Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Burning Man Flooded, FouseyTube Arrested, & Logan Paul Vs Dillon Danis Goes Too Far

Episode Date: September 5, 2023

WHATS UP PEOPLE, we got a chill lil boys eppy for you. We get into this burning man debacle, is Fousey having a mental health crisis or just playing an act, and have the fans taken the Logan Paul/ Dillon Danis beef too far? 00:00 Start 00:27 Perfect Burning Man for Akaash + Missing out 04:43 Akaash’s Special recording: “better than my Wedding” 08:27 How does Akaash dress himself? 16:21 Akaash happy Flagrant wasn’t there 18:56 Andrew ruined Chifftie + no-one can get sick 24:55 The Hamptons + Tennis is better than Padelball 33:23 AirBnB’s value + Alexx’s Jewish settler 45:26 Deion Sanders Colorado’s impressive win 57:52 NFL kicking off - IT’S COWBOYS’ YEAR 01:05:54 McConnell Mannequin World Champion 01:08:21 Too smart to cop + profiling and intelligence 01:18:17 Fake Agdal video + Crypto Brokies 01:30:51 Andrew’s Armageddon Tears + Autism competition 01:40:30 Fousey’s arrest + comfortable being shameless 01:50:30 NYC’s full of Fouseys + Mace it up + 9/11 repercussions 01:58:14 Gender Reveal Parties designed by Fousey 02:00:46 Brown Snakes on a Plane 02:02:48 Whites like to poo on themselves

What's up everybody and welcome to Flagrant and I just want to let you all know right now I know there's been a lot of messages because there was a lot of concern. You were like, are you guys okay at Burning Man? I know you're stuck in the mud. Is everything okay? Is everybody safe? Does everybody have enough food? Does everybody have enough water? And the answer to all that is yes, because we were in the Hamptons. They have almost no mud and they have tons of water and tons of food. We're having an absolutely amazing time and Akash was obviously filming his newest special. Yeah, let's go.

Now, any regrets for not being at Burning Man? We know that you have none. You guys. I think this might be the most fun year. I think so. Akash has a bunch of regrets. All that money.

Like, come on. Son, if there was one year you needed to go out there. This is the year I should have gone, dude. This is how you know God don't want me at Burning Man because he took me out

the one year I would have liked. Or, or he was like, damn, we were too hard on that kid the first time. We need to give him his ideal Burning Man this time around.

Yeah, but then he wouldn't have put it this weekend. He wouldn't have put the special date this weekend. That's how it all felt. God doesn't want me a burning man, bro. He wants me to stay faithful to my wife away from the mud. Does it count

as cheating in your culture when you guys fuck the ground? Yeah, because we love it so much. But that does count as cheating. It has to. You know what I mean? It's just like it's the passion about it. It's not the fucking. It's the passion with which we do it. You know what I mean? It's like emotional cheating. Yeah, it's emotional cheating. It's the spirit of cheating. I's not the fucking. It's the passion with which we do it. You know what I mean? It's like emotional cheating.

Yeah. Yeah, it's emotional cheating. It's the spirit of cheating. I mean, look at that and try to not beat your dick. Just imagine that. Just imagine any time you exit your tent, you could just. Michael Jackson dance where he's just like on the ground and he's like, do you remember that shit? Oh, Jesus, that bombed.

Dude, that's fucking unbelievable. You could kind of feel it in the beginning. You could kind of feel the Michael the beginning. You could kind of feel the Michael Jackson dance. If you remembered it, then it would have been good. Yeah, it's our fault. It's our fault.

That Michael Jackson dance, no one thought Moonwalk. No one thought Moonwalk. These guys have vacationed two times. Why are you victim blaming? You guys are on vacation. You got a war bomb.

Hey, our bad guys. Hey, guys. I want to teach individually to apologize to Alex first. You should. You should. Alex, you're right. I'm sorry. I apologize.

I should have known about the Michael Jackson dance where he does that. I'm sorry. I accept your apology. I'm sorry. I don't know how it slipped my mind. We can proceed. I don't know what he meant. Okay.

I think, Mark, you're 100% right. I think, listen, as annoying as it would be, and obviously looking at it right now going, okay, I'm pretty glad we weren't there. It looks kind of fucking crazy. Can't leave whenever you want. Everybody's full of fucking mud. It looks disgusting. I do think that it would be the best Burning Man. Yes, dude.

I mean that 100%. I think hardcore burners are very happy this happened. Because it's going to weed out the people who are like casual. Yes, dude. I mean that 100%. I think hardcore burners are very happy this happened because it's going to weed out the people who are like, oh yeah, yeah, 100%. But also like Burning Man is about doing drugs, but it's also about connecting with people. On drugs. Yes. And the best way to connect with people is drugs. But the second best way to connect with people is to have a group struggle. Yeah, that's right. That's true. And it's why, like, everybody in Canada is so nice.

It's because you need to be nice to your neighbor because you might die. Your heat goes out in the winter. It's negative 40. You'll die. You need to be able to go to your neighbor's house and say, hey, how you doing? Can I stay with you so I don't die and my family doesn't die? And they go, of course you can. So they're polite.

They're kind. Yeah. It's like CrossFit people are weird. Keep going on that. Because they're all hanging out, doing hard work together all the time, of course you can. So they're polite, they're kind. Yeah, it's like CrossFit people are weird. Keep going on that. Because they're all hanging out, doing hard work together all the time, four days a week. And by the end of like a month, they're like, you're my brother. Yeah. Work out together. Like, no, no, no.

We've almost died four times. But it has to be almost death. It has to be that level. Because I thought about this, and I was like, well, why? It's not just inclement weather, because then people in Portland would be nice. But the problem with Portland is it's just rain. Yeah. It doesn't kill you. Yeah. It's the perfect amount to just drive you crazy.

Yeah. Without ever hurting you. No bonding. No bonding. It's sadness, but not hardship. There you go. Hardship comes together. Yeah.

Hardship brings you together. You're an army. Yeah. You're going against the mud. Yeah. You know, I think that's what the British used to do. Was that the... No, okay. I'll take it.

Michael Jackson. I'm with the mud jokes. I participated. I just didn't get it. It wasn't... I apologize, dude. It's on me. Fucking hell. Let me get it back.

The point is, I think that this would be by far the most fun Burning Man to be at. And is there a little part of me that's upset that we didn't go? Yeah. But we also had a fucking incredible time. Like it was, this week was fantastic.

Talk about it. Well, I first want to talk about your especiale. I mean, maybe the best weekend of my life. Really? Yeah, like, up there with the wedding. Really? Yeah, and I don't even feel bad saying that. All right, all right.

I don't even feel bad saying that. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What do you mean, up there? What do you mean? It's, like, tied for first, and it might be first. How close? You know what I mean? It might beat out the wedding.

Are you saying it publicly? He only mentioned his wedding just so he doesn't get tied tonight. No, you will see this. When you get married, that's a fucking unbelievable thing. But my wife is also here with me, shared the whole thing. And she'd been with me through all the broke shit. So like, I have an out to be like, hey, you know what I mean? You were at both.

So I can kind of get away with it. But the wedding is amazing. It's like a different level of happiness. But this was like, you get this because we're older. What the one hour comedy special has meant to us, our whole lives. I remember watching Bring the Pain and being like, what the one-hour comedy special has meant to us our whole lives. I remember watching Bring the Pain and being like,

what the fuck? I remember downloading Killing Them Softly on an album and playing it on the scene. You never watched a video of a wedding and been like,

oh my God. Yeah, as men, you're not conditioned to dream about it. So if you could relive one of them once, which one?

Comedy special. Okay. And what's crazier, what's crazier, I already lived it four times. There was four tapings. Comedy special. Yeah, you want to do a times. There was four tapings. Comedy special. You want to do a fifth?

Yeah, fifth, absolutely. Oh, awesome. It was the greatest. And I really wanted to say thank you. First of all, you showed us we don't need the networks. And I've been thinking just kind of like processing everything. And it was no networks. I didn't even go to them.

I just paid for it. And the reason I was able to pay for it is because this little pod we started and you guys have supported us. So thank you guys. I was able to pay for it. It was a pod we started and you guys have supported us. So thank you guys. I was able to pay for it. It was a lot of money and it fucking hurt to pay for. But like, I'm so grateful to everybody, the fans who came out. I didn't even know people flew in from Seattle. I mean, emotional talking about it.

Canada, fucking Miami, L.A., New York. People missed the sets we ran in New York Comedy Club and they flew down from New York. We even went to the Hamptons for it. You guys went to the Hamptons, which I really appreciate. I would have been nervous if y'all were there. I would have been like, I hate knowing a bunch of people in the audience. That's what I'm saying. We got farther from you. You guys did me a huge favor going further away.

But like, yeah, they said people were lining up like six hours early to get front row seats and shit like that. It was crazy. Somebody, I don't know, somebody stole the stool I was sitting on. People were like trying to buy pieces of the set. We're actually trying to find a way to... Thank you, man. I didn't know how stole the stool I was sitting on people were like trying to buy pieces of the set

we're actually trying to find a way thank you man I didn't know how many pictures leaked or whatever shout out to Nick Nick Pastore fucking brilliant

the outfit was sick too we mentioned them on this podcast they made a piece that I think you guys would actually like oh is that the website that we went through

yeah yeah they got some fire shit and they made me a fire jacket finally bro finally did it, man. Because we were going through that website. You need to update that website and just put only that jacket up there. Because the rest of the fucking carpets

you had on there were absolute dog shit. But what is the website again? R-A-S-T-A-H dot com. Rasta. Rasta official. Why are you doing that? He's wearing one of the carpets right now. Honestly? That's a butterfly. This is the first outfit that he's worn that I think is really

fucking horrible. So good. I was going to be like, are you really? Jesus. I mean, this is unbelievable. Fine China. You're dressed as a Greek trinket store. Oh my God, that's good.

I'm very proud of you. I'm so stoked for you. I know how hard you've been working on this thing. You're dressed as like a Greek trinket store. Oh my God, that's good. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm very proud of you. I'm so stoked for you. I know how hard you've been working on this thing. It's a lot of pressure to hold all that together and you fucking did it. Shout out to your boys and I'm stoked, man. Thank you, man. Thank you, man.

I appreciate it. Thank you guys again. Everybody came out and I really am so fucking proud of what- So what's the plan? Where do you want to release it? So we're going to- I wanted to just put everything I had into this thing, and I did.

I gave every ounce I have, and I feel like I made something really fucking great. I really do. After that, I'm not sure where we're going to go. We're going to talk to some people. Some networks are already kind of talking to us, so we're going to see what that looks like, what the YouTube route looks like. We're going to compare it, and then we'll figure that out. Right now, it's just take a week or two, kind of of decompress and then get in the edit and figure it out but like let me just ask you one question about your shirt yes when you put your shirts on do you put them

on feet first through the collar why is that i just i wore this when i like do you open the collar and stick your feet in and then bring the whole thing up to your shoulders is that why because something happens around here where i mean i can put my whole fist into your shirt going going without even really stretching the collar so i need you to explain because you have beautiful head your head in your whole life has never gained weight you could be 200 pounds and you have the same i got close beautiful really no oh. Beautiful fucking head. So I need to understand why the collar gets stretched. Can I tell you what I think it is? I have a weird thing of something sitting on my neck

and I always just adjust the collar. It's just like a weird fucking... You're not strong enough to stretch out the collar. Stop it. Listen, if Alex is virtual, if Alex said that he was... That was really good. I don't know. I did not laugh because it wasn't funny. I didn't laugh because I'm exhausted. That was great. Mud joke made no sense. That was great. We're going't not laugh because it wasn't funny. I didn't laugh because I'm exhausted. That was great.

Mud joke made no sense. That was great. We're going to get back to the mud. We're going to make the mud work. We're going to make it fucking work. But just please help me understand why the collar is like that. I think that's why it's like that. You're just pulling it nonstop.

I just fucking yank at it all the time. I just don't like. Just anxiety. Maybe. Maybe it's an anxious thing. Yeah, it might be. Okay. Because it's always been. I was even looking before one of the tapers.

Before you get dressed. Why is she still coming to a V? Before you get dressed one day. Yeah. I'm going to come to your house. Okay. With a fresh new shirt. Okay.

And I'm going to watch you get dressed. Okay. Because I need to get to the bottom of this. Okay. This to me is more confusing than the pyramids. I also. Like the pyramids, I understand you're putting blocks on top of blocks. I'm holding back,

like, just banging on his head. He looks like a bottle of Casse Azul. Oh, yeah. That's exactly what he looks like. He's back. He's back.

He's back. He's back. Alex is back. Even though he pronounced it wrong, he's back. He said Casse, not Casse, but it was so good. It was so good

that you do look like a bottle of Klaas Azul. Oh, my God. I also... Just in the middle. Dang it. This whole time. Okay, okay, okay.

Go on. I also wore this on the plane. I haven't changed since the plane. Oh, you wore this on the plane? Yeah, on the flight here. Okay, cool. It's probably more fucked up

because of that. But I thought about changing and I was like... oh. Definitely. No, that happens to me when I get on planes, sometimes I'll turn, you know, a, uh. Looks like you're wearing your dad's shirt. Yeah. My dad gets a hula skirt. You don't lay flat and then fuck up the shirt? Bro, you're doing something wrong. And we just need to acknowledge it.

It could be. We just need to acknowledge it as a group. You were hanging the shirt up while you were wearing it? Is there something wrong with me that when I sit down, my pants come up to my knees? Yeah. Do we know what it is? No, because look. You went back to the short joints? Look, have you ever seen pants this baggy on me before? No, because you had to pull it down. Have you ever seen pants? You had to pull it down.

When you stood up, though. And watch her sit. Magical. That's magic. You and I have a thing with clothing that cannot be explained your bottom is my top yes it is

so we're going to fucking figure this out have you ever put on a rash guard what does it look like a rash guard is like something you would boogie board with what about a wetsuit a turtleneck perhaps what happens with turtlenecks to you I don't

I need to know I've never worn a turtleneck to you? I don't. Like Sharon Stone? I need to know. I've never worn a turtleneck. I can't have anything on my neck. Oh, it is a thing. It's a weird thing I have. I have my whole life. I hate it. Sexual?

I fucking hate it. I don't know. Anything right here, I just fucking hate it. What did Miles do? Everybody's catching. What did Miles do? Miles, he's into choking or something? No, he can't wear turtlenecks.

They don't fit. Why? Miles, are you... He's into choking or something? No, he can't wear turtlenecks. They don't fit. Why? Yeah, why? Is it because... Is it because they'll come up to the bottom of your nose? Don't bail him out. He almost was stuck in his head. I was going to say that.

I was looking for the worst. What is it that they wear that's covering the whole face and all the rabbits. The mic just slowly approaching the room. It's like a fucking skeet. This one. What? That's Miles on a turtle.

Okay, so you felt great about the special. Yeah, man. Everything was awesome. I'm so fucking happy with it. Yeah, so happy with it. Okay, and then you see what happens. Look into some networks maybe. Look into self-release. There's plenty of different options. Yeah, we'll see is awesome. I'm so fucking happy with it. Yeah, so happy with it. Okay, and then you see what happens. Look into some networks maybe. Look into self-release.

There's plenty of different options. Yeah, we'll see what the options are, who's talking, what they're talking about, and then we'll take it from there. Okay. Is the shirt stretched in the special at all? Probably. I bet if you look at it. Why do you have to bring it back to his shirt? I'm curious.

I just need to see a picture. Can I see a picture of you? Give him a break. I don't know if I have one. You don't. Just tell him to give you a break, yo. I'm bullying this kid. I'm curious.

