40ish - Unfiltered - Credit cards, Costco crisis and Melted chocolate

Episode Date: April 29, 2025

This week on Unfiltered. Nicole spirals into an existential crisis in Costco when she convinces herself Lauren is about to dump her. Meanwhile Lauren is making a total fool out of herself during a business lunch in a moment so 40ish it could go in a text book.  Plus, there is a post Easter meltdown (quite literally) when a chocolate egg hunt goes awry. Tune in for rants, questionable advice, and the usual midlife chaos! We would love to hear from you! To share your feedback, dilemmas, rants, funny stories or general complaints about midlife please be in touch at: Email [e-mail] Instagram https://www.instagram.com/40ish.podcast  TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@40ish.podcast Facebook  https://www.facebook.com/share/DVQWb6y2vesgeHEK/?mibextid=LQQJ4d  To order our book HAVE YOU TRIED THIS?” click here  https://www.amazon.co.uk/Have-You-Tried-This-Only/dp/1801293139/ref=sr_1_2?crid=1O7EA4ZF1O5CS&keywords=have+you+tried+this&qid=1699449028&sprefix=have+you+tried+%2Caps%2C125&sr=8-2 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hello everybody. Welcome to 40ish Unfiltered. I'm Nicole Goodman. And I'm Laura Mishcon. This is the special sidekick show to Fortyish where we dish out all the feedback, don't we, from our listeners, what they've got to say about the dilemmas, what's going on for them this week. And we do Midlife Meltdown, which is actually becoming my favourite part of the whole show, the whole two shows, Midlife Meltdown. Makes me feel not alone. Well, I share mine, you share yours, and then a listener very kindly shares theirs,

and then we decide who's the winner or loser. Before we jump into the show, can I please remind you about our subscription on the ACK It podcast, where you can, for 4.99 months, get early access to all of our shows at Self Care Club and 40ish. And you get everything ad free plus some bonus episodes. So you definitely want to come be a part of that. And thank you to all of our new subscribers. That is growing week on week and we are delighted to have you. So you can find that on Apple podcast

and we would love to have you in our subscription. So what's your midlife meltdown this week? Oh my god, I had such a turn. A turn? I mean, I really went there in my head. You know when you get, you probably don't because you don't really get anxiety, but you know when you have like these ruminating thoughts that then spiral into a whole, actually no you do do this.

I do do this. You catastrophizing. Yeah, I do do it a lot. Yeah. You actually do catastrophize quite a lot for someone that doesn't suffer with anxiety. You do like to catastrophize. I really do enjoy it. It's almost a hobby. Do you actually enjoy it? No, I hate it. Well, I did it. Okay. I did it about you. Oh, that's nice. So I went to Costco. Oh, we're back to Costco again. And let me tell you something. I went to Costco. Oh, we're back to Costco again. Let me tell you something. I went to Costco on Good Friday because I had so many people for tea, which I told you

about on the show. Was it a good Friday at Costco? It was so awful in there. You had to queue in each aisle to get out in and out of each aisle. It was a mob. I've never seen anything like it. I mean, do you think when they put Jesus on the cross, they foresaw the cues at Costco that it was going to cause? Do you know what I mean? There was no forward thinking there. It's just caused mayhem around April, hasn't it? I think when Jesus was on the cross, you know that Costco didn't exist. I just don't think that it really thought that one through. But anyway, you were going to think that one through. How are they supposed to do that? You were in

Costco. I was in Costco. Yeah. Anyway, I get a message from you. I went from the gym to Costco and I'm in the gym and you said, are you around later? And I said, oh, I'm on my way to Costco. Are you jealous? Because normally you're very jealous of me going to Costco. Yeah. Anyway, you didn't pick up on that joke at all. And you just said, I need to talk to you. And I said, all right, well, what's going on? Is everything all right? Not really. I can't really text it. It needs a conversation. I don't think in all the years that we've been friendly, that you have ever said anything of the sort. So then I called you, you didn't answer. You're like, no, no, I can't speak now. So I'm like, what the fuck has happened? I said, you're really worrying

me. And you're like, no, no, I'm fine. But I just need to speak to you in person about something. Well, let me tell you now that shit went awry. So I drive over to Costco and I'm like, what the fuck could she possibly need to tell me in person that she can't tell me on the phone and she can't text it? What the fuck has happened? I was very scared. I even asked you about your eye appointment. You said, no, no, my eyes are fine. No, I mean, I actually still don't know about the eyes. I still haven't had a response. But worryingly, I did get an NHS text message offering me counseling and support. I was like, are you about to tell me I've got eye cancer? Because if you are, could you tell me that before you offer me the counseling and support? Because now I am worried. So I phoned them and I was like,

