A Lot On Your Plate - Our Ultimate Beauty List, Single In Your 30s & Should I Tell His Fiancée?

Episode Date: September 29, 2026

This week we're finally sharing our ultimate beauty list! From hairdressers, nail techs and facialists to aesthetics, massages, hair removal and everything in between, we're going head to toe with the people and places we always use and recommend. And don't worry, we'll be putting the full list with all the links in the newsletter too 💌Then we get into your stories and dilemmas, including one of you whose ex has started texting again... except after a little digging, she's discovered he now has a fiancée AND a baby on the way. Does she tell her? 👀We're also hearing from our single girlies in their 30s about building the life you actually want, whether that's still hoping to find love or deciding to stop waiting and becoming a mum on your own. Plus, some of the craziest things you've ever done... Got a story or dilemma you'd like to share? Pop us a DM on socials or email [e-mail]!And remember you can sign up to Patreon for extra episodes every week plus bonus vlog-style content, competitions, group chat, early access to tickets and looooads more! See you there piggies 💖 patreon.com/ALotOnYourPlate Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Happy Tuesday. Happy, Happy Tuesday. Welcome back to another week of a lot of new plate podcast with me, Zoe. And me, Jess. We are doing a doubler, as you can tell if you're looking on YouTube, we have the same outfit on. But that doesn't mean we haven't got a shit ton to talk to you about. I'm off to Budapest on Monday,

flying back early to my girl's 30th party. Ooh, who, who, who. And Zoe is off to Paris. Paris. So that's why we're doing a doubler because we'll have so much shit to talk to you about next week, which I can't wait about. No, I know we'll have a lot to dissect.

I'm going to Mulanage. Anyway, we're not talking about that. I'll tell you when I'm back how it was. I'm so excited. But on today's episode, we are going to give you the promised list of places, practitioners, beauticians, astitions,

everyone that we go to for all different sorts of things. From makeup to bumhole washing, we have it all. and then we're going to talk to about some dilemmas that we have in one about a single pod piggy we have one about

a pod piggy's ex is having a baby and he is still messaging her and then we have another lovely email about dating your 30s slash IVF being a single parent so I love it I also have a tech talk that I would like to dissect with it

It's funny. We love it. We love a good funny old TikTok. So, where do you want to start my love? Right, let's start from the top of the head to the toe. I think we do. From my head to my toes. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Right, okay, let's begin. But then that's not in order of my list, though, then, Zos. We might miss something out. You'll need to... Tick as we go? Yeah, you'll need to tick as we go, I'm afraid. Because I'm not looking at the list, so I need it in my head.

Holy shit. But I can mention the part and you can look. Go for it. Right, so me hair. For colour recently, I've been going to collect Mitchell hair at Blondie in Baudville. And I've also been there for a couple of updoes, cut and blow drys recently. I think they're all amazing. I've also been to Florence Nielsen in the past who works at Ferenzi,

which is down like Alowa away. So it's a bit further. Who's amazing at colour as well? She is amazing at colour, isn't she? so that's my hair. Ooh. I have been going to Mr. Jack Baxter for about nine years now.

He's my boy. That's a loyal customer right there. I'm a loyal customer. I'm a loyal customer. I'm a little bit of times. I have my hair done by my good friend Harriet, who's based down in London. She is now mobile.

So if you are based down that way, she is incredible. Harriet full of hair on Instagram. And I have blow dries by Jack sometimes, but I go to Martin at Blondie in Bothewell. love him. Gives me a great blowy. He'll love that.

Cheaky boy. He's great. Botox. Botox. Again, few people, but who, I go to Fiona now.

Do you? I go to Fiona at the aesthetics club as well. But I've also been to Jessica head aesthetics who I think equally as amazing. Your results were incredible to her. I just couldn't get in one time

and went back to Fiona. Yeah. I love seeing Fiona because she's her Yeah, yeah, we love Fiona. I first ever had Botox by Zara at Skins Aesthetics. I've also had her. Still to this day, she is the fucking goat. I love Zara so much.

Even though I don't go to her now as much, I kind of wish I could. Do like, I just, she's just amazing. And I actually have never been to a new salon. So I'm still at Zara Stan, even though I don't go to her. Still support her from afar. Love Fiona. I just think the aesthetics club is such an advanced, incredible. establishment establishment because that is also in Edinburgh stockbridge

London and Glasgow few locations in Glasgow so yeah we highly recommend you go to aesthetics club for things such as hydrophatials M-scort they do there micro-needling they stock brands like CO skinciticals all of the best advanced advanced I don't know, equipment or things that you've seen or heard about. For skin, you know, we'll probably know about it. I think she knows about everything in that department. Yeah, yeah, it's pretty good. Brows?

