? Is that the guy that crossed back into the U.S. border illegally? where is gordon oh big tough guy Joe couldn't kick him out himself what a bitch yep yeah you know what a secret not to throw not to throw any aspersions or whatever I hope I said it wrong to be honest spursions but whatever it is but um it does kind of sound like one of those things where someone gets canceled and then they the news goes and they had a secret elevator you know kind of like the door
16:21 that closes that Matt Lauer had I wouldn't want that I don't think granted it might be some of Callahan's figurative language at play here. Maybe it's not secret. Maybe there's like neon signs saying green room elevator, green room elevator. And you have to know like a secret code six, six, six, six, six, you know, to get up there. Daddy's number. Yeah. Daddy's number. No, daddy's number. Oh, yeah. Right, right. What, um, I've, you know one thing I've thought about because at my office, I've thought about a, not that I would ever do this, but a trap door. Mm-hmm. That'd be tight. Or a tunnel out. Mm-hmm. That might be less weird than having a secret elevator. I'm a, I'm a child
16:54 dude. I'm more of the bookcase kind of guy. Oh, yeah. Pull the metal book and then like the it makes a lot of noise. Yeah, the thing opens, right? Yeah. Yeah, they have that at a hotel fig. There's a room where you pull out a book in it. Is there a green room back there? It should be.
17:10 It's what I'm saying. You've got to get on the phone with them right now. So guess what? They don't have it at Hotel Figue. No, that's great. You know, maybe we're looking at this a wrong way. If we were to own a comedy club, absolutely. there should be like at least the book thing. Yeah.
17:25 And if it's a secret elevator, what are you doing? Tell me everyone about it, dude. Yeah, now Callan told everybody. That's why you're not up there, journal. This is why Joe Rogan didn't want you in the room, you civilian. Pause. I don't know what my cousin's trying to say about you, dude. Cesar, the Caesar Z with a weird fucking looking apocalyptic profile picture.
17:46 I think he's right. It does kind of look like I'm drinking a beer. It's probably from, you know, years of doing this with a beer. he's not wrong I don't know what's happening with the comments I feel like they can't hear us now we're gonna see a bunch of I can't hear your comments
18:02 we already saw this one we already saw this one oh my god have you seen this one yeah yeah this one's funny do you're getting oh shit I know I know I know I'm gonna change it now to yeah actually no I haven't seen
18:16 this was part of the downfall right when he was like I'm going through something And then he asked this woman and she's like, not a chance. She hot chipped him. Lynch 47. If you wanted to hurt me, you got me, brother. Let's see what this is all about.
18:32 Guys are ready for your second round of picks. So go ahead. Right up there. I'm already gone. You're already going. See you later. I'll see you again. No, I hope not.
18:44 Where are you going to say? hilarious for her to say, I hope not. Yeah. It could just be a bit where she's going. I hope not trying to be funny because he's with a comedian. She was like, I'm going to make a joke. Yeah.
18:56 Or to him, here's, I'm going to get into his psyche. Go for it. I'm going to go deep. Go for it. I'm thinking that he's already kind of, he's depressed about the Trump stuff. Mm-hmm. And he's in his head. So when she goes, hopefully not sooner, or hopefully not, he thinks, oh, fuck, it's another.
19:16 I fuck myself. Now people are just going to be mean to me because I had Trump on. Yeah. I think that might be what he's thinking. Yeah. Everyone hates me. I actually had an answer to this and I refrained from saying it. But what's your guys is named for your hypothetical comedy club?
19:33 You already know what it is for mine. What would you say? I forget what you said. You told me a while a while ago. Hawks. Hawks. Oh, yeah. That's a good.
19:42 That's good. Yeah. Oh, this isn't a net. There's multiple people asking and my cousin's asking, you know, by blood I have to answer. That's one of the best comedians of all time. You really should educate yourself on that. Was your cousin asked? My cousin asked, yeah.
19:58 She's the best that's ever done it. Yeah. Besides shot. Paul C., shout out to you. At Caesar said, did you lose a lot of sharpies growing up? Was you deliver around when they went missing? That's not how you spell my name, but maybe. That's funny.
20:13 Don't answer Caesar. Let's see here. Posted by Air Pumper. Random listener buys a thick boy hat. Who wins $10,000 and a new truck. Thick boy employee who moved halfway across the country to work for Bapa, needed a life changing surgery costing 10,000, the team could only raise two thirds of the money
20:30 and eventually fired him. Wow. Do you want to comment on the narrative of their painting? You know, probably accurate. I mean, they talked about George, right? And then now this guy got, what did he get? He got $10,000 from buying a hat?
20:46 So he got the hat. Yeah. He won the truck and $10,000 on top. It seems like that's wrong and it should have gone to George. Right. Yeah. I agree. So not only did you win this truck, and here's the kicker, he only purchased a half. Also, if Brendan Schaub watches this, please stop saying kicker.
21:06 He only purchased a hat. So not only did you get this bad, bad, but I'm also giving you $10,000 cash. But I'm also giving you $10,000 cash. Dude. Why? Come on. My man, what a day. What a day. Thank you so much. All right, fam. That's it.
21:22 I know you don't try, but Brendan, you have literally, just by being you and the human you are, inspired me into really shaping, like, who I become as an adult and as a man. That shot of Bapa was great. Why is he doing that? It's weird to listen to someone like this. Yeah. Like, you're going to come back and say some shit, you know. Yeah, he's one.
21:47 Yeah. What is that why you're so fat? You did motivate him more. Yeah. I hear what you're saying, but you're still fat. I need to see more. Good. As a man.
21:57 You're the guy who lost the weight. Yeah. Yeah. Are we going to get surgery and get rid of that skin? I'm trying. I'm going to go on me. I'm like 10 grand. He's looking at her.
22:08 I'm not. Seriously? I'll tell you why I definitely got a third of that. Yeah. Let's find something. There we go. I'm also in. I'm also in.
22:19 We got two thirds going on. By the next third you hit me up, I got fucking 3 grand, 3.3. Yeah, I got 3 grand. I can definitely get you that. I'll do 3. Yeah, so 3, 3. Yeah. He was getting emotional.
22:30 Yeah, he's getting emotional. That's crazy. So we need another 3 to get this time. So we need another 3. Oh. They're going to make you a new belly button and everything. Hey, you got a lot of people coming through here. Just know I'm good for 3 grand.
22:43 Okay, we got 6,600. I'm good for 3. He's good for 3. Hello, dark, and smile, friend. If it's three grand to me, why wouldn't I want you to live your best life in your world? Yeah, that's what you want for everyone. Hell yeah. All right, I'm going a celebrated birthday party.
23:00 Awesome. Thanks, Bert. Let me know when I owe you. Let me know when you need the surgery, okay? Yes, sir. Love you, brother. Good. Congratulations on the weight loss.
23:08 Thank you. Thank you. What a sweetheart. I'm in for a thousand. Love you, my son. Oh, yeah. Let's talk about it. Oh, yeah, George.
23:23 Yeah. Let's talk about George for a sec, guys. So there's been a lot of misinformation. George did not get fired. George was asked, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, the, we, we, the, we, the, we, the, we, the, we, the, we, the, we, the, we, if he, if he, if, if, if, if those don't work out, he, you can come back here, you know, that, you know, that. It's always open. I love to. I talked to George probably more than anybody in here besides you.
23:56 Yeah, and I talk to him every single day. I talk to him every day. I like to give a special thank you to Brendan Shop. Oh, man. Okay, get it back home. Yeah, I remember this. This is supposedly his mom, right? Thanks a man.
24:17 Yeah, it ends there. Yeah, I mean, we don't really know what happened with George. Yikes. At the end of the day. But I assume. The money didn't come from Bert or Brennan. Yeah. Yeah.