Hi, do you have the results of my eye stuff yet? They were like, No, we might have sent a letter, but we might not have done so we'll just send another letter. I was like, hi, do you have the results of my stuff yet? They were like, no, we might have sent a letter, but we might not have done. So we'll just send another letter. I was like, yeah, maybe you could do that. Thanks. What do you mean we might have sent a letter? That was what she said. We might have sent you a letter. I was like, well, I haven't received a letter.

She's like, okay, we'll send you another letter. I was like, yeah, or you could just tell me on the phone. No, we can't do that. I was like, is there an app? No. You're the only person in the world that has ever been offered free counseling, by the way. And you're the only thing you're probably the only person in the world that won't take it. I'm also now really worried about why they're free.

Why did they? Was it just a random? I don't know yet. We didn't ask. No, no, that was just a separate text message. I'm saying it was a separate offer. It was nothing to do with the eye hospital. They wouldn't know. One arm doesn't, the left arm doesn't talk to the right anyway. Anyway, if it was about, I'm in Costco and I'm ruminating and I'm starting to lose the plot. Like what the fuck could she possibly tell me? I then decided you wanted to break up with me. I then decided this is what you needed to tell me that, oh my God, she's going to break up with me. Out of the blue, out of the blue. Like, what have I done? And I'm like going through like the last few interactions

we've had. And I thought, I don't think I've done anything. And then I'm trying to talk myself like some sense. Like you haven't done anything like nothing has happened. And you're like, Oh my God. When she bought those M&S loafers and then I slagged them off in the lift. Was that it? Was that the point? Like, was that the moment? Yeah. Is there a moment that I have like completely missed? Yeah. But I've completely misread. Interesting. Is this the moment? Is this the moment that my career has to make a change? What the fuck am I going to do? What the fuck am I going to do if maybe she's not breaking up and maybe she just doesn't want to do the podcast anymore? And then what am I going to do? I love my podcast. Oh my God. Am I going to have to do a podcast on my own? I

don't want to do a podcast on my own. What am I going to talk about? I don't want to talk about the menopause. I don't want to talk about neurodiversity. They are not fun podcasts. What am I going to do? All of this in your own head was pushing a trolley up. I was barely pushing the trolley because you couldn't get in and out of anywhere because it was so packed in it. It was so awful Lauren. I was having a proper panic attack about it. Actually it wasn't a proper panic attack because I've had many of those. I wasn't like couldn't breathe, but I was like really, really worried. I don't even know what I bought in Costco.

And then you said to me when you turned up at my house about half an hour after I'd gotten home from Costco, how was Costco? Did you enjoy it? I'm not fucking didn't enjoy it. I've had a nervous breakdown in Costco. What the fuck is going on? And then you just sat down at the kitchen table and said, I don't want to do a neurodiversity podcast on my own. It was like, what? What do you mean? Why are you doing a neurodiversity podcast on your own? Who's making you? But I don't want to. I was like, you don't have to. Why? Why do you have to? I'm like, because you're going to break up with me and I really don't want to talk about the menopause and what's left. I'm like, what? What's going on here? I'm not breaking up with you. What's happening?

What? What's happened? Anyway, it was about some fucking legal thing and I was such a bore. The thing that you had to talk to me about was such a bore. I understand why you couldn't text it to me, but I couldn't text it to you because, because while you were having a full existential crisis in Costco, I had spent two hours researching what a make good is in a contract. I don't know because I'm not a lawyer, but as head of legal, that was my responsibility. You know, you could have just given a heads up of, oh, it's about the contract. But it was so long to explain. But you could have just used the word contract and then I wouldn't have thought you were breaking up.