Browse, I recently went to Heather at niche browcoat, and I have to admit, I've always been one who just tints my brows at home because they're so fair we've spoke about that. And doesn't really do much because they're so blonde. And I was actually thinking when I was getting ready this morning, and me were away. No wonder people get their brows done every month.

because I look so much more alive with just having done and it's so easy just to put a wee bit of gel on and they're done so I really recommend Heather is brilliant I've just recently not going to Heather as well and she's really good

she takes great detail into the whole start to finish of it she only works on Thursdays at Head Bath which Head Bath is always on a list but we'll go down there later I also went previously and now she went off for maternity to First Beauty in Udingston

she was incredible as well we loved her yeah loved love a local girl as well you know yeah so good and

lashes um I was going to first beauty I think before she went in maternity if I had my actual lash extensions I cannot see past Nat

at Fancy Nat has also started doing Korean lash lifts so I went to Nat recently and it was brilliant but that's where Jilly goes to for her fox lashes if you have hooded eyes apparently

it's a really good look for that but I really love Nat Fancy I go to Carly also glam in Bell's Hill And you love her don't you know Her lash lifts are amazing Really? Changes my whole face

Yeah At the airport you all kept me like Why do you look glamorous It's my lashes Yeah I feel like lash lifts just bright and everything up It opens up everything doesn't it It does

It does It does It does And less tired Because I have like I need to get my lashes tinted All the time as well but I have quite long, thick lashes

but they're not, they're quite straight, I would say. I don't feel like they used to be, but they definitely are now. So unless I curl them, they're just quite... Doof. Yeah, I need them up and out, you know? Like spout. A little peacock. Yep.

Lips. Oh, good one. So lips, I went to Arch and Co Clinic in Manchester about, oh my goodness me, about five years. ago. It's actually Lauren that is the host of Niptuk that did my lip blush. Mm-hmm. That's right. I forget that. I think she might have done my second lot. I don't know if she went for my first. I can't really remember if she did my top of or whatnot. But anyway, Lauren did my lip blush there.

And I've never had it done since. I would love to have it done again, but it completely transformed my lips. If you haven't looked at Arch and Co. Clinic, by the way, have a look at the amazing things that they do for women that have had mastectomies. And they actually can tattoo on a whole nipple. I think that's unreal. It's, it's incredibly. It's, incredible. I'm always certain that it might even be free. I can't remember, but there's something that they do that. It's just so amazing. They also, let's say people have had severe stretch marks in pregnancy or wherever, they do this camouflaging and they can microneedle the scars and then camouflage it and it is borderline invisible.

What the fuck. Yeah, honestly, follow them on Instagram, even if you just want to just follow just for their incredible for and after, but Arch and Co Clinic. They are such an amazing clinic. The machines out there these days are wild. Yeah. So I went to Arch and Co. And I'll be honest, back then when I had my lip blush on, it was well worth the drive because nobody in Glasgow was doing anyway.

Nobody did it. Anyway near as good as Emily Marietta now does. But when I had it done, she weren't doing it then. Yeah. Yeah, that's where I've been. And I've had it done two times. Yeah. Now, twice.

So I went to Emily Marietta at Atiram in Glasgow. she is going on mat leave. She's not taking any more clients. Where's she based? Blantire now. Atteram. Yeah, or did she move to town? She moved to town, didn't she?

Glasgow. Oh yeah, sorry, Atiram's in Glasgow, yeah. Yeah. It's quite near the Barclays building. Yep. So it's in that area, but she's so good. And she also does... Microblading.

Like, microblading and... There's all these different types of new eyebrows. Like the little thin strokes and stuff like that. She does loads of... eyebrow tattoo stuff. Yeah, and it looks so good. I had my brows done a few years ago, and I'll be honest, I hated them. It really affected me for a while.

It cost me an absolute arm and a leg to get rid of them. So I won't recommend that place, but it wasn't that they weren't... Was it not quite far away as well? Dundee. It wasn't that they weren't incredible at what they did. Just the brow was not good for my face whatsoever. I looked like a werewolf. It was just a trend at the time was the really, really, really, really bushy.

stuck up brows I didn't actually like your eyebrows Zoe no I look back at them now like I'm in shock it aged me so much it made me look harsh anyway I got them removed

and that cost me a fortune but I went to a very good place called ink visible in town I did my research on the type of machine that I needed and I think I said it on the point like season flipping two or three but they had this type of machine that only two in Scotland had.

One was in Aberdeen, one was in Glasgow. Inc. Visible, I think, are on like West Regent Street or something in Glasgow. City Centre, sorry, yeah. Very good if you want a tattoo removed. Don't go and get tattoo removal or hair removal laser from any high street chain place

because they whack the settings right down low. I've heard this for multiple people that used to work for these places. You all know the place that I'm talking about. And they'll tie you into endless treatments and it will not go. And you'll be asking yourself after five treatments, why do you still have hair and why do you still have a tattoo because it's a fucking fix? So go and do your proper

research and go to somewhere with a really good machine. Quite right. Okay, I'm telling you that now. I'm apologised if you work at this place but you know yourself it's true. Teeth. So I had my bonding initially done by Dr Andrew McLean in Manchester He is Scottish

But he's based on there He is one of the best in the UK He's amazing I then had it fixed by Johnny Attings and Dental When it used to occasionally chip Because I'm a nail biter And then I went back

About three years later For a little bit of a refresh By Andrew Andy Andy McLean again Or Andy We love an Andrew by the way We do

Andrews are good at teeth Maybe they are And I, my first set of bonding was actually from dentistry on the square. That was the place to go. I had my gum, my gum lasered from them. Yeah. And you know what? They were amazing.

Like my bonding was really good. Yeah, they were great. I never chipped once. Like, not once in my bonding chips. And I had it for eight years. No chip. Yeah, that was amazing. Like, it was a really good experience.

I went to a guy called Jamie there. I have no idea. Jamie did my gum? Yeah. I sound really random by me saying gum, by the way. but I had one tooth where I had it was covered by half a gum. Mm-hmm. Do you remember that?

Did I know you then? I think we probably recommend it because I went and then jelly went. So we probably spoke about it. Maybe. But basically you can have your gum lazered off. If you think you've got a gummy smile. Yeah. I basically had it done.