24:30 So, you know, you can't always believe what podcasters tell you they're going to do. Yeah. Sometimes just get busy, dude. Yeah, dude, I don't know. It's, uh, I feel like we talked about this back in the, when it happened, but, uh, I feel like maybe George wasn't the best, uh, editor, you know? Oh, yeah. But still, you know, using his growth to be like, I'm such a good guy. And then just dropping him right away.
24:55 It kind of like takes away all the fucking using his growth type thing. Yeah, that's true. It kind of like works against you at that point. Yeah, it doesn't even make sense for, well, it's bad morally, right? But it's also doesn't make sense for the show purpose, right? You'd want to follow it out. You have this storyline and you help him lose weight. You're great.
25:19 And also, we're going to pay for the surgery, too. That's actually good media, too. It's a good thing to do, but it's entertaining for whoever's into that kind of thing to watch. And he said, I'm not doing either of those things, then. It doesn't count. You're out. You're out. What else we got chin?
25:37 He what else we got chin in Georgia's like surgery? Well. And that we're about to do that to you guys, actually, because that's not enough. What the fuck? Yeah, that's crazy. Dude, we're about to fire all the George's in our chat, dude. That's insane. I would have paid for a third of your surgery, too.
25:54 You guys should go to each other be like, hey, I'm in for five likes or I'm in for one like. Yeah, dude. I just talk to each other and say, hey, I'm in for a like. And then if I get a like, then who else is here? Who else can give a like, I think? One of you guys can allegedly be like,
26:09 I created 25 profiles. I'm 25 of these likes, dude. Why is there only seven other people like in the video, dude? You know what I mean? All right. Well, don't get into horse face territory. Yeah, dude, 38 likes. that's incredibly dissatisfying.
26:26 It's my fucking birthday, dude. If you're like the same age as the likes, then you're in trouble, dude. 38. I'm doing a lot of Cowan voice, but I can't stop, so don't ask me to. I'm in,
26:37 listen, if George still needs it, I'm in for five bucks. What about you? I'm in, I'll take about 3,000 of what's already in the pot. You'll take it for yourself. Yeah.
26:48 If that's what we're doing here. Yeah. Let's see what we got next. Oh, God. Damish job. you got to do them like that posted by financial skin 49 69 what does it say when the first of which outfit fails okay because he's her butt is too big for it great next uh post let's see this one made me laugh very hard as you can see i already uplift upvoted this um i'm going to uh
27:12 hey nc you're muted for now oh you say something crazy no but he the the all chat all caps yeah all caps tech shit don't do that yeah how do you push There we go, boom, got it. Less than five minutes in on the news special and we are getting the classic horse stance and man talk posted by old Barney. Yep. I mean, exactly.
27:36 He rode a horse and he did the man stance. I didn't know it was called the man stance. Yeah. I think he's talked about this. He kind of gets in triple threat position when he does stand up. Yeah. Which is so strange.
27:47 Yeah, dude. Ooh, it's like, can you feel it? Right here, my thigh. You know? You see him do stand up, you never want to play basketball again. He's like, I don't want to be in triple-throat stance. This was a Cooney looked like right before he broke both the wrists playing basketball. It's going to be a new bit of his.
28:10 He's like, this is, these guys have a podcast about me. One of them broke both of his wrists playing basketball. Dude, I love it. Couldn't be me, bro. I love it. When you were doing the voice because it would be full screen over there. So it was like he was doing, I don't know if that was just me being entertained by it, but it was pretty goddamn good. It's a top tier producing, dude.
28:32 That's pretty good. A bot is in here saying Temos is the best show on YouTube. That must be a real person. Yeah, that's 100% real, daddy. All righty. These are my favorites, but I think we already went through this. Whitney Cummings. We talked a lot of shit about it.
28:46 Oh my God. We saw that one already. Yeah. Just just. This one's posted by Andy Kaufman, too. Dephelia calls out Callan. I know we've gone over this a couple times, but I don't think we've done it on Timos, you know?
29:00 Yeah. So let's see. If you're a friend, be a friend. That's it. Just be loyal. These people, even the people that, like when people, you see all this stuff happening in Hollywood, somebody goes through something,
29:10 whether it's fucking accusations or whatever. And then everyone's all the, well, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah, yeah, you do. You know what they did. You know what they didn't do.
29:18 Fuck you. Dude, don't be a fucking bitch about it. Don't be like, well, I wasn't in those rooms. Shut the fuck up, dude. You know what kind of person your friend is. You're lying. This is what I'll say. I always knew Chris as a ladies man.
29:31 I have never, and I'm going to say this, I have never seen or heard of him doing anything illegal, ever. This is as shocking to me as I'm watching this happen. I don't know what to think and I don't know what to say. I'm just at a loss. I'm at a loss. And I'm praying that, what I'm hearing isn't true.
29:55 Maybe that's the best way to put. I can't talk. We've never been on the road with him. I was on the road with him about 14 years ago once when he was just beginning. But I've never been on the road with him. So I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what to think and I don't know.
30:17 I mean, that is wild. There was one time in Los Angeles where this comedian that I disliked like got canceled. And I think I've talked about this before, but he ran this show that he was obsessed with with these other more well-established comedians.
30:35 Like you might even know some of them. Right. And they did a post, they were friends with this guy. I saw them hang out all the time. And they did a post online where they said, we have found some,
30:45 we have heard some disturbing news about one of our producers. Yeah. He is no, we want to assure you, he is no longer part of the show. Did this have to do with FaceTime?
30:55 Yeah, yeah. Look at our episode. We say his name all the time. If you're curious, I mean. But that was just so funny. They called their friend our producer. People will turn on you quickly and
31:07 probably anywhere, but definitely here. Yeah, like if you get canceled on me, like, yeah, this guy I know that has graves. Cooney Sea Clamp for a second. Probably did. Yeah, he sees all the time, dude. I watch the best and I emulate the best
31:24 And I won't apologize for it. Yeah. I won't sugarcoat anything for you. Look at this guy. This is the kind of fans we have, dude. This is the most delightful content I've seen us today. Thank you for you. I remember that you continue to make content such as that to bring more blessings
31:36 and happiness to the world. It's just, my bad. This is unreal. Sometimes I can see real fans like that in. It was Miguel, Watson. Anthony Fontano. This is all the people we've talked about. Nope.
31:51 One night doesn't define Theo Vaughan. Is that for real the air conditioner in the back? I don't know. Probably not. Y'all need to back the fuck up. If you want to hate on anybody, send it my way instead of Theo's. I don't give a fuck. No, I think that's skits and bits.
32:10 Somebody put the air conditioner in there. I don't give a fuck. Dandy Coffin, shout out to you. We already saw that one, though. This one's posted by weird, short, horny guy. I'll just put it out on a thick boy. The Sigsons. Dicey dead people.
32:26 Can they see it now? Oh, my bad. That's my fault. Yeah. Timos makes women climax. Great. Let's see. Yeah, what do you think about this?
32:38 The Sig Sands. I like all the movie posters that when they take something and make it shop, that could be its whole whole Reddit. Shob movie posters. I'm always down. The Dune one was amazing. just a lot of good stuff in the cinematic shop world. Yeah. Let's see here.
33:02 Okay, so I think this might be the one they're referencing about unique. I don't know if this is unique though. kombuchel. Combuchel. Let's see. Dude, look at this. This is Bapa. Isn't that nuts?
33:16 And it's his homeless cats on the jersey. It's on Sora. Yeah. I don't know how to make Bapa and Soria. I wonder how to make Bapa and Soria. I wonder how they made. Yeah, that's a good question. How do they do it?
33:24 I know how they did it. They didn't sleep. That's for sure. They got 30 attempts. It took me forever to try to do it, dude. What's to buy chocolate? Chocolate with sand on top? That's my time, Riyadh.
33:39 Wow. That's perfect. Wow. Shout out to whoever did that, dude. He's wearing daddy's number. I didn't notice. Oh, I don't, yeah. What's Dubai chocolate?