It was just the company we were working with and they were like, can you put a make good? And I'm like, oh my God, I don't want to be an idiot, but also what's a make good? And also what if I put it in and then we get sued and then Nicole, and then I have to talk to her about it before I like put it in the contract. So I did all the research, got all my ducks in a row and hit you up with

it. And then after all of that, after your drama, my drama, I don't worry. We don't need the make good. Actually we thought about it. We don't need it. I'm like, Oh my God. I have like, I am now like the Britain's leading expert on what a make good is. I've given myself like stress anxiety. You've had a nervous breakdown. I was about to start a neurodiversity podcast. Yeah. Yeah. I mean it was, it's spiraled. Spiraled was an understatement. Okay. So I'm like, so you're not breaking up with me. You're like, what? Yeah. Oh, I'm really pleased because I really love this podcast. It was, it was a bit of a weird, it was weird afternoon. Next time, just a heads up. Okay. Heads up because that's where

my mind goes. Okay. But just goes to like worst case, which I realized is not worst case scenario. And then I actually even went because your dad is very active on Facebook. Yeah. Very active. And then I thought, what if something happens to like one of her parents? I went on your dad's Facebook to check like, check. He wasn't dead. Not dead. I didn't think. I didn't think. I didn't think he had died. I just thought maybe, I don't know. I went to a really dark place. Anyway, he'd just posted some memes six minutes ago. So I thought, oh, well, he's okay. Brilliant. Of course he had. Thanks, Ross. Amazing. So what's your midlife meltdown? I mean, I can't even compete. I mean, I had my own legal meltdown. Oh, yeah. That's mine.

Yeah. Also, what else has happened? I mean, quite a lot has happened. I could spread this across many shows. I went for lunch at my mom's and we were talking about my friends and neighbors on Apple TV. Right. That face and my mom, my mom said, Oh, you have me. He's, he's, he's, oh, there are no words. John Ham, you are so fine. My mum said, Oh, you had me at John Ham. And then I sat at the lunch table thinking me and Jackie fancy the same person problematic. That was me and my 16 year old sometimes fancy the same person. That is really problematic. It's all problematic. That was problematic. That was one meltdown. Also, what else was my meltdown? Oh yeah, we had lunch with the head of Apple podcast editorial team. You know, it was a proper

business lunch. We were actually taking him out for lunch. Flex. And we had this really lovely lunch was very sophisticated in town in an Italian. There was wine. There was a pasta course. there was meat. It was like a really elegant lunch, wasn't it? Just what you want to do on a Wednesday. Yeah. And it was raining in London. It was all fantastic.

Yeah, like it was work, but it didn't feel like work. And he is the, he is just so fabulous. So we just loved being with him, didn't we? We had a wonderful time and we were taking him out for lunch. So the bill arrived. The bill arrived. It's so embarrassing. The bill arrived. It was so embarrassing so I get out of our work.

Also, I'd left my credit cards at home. Yeah. Right. And normally, yeah, normally we have a business account together that we share. But normally that is on my Apple pay, but I had to take it off my Apple pay because it was the default card and Daisy kept buying her Deliveroo's and Froyo. There's a lot of Froyo that's come out of our business from our business account. Yeah. And I couldn't work out how to make a different card, the default card. So anyway, I took it. No, because I'm explaining why I took it off. Yeah. So I go to pay the bill with our actual physical card. Yeah. Like a geriatric and then I get my apple and then even worse I get my phone out because he doesn't know the pain. So he then goes, why aren't you using apple pay? Well, no, you can't cause

it's over. It was over a hundred pounds. You can use apple pay. You can't tap it with a hundred pounds. But when he was, when it was, when he said like, you know, the guy that's worked at Apple for a long, long time says, why aren't you using Apple Pay? And then I explained that whole really long story that I just explained about the delivery room and the pro you. Anyway, I'm like, then I get my phone out. And because I am middle aged and I believe this is the midlife meltdown. I have to keep some pin numbers and things I can't remember like my Apple ID, my hotmail. Yes, I do have hotmail, my hotmail password on my phone. And I'd obviously had my phone open to notes when I'd been on my phone and I had deleted all my pin codes, all my pass codes, basically my life. I had

deleted, but I hadn't deleted the note because if you delete a note, you can retrieve a note. I'd edited the note. There is no way to unedit an edited note if the notes been closed. It was gone forever. It's stored in the cloud and then you're like, you're going to have to figure that out. I was like, you have to go into the cloud. I don't want to go into the cloud. This is in front of the guy at Apple. I don't want to go into the cloud. I think it's in the cloud, but I don't know how to get to the cloud.