Had to have it done twice because I'd grey back. I remember that, yeah. But it completely changed my whole smile. Mm-hmm. No, I remember that. Yeah, so I went to Jamie there. No idea if he still works there, but he was amazing. one of my friends went as well

and then recently I got all my teeth done by Dr Andrew at Philip Friel Advanced Dentistry in Highlands Amazing And I had 8 composite veneers and Invisaline And then I'm having my sure smile

Invisaline Quote, a cheaper one With Johnny at Oddington Dental Can you get that in right now? Of course I'm not Did you have it in today? No I thought you had it in when we were first recording.

I just thought, I'm not going to mention it, I'm just going to admire from afar. No. Okay, interesting. I didn't take it south of France with us because I said, I'm not going to do it because I'll lose it. And I haven't had it back in since I've been back. But it's on my bedside table because I've just cleaned it all and went upstairs this morning. It's washed and ready to go as soon as I get home. Okay, good.

To start again. Anyway, right, next body part. Armpets? Laser. Holy shit. Only one person you need to go to Ministry of Lazy. and Glasgow, probably my most asked question of all time. She's the best.

I can't get it done and it's so sad. I'm so sad for you, Zoe, it's life-changing. It's changed my entire life. I think there might be machines out there now that do, like, ginger and fair hair. Must be. But, yeah, I'm just too fair. It's really heartbreaking.

Although I fucking hate paining that down there. I'm just not like a waxer and then. I'm just a shaver. I can't. I can't handle it. And I don't like being exposed like that. So you wouldn't have your... Marjana lasered?

I mean, if I was going to go and do it, then yeah, I would just put up with it, but I'm okay, shaving. I find it a bit uncommon to, I find it a bit annoying, but I'm okay with it. I don't mind shaving either. Yeah, I don't mind it, I really don't. I still need to shave a little bit, like, you know, down near, like, the lips. Sorry, how else do I describe it. I do need to shave a little bit because when you are doing that part, you obviously have pants on and you pull bits to the side and it's not accurate. And there is parts of my leg, I think I said last week, that is a little bit,

but never really had a hair grow back really under my armpits, maybe the occasional one. Which is actually quite lucky because a lot of people after pregnancy say it comes back. I think I've had a hair growth spout post-prendency. There's not been an issue, but apart from that on my body, on my head it's been fine. Perfect. Just what you want. I can do boobs. I went to Ross Hall.

Yeah. For my web reduction. Gorgeous. I wish I could stay there once a week Was it nice? Loved it. Meals were incredible. Were they? Yeah, really good menu.

Yeah, really good menu. Five-star review, restaurant. Body massage? Yeah, so let's do, oh God, I've been to many places, right. But Thai massage, I used to love, I used to frequent Jasmine Thai near the dam. Yeah. Amsterdam restaurant.

Restaurant bar. I loved it there, but I then discovered Ty Ann on Paisley Road West, and it's amazing. My girl has just recently left. I've just been told because I went last week. But I actually had Anne. The Anne. She was, oh my God, she had hands of steel. I don't think I've ever had a time massage.

It's so, Zoe. I was actually gripping onto the bed at one point, like, full grown-o. But it was good. She was brilliant. We had some good chats. And then I love charisma. Charisma, if you want an extensive menu of lymphatic, mummy makeover, whatever you want to call it. Yeah, the girlies there are great and very informative on sort of the holistic approach of biohacking health, you name it.

They are very clued up with things about your gut, about your hormones, about... They are. Different parts of your body that affect other parts of your body. Just follow them on Instagram actually. just even if you want to just learn. Very knowledgeable. And whilst I'm at it talking about mummy things, this is not on my list,

but Rosie Davies gave me the pelvic floor check over privately post-pregnancy. She was great, where you check if you've got ab separation, you check if you have anything going on down there post-birth. Yeah, nice. I also went to Park West in Hamilton loads once I'm on for about a year last year

to get regular like sports massages. Did you? On my back and hamstrings. Wow. Because I always had a really sore lower back because my hamstrings are so tight. I know you had a really tight hamstrings right? They're still tight. But my back's not as bad. It comes and goes but Richard's not got me doing all those mad squats as much

recently, thank you. And they're really good just a local one for those South Lanarkshire girls, you know? That's really good. I'd like to go back, actually. There's loads of good physios. I went to a really good physio at Udingston Physio. Emma is really great if you want a female physio. She's so fantastic.

Johnny, which is Zara from Skinsman, was my very original physio when you was getting me ready for Kilimanjaro when I had all that neck pain. And I went to Maple Clinic chiropractor when I was pregnant. Did I rate chiropractor? It felt so nice to be cracked, but I ended up forking out a fucking fortune while I was pregnant for zero difference, to be honest. So I don't know what, I don't know about that.

I think people find that weird because it kind of hurts before it, like it's sore before it gets better. Yeah. I don't know. I mean, there's probably, I mean, there's probably lots of. Lots of good ones out there. Yeah, but I just don't know if I felt like I spent a lot of money for very little results. Yeah, okay. Nails, Tiger Nails.

Oh, I go to Megan now at CC on Udingston Main Street. I go to Kirstie Kee Nails at So South and the Southside. Fantastic. Toes. I just don't think you can be the salon on Udingston Main Street. It is on the side of the fresh fruit shop. It's the newer one. They pride themselves in their toes.

