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Phat Biddies Feat. Chef Donny - A New Untold Story: Ep. 523

October 29, 20260 comments♥ 0
00:00 Hey, a new untold story listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen to ad-free on Amazon music. You'll be that's your reply to what I'm going to say. No, you're just going to say, no, that's a new untold story. Hey, is that story old or told? What, no? Welcome back to a new untold story. Episode five something.
00:49 523, not an area code. Yeah, we're stuck in here with... We're here with Chef Donnie, a pre-Halline episode. Mr. Oven Mitz. Mr. Oven Mitz. Is that just called him a chef? Yeah. Mr. O'Brien.
01:07 Yeah. Don't be shy with the sugar, headass. It's good to be here. Mr. ingredients. All right. Mr. Grease burns. Thanks for having me. It's going to be back.
01:23 Anus users, anus fans. Yeah. You're an anus user as well. I'm not. I use my own. Yes. Piss and poop, but that's it. No, dude.
01:37 What happened this morning that you texted me in a panic that you're like, you need me to come on? We had a guest fall through. Oh, so I'm the action X. Yeah, Action X. Action X. Mr. Elevate this dish. Who fell through?
01:55 We don't want to say. You don't want to say. Someone fell through. A comedian. Oh, yeah. He's coming on. Okay. Yeah, just delayed it a week.
02:03 But that's all right, because we have, we have you. We got the Latino Barbie. That is an island. I'm going a little too hard. I like that one. No, you. Shock, yeah, we talk about all the time, but you told me your dad's full name, and it is. Yeah.
02:18 It's like deportable. Yeah, oh, yeah. What's his name? Oh, yeah. you're the blonde skier that he popped out i know dude i wanted the spanish name so bad naughty like is he like bummed i don't think he's bummed because we have such a crazy last day my mom had to give us traditional names is what they told us who's they my parents oh okay could you switch it ski for the cuban national team i don't think they have a ski team
02:46 and no i'm not a good enough like i don't want to like ski race but if there's nobody else compete at like the world championships or the trials because I know. Yeah, I'm not good I don't ski race. I don't for like I I'm a resort skier, off train skier. I don't know with any what? What's the difference? I'm not like a competitive ski racer. I wish.
03:06 But you like if you could just make the team and get the Olympic rings tattooed, would you do it? Sure. Who wouldn't? Who amongst us wouldn't? Yeah, Cuba, I don't think Cuba has a winner team. And then you can meet that. I'm also not Cuban though. I am Cuban. I am Chinese asset snowboarder that you have a crush on. Oh yeah, I lean goo. Yeah. Yeah, she's great. She's a way out of my league.
03:25 She has a deal with Porsche. She is a deal. She was on the cover of Vogue. But she was born in America, right? She was born in San Francisco. Yeah. Well, then never mind. Yeah, she's Chinese. She's great. She's an awesome skier. You love Eileen Goo. I like her style in the air more than anything, but. That would probably, she would probably be taken by that. I met her once. I met her at the X-Games.
03:47 You met Eileen goo at the X-Germ. I could barely talk. Why? This doesn't sound like you. What did you say to why Lee Goulds? I've not a whole lot of nothing. Just jumbled up my words, really, really. Like, do you recall? She was getting them in practice, and I was, like, there in the Red Bull section. Is that what you were cooking for the boys?
04:03 I was cooking for the other. I was cooking for the other. I was cooking for fucking, yeah. I took him for Zett Powell and Mack Forehand, which are two big deals. It's you dodging. What is that? Dodging. Doge and oil. When you're cooking Canadian bacon.
04:21 Oh, oil. you meant like a different kind of oil. Coddy oil, no. Dodged Saudi oil. Did you get offered a Saudi oil? I would take a deal for them Saudis in a second. Would you fly out and get shit on once? Not yet.
04:35 That's what they do, right? They don't do that? Fly you out. Put you in a Mercedes G-class SUV and... But that's also in their apartment. That's their dune buggy. Yeah. I would do that in a heartbeat.
04:46 They're all British, basically. The Saudis? Yeah. I wouldn't have guessed. In what way? Like they're all, they send all their kids to, like, schools in Britain. Yeah, Kim Jong-un's son went to school in Switzerland.
04:55 God, that must be nice. A lot of good skiing there. Vermont. I think he was on the ski team. Probably. But no, I'm not like a legally Cuban enough, I think, to compete. You're not legally Cuban enough to compete. I don't know.
05:07 I think you just need to have a... I don't have a Cuban passport. Could you get one? No, I don't even give that shit away. They don't, yeah, I know, but like you... I don't know, but there's gold buried there. My family has gold in Cuba. Buried?
05:18 Yeah. Are they trying to... Where? Ever, a lot of... Almost everyone in Cuba buried gold when Castro took over, so who knows where it is. Did your dad live in Cuba? No, his brother didn't. He was born here.
05:29 My dad's not the oldest. Okay, yeah, yeah. But your grandpa? Grandpa, grandma, yeah, abuela, abuela. Came here in the 50s. Excuse me? My abuelo, my abuela. Oh, abuela is grandpa?
05:39 Buello, yeah, abuela. His grandma. Did you say it twice? Did you say it repetitively on purpose? No, he asked. He repeated. I answered. Okay.
05:48 They didn't speak English, so I didn't really, I knew them. They're dead and them. rest in peace, but Adios Miho they didn't, I didn't speak they didn't speak much English. So I didn't really, it's a lot of charades, a lot of hugs, they were good at hugging.
06:01 But my dad's first language was Spanish. Why? But you went to French emergence? Why did you learn Spanish? There was no, they wanted to teach a Spanish. There was no Spanish immersion in my town, my small town. Minnesota.
06:10 But you had a small, but you, in my small podunk town. It's weird. It only had a French immersion school. The Spanish immersion school was two towns over, and they didn't want to do that. There's no bus that went there.
06:24 But no, the French version school, they started, and they went door to door trying to get kids, and my mom just fucking said, yeah. That was it? I guess. Is the Dinah a planned community? What was that? It's a planned community. It was advertised on minstrel show pamphlets. Was it?
06:40 What's a planned community? That's a news term for me. It's like they sell it as like an Eden. Do they not? Yeah. Oh, like a Levitt town. I don't know Levitt Town. Yeah, the original suburb.
06:49 Yeah, when he came back from war. I don't know if it wasn't in playing community I live there that would make sense yeah it ain't now did uh we have Halloween coming up how was the trick or treating up in a dinah oh great I got beat up on year
07:04 but other than that like you can't say great and say something horrible why'd you get beat up I don't know it was probably deserved I was probably doing no good but you don't remember why you got beat up that's something that sticks with you I was probably being rotten but also
07:19 these guys were rotten too and then there was a little ditch we were walking in. There's a, you know, where Arthur Basram used to live, there was a ditch and a kid came from behind me, face palm slap me in the face, rolled me in a dish, took my candy.
07:31 No fucking, you're. What was your way worse than I imagined? What was your costume? Bank robber, black, like a black face. Dude, I'm not even trying to do this. I was just dressed in like ski mask. Yeah, all dark, all black clothing. So you were a bank robber who got robbed?
07:49 I was. Yeah. candy was in the bag with the money. But I was also probably too old to be, it was that age where you're a little too old to be trick-or-treating. You were too old to be trick-or-treating, but you got cold clock smacked, rolled and pushed into a ditch, and then robbed.