How do you go to the cloud? Anyway, it was just the most embarrassing end. It was so uncool and unslick. It was the opposite of slick. It's fucking sad. No, like clunky. It was just really embarrassing. He was like, he was like, shall I just pay? Do you think he thought it was like a ruse for us to get out of paying? I don't know. I ended up paying on my Apple

pay with my personal account. Yeah, it was really embarrassing. Then I went home and then that came home like two hours later and he found me sitting in the kitchen looking like really dejected. He was like, what's going on? I was like, I don't know how to find the cloud. He was like, mom, mom, please give me your phone. Just give me your phone now. And then he went into it all. You can't find the cloud. Whatever. He went into my phone. He was like, mama, I'm really sorry, but you've edited the note. So I can't retrieve it. He's like, it's fine when you don't know passcode, just phone the bank. So this is how I live now with no access to anything. This is my life. Just to make matters worse, I can't get into our bank account. I can get into our

bank account, but I don't know the pin so we can only spend under £100 unless it's an online purchase. And this is how you run a business. Okay. This was amazing because you said to me, oh, I know what the pin is is blah blah blah blah blah just remember it because of this yeah and then you wrote you wrote it down yeah so then I go to put it in the app it didn't work didn't it it is correct though it's on two different devices. It's a banking app. It's never going to be the same pin. You were so confident. Oh, it's blah, blah, blah. I'm going to just text it to you. And then I said to you today, what's in our account? I asked you something about the bank account and you were like, just use the app in a really sloppy way. I'm like,

I can't get, I gave you the pin. I'm like, it didn't work because I need my own pin. Yeah. And I've somehow, I think you probably did that. There's, I've got a two step verification program on there now. I wouldn't have done it. The best feels very you. The best thing was when we had to go and set up the bank account, we had to go in per, do you remember. We had to go in person together to this random building in the middle of like Hendon and sit in a weird room with this man. And he asked us all these questions and we were like, we don't know. It was such a farce. And then he just ended up laughing because he was such dicks. We're like make sure you listen to the podcast.

Right, let's get on to some feedback. Okay. Um, rhubarb. Oh, rhubarb. I'll tell you how it started with the rhubarb. Please write on Thursday show. Lauren was talking about her rhubarb compote as if it's the most normal thing in the world. You know, like everyone makes rhubarb compote. Don't you? How much do you think about rhubarb? How much do you eat rhubarb? What do you do with rhubarb? Where do you buy rhubarb? Is it part of your Ocado shot? There are a lot of questions about rhubarb. And I'm like, never think about rhubarb. Never fucking eat rhubarb. Eat the odd rhubarb and I'm like never think about rhubarb never fucking eat rhubarb eat the odd rhubarb and custard ball sweep that is literally about it anyway you like under the assumption that everyone makes rhubarb compote well not everyone makes rhubarb compote but like it didn't feel weird to me to make it

tell me one of your friends that makes rhubarb compote my friend Catherine she would definitely make it she's got an allotment she probably probably grows it. You know, you know, when you tell me that like my gym people, it's good that I have these people. Yeah. It's good that you have Catherine. It's good. I'm never going to have an allotment. No, you're not. No, you can make rubab compote together. Totally. We probably have. Anyway, anyway. Yeah. So someone actually replied this morning saying I've never made rhubarb compote in my entire life. I've actually made a list Nicole. I've actually made a list and I've called it team Nicole, team Lauren. I've put it under the heading rhubarb. Okay. But it, well you put up a poll. I would say that was quite divisive. No, because we said it on the show. You think that's divisive? Yeah. Why? I think you were trying to make

me look like a rhubarb freak. That's what I think. I think you were trying to other me. You know what? I don't feel other. I've had a lot of validation. No, you have not. I have. No, you haven't. I've got it in black and white right in front of me. Well, I haven't seen it. It doesn't exist. I don't know. I'm going to read it to you. It doesn't. You could have made it up. You can go into it. You can go into Instagram better than I. Well, when I last checked it, it was like 92 percent. Nobody had made rhubarb. Oh, OK. Well, there's a difference. There's a poll. The results are here. I wrote them down. You you are supposed to. do you make rhubarb compote? Do people make compote was the poll.