33:48 Chocolate with sand on top? That's my time, Riyadh. Oh, shout out to you, whoever this is. Graves, Mazikin, Netflix, Stream, Chairsby. Thank you. That's very nice of you. You could do a whole thing. Yeah, Bapa, that's one thing we never did was Bapa with Middle Eastern food.
34:16 He'd be like, chicken swamah, tabuli. This is just a re-kick, reheat right here. here, dude, recook. I don't know what the hell's matter with me right now. Too much editing B. This one's called a virtually identical posted by Moonwager. Yeah, dude. I mean, facts. Yeah, it's not a good
34:37 choice on either haircut there. That's like he went into the barbershop and was like, do what you want. Or do your thing? Do your thing, yeah. Two of these have terrible graphics and they're not video games. Let's see here. A drunk, lonely, depressed chin playing with
34:53 his Glock posted by C-Cabinet 8-5 65. Yeah. Glock 17, my absolute favorite firearm. Weird bit. Very weird to post that. Yeah. Look at those toes. Hmm. What the fuck anorexic toe type shit is that? They're long and skinny. Pause. Bro. They're weird looking. That is disgusting. I got bad feet so I can't really talk. I kind of wish my feet look like that. I haven't been to the dentist in six years and my teeth do not look like that, dude. You know what I mean? Teeth? Yeah. Like, you know how that looks like teeth. It looks like...
35:27 Oh, it kind of does look like teeth. Yeah. It looks like an x-ray of teeth. Yeah. His feet look like an x-ray of teeth. He's going to shoot his foot. If he's not careful, he's going to get scared. Ah!
35:39 Oh, my God. Why are you in the hospital? You shot yourself on the foot. I thought my feet were haunted, doctor. Gordo said we need a super zooming. I don't think we do, but what the hell? Like, let's see if we can go inside there. Oh, we can't.
35:50 I have this really disgusting middle toe. And one time when I had a nail, long when I have nail on it anymore. I drew a bikini on the nail for
35:59 National Bikini Day and I posted it online saying like happy national bikini day and a bunch
36:03 of people unfriended me. What's up Dallas? Look at you guys. This one's posted by particular stable 69. Chris Dalia goes
36:16 after Brian and Bapa can't stop interrupting. Hmm. I feel like we already watch this. Because I think that
36:22 not to say that it's right, But I think if people would have came to you and been like, yo man, I got to distance myself. Now, I'm not that computer savvy. So he'd send me something that I plug into my computer. I don't know if I would have heard. I don't know how to do that.
36:38 I don't know how to do that. I don't know. I said this before and I'll say it again. When Tarantino does it, it's lovable and hilarious. Everyone likes it. Okay? It's not offensive. It's funny.
36:52 Yeah. It's out of control. I don't do that. I don't know how to do that. I don't know. He gave me that thing on my phone. Like, that's just, it's so crazy that you're like, this is funny.
37:03 He doesn't get it. He's a boomer. Me, don't know how to do that. He just makes it so bad. Yeah, if Scorsese did that, it would be just as funny. But it's not okay when Sholes does it. I can't stress that enough. That would have been better.
37:21 Just be, just, just, just if you're a friend, be a friend that's it just be loyal you know these people even the people that like when people you see all this stuff happen in Hollywood somebody goes through something whether it's fucking accusations or whatever and then everyone's like well I don't know I don't know yeah you do you know what they did you know what they didn't do
37:39 fuck you dude don't be a fucking bitch about it don't be like well I wasn't in those rooms shut the fuck up dude you know what kind of person your friend is you're lying you're lying but also Chris I think to the point too it helped you out like you realize up to out. They ain't shit. You know what I'm saying? You thought you had a lot of friends.
37:57 You did not have a lot of friends. Yeah, no, I know. Those people are not your friends. No, I know. I know. We're brothers, right? That's right. It's a brothers. Your brothers. We're brothers. I'm not arguing with you. Everybody's a brother. That's right.
38:08 You're a brother. These situations. Look at you guys. Can the other 160 in the chat in the act of Gerardo's birthday, please? Unreal. Like, how many times? I'd rather just watch the Reddit, dude, but I think we should just sit on this screen for a bit, dude.
38:28 What the fuck? Yeah, I mean, you guys, this is not unlike the scenario where George was trying to get his, I'm going to bring it back to that. Yeah. He asked Bert and Brennan for money, and they both decided to cover a third. They got to two thirds.
38:44 Right now, we're not even at two thirds of a hundred. Yeah. That's pathetic. I mean, this comment about us getting more likes has more likes than our video. James Freeman is standing alone Not on like a lion
38:57 Yeah In the woods In the wood You know And he's just surrounded By a bunch of fucking cheetahs Yeah Or um
39:04 What's worse than a cheetah What are the things that A cupibara A giraffe Now we really are counting Yeah Animals dude We're finding more animals
39:17 And Joe Um Here's a deal Uh Bill Burb blaming the media For people turning on him Bapa level gas lighting posted by Cocoa Butter Ball Sack.
39:25 That guy's name is lit. Let's see. Here's a deal. I would love, I have no problem answering any of them. The problem I have is after I answer them, it all gets clipped. And then once it gets clipped, then the lies start getting told. Or they start shaping it and making it this and making it that. So all I'm doing is just throwing another log on the fire.
39:51 and then they can make more money. No, I'm sorry. Well, oh, no, no, no, no, because they care so much. That's right. Sorry, not because they're just making money. The level of like straight up lies. You're sorry, I got to make sure. I feel like the log on the fire just made me think of Bapa.
40:09 Like, what would, the worst I think of that he could say would be, it's like you throw another kid on the fire. What? Yeah. You throw a kid on. on the fire. Yeah. That's what I got so far. I was trying to think of one. You know, I was watching T-Fat K is my favorite podcast.
40:31 And I thought of my, yeah, I might go to Riyadh. Well, it's a call the... It's like throwing the raw meat in the fire. It's just, it's wild. These stories of like, there was no women there. He just performed to the... Royals, by the time they had done with this shit,
40:50 they're going to say I went over there and did a one-on-one show in a fucking tent staring at my toes and then I left for the head fucking guy, whoever the hell it is over there, right? Once again, I performed in an arena over there in the round. Everybody knows. Yeah. Nobody's like thinking that you sucked off a royal. It's just still. Yeah, I agree.
41:16 It's kind of funny to say it again. Like you're saying like he goes, I was in an arena out there. And I performed, but everybody's mad that you did that. Yeah, that's it. So logically, do you want to say it again? I might say, you know, I don't have much to say about this. I wouldn't be like, and I perform for the Royals.
41:38 And as people of Saudi Arabia, that's why people are mad at you. He's coloring with them the lines, though. He can't probably say, like, I just did it for them. Whatever he can't say. We don't know what he can't say. He won't say it. I probably could say I did it for them I looked they offered me a lot of money and I took it
41:53 if he already has the money what's the point in not saying that they'll kill you oh you think the koshogi him wow we talked about that but remember we were saying who was the comedian that we'd beheaded oh yeah and we said most likely I forget who he said was most likely but no I don't I don't think they're gonna actually kill him
42:10 for saying that they paid him a lot of money most likely Jay Light or Lou Schwartz I thought you're gonna say they will kill him No, and then I said sometime before, like, they probably threatened somebody's family. Here's the thing.
42:27 What does Shabte? You don't want to say? Here's the kicker. Here's the kicker. Okay? Because Bill Burr looks like me. I like him. I refuse to criticize.
42:37 And because I look like a Saudi, I like him too. Let's see. It was 8,000 people at the show. Okay? It was citizens. And then they had diplomats sitting down front in a nerve-wracking way for the performer to make sure that, you know, you didn't talk about the two or three things that they said that they negotiated down to not talk about. Once again, as I said before, whoever put together the comedy festival and everything, what it did for freedom of speech over there. Yeah.