08:02 Yeah, and then I had a big, you know, those old flashlights that were huge? Yeah, yeah, like a mag light. I had one on me, and I followed the kid and kept hitting it in my hand like I was going to do something. I never retaliated, but. Who was the kid? Don't really know, actually. I've only got beat up once, RJ Cairns.
08:17 He didn't really beat you up. He molested you. No, he beat me up as well. He did. I like the idea of... You actually got wailed on and like... Yeah, yeah. It's the point of like blood or marks.
08:31 Um, face hit. It was like, uh, we had a, uh, it was over like a sled riding thing. I don't know. It was stupid. Can you get molested by a kid if you're a kid? I don't think. No. I would have. Yes, you can.
08:43 Really? Yeah. I think that's just, if my peer, if my same age, 12 year old peer, like, put my face. in the dirt and just put his cock in my ass. Like, dude, what would you call that? Just rape, right? That's rape. Oh, or in, near my, like, what's molestation
08:59 mean? I think, yeah, I think it just like it's common, I don't know, actually. I guess, yeah, if it's peer on peer, it's still molested. Act of touching, attacking, or forcing physical sexual contact on a guy. Yeah, I got, okay. My apologies, Kyle. You can be, yeah, you can be molested by boy. No, RJ Cairns never did that. He just beat me up. Did it get and be. Twice. one time he bent my Yu-Gio
09:20 we had those tins of Yu-Gi-o cards and I pulled a time wizard which was like I love time wizard Joey used it and he got jealous he was like let me see it and he bent it in half
09:30 and then I pushed him and then he beat me up like full-blown or like stop it that's enough stop it in between did it like stick with you
09:42 I'm talking about it now you store yeah if you remember it vividly yeah it was that as a part I'm so glad we're beyond those days where getting beat up was on the table every time
09:53 you left the house you never got beat up I never got beat up but it was always in the back of your mind yeah right yeah kids were I was afraid of our school bully he did the damn good job patrolling the halls Colby did someone shit on my doorstep once that's a classic prank it was a girl I was a shit her woman it was a girl shit yeah well they'd teepee my house
10:13 every every weekend there's this crew I was harassed by the they call themself the fat bitties and they terrorized me as a boy Why were they called the fat bitties? I don't know They just with P-H-A-T, fat And they terrorized me And every weekend
10:27 A dinah gang Yeah, they were my neighbors One of the girls lived in my They had crush on you, dude Well, every weekend I got teepied And every weekend I'd shamefully have to clean it up And my parents were like,
10:37 Why is this keep happening? What do you've done? And then one weekend They took it to the next level They shit on my door I don't think that's very nice T-Ping you every weekend Like your tree in the front of your house?
10:46 Like the trees, multiple Yeah I had a pine, I'd a maple. Oh, wow. Yeah. Who, like, did any of those girls, like, they had a crush. One of them had a crush on you. Maybe.
10:57 That's a weird way of showing it. Or your brother. Probably my brother. Rob. Yeah. He's talented. Yeah, he is. Yeah.
11:07 Back to the trick-or-treating. What were some of your other costumes? I went bandit for a little while. It's a general bandit. Bandit. Why did you want to do Bandit? Because it was easy. Okay, but like what, I'm talking about like younger.
11:20 Like what? Mad scientist. You were never like a power ranger. I was probably with, yeah. Oh, okay. The red one. I was a mad scientist. I did it.
11:29 Hair sticking straight up, ash on your face. Yep. Got it. Nailed it. How much ash? Just a tasteful ash. Not too much. And I wore a lab coat, a classic.
11:40 Okay. Nothing. Nothing too complex. No. Why had you pegged as like a really complex homemade? I was always a homemade. I was always a homemate. I was always homemade.
11:48 Yeah. I do that more now as an adult. Oh, what's your costume? No-uh, you go all out. Like, you bought like TSA full gear in wands. That's not homemade. What do you mean that's not homemade? I Photoshop the TSA's logo.
12:00 You bought like a wand and the uniform. Yeah, the uniform I had to outsource. I had to sew all the patches on myself. How homemade is. You can't get more homemade than that. I guess you're right. I apologize. It's okay.
12:10 Thank you. You're doing some DIY. And the Amish I bought it from the Amish. You bought the patches from the Amish? I bought the clothing from the Amish. Why? Why were they in TSA? I was Amish last year.
12:18 Oh, oh, yeah, yeah. Anyway. Was that fine made clothing? Was it comfy? No. Not at all. Really? Was it made like burlap?
12:26 Yeah, it was just thick. My mom was making stuff with burlap all the time when I was a kid. She had a lot of burlap. A ton of burlap. She had connections. Remember we had to make banners for our communion? And we had to put it on our row and you had to carry your banner down the church? I don't remember that.
12:43 Yeah, mine was burlap. Everybody else was like silken beautiful. Mine was fucking burlap. Like a banner of like a house? of. Yeah, kind of. With like your last name. I've always wanted a family crest. Does Enriquez?
12:53 I'm sure it does. The Cubans are doing crests? I mean, son of Henry. I don't know who Henry was. Maybe the king. Maybe? King Henry. I mean, it's Spanish.
13:01 Most Cubans are Spanish. Yeah. You know, most Cubans are fair-skinned. Yeah. We have one here. We have another one here. Whoa. Who?
13:08 Not really anymore, but. Oh, okay. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, it's from Spain. I don't know what native. Cuban looks like, I would assume Island, Caribbean.
13:21 Like Caribbean looking, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know much about Cuba. Do you have any desire to go? I would love to. It's hard to go now. It was like there was an era. The Obama era made it easy to go if you had family there.
13:32 All my family went besides my immediate. And then I never, I've never been. I heard it's not great. I heard it sometimes it's great. Sometimes it's not. Cars are cool. Everything's like a time machine. Right, they're like kind of stuff.
13:43 The cars are in the 50s. Yeah. It's like stuck when the embargo happened. Food's brutal. But the food's brutal. It's just rice and beans, yeah. The Cuban sandwich originated in Miami. Damn, that's a damn good sandwich.
13:53 Mr. Chef. Yeah, I love it. Get them, guys. Let's put this together. Make something special. I'm going to France for the first time in December. I know. I'm excited for you.
14:02 I'm very excited for you. Thank, wow, thank you. Nobody else gives a fuck. I give you a list of, I don't know. We care. I care a ton. Like, that's soon, and that's going to be special. Thank you.
14:14 You going for Christmas? Beginning of December. Oh, wow. Yeah. December what to what? So the people can meet you there. Yeah, meet me up with me at the Arc to Triumph. You're just doing Paris?
14:26 Just Paris. Perfect. Just five days. That's perfect. Yeah. How why I like the cuisine? I hear that's just a lot of butter. Yeah.
14:35 It's fresh food. Yeah. Oh. And Paris by now, there's a little bit of everything. You know, if you want Chinese, I can get you a good Chinese spot. If you want, anything you want, you got it. It's an international city. How are...
14:50 Go ahead. Were you ever, like, a public speaker? You think? I don't know. Because, like, you used... I used to view you as, like, the ultimate professional of the office in New York. Yeah, you've said this, yeah. You were.
15:03 So, like, I... You were the Toby Flenderson. Yeah. Oh, here comes the fucking buzz-kills chef. Yeah, he got in... He was like, I'm not funny. I'm not funny. I guess I'll just have to be serious.