No rhubarb compote. And the option. No it says rhubarb compote. Yeah and the options were no never. Yeah. Yes sometimes. Yes all the time. Who's making it all the time? That was not fair. It wasn't.

You've got that wrong. I haven't. I'm really sorry. Go on go into it. I feel like you are going to it. You are I cut and pasted. Right. It says, Oh, do you make comfort? Yes. All the time. No, never. Yes. Okay. You are correct. Thank you. Right. Right. We are now on there is one vote for yes. All the time. One. It wasn't me. I swear. 64% says no, never. Okay. And 32% says yes sometimes. Well, I'm still winning. Team Nicole is still winning. So under team Nicole, Sarah B said I'm 45. I've never made compote, never have. Nobody

in my house would appreciate it or want it. Yep. Okay. I'm with her. Dami says I'm originally from Romania and in wintertime we used to make compote all the time as kids. It was our treat after school. Okay. Doesn't, but she didn't say what, cause I read that one and she didn't actually say whether she makes it now. No, she didn't. Katie Elizabeth says, I don't know if that's team Lauren or team. Fence, fence. I'm going to call that Switzerland. Even though she says Romania. It's okay. Katie Elizabeth says I have been known to cook rhubarb. It's not a regular thing. But my 12 year old son gets very excited as he loves a crumble. Who doesn't have a crumble? I've just realized something. Yeah, I've just realized something.

My mum makes stewed apple. Yeah, it's the same as apple compote. Isn't it? Yeah. And you know what now happens every Friday night? We have dinner with my parents every Friday night. Yeah. Every Friday night, Daisy asked my mum, Grandma, have you made apple stewed apple? So I actually think maybe I should make

some tonight is it quick to make couldn't be quicker but if you think I'm giving you now what is it you just boil it and add in some sugar well that's all it is you add in some sugar I assume or some honey George says I make rhubarb panna cotta. It's super yummy. Now rhubarb panna cotta. I hate panna cotta, but that is very, very impressive. Also, the domestic goddess as she has named herself is impressed. Wait for it. Also, he says Nigella, the official domestic goddess, dedicates a whole third of her cookbook cook, eat, repeat to rhubarb. Some proper yummy things in there, including rhubarb cocktails. Actually don't like a rhubarb gin either, but what, what? Hold on. The question was, do you make rhubarb compote? I'm going to

put him down as a no. He's elevated. He's got compote. He's gonna panic. Right. But the answer, the question was compote. He hasn't made a call. It's too basic bitch for George. George, I, he's team. Okay. He's probably a bit more team Lauren than anyone else. Sarah T she says, I almost feel the need to apologize to Nicole for being surely one of so many people who are going to message now saying they love cooking with rhubarb. I even grow it in the garden so no need to add it to a necada shop. P.S. Love the show. Oh, blessed for wanting to apologize to me. That is very nice. Someone who has never even

met me wants to apologize and look, then still carrying on then I mean I am surprised I'll last night I'm at home me only is the compote still sat in your fridge because if it is I'm gonna be upset well it's being eaten it's in a Tupperware anyway yesterday I understand that yeah I didn't think it was smeared over the fridge actually had it for lunch yesterday how long can you keep it for? I would say at least four days in a sealed container. Me, Zach, Ollie are in the kitchen. I would say you'd need to chuck it tomorrow then.