We're not being bullies. I just want to know if we can see his belly button during the special from where his collar is. We went through this one time. We filmed a Netflix thing. We filmed a Netflix thing with this guy, and we didn't realize until three weeks later that his entire bulge was in one of the cameras. You could see both of his testicles and the penis and a small vein on the side. Who didn't realize? You, my director.

I loved it, I loved it. What do you mean? It's like give me more of that. We were like, do we try it? We literally were like, do we blur it? No, you want to take it out with the color correction. We was trying to increase the women. Yo, and what color were the pants?

They were like, what, black? Navy? Black. Black is slimming. Okay, all right. And your boy was still bulging. That's all I'm trying to say. Okay, so Burning Man, we weren't there.

Shout out to everybody who went. And we're glad you got it. I'm happy to the one dude. Yeah, what happened? Somebody died. I feel like that's not that bad. Don't somebody die every time? Not really. It's really not a lot of deaths. Don't somebody die every time? Not really.

It's really not a lot of deaths. They have a good streak of not too many deaths. There was the one guy who ran into the fire. Crazy video. Yeah, that's crazy. When they burn either the man or the, what is it called, the temple. He just ran straight into it. Fucking nuts. But who died this year in the mud?

There was another Indian joke right there about a wife running into the fire when the husband dies. I was wondering if you would get to it. Fuck. No, that was like, that's intricate. That's nuanced. Yeah. That was really good. Damn it.

I missed that one. It's all good. You got it. You could have made that one. You got it. I'm too tired to make the connection. I was hoping you would get it. I couldn't put the words together. I just had the idea you would get it. Okay, you had a heavy weekend. I couldn't put the words together.

I just had the idea. You had a big weekend. You had a big weekend. For announcements, we have added shows or more seats in the following cities. Niagara Falls, Ontario, September 22nd. Windsor, Ontario, September 23rd. We added another show in Perth, Australia on November 13th. Melbourne we just added more seats for the John Kane Arena on November 16th.

And Sydney we added a second show November 17th at the Aware Super Theater. And Brisbane, we just added more seats to the Brisbane Entertainment Center. Guys, theandrewschultz.com for all those tickets. I can't wait to see you guys there. Peace. Also, guys, I do have to mention one date coming up September 15th and 16th. Stress Factory. Hurry up and buy tickets because they will sell out.

They are selling quickly. Also, I just want to say thank you, thank you, thank you to everybody who came to my tapings at White Oak Music Hall, which is an amazing venue, by the way. Thank you to y'all. But most importantly, thank you to the fans. This was a fucking dream come true. You guys flew in from everywhere. You showed so much support. I am so grateful to you guys. None of this is possible without you. And I just want to say thank you. And I know some people wanted to, somebody literally stole the stool, which is cool. But also some people were saying they wanted to buy the set pieces. We are trying to figure out a way to make that happen. And if

we figured it out, you can go pick up those set pieces at White Oak Music Hall, which, by the way, is an amazing venue. I'm going to tell every comedian I know if you want to do a show in Houston, they're the best, and the whole place is gorgeous. So the link's not here. Go to akashling.com, but it should be here by now. Thank you. Okay, so we did not go to your special taping.

Do you feel bad that we weren't there? No, no. If y'all were there, I would have been more nervous than I already was. You y'all. Okay, so we did not go to your special taping. Do you feel bad that we weren't there? No, no. If y'all were there, I would have been more nervous than I already was. You sure? Yeah. I was so nervous after the first taping. My right forearm was like, fuck it. I was like, why is it so sore? And I realized I was holding the mic like this for the full hour or whatever. And then after that

I was fine. I felt like we had enough. But that first taping I've never been more nervous in my life. I was so nervous. And were you thinking about every single joke i was just yeah what could go wrong what can't like you know everything has to line up and then yeah i was like if i hit my marks i'll be okay yeah and then i knew i flubbed some words but i was like with four tapings there's the statistical probability of me messing up these same words three times again it's just not gonna happen so i was relaxed after that you can can always go back in and record some stuff. What do you think was your best one?

So after that first taping, the second taping, I was weirdly calm. I said to Kev, I was like, I'm so calm. I'm so not nervous, I'm getting nervous. I was more nervous this past Saturday in Poughkeepsie than I am right now. And then I got off stage, and then Kev was like, that was the one. And then the cinematographer, Jordan Levy, he was a beast.

He came out and he hadn't really seen the set that, like he might have watched it once, but he gave me a huge hug and he was like, we're done. We got everything we need.

We have two more shows tomorrow. Now we're just having fun. We already have a top tier special. And then I was like, oh shit, okay. That was the one, I guess. So that was the taping that everybody,

I got off thinking it was good, but everybody's like, nah, that was the fucking one. That's got off thinking it was good but everybody's like not that was the fucking one that's just so we got some moments out of there that were great you hit everything it was unbelievable so like they were that's when i felt bad now that feeling was like euphoric everybody telling me i'm done i was like oh great we're good yeah yeah so that was cool yeah fucking it was a great greatest weekend of my life so and now for the hard work you know i know it's yeah That edit is a bitch.

I know. I know. Start organizing your time now. I know. Are you off the road? I'm taking six. I got a stress factory and I'm taking at least six weeks off

after the full golf comedy. And then just organize that fucking time and then get in there. Are you doing it with Kev? Yeah. Big Kev's obviously the greatest and he's like, this is the part I'm excited for.

And I was like, you're fucking crazy. Yeah. This is going to be brutal. This is the worst part. This is the brutal part. Yeah. Yeah And I was like, you're fucking crazy. Yeah, this is going to be brutal. This is the worst part. This is a brutal part. Yeah. Yeah, the fun is over.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's misery until you put it out. I know. And then when you're about to release it and you're at your lowest confidence because you've watched it so much and you're just like, wow, nothing is funny here in a whole hour. You have to watch it with some strangers. That was a good suggestion I think maybe you had where it was like, let's just get 10 people in here and just have them watch it and you'll hear them kind of

laugh at it and you'll see how people watch the special. So that we should do. Absolutely. You also need an editor you can abuse or mock or ridicule. Take out your frustration on the way that their skull is shaped. That's usually the way it works.

People like that. Yeah, Shifty really earned his stripes that way. You know, Shifty didn't sleep for about three months straight. I just want to point something out. And now he has an autoimmune disorder. This guy has fucking HIV, dude. Every time we go on a plane, no, this is for real, every time we go on a plane, he is unbelievably

sick within six hours of landing. Unbearably sick. I've seen him not sleep for months. He didn't sleep for months when we were doing this special. The guy can't even travel premium economy without immune system completely failing. What do you think this is? You're a killer. Yeah, you broke him. The guy doesn't even do anything. The guy stopped working. We did the special and he just fucking sits down. No, I'm trying to figure out.

I'm like, what is he doing? I got to make up things for him to do. He tries some different subtitles or something. Every week, I got to make up a new thing. This kid is falling apart

in front of us right now. Shifty, what do you think it is? See, he can't even speak. Beats me, dude. Can't even speak, dude. That's it. That's all I got. That's what you want me to say, huh?

Because he can't blame his employer for ruining his fucking life while he's in the room. His vlog is like, ah, and that's all you got right now. Yeah, we need vlog energy, bro. Yeah, we need Shifty you got right now? Yeah, we need vlog energy, bro. We need shifty vlog energy right now. Son, that's just him when you're not around. Look how happy he is. Brother, I don't need him to be happy. I need him to be healthy.

I'm not paying you to be happy. I'm paying you to not fucking sneeze and cough all over the van. Oh, my God. But he only cares about him not fucking sneeze and cough all over the van. Oh, my God. But he only cares about him not getting sick and you being productive. Yeah. His actual care about your health non-existent. I've never seen someone get sick. That's not true.

I ask you every single day if you're good enough to travel next week. I've never seen someone get so angry when he found out that he was sick. It's so funny. We're in the car and then Shifty hasn't talked or sneezed or coughed for like three weeks or three days. We're fucking in some city. Which is a fucking world record. And we're in the car,

and Shifty's leaning up against the window, and then the car gets quiet, and it's just us humming along, and you just hear... And like this. Bro, I look like Joe Budden finding out that girl was a tranny. You know how it's like? Bro, it was like Joe Budden finding out that girl was a tranny. You know how it is.

Bro, it was like the quiet place, dude. It was the fucking quiet place. And Jules turns around like, what the fuck was that? And literally just goes, are you sick? And Shifty goes, no. And he says it one more time. He goes, are you fucking sick? Shifty just goes.

You know, it's progress. That's the first time he's believed anybody's sick. Yeah. Because if you ever miss work, I remember one time Al had like the fucking flu. I was never sick, though. Some motherfucker's in L.A. or something, lazy, learning tennis. I said I'd die, but I wasn't sick, though. Nah, he not sick, bro.

This guy not sick. This guy who put fucking hand sanitizer in his nostrils he faking it he faking it he faking it i worked so hard to get autism he got work-induced autism that almost never happened i don't believe that's i remember that i was like uh what's wrong with that? And Andrew was like, the flu? I go, really? He goes, that's what he says.

What the fuck is that? What time of year was it? Winter, yo. All right. All right, there's a chance. There's a chance. What do we have to do?

What were we doing? What were we doing? That's the right shit. Who knows, dude. You can't just sit there and tuh-huh. You know what I mean? The flu is going to stop you from sitting there and and, uh-huh. You know what I mean? The flu is going to stop you from sitting there and talking.

You know what I mean? I'm Miles Remenat. Bring it, Miles. I'm Miles Remenat. I'm never sick. Miles is not sick. Miles got the best immune system. Miles never been sick once.

Hangs out with West Village Gays all day. West Village Gays all day, sucking and fucking in Fire Island all summer. Never caught the flu not one time. That's what I'm saying. He's around it. He's got immersion therapy. Bro, I'm just saying, Shifty's sick nonstop. I'll be honest.

I can't say what I want to say. Because it could have come across as disrespectful, not funny. But it wasn't meant in any disrespect. What I'm trying to say is, Shifty has a new lovely girlfriend that I think is running him ragged. Oh, she's sucking him dry? I didn't mean in any disrespect. What I'm trying to say is Shifty has a new lovely girlfriend that I think is running him ragged. Oh, she's sucking him dry.

I didn't mean to say that. Is that what you're trying to say? That's crazy, Mark. You can't speak about that. You're saying that's what happened. You can't speak. I was going to say they're fucking doing awesome adventures. I was thinking they were doing awesome adventures.

I don't know. They're going to play ping pong. They're going to play arcade games. Cave diving? They're definitely doing a lot of I don't know. They're going to play ping pong. They're going to play arcade games. Cave diving? They're definitely doing a lot of spelunking. If you ask me,

I'm just saying, she might be stopping him from getting sleep. Whoa. Yeah. His immune system is currently on

his floor and sheets. Shifty, is this true? Is there any truth to this? Pod's already ruined one relationship. Just one? No, no.

One of his. Oh, one of his. Oh, okay. You need to marry this girl, just so Shelton lightens up. Son, that's a good-ass point. Yo, get married. Yeah, lock it down.

Get married. Lock it down, bro. Yo, make it real. Make it real.. Get married. Lock it down, bro. Make it real. Make it real. Make it real. Lock it down. I'm sick and tired.

I'm sick and tired. Now you're sick. Now he's sick. I'm getting sick. And he's tired. Motherfuck. Come on. For real, Shifty, this is an issue.

Lock it down, Shifty. And now you're blaming it on Calgary. Do you know when you're frolicking around Bushwick all the goddamn time? Shifty? Anyway. Oh, fuck. We're going to have to talk about it. So the Hamptons.

Let me tell you something, Alex. That video. He ready to move. He ready to summer. Let me tell you something. That wasn't the one. Never ever again question rich people about anything. About like leisure things. No, no, no. They figured everything.

Leisure is just one of the things. Very rarely has there been a thing that rich people do that the non-rich, yes, we have a couple bucks now, but not that rich. Shut up. When I say rich, when I say rich, you know what the fuck I'm talking about. Wealthy. I'm talking about old money. So you say that. Yeah, old money.

Never question old money, especially when it comes to leisure activities, but also vacationing. There's no place they haven't discovered. Is that not a leisure activity? I don't know. No, especially when it comes to leisure activities and vacation. Okay. They have been everywhere. There's not a place on the planet that they haven't been.

And the places that they enjoy the most, they curate life over there, and it's fucking unbelievable. You're not going to find a new one. We went to Turkey. We were like, yo, we're going to, oh, Belgium, we're going to put this shit on the map. The fucking mall floor was limestone. The whole thing

is built out. It's done. Beautiful, but done. The Hamptons was incredible. I hated on the Hamptons my whole life. Never went once. I said, it's a bunch of stuck-up, snobby assholes. It was. Still worth it. Still worth it. Still worth it.

Because you are a victim. You take tennis. Oh, come play tennis with me. You want to be that shit so bad, just admit it, bro. Just admit it. You want to be bougie. You want to be old money. You want to be old money.

You don't play tennis anymore. You play paddle. Oh, yeah. Tennis is done. I'm telling you. Paddle is the cottage. No, bro. Have you played? Have you played? It's the play tennis anymore. You play paddle. Oh, yeah. Tennis is done. I'm telling you. Paddle is the carnage. No, bro. Have you played? It's the Hampton people playing paddle.

Have you played? They can't keep up. Hampton people can't play tennis. They can't. Hampton people can't play tennis. The old money motherfuckers are playing paddle so you don't have to move them. They play pickle because of that. You would say that. The old people. Listen, Al is five years behind. I was you. I've said everything you've said. You would say that. The old people. Have you played? Listen, Al is five years behind.

I was you. I've said everything you've said. You're just five years behind. In five years, you're going to be in the Hamptons playing paddle like these motherfuckers. When I'm old and I can't move. Yes, I will be saying that. Sean, it's the only young people are playing paddle. I haven't seen one person that was old playing paddle.

It's young people playing paddle. Here's the thing. Paddle, basically, for everybody who's watching, look at some YouTube videos. It's ping pong, right? No, that's pickleball. Here's the thing. Paddle, basically, for everybody who's watching, go look at some YouTube videos. It's ping pong, right? No, that's pickleball. Let me explain it. Pickleball is a game, okay?

Tennis is a sport. Paddle is in between the two. It's a lifestyle. It's a lifestyle. Pickle. Here, you explain the shit you never did. Go. Look, I'm on board with you.

See? Now you're coming. It was created by a never did. No. I'm on. Look, I'm on board with you. See? Now you're coming. Now you're coming. It was created by a Spanish man. Exactly. Because he was too lazy to get the tennis ball when it got past him. So he's like, yo, let's just put up some walls so the shit never gets past me and we don't have to go run and get the ball. This shit's just always in play.

That's why they created that game. It's a genius game. It's genius. I mean. What's wrong with that? It's a game created for a lazy motherfucker who didn't want to walk and get a ball. It's still a great game, but it's... It sounds like he's not lazy. It sounds like he wants

to keep playing non-stop. It sounds like he actually wants to volley. He actually wants to get some exercise. He actually wants to have fun. He wants to play non-stop. Or not. You like to play real sports. Alex likes the break, I think, of the ball going out and going walking, going to get it. No, I like playing real sports.

I like playing real sports. Real sports like what? Like you guys are playing the softball of tennis. I'm not knocking tennis. Tennis is a more sophisticated sport. It's harder to play. Real sport, yeah. Real?

Real. If you're stuffing balls in your underwear, is it real? First of all, it's in your skirt. Correct. You're right. So, my point is this. Wait, didn't Dove beat you? Nah. Of course he beat him. I did. 6-1, 6-1. So, he's afraid to come back. Can I ask you a question? How did he get

that game? And I don't mean that as an insult to you, but I don't. I'm shocked he got a game. How'd he win a game twice? And I just started playing. Just started. Just picked up the racket. He's been taking lessons. I played him four years. I beat him 6-1, 6-1. Just picked up a racket.