15:14 You guys want to come make a panini? I'm going to get fired Clock's ticking You were on that way for a while Well yeah I was confused and not And shy perhaps Yeah I just don't think you were comfortable
15:30 That's probably it yeah Sushma Saraj Can I please get into India Please I actually wrote the wrong passport number I did that Wait you begged to somebody No I wrote the I applied for an Indian visa
15:45 and I wrote the wrong passport number and I had to wait an extra like two weeks and it was I cried up to the person that the DMV. I switched the orders of the numbers. Miss Saraj. Basically. Please let me in. So what, you're saying I can't speak now? No, but I'm saying like I used to be like, you still are. Yeah.
16:04 A put together man. Sure. But I just like, I don't know because like you went to this French immersion school. You've had a lot of experiences. I don't know if your mom put you in any sort of debate or speech. No, I wish. I was in speech therapy. I knew that.
16:16 I was in speech help. Have you ever given a speech? I took a speech class. I'm good at speaking, ish. I'm good at presenting things that I don't know anything about. I was good at doing presentations in class, group projects. They would always do the work and they'd say, you're, Donnie presents. And I was able, like how I do prezis on the act.
16:37 Okay. I was able to see something and go, let's just, you know, let's get through the slide. Okay. Pretend like I know what I'm saying. And it worked. But no, I've never been, but I don't have like a fear of public speaking. If I try to think I could dial it in. I think you could too.
16:52 I think now I'm loose and comfortable and don't really care. If I try to, if I go to a business meeting, perhaps. I think there should be a bar stool show where people have to wear a suit. Yeah. No, just attempt their biggest weakness that they think. You think it's speaking for me? No, but I was just guessing. What is your biggest weakness?
17:11 Probably speaking. Okay. No, definitely not. Okay. Yeah. I can't believe I was almost going to be a speech therapist. I mean, you just were, weren't you? Kind of? That was my undergrad degree, speech pathology. And I even had to do all the shadow, like, the field work, the field experience.
17:34 And the options are, like, young kids and then the opposite. So I went to, yes. Would go to speech therapy? It's either, like, helping young kids, like, learn how to pronounce. the S sound. You would probably work in a school. Or go to a nursing home and help dudes who just had a traumatic brain injury
17:55 from a stroke or a motorcycle accident swallow, purate spaghetti. So I had to do that once in Wheeling at one of the, I forget the type of home, but... Welty, the old person? Every person was... Had just about pseudo-dide, quasi-died.
18:12 Quasi died, yeah. And you just had to feed them and stick tubes in their... mouth. As a speech therapist, you had to feed? That's the job. Like the speech pathologist, yeah. Damn.
18:20 Just feeding. Did you hate that? Feeding dead men. I was like, I cannot do this. I have to do something else. And so you went back to school? Twitter. Oh, you went to Twitter.
18:31 Really started, really started tweeting. Yeah. Yeah, that's how that's, I was, that's what happened to me as well. I cannot do this job. I just can't. Yeah. It was miserable. I get that.
18:45 graphics for you. Yeah. Kind of. But it's like you work for a university. The brand guidelines are so strict. You can only use one font. I couldn't use the color blue at Ohio State. You have no.
18:59 They neutered you. They clipped my wings. You gave you Adderall, basically. Is that a neutering, you think? I think that's a super drug. I don't know. Some people it doesn't. Some people does.
19:09 Anyway, you would have been a good, if you had more of a political agenda. My first major was Polly Sye. You would have been a good Edward Snowden type. You have the build. Thank you, man. I really have a whistleblower. You have a whistleblower bill.
19:27 You have a rat built. Anybody ever tell you you're built like a traitor? Yeah, I guess I do. Yeah, I never tell you of the build of someone who has to flee the state? I loved public speak. I did see yeah I would do the poetry declamation I did our our eighth grade graduation speech the first time I got laughs really yeah yeah I love public speaking I'm more like you though
19:56 I like I like I had the same gig where I wouldn't do any of the work and they'd be like you go up there and then you just wing it because nobody else wants to do that yeah yeah if you speak confidently enough in my head I did great I'm sure it was fucking trash oh yeah I'm saying for me I can't read from a script no no I can't memorize I don't know what happened like you're great at memorizing Kyle I can look at a sentence look at a sentence look at a sentence
20:16 I can't do it and I also can't act for fuck cannot do it so if you did this show what would you be your biggest weakness um
20:26 that's what um like I'm saying no yeah I would have to say no to the show and that'll be like great job man yeah yeah I'm not good at saying no
20:38 I'm big time people pleaser oh gosh somebody came up to me downstairs do you remember what a poor guy No, that is bad. It is bad. Yeah, I know.
20:47 Remember, we were doing a sketch for Wub, and they were like, we asked you because, like, somebody said downstairs, you're the biggest people pleaser in the building. They said that. Yeah, I was like, don't fucking say that. Who said that? They said, Stefan. The opposite of people pleaser. Yeah, he said, what would that be the, what would that be?
21:04 I don't know. A dick? Crumudgeon. Yeah, yeah. Love Stefan. He likes them. He's a Vikings fan. Your Vikings fandom is just because they're undefeated.
21:14 Well, I like the cook. coach. I'm a KFC fan. I'm a coach. I'm a fan of coaching first. So the speech after the game is the most thing. What I care about first is how is the speech? And then if they won, you know, it's better. Okay. So you, I only read tweets. I watch football for the post game coach locker room speech. Yeah. Do you like listen to those to get motivated? No, it doesn't really motivate, but it's nice to see a man leading man. Could you do, I could see you being a good coach? Yeah, maybe if I was, depends on what it's coaching. Hockey? No, I can't coach hockey. I don't know the shit. Could you be a goalie's coach? Do hockey have special coaches? Yeah, they do.
21:49 There's a coach forever positioned. There's even skating coaches. Stick handling coaches, you name it. Did any of you guys go to like a sports therapist? Oh, yeah. Or psychologist, I mean? Uh-huh. No, but that is a common thing.
22:01 Right. Why did you guys get? Because I sucked. Right. And I wanted to kill myself. The only reason you go is if you're fucking bad. Yeah. You can't do.
22:08 Yeah. You have the yips, basically. Basically. And what do they tell you to do? Mine was really weird. I had the same one that Ricky Williams had. The same exact one? Yeah, but she isn't like a sports psychologist.
22:18 Just a regular psychologist. She actually specializes in like dyslexic, disabled children. And she was perfect for me. Yeah. As a grown adult disabled man. But like what did she do that would help you be a better hockey player? Pretty much to give you like sort of delusional confidence. Okay.
22:35 And then not to really worry about anything and just say fuck it. Have fun. Have fun. Did you see that goalie post game interview? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Was that true? He was just like,
22:43 You know, you're talking about Devin Cooley? Yeah. Really? He was in Denver. No shit. He was just like you can't, you have to be in a flow state. You cannot think about hockey. He's a very interesting cat.
22:52 Very interesting guy. It's very cool. He told me to buy Bitcoin in 2014. No fucking way. Yeah, his dad's like a Silicon Valley guy. He's like, you guys got, we were reading Taramisu at a team dinner. He's like, you guys got to get Bitcoin. And I was like, shut up.
23:02 Weird goalie fuck. Yeah. Should have listened. Now look at him. He's a millionaire. I worked at the zoo with our high school goalie. He loved animals. Yeah.
23:10 Golly's a odd breed. Some say, some say. No, everyone says. It is one of the most bizarre. It's bizarre in the fact that you can't even categorize why they're bizarre. Each one is a new brand. Really? Each one is a new brand of weird that doesn't match at all.