Probably. Zach says, Mom, I need to talk to you. Yes, Zach, what's the problem? I've just opened my TikTok. I was on TikTok yesterday and a video came up where you are talking about friendly cock mum. It has to stop. And, and Ollie's looking at me like very quizzical. Ollie pays little or no attention. I know exactly what we were talking about. And I, and I'm like,

yeah, so it's got anything to do with rhubarb. No, you're sort of, I said, yeah, we're talking about white lotus, Jason Isaacs, prosthetic penis. It was friendly. He was like, mom, you said the words friendly cock on TikTok. You're my mother. It has to stop. He's right. You know, mom, it has to stop. And he's like, what do you mean? I thought you talked about middle aged things. I was like, it was about white lotus. It was a very viral moment. Everyone on the internet was talking about the prosthetic. Like it's, it's fine. It's fine. I said, anyway, normally it's very boring. Normally like this week we've talked about rhubarb. Well, he was like, what? Why did you write rhubarb? I said, because I said,

I made rhubarb compote and Nicole was like, he was like, oh, she made Ruebarg compote. Where is it? It's in the fridge. I'd love to live with you. I would love to walk in and look in my fridge at the end of a day. And there is Ruebarg compote sat there and I'm going to have it with yogurt for dessert after dinner. I mean, I would be so made up. He was really pleased. Of course he was. Yeah. Well, Schmott wouldn't be pleased. And it also deflected beautifully. Away from the friendly cock.

We got shadow bad on TikTok for that. Yeah, we did. For using the word penis. Becca, don't cut this again. No. We got shadow bad for penis. I mean, there are a lot worse things on Tik Tok than us using the word. It's anatomically correct. It's not even a rude word. Why don't we then

get your shadow band for friendly cook? We are now. You know what I mean? It's weird. Isn't it? Yeah. We've had, not that I know what shadow band means, but I was just following Becca who's young, but I really liked the way you said it with like full authority there. I know. But Becca said it. So I thought I'd just go with it. Yeah. Shadow band. Yeah. We totally know what that means. Yeah. We had a voice note feedback. Is it about re-bob? No. Would you like to hear it? Are we done with? Hold on. Oh, you're just moving on. Yeah. You, you got more to say. I'm just saying that like you did a whole divisive list of team Lauren, team Nicole. Well, we haven't come to the conclusion over who's the winner. That's to be a winner. That's

to be a winner. The thing about Nicole is that always has to be a winner. It's always a competition. No, it's not. Has to be a winner. That's actually not true. Who's the winner? Well, me because it was 64%. And... And... And... And... And... And... And...

And... And... And... And... And... And... And... And...

And... And... And... And... And... And... And... And...

And... And... And... And... And... And... And... I'm currently in Muscat. It was something of a dream holiday except on the flight from Istanbul to Muscat I severed my thumb tendons with a little wine bottle. Please don't make any judgment there. I just want to say a big thank you because for the last five days I've had to hold my arm in the air, stay dry, stay cool, basically stay in the hotel room when I can see this wonderful sea and this wonderful swimming pool. It's my absolute dream because I'm a water baby and frankly your company has been invaluable so I think it was fate that the week

before I traveled I was listening to an audiobook and had all of your podcasts stacked up. Thank you again it means a lot and wishing you all the best. Take care, bye. Can't you say I love her voice. Can I just say she would be good on my new podcast when you dumped me. Wouldn't she? She's got a great voice. Great voice. I mean, I'm totally sexy. Yeah, sexy. I'm totally not judging for the wine on the plane, but also like how do you sever a, and how much blood was there on that flight? Those air hostesses must've gone in, sorry, flight attendants. You are so dark.

That is, I'm just saying, but you automatically, you just, you just, dark. And all I'm hearing is, right? Well, I didn't hear any of that. All I heard was, oh my God, we kept her company through a few really miserable days and we lifted her spirit and she is like loving us so much that she went to the effort to leave us a voice note on our emails. To be fair, she can't type. She's got no use of that. I prefer the voice now. I'm here for the voice note and all you're wondering is how much blood there was. I mean, that is the difference between you and me. On a plane as well.

I've had feedback about our live show. Oh, right. Our imaginary live show. It's not an imaginary live show. Now people, you know, because I put it on Instagram, people keep coming up to me going, oh, you're doing a live show. It's so exciting. I just go with it.