You have another man teaching you how to be gay? That's unbelievable. You're paying a guy $200 to be gay? I'm paying a woman to teach me. Oh, is a woman teaching you? That's even worse. A woman is teaching you a sport? She is, bro. In what world do we exist?

That's another thing about pedaling. I'm not doing well because I don't wear the skirt and I don't go, she was like, yo, go, and I'm not going when I hit it. She's telling you to do that? She's telling me to go, okay. That's the thing. Dub was all day. Anyway, he got that. I did it when you paid me the $200 for losing. I'm not gonna lie.

While we were in the Hamptons, I used an incredible invention. One of the greatest things about this country is that we will find a way to turn anything into a gun. We have a glue gun. We have a staple gun. Everything gets turned into a gun. If it is something we value, we turn turned into a gun. If it is something we value, we turn it into a gun and we finally did it with barbecuing. Is there anything more American than barbecuing? No, there's not. Okay, the only problem with barbecuing is that there's no gun element

until now. Shout out to the people at Grillblazer man, grillblazer.com, they have turned grilling into guns. Amazing. Absolutely fantastic. I love it. I'm out there in the Hamptons. We're getting the grill on. If I'm being honest, I didn't grill for not one second. Mark was doing all the grilling.

But I came in when you needed the heavy artillery. When you need that sous vide gun to sear them steaks, I was there. Chick chick, boom, blasted them. It was amazing. The steaks were immaculate. Did Mark do a good job cooking them? Yes, obviously. But what was everybody commenting on?

One, my piece, that gat, the strap, the blicky that I pulled out, sous vide it nonstop. Grillblazers, unbelievable. And you know what? You're gonna get 15% off. And it's not just the sous vide gun, they got other joints as well. So if you wanna be strapped up for the end of this barbecue season, and if you're living in the warm weather where it's barbecue season all year round, if you wanna be strapped up, you go to grillblazer.com, use that promo code FLIGR, and you get 15% off. Go do it. Go do it. Simple as that.

You're welcome. God bless America. The problem is Alex can't play because I think if you play one time, you're never playing tennis again. Addicted. I don't think you're ever going to play tennis again. Obsessed. I like playing real sports. You have played.

Say whatever you'd like. Not the paddle. We're going to play one time. I don't think you're ever going to play tennis again. I'm just saying. And because I'm saying this, I think... I play real sports. Because I'm saying this, we're going to play one time,

and then you're going to sneak out and go play. He's going to be a Baptist at the liquor store. I got you. All right. I just remember you guys roasting me for doing this two years ago in Miami. But welcome. No, them. That sucked back then.

It sucked back then. Yeah. It was still not a sport back then. 100%. So now they're on board with not playing a sport. You know what? As long as I get you guys out there. I think it will be kind of a bro sport, though.

I think it will be kind of secluded to like... So right now it's like... Rich bros? Yeah. Yeah. It'll be like... Golf. Finance guys and shit.

It's golf. Golf-ish. Yeah, it's kind of... Right now it's more foreign. That's what it feels like. Like a lot of Spanish speakers, a lot of people from Argentina. So it's just kind of coming along.

Who is going to appropriate it over here? Yeah, it could be finance bros. Anyone that was playing tennis years ago, even if they were doing it just recreationally, are stepping into it, and then they're addicted quick. So you're seeing that. And they actually at least now are like, oh, wow, new sport right away. I'm in. Yeah.

We got to go play. We got to have a nice little tournament. We got to have a flagrant tournament. Yeah. Can we try tennis first and then try that? No, I should just watch. Try a real sport and then want to play that little silly, pity hat shit. It's a fun game.

Why can't games be fun, Alex? As a game, can we play a sport and then play a game? Why can't we play a game? We can play a game, but let's play a sport, then play a game. Okay, we can do all that. Another thing that I want to say, an observation from this week when we were away.

I think I understand what Airbnb's like purpose in the ecosystem is. And this is gonna seem redundant because it's quite obvious, but like I always looked at Airbnb as this like replacement for a hotel. I would just be like, oh, can I get a nicer house than I can hotel for the same price, right?

And going out to the Hamptons and we had, you know, it was a nice group of us. There was like seven of us. Right. And I realized the Airbnb experience for me is replicating traveling with family or friends. Right. It's just like, what is it like if you have a home in this place and you get to have all those intimate moments? The great thing about going away with your partner and staying in a hotel, it's fucking awesome. You have all these amenities and everybody's serving you, et cetera. But when you go away with eight fucking people

and you're all in your each little room, and the only time you're really hanging out is maybe you agree to go to the pool or maybe you agree to go do an activity and then you maybe see each other at dinner. But having this kind of communal living where you're all kind of busting balls, joking, telling stories and just connecting the whole time. Man, it was fucking awesome. It was really it was really fucking awesome. And I never looked at Airbnb in that way because I always was looking for the value play. I was like, oh, can I get the nicer home than I can the hotel? was looking for the value play. I was like, oh, can I get the nicer home than I can the hotel?

But now I'm looking at it in terms of like, if I'm going away with a group of people, even when we're on the road, like if it's a group of us and we're staying in a city for X amount of shows or whatever, I'm like, I want to just get a house. I just want to get a house and have everybody there, everybody bussing about, everybody cooking together, everybody drinking together, everybody barbecuing together. And you really kind of see the group congeal and come together in this beautiful way. And yeah, it was just, it was really cool. So shout them out. I wanted to shout them out. If you're on the other side, if you're trying to Airbnb your place, definitely, and I'm speaking from experience, make sure they book through Airbnb because, so I do property management a little bit and there was a place that I had that I was renting out and the guy was like,

let's go off of Airbnb. Airbnb won't take the cut. You'll make a little bit more money. That person rented out that place, stayed there for three months and I couldn't get them out. No way. There's nothing I could fucking do to get them out.

There's things you could have done. No, I tried. No, I can't. Yeah. Came. No, I tried. This guy is bold. Yeah.

Jewish dude, too. Whoa. Wait, why is that? That makes a difference. Wait, what is that? I was surprised. I was surprised because usually Jewish people are such nice people, and this guy really took advantage of me.

Where was the place? In Rockaway. He just knew that New York is so tenant friendly. You could be a squatter and it's crazy the rights that they give you. They know that the landlords won't sue and pursue it.

That's crazy. I used to, when I didn't have money, I'd Airbnb my room when I lived with Case. We would Airbnb the living room. Sorry. money i'd airbnb my room when i live with case i just air we or we would airbnb the living room sorry and sometimes i'd do my room but then one day i walk into my room and we just had our door unlocked like yo friends can come over we airbnb and sometimes whatever one time i walk in i see two hasidic jewish dudes one walks out of our shower butt ass naked and i'm just like okay I guess Case Airbnb, this place didn't fucking warn me. I just kind of start laughing, go to my room real quick, grab something, leave.

And after I get out of the apartment, I text Case like, hey, man, I'm headed to an audition or whatever the fuck. But can you at least let me know next time you Airbnb it? And then Case goes, I didn't Airbnb our apartment. And then turns out these two of the city Jewish dudes, I just found out they, from somebody else who Airbnb'd, we leave our door unlocked,

came in, took a shower, I came back, like 30 minutes later, they were just gone. Fucking ghosts in the night. Wow. Unbelievable.

You think it's the same guy that rented the room? It might have been, dude. It probably was the same guy. Did he leave a bunch of fucking cigarette butts everywhere? No,

they were in and out too quick, dude. They took one shower. You would think Jews would be a little bit more nervous about what shower they get into. You saw the shmeckle. You know what I mean? You saw the shmeckle? Yeah.

Yeah. Not big. Got to be honest. So what happened with yours, Al? He left eventually. On his own accord. But he moved into your place. It took three months.

Did you show up to the place? I showed up to the place. And? I showed up in a way that, like, I would have thought he left after that. God. No, but he's used to that. Stood tall, and he was, like, out here. He's been occupying places.

This is his hustle. Yeah. This is his hustle. Yeah, he's definitely had that. This is what they did in Palestine, actually. Think about it. This is in his blood. Yo, but it was crazy, and I had to just eat that. You're lucky that's still your house, bro, actually. Think about it. This is in his blood. Yo, but it was crazy.

And I had to just eat that. You're lucky that's still your house, bro. Yeah. So in New York, they have these like really intense tenant right situations. So if you rent a place and then stop paying rent, I think you have six months to stay there before you get kicked out. I believe it's six months. You could just say, I can't afford it, and then you stay there for six months. So I think

oftentimes there are people that find ways to get these leases signed, stay for six months, they get kicked out, get another one, get another one, get another one. It could be a bougie-ass place. Usually they're doing credit checks, but if you can get around the system, they'll pay you all cash. They'll give you that first month, but they're really giving you six months.

Fuck! I tried to get a little extra money, and I fucking paid They'll give you that first month, but they're really giving you six months. I know. And I was like, fuck. I tried to get a little extra money, and I fucking paid for that. Isn't that the lesson, though? You never found a guy, though? You never wanted to get it back in blood? Nah, I would have been in jail if I found him. I was really that upset. Fuck, so you were covering the bills that whole time? Yeah, I had to pay for it.

Did he fuck up the place, too? Bro, it's like cigarette butts everywhere. All the dishes, the dishes were fucking piled high. It's like he just didn't wash a dish. He just used every single fucking dish in the entire place. Like it was a big stop. You couldn't turn off the electricity or like turn off the gas? You can't legally.

Yeah. What about wait for him to leave and then go in and then change the locks? I lived far and this was the time we were working, so it's like I'm gone all the time. And you own the place? What? Yeah. Okay. It was tough.

Holy shit. It was a learning curve. Never made that mistake again. I mean, yeah, there's got to be something you can do, though. If someone moves in your place and they don't leave. You know, I was just in this situation right now. Charlie Leduff? With my old apartment, with the sublet.

She stopped paying in the last like month and a half and because she was my but i was not a fat norwegian fucking cow i will destroy her she stopped paying and i'm considered the over tenant she's a subtenant but i'm still paying rent to the building and And I call the building. I tell them my problem. They're like, so here's the problem with New York City. She's got all the rights. Even though she's my subtenant, she's like, in order to get her out, we have to sue you, Dove, and evict

you. And then the eviction will happen. So when I spoke to a lawyer, I said they were like, all you need to care about, fuck your rent. Make sure she leaves. So I got her out. Yeah, when was this period that you were living with a fat cow that we didn't know about? No, it was from my old apartment.

You said New York. But my five, I got a new apartment. He was living with a fat cow. I got a new apartment and sublet the place to the fat cow for a short-term rent. Can you tell me how you got her out? I sent the most desperate email that you could possibly ever read. Can we read it? No.

And a lawyer was like, wait, you're sending that? I was like, this is what I'm going to do. And it worked. And she scheduled her going, you know, getting out. And she got out. And now I've sent the attorney letter. and she scheduled her going, you know, getting out. And she got out and she's, and now I've sent the attorney letter. So I didn't send the attorney letter until she got out.

Because I was just like, I don't think at this point, like this girl's fucking brave, nothing to lose, Norwegian citizen, like had a big startup and it probably just fucking failed. And so she's trying to do that. So I'll get the money. She's on LinkedInin she's she cares she has a youtube video about like women empowerment and being a boss boss lady i was like i will show up at your next fucking conference and get on stage and destroy nick when he heard this story no i haven't said this to her yet send show us

whatever the email did got her out i told the story of nick and he was with the date and and she was like oh my god this is so bad and nick goes and he read it completely he's like now it's just a game now this is a fucking manhunt were there elements in the email that were related to like your family oh just desperation of like i can't afford this i'm a good guy i'm oh you went the other way i'm a why are you doing this you play pity i can't afford this. I'm a good guy. Oh, you went the other way. Why are you doing this to me? You play pity. I can't sleep.

I'll play whatever character you need to be. I can be tough guy or I can look like a pathetic loser and not care at all. Give us that email right now. I need to see that. Oh, for the show, for the fucking listeners, for the viewers, please. I don't want this story out. And you can't be a tough guy. Why did you start talking to a mic about it oh we're still recording so i'll tell you a story in miami um when there were people fighting and i was in a car with me my shorty and dove

oh what's the story remember this so it was one of your friends he was throwing a party or whatever the case is we were leaving the, and there were people fighting outside of the place. I had mentioned to you. I was like, oh, the quick way to end it, you just be like, yeah, the police are coming or whatever. He's dumb. Rolls down the window and goes, police, police. You trying to be the police? Oh, my God. Me and my shorty started

Did they stop fighting though No they kept on It was the most Bro He was like police Police The fact that my shorty Died laughing at him was hilarious.

What were you thinking in that moment, though? I wanted to stop a fight. I thought I was effective at it. Did I say it in Spanish? I feel like you didn't explain it properly. I feel like the directions were wrong. All right, guys, we're going to take a break real quick because I'm going to tell you something that kind of annoys me.

The only advantage of having low testosterone and no muscle mass or the ability to burn fat like I've had my entire life is that I keep a full head of hair. And you high testosterone fucks would go bald by the time you were 33. And that was the only silver lining to the dark cloud that is my genetic code. Unfortunately, these fucking idiots at Keeps are ruining the only advantage I had in my entire life. You high-T fucks that are going bald can get on Keeps the second you start noticing

your hair growing, and it will stop the hair loss. These sons of bitches! Anyway, if you want to get Keeps, it's very easy. You get quality, expert care without visiting a doctor's office or pharmacy. Of course they're going to make it easy. Why would they make my life any happier?

It's easy to subscribe. You get free refill reminders. You never run low on products. It's incredibly cheap. The plans are affordable. Half the cost of pharmacies? This is bullshit, keeps. Also remember, prevention is key, you fucking stupid varsity athletes and treatment can take

four to six months to see results so act fast and if you're ready to take action probably going to take you a while because you're too fucking dumb you meathead but you should go to keeps.com slash flagrant i spelled it for you because you're too busy in the gym getting 18 inch biceps to learn how to spell that's not even true it's just me being angry and jealous and insecure, really, at the end of the day. So, Keith, thank you for highlighting my insecurity and making issues worse for me. Thank God I'm married. Anyway, if you're noticing your hair thinning, go to keeps.com slash flagrant to get your first month free. Again, that is keeps.com slash flagrant. Now, let's get back to the show.

Sadly. All right, what else we got, yo? Deion Sanders won his first game at Colorado. Can you explain why this is a big deal? Okay, let's talk a little sports real quick. Deion, first, you know, greatest cornerback of all time. Every cornerback you watch now is basically just trying to beat Deion. Maybe greatest athlete of all time, maybe, just in terms of athleticism. But then he starts coaching at Jackson State and HBCU.

And it works. He's fucking good. Jackson State is good. What is an HBCU? Historically black college university. You're right. I should have explained that. So these HBCUs where you would think they would always be athletically gifted because so many Division I, college football players are black.

They just don't seem to want to go there because they don't have the recruiting power of these Alabamas and these UTs and whatever. And by recruiting power, it's not just a financial situation. It's also TV time, right? Like when you go to Alabama, you go to Auburn, you go to what are some other Texas? Georgia. Georgia. You're going to get on TV. More coaches are going to see you.

And you're going to be competing against other elite athletes. And that's really how a lot of NFL coaches. Iron sharpens iron. NFL is watching. What is the division? You know more about football. Yes, the SEC. They run a pro-style offense a lot of times.