23:27 But you can tell immediately when somebody's a goalie. Right. Like aggressively weird, like or like more reserved weird, quirky? All the above. They can be, they have a, every single one is a different kind of weird that is unrelated to the previous kind of weird. They're incredibly, like, esoteric and, like, nuanced and fucking bizarre. Like, Frank is very poorly hidden, I think. Like cats?
23:50 Yeah. Okay. No, I agree. Okay, thanks. Agile. I wasn't very good at riffing there. I don't know. I wasn't a good suggestion.
24:01 Golly. Golly. Golly. Golly. You are such a goalie. Yes. What was, like, what was the most goals you allowed in a game? I don't know.
24:12 Fuck. probably five maybe i had a bad probably a one bad game won't do it i'm trying to think if i ever got pulled well yeah you did because somebody started over you no like pulled in the game it's like if you're playing
24:24 so bad they switch goalies midgame and they go you're done i'm sure it happened um i was our roller hockey goalie what do you mean our roller hockey my team what team is that i went up to uh stuvenville you had a you were on a recreational league yeah i love roller hockey yeah but they alternated goaler hockey yeah but they alternated goal
24:42 I was young, so it would alternate goalies for every game. I don't know if that's like typical and I was our only win. It's typical for you. You got the win? Yeah. You could have made something of yourself. I know, man. You just quit roller hockey?
24:53 Yeah, I hated it. What was your perspective of roller hockey? What was the hockey? Ice hockey. There was a lot of like roller hockey kids in Denver. There was like a pretty big culture. I never really fucked with it, to be honest with you. I didn't like it.
25:06 I didn't ever do it. I was like, why would I just not? I don't know. It's just like where I didn't like that you couldn't stop. I was a legacy. My dad was a roller hockey legend. Your dad was? Yeah, they were like, your dad's will?
25:19 A legend? He let the league in penalty minutes. That's awesome. Yeah, like every year. Oh, he was like that? Yeah. Like physical? Yeah.
25:28 I like that. Getting PIMS is fun. I never did it. Yeah. It lets you know, it's like, it's a net negative on the team. But if you have, like, if you score goals and get points and get PIMs, it means that you're just affecting the game. sort of every way. Every single way. So even if it's like penalties are a net negative, it means that you're
25:45 playing with an edge. Did you like going to the box? Yeah. It was just a nice break or were people talking shit? Well, the only time it's good is when you're like one of the better players. Like when I played at Denver, if I went to the pony box, it was bad. Okay. Because Junda can't be going to the box. I don't have that fucking free will.
26:01 Yeah, I can't be doing that. But if when I was younger, going to a penny box rules, because it's like, yeah, I'm a bad boy. It's fucking hot. I've been getting like I've been getting sexy men at it. of do NHL players in the penalty box Just screaming and saying Fuck fuck
26:16 And every comment was like I thought they were going to like Be like wow what a hot head Yeah What a loser And no they were like oh that is so hot It was always nice getting Like I was good for a couple penalties
26:27 Here and there And as a goal you get one They have to send someone else Because you can't sit in the box They'd always send my brother No way Was your brother mad at you Yeah because yes
26:35 It was usually A goalie penalty Same as a player's penalty You can trip in you get interference You know throw on the net off It's much less common, but it does happen. It happens. Yeah.
26:44 But usually like the worst player, or not the worst, but someone that they're like, all right, you got to serve the penalty and they would always make my brother do it. Would you sign up to be like the emergency goalie for an NHL team? I'm not good enough now. It would be cool, but yeah. It's just like a regular guy, isn't it? Yeah. Ebug.
26:58 What's his name? Brandon Jones is an ebug. Yeah, he's an ebug. Oh, yeah. For the Islanders, yeah. Yeah. No, that'd be cool. Do you get free tickets?
27:06 I'm pretty sure. I don't know. Honestly, how it works. I think you do. Yeah, because you have to go to the game. You have to be physically present, I think. And you can play for either team, right? Yeah, I think.
27:15 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's pretty cool. Yeah, the home team just says one, you have one person in the arena and they, either team. It's always cool. So you pretty much have to be a diehard fan of that team, but there's a chance you would have to play against them. That's like a Hogwarts type caveat.
27:27 Right. That seems like a quittal. A national hockey league. Yeah. Just like, uh, play for either team. I mean, it's, select your poison. Yeah. It's so rare. Which path will you take?
27:38 What? What? That's, that's, that's, That's the National Hockey League. Yeah, but they're the best in the world. There's a Stanley Cup on the line. You're going to let this dude play for a team here. Play for the other team.
27:49 Only what was it last season, two seasons ago was like the Zamboni driver for the rink. It's all, it's like the third. There's three goals on the team and it's like, if they get through all three, then it's, it's like very rare. But it's like dudes that played your level of hockey. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is, yeah. So technically, yes. I should do it.
28:04 I'm sure it's impossible to register now, but I could try. I think you might have some pool. We'll see. Maybe. But like, if you're growing up watching this team and then you have to, like, you would just let the goals in, right? No, I don't think so. You have too much pride. Too much pride in the position.
28:22 Your team's never won a Stanley Cup. You've grown up watching every game. Then you have to play against them. I don't think it ever happens in the Stanley Cup. Well, fuck, man, it could. I don't think it's ever happening in the Stanley Cup. No chance. How many times has it happened ever?
28:33 Five. Okay. Still, like, too many. So much. It's such a weird. I wouldn't even call it a. a role. And like that is the sport and the position with the steepest learning curve. It's got to be. And they can just have a dude sign up to do it. Look it up because now I'm
28:49 curious how many times has an ebug been used in an NHL game. I wonder how that even started. Probably just because like back in the day they're just like fuck we need someone in the net. Right. Fuck my dick's big bitch. What is that? Eminem. Is that a real lyric? He's like, I'm going to measure my dick. Fuck, I need six inches more. Fuck my dick's big, bitch. Why are you making him sound like an old poet? You're holding a skull as you're saying that. What song is that?
29:17 Speak the speech, I pray you. It is my favorite song. Which one is that? I won't back down featuring Pink, I think. Junior year of high school, I was violently obsessed with Eminem, specifically his recovery album. Okay. Which isn't even lauded as one of his good albums.
29:34 But I convinced myself it was the greatest work of art of all time, like masterful wordplay. I remember my Facebook status was M would run lyrical circles around Hove and Wayne. Is that not afraid the first song on that album? Not afraid's on it. Girl, shake your ass like you got goddamn Parkinson's. Like a donkey with Parkinson's. Orchidic flow later flew out.
29:57 Saliva, what can you do? Is Eminem British? I was never an Eminem kid. I'm surprised your folks let you listen. I was 17. I'm surprised your folks let you listen. Yeah, you're right. You're right.
30:11 What's WTP? I forget all the songs. I loved Cinderella Man and won't back down. Love the way you lie. Love the way. That was beautiful. Some of those are pretty good. I remember I was on like hip-hop forums,
30:26 like telling 30-year-old black men from the Bronx that they don't know shit about lyrics. You were schooling guys on that Piff's blog. What was like the first lyric that you were like, that's clever? Like your first experience with like a cleverer. bar. I gave Bruce Wayne a value and told him, settle your fucking
30:43 ass down. Get ready for combat man. Get it. Combat man. He says get it after that? He does. He explained it. That ruins it. I fucking loved Eminem. I was him for Halloween. You were Eminem for Halloween. I didn't go trick or treating. I was just him.