Nice. The shop, their lovely family. Yeah, really recommend that. They give you the old scrubber-dub-dub. But saying that, I had an Elem peel foot while it actually peels off your skin at Charisma one time. Not many places do that, but check it out. It's called E-L-I-N. I think it's like a type of peel.

Maybe I've said that wrong. But I really would love to go to. the place on Dumbarton Road that Holly Macalester goes to What is it called again? Tips, get tipsy? Get Tipsy nails. Looks unbelievable. I just love a deluxe pedicure. Like, where can we go, girlies?

Maybe you need to tell me to add this to my list. See, I just don't like a pedicure. What? I hate it. Have you ever had reflexology? I hate, I hate people touch my feet. I'm so shocked by that, Zeroy. I think it's the best feeling in the world.

No, I hate them scrubbing my skin and all that. Yeah, that's a bit like itchy. It's like, ah, ah. But when somebody in must have, massage your feet. Oh my God, I'm not up your leg and put the hot towels and they put clay masks on it.

I mean, I'm just not really one for touch. I'm just not, I'm not bothered. I couldn't be more opposite. Touch me. I made Zoe tickle me on the plane. I was like, Jilly's quite tactile,

so she was like rubbing my hair and then I said, Zeri tick on my arm and she was literally like that the whole time. And you got my hand and you lifted it. It was horrendous experience. It was like I'm on a plane and so annoying me. I'm already over stimuli.

Do you make me to tickle your arm? The thing is you did it though. For one minute. No, I was just, no. I said no and you were like, do it. I thought, oh, fuck right. Yeah, toenails, like, I'll kind of go wherever I can just jump in. I'm one of those people who's getting my toenails done

an hour before I'm leaving to go at the airport. Yeah. And I do need to stop that because they always cut them too short. I think a week before, I think whatever you need your toes done for unless it's just regular looking after toes, get them a week before the event. Yeah. Because I think they look better ones

have kind of grown out a wee bit. Yeah. Because if they get filed down, cut down a wee bit. Tell you who we forgot to say, fucking Holly, happy skin by Holly. I mean, she's not doing it right now. She's living up in Australia, but did you have Botox? Yeah, I had Botox.

I had great Botox by Holly, actually. Yeah. She'll be back one day, hopefully. Hopefully. But she's based in Lester guys, maybe. Who knows where she'll be? Who knows? When it comes to skin, actual health and facials, I know we talk about that a lot,

so it can probably feel a bit confusing. But we both go to Emma a lot. We're there probably every few weeks. Yeah, at projects again. Myself, I'm going there for Lumeca, which is to target pigmentation. She's also helping with my malasma. So she's given me regular facials, microneedling, lots of out-of-clinic treatments to do at home. which is the most important part of your skin health.

Health. She advises me on all those things, sends me products. Emma also does really relaxing, gorgeous facials as well, but you've been going to her for microneedling. Microneedling. I've also had neofound. Oh yeah. We've had a few different ones of that.

And peels. Skin boosters, they're called. Skin boosters, peels and microndedelel. and it's in a bit of a cycle to try and help with my scarring. Yeah. And just like regular breakouts because I'm quite a breakout girl.

But I'm going to get some Lameca as well. Yeah. Through the winter. For just a bit of pigmentation along my cheeks. Seeing people getting that CO2 laser? Yeah. I don't know if I could do that. I don't know if I could either that downtime.

Nah. Like I booed with Emma and have to cancel it because I'm like I need to work tomorrow now. Also I don't think I need it? No, I don't think so. I don't know what's it for to a complete skin surface I think yeah

so you're basically peel I'm not sure I need that just yet but Emma's got really good peals she has like she's like a lot of people are scared of peals and you just shouldn't be they're so amazing for your skin guys I had exosomes

I think I said this on side dish if you'll listen to that but I had exosomes from Emma which is basically from dear placenta which I think's going to be the new thing. It is going to be the new thing. When we were in space and Kate, some girlie from Australia was telling us we should get it to help my malasma. And the next thing, I was there

and Emma was putting it into my bloody face. She can get it microneedled in if you want. But she's like, yeah, it's like derived from like deer placenta. I was like, you know, I'm like, I fucking love anything about the placenta. It's like superpowers. So I was like, but it smelled disgusting. And it's a bio, like a byproduct. So it's like, it's going to be wasted anyway. It's not like the deer was killed to put Yeah, yeah. Exosomes on your face. Yeah.

So yeah, that's going to be the new thing. You heard it here first. For the massage, what's it called? What's it called? What's it called? Bucle. That's not known the word. Yes, you do.

When you get all your, these muscles massaged, get right in, you do all that. Don't know the word, I'm afraid. Put your thumb in your mouth. Chrisma do also do it as part of some of their lymphatic, but Olivia Taylor specializes in it where she will literally get right in about all that tense jaw. tension. Oh my God, she's amazing. It's like our face gym, but better.

You get under a heated flipping duvet. Oh my God, it's just, she's the best. She's also good at mycneedling. Is she? Extraction. Extraction. She uses the skin pen. Does she?

Think so, yeah. She gave me a really good depoof facial for when I was pregnant. Another great one is face space for similar facials. And what I really love about there is She doesn't work with any named brand. She's not affiliated with a brand. So she uses all the best skincare, anything that she thinks is suited to your skin type.

Yeah, I felt asleep. I was so relaxed. Oh my God, that was so good. That's actually based on urban offices. You've also got your hydro facials and stuff that we fucking love at the Aesthetics Club. Baby facial. She's starting doing IV trips now. By 10.