Is it the SEC? It's just where they always seem to win the national championship, so now all the good players are like, I want to play in the SEC for the powerhouse teams. Their games are always in prime time. LSU and Alabama is a massive rivalry that everybody watches. Georgia and Alabama. Alabama-Auburn.

Alabama-Auburn, huge. Yeah, so the SEC gets everybody. So the HBCUs are not getting the same level of talent. But Deion made waves at the HBCU, but eventually he always said, I'm going to leave when an opportunity presents itself that's worth it. And he went to Colorado University, I guess, or University of Colorado, which has never been a powerhouse program. He got like a $27 million contract. And I think the university said, I saw a post about this.

I think the university said, we don't have the money to pay him, but we will. Yeah. And he agrees to go. And I think that the boosters or the donors of the school raised $28 million almost immediately. And they sold out every single game that they had. So now they have more than enough money to pay. And I am very much a casual college football fan. I will keep up kind of casually throughout the year from SportsCenter or whatever,

and then interest builds. I was immediately interested in Deion going to Colorado because he talks a big talk, and he's a confident, arrogant guy. Always has been, but backs it up. But like little things, like at a post-game presser, people kept saying,

Deion, Deion, Deion. Hey, Deion, what are you going to do? And he would say, call me Coach Prime or Coach Sanders. Don't call me Deion. You don't do that to Nick Saban. You don't call Nick Saban Nick.

And even I was like, buddy, we know you as Deion. It's not that big a deal. But he talks that shit and then he goes to this program and the first day he gets there, Even I was like, buddy, we know you as Deion. It's not that big a deal. Yeah. But he talks that shit. And then he goes to this program. And the first day he gets there, they film him speaking to the team that's currently there. And they go, a lot of y'all might as well just transfer.

Whatever the fuck you knew football to be is over. The way you used to do things is over. Everything is changing. I'm going to make my son the quarterback, Shadur Sanders. He's nice. He's got to earn it. But he's coming in to be quarterback and he brings in like 75 of the team brand new well new transfers highest transfer rate holy shit i don't even know that's exact 75 but it's a massive number of transfers plus his new recruits i assume so people are kind of

like what's gonna happen i thought he would do. Wasn't there a guy that played on both sides of the ball? Yes, Travis Hunter. Yeah. So his first game, his son is playing quarterback. He's got this guy playing both sides of the ball. And this, like, Colorado, he's never coached at this level. He's talking shit. Everybody kind of is divided.

A lot of people want him to fail, think he's going to fail. A lot of people think he's going to do great just because he's dion and we're fans yeah and then they play tcu who was last year's second ranked team in the country they lost in the national championship they beat tcu in overtime i think it was not overtime but it's like 45 42 or something close game but this program that has never really been that good beats the team that made it to the national championship last year. Wow. Not a historical powerhouse, but you should. They were fucking number two in the country last year.

Beats them. His son throws for 500 yards. Whoa. Plays out of his mind. Dime passes everywhere. This kid, Travis Hunter, plays pretty much, he plays like both sides of the ball. Almost every snap. Plays out of his mind.

100 yards and an interception. What position does he play? Wide receiver cornerback, I believe. Yeah, wide receiver cornerback. Holy shit. 100 yards in the Pac-12 last year. 1-11 last year. And then they went from the Pac-12, which is a dying division, to the Big 12, which isn't like the SEC, but it's a better division.

They moved divisions, beat the team that won that conference last year. Sorry, not division, conference. Team that won that conference last year. And then Deion goes in the postgame, and and he says this is the clip that I saw going around he said a lot of times when people see a black man talking like I talk walking like I walk talking to athletes that are 75 percent black they get a little threatened but we here and this is what we're doing and we're gonna make noise and we're not going nowhere talking to athletes that are 75% black.

Yeah, like not each black person is 75% black, but the team is 75% black people, black kids. Is that rare in sports? So that's what a lot of people were saying. That's not rare in sports. But what he's saying is rare is a black coach talking that shit and then backing it up. We know Nick Saban is a great coach. We know whoever the historic people, Bo Schembechler, whatever the fuck,

I'm not kidding, Jim Harbaugh, all these names that we know of, like, hey, these are great coaches, and we kind of see them as somewhat stodgy white guys or just older white men, and that's what we've seen, and that's not bad. I have no problem with that.

But what Dion is saying is, I think some people out there might be threatened by the fact that here's a an arrogant black dude talking to black people as a coach and winning and kind of disrupting things. And I somebody tweeted the exact same thing you tweeted. No disrespect to the guy that tweeted. He said the same thing. Hey, buddy, I think most college athletes are black. And then I just tweeted back to him like, yeah, I'm trying to be mean, but I was like, hey, buddy, I think he just means like he's talking about him as a coach that was saturday i just casually sent a text didn't make a smart ass comment my mentions have been on fire for two

days with just a bunch of triggered white people being like oh just because he's black you can say this blah blah blah black people arguing with him this has become a really divisive thing deon coaching has become this flashpoint. What is the division? I don't understand. Because he, I do think there is something to what he's saying, where it's like, people don't like this black dude as a coach in a position of authority, talking that shit and then kind of disrupting the way we have, things have been for a long time. Oh, a coach should be humble. A coach should be humble.

A coach should be, hey, let's not talk too much. Let's not boast too much. Let's not demand respect of ourselves and say things like, you need to call me coach and walk out of postgame

press conferences. And then he's just like, I'm going to be me all the time. Or they're doing the whole, like, you're disrespecting the game thing. They don't say that necessarily. It's not,

and I think a lot of the sports casters talking about it. Have you been doing that? I'm trying, bro. a lot of the sportscasters talking about it, but you've been doing that? I'm trying, bro. A lot of the sportscasters were just like, hey, man, I don't think you can make this jump. It's a big jump. That's it. But then a lot of the fans, I do think, are bothered by some of this shit. Or at least just maybe there's bots in my tweets, but I mean, it's been obnoxious.

I wish I never sent this tweet just trying to clarify for somebody a simple point. You know what I mean? Like, it's become a massive flashpoint. But also you have to watch. If you're watching college football, you have to watch Colorado. Yeah, most fun thing in college this year is going to be if Deion can do it. How far he goes. I mean, it's unbelievable.

I don't think he can win at all just because he started with a program that had nothing. But then not only what does he do this year, what does he continue to do? You know what it kind of reminds me of? We are old enough to vaguely remember the Fab Five. This feels like the Fab Five for football. It's just this new, exciting kind of thing that's more black than what we're used to. Fab Five was Michigan's college basketball program that had Chris Webber, Jalen Rose. Jawan Howard.

Jawan Howard. Somebody from Plano. I forget his name. Jimmy King or something like that. And then one more. And they were all freshmen. Yeah. And they made it to the final four.

I think the final four. Or the Elite Eight. I think the final four. Jimmy King. Or maybe the Elite Eight. Austin Ray Jackson. And then the next year, the finals, I think, or the final four. And then Chris Webber had that historic timeout where he calls timeout where they were out of timeouts.

And it's technically a free throw, so they end up losing. And they end up losing the game. But they would wear like, I mean, this is how posh college sports were at the time. They wore black socks. Yeah. Yeah. And the country was up in arms. In black shoes.

Like, what the hell is going on over here black socks these guys are so short to their knees short to their knees what's going on but they were just these young kids that were just absolutely just crushing it there's a cool 30 for 30 i think it's a 30 for 30 on it and uh obviously jaylen rose and chris webb are so fucking unbelievably talented juwan howard very talented like imagine the three of them who went on to have incredible basketball careers on the pro level. Imagine all three of them being on the same team in college. So, naturally, they're going to go crush. And they were just playing the game with a lot of, like, chutzpah.

Yeah. And, okay, so that's what's happening right now. And I feel like Deion is coaching with a lot of chutzpah to say. But he must be a great motivator. I mean, it was awesome watching him talk to the kids when he was over at Jackson State. Yeah, I didn't get to see this. I want to hear. Oh, you got to see this.

Colorado pregame. Bro, he brought Brittany Renner in there. Oh, I saw that. That was fire. He's like, yo, you need to talk to girls like this because they're going to be the ones to get you. Yeah. Like, she'll tell you what's going on. She'll tell you the girls that are out there and how they're going to treat you, how they're going to

take advantage of you. She's just a fascinating individual. She should go around speaking at colleges like the thought version of catch me if you can. You know what I mean? He warns them of what the Forges are doing. She don't want to ask me, this is how we're going to try to get you. Just be ready.

Become an informant. That's crazy. Yeah, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's crazy. Yeah, dude. Yeah, so Coach Prime, let's see. God, people get so upset about this stuff, huh? Yeah. So what he's saying is that there's a lot of people out there that just don't want to see a black man winning in this way.

They want to see, they're okay with a black man winning if they're doing it in like more of a traditional sense. For the Pittsburghsburgh steelers head coach he's like uh super outspoken brash guy he just kind of coaches and wins and the team is always relevant no matter what yeah we love it yeah but he's saying that you don't people are a little threatened seeing me not ever code switch continue to be coach coach prime like i'm doing this 1000 my way and i don't even know if it's as much racial as it is. We are kind of used to what we're used to. And then anytime somebody fucks with that, we're like, I don't like this. And to be fair to Mike Tomlin, I don't see him code switching. No, he brought the whole team.

Black Air Force One. Yeah. But I hear what you're saying. He's just a quieter guy. I think that's his nature. Thank you for clarifying. He's more like, what's his face from the Patriots? Belichick. Belichick. Thank you for clarifying. He's more like, what's his face from the Patriots? Belichick.

Belichick. Thank you for clarifying. I didn't mean it like that. I know you weren't trying to say it. But okay, interesting, interesting, interesting. But this is just the fucking internet upset at the culture war and using him as a lightning rod for whatever's going on. It is funny to watch people who are really mad at cancel culture still get just as triggered as the cancel culture people. You're the same guys.

You're the same human being. Did you go back and forth with anyone? I didn't. I thought about tweeting to one guy who was like, how did this happen? And being like, buddy, I have no fucking clue what just went on. But I was like, even that's not worth it because that's going to get 20 responses. You just let it breathe for a few days and then it goes away eventually. I need more context in terms of what he said because I don't think saying 75% black team is that triggering. Just once you add race to anything.

To any situation. It's such an easy button for people to get to. And a lot of people will do this. If a white guy said this, it would be blah, blah, blah. It's like, I don't even know. Akash, next week, it's Nebraska, Colorado. Who do you have? I got Colorado. Nebraska hasn't been good

since I was 18. That's a long time ago. My wife was a nine. Stop reminding the people, Akash. I didn't know her at the time, bro. I didn't speak to her until she was 22. That's weird, bro.

Fresh Prince was on last time in Nebraska. It was good. Your favorite show. was 22. That's weird, bro. Yeah, Fresh Prince was on last time in Nebraska. It was good. Your favorite show. Thank you. Thank you. That's a great save. Okay, what else we got? Oh, yo, NFL's starting this week.

Yo, you know what? Last year when we did this in England, I said I think the Chiefs are going to win the Super Bowl at the beginning of the year. That's what you called it. And I switched over to the Eagles out of fear. But there was a point in the beginning where you called it. Yeah.

And what do you think in this year? You know who I think? I'm positive I'm jinxing them right now, but I think the Cowboys have a real fucking shot. The Cowboys have a real fucking shot. And why do you think that? This is just the best offseason they've had in terms of, like, making smart trades. They picked up some veteran players. You know, every team has holes.

It's impossible with a salary cap, a hard salary cap in a sport to not have holes and 52 roster spots. But they like filled some of these holes with really like pretty good players. And they didn't pay much in terms of draft capital. And the Eagles are the best team on paper. I just think last year they had such great injury luck. Like Philadelphia Eagles were so healthy all last year. In my brain, that has to run out. And you have to have to this year i just can't imagine it's going to be the same way on paper they're the best what about the quarterback situation for the cowboys the

cowboys have dac who i think is good not he might he's not top five in the league i don't think didn't they trade for trey lance and they traded for trey lance who i think is a developmental piece in a year or two i think he could be really good or really good enough to get a draft pick back for you if Dak is still released. But is that a sign that the organization doesn't believe in Dak long term? I think it was just a fire sale. Somebody said it well. They said, do you ever just go to Costco and there's something that's 90% off and you don't need it? It was an unbelievable deal they got for him, right?

Yeah, he was the San Francisco 49ers third pick in the entire draft. They traded three first round picks to get him and then the Cowboys got him for one fourth round pick. Yeah, two full years later for one fourth round pick. Let's just take a flyer and see what happens. And that's what I think smart teams do.

That's what the Eagles would normally do. So seeing the Cowboys do it I was hopeful about them. So I think they might actually win it in the nfc afc i don't know if the chiefs can do it again again they're the best but yeah because of mahomes but i think maybe maybe the bangles but i would still probably put my money on the chiefs yeah but i um i do think the cowboys might actually do it this year and i'm probably jinxing them as a fan but like now is this cowboys delusion in the Now, is this Cowboys fan delusion the same way that Knicks fans were delusional?

I'm pretty good about that usually. Yeah, we're not delusional. I don't know what I was talking about. Y'all are actually building something as a basketball organization, which really bothers me. But I'm usually not delusional about the Cowboys.

I'll buy in for sure, but not. It's rare. Oh, so this is like real. I'm like quietly hopeful. I'm saying it, you know, here. This is the loudest. This is the only time I can't believe I'm going to admit this, but America could use a Cowboys Super Bowl win. Absolutely.

And what I mean by that is that like the Cowboys, whether you like it or not, are still America's team. And what I mean by that is that there are Cowboy fans around the country that have no connection at all to texas when you see yankee fans around the country their dad's from new york he moved out to la they were born in new york they moved out that there's yankee fans around the country but there is some sort of like um connectivity to new york yes charlotte means a cowboys fan the fuck he got to do with dallas yeah his dad don't got nothing to do with Dallas, right? I think it was just they were getting so much TV coverage, and they were just so successful and exciting team.

So maybe there needs to be a little bit. If the Lakers are not good for 20, 30 years, it's like, what's, we need, we could use the Lakers. It's good when the massive franchises, say what? I said they're coming up on that. But they won a championship in 2020. That kept them relevant. Exactly. And it's good when Massive franchises. Say what? I said they're coming up on that. But they won a championship in 2020. That kept them relevant. Exactly.

And it's good when the big franchises for the sports, for the different sports, end up winning. It's good for the sport. Yeah. Because they bring out the most interest. Yeah, even if I casually, if I'm a casual sports fan, but this team that I just don't like casually is good, I'm a little more interested to see if they lose. I mean, with all due respect to Kansas City, that is the worst thing that could possibly happen for the NFL. The NFL's not thrilled about it.

The team in Kansas City wins? No. You want the fucking Giants to win, the Jets to win. Dude, them LA Rams? Nah. Nah? Do we like it? Nah. Actually, you know what could be good? The Raiders. The Raiders and Vegas doesn't hit as much. Yeah, but

just such an iconic franchise. Steelers. How do you pronounce it? I know, I was like, huh? The Jets are looking good. Did you see Hard Knocks? Yo, the Jets could be good, dude. You think so? Yeah, the Jets could be good. At least it's fun, right?

New York. Here's the thing about Aaron Rogers, too. Does Hard Knocks gas you a little bit? No, but Aaron Rogers is different because he didn't give a fuck last year i don't think he wanted out now he cares and he wants to prove something yeah that's the thing he has to prove that he's that motherfucker and sometimes you need a situation like this to ignite the competitive flame of these guys that are like the true alpha males there's no such thing as a starting quarterback as good as aaron rogers who doesn't have an insane competitive drive. Dude, imagine—

They don't exist. The playoffs for the AFC, if you're making your picks on price picks, you're not going to know who the fuck to choose. Yes. Because it could be Aaron Rodgers, Joe Burrow, Josh Allen, Patrick Mahomes. They could all meet. These are four of the top five quarterbacks in the league. If Jalen Hurts is top five for Philadelphia in the playoffs,

if that's your last four teams standing, you're just like, holy shit, that conference is crazy. Playoffs are going to be crazy on the AFC side. Okay, so who are you putting your money on? I think I'm going to have to go Kansas City. With prize picks. Yeah, absolutely, with prize picks. I'm going Kansas City and Dallas, I think.