31:01 I don't know. You're right. Practicing. Did you dye your hair or what? Yeah. Um, no. Dureg. Big shirt. Yeah. I used to, I was so obsessed with Eminem as a kid that I used to sit in my mirror and like try to upturn my nose as his was. You wanted just his face. You know what his
31:17 bars or... I was like Clayface. He wanted his cute butt and nose. Yeah. Yeah, I... Retrospect, way more embarrassing than like, re-sing in the lyrics. Yep. Morphing my face. Like, I'm Clayface. Yeah. He was on a German talk show recently at freestyling.
31:33 It's pretty good. I was never an Eminem guy. That's surprising to me. Really? Yes. Really? I feel like... What do you mean? West Virginia?
31:42 My mom wouldn't let me. He was a rapper. Way later. Not an Eminem. Not an Eminet type rapper. No, no. I wasn't a cerebral. Can you freestyle?
31:50 Fuck, no. But dude, he's like everything you dig. It's like pronunciation, iambic pantameter. Yeah, I know. Kind of was. I know. I think I was intimidated. I was always jealous of the guys that could freestyle.
32:02 Me too. Yeah. It's so cool. Have you seen that game where you can freestyle? What game? It'll like... It'll give you syllables that you have to fill in the blank that'll give you the rhyming words. You have the last word of every sentence and you have to freestyle it.
32:14 So it rhymes for you. That's the widest word of freestyle. Oh, yeah. Doing it ad-lib style. It's doing it as a jackbox game. Yeah. It's the only way I freestyle. I prefer to do it with a bit more structure.
32:26 Sort of a hooked-on phonics version of freestyle. I've tried freestyle. I can't. I'd always freeze. Did you ever have a rap? Did you ever try to be a rapper? No, I never, no, because I knew I couldn't. I never tried.
32:36 but everyone dreams. Yeah, I know. I know. That's true. If you're looking for better coffee with the greater purpose, of course, it's Stella Blue Coffee.
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33:42 use the store locator to find a store near you and help save the lives of pets. Stella Blue Coffee. Great coffee with the purpose. This is my first podcast since the H3 drama. Well, yeah, that just happened. You didn't wait for your take. Donnie, you don't have a podcast, and it just happened.
34:03 You know what actually? I grew up. I loved. I loved Ethan Klein. This is actually my first podcast since the drama, too. Was he funny? Was he like a community? Yeah, he made funny. He made really funny videos. He made really funny videos. Just like shitting on. Was he a vine? Was he a fellow viner? No, he was like YouTube or before that.
34:19 He was like in the early like Idubs. Like Ray William Johnson? After that. Okay. But yeah, him discovering, um, what was it? The band that sings Get Down B44, the band that has three people. But it's a Canadian, like, tan group. And his video of, like, talking about that was, like, my first introduction
34:42 to, like, internet commentary, funny videos. I loved it. He was a pioneer of that style. Shout out. Well, well, to the style, I guess, but. Yeah. The clips, I am addicted to the clips. They've ever, like, they're so funny.
34:56 Just going, yes. It's very funny to watch from a distance. I mean, I don't do a podcast with your wife. No. If you're going to. I mean, it happened to Tom Seguera, too. That's the take away. The takeaway from that is don't do a podcast with your wife.
35:11 If you're going to cheat, don't do a podcast with your wife. That's what happened to Seguera and Tiffany, too? I don't think that was her name. Christina. Christina. But yeah, but then people just parse through thousands and thousands of hours. They're like, up, you could tell. Yeah, yeah. We should have known.
35:26 Yeah. It was funny to me for like the first day, seeing like all the old clips. And now I'm at the point where I'm like wincing. Doing a podcast with a one. wife or your mom. We tried that here. Just doesn't. Oh, mom and daughter podcast?
35:39 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's too bad. Mother knows best. Was that what it was called? I believe so. Were you the producer of that, Rudy? No, it was a producer of Mean Girls for a bit.
35:52 Okay. That was fun. Had a blast. In what way? Was it fun? Were there any not-so-fun moments? Yes. Lots, actually.
36:03 Yeah. Like what? Using me like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a prop, like making a, like, it was like I was in a fan fiction, but I was real life. You were their Milfunter. Yeah. No, they were just like, make, they just like made up like plot lines about me. Well, that's what Milfander was like. As a prop or like, like, oh, weren't you like lied about you?
36:21 In a relationship at the time and then they were like, they, I don't even remember if I was in a relationship, but they just like, they just like insinuated that I, I, like, me and Jordan, like, had a thing, which was like just completely not true. Jordan who was on the program, who was on the program, who was on the program, who was. who was also not party really to that. Did you have a mic? Did you have like a mic in Friday? Were you allowed to like be like, no-uh. Yeah,
36:41 well, you were on, you were the producer. You were there like, all right, so Rudy here was fucking around and hooking up with, with you here.
36:50 Both parties are here on a, on a microphone. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I think if they were talking about that and you were sitting right there and didn't refute,
36:56 I'd be like, yeah, right. Yeah, they did it. It's funny. That is funnier, but what happened was
37:01 that happened in between recordings. Oh. And they were just, like, took to Twitter. And I don't even think Jordan, I don't know the full, I don't know. But, like, Jordan was like, I don't think Jordan knew that much about it. I think Alex was like, oh, let's just like, she's the mastermind. Feed into this drama.
37:14 And then, like, I was, like, I was, like, I was, like, feed the flames. I don't think Kim knew what the fuck was. You were using Kim? Don't use Kim, man. Yeah, I was just like, all right, I don't know. I called Kivsy. He was like, can I quit this? She was great.
37:24 Yeah. She was like, she was really making good stuff. Not, no, you're talking about her baking? Yeah. Well, I heard. You hear that's, it was all store-bought? Well, I heard that's, that's a rumor. It's a nasty rumor if it's true.
37:39 Well, that, I mean, that ruins a chef and a baker. It does, yeah. Bakers and chefs have a rivalry, actually. I don't think they do. Because bakers are like, cooking's easy. You just add more salt or butter. Baking is a science. They're like deer's an elk.
37:51 You're a freestiler. They are, they have it controlled. They have it all. It's different. It's different, for sure. Yeah, it's different. It's different. It had a really good roast to me during surviving Barstool that had 100%
38:01 wasn't written by you. Oh, I did do that. The writing session with Kim was great. Oh, yeah, you ghost wrote for Kim for a reality show. I remember this. No, yeah. That should be the fucking pinnacle
38:16 right there. Oh, he jumped at the opportunity. Kim, you mean you to me to write that? Yeah. Hey, Kim. What was Kim saying? Like, hitting you with like, pungent witticisms?
38:27 Yeah, I mean, it was, yeah, it was very clever and, like, well-written. Kim had a reference to Voltaire in there? Damn, Kim. I wish I remembered it better. Yeah. I hope she's doing well. I'm sure she's fine, yeah?
38:40 Yeah. Yeah. I'm back to the planes. Of Oklahoma. Man, that place sucks. The planes would depress the fuck out of me if I had to live there. It's flat here, but at least there's buildings and water. I guess there's a beauty to the horizon.
38:57 The painted desert's nice. Where's that? South Dakota, North Dakota. you would know. The painted desert. The painted desert. Is it Dakota? I think maybe Arizona. Painted desert.
39:06 It's beautiful. I've seen it once. In person? Yeah. And you don't know what... I was young. I used to drive all over. Where is that?
39:14 You drove from... Minnesota to the painted desert. Yeah, my family was to road trip. We'd all pile up and put DisneyXD on the radio. You drove to Arizona? Yeah. That's beautiful. And those aren't planes in the slightest fucking bit.