Yeah. I feel like that's a really... Well, Olivia has said all of them archeryery. are good gifts but I feel like in fact they're all good gifts I'm thinking about relaxation but they all have an element

of relaxation they all do you just don't need to have one person in this life I think that's important do you know what I mean yeah they can go to different people for different things but in the one

department of your body yeah anyway next spray tan Nicola at Har in Udingston Nicola at Haar we love you Nicola

She's the best. She'll be less than waiting on a shoutout. Fade's so nice. It's just the best. Makeup artists, this is not something that me and Zoe are like experts on, to be honest. We don't get our makeup done often,

but we have had our makeup done for events and we don't know of the circle. So personally, J. McPyke, Stacey Toner, Sam Hendry, Murray, and Caitlin Stewart are all the people that I've loved my makeup by. I think that's the same as me. I don't know that I've been to anyone else

Not that I can think off the top of my head anyway I have had my makeup done For like the odd wedding or something Like as part of the wedding Okay But I'm not sure I could tell you who it is off the top of my head I feel really bad if I've missed someone I think bridal hair

Every marietta is really good Bridal makeup too though Is what I'll say Gorgeous She did my makeup when she worked at looks Right When I first ever moved to Glasgow And Louise Ballantyne did my friend

I don't think either of them do that now, do they? Yeah, of course they do. They do bridal though. Yeah. Rydal. Louise Ballantyne is incredible at makeup, bridal makeup. Her brows and stuff look incredible as well, by the way.

Everything, she looks like an actual, we've seen the pictures of her on holiday recently. Honestly. How the fuck? I actually looked at her, I thought you looked like something off Pinterest. Anyway, she, yeah, what's her son-in-called looks? She does lots of things like that but we get asked in the Patreon chat

so if you're over on Patreon all the girlies share so many amazing recommendations but the question of make of bridal hair and makeup is asked a lot a lot a lot so have a look at the thread go through the chat have a little look but the only two people that we really recommend because we're not really into that

is Pam Doc hair like she's the OG goat of fucking bridal hair yeah I guess Murray I guess Louise Ballanty so you go at least tell us or we can share it somewhere but I can't think who else has done my hair I've had updoes at blondeing

they were amazing so I think some of the girls in there do weddings yeah they do but I've not really had to think of that I guess yeah but if I was to get married

Pam Doc hair would be doing my hair 100% and Louise would be doing my face that is literally that you go done or or Stacey Tona her makeup she did for me was outrageous one year

when Christmas party I closed up looking at myself I was like, I am gorgeous. And Caitlin Stewart. Caitlin Stewart, yeah. Oh yeah, that was, my birthday makeup was... The red lip. It was insane, yeah.

It was the red lap, I think. Yeah, the black outfit red lip. Did you say makeup people there? Did you say Sam Henry? Yeah, said Sam Hendry, yeah. Jay McPyke, Murray and Caitlin Stewart. There you go. And final, end in the ass,

Colonic. I went to somewhere called the clinic, just off the bottom road. I went to Sally, Cullen just off of Buchanan Street. Would recommend we'll do it again. Oh, and going straight back up, the body, we forgot to mention scalp. Scalp health, head bath.

Head bath was great. They can look at your hair follicles, they can give you the little relaxation of the trickily gorgeous head massage. And they can give you products and things for, like, hair loss, hair thinning, anything like that. That just reminds me of things. like sculpting the body and stuff like that you've got Laura Porter who does all the oh yes

the machine secret RF stuff yeah to like tighten the skin around about the belly the thighs the arms yeah because I said it's club to do that M-scoped but what about the the other lymphatic machine that

head bath had that you said Ikewns there as well it's good one to remember and bath thing. Oh my God. There's so many things we just don't think about but yeah.

So many things. I hope I've not missed anything. So there's your list that you've waited for. Sorry if that's not your thing but don't ever ask us for anything ever again. You go to this episode.

Anyone that you listen to and thought I might need that one day. Put it in your notes. Make a list in your notes because you know what? It's good to vote because you can't get in somewhere. You try something else.

Yeah. But these are just the places that we've tried and tested. There's loads of other incredible people as well. Yeah. But there'll be so many. amazing people. But we will put all of these in the newsletter as well if you've missed it,

which is free to every single person that listens to this friggin' episode. We link every single thing we talk about every month. And the way you can access it is you have to sign up to Patreon as a free member. It's the only way we can make it work where it can go to your inbox. Or you can go into the feed of Patreon and see all the previous newsletters from a whole year. I would like to read through some comments on this TikTok I shared. And I think you would like me to as well. Okay.

So the TikTok says, can all the crazy girls comment the most insane thing they've done? Need to know if I'm chilling. Or if I should genuinely be institutionalised. Are you ready? Every year I unblock him and text him Happy Father's Day and block him again. He's been trying to reach me for three years.

There's no baby. When I got divorced, I still had the sleep number bed app on my phone. I would randomly in the middle of the night, sit the bed all the way up, or fold him like a pretzel depending on my mid-dict day. Knew I was going to divorce my husband, but told him I would stay and work on things if he got a vasectomy. Left his ass the week it was done. Put grass seed in his carpet and watered it, turned the heat up. He got back from vacation to a whole yard in his living room.