Yeah, we're doing a live show. Okay. Right. Yeah. Right. So we're doing a live show. Okay. We don't know where or when, but we are doing one. Right. I think we've got the venue. I think I've got the venue down. Yeah. Um, brilliant. Sorry. I thought an email just came in about more rhubarb, but it wasn't false alarm. False alarm. Yeah. Um, anyway, yeah. I even, you know, I told you about my friend Toby, who

I was playing, who we were playing paddle with. And then he listened to the show because I did a segment on paddle and he wanted to hear it. And now he's apparently a fan. And those are all about smear tests. That is great, which is great. I think not so great for Toby, but he's informed. He's definitely informed and he says he's a fan and he says that he would come to the live show because I asked him. Okay. So we've got one person in the audience. Just heckle us. That'd be brilliant. And also he asked us if we have merch. Right. I mean, we do have a merch store for self care club. Yeah, we do have a merch store. Yeah. But mean, we do have a merch store for self care club. Yeah. We do

have a merch store. Yeah. But what can we do for 40? We'd have to have like a lot of middle aged things. I've actually got something that I think could be the first thing in our merch store. An apron. No, it's even more tragic than that. Um, anyway, I'll probably save this for another week, but it turns out I'm going to have to start taking more, another bit of medication of a morning. And I said to my friend, I think for my next birthday, you could buy me a pill box for my pills. And she was like, the actual term is dosit box. I was like, great dosit box. And then she just went off and one, she was like, great Dossett box. And then she just went off and when she was like, you know what? I'm thinking duck egg blue. You could pretend

it was Tiffany's. You could totally get away with that. Maybe you're like a Liberty fabric. Well, you couldn't do much in duck egg blue. Well, you could, you actually could. So I'm feeling like our first thing should be a Dossett box. Because what I'm learning is as middle age happens, so do pills. Pills apparently start happening. This is the future. Lean in, make it chic, make it attractive. And if I've got to delve into my handbag of a morning and put out a dosse box, I want it to say 40 ish on there. put out a dosse box. I want it to say 40 ish on there. I want it to look nice. You want it to say 40 ish on there. So that's the first thing I'm putting out there for me. I was thinking more like coasters. Coasters.

Yeah. It's quite middle aged. Coasters are very middle aged. It really is. Yes. Yes. I mean, I use coasters in my house. Do you? You're a coaster kind of house. Do you know what? I don't. I own them and I should use them, but I can't be shagged. I'm so happy that you can't be shagged. I really am because that would fuck me off if you could. Like every time I came to a house, I had to use a coaster. Yeah. That would be annoying. And you've got a new table and you don't make use a coaster. I don't do I know. So coasters. Okay. Yep. Coasters, aprons. Like what else could we use? What else is middle aged water bottles? They are very, they are like coffee cups on the go. That's very middle aged. Yeah, that is middle aged. I'm feeling like some

sort of bra that women actually want to wear. Well, Toby can't wear that. That's very middle aged. Yeah, that is middle aged. I'm feeling like some sort of bra that women actually want to wear. Well, Toby can't wear that. That's not good for Toby. I mean, Toby could. I mean, probably some sort of supplement, some sort of hemorrhoid cream, some sort of eye bag. We can't move into medicine and lingerie. You're Gwyneth Paltrow did. You're getting ahead of yourself. Gwyneth Paltrow did. She didn't move. She didn't go into supplements.

Some sort of candle that smells of middle age. What's the middle age smell? It's like deek and HRT, isn't it? HRT doesn't smell. It probably does. It doesn't. I don't know why I'm getting defensive about that. Like I somehow invented HRT, but it doesn't. You're telling me I smell of HRT. So you're telling me. I think it smells. Listen, I might, I actually reek. I tell you when I smell is when I haven't taken my fucking HRT, then I reek of the shit.

I think it smells of like aching joints, mild disappointment. That's not a smell. It is. It isn't. It's an evocative feeling. I want to put that into the candle. Maybe rhubarb. A rhubarb candle. Yeah. There's a reason that there are no candles. I have the rhubarb and ibuprofen. That's the smell because that's basically where it goes to. Right.