43:15 anyways bill blood money and burr just two or three things guys if devil's assistant if blood money was in this show we might be able to do a lot more shop okay so yeah we can't even get to over a hundred likes
43:32 we need enough likes where we can start getting the blood money to flow in and then the great even better content flows out I totally understand why Bobby Lee went because he's giving us way too much money and he had to like supplement that ain't gun somehow, dude. He went there so he could keep paying us. Yeah. Yeah. Let's see here. This one's supposed by half banana 254-1 called Grabbing a Slice and See This Gym, dude. That's awesome.
43:58 That's so great. That is funny in a pizza spot to take a picture with Shob. And Shob looks all fucked up. That's T-Fat K3D days, dude. Yeah. The red shirt, the red fucking, I don't know what that is, Vegas shirt or Bowler shirt or something like that. He's a lot. He's, he's a little bit. He's got to bring that back. Yeah. I think that was actually good. This one's another one about chin. It's posted by Jesus Chrysler.
44:23 Lonely Chin. Moving to Texas on my own has been a little rough on me. It's just like he looks like he's not even in the room. You're right. He does look as though he's losing weight. Yeah. He's very skinny and his toes aren't really there. They freaked out at him.
44:41 Adams told L.A. that has bad feet. but then she looked at Chin's feet and she was, she's thinking about leaving. Who? Adam's, Adam's spouse.
44:50 I can see Adam there. Oh, okay. Gotcha, got you. I was going to say all that barbecue, dude. Yeah, why is it not making them fat? Let's see here. He's on the George diet.
45:03 This is posted by I see that's good. I see fondant, thank him. That's funny. This is where human rights meets the wall. Fuck, dude. That was damn.
45:16 What do you got to say that, Andrew? You duolingo, darling. Mm-hmm. That meme made me laugh harder than Peter Denglage's dungarees. Andrew Schultz's shitty shit jokes. Okay. Let's see here. Oh, man.
45:34 We've already seen all these. Okay, so it looks like we got another one here. Posted by username 1, 2, 3. Callum thinking about his comedy career after his special. release. Oh. Happy Burp Day G. Buy some Sharpies been hooked on Timos since episode 23 and supporting the page. Hell yeah. Happy Burp Day big G. Party popper emoji. Buy some sharpies pen emoji being hooked on since episode 23 and support the page. Hell yeah. Shout out to you Brian Nyberg. Where's my mouse at? There we are.
46:10 Hell yeah, let's see what this one's all about now. My new shit is like I You were on one yesterday. I was on one, brother. I was on one. I had to get off the phone. Notice how I hurried up. I was going to, I don't play you. I had to get off the phone.
46:21 Yeah, Brian was, I came back. I didn't even like talked to any of you like this. Have you ever heard me like that? No, yeah, well, I was driving because I was doing some cars stuff. Because my feelings are hurt so bad, like my feet, like I put out this special and nobody, it doesn't matter. Like, it doesn't matter. Specials aren't special anymore. They're not special.
46:36 Nobody watches it. That's what you need to understand. It doesn't matter. Oh, I was going to say, dude, this guy's just there. They told them they'd talk about the Dodgers and he's just like waiting the whole time. They're like, fuck, we're talking about Brian Collins special again, dude. He's so bored.
46:52 Who is that? That's the Kevin and Bean guy. Oh, okay. Right. Wow. All right. Special anymore. They're not special.
47:00 Nobody watches it. That's what you need to understand. It doesn't matter. Like the, and I'm towards the end of it. Like that, that, that medium of like special used to be special.
47:13 well, now they've just lost their significance. And I'm not saying your special is not important. It's important. Significance. Significance. Oh, significance. That's a good one.
47:23 It's weird how close kicker and significance is. It's so weird. It's just like stop saying these words. You know what I mean? Yeah, you don't have to. We're trying to avoid the N word here. You know what I mean? He's getting so close in words that should not be nearby.
47:38 You know what I mean? That's what I said. But what I'm saying is, look at the part out. But it's not. To me. you. Who's this? Oh shit.
47:46 Oh shit. Hope you get your Read invite next year. I hope so too. We're manifesting, dude, because like, not only have we said that we would do it, but we will actually reach out to do it, you know? What's your dream lineup? Oh, shit. Happy birthday from the Hawks and the Bots.
48:08 Thanks, man, Lehman. Shout out to you, Man Lehman. What's the dream lineup? What's the dream lineup for you at Riyadh? if it's including you and me. Who else? Check this out. Do not get too disturbed by the first opener.
48:20 Okay. The opener is unique, right? Let it sit out there. Let him do 10, 15, what he's good at, you know, somebody else's jokes or something like this. Yeah. And then too lazy comes out. A fax.
48:31 You know what I mean? And then we pop out. And you think it's just Cooney and he's like, and he forgets to bring me out, but then I just run out there with Sharpie in the ass and everything, dude, you know? Fucking a squirrel. One squirrel on the front.
48:43 Sharpie in the back, you know what I mean? And whether it's inside or not, I don't know if that's legal out there, but I'm willing to fucking play ball, you know? Very good. I like that. Closer, elephant graveyard, dude. Oh, my God. I wonder if we could get elephant graveyard out to Riyadh.
48:56 Yeah. You might have some problems. Gordo's got a good point. Jokexplanter takes a unique spot. We'll just have joke explain to go out first. Hell yeah. What about you? Um, okay.
49:06 Well, definitely me and you. Okay. Mike Hather would. All right. That's facts. right jaco willing all right motivational because it can't all be funny
49:17 it's not always jokes do you all right Jordan Peterson I'm bombing good yeah he says good when someone says I'm bombing he just goes good
49:28 but then bombing there is like well I'm not going to go into that joke oh yeah yeah and then trying to get it's canceled I know yeah true Hannah Gatsby obviously
49:38 she would be crushed there they'd be eating out of her palm oh not if she sits on them first Who else? Yeah, Brian Ibrick is a good point. Maybe Jay, maybe Jay too. Just like, you always need somebody to be like, is this a good joke before you go out there?
49:52 Yeah, that's Jay. And then, you know, for most of the thing I would want Brian Callender be doing stand-up. Wow. Maybe hours. Okay. Yeah. What if we go there?
50:04 They're like, hey, we want the Timos boys out here. I don't know what's happening outside. Yeah, what the hell is that? Hopefully my apartment doesn't catch fire. Like a goddamn, like, turn of the same. Century Fire Truck out here, dude. Let's just listen to it. It sounds like a nuclear warnings thing.
50:19 Yeah. You know what? There is a, like a old school car around here that does that. Oh, okay. They have like an annoying-ass siren thing. Man. Pussy. Thanks.
50:35 It's not, it would be, I guess, late. Oh, Red Bar. Early Birthday. Cooney. Red Bar would be pretty good. Red Bar would be the closer, dude.
50:43 Red Bar and Riyadh. Encore elephant graveyard. What's it called? What was I saying? I was talking about Callan. Oh, they ask us, Timos guys, we want you to come out here, do some 10 minutes, you know,
50:55 shop out here, and we're on there for an hour or something like this. Yeah. And, but they're like, but you can, one thing you cannot talk about to, we did not kill the report.
51:03 There's, we did not do 9-11. Yeah. No Brendan Shab. What? What? Humphor. Get out the suicide.
51:11 Oh my God. But if I, if I was out there on Stan, and I was going to do Read thing. I go out there and be like, hey, what's up guys, I'm Brennan Cooney.
51:19 I'm, listen, I know what you want. I'm giving the rest of my time to Brian Callen. And I have to do an encore of all. I do the same jokes. When you say that,
51:28 is he like meek and saying hello or is he already in the stance? Already in the stance. Okay, got you. It'd be funny if you told Callan, hey, Calan, you're so funny,
51:36 man. Just, when you get out, can you just do the same jokes? Because it's funny because he would do it anyways. Yeah. He never does.