No way. Does it actually work? Must. I don't eat meat but used to cook for him, so pissing his lamb curry and served it to him. Never put milk in a fine mis-spray bottle and sprayed the entire interior of a car before. Oh, that's going to be stinking. Added my email to his eye messages, so I'd get the messages too.

Wow, clever. I knew he was cheating and how he was cheating, so I made a fake Instagram account and messaged myself the Hey Girlie with receipts and then showed him. After we divorced, I gave every guy who asked me out his number, so when they called, they asked for me.

He told me no one would ever want me, so I wanted him to see just how wanted I was. Amazing. Sowed tuna into his curtains. Sowed tuna into his curtains. How do you do that? Fuck knows what that would be stinking. I found out he cheated on me

and I acted like I didn't know until that night we played Hangman and watching his face as he slowly realized he was spelling out her name was the best thing ever. That's amazing. That is amazing! That's amazing.

I knew he couldn't swim, took him to the beach, told him I'd teach him, drowned him and saved them all within a minute, told him to quit fucking playing with me. Right before I moved out and left him, he asked me to go shopping. I spent his last $500 on canned goods, then ripped all the labels off them.

Good luck figuring out if it's dog food or ravioli chad. Oh. When I gave him a shit back, I sent two pairs of boxers that weren't his. People are really creative in the revenge. Okay, we'll finish on this one. Seems appropriate. Gave myself a little peddy and added the confetti to the parmesan cheese shaker, then served spaghetti. It was my mini moment.

Cheesy! I love that. I think they're fucking brilliant, by the way. People are nuts, but so... creative and I love it. Tell us more, give us more, more, more. Yeah, everyone's saying then theirs. We've done that before but any new ones. Yeah, I love it.

Let us know if that's sparked an idea or sparked a memory. Right, let's end on a couple of dilemmas, shall we? Let's do it. So, hi girls, I listened to your most recent app and I just wanted to weigh in on my experience as a chronically single guest. I've been single for years now and I have to say people romanticise being single and living on your own.

I'm hyper-independent. I own my own flat. I pay all of my bills on my own and honestly, I hate it. I always joke that I am the hybrid of Carrie Bradshaw and Bridget Jones. Sounds brilliant to be fair. But in all honesty, I want nothing more

than my own family and I find it so tough that everyone around me has a partner, children and security. I know I could have children on my own, but realistically, financially, I couldn't afford the cost of IVF myself. I would love nothing more than a person who loves me for who I am and is there on my tough days. Being ill when you live alone is not for the faint-hearted, by the way.

I find I'm often forgotten about and I feel a gut punch when everyone has weekend plans cozying in with their babe. Let's not forget the single taxes, having to pay everything on your own. Honestly, weddings will bankrupt me. I think it's important to look out and check in on your single friends from a loving pod piggy who feels comfort in listening to you girls when alone P.S. Maybe you should host a singles night where podpiggies bring their brothers, friends, cousins who are single

and set us all up. That's a great idea, by the way. Oh, I would love to do something like that, Zoe, but I just don't know if people would come. I know. I think that's well. I think the girlies would come, but getting the guys to come, it's... Yeah. Like, thinking about what we spoke about last week of, or the... the week before of how happy people are that they don't need a man. It's like you don't need it, but it's also okay to want it.

Yeah. And I think this is a good message because I guess we as people who are in relationship want to try and make people feel good about being on their own so they're not sitting upset about it. But equally, that's the reality. Yeah. That if you do really want to meet someone, yeah, you're independent, you've got a nice flat, you can pay your own way, you've got friends, but there is still lonely times.

You do just want someone to love you. You want someone to be there when you're ill. Of course. You want someone for the shitty days at work. Yeah. Like that's okay too. But at least we can keep your company when... I know.

And you will meet someone. I just do really strongly believe that like your life has set out. Like I'm like the day is going to come. Yeah. Whatever you want as will happen. Yeah, totally. But you do just need to put the energy out there, the positive energy out there. to get it back, I think.

A million percent. Which is difficult if you're feeling really down and dumps like something. But I feel like this girl's got like everything else going for that like that will come and it'll just fall into place one day. Yeah. So keeps posted when that day comes.

This is quite a nice message to follow up from. Hi girls. I just wanted to reach out after listening to this week's podcast on dating in your 30s and how so many women go on to live really happy lives without a partner. Mm-hmm. I'm 35 and two years.

ago I had IVF to have my wee girl through donor conception. I'm now pregnant with my second baby. Wow. And honestly, it's the best thing I've ever done. I'm so glad I took that leap of faith when I did and I didn't wait around any longer. She's an absolute dream from true. I really just wanted to say that no one should ever feel like they have to stay in the wrong relationship just to have a baby. Oh yeah, because we touched on that, didn't we? Yeah. You absolutely can do it yourself. Of course, there are times when solo parenting is really hard, but it's also the most incredible thing, and there are so many positives

to having children by yourself. Please keep my name anonymous, just to protect my kids' identities, but if anyone ever reaches out looking for advice or wanting to know how more on the process is, I'll be more than happy for you to pass on their details, so we could have a chat, and I could talk them through the process

and share my experience in more detail. I absolutely love the pod, and thank you so much. I love that so much. I love it so much. Because you know what? I just don't even know if I've ever thought about that. I know. And it seems kind of obvious in a way.

And that's a big huge factor. It's a big huge factor, I think, of... Freezing your eggs, get a donor, IVF. The timeline, the support, knowing if you do meet someone in the future, how it's a lot. But I think if you are in a position too, then... And you really want to, then there are people doing that. Yeah. just would never even have thought of that as an option if that was me.