Just take a lot of ibuprofen. R H. We should really have a collab with Neurofen. Yeah. Yeah. Well, Volteral. Yeah. Volteral. Yeah. Well, those heat pads. Um, anyway, we've got a listener meltdown. Come on then I want to hear it. Hi, Lauren and Nicole. I have a post Easter related meltdown. On Easter Sunday, my husband, God bless him, took charge of the Easter egg hunt. He'd been up since eight o'clock hiding eggs all over the house and the garden. We unleashed the children who were bursting with sugar-fueled anticipation with their baskets. An hour later, the hunt was declared successful. The kids were hyper on sugar and Daddy was named the Easter egg king. But here is the thing about being the king. Sometimes you

miss things. In his royal haste, he had forgotten about the three medium-sized lint bunnies he had tucked behind the radiator in the living room. He thought it was a brilliant hiding spot. Ladies, it was not. Fast forward to Tuesday morning. The kids are back at school and he is back at work. The dog wanders into the kitchen and starts break dancing, then vomiting. In the vomit are pieces of shiny foil. I trace the vomit trail to my living room where there is a large smear of chocolate across my pale grey carpet which has also dripped down the entire back of the radiator. I spent the next two hours at the emergency vet and scrubbing my ruined carpet feeling like Charlie in the fucking chocolate factory.

Oh dear. And with a hefty vet bill at the end of it, I would imagine. Oh dear, dear, dear. And what a waste of lint bunnies because they're really nice. And really expensive. I actually bought my husband the salted caramel lint bunny and it was so pretty I sort of had it out in the kitchen on display and then yesterday I just bit its head off. Tell me your menopausal without telling me your menopausal. You actually bit, you actually bit his head off. Yeah. It's better than you biting everybody else's head off. Isn't it?

Yeah. You actually bit his head off. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Therapist would have a fucking field day on that. Oh dear. I mean her meltdown is horrific. That's horrific. What a plava. I'm sorry. What a hefty vet bill. All the clearing up. She is definitely the winner. Oh, she's definitely the winner. Definitely the winner. Although I did think that my Costco meltdown was quite special and you with the credit card, it was no longer having access to any of my cards or my pen or my emails. When we were leaving the restaurant, you just sort of like waved your hand at me like you're going to have to deal with that. Excuse me. You're head of tech. I am head of tech. Yeah. You know what? We're all losers this week. We're all winners and losers. Well,

I'm not a loser because you didn't break up with me and I don't have to do. And you've got my compote recipe now for life. I've forgotten it. I have. Yeah. I have. Yeah. Anyway, I'm really sorry. And I hope your dog's okay. More to the point. Cause that's the most important part of the story. And also your carpet. And also what a fucking idiot he is to stick it down a radiator. And also why is your heating salon? We've had some chilly days. I know, but have you put your heating on? I haven't. I'm like, I refuse now. Now the hit. No, I'm saying to my husband, put a jumper on. I'm sorry. He's like, I'm cold in my own house. I don't care. It's like that. That is mom vibes. Yeah. It's like, no, the heating

is not going on until at least mid September. Now that is the very earliest. Love that for you. Do you? Yeah. Aren't you the same? Mine's kind of on a nest thing. So it just does the same. Oh, it does upstairs. It does upstairs. I didn't, I didn't get the nest thing, but we can talk about that another time. Cause I've heard the heating off is never off. Okay. Save it. It's a whole episode on Toon. I'm just giving you the highlights. Bet you can't wait to tune in on Thursday now, can you?

We will be back on Thursday. Please keep your feedback coming in. Please keep your messages coming in. You can email us hello at 40ish.co.uk. Come find us on our socials at 40ish.co.uk come find us on our socials at 40ish.podcast that's on instagram and on tiktok this video is now going out on Spotify and YouTube we're literally literally everywhere yeah everywhere and nowhere on the present yet nowhere yeah yet everywhere yeah interesting we're only everywhere if you are listening and watching.

We'll be back on Thursday. Bye. Welcome to Suddenly Single, the podcast where we dive deep into the wild world of love, romance and everything dating. That's right. I'm Siobhan. alongside Tim each week we're joined by celebrity guests who share their unique dating story. Whether you're navigating the ups and downs of dating sites or just looking for some love inspiration, we've got you covered. Remember, you're not alone when it comes to dating.

Sometimes it's sad, but it's always funny. And that's just Tim on his first dates. So join us every week on Suddenly Single.