51:43 Never changes. let's see what is that no now it seems like a party's going on yeah there's a party next door we're gonna end early tonight daddy like some of the old heads it's it's important but in this day and age like to ask someone to sit down and watch an hour of stand up is in it's just not the way the game works but it's it's and i'm not saying it's right i fucking dude i feel bad i feel like calvin's calling us out right here dude how so we only watched 30 minutes of it he probably watch does review it you motherfucker didn't finish my spanish nothing's like i don't know what to do but it hurts my feelings so bad and it makes me but it's not a brian callan problem it's not is it
52:25 that's what i was trying to tell you yesterday it's not a brian callan problem yeah it everyone's dealing with it right i felt so i felt so terrible for the past like two days like terrible and and but like i had a set last night at the mothership like i said my new shit is fucking it's kitten like the old shit. It's the exact same stuff. It's getting the same reaction because it's the same thing. If we can cut to his new shit, can you do some of it right now? Let's see.
52:59 Fuck, what did he? What was his new shit? It's so funny that I can't remember because we would guess what it would be, right? There was something about rich guys. Oh, no, I'm talking about this is not even on the special. He's talking about new shit altogether, new shit. Oh, can I do some of what is new? Oh, yeah.
53:15 Oh, yeah, yeah. So we wouldn't believe what happened. I saw this fucking guy, dude. He was, oh, my God, he was so ripped. This guy was fucking ripped. Like, not, you don't get it. Like, his muscles, like, they needed to have honey on him. Everybody, please welcome Brian Cowley.
53:38 Hi, woo. Dude, rich guys, you fucking. They didn't even know what they want. They just want everything. Like, a rich guy just wants to be like, he wants to be you. He wants to be like inside your butthole. They want so much that I want their dick. I have a gold.
53:56 They have a golden cock. Let's see here. I have that skill that when I'm on. Yeah, you have a special skill set. I'm proud of it. I'm really good. I'm as good as. It's good you went up there.
54:11 I think I'm as good as anybody. Oh. That's crazy talk. Yikes. You're not as good as... Most comedians are better than you. Yeah. Most open micers are funnier than you are.
54:21 Yeah. Let's see what this isn't about. All that Diet Coke is fucking me up. We already saw that. What is this? This looks pretty good, whatever it is. Kelly Rollins. It's called Yaa.
54:36 Let's see. I do. Yaw! Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
54:51 Mm-hmm. Oh, we can't play the whole thing. Yeah. Nah. There we go. Shab is a St. lunatic. Is that Patty LaBell? That is some great editing, dude.
55:12 Shout out to that guy. Thank him. Icarus lives. Is he ever in our chat? I don't know. It's a great guy, though. Never met him. Should we check the likes or should we hold off?
55:24 I don't even want to know at this point. Shout out to this guy. Who's this? The amount off cope for their failing careers is rolling on the floor laughing emoji. The name of the emoji is funny. Yeah. All right, this is supposed to have a busy middle 8108. Oh, he's doing it again.
55:43 Good God. Why? You know what, though? not going to lie. Your boy made some sausage salad. Your boy made a video about it. The first bite I took, dude. You put your tongue out? I swear to God.
55:58 Nah. I swear to God. And it was embarrassing. Did it look like that? It didn't. It looked like Papa. And I was like, no fucking way I put my tongue out when I eat, dude. Is that, do you think it was just this one time or we're just being too hard? Because I remember specifically Walsh said when he was like, pull that up again. why does he do this?
56:18 And then I've never really thought about it. So I said, yeah, that's weird. He always does that. Dude, I did it. And it was like watching Bapa do it. Like you, if I were to show you the footage right now, it's like, oh, you'd probably have a good laugh about it. Interesting.
56:32 Okay. All right. Well, I'll keep an eye up for that. Yeah. Me, I don't do that. I don't use straws. You know, my kids, they got to play baseball as hard as I did. So I'm talking home runs, you know, stealing bases and all that stuff.
56:47 Do you want to see it or no? Sure. Okay. Talk to the chat. I'm going to go to the rest of you to get the other cable and then try to make it work. Gerardo's going to show us whether he did the tongue thing. I did do it. I mean, I believe you.
56:57 I believe that you did it. I mean, listen, don't tell me that you try to fuck your way out of it. But I'll go back to it. So listen, when I, when my kids start, when I start playing sports, I'm going to just tell them, look, you got to be good right away. All right. Genetics don't lie. you got Cooney in you. You have violence in your DNA. Clothes are not going to fit you. Okay. You're going to be one of the elite.
57:26 And the chat messed up, so I can't even see the chat right now. But you're going to be one of the elite. You know, you got to, it's waking up at 437 in the morning. Okay. You're very, even when you're young, you still have enemies. You don't know. You got a competition, dude. Competition, breed, success. Sometimes bad things are going to happen that doesn't, mean that you can't be first place you always got to be the best at football you got to be the best at baseball soccer hockey track lacrosse field hockey okay i mean they probably don't let you play that but it were girls because the same thing with girls dude i'm not gonna i'm not gonna go easy on girls i'm not gonna sugar coat anything i'm not gonna tell them they're dick's delicious with sugar
58:10 on it and none of that stuff oh no the chat went down so i'm just telling them how i'm gonna raise my kids. I'm going to be as part of being a baseball dad is that every practice you're there giving the coach a hard time okay? The coach is probably some fat guy who played baseball maybe in high school. Who cares? He's a loser and the kid should be listening to you. When I talk
58:36 when I'm at my son's baseball practice and the coach is talking sometimes I'm like eh and I tell him shut up so I can talk even if I don't have somebody to say because it's about a establishing like, you know, so the kids know that like when I talk, they got to listen. They're going to get a better batting average when I'm talking. Yeah. Yeah. No, keep going.
58:55 Okay. I'm not done. I'm not. Shut up. Okay. So, you know, I interrupt the coach whenever I can. Sometimes I'm yelling, especially if my kids not doing what I want, like I'll just be yelling. If I feel like other kids are preventing, like if I see a fat,
59:16 kid. Right. Right. I go listen, Denver. It was my son Denver. I go, Denver, look at that. That's disgusting. I pointed to the kid. If he can hear me, so what? If his parents can hear me, so what? That's their fault. They shouldn't have raised a child like this. Right. I don't even know how that happens. In life, there are people with genetics like me, and there are people with genetics like other people, but I can't. It's not my fault that you weren't born like this. Okay. I can't, I can't do it for, I always tell my kids, like you're giving so much. Look at these fat kids, these short kids, kids with, you know, maybe they have some sort of just thing stopping them from, you know, being as good.
59:57 It's like that, you're not like that. So you're all to a different standard. Yeah. Okay. The Cooney standard. Right? We're talking about like people like me. People like Brendan Schaub.
01:00:08 Okay. World class athlete, Black Belt and Podcasting. Food truck connoisseur. Okay. Let's say it. You saw it? No, dude. This is, we can do play by play here. This was a fucking revelation to me, dude.
01:00:25 I did not know how I ate like this. Look at that tongue out. Oh, yeah. Tongue out. Now I want to know how I. This is tongue out just normal and we've just been judging him too harshly? Are you a weirdo? No, this is weird.
01:00:36 No, this is not normal. This is tongue out, me eating for real, for real. Do you eat other food like this or just sausage salad? Yeah, no, no, I mean, weird. It's weird to eat sausage salad, period. No, it's delicious, but relaxed, but that's, that's, I did that, dude. Happy birthday to me, dude. Well, you saw it here, folks.
01:00:57 Yeah, let's see what they say. I mean, guys, I'm open and honest. They said, ew. Ellie just said, you. Different shirt and same colors like a superhero. Okay. It could be the angle. Yeah, I put, I put the fucking tongue out, dude, but.
01:01:11 Yeah. I literally saw that and I just. stopped for a minute and I was just like, oh, what the hell? You should, you should embrace the, uh, the angle narrative. Okay, so the angle, sure, but look at this angle. This is straight on. No matter how you look at it, I was fucking eating it with my tongue out, dude, you know? That's more tongue than I suspected.