It's so funny, I was thinking about that earlier about, like, you know how people adopt animals? It's almost like they don't, a lot of people don't want to go and get a puppy because they're like, I could go and adopt. Yeah. I think a lot of us would probably want to do that because, but it's the risk of how would they act,

what they've been through, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. I think it's kind of like with kids. I was thinking if I was to ever have another one, would I ever consider adopting? Let's say I got to like 40 and I was like, you know what, or maybe even older than that, would I adopt? And the answer is I don't know, you know, like, if I was able to, there'd be so many children out there wanting a loving family. Would I, would I do that maybe? I know.

It's a hard one. I know that's different to IVF, but it's a different way of like looking at it and. Having a child without a partner. Yeah. How easy has it to adopt without a partner? is the question. I have no idea. I have no idea either.

Probably not easy. I know it's hard to adopt with a partner. I know it's hard to adopt a dog. Exactly. And that's why a lot of people don't do it because they can't get one. But no, as a good point,

I'm the same. I'm definitely not against it at all. I think for me it'd be difficult because I don't know how would you know how you're going to feel about it until you done it. Exactly.

And you can't go back. Mm-hmm. I don't know. I bet you there's a lot of people that are adopted or via IVF or surrogacy or... Yeah. Foster kid as well. Fostering, yeah? Mm-hmm.

Yeah. I'm concerned of doing that at one point. Did she? Yeah, she didn't work out with her partner and stuff at the time, but yeah. Do you know who's a really good advocate for fostering is... You remember Tawi? Lydia's mom. Mm-hmm.

She still does it. She always talks about it. She fosters, didn't she say she's someone like she's fostered over the year, something like 500 kids or something crazy? It's mad because I remember there was a foster family like next door at my dad for a while. And it was honestly just like I can very about kids but it was all like because then they were getting adopted. Yeah, because some of them come up for a couple of weeks while their parents maybe have had to go into hospital or there's been like some issues with like crime or crime. Yeah. Which is such a shame.

But it is just so difficult because people want their own family, but how amazing are you as a person if you can do that for a family? Yeah, I think it's incredible. But it's also it comes with challenges. Yeah, for sure. Which is probably why more people don't do it. And then I guess adoption is such a commitment when you don't necessarily know what you're getting.

Yeah, and I guess it's probably a bit like a puppy, like if you could adopt a puppy, it's probably quite rare that you're able to adopt such a young animal and child. where they haven't been through an awful lot at that point versus getting a toddler. I think they can adopt like newborn babies. No, you can, but I can imagine that's probably harder because it's probably the more sought after. Yeah, because you're going to shape them from the get-go.

Yes. I know. I mean, obviously we don't know much about this. So I've, like, take everything you're saying with a pinch of salt, I suppose. No, but educators, like, I think it's important to talk about it. Messages tell us like, I want to know. If you've done or if you are adopted. Yeah.

Right, finish on the last dilemma then. want me to read it out. Yeah, go. Right, okay, strap in. Oh, fuck. My ex is having a baby but still messaging me. Do I rat him out as the subject? We've had one similar to this, haven't we?

I was in a situation with a guy for about four years. You know the kind where you're young, think you're in love and waiting for the day you become official, but never actually happens. Eventually we grew up while I pulled my head out, my arm and realized it ain't never going to happen, sis. And naturally grew apart. And contact stopped, but no hard feelings.

Every now and again he would message, which would give me that stupid, oh, this is it, this is when he's going to tell me he loves me, but he never did. Thoughts, I mean, maybe chat for a couple days, but nothing would come from it. Clearly weren't me to boost his ego. The end of 2024, he messaged me, and this time his WhatsApp pick was him and a girl. We chatted normally, and when I asked if he was in a relationship, he said it's nothing serious and she wouldn't need to find out. Me being me, stalked his socials, found a girl on Instagram,

and that night she had a story up. watched it and lo and behold the story was a pick of them celebrating their one-year anniversary. Not serious, my arse. I didn't know what to do at this point. I did consider messaging the girl, but this has happened to me before and when I messaged a girlfriend, I was labelled a crazy jealous ex, so thought, don't bother. Well, in 2025 he messaged me three times over the year to which I didn't respond, and coincidentally, I had missed calls from an unknown number the following days.

I just thought, oh, he'll be single again and chance needs luck. Fuck him. Then in June of this year he messaged again. I mean, I take it somewhat as a compliment that he's persistent. Clearly I did something good. What's that called again? Obergine emoji. But come on, this is cycle behaviour, right? Anyway, I then thought I'll be a nosy bitch and see if they're still together.

According to her post, they got engaged in May and there's a pick of a baby scan as they're due a baby this year. And that's my dilemma. Do I totally ruin this girl's life, even though it's his actions and not mine that's ruined it? or do I leave them to it? The messages aren't incriminating, so to speak, but why are you messaging it an ex from years ago? We're not friends and we have no need to communicate.