I think, yeah. Again, Philadelphia looks the best on paper. I just feel like they have to—I just can't see them not getting a bunch of injuries this year. And Jalen Hurts runs a lot, which he's fucking good at, and he's a hoss. But that's also—these are NFL athletes tackling you now. Yeah, the other guys run, too. Yeah, yeah. And you're randomly right a lot.

I be randomly right, yo. You're randomly right a lot. I'd be randomly right, yo. I'd randomly be right. Okay, so what'd you put it down? You said Cowboys and Kansas City. And I think Kansas City would win that. Jets. And? You know, two teams play.

Jets, not a bad pick, yo. I think this year is going to be the first year where it's only one. I think this year is going to be the first year where it's only one. I think this year is going to be the first year where it's only one pick. Only one single pick. I think Aaron's got it, dude. I think the Jets are going to play the Jets. I would love it if the Jets won the Super Bowl. Against the Jets?

Yeah, dude. A Jets Super Bowl? But then the Jets would lose. There are no losers, and there are no winners. Fuck, the Jets would also lose. So I would be wrong as well. Damn it. Shit.

We're in a real conundrum. We really are here, guys. Okay, fine. I'm going to go. My two picks? Me personally? Dallas Cowboys. Oh.

Kansas City Chiefs. Oh, shit, dude. I think I'm going to go. Oh, shit, dude. Completely independent from you. That City Chiefs. Oh, shit, dude. I think I'm going to go Johnson's College and Kansas City Chiefs. I am really stupid. Completely independent from you. That's really stupid. Completely independent from you.

It couldn't disappear more. And it has nothing to do with the fact that I don't know which divisions any of the teams are in, and I'll never learn that in my life. But I think it's just because that is what my gut was telling me. All right, well, hey, you can make those picks on PrizePix in 60 seconds. You can download the app, PrizePix. All right, so what you're going to do is you're going to take my picks, okay, or whatever picks you guys want, but my picks will probably be the right ones.

It has nothing to do with the fact that Akash has the same picks. Disregard my picks. My picks are not accurate. I would actually disregard his. Go with my picks. I agree. Which are definitely Dallas Cowboys, Kansas City Chiefs, which I have picked because of all the football I watch.

And so what I want you to do is I want you to go to prizepicks.com and you will get a 100% deposit match up to $100 with the promo code Schultz. Think about that. Okay? Think about that. They're going to match your deposit up to $100 when you use the promo code SHULTZ at prizepix.com. Go get that. Go get that money. Earn lots

of it. Okay? Love you. Now what else we got, Marquits? All right. Mitch McConnell froze while he was talking. Did you see that? Again. He froze again. Should there be age limits for politicians? Yes. What's the rule? Yes. Yeah. Yes. Or physical performance. Maybe he was trying to get a joke off on a podcast.

Sometimes you freeze up. You got hurt. Sometimes, you know. Yeah, don't you have to get retested for... License to do an eye test. Driver's license, yeah. All kinds of shit you gotta get. That's like every 10 years.

But this motherfucker's been in here mad long, like 30 years or something yeah i mean it's crazy yeah he gotta go you gotta go game over who's the lady that's in the wheelchair feinstein yeah weinstein feinstein feinstein yeah he has to go she has to go biden has to go like everybody if your brain is off you you got to go, bro. That's completely reasonable. I think it's spelling bee or something. I think they should all have him do a spelling bee and do basic words. They're going to crush that

shit. He's the president, I bet. He's doing the wrong thing. He's like, you should have raised the age limit to vote. Nah, you should lower the fucking age limit where you could fucking run. Yeah, if you're going to put bumpers, you know what I mean? You have a top and a bottom. Yeah. 25 to 65, that's it.

I don't like the raising the age limit, but that's cool. Yeah, you can't raise it past the age of military service. They have to have a say in what's happening in the country. That's fair. If they're going to die for it, they have

to have a say in the direction that it goes. That's fair. Now, if. If they're going to die for it, they have to have a say in the direction that it goes. That's fair. Now, if you want to increase the age of military service to 25, you can, but you're not going to get anybody. Yeah. By 25, they'll already have

maybe a job, maybe a career that they're invested in. They were already struggling to get military. Yeah, exactly. You can't do a pull-up. Have you seen this?

No. They put out a study where they're like, of the military recruits that are voluntarily going in, it's like 30% are passing the basic army military test. That's marked two years ago.

Yeah, literally, dude. Going to the hospital. Yeah, but now that everything is drone strikes, I think that we should have ones that are good at the controller. Video game. Thumb dexterity. Yeah. Ninja should be a war commander. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, being great at war is going to change dramatically. It's going to be all these gamers. 100%. They're not going to have actual people in the field. So maybe they flip it. If you can do 10 pull-ups,

you can't be in. Yeah. Can't be in. Yeah. No way. Yeah, you have to be. You know, if you're too smart as a cop, you can't be a cop,

you have to be a detective. It should be like that. If you're too strong, you can't be. Is that true? What detective told you? Yeah, you have to be. You know, if you're too smart as a cop, you can't be a cop, you have to be a detective. It should be like that. If you're too strong, you can't be. Is that true? What detective told you that? Yeah, that's not a thing. They won't put you on a beat if you're too smart. What TV show are you watching?

I've heard this from multiple people, so it must be true. From multiple detectives that wanted to impress me. I've talked to them. Detective Sons, maybe? You know what I mean? Who we used to do comedy with that's one of them sure sure like has any cop ever told you this he's like yeah i wanted to be a detective but i'm gonna date you like you know what i'm saying they're probably too dumb to realize what's happening yeah that's how it is that is kind of fun but it's okay that you thought it. I do think it.

There was a court case in the 2000s based on this. So Akash might be right on this. Suck my dick, everyone. It was at least a court case. It was at least a court case. They only accepted people in 2000 in the city of New London between some score between 20 and 27, and he scored above that.

And they only accept candidates within a certain level, and he scored above that, and they only accept candidates within a certain level, and he scored above. His IQ is too high. Al, dumbass, had no idea because he probably scored a 23, did whatever the fuck he wanted. He scored two,

so he wasn't allowed to be a cop. What was on that test? Vocabulary? Is that why he didn't know this shit? I'm figuring it out. I'm learning while we're reading. See? No one knows. I scored learning while we're reading. See? No one knows.

I scored as high as you did on your empaths. I did get a 23 the first time. It's very embarrassing. No, it's all right. Very embarrassing. I chose that number subconsciously for a reason. Oh, wow. I mean, they got to be looking for something, right?

They have to do like, you know, the CIA has a certain personality type that they're looking for. And there's that guy with the curly hair that's racially ambiguous who's going on all the bots. Yeah, Bustamante, who has to still be working for the CIA or something, or he'd be dead. You can't go on every podcast and tell all the CIA secrets and still live. That's true. Right? Like, he has to be like a part of the propaganda machine for the CIA, right?

I'm just not familiar with this person. You've probably seen clips of him. He's really knowledgeable and like fucking fascinating. But I just can't fathom that somebody could go on all these different platforms and start talking about all the nefarious shit that the CIA does. Yeah. And without some sort of like recourse, especially if you were employed by the CIA. It just seems you're never out of the cia yeah i 100 believe but um like really interesting shit and one of the things he said is the cia specifically looking for personality types it's like kids who have dealt with trauma because you want a certain amount of trauma where you uh become really competitive because you're looking for outside validation but not so much trauma that it's broken you. And you're gonna hurt yourself because you never will feel like you will get the validation at all.

Recruit comics. Yeah. I was gonna say this whole couch probably do that kid. But I think you see some athletes that are doing that. I think you'll see, but it's interesting the CIA has kind of worked it out. It's like, what would be the best employee? Yeah. Okay, these people who are seeking that external validation and we can curate them and mold them into the people that we need

and put the carrot in front of them and the carrot will be like doing good for the company and making sure America is where it needs to be. But there are going to be certain people who are just going to go, nah, fuck no, I'm not doing that shit. I'm not going to go to this fucking third world country and screw up their military or police systems so we could extract some minerals. That's what cops are doing. And in this example, the city's rationale for the long standing practice is that candidates who score too high could get bored with police work and quit after undergoing costly academic. So they do these- I heard that too.

That was the reason. I got bored and I quit. No, for real. So they'll do these studies, I imagine they'll find the employees that have stayed there for 30, or what is it, 25 and out? 20 and out? Whatever it is.

And I guarantee they probably found within two standard deviations of this IQ, these people stay the longest. It's like, do we really want to have to retrain and get people up

to this next level and have them walking? Or do we want people who will be here for 25 years? They know the fucking beats. They're not going anywhere. Oh, it's between this IQ and this IQ and this background? Block them. That makes sense.

And the thing that's interesting is we do testing all the time. It's not like an awful thing to do. There's testing to get into Harvard. If you don't score high enough on this test, you don't get in, right? It's weird when we want you to be bad. Yeah. Being good,

it's like, oh, this is an achievement. Because you want it to be a meritocracy, especially when it comes to policing, which is like, involves our safety.

Yeah. That's why it's like, well, you don't want the best? What the fuck? The best and the brightest is the idea behind everything. But what is the best? That's the thing.

Maybe they've figured out that the best is actually not some smart dude who's going to go, I don't like walking down the fucking streets every single day. I want to read engineering papers and do something else with my time. No, I think they're saying, what are the people who are going to stay? It's not about whether they're the best or not. I think the people who score high, they're probably great cops, but they're just like, hey, I don't. What I'm trying to say

is that part of being the best is staying. Because if you are the best and leave, you're zero. Yeah, you're the best. Gotcha. Yeah, but we tie in intelligence to it

because what do they say? The best and the brightest. Yeah. That's the colloquialism. Well, I want the best and the brightest. We kind of tie those two together. So when we're removing the brightest, we're like,

well, then they can't be the best. You see what I'm saying? Inside, in here, we're like, well, then they're not the best if they're not the brightest. Is it wrong to discriminate based on intelligence the other way? Or a lack of intelligence? It's okay

to discriminate based on a lack of intelligence, meaning this is how you get a job, based on a lack of intelligence, meaning this is how you get a job. This is how you get in school. This is how you become part of, I think they decide which section of your branch of the military you go in. If you score really high, they're like, we need you to be in the, what is it called? Intelligence. Intelligence sector, whatever. So if that's okay, why is it wrong to discriminate based on too high intellect?

Why is it wrong to be like, oh, so you scored too high on this test? If it's okay to do it with people that score low, why can't we do it with people that score high? Because I think the assumption is that the threshold is that

if you're past the point, you could go down. You know what I mean? Like, oh, you're too smart to be a garbage man. It's like you would do it the inverse way because you're not smart enough to do a hard job. But if you are smart, you can do an easier job. You know what I'm saying? Like, I have the skill set. But what if they've proven or some economists that did this study proves that like,

they actually can't. Right. That they need more stimulus. And because they need more stimulus for whatever reason, they do the job worse. That would be the counterintuitive. And so most people, they're like, yeah, it's wrong that you can't go down. So we're just looking at that as like layman's, but the reality is if you do the research, they actually do a worse job.

You know how companies will say you're overqualified for this job and they're like, people will be like, what are you fucking talking about? I'm overqualified. The company's like, well, this is the best. We need people that have these qualifications because you're going to get bored with it. It's the same idea. But that guy's like,

yo, I need a fucking job. I will do this. I promise. And to that guy, it's like, I can't eat because I'm too good. I can't feed my family because I'm too good. But we're looking at it as good. You're not good enough for the job. The good IQ range right here is what is good for the job. The person's going to stay. Exactly. The person's going to stay. The person's going to enjoy, I guess, their job. And the person's going to put that love and affection into it.

And I guess they see at this IQ range, they think they're over it. I guess the part that's in Congress is they're talking about your long-term desire to stay at this job. And that smart person's short-term desire is like, yo, no. My desire is I want to be here. You're telling me I won't want to, I'm telling you I do. So we side with that person. We're like, yo, he wants to be here. What are you talking about? Based on probabilities, he won't. Bro, I wonder if they see this happening with cops where, okay, you're a cop, you're in a position of power and authority. And the smart cops start realizing, oh, with my power and authority,

I could probably do some other businesses that somewhat rely on this power and authority. Okay, I could probably do personal protection for people on my time off. And I think maybe some in New York, I don't know if they allow the cops to do that on the side. Like, I don't know if you're allowed to be like a private security. Once you retire. Once you retire, you can, but not during. So then I wonder if some of the cops are like, all right, what I'll do is I'll have a private security agency where I'll have all my retired buddies all working for me doing private security. And now you've got four, five, six other hustles going on while you're a cop.

And if you're the chief, you're like, all right, this guy's stretched thin because he's already working 40 hours a week on this other stuff. He's sleeping on a job or he's not taking this shit that seriously. He's not chasing that perp because he's got all these other things that are making him the real money. I wonder if that's where things are going. You're like, okay, these really ambitious and industrious people aren't going to take this job seriously, and we really need them to take it seriously. I like the idea of discriminating based on intelligence. Being too smart. I like that. I discriminating based on intelligence. Being too smart. I like that.

I don't like that. You've done it with women your whole life besides the one you're with now. This is the first smart woman you dated. You discriminated on intelligence for your whole life. Think about that. You see, Chifty, that's why you get engaged. Chifty not even here. I was so tired I was looking into that like that was my scene, like he was there.

That's my single. I was looking the wrong ass side for my single. Wow, that is impressive. You're telling me you weren't looking at Shifty? No, I was thinking his camera was going to be on me and he's not even there. And I saw he wasn't there and I was like, but I'm still looking there. It'll move. It'll move. It'll move.

That's impressive. I don't even know what's happening. We might need to do age limits for the pod, dude. Honestly, we might need to have an age cutoff for this show. Okay. Can we discuss this latest Dylan Danis and Logan Paul situation?

Yeah, have things escalated? I mean, it seems that people really want Logan's fiance to be having sex on camera. Because a video went out of allegedly

her blowing this dude. And I think it pretty quickly is determined that it's not her. Yeah, the woman in the video has tattoos that she does not have. It wasn't that quick to determine that. You had to watch it a couple times. Is that what you did? Yeah.

Yo, the dude does a fire move in the video where she's one hand in it and he grabs her, no, he grabs her other hand and he puts it on it oh i think the other part no he was like yo you need help and just takes it and then she double hands it and it was just i was like yo that's fire bro that is a good move dude had a hog on him though you saw the video without the emoji yeah i sent that group. No, you didn't send it to the group. I sent it to the group. He did.

It's like two minutes and something seconds. Dude goes from a good like four inches to a ball. Oh, so she's stepping some up. The BWC. Okay. Okay. Alright guys, we're going to take a break real quick because look, getting wrongfully injured sucks.

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told he was like i think we should get the other. Don't put this shit on me. Most of my shit is in Bitcoin. You was already buying all these other weird ass coins and you were talking to these specialists and shit? No, the first coin I bought was one alt. I had one alt and that went up like 10x. You bought me alt.

I know because you were like, I feel like that's where we can make more money. No, you bought it for my birthday. Yeah, well after. Do not put this shit on me, son. It was for your wedding. What coin was this shit on me, sir. It was for your wedding. It was for your wedding. This is on you, bro. You're fine.