01:01:34 Says Lubinowski. Yeah, no, when I saw it, it was ridiculous. Gerardo on that black and yellow. Oh, yeah. Black and yellow, black and yellow. It's the black yellow and red pants, dude. I love this fucking fit, dude. And the red on the scorpion is like a callback to the pants.
01:01:47 Callback. Why? You got to laugh at my fashion sentence, dude. Your clothes have a call bag. I like it. Let's see here. It's sad posted by Guild guitar. Oh shit.
01:01:58 Guild guitar isn't posted in a minute. Oh, shit. Let's check this one out. Some sad news. I'm going to be taking a step back from being on King of Sting. Sting. And I just, you know, something tells me.
01:02:13 me i know elephant graveyard probably has his own account but gill guitars and elephant graveyard have a lot of rhythm to their clipage dude look at this coloring doesn't it look like a elephant graveyard video there is something yeah they're in the kind of same field almost you know and i remember when i first started watching elephant graveyard there was the music and it was the clips and less of him talking and all that it was kind of musical and it looked really cool kind of like this just interesting same person artistic. Is that, yeah, that's the narrative of your building? Yeah.
01:02:45 I'm impressed with the... Twin brothers. You show somebody this Reddit, and if they know anything about it, they think it's just people hating on Brendan Schaub, but then they go, wait a minute, there's art here. You should be in the Louvre.
01:03:18 Gang Gang. Jay King. Just gonna handle some shit, you know? Pop back in, you know? Oh, really? Dude. Oh, really, dude. Oh, man, RIP.
01:04:01 It also kind of reminds me of tapping skins. another great genius yeah um when do you think you'll pop back in not anytime soon papa no I don't think so
01:04:17 why not well he's got a lot going on I can't talk let's see will you though so fuck all right well it's not that far from 100 I'm not gonna
01:04:30 oh you're not gonna hate I mean you know we had to fucking ask basically for surgery to get there Yeah. We did literally have to ask for surgery to get here. And you guys still can't all pitch in? Is it a thing where it's like, what, you don't believe in working as a team? I thought we were a team.
01:04:44 Yeah. I thought we were going to fight. You all should be thinking your lucky stars. I'm not your dad. And this isn't baseball. Because if that was, you'd be running some, it may be worse than running laps. Well, you're taking the wrong approach to this. Dude, I understand you're in the baseball game. Oh, yeah, always. I am your dad. And you've got homework, dude. And if you don't do your homework, I'm going to beat the shit out of you. That's true.
01:05:04 We're going to, I'm going to, he's going to beat you. I'm going to make you do Maboo. Where he said that is. Make you do a Mabu workout. And while you're doing a Mabu, he's doing a Haka. You know what I mean? He's in the corner just going, oh, ha, ha, ha, ha. He guys aren't ready for that, dude.
01:05:19 Yeah. Mop and truck flip is a great guy. So I won't make him do it. But Gordo, you might have to do it Maboo. Yeah, Gordon. Gordo's like, I've already liked it. All sad. I was just picking on people.
01:05:30 Let's see here. What are we doing here? We already saw that. all right so another joke explainer for spashian manascalco posted by pc load letter 81 beans cheese beans cheese beans cheese let's see and nobody talks to the chapolte people there's no conversation that happens they listen to the same shit eight hours a day right steak beans cheese yeah yeah that's cheese Beans. Beans cheese.
01:06:12 I know he says beans cheese, and it's funny because of Gringo Pappy, but I also think that's funny in general. I think this is a good joke. Well, yeah, but beans cheese is so good. Yeah, both are good. Beans and cheese. I've never seen anything like this.
01:06:31 It's like you're not even. Beans and cheese. That's a call back to the Gringo Poppy. one of the biggest standout specials of all times so the crowd recognizes hey that's a Brendan Schaub bet a great homage to one of the masters yeah dude that was great beans pretty good pretty good stuff
01:06:48 the Cooney Haka hit the fucking brand new truck and 10,000 in cash we saw this already but let's see what's up Kubeep time about that time we found our official winner my boy Blake here officially won the one of one custom TRX So they're $50,000 in mods.
01:07:06 This thing is an absolute animal. Couldn't want to a better guy. He's a dad, father of two. Your two girls are going to love this truck. So not only did you win this truck, and here's the kicker, he only purchased a hat. So not only did you get this bad-ass dad rig, but I'm also giving you $10,000 cash.
01:07:22 And you also have to admit that you listen to T-FACA. Yeah. To everyone that can see. He's got a dad rig now, dude. Dad rig. Dad-rig. Dad-Bod. Do you think there's a way he can,
01:07:34 act as if he has third party cooperation with like lawyers and stuff but still give the truck to like a qualified candidate according to his standards. Like it has to be a dad. It has to be a white guy. He has to have a mustache like Taylor the wand. You know what I mean?
01:07:51 He has to fit all this criteria. Yeah. Maybe it's a good question. I don't know. Maybe he thinks he's just untouchable and he's like do Trump's resume. We can do whatever we want now. Yeah. I'm not going to get investigated over this. shit. Not until 202028, Daddy.
01:08:07 I'm calling my boy Trump up, dude. Dia got recalled, Daddy. Thank you, MNSX-D. Now you spell it. Happy birthday, you're dumb. Bean cheese, bean cheese. Has to have graves disease. Well, let's see what Brewer has to say about.
01:08:23 Oh, fuck, dude. It's our society, how we treat one another. Okay, so that's basically what it is. He's right. Yeah. You know what Andrew Schultz says? No, no, no, no. No, now we're in the podcast, watching another podcast, watching another podcast
01:08:40 on, which is the best sound to be. You feel like balancing your life, and you're like, oh. Yeah, until that's happening, it's not really worth it. Yeah. It's not really even a show. Yeah. Do you think that Andrew Sholes was somewhere in the world? He was probably at like Nobu or something in eating or something.
01:08:59 And then while Jim Brewers entering him into the brewer's, he feels something like, well, he's like, what the fuck was that? Oh, yeah. Do you feel something when you're in the Bruneverse? Yeah. I don't know. We don't know because we've never been in the Bruniverse. I guess we have to wait if he ever, he probably never doesn't know who we are,
01:09:16 but if he mentions us someday, we might feel it. Dude. Please, Jim Brewer. Put us in the Bruniverse, dude. Oh, yeah, I definitely want to be in the Bruniverse. Yeah. That's one of my favorite. I wish I could vacation there, right?
01:09:29 Yeah. If I got a call about the Bruniverse, I'd be like, sign me up, Daddy. My Ties in the Bruniverse, Daddy? Mm-hmm. It's the way to make room there. That was the three, but something he said. Oh my God.
01:09:38 It's such a long clip, dude. Right. Goodness gracious. Now, here's the thing, too. The people that are, first of all, I'm going to talk about the guy that did it is this guy, Mark Maron. He started the whole thing. Now, here's the sad part about Mark Marin. He has an.
01:10:04 incredible journey. He really did. And I'll take you my... What is he on? I don't know. He seems all fucked up even though he's sober. He really does. He starts a Jamaican.
01:10:17 He's like Jamaican Bob Barker from Soura. What's up with the MacMaron and Man? You order to ponder rice from the Doodash. All right. We'll see what else he has to say later. My man, what a day.
01:10:31 What a day. Thank you so much. Appreciate it. Enjoy the truck. man people love it so get ready for a lot of people to stop you ask you about the truck congrats brother yeah enjoy the truck so much all right fam that's it the TRX is out of here thanks to everybody that participated i can't think guys enough this was by far biggest giveaway you guys like TRX you like trucks duly noted for the next one i love you guys if you didn't win i'm so sorry
01:10:55 but it went to a good person his kids are going to enjoy and that's why i do this more v8 on the road the better. What's the over under? What's the over under on the probability that he knows what Dooley means? Zero chance be. The more V8s on the road, the better. Was that a job saying? Is that a new thing?