So part of me is wondering if I'd be causing drama by telling her about a few, hey, how are you missing you messages? But also I know this guy and I know I won't be the only one he's chanced in his luck with. Sorry, did she reply to him. She did say before, though, that he'd messaged three times over the year,

which she didn't respond to. But she finishes it with. I'm a girl's girl, but I have no loyalty to her as I don't know her whatsoever. In the context of the messages he's sending me could be deemed innocent. Oh, I was just messaging to see how she was kind of thing. I've not responded to his messages

and no longer have the WhatsApp chat because he was blocked a long time ago. Basically, is it even worth telling her as I have no proof. Apart from five messages, what would you do? Right. We have answered a similar one to this with the person that recognized

the girl that was on TikTok. I think my, I still stand. Like, I don't think you should tell this girl at all. Yeah. Unless she was your friend. Agony. However, some of things just happen similarly to a friend of mine where a guy, she actually doesn't know,

but she knows of the girlfriend, loosely. She randomly got a Facebook message off a boy and it said hey how are you at like 3 a.m. And my friend replied like bro, do better. No. Yeah, that's all she wrote back saying do better and all that. And then said person replies like, you're right, I apologize.

You won't hear from me again. She'd never ever, ever spoken to this guy before in her life by the way. But it was almost like, muggy, Like if I would reply back to a screenshot of the girl with the baby scan and say do fucking better. Yeah. Like because that's almost a sort of threat as well because it's like you know I see this. Yeah. Don't message me.

You don't know what my next move could be and what I could do. I just think these men need to be called out from their behaviour. Yeah, I think so. And I do think it's important that we are girls, girls and we share and tell them. but in these certain situations it's almost like I do think when there's no connection she has no loyalty to you she'll probably stay it's not even a loyalty thing it's just a case of like

you are genuinely a random girl messaging another girl and yeah it's because it's in like a looking out for her way but you're right she's probably just going to be like and who the fuck are you like I'm engaged to this guy yeah and it like it is going to tear you down still you're going to be like upset that your man's messing someone else but I just don't know that you're not going to be like thanks so much babe

to the girl you're just going to be like you probably would think who's this is she telling the truth there's no nothing she can stand on there's no hard evidence I just think and we said this last time I think there's just a time and place

where you kind of just need to stay in your own lane a bit and I agree with what you're saying of like give him the shit I just think if anyone's been message from a guy because it happens to loads of people right If you know that man has a wife and kids at home, I think our duty, that's still being a girl's girl,

is going back to them and saying, do better. Don't message me again. That is, you are on the girl's side by doing that. And I think when you don't know her, that's as much as you can do. Exactly. That's what I think we should do.

I agree. I whole heart should agree with you there, Jess. And vice versa. If any guys get a message from a girl, like just do it. Call them out on their bullshit. Yeah, definitely. I like that response.

Yeah. I think that's mature and also very, like, fuck you, you're a twat. I've just reminded you what you've got and he probably thought, fuck you're right. Yeah. Send a screenshot of them as a happy couple. Or with their family. Pull at that heartstring.

Damn it, fucking right in. Right back to the guy. What you doing? Yeah. Brov. What are you doing, bro? So, just want to talk about the protein bread. We had a message from my lovely pod pig. Fun fat girls, Jason's make the Aldi dupe saladow. defos keep to the cheaper dupe.

Also, my sister works in this industry. She works in the bread industry. Hence my weird knowledge. Lowe. Sainsbury's have just launched her two new products, which is Sainsbury's own label. It is a red lester and rare bit half bloomer sourdough

and a green olive and rosemary sourdough. Help the girl out with the sales. How cute is that? She must be like a... She must be like the product developer of... That's cool as far. So if you see it. If you go in Stainsbury's, go to the fresh bakery section and get that.

You're supporting one of our pub piggyists? Love it. Anyway, right, we have a little update for you on Christmas. Christmas markets, they are coming. We are here to tell you that they are coming. Again, end of November at BAD. We will keep you posted on when tickets are going to be released. But what we are here to say is,

if you have a business, want a business, no other business. then please email us at contact at a lot of your plate podcast.com for interest and come to our Christmas markets as a vendor this year. To have a store. You can come for one day, two days we'd obviously prefer you to be there for both days

but yeah, please we've had a lot of emails already a lot of interest as there is every single year. People love it. They always want to return. And mark your diaries. It's 25th and 26th of November at Bad. Yeah. where it always is we love it great venue perfect for the Christmas markets and then we are still in discussions about our boozy fun night out on the Friday

we had a little Zoom call with a certain somebody this morning so we'll keep you posted on that who knows but if you want a boozy night with your pals keep the date free Friday the 27th on November 22xx yeah and we have partnered with our lovely partners shuffle who do have bad as one of their venues so if you actually want to go to bad for a drink you can go on the shuffle up and get some cash back but If you are one of our podpigees that comes to the event and you have the shuffle app, you will be able to get cash back at the bar and you have some drinks and maybe some other little exclusive things for any shuffle users on the day.

So make sure you have that app downloaded, use it to your heart's desire, bring it to the event. And a reminder of our code to get six months free membership is ALYP 26. Capital letters. Aloip. A loype. Aloip 26. Yes. And I think that's all for us for today.

Yeah, good old waffle. If you're on our Patreon, we have a vlog for you on Friday. So we'll see you there. Yeah, I'm going to vlog my Budapest trip, something a little bit different with me and Mom and Jensen. And then I'm going to vlog me flying back to come to Princess's 30th birthday party. So I'll have you little insight into that.

Give our princess a little bit of a week off while she enjoys her 30th shenanigans. Well she turns 30. But you're still going to be in it. you'll just be at the very end. Sounds perfect to me. Gorgeous that up bit. Can't wait.

Well, the next time I see you guys, I'll be the big three oh. So keep me in your thoughts. And you better to finish your list. The list is nearly complete. I'll give you an update next week. Love you guys. Bye.

Bye!