I can't believe you're doing this. We can find these texts from 2021. I cannot believe you're doing this right now. Come on, dude. I have to find these. Find these.

I will. Find these. I will. How are we going to play Pat on the Hamptons with this type of financial advice, Andrew? You're putting us

so far away from the dream. Bro, I'm not a... Listen, I'm not a... Listen, I'm more competitive than I am smart. And the idea of Akash getting rich without me getting rich really infuriated me, so I decided to sink my ship too.

We were either going to sail away to being billionaires together, or we were both going to be broke. And listen, we chose to sink. It is what it is. It is what it is. Bitcoin is still going to roar back. Last time Pomp was on the podcast, he had sweatpants and a shirt with a mustard stain on it. So things are probably going well. Do you know what I mean? Because he's so casual. He's a casual guy. He's a casual guy, okay? He took a bus here. He had a mega bus ticket in his

pocket that fell out when he got up. But things are going to be okay. Bitcoin forever. From Miami. We love you. From Miami. He took a bus. He doesn't live in Miami anymore. He lives in Raleigh, North Carolina. Oh, is that true?

Yes, he had to move. He had to move. Oh, damn. Pray for Pop. They don't like him in the streets. Bro, can I say something, though? This is how you know he really should be CIA, because he's so charismatic that I still like him despite him convincing me to get into this. I still love you, Pump.

I believe. You have to. You have to. Why is that? Because you're already a made man. Is that 23? That's what you mean. You have to believe because you're invested so much in it.

So, of course, you want it to be real. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's your religion. I see what you're saying. I see what you're saying. Yeah. But it's going to come back. Yeah, I would believe that, too, if I was you.

I was right about it. That's what Christians have been saying for years, dude. Yeah. Literally, that exact sentence. It's coming back. It's coming back. You don't see how, like, being pot committed makes you want to believe it's going to be okay. I see what you're saying, but I'm still right.

About what? I was right about the cops. I was right about flying cars, reincarnation. Al, give me on that one. I'd be right. I'd be right randomly. Don't make no sense. I'd be right.

I'd be right randomly. I'd be right randomly. It don't make no sense. I'd just be throwing things out there that I hear from people and i'm right and i'm gonna be right about bitcoin all right i hope you are you don't even got enough to give a fuck i think i do okay you got a hard drive i say you got your hard drive yeah the hard drive just to buy one at 60 and where it went to, he should give a fuck.

Where is it at now? $30,000? $27,000. It was $30,000. No, but I bought a few. I bought them literally at the high. I bought one at $65,000

or something like that. Within two days, it dropped. Then I bought another one at $45,000 like 45 I was like can't go lower than this and it dropped and I bought another one at like 35 or something I was like there's no way it can go lower than this it hit 19 the actual high is 65

yeah I bought it two days before the actual peak if you want to know when he bought it go to the chart and then go to when it goes down if you want to know when he bought it, go to the chart and then go to when it goes down. Oh, man. And it's that day. If you want to know how to not invest, just follow me.

Just follow me. Just follow me. It's very simple. Oh, man. I am hype beast. I bought Bitcoin after the hype. And I knew everything people were saying to me was absolute bullshit.

It's the same thing as the US dollar. No, it's not. Okay? Because they don't have curly-haired, Egyptian-looking motherfuckers named Bustamante going into your country, shooting your prime ministers or whatever, because American dollars matter. Yeah. That's what we need. That's what Bitcoin needs. Yes.

You need to get a Persian-looking motherfucker like him to go bang. To overthrow the Shah. That's what we need. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what we need. Sometimes that needs to happen. Yes. You need to get a Persian looking motherfucker like him to overthrow the Shah. That's what we need. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sometimes that needs to happen. Send the boys. Send the boys. Ain't no boys protecting Bitcoin. You ain't got no boys. You got pop. You could be the army.

You could start the Bitcoin army, dude. You could be the face of it. You could be the general. Yeah. Come on. It's a tech army. We could form a nice tech army. Yeah. Indians would be nice with a tech army. Mm-hmm. We got this. Son, India is massive.

You don't think the Indians were catching bodies back in the day, the Indian Empire? Yeah. Of course. Back in the day. What do you mean? They were killing a lot of Indians. That's the problem. Well, they were just killing people.

They weren't called Indians yet. But they were all around each other. They were all just killing each other. Yeah, we called them Indians. They just called them people. They didn't know they were Indian until people. They weren't called Indians yet. But they were all around each other. They were all just killing each other. Yeah, we called them Indians. They just called them people. They didn't know they were Indian until we got there. They thought they were people? It's shocking. Is that what you're trying to tell me right now?

It's fucking shocking, honestly. History is a crazy place, dude. Dude, imagine showing up somewhere and being like, yep, you guys are Indians. And they're like, what? I thought we were just human beings. We're like, no, the humans live over there. Dude, that's crazy. just running around naming people oh how much fun it used to be yeah we can do it with aliens we can do it with aliens though yeah this alien shit when we meet them we'd be like you guys are

aliens and they're gonna look at us be like you guys are aliens yeah that's gonna fuck us up when they say you guys are aliens and we're gonna be like what that's what y'all did we've been here the whole time we're people they're gonna be like no you're aliens oh that's what's going to fuck us up. When they say you guys are aliens, we're going to be like, what? That's what y'all did. We've been here the whole time. We're people. And they're going to be like, nah, you're aliens. Oh, that's interesting. So who gets to call who the alien? Whoever gets there. Whoever got the more advanced, just like y'all had the more advanced weaponry. I'm not even taking shots. Guns, germs, and steel.

They're going to have the guns, germs, and steel, probably. And then they're going to decide, we the aliens. Well, no, no, because you're an alien if you enter someone else's territory. So we would just be humans. We'd just be people. We'd just be whatever we are. They would be the aliens.

They could be like we are. Like an illegal alien. Well, they would name you. They would name us as winners because they're just like y'all named us Indians when you came over. They're going to come over and name us. Dude, what do their movies look like? Indians? They are awesome. Ali're going to come over and name us. Dude, what do their movies look like? Indians? They are awesome. Aliens.

I quite like Indians. Aliens, I'm just saying, they've got to have movies. If we really do believe in aliens, they've got to have movies. They've got to have stories. They've got to have TV shows. And what do you think we look like in their TV shows? If they have, say again? Anime? What are you talking about?

Are you talking about Asians? No, that's Asian movies. That's Japanese films. You thought they were from Outer Space? No, that was a mistake. They're from the Highland Okinawa. These are live action movies starring Bruce Lee. What are you talking about? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but actual alien movies

are probably fire. Probably awesome. If I had to bet. I don't think we would even understand them. Who knows? And we would probably look crazy because we assume aliens look weird. What if that's just the outfit they're wearing? We assume that they're naked. You know what I mean? We assume that their heads are all big. They probably think that we have

big glass-shaped heads. But it's actually just the helmet that we're wearing the whole time. Keep going. The real aliens are inside the alien, bro. Just like's actually just the helmet that we're wearing the whole time. Keep going. The real aliens are inside the alien, bro. Just like we, they probably think that we're astronauts. It's so funny when Mark describes these things and most people are watching and listening and the people watching and listening

have seen movies before. So what Mark is describing is in every movie, but Mark hasn't seen movies. So he thinks he's saying something novel. When are you going to start saying something? What movie is that? He's like, yo, what if we found a mosquito

that was caught in some magma from dinosaur times and then we extracted the blood from that mosquito and then made fucking dinosaurs with it? What if we did that? That would actually be fine. We got to pitch Mark on certain movie things

and just not tell him. This could be good. That is sick, actually. The scientists are thinking what they can do and not what they should do. When there's an asteroid coming to Earth and it's going to destroy Earth, instead of sending engineers up there, what we do is we send oil drillers that are actually felons.

I'm going to remind the people that the last time you told us about Armageddon, you cried while you were explaining it. Don't do it again. I'd be emotional, bro. Bruce Willis got me. Bruce Willis got me. We're sitting in these exact seats. I'm requesting permission to shake the hands of the bravest man I've ever met in my life. He's getting teary-eyed now.

I've been watching Maverick. I've been watching Maverick scenes. I don't even watch movies no more. I watch the most banger scenes in Maverick. Don't think, just do. Hey, Maverick, don't think, just do. Explain Armageddon to me, Andrew. I've never seen it. I can't, bro. I'm going to break down.

I'm going to break down. Requesting permission to shake the hand of the bravest man I've ever met it. I can't, bro. I'm going to break down. Three minutes in, he goes. I'm going to break down. I'm going to break down. Requesting permission to shake the hand of the bravest man I've ever met in my life. He's the bravest man. They drew straws. Ben Affleck got the small straw. Ripped his oxygen cord. You care too much. Put him back in the elevator.

You've got to care less about these things. Bro, don't think, just do. Don't think, just do. Take care of my baby girl. Take care of my baby girl. No. Y'all don't know. I just wanted to know my baby girl. No. Y'all don't know. I just wanted to know.

Y'all don't know. I just wanted like a general. Steve Buscemi fucking shit up. What am I supposed to do? Steve Buscemi fucking shit up. You're crying about the movie. I just want to know what it was about generally. Bro, do you want to know what's really about sacrifice?

It's about love. It's about family. It's about love. It's about family, Mark. Mark, the movie's really about love. It's about family. It's not love. It's about family, Mark. Mark, the movie's really about love. It's about family. It's not even about what I'm saying. I don't understand because they're not actually related.

So what are you saying? It doesn't matter, bro. Sometimes family's bigger than blood. Sometimes family's bigger than blood. It's about love. You notice I've never asked you about a movie since that day? Because I just sat here for 10 minutes awkwardly while you wept. Andrew, we will not go quietly into the night.

We will not vanish without a fight. We're going to live on. We're going to survive. Today, we celebrate. This is our independence day. No, no. Oh, shit! Oh, shit!

Talk about the sacrifice in that movie. Is that Braveheart? Randy Quaid, dog. Randy motherfucking Quaid. What did he say? What was the line? Suck my dick, aliens, or something like that? Hello, boys.

I'm back. How about Men in Black? When Tommy Lee Jones retires? Don't do it to him. He goes, I'm going to miss this place. What did Will Smith say? No, you won't. You won't.

I'm crying right now. I'm crying right now. I'm like, I'm not getting this. You crying right now I'm crying right now I'm like I'm not getting this You know what the difference Between you and me is? I make this look good You remember in Coco

When he's singing to his grandma Shut up Shut up Shut the fuck up Mark Al and his gay ass movies On a plane Remember me Always crying on a plane

Who cries on a plane? Whoever cries on a plane I would never do nothing like that Crying on a goddamn plane No No one's ever watched the movie Lying on a plane. Whoever cries on a plane. I would never do nothing like that. Cry on a goddamn plane. No one's ever watched a movie lying on a plane. I want to get you. Blue Bayou got me on a plane. As per your recommendation. I got the fuck out of me.

I already told the story. I was crying while watching on someone else's TV. That's how you know it's one of the greatest movies of all time. I'm watching on someone else's TV weeping. Watch that movie. The ending rips your fucking heart out. It's unbelievable. Unbelievable. Weeping.

Unbelievable, dude. Bro, that shit was crazy. Oh, bro. That shit was crazy. I was so locked into the storyline, I couldn't even get it up on my own TV. I couldn't even get it because I was going to miss what the fuck was going on, and I didn't know where the TV is. I almost tapped the motherfucker's screen to see where he was in the movie.

Bro, oh, Blue Bayou. Bro, Blue Bayou. Go watch Blue Bayou. Absolutely fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. I'm just saying. Mark, look what you're missing out on. Yeah, it seems like a lot.

Look what you're missing. You're missing out on raw emotion. This is why you're autistic. Because you haven't experienced this raw emotion that we've experienced. Where the fuck is he autistic now?

Say again? Where is he autistic now? He's autistic way before you're autistic. Oh, you are. Actually, get gay. He's autistic. Wait, before you autistic. Oh, you are actually gay, gay. He's autistic. He's almost gotten away. He's like, actually not.

You're not gay, gay. You're too emotional to be autistic. What are you talking about? You're a crying bitch. Zero emotion. You're crying. That one. That one.

I was like, ooh. No, but you do have a lot of emotions. You do cry. No, I got to force it. I got to force it. I don't feel nothing. Six feet? Six feet?

What six feet? Six feet or five feet? I don't know. Whatever that little breathing movie that you watched. Remember you was crying about that? Little wings. Little breathing movies. What are you talking about?

Remember the movie was like, you got to be six feet away because my lungs don't work. Are you talking about COVID? No, son. I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. No, it's a movie you guys watched on the plane. We were going to like Hawaii or some shit and you were watching this movie and you were like, bro, he's weeping. He turns to me and goes, you gotta watch this

movie. Five feet. It was Coco, bro. No, it's the movie. Five feet apart. Five feet apart. Oh, that shit. Wait, hold up. Get your shit together. Get your shit together. I was talking about this one. Oh, my God.

That movie kind of sucked. It sucked. That movie blew ass. Oh, my God. That movie blew ass. Come on. Son, son, son, son. Cole Sprouse.

It's got fucking Cole Sprouse. It's got my sweet life. It's got my sweet life. Bro. It's got my sweet life on deck. Blue ass. He cried his sweet life on deck, bro. This movie right here, blue ass.

Yo, you wouldn't know about the sweet life. You fucking. Nothing. Exactly. This is the movie right here? Blue Ass. Yo, you wouldn't know about the Suite Life. Exactly. This is the one right here. Blue Ass. That's the one. It's not the one. You don't even compare that to Coco. I can't even trust your Coco recommendation after saying that that's the same. Nah, Coco. Come on. Coco. Coco.

Coco might be the goat Pixar or whatever. Yeah, come on. Stop it. You can't even. I mean, honestly, yes. Stop it. Honestly, it's fantastic. Mama Coco. Mama Coco. Oh, my God.

Out of nowhere, I just fucking. Remember me. So, yeah, I got to watch the movies and try to take the edge off the audience. That hit me right there. That shit hit me. You can sing, honey. That shit hit me. Mark, you got to watch.

Oh, God. I'm trying to think of a good. He hasn't seen The Godfather. Yeah, that's going to be on the slate for this year. The Godfather's not going to make you cry, though. No, it's fine. I've seen a really good show this past weekend. Hijack. Oh, yeah. Phenomenal.

Yeah. Great movie. Requiem for a Dream apparently is good. You're not going to cry, though. It's too dark. It's just great filmmaking. Aronofsky's a beast. Cry movies? What's going to make me cry? What if I had to give it to you? I told you! The motherfucking misfits that go to the moving asteroid, and they got to blow it up, but they can't because they landed in the wrong section,

and this section is the hardest material ever. Nobody could drill through it except Bruce Willis and the math link. Come on, Bruce. Come on, bro. Nobody could drill through that substance. It's pure titanium alloy. What? Bro, it's pure.

Steve Buscemi is doing all the calculations. Bobbles? Yes. And then he gets altitude sickness and starts to shoot everybody with a machine gun. You brought a gun up here? What is wrong with you? You really sound smooth. That's a lot, son.

That's a real one. The amount of detail you know about this. I knew you saw it recently. You saw it recently. They blew the landing by at least three miles. When did you last see it? Honestly, within three months. I showed it to my wife, and I was like, you better cry at this.

Don't you hate? I don't want to say or. I don't want to put the or out there, but we all knew the stakes that was on that one. Don't you hate having to show movies to your wife when you were like 15 and be like, you're too young to have seen this? Son. Oh, my goodness. Son, I. You're too young to have seen this movie from when I was going into high school.