39:29 Not. Not the Dakotas in the slightest bit. Yeah, that's the painting desert. It's quite bumpy. Yeah. The Badlands are nice, though. That's the Dakotas. You know, that we, yeah, that was where, what, fucking Custards last stand was.
39:46 The badlands are beautiful. That's in Western South Dakota. But North Dakota as a whole, I mean, as much as I, like, the people are nice, but that, that has to be the worst state. And it really never gets brought up in worse state arguments. It doesn't, because I think it's almost. like a bottom of the barrel kind of thing because you just say it because you don't know what's going on there.
40:03 I think going to NDU would have been fun. Yeah. It's just there's just not, it's just kind of unremarkable. Is that a huge Denver rival? North Dakota? Yeah.
40:12 The biggest. Yeah, insane facilities. Like, I guess their hockey culture is the rank, that's the number one thing they have in the whole state.
40:19 They have one of the nicest college or maybe not now but I remember we were when we go to Fargo for hockey tournaments. We tour that, that arena is insane. It's an NHHL arena. They have a laser show.
40:27 Yeah. Yeah, playing there at the Ralph was like one of my biggest Ralph Engelsted, yeah. Yeah, they have leather seats. Everywhere? Yeah. For the players.
40:36 No, for every fan is leather, green leather seat. It's insane. It's insane. But yeah, Fargo. Yeah. We used to go there as kids for every year, a hockey tournament every year. A young peewee tournament, you trade pins, and it would always be older men. The pin culture was crazy. But it was kids with pins, which was fun.
40:51 And then there would just be like 50-year-old men with no kids there, just trading pins with children, which seems the pin culture was a little odd. It was. dude when I went to the Quebec Pewee International Tournament it was like Complexcon for pin trading Jesus yeah you got like Russian kids
41:06 haggling with the you know Hungarian kids for pins I never was like I didn't want to haggle for pins I didn't really care but people really loved that yeah we went to pin was probably sought after people loved our pen yeah that ours our pin was cool
41:20 Rosemont had a good pin but yeah the Adina pins went quick yeah we went to Adina did you know when I played a for Littleton. Do people have a northern accent up there? In Minnesota?
41:33 Like, you don't? Yeah, because I... That kind of snuck out there. Yeah, they have a Canadian. They have a very distinct accent. There's an accent, yeah. I mean, I could turn it on and if a certain words, it will come out. But if I'm back home for long enough, it'll start...
41:45 I'll slip into a dialect, different dialect. Somalian. Yeah. My Minnesota accent. Jacob Frye's working at, or mayor's working at a, like, an all-Somalian restaurant. Every time he's speaking... Your mayor is working at a Somalian restaurant. He speaks blue in Somali now.
42:01 It's very funny to see. He's the whitest guy you'll see. I've seen him before. Let me name some other high schools. Okay. Tell me what you think of them. Sure. Because I know that Adina is the most hated.
42:12 Yeah. Cake eaters. Yep. Eden Prairie. Next door neighbors to us, yeah. Like them? dislike them? I mean, they're our biggest rivals.
42:20 It's basically Dinah. Okay. Lakeville. Lakeville's really good. They beat us in the state championship when I was a senior. But good. I don't like them or hate them. It's more of Lakeville.
42:31 Bloomington. Not much going on there. The big ice arena, the B-I-G. That's where they filmed a scene a miracle, or that's where the miracle team practice. It's called the big ice arena, but they call it the big. It's big, yeah, B-I-G. Is it big?
42:44 It has three sheets of ice. What does the B and the Big stand for? Big? Bloomington, Ice Garden. Oh, okay. But they filmed Miracle. It's like her book's, that's where they had the tryouts for, and the opening scene is that big.
42:57 Are the Somalis like getting integrated into Minnesota culture? Like are they trying out for ice hockey? Are they getting on the lake? I haven't been back in forever, so I can't attest to that. I don't know. I've been reading into it and looking at videos. And I guess there's more tension than I thought. I thought it was a pretty symbiotic relationship, but no.
43:18 No, I don't know. I just know that they're selling hijabs now at like the school. With the Viking horns on the side. With like a school logo on it, yeah, which is nice. It's fine. Yeah. I would wear a I would wear a Dynah hijab
43:29 in a second Get one I want to But I don't need it Yeah I understand You don't need it You just really really want to
43:38 I would rock one to school Every day They'd say no hats I say it's not a hat When you were on a Dana show Yeah Really opened up about like how you had like six months It was like a
43:50 It was a turn Your barstool tenure was terminal Yeah At a point You had six months to prove yourself What were something? What were some things that you thought you could pivot to that you, like, is there anything that you scrapped that didn't work out? No.
44:03 You're stuck with? Stuck with cooking, yeah. I don't think I scrapped anything. I was, I was ready to be like, all right, what doesn't work out? Let's go back. I'll just edit again. But you started like die trying in that time. No, that trying was from 2020.
44:15 Did I try was pre-COVID. Oh, oh my God. You're right. Great hoodie. Yeah, great hoodie. Yeah. That came about when I was storm chasing the Caleb and her own. And then I had this idea.
44:26 Roan named the show. I forgot to mention this. I was like, I wanted to call it like Master of None. And he's like, that's a shitty Netflix show without... As he's anzari. He goes, that show should be called Die Trian. And that's how it started. And then you did it, yeah. Yeah.
44:39 Okay. So that wasn't, there was no, like, desperation move. You weren't going to, like, give your gambling picks or anything. No, no, because that wouldn't have come off. Well, thankfully, we had a kitchen here. I was just able to finally cook. Us hiring a chef, not having a kitchen is a tough... Yeah, but they didn't hire me to be a chef.
44:55 I didn't, you know, that's not really how it started, so. So when did you take, take on the name, Chef Donnie? I've been that since middle school. It's been my username. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Since middle school? Eighth grade.
45:05 Your AIM name? My AIM, my Instagram name. What was your, did you have AIM or are you too young? No, I know what it is. I don't think I had it. Okay. I had 4chan. Not fortune.
45:16 Facebook, My friend? Facebook, Form Spring. What's Form Spring? Form Spring was like an anonymous chat site. What were you doing on there? Form Spring. You remember Form Spring? Yikiac, Form Spring.
45:26 I don't remember Form Spring at all. Form Spring, you would have an account and people could ask you anonymous questions. Yeah. What were they asking? I don't know. I was more doing the asking. It was all, what's your bo-
45:35 It was sober-bole. It was sober-biting. Yeah. I would, not for me. That wasn't the questions I was asking. It was more intellectual, I think. Like what? I don't know.
45:43 Like, what did you got in the physics score? What's answer? Answer F. Force times a massive out of biop protein. Yeah. Something like that. In another life, I could see you being a scientist.
45:55 I think you were born too late to discover. See, yes, I think you know the famous quote. Tell me? You know the quote. But there's so many quotes. Born too early to explore the stars,
46:08 born too late to explore the world. Born right on time to explore the seas. Born right on time to find something in between. Yeah. The deep seas, maybe? I do know that quote. Yeah. But I could see you,
46:19 have you always wanted to like mix test tubes? Yeah, I was really good at science. I just wasn't good at math. Yeah, that's a good. Yeah, I know I'm the same way. Quiggs always tells me I have an engineer's brain. Does he? Yes, I don't know if he's joking around or not.
46:31 Does he hate engineers? Well, Quiggs and I have a group chat, the solo chat, just us, no group. Where I send him physics problems and say, what's the answer? But, like, when he gives you the answer, does that, like, what's that do for you? Nothing at all. Okay. It's more for him. I'm more testing his wits.