01:11:17 His kids are going to enjoy it. And that's why I do this. More V8 on the road, the better. Hope you guys continue to support. Love you guys. Thanks so much. Drive fast. Drive fast.
01:11:30 Mm-hmm. That truck is crazy. It's so big. Yeah. I know that he's in Tixies, and maybe it makes more sense there, and he knows homeowners. Maybe this guy's a homeowner. Yeah. I'm just laughing at the idea of me winning the truck.
01:11:44 Where would I put that thing? Take over both my spots and my apartment. Tell my fiance to park elsewhere. Oh, shit. Thank you, Dee. HBD bot. Birthday cake emoji. Um, you know how they have those.
01:12:00 TikToks where it's like first week in Austin, let's see how this goes. And then it's like, second week in Austin, or it's an Australian accent. And then it's like two months in Austin, I'll give it away a truck daddy. Welcome to the Jetsu Holiday
01:12:18 or what is it? Jet 2 holiday. His whole life. Everything Brennan does could be Jetsu Holiday. Yeah. All right, what's this? Bobby's one of my closest friends man posted by Guild guitars. Oh no, good the guitars. He's trying to make it a sad thing, dude. Let's see.
01:12:34 I love Bobby. Nothing but love for Bobby. Bobby Lee is one of my closest friends. Bobby's one of my closest friends. Oh, really? So real quick, Brian's closer with Bobby. He's always been closer with Bobby than I was. Like, me and Bobby didn't talk.
01:12:59 I tell you, which is the truth, I don't talk about it. We're talking about it. So we're never that close. Oh, shit. Train by day. 10 minutes of show podcast at night. All day, Ellie Adam.
01:13:18 Thank you, Ellie and Adam. Dude, that's funny. The Rogan thing? That's not yet. That's good. Yeah. Good job, Adam. Ellie.
01:13:25 Let's see here. Meanwhile, we haven't spoke. I was Fing up. The latest face. That's so funny. Yeah. That's hilarious.
01:13:54 Dun, done, done, done, done. Shit. I'm not, you know, we're not even, like,
01:13:59 because there's a lot of money, but we're not that close with him, to be honest. Yeah. I mean, I never spoke to him. Cooney's usually the one that talks to him. Look at that one, dude. What the hell is that all about, dude? Ger-Dangels. Do you want to hear a story about yesterday, my birthday?
01:14:15 Sure. I went to Mendocino Farms with my mother. Shout out to mom. I told her, oh, by the way, breaking news, I told her everyone in my chat wants her to start a YouTube show. Guess what she said? Fuck that. Hell no.
01:14:29 Y'all could have had me. You know, whatever she said. Anyways, we went to Mendocino Farms. Yeah. And the guy was like, what's your name? And I stopped my mom. I was like, hit out of it. Right?
01:14:42 And the guy was like, head of what? And he didn't say that. But you know what I'm saying? Yeah, he's confused. He's like, what? And how do you spell it? I was like, no, see, it's my birthday. You got to spell it.
01:14:50 And I get off to this. That's what I said, right? And he literally went like this for way too long. There was nobody in line. So he was just like, hmm. He's like, let me see, let me know if that's right. Like he thought about it. Yeah.
01:15:03 He's like, let me know if that's right. And I said it multiple times. Okay. And it was G-D-O-R-R-R-O. Jodoro. Jodoro. I like that. Mm-hmm.
01:15:11 That's another added to the list. So that's another one, guys, here. Add it to the list, dude. That's how he spelled it right there. Sounds like a techno song. Sounds like some artist from Ukraine. Let's see here. All righty.
01:15:26 Can't wait to see Brendan's anti-talinol activist era. we already saw this one. Geraldineo. Okay, so Brian just got back from Turkey posted by thick as fuck. Circle Jerks Sopranos posted this one. That looks like Brian Callan. It does kind of, yeah.
01:15:46 Giordante, somebody said. This one's posted by Beyond. Totally real and organic comments on T-Fat K shorts. Thank you for creative energy. Your videos always bring pleasure in positive mood. Damn, some hotties looking at the shorts, dude.
01:16:03 Wow. It's like being in Charleston, dude. Charleston Werewolf. Yeah. That's what happens when you're a Charleston werewolf. Yep. That's what happens when you visit Charleston once, dude. Okay.
01:16:13 I didn't know there was a video component of this one. I'm a Visalia vampire. My cousin's from Visilia. Oh, really? Yeah, the one that was in here. Oh, shit. Shout out to Vissela. Allegedly.
01:16:26 Let's see here. Posted by Selected Tom. You can't make this up. Let's see here. Rownry. So Ronry and sad Rural Rhone. There's no one
01:16:40 just me only sitting on my rental phone which doesn't no one understands seems right no one takes me serious
01:17:00 And so I'm Roney A bit of Rownery So my problem with my problem here is that and it's for all of them. They don't seem to have friends. Right. Nobody ever calls them and like if my friend did this, I would, I would, maybe not immediately, but I'd call them up and I go, what was that?
01:17:35 Yeah. Take that down. My only problem was that it's not, I'm horny. That would have been way better, dude. It's been funnier. Yeah. Yeah. If it would have been, I'm,
01:17:45 lonely, I'm lonely and then be like, but also, you know, I'm horny, you know. What if he, you call him, you're his friend, right? Your chin's friend. You call him, you know, we talk about exports and stuff like that, you know, HDMI cables. It's just producer talk the whole time. All day. Shop talk.
01:18:02 Yeah. It's like trucks for you, but with the dude, rod. Whenever I answer, I go, this call starts in five, four. That's funny, but you hear me off. And you, like, I'm like, hey, Joe, how do I, how do I, turn on the sink and you go. You push the fucking... The sink?
01:18:24 Yeah, I'm like, I'm trying to think of something really stupid. Like that I don't even know how to do. Hey, Gerardo, La Dorigo Dario, no, from Juno. Right. Yeah. I'm like, Gerardo, should I use the sink by myself this time? You're like, no, no, no. Hold on, Chin. I'm going to get back. He's going to fucking flood my house.
01:18:38 But, no, so you call up, you call up Chin and you go, hey, man, that video kind of sucked. And it's like, why did you do that? And he's like, Shob made me do it. He said it's funny to do an Asian thing. So I have to. He might fire me.
01:18:56 Because I think that could happen. Somebody said that Cooney legit used the water bottle wrong. Oh, yeah, the dolphin bottle, I think. I did. Oh, yeah. That was crazy. The funny, I'll never get over when you go, it has a straw. Because I didn't even know what you meant at first when you said it has a straw.
01:19:13 You go, why are you drinking it like this? It has a straw. And I was like, what are you talking about? like you're stupid, but I'm stupid. You said, oh my God. I like this chat because it reminds me I am not the loneliest man on the internet. Actually pretty cool and normal.
01:19:27 I don't sleep in a race car bed. Chin might. Yeah. I give chin a pass because his organs are failing. Wompwomp. Chin's the one you call Dr. Hot Chip. He's the one that always got the fire clips. Dr. Field Good Remix.
01:19:39 Got it. All right. Let's see here. Truck winner is from Austin. Yeah. So they're doing some digging. yeah okay can we talk about
01:19:49 do Brian's take on the Theo Vaughn situation posed by Joanna Zanella Shab let's see here about the Theo stuff yeah get Brian's take on it
01:20:01 okay this guy put Theo just bombed saw Theo at the beacon theater for his Netflix tape in uh some of the crowd walked out I mean you know
01:20:08 look I never take any of this says was there left Theo worst set ever he seemed unreheased disorganized
01:20:16 repeated bits multiple times Come at me I can take it Come at me Why were you this off If that's what Fucking moron dude Yeah
01:20:27 And he have an off night Who knows I have off knives I don't know He had to pause the show Asked for the punchline several times This is different though This is different It's actually really bad
01:20:39 Oh my God He says the opposite In the same hat too He's wearing the same clothes when he says, dude, come at me. I can take it. Stop talking about Theo. You're talking about him. I think you're missing the narrative here.