Son. It's in black and white? She's like, what? She's nine years younger than me. She don't know. Charlie Chaplin? Trying to explain French Prince to her and shit? You didn't know.

We love that show. You don't get it. I feel like Margaret. I tried to do swingers. I tried to show her swingers. Swingers not happening, yo. Not feeling that movie. Not happening.

That movie was fire. I don't give a fuck. Oh, man. That's to show her Swingers. Swingers not happening, yo. Not feeling that movie at all. Not happening. That movie was fire. I don't give a fuck. Oh, man. That's one of the greatest movies ever, Swingers. Oh, fuck, dude. Austin, Texas. There's a few tickets left to come see me and Derek Poston this Thursday at 7 p.m. Just to come see us do stand-up comedy.

Nothing else. No other interactions are going to take place. It's just going to be me and Derek telling jokes, connecting with other human beings. And at the end of the day, that's all that matters. But hey, if you're not in Austin, maybe you're in Canada. Maybe you're in Toronto, Canada. I'm sorry, what was that?

I'm just saying they could theoretically give you oral sex at these shows if they wanted. No. They could just buy a ticket and see if you feel like doing it or not. I have a wife and a lot of the people that come out to the shows are men.

It's not cheating if it's a man, I don't think. Toronto. On September 28th, you can come see me and Derek at the Comedy Bar

in Danforth. You know you guys love to suck dick. Maybe Toronto, I would consider it. Maybe in Toronto, I would consider it. We'd have to see

what kind of men are coming to the show. Toronto's cold. You know what's warm? That mouth. I thought you were going to say my dad. I thought you were going to give it up to me. All right. In Toronto, the 28th, you can come see us.

Or in Austin, Texas, this Thursday on the 7th. It's a late show. Vulcan Gas Company. We're going to have a bunch of people tapping in. I'm telling you, there's going to be a lot of cool people, a lot of famous comedians, a lot of good comedians coming too as well. I'll see you guys there. I can't wait.

Open mouthed. Anyway, I wonder how much longer I can linger this date read. I wonder if people have even skipped. You know, who else lingers? People that might want to suck your dick after a comedy show. This idea is starting to grow on me. You know what well-slingers, people that might want to suck your dick after a comedy show. This idea is starting to grow on me. You know what else grows? Back to the show.

The YouTuber Fouseytube has been arrested and hospitalized. Yes. It's very sad. Yeah, bro. This is sad to watch, I felt. This guy's so entertaining, it's unbelievable. It's crazy. Why is it sad to watch?

He's watching this guy fall apart. Who is this guy? I didn't know who he was until... So he's a very popular YouTuber that then became a very popular streamer slash YouTuber and has recently been doing a sub-a-thon where he's just streaming nonstop. You've probably seen clips of him. They've been popping up everywhere. Car crash, car crash, car crash, car crash.

Let's put it the best way. Every single interaction he's having with people on the sub-a-thon is just, how do I turn this into a train wreck? So my question is, why do you feel bad for somebody who's intentionally trying to do this? Because people have started to suspect that he is just truly going insane. Yeah. That he's having like a mental health crisis. And as a result, he was Baker acted in Miami where he was doing the subathon

and was arrested live on camera. I feel like you have to be sane at some level to like, ah, every interaction, let me make it a moment. So this is what he was eventually arrested for. So basically, he calls 911 and tells them that he's in a hostage situation. He has a gun to his head, even though that wasn't the case. After spending some time convincing the dispatcher that his life was indeed in danger, four police officers showed up to his hotel room. Then he claimed that his mother was in danger and someone was calling and threatening her.

And then he's been talking about that he has a stalker, that people are following him. He's been, like, displaying signs of paranoia. So he's just, like, making up shit. Well, there's also another streamer that does, is talking to him and is calling him. And telling him, like, I know where you're at, yadda yadda, like, da da da da da. So then he calls and he says, I'm going to ruin your life. Like, he calls the cops on himself in a weird way. It's hard to tell what's real and what's not. So he just exaggerated to get the cops there quicker. Yes, very much so. I think you got to look at it like this. It's like

in the streaming world, the, the currency is really the amount of people that are watching your stream. Right? So it's like, how do you maintain those people watching? So it's like, it's, you have 10,000 people watching. How do you make sure those 10,000 people don't tune out? You have to have a car crash every single second. And what he was doing is, I think he was doing like a live stream throughout the entire day. So he would just be filming himself constantly. Multiple days.

An IRL live stream. There's only a few of these guys doing it. Like Aiden Ross is another one of them. Ty became the biggest doing the sub-a-thon, though. Yes. So he's doing a sub-a-thon also streaming nonstop. So I would see, like, people would clip his stuff, and they'd put it up on Instagram, they'd put it up on YouTube, et cetera. So I'd see all these fucking clips, and there's no question it was so unbelievably entertaining.

I mean, like, every single fucking moment. And granted, I'm seeing the clips, so I'm seeing the most wild shit. I'm seeing the clip so I'm seeing the most wild shit but it's just every interaction is heated emotional response to every single thing it's like the reason why I laugh so much at Dove when we're just hanging out is everything is at the end with the emotional reaction you leave a cup out here with some juice in it you don't throw it away he doesn't come to you at a five like hey can you throw away your cup it's I'm not going to call the cleaning lady at all until everybody agrees to clean up their cups. This is fucking ridiculous. We're going to get roaches.

We're going to get bugs. I'm going to get some sort of disease. I won't be able to see my family. I'll never be able to see my family again. And that is this guy on a million on every single interaction. And he is producing it day after day after day. Now, I don't know what it takes in order to give that type of energy.

Do you need a substance? Do you naturally produce that? And you need a substance to take you down? Like some people who are manic can naturally produce those moments. But the cost is eventually you have to pay that debt. You're taking a debt. I assume either substance or mental illness

to keep it going at that high of a level at all times. It's interesting. Like, if I know, if he knows that there's a reward to these interactions,

it's like, hey, I just gotta act up. Like, to me, that's the most sane. If you know, oh, I just gotta yell and be erratic every time I engage

But most sane people still have a line. Keep people online. No, no. Like if you walked around naked all over Times Square and did a sub-a-thon, you know you could get whatever the fuck, make millions of dollars. You're not going to do it. Yeah, but that's the thing.

Now we're talking about like where people's morals are and what they're willing to do to attain the faith. I would say it's not just morals. There's also sanity involved. I think there's enough sanity that he's aware yeah and i think that they're this is the same guy who thinks you never got the flu ever in your life and you just missed days well well that's a good ass point i mean well let me finish i'm doubting doubting my book there is enough sanity where he's aware of what leads to the success. Yeah. And then there is enough, I don't want to call it insanity,

but he's missing enough of something that allows him to be way more shameless than the average person would. Now, does he get there with drugs? Does he get there with some sort of mental illness? How does he get there? I don't know. But the average person would feel some sort of shame in the situations that he's putting himself in. And maybe when he's sane, he doesn't feel that shame. Or maybe when

he's not on a drug, he doesn't feel that shame. Or maybe when he is taking his meds, he doesn't feel that shame. But I think that naturally as human beings, behaving in a way that would ostracize the group usually evokes some sort of uneasy disposition in ourselves, right? That's why we feel guilt. That's why we feel awkwardness. That's why we feel discomfort, right? And it's appearing as if he doesn't feel it. And that's why it's so hard to look away. Cause you're like, how could someone be so comfortable in this situation that would make me feel so desperately uncomfortable? And for a streamer, that is perfection. Cause I can't take my eyes away from the guy doing the thing that I would never want to do. Yeah. In a purely objective

sense, entertainment only. I mean, if you look at speed, he's incredibly good at this as well. Like barking at somebody now he's aware, he's aware of what he's doing. I believe at least he's aware of what he's doing. But at least he's aware of what he's doing but he also knows that if i behave in a way that isn't congruent to just normal social practices it's going to draw eyeballs and what's interesting about him is that now people expect that behavior so it reduces the awkwardness it was more awkward in the beginning right when people thought that he was just this absolute maniac now they're like hey you do that funny thing where you act in like an awkward way can you do that so i wonder if now it's even easier for him to play up the character because

it's the expectation is set now you're not being awkward you're're being speed. And we love it when you do that. So could this be like a situation where Fauci's... Fauci or Fauci? Fousey. Fousey, sorry. He's trying to find his line. Fauci. I think, yeah, Fauci was accused of similar behavior. Yeah.

I mean... Fauci too. But is he trying to find his... Just six feet away from everybody with a mask on. Do you remember when he had that mental episode where he told everyone two weeks to flatten the curve? Remember that when he had this breakdown in DC? But do you think he's

maybe trying to find his line, like how speed has? The character and the insanity are all in one at this point. And he's been an online personality for a while. But that's the thing. Didn't he have a lot of success and then went away for a while i and i'm trying to gain it back and he doesn't really know how to gain it back and then he's like oh this is working let me lean in i think that

i think what i would say the one difference between like him and like a speed is it's very evident that speed is behaving in a manner that is not congruent with normal practices for human beings. And Fousey, it doesn't seem like he's aware of it. Whether he is or not is left to be

known. We have a conversation with him and if he goes, yeah, dude, I was just running it up. It was crazy. Everybody was watching. I took over the fucking internet in five days. I had to keep on taking to another level another another it's like an only fans girl you start by showing the titties and then three months later in order to keep the only fans you get fucked in your ass so starting out with one thing and heightening and heightening and heightening it so maybe he has that conversation with us but for for speed for me at least whenever i've watched some stuff i'm always like oh this guy knows that

this is ridiculous. And if we're off camera, he'd be like, dude, I'm just going to dive into my laptop because it's such a ridiculous thing to do. I think people will just laugh at a clip of that. And that's what I thought. I also think Speed wouldn't do a 30-day sub-a-thon all the time because he turns it on and off. He picks his spots. He's not doing that all the time. And he, you know what I mean?

Like, as a sane person, he's going to he picks his spots he's not doing that all the time and he you know what i mean like as a sane person he's he's going to be really he's probably really quiet when he's not these numbers are up so he maybe doesn't have the need to do a subathon foosie's trying to get his shit back right i just i think even i don't think speed would do a subathon because he just yeah yeah uh it's similar you can just watch the video. It seems very like he's not aware that he's maybe in a mental health crisis. Yeah. Is he acting crazy or is he crazy? And it's hard to discern. And that's what the police arrested him for is basically to figure that out.

And that's also why he's so incredible at it because you don't know. Like you're like, fuck, am I watching somebody who's crazy or am i watching the greatest magician ever and the cops have showed up to speed before and the cameras go off and i'm sure speed is like yeah i'm doing a thing i'm sorry i'll cool off and then he doesn't get arrested but the fact that he got arrested is like um he never turned the act off which means it's not an act i think the act was different like he called the cops saying somebody's holding a gun to my head. That's a false Whatever like that's a crime. Yeah, so they had to but when the cops show up He doesn't calm down ago. No guys, you know, he just is fully still in the end Yeah, but it's really the fact that I think one way and you guys think another way is like this is why you can't stop

watching it you just can't stop watching. You just can't stop watching. Now, the question is... Yeah. If you live in New York, you can watch this for free. You don't even have to stream it. You can just go on the train. Don't you ever disrespect New York. That's what makes it great.

We're saying it's the most entertaining city for that reason. Just make it sure. Go to the Lower East Side 3 a.m. and just hang out. And you will see a thousand Fousey's. I bought a knife. Did you really?

For what? Stop it. What if a woman comes up to me and tries to harass me? On the street? What if a woman tries to bump into me? What would you do with the knife? I mean that sincerely. Say somewhere on the train. Go ahead.

He just wants to show it. I don't even think that. I don't even think he would show it. He'd be like, tell us a story. Can I suggest something else? I wanted to take out my knife. Can I suggest something else with not a knife? Mace? Mace?

You've got a Charleston White in you. You're a Mace guy. This guy is incredible. You are a Mace guy. I'm not a Mace guy, bro. I'm a sword fighter. No, you're a Mace guy. Yo, say that to my face, bro. Oh, shit. You see how long it took that? Say that to my face. Already. In that time, I would have already took you down. No? That don't even

scare me, though. It looks like you cut pears with that thing. Yeah. You couldn't cut a pear with that. You skin an apple with it. That don't even scare me. It looks like you cut pears with that thing. You couldn't cut a pear with that. You skin an apple with it. That's not doing no damage. What do you mean? He really looked it up because he knows four inches is the legal thing. So he's like, I'm going to make sure

if I get a knife, I'm going to get a legal knife. I'm not a criminal. I'm trying to stop criminals. I'm doing nothing. It was embarrassing because it's for women or whatever, but it is the most effective tool for protecting yourself. Thank God cargo shorts are in, dude. You've got so many pockets. So many pockets.

I'm going to carry all the self-defense equipment. I've got a knife. I've got a mace. No bullshit. I think the thing about having a knife, which is so terrifying, is by defending yourself. Do that action. Yeah, it's like shooting somebody. That's a scary action.

Shooting someone's easier. It's easier to shoot than it's that. So you're carrying this for no reason. If I have to do this to protect my car, I'm just going to do this, and then they're going to come at you, and you're going to be like, dog, Mace, distance, six feet away with mace. Bah. Bro, second of all, they're coming at you and if you're not willing to gut them, they're getting that knife from you and you're getting stuck. Before you brought out the knife,

you were just getting beat up and getting your wallet taken. Not a sharp knife. This is Charleston White's greatest service to humanity is letting men use mace. Yeah. That's the best thing he's done.

Mace is the shit. That's actually a good idea. Have a fake knife, pretend to drop it. Mace. He grabs the fake knife and then when he stabs me it actually has a blade

that comes out the other side. Just get a mace that looks like a knife. You know what I mean? Just get a mace can that looks like a knife so you feel like that's a bitch.

Press a little button and fuck him up. They must have gun mace where it looks like a gun but it's actually mace. That'd actually be so sick, dude. Yeah, it is. Then everyone wins.

That's kind of hard. Someone write that down. I like that. Edit that from the pod. That'd make a million dollars in the industry. That's actually kind of fire Someone write that down. I like that. Edit that from the pod. That's actually kind of fire. That is fire. But that's going to get so many people killed.

Yeah. Because you're going to pull out your mace gun, and the other person's going to be like, oh, shit, he got a gun? I got to pull out my gun. And he's going to shoot you. But if you shoot first, that motherfucker not getting his real gun. He won't be able to see you. Oh, they already made my idea. Fucking hacks.

Damn. That's fire. Nah, but once you see the orange shit, I know that's not. No, no, no. Yeah, but then you still get to. They got this one? Yeah. If see the orange shit i know that's not no no yeah but then you still get they got this one if i see that i know it's nothing i'm talking about flare gun i'm 100 i'm not scared you think a flag's gonna pop out what do you mean that's a gun that's a gun that's just stupid i'm not afraid you're not afraid of that no no you are so looks like you're stranded on an island you want a fucking plane to come rescue you. Yeah.

That's what I'm saying, dude. Like, if you pull that out, someone pulls that out on you on the train, you're not a little afraid? At first, but second at least, bro. At least half a second, but I'm going to see you with that. Here's the thing with mace, you just shoot right away. Yeah, that's the thing. If you pull it out, you got to spray.

Yeah, this is not something. You got to let your shit off. Because you're not killing them anyway. It's burning their eyes. I'll be honest. I don't think you gotta let it out. You gotta. You have to.

Why not? The reason why you don't have to is, I think, displaying it. If that person has been maced before, they're not coming near you. If they haven't, they've seen videos of people getting maced, and they're on the ground,

watering the eyes, et cetera. I think showing the mace is going to be very similar to gun. That knife shit, you're fucked. You're fucked. I thought we were talking about this mace gun. Oh, okay, my bad, my bad, my bad. But if he takes this out, you got to use it because if they got a gun, you're dead. Oh, that's what you mean.