46:47 Oh, okay. Is he good at it? No, sometimes he's like, I don't know any of this. Why are you asking? But he said he would teach me We could do a math class, so I'd be cool. I would love to get better at math. Yeah.
46:59 It's crazy how quickly in life ambitions and optimism fades naturally. Sad. Because in like second, third grade, you're like, I'm going to be a pro athlete or like a scientist, a mathematician, or a celebrity.
47:17 Then somewhere along the lines in like sixth grade, you're like, I know I'm not. It's go to, college and then you're working at some ambiguous desk job for the rest of your life. Yeah, there's a point where the milestones stop as well. And then when I remember like applying to colleges and not even thinking about like what I was going to do, I just knew it was going to be just this placeholder job that I'm going to hate for the rest of my life.
47:43 Yeah. And I think we're the last of that era. You think people are now now chasing passion? No, kids can just be like, oh, I'm going to fucking edit for MOOC. I don't need to pay attention in college They can mod for Bush I'll clip, I'll edit I'll be awesome
48:01 Like I'll do what we do I think I don't even think I think it's past people wanting to do this I think people just want to be IRL streamers Yeah Just like I'm gonna go live I'm gonna have a girl sit on my lap
48:11 Be the next child the builder Not probably not him Was he not a streamer? Yeah he is okay Kaisana That's who I was thinking of The big one The biggest one
48:27 I show speed There we go Yeah yeah Who's like a polygot He can speak multiple languages Yeah he should speed Yeah I think he was on
48:36 Omega when an Indonesian girl popped on He was just Just ripping Indonesia Yeah It's crazy Omega's still a thing I know That is that's one that's really That should have been shut down
48:44 Hell chat roulette died That's dead Thank God I think I don't know I haven't used it I don't haven't used Omegal either I haven't either
48:50 Used to have sleepovers on Fridays and go on that. Yeah, that was a big pastime. But it was always dicks, but you're hoping to see a chick. A lot of dicks. There was no chicks on there. No.
49:00 Now it's probably riddle with AI chicks. Oh, I bet. I was always really uncomfortable doing that. Talking to women online through a webcam? Yeah. Yeah. Just doing Omega. My friends loved it,
49:11 but I always was scared of doing that. It was just like an intimidating freak show to me. Yeah, because how do you start talking? What do you talk about? Or is Omega the one where you type in your interest? No. that. I just, it's just like Russian roulette. It was the same as chat roulette.
49:25 You just went, it was just like brown cock, brown cock, brown cock, girl for five seconds, brown cock. Or you get lucky. A lot of four skins. Yeah, a lot of uncut. A lot of four skins. You get lucky with like a Harry Mac freestyle. Yeah, so you try.
49:44 Yo, give me three words. Three interesting words. Can't be color. Can't be... More syllables. Come on. Medichondria. Mesopotamia. All right.
49:56 All right. Is he still doing the thing? Yeah. He's good, but he's live like 24 hours a day just doing it. He's exhausted. He's so tired. Can I ask chef something? Yeah.
50:11 You talked about, you know, chefs faking it, buying goods. You were supposed to host Thanksgiving this year. I heard you backed out. Yeah, you did. After spilling soup everywhere, Moresh. I know. And you've talked to big games, like, daily for a year. Trust me, trust me.
50:25 It'd be the best thing you ever have. So he didn't spill soup. Spilling soup is underselling it dramatically. Right. It was a Chernobyl level event. Someone should have turned the crock pot on when they got there. You don't know how to use a crock pot. No, someone should have plugged it in.
50:37 There was a minor explosion. There was a crack. There was a, what do you call it? There was a, it was a fissure. The Mariana Trench type of crack. That's big. That's very big. It's a tectonic movement.
50:50 It's a deep. I'm there on a trench I thought it's silences Sorry this is my front door Your front door's been calling you so much It's that one Thank you Yeah so no Thanksgiving
51:06 I had planned In the summer I told my family I said hey heads up I'm not gonna I'm not doing Thanksgiving this year I got my own thing And then my whole family I decided to go to Dallas
51:15 To meet my sister's soon to be fiance's family And I was the only one not going and I said I can't be the shame of the family not to go. So I bucked up at the last minute. I canceled well in advance, though. When went? I did. I gave the guys enough time.
51:32 Yeah, but we were really excited. Trust me, I was excited. I'll have you guys over for dinner. It's better than having turkey anyway. But turkey on things. A good turkey on thanks for that? I know. Yeah.
51:42 I trust me, I've let myself down on that multiple times. Once. But you say you're going to host dinners too and you don't do that. Well, you're never around. Let's be honest. Constantly around. He's only around. When was last time I wasn't around?
51:56 That's a good point. Yeah. Yeah, I feel bad at all Thanksgiving. Luke, thank you for calling him out on that. Broke my heart. I was looking forward to it. I'll have you guys over on that Tuesday. We'll do it a day early.
52:09 A couple days early. Okay. Yeah? Yeah. Can Marech throw soup around? There will be no throwing of soup. But if Marech wants to bring a crock-pock and have you carried in and you won't plug it in.
52:20 Wait, why are you blaming Mook? Mook didn't plug the crock pot in. My job was over when I walked the crock pot in the... See, we have different, you know, it's he said, it's they said, me said, it's different. That's exactly what it is. That is exactly what it is. That's right. Look, was the turkey phenomenal?
52:37 Yes. Unbelievable. Did Moresh give me alcohol that was 150 proof on accident and not tell me until it was too late? Also true. How much did you have? Enough. That was the night gay chef was born. Yeah, that's what gay chef.
52:52 He was, yeah. And that kind of has lingered. It's become a thing. It's becoming a thing because of you. Yeah, you're right. No, it was because of you. No, you, you unprompted. We were having a conversation about something completely different.
53:01 And you go, by the way, I'm not a gay chef. Ebo, no one gives Ebo enough credit for being the one that started saying that and no one else heard it besides me. He was calling me gay chef. No, none of you heard it. And I just made an announcement to the room because I assumed he was telling everybody. And I said, by the way, everyone. But we were. You can understand how it looks.
53:21 Yeah, it looks like I'm just saying, hey, I'm not gay, which is the most gay thing you can say. But also, you followed up your defense by saying, you guys haven't been in Boys Town at 4 a.m. Yeah, what was that? That was, that's, that I can't really tell. I don't know. You're a funny drunk. I don't know. You don't know. That was just whatever came to mind.
53:41 That was Word Association. Are you good at Word Association? I would assume. All right. DNA. Pirate. My pirate. Were you thinking of Somalia?
53:56 From earlier? I don't know. Okay. Because, like, in my DNA, maybe I'm a pirate. Okay. There we go. Sled. Bowling.
54:06 Bowling. I can actually see where you're going with that. Come on. It's a ramp where you push the ball down. It looks like a sled inhale. Yeah, there you go. I'll give him one. Oh, my God.
54:16 Okay. Lawrence. Father. Is that your dad's name? No, but it's a name of an older man. Okay. Attorney. Poyer.
54:31 Yeah. I had nothing for that one. Freckles. Face. Nice. That was impressive. That was good. That would be like a 10 out of 10.
54:40 So give Kyle one and then grade how he does. Chernobyl. Disaster. That was good. Fuck. Stump them. Airplane. Wings.
54:51 Fuck, that's good. All right, you're better at it, obviously. Well, I've done this my whole life. All right, Donnie, helicopter. Pain. Yeah. Why pain? Kobe?