01:20:53 I'm sorry. Because Brendan gets off to Theo being in trouble. So he's trying to tell Brian like, it's different, dude. No, no, no. It's not just an off night. No. And it's not. And on his show, he's like, yeah, Theo sucks. All right? But come at me. You know? Yeah, it's
01:21:10 all stemming from that one thing. He left the show and he fucked up. That and he's a fucking narcissist, dude. Yeah. He's like, I'm way better. I can handle bullshit. Theo can't handle. Look at, he's bombing.
01:21:21 I never bombed. Yeah. He's Tony Supramo. If Theo Vaughn went to Texas, he can't sell out. I sell out every single single. If Fis did stand up again, dude. Yeah. Oh, my God.
01:21:33 This is different. Yeah. This is different. I mean, it'll be fine, though. Yeah. Lay off Theo. No. Then I'll see his issue, you know, with drugs.
01:21:45 He's a long history of drugs. shit there's a lot that goes in crazy yeah yeah get get brine's take on it okay yeah gets brine's take on it he keeps talking oh yeah there's no take i guess that's funny mm-hmm that's funny shop called it um this one's posted by sweet honey jay legends huh six legends one stage no warning shang gillis polly shor brian callin jo rogan rogen ron white tony hitchcliff hmm hmm two legends polly shor and ron white Let's see here David Lynch is my
01:22:19 Bapa versus David Lynch posed by Dandy Kaufman Favorite director So I don't know What those movies mean at all So this is David Lynch level I mean by mistake though What's your favorite David Lynch movie?
01:22:32 Mahal and Drive Or Uh Probably Mahal and Drive Yeah I think so I just saw They're all good though
01:22:44 they're all weird and good. Yeah, they're weird. He's a weird guy. I like him. Hey, man. Hey, this guy's movie sucks. Nah, you're crazy. Yes, dude.
01:22:56 That's awesome. That's when Brandon does his best. That's so funny. I like that. If only he could have that one gear. Yeah. Oh, really? Yeah.
01:23:05 Which ones do well? Well, Mulho and Drive won. I didn't win like Best Picture or something? Dude, the elephant man was a, yeah, 25 years ago. What else you got? 25 years ago, what else you got? Dead, Brendan.
01:23:25 He's dead. Is he? Is he? This guy, dude. Hey, hey, it's well documented. It's well documented. Wait,
01:23:38 what's his name? Unbelievable, bro. You're, you're a crimson of a crimp. Crem de la Cremde. That was... It says years active. David Lynch.
01:23:49 Oh, dude, you know what it is? I thought you said... I thought I'm thinking of... David Fincher. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That doesn't... That makes less sense.
01:24:00 Who creates slappers. Yeah, he's great, too. You brought up this random guy that we got to... He's a literal legend. Like, was a living legend, too, up until he died. It's a wika... man bapa needs to start film reviews dude because his like how bad they would be would make it actually like really entertaining to tune into every week the mat the the the blunt things that he
01:24:24 says are pretty funny blunt humor like that's when he can be actually kind of funny they don't need to be right uh when are we going to be finishing here pretty soon i think pretty soon um they're asking you how the graves is going and it's been flaring up recently I mean I don't know I can't even tell you all the things I've done I've done some shockingly crazy things recently well do two more posts from the Reddit and I'll give you guys a little preview of his flares you don't even remember what it is the subreddit has ruined me posted by Mac 1987 that's crazy I don't want to miss a thing that's that's Mark Harley that's Mark Harley I know if you try explaining to it this is posted by Dandy
01:25:10 Kaufman, too. Beanie and Bean Dip dropping facts on liberals. Let's see here. If you try explaining to a liberal that slavery was wrong, we all hate that, we all agree, did you also know that slaves were entitled to work extra shifts to make money? Some slaves were paid, and not all slaves worked in fields. They'll call you a racist white supremacist. And I'm like, I'm not praising it. I'm telling you about the history.
01:25:33 That's how it was. Frederick Douglass brought his wife's freedom. How does that make sense, right? And wasn't it only like 3 to 6% of actual people own slaves? Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. People think it was like 100% everyone had them.
01:25:47 It was like less than 3% actually on the slaves. This is terrible. You're wrong. Yeah. The great Tim Poole on. He got, Timmy and us go on for about two hours. So hopefully you're enjoying the podcast as of now. If you want the full two hour interview with Tim Poole, head on over the Patreon.
01:26:05 Wow, dude. Five Buccaroos. That was ridiculous. You get that, just five buckaroos and you can get that? Yeah, dude, don't have a coffee one day. Yeah, right, dude. I'll drink more coffee to avoid him. They ask you why or what you're doing.
01:26:22 You're like, just I'm avoiding Shab's Patreon. This is your third coffee today. I'm like, yeah. Shab talks, Chab does a presentation on slavery. All right, I want to give them a preview of the next cowbellulation. Oh shit. Yeah,
01:26:40 this is what you get for fucking being oh my God. So there's a little bit of a flares of graves here so I wanted to show them that. Oh, good.
01:26:53 Let me get the right part of it, those. Okay. Yeah. So we talk about Luigi Mangione a little bit. I don't remember that. You don't remember anything.
01:27:01 No. You talk about your health care. Oh, yes. I do, yes. All right. Check it out, guys. is the preview for this week's
01:27:11 Patreon cabellulations. You cool with this? Ready? Look at how big the beard was. Oh, you know what?
01:27:16 Actually, let me put an end point so I don't go too far. Yeah. That's very important, Chin. Yeah. You're like,
01:27:22 please don't show them anything else. Let's go right there. Because I do say like one or two things that are offensive. Yeah. So that's probably
01:27:31 on the Patreon version. Yeah. Let's see this real quick. Healthnet. I, she's wag. Health net is fucking. They didn't kill my CEO and shit.
01:27:39 Motherfuck saying. Actually, he was just gone. Sometimes the life be like that, though. You'd be gone like gone of 60 seconds, bro. What do you think about the bots on YouTube? Bots? Yeah, the bots. Them people that be leaving comments that are negative and shit
01:27:59 saying Cal Bell not real, bruh. Some people be hating on YouTube, bro. It's like I'm Cal Bell, dog. Would you come here? What'd you expect, bro? Cal Bill. Facts is what you get. And some people don't want facts.
01:28:11 Some people want you to lie to them. Cal Bell. Tell you that. I don't want they want Cala to come out and be like, I'm not different. Okay. I'm not ten toes down. I'm not, I'm not fucking, I ain't got no violence in my DNA and shit. I ain't going to lie to you.
01:28:25 I'm going to tell you how it is. I ain't never sure could. Sure. I couldn't. Some people leave. All right. Yeah. That's it right there.
01:28:32 I love it. Cal Bell is different. I got to tell him. I got to say that. He's very. good. Cowbell is fire. I like how you class the question.
01:28:43 Fire? Cowbells fuego? Mas fuego. But yeah, if you want some of that, it should be up either tomorrow morning or the next day. I'm going to be editing for the rest of the night tonight. Shout out to all of you guys for coming through. When the graves take so over, only cowbell remains. Cowbell is all loved brother. Calvo with some salsa on top.
01:29:11 Cowball spicy. You know, it's funny. He's like, I can't imagine what T-Fat K's Patreon is, but our Patreon is pretty late, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We got Calvo, dude. They got a guy talking about our slavery's not that bad.
01:29:22 Yeah. That's on their page. And come to our slavery, or slavery. Come to our Patreon where we're like, you know, we talk about the good parts of slavery. Only $5 a month. You get to hear them all about it.
01:29:36 All right, y'all. Well, shout out to you guys for coming through. I think we're going to end here, dude. Another great week of some Brennan Shop content, dude. Thank him. And how many likes? 160, huh? Not enough.
01:29:48 Well, very bad. We'll be surprised if I'll wake up in the morning. All righty. All right. Peace out, guys. You're rocks. Oh!
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