55:07 Yeah. Yeah. Kobe. Bryant. Very good. Lay that one up for you. Nice. Good.
55:18 Good. Xilophone. Fax. Fax. Fax. fax machine. Sounds like a xylophone. Wow. They both spelled another not.
55:29 They both have an X? Fax machine stands for facsimila. Fassimila. Fax is short for Fossimila. Which means what? I don't know. It's a Latin word, I believe. To print, maybe. Fax means facimila?
55:45 Yeah. Don't, not in Latin. To search that, what's Fax machine short for? I guarantee it's Fossimila or something like that. Faximile. yeah oh my god yeah thank you to make nice dude very cool thank you jerry west jerry west jerry west pistol pete maryvich yeah fair white basketball player yeah no no no you did good you did very good um we'll give you one more okay car how do you wait what what thermometer oh huh heroin meth smash smash smash smack okay thermometer fine fine fan
56:32 fan. So you're just trying to think of a word real quick. Yeah, you're just thinking of any word real quick. Which you're not quite good at. Say five words right now. Pizza pasta, Peter Pan. Is that four words? Four words. One more word. Pencil. Pizza pasta Peter Pan pencil. You'd be good at categories.
57:00 Pizza, pasta, Peter Pan, Pencil. so fuck my dick's big bitch I put it on a pro tractor All right Chef Always a blast Come back anytime Of course
57:14 Anything you want to plug What's your Halloween plans? My Halloween plans? Where are you going to be? I'm going to be the Do the Roar Boy From Shrek Who's that?
57:28 Pretty obscure character for Shrek It is obscure The Roar boy I made the costume myself. It's the boy that goes up to Shrek and tells him to do the roar. That's awesome. That's a character?
57:39 You're going to be him, the little portly boy with the lollipop? Exactly, that's me. And you're going to have to go to the costume contest? I have, I made the costume myself. I bought women's shoes. Why is that necessary? Because he's wearing Mary Jane shoes, if you can see. Married, yes, big bows.
57:57 And are you brushing your hair down? Yeah, I probably should. Yeah. Do you have the hat? Oh, God, do I have the hat? I have the exact hat, Nick. And the lolly. And I went online and bought the biggest lolly I could find.
58:12 How big? Bigger. And for the audio listeners, what's your hand up? Bigger than your hand. Is that what you're being for the barstool costume? I mean, I don't know. I would assume so. If not, I have a Crusader's outfit.
58:31 but oh you didn't return the helmet no I bought a new one actually when you told you said I should have kept it yesterday I was like dude just wear the Crusader's helmet he was like I returned it I was like dude that was sick and that's all it took and you just went and bought another I did yeah what's not now same exact one the lubed helmet it's going to be the same one you bought
58:49 like physically the exact same one yeah but I don't know which one will do better for the you know it's worth a thousand bucks this year so oh it is I think yeah it is oh shit you guys ever had like a smash excess of a costume that just wowed everyone around you. I wowed adults.
59:06 I went as a box one year and everybody thought that was hilarious. The adults you were trick-or-treating. Yeah. They thought that was hilarious. I went as a cell phone. My mom made it out of like cardboard and it was like during, it was like when I was a kid so cell phones were like kind of new, I guess. Wasn't it working too? Like did you have buttons that worked?
59:22 Yeah. Oh wow. That's a great costume. That is a good costume. People are just touching me all night. I've only had one that went well and it was literally last year. Oh, you're Batman? Batman.
59:30 Batman? Hockey pads. And you had the quote wrong. We call him Batman? I had the quote wrong, but it was still in essence. That almost helped you. Yeah. Hockey pants are hockey pads.
59:39 Correct. Yeah. Another follow-up debate. But yeah, that was the only one I've had that did well. I thought I really nailed it with TSA. That was a good costume. And then it did well. Oh, what about a SeaWorld?
59:50 Yeah, no, I was going to bring that up. That's great. Dolphin trainer, yeah. They've thrown people's Swedish fish. Wed suit, bucket of Swedish fish. Microphone. You and Wolf always do couples costume. We do.
01:00:00 He's not here this year, so that's why I'm... Where the fuck's he going? He is going to be in this great city of Austin, Texas. Ah, I had a good one. I had a couple's costume. I was Ash Ketchum, and my 5'3 homie, Alfredo, was Pikachu. Wait, I did that with my... Freshman year of college.
01:00:21 I did that freshman year of college. And I would chase him around campus. So it was like Ash chasing Pikachu. Pikachu. And we did that all night, like full-blown sprint chases and well I guess it answered the question was I willing to do an Olympic level high intensity sprint workout for the chance to get some laughs from women the age old question no no I think Halloween's one of those things that if you you got to go all in or you can't
01:00:53 half that you can't just put a cloak on and a little can't just do a cloak I lost a chick to a to a walking shrub. Really? It was me as Ash Ketchum. And you had Alfredo as your accessory. A shrub. Alfredo was a shrub who was completely covered in shrubbery. Like you couldn't even see his face.
01:01:13 And a chick, we're all on a couch at the end of the night. And they went to the bathroom, came back, and asked me to do a sheets run for them. And they offered me $5. And I was it for the sheets. are just on top of the sheets like four of the sheets so I had to get them schmiskets and kazozles
01:01:36 he hasn't even shown you his face you're picking the shrub we're on this plaid couch at 4 a.m. I thought it was I thought I had it in the bag yeah the shrub won at least take off the shrub show him she didn't care
01:01:52 for my sake damn he must have had a good voice what about Alfredo what was he? What was your plan for him? He was an accessory. He was an accessory. I went out in Pittsburgh as a chewed piece of gum.
01:02:07 So I wore all pink and I just had a pink taboggan pink sweatshirt, pink pants and with a shoe on my head. And the ladies loved it. That is good. The ladies of color loved it. That was the funniest thing. They did? Yeah. And I loved that felt so good.
01:02:22 And then I was a speed bump one year as a boy. So I just wore all yellow and my mom put like tire through paint. Oh, that's great. That's really good. laid down. You're big doorstep. I love objects. I was a Roman pillar once.
01:02:34 This is what just me as a boy. That's good. It's always a thing, a thing that nobody cared about. So yeah. It was just good. I don't, adults tend to poo poo Halloween. I, I, I, I enjoy it. Moresh hates it.
01:02:47 Mareche hates it. Sats just, though. I love Halloween. Yeah, it's great. I don't know. I also love, like I grew up with a, my neighbors always did the most whimsical, like, oh, they go crazy? Fog machine, Hana.
01:02:58 house animatronics, father without teeth, like it just, when they went forever, so. The father without teeth. He was an ex-ed-a-inch L player. He could pull his teeth out of all the main you and taste. So he was going as a father without teeth. Are you a haunted house guy? I went to one last year at the Juliet prison. It was quite nice.
01:03:16 Did it, like, did it scare you? A couple pawbells get me, but what gets me with a haunted house is like, you know you're going to be scared. So, like, I'm the same way. You're already like not, you know what I mean? You're braced as fuck. You're expecting it. But it was cool that it was in an old,
01:03:28 prison so like that it was night but i've never had a haunted house that really grabbed me i like uh the valley fair was always fun valley scare six flags after dark like that when they when six flags when the amusement parks do their Halloween theme it's always it's always it's always fun would you uh we could talk we could talk off air sure we we we we i would love to go to the valley fair with you okay is that the question no all right uh chef thank you man of course everybody else thank you sorry your guest canceled but uh no you were great. You filled in. Filled in greatly. God bless.