Yes, 100%. Yeah, no, I agree. And just use it anyway. You're not going to kill them. You're just going to burn their eyes. You can't open a box with this. So it's like what you mean. Yes, 100%. Yeah, no, I agree. And just use it anyway. You're not going to kill them. You're just going to burn their eyes. You can't open a box with this. So it's like, you know. I have something in LA, the Taser Pulse, the one that shoots out the little prongs.

Don't sleep on a box cutter, bro. That shit took down the American government for a couple days. Middle East won with a box cutter. I feel like you guys are not giving that enough credit. What is your self-defense? On September 12th, they had to throw all ours out, and motherfuckers were coming looking for them in our house. Really?

Nah, but it sounded funny. You don't remember when they sent the dispatch team to go to Indian House? He had so much trouble in school because of this fucking 9-11 shit. You believe that, bro? Hell yeah, I believe it. Nah, bro, he's been lying.

I went to school in Texas. He's trying to get sympathy, dude. This guy doesn't even remember 9-11. You don't even remember what he went through. Remember when you were making that clock in school and they got so upset about that? Ah!

Do you remember that shit? Ah! Ah! Yo, that was such a funny ass. Wasn't that... And then people were so scared to be like, yeah, it's weird.

My man's making a TikTok thing in the fucking school. Yeah, you want to talk about being right when everybody says you're wrong. I remember Andrew being like... Kick him out. Yo, fuck this kid. I was like, Andrew, you didn't fucking mind?

And then he was on Twitter, you know, arguing with everybody. So I texted him, I'm like, what the fuck are you doing, man? And then he sent me a picture of this shit, and I was like, yeah, you got that one. Them teachers were being polite to that little crazy motherfucker. And you know what happened? His family got a whole bunch of money in the lawsuit, and then they moved to Qatar or some shit. Yeah, they milked it, bro. Fuck that whole family.

Fuck that kid. That's your fucking clock. Get out of here, bum. And he didn't even make a clock. What time is it? Tell me what time it is right now. He pulled apart a clock and then just put it together like that. It's not like he built it from scratch. He deconstructed it. How'd you guys do your fucking science experiment?

It wasn't a science experiment. Nobody asked him to make the fucking clock. He just came to school like, yo, look what I got, this TikTok shit. One of the teachers was like, yo. One teacher came up to him and was like, yo, people are gonna think that you got a bomb even though I know you don't got a bomb. And the kid was like,

oh no. Exactly. He's like, yeah. Also, a science experiment for school has to have hypothesis. What's his hypothesis? I bet if I built some shit that looked like a bomb, I'm going to get to go to Harvard. Also, one of his parents had already sued for discrimination before. It was a social science experiment.

I actually kind of like this. Fuck this kid's parents more than fuck this kid, but fuck this kid's parents. I like the whole family. They're getting over all this system. They know what this is going to do. Fuck this kid's parents more than fuck this kid, but fuck this kid's parents. I like the whole family. I like the family. They're just like, yo, they're getting over all this system. They know what this is going to do. Yeah, I'm going to overreact.

Boom, we get a nice payday. Ahmed Mohamed. And we out. How the fuck you name your kid Ahmed Mohamed? That's already suspicious. They need that. Ahmed Mohamed? Come on.

On September 14th. Two first names? Oh, if they did it on 11th, that would have been fine. He was arrested on September 14th. That was the day Oh, if they did it on 11th, that would have been fine. He was arrested on September 14th. That was the day that he did it though, right? Okay, yeah. Hold on, let me do the math here. 14th is Monday.

13th is Sunday. 12th is Saturday. 11th is Friday. He could have done it on Friday. Could have done it on Friday. To his credit, you need it on Friday. He didn't finish building his fake clock. Fake clock.

I mean, that's crazy. All right, what else we got, Marquitie? I mean, that was crazy. What else we got? Oh, there was a plane that got diverted. Oh, I thought you were talking about the gender reveal. Oh, that one. That video, that video is crazy.

That one is crazy. That video is crazy. Do you want to talk about that one? Yo, you got to see this shit. Oh, fuck me. It's a girl. Celebrating and shit. But then they keep on celebrating.

That's the craziest part. Son, how do the wings just snap? Floppy. I mean, what happened snap? Floppy. I mean, didn't play. What happened there? The pilot died. One of you nerds explain this shit to me. What the fuck, bro?

Miles. I think he just pulled some Gs too hard, bro. Mm-hmm. Oh. So he's coming down. He does an immediate pull-up. He pulls up. Don't act mocked, 10.

At least. You know what the fuck he is. Don't act mocked, 10. He said, you ready? He's going to shake the hand, and that was it. Yeah. Wow, dude. What the fuck?

That shit just, that's like a paper plane. Yeah. It kind of looked like he could have landed it, though. He died? Yeah, he unfortunately passed away at the hospital. That sucks. But also, it's like, enough with these gender reveals, bro. This is a lot.

This one is a lot nah I mean I feel like people doing shit like this almost wanted to go wrong to have a viral moment like we've seen enough

that if you're still doing this you're a dickhead yeah forest fires you know what I mean like how many people need to die with these gender reveals

one life causes that many deaths that's crazy yo what was the forest fire one what was it somebody did a gender reveal that had like fireworks

or some fucking something like that. California, right? It caused a massive fire. There's multiple. There was another one too that was a separate fire incident. Yeah.

Cut the fucking cake. See what the color icing is. Have a cute intimate thing with your family, right? Yeah. Losers? There was also another plane crash in Mexico

that was a gender reveal in 2021. Get out of here. Killed the pilot and the co-pilot. I'm telling you, you're doing it at this point, you're doing it on purpose. You want some shit to go wrong. That's why they were celebrating.

They probably want a son. It's a Mexican family. They wanted a daughter. Get out of here. I don't believe that shit for one second. Just saying that. It was because it's a girl. She can't even be trans if she wants to, bro. It's like... You know what I mean? Someone died for you to be a girl. You better stay that. Yeah. You know what I mean? Fuck. for you to be a girl. You better stay there. Yeah.

You know what I mean? Fuck. I mean, the fact that I'm a girl killed somebody, so I have to be. Oh. Do you think the pilot saw this girl, he was like, fuck. Fuck. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's like another fucking bitch in this place.

Yeah, man, that's fucking crazy. All right, one more, and then we got to get out of here. R.I.P. pilot. That sucks. Yeah, R.I.P. The other plane story is crazy. Yeah. Which one? The diarrhea guy? yeah man that's fucking crazy alright one more and then we gotta get out of here RIP pilot that sucks the other plane story is crazy yeah which one the diarrhea guy yeah the diarrhea diversion hijack hijack fuck

this guy flying from Atlanta to Spain transatlantic flight out of Atlanta in like an hour into the flight they have to turn around cause there's a passenger on the flight with explosive diarrhea that has basically created a biohazard into the flight, they have to turn around because there's a passenger on the flight with explosive diarrhea that has basically created a biohazard on the flight.

Did you go to Spain this weekend? That's what I'm saying. They didn't try pouring coffee down the fucking... Depositing diarrhea around the plane became a biohazard. They had to turn around. So he was just shitting outside of the bathroom? It's not exactly confirmed, but people are thinking that he destroyed the bathroom. Shit all over just shitting outside of the bathroom? It's not exactly

confirmed, but people are thinking that he destroyed the bathroom. Shit all over the bathroom. Part of it leaking out the bottom. And then as he's going back and forth to the seat, he's eventually dropping shit throughout the plane in certain spots, is what people are claiming through the New York Post. This is some foosie shit.

Like, that's crazy. Yeah. That's legit crazy. But also, maybe it's just his tummy hurts. Nah, this crazy motherfucker keeps it in the bathroom at least. Yeah, I can get hit the ball. But his tummy didn't hurt that bad. It hurt pretty bad. But you've never shit on the ground, though? Because it hurt that bad?

I have shit on the ground. That's my point. So you've had really, really bad, and you've had very bad where your tummy hurts, but you keep it in the bathroom. Well, you don't need to shit on the ground if the toilet's right there. Yeah, but what if it's a little far away? You've got to get over people and you've had very bad where your tummy hurts but you keep doing it. Well, you don't need to shit on the ground if the toilet's right there. Yeah, but what if it's a little far away? You've got to get over people and you have explosive diarrhea.

No, you just go to the toilet and you shit there. That's my point. You've never had explosive diarrhea. I don't think this is real. I don't think that's real. According to the pilot,

it says there was feces all over the aircraft. Not possible. Yeah, this is a crazy person and he was going crazy. Yeah, this is... Or maybe it was a monkey. Don't shoot around. Yeah, yeah a monkey. Don't shoot around.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't do that. Come on. It's disgusting. That's disgusting. Why? Wow. Chimpanzee, my bad.

It's really disgusting. My bad, my bad. That was very insensitive to monkeys. All that to say, explosive diarrhea is a real thing. I acknowledge that it's real. Unlike you, that's denying that it exists. I'm an explosive diarrhea denier. Is that what you're saying?

I've had explosive diarrhea to where I couldn't wait. I couldn't hold it. And it happened. And it got all over me. Where? At a soccer game. You were just nervous. No.

It was in the middle of the game. Have we heard this story before? I've never heard this one. You shit yourself? In a game. When? I was a young boy. I was simply a boy. How old were you?

Is this why you had to be homeschooled? Because you... Part of the reason. I was exiled. You couldn't be in school as a kid and shit all over his leg at a soccer game? Yeah. During a free kick? And then my mom told the school that I died. But didn't your mom actually help you out? She did help me out.

Wait, wait, wait. This is sick. I want to hear from mom. He's going to tell the real story. No, I don't fully remember. But I remember his mom like saying bail him out. He always bails him out. I know.

Why do you always bail him out? He's such a shit friend of mine. He really bothers me. Right? She like told the coach that something else happened. I don't really know who was agreeing with who there. Anyway. Go on.

What did she do? She told the coach, like, something else happened? Yeah. So basically, in the middle of the game, I had to leave the game because I had to go shit, and I couldn't make it to the bathroom, and so it just got everywhere. And then my mom was like, oh. Everywhere where? Like, on the field as soon as

I saw the toilet just happened so like the steps leading into the bathroom and then all over It looked like you were doing brown legs. It looked like you were doing some racing shit. Yeah. It looked like Burning Man. He was doing a staggy leg. It looked like Burning Man. It looked like I had just returned home from Burning Man.

It looked like I got picked up in a truck with Chris Rock and Diplo. It was truly crazy. No one had seen that before. Oh, God. I was probably like nine. So how did your mom protect you? So my mom came and she was like, oh, God. She was like flummoxed.

She'd never seen that before. It's amazing you still played soccer after that. What? Scar you from playing soccer forever? protect you so my mom came she was like oh god she was like flummoxed she couldn't she never still played soccer after that scar you from playing that's the thing no one knew what happened i kind of went to the coach was like hey got a dash and he was like all right you didn't say got a dash of shit on the floors of the bathroom and i was like dude like i have to leave i have to go and so i like came off and like he got a sub on and then i just left and like kind of just phased out and then i went all over the ground and basically none in the toilet which is harder to do than what i did i think and then my mom came up was like this is crazy she picked me up got me like a towel from the car like wrapped me and like left all the clothes in the my uniform in the bathroom it's

like you had an ass period yeah she wrapped you in the towel yeah yeah literally and then we got in the car we drove we got clothes, and then she was like, we're not going back to camp. That's it. And I was like, okay. And then she was like, I'll cover.

And then she kind of told the coach that there was a family emergency. And that we had to leave at a certain time, and I got his attention and that we had to go, and then he left. You don't think he heard

that some kid shit all over the floor in between? You believe that? Your jersey was left there with the number on the back of it. Yeah. Trash, though. The very bottom of the trash can.

Okay, okay. Never to be seen again. Wait, the homeschool start before or after this? That's what I'm saying. I'm pretty sure it started after this. It had to start after. No, no, no. You didn't want to show your face again.

It was before. That's why I wasn't good at using the bathroom. I was homeschooled this whole time. I never had to hold it. That's true. So that was part of the problem. I've never had Why are you holding your head so hard? It's a beautiful story.

People get diarrhea. It's a real thing. Not like that. I have celiac. I have dairy sensitivities. One time in your life and never again? I learned. I grew from it. I don't know what happened. I was like a vaccination. I kind of had one bad experience. What was happening on the field?

Did you feel it coming? You're like, no, I can keep playing. Yeah, I mean, I felt bad the whole day. I felt nauseous. My stomach was hurting. I probably scored goals. I can't even really remember that part. I think I was playing pretty good.

I was running fast. I mean, my legs were black. But yeah, I was doing good, I think. And then my diarrhea ruined it. That's part of the reason I didn't play college ball, I think, was legs were black, but yeah, I was doing good, I think. And then my diarrhea ruined it. That's part of the reason I didn't play college ball, I think, was partially that day. I think if you look at my record, it's like a couple goals short. I think it was that half of a game that I had to get subbed off for. And it was a family emergency, so my mom didn't lie.

Yeah, my son shit himself. You should have told the truth to get you out of it. Yeah. I wish I had a knife at that time. Maybe things would have been different. I would have been able to defend myself. You would have stabbed yourself. You guys have never had childhood diarrhea?

Why are you guys acting like I'm the only one with a diarrhea? I shot myself on a bike. I told you guys that. And you kept on riding? You shot yourself on a bike? Yeah. And you kept pedaling? Did it roll off the fucking tire? It came out on a down push, my left leg. I remember I pedaled down like that, and it shit right, came out. It hit my underwear that were baggy underwear.

It wasn't like tight ones. And then some of it fell out down my leg. Into the chain? Onto the boardwalk, yes. And no, chain is on the right side of the bike, right? Yeah. Yeah, so left pedal. And then it fell on the boardwalk.

Yeah, I know what that feels like. But that seems much better. That seems like a deposit. You know what I mean? Yeah, because you kept it moving. Well, I went to my friend's house. It was like right up the block, and I went into his bathroom. And I didn't flush my underwear.

I fucked up there. I wrapped the shit that was left in the underwear, and I just put it in their garbage in the bathroom. And they called my parents, and they were like, did Andrew shit into his underwear and then leave it in the house? Fucking snitch it? Why would they snitch? If you tried to flush it, it would have got stuck. Yeah, it would have clogged

the toilet. Exactly. So it was kind of the right thing to do, but I should have taken it with me. Put it in the top tank thing.

Nah, take it with you. That would have been a good idea. They would have still found out, buddy. I don't know how all that works. Is this a white people thing?

Oh, you've never shit? You've never shit yourself out? I mean, I've shit stains in my underwear many times, but... You've shit stains? That's... I've never done that. I've never shit stains. That's just Tuesday. No, you've never shit? You've never shit yourself out? I mean, I've shit stains in my underwear many times, but... You've shit stains? That's... I've never done that. I've never shit stains. That's just Tuesday. No, I've never... No one, not everyone has shit stains, but I can't believe you've never

shit yourself out. You've never had a shit stain? You've never shit yourself out? I've sharted a couple times, for sure. Yeah. I've sharted. I'll tell this story. Like, coming back from Philly, and I had, like, the spicy Thai... No, you said you shit on the side of the highway. To me, that's shitting myself. I couldn't make it to a bathroom.

That's the worst. The shit needs to hit your clothing. You shit yourself on your clothing? I've sharted. I've never actually shit myself. On the way to your wedding, I stopped on the side of the highway and had this beautiful, immaculate bowel movement. What did the side look? What?

We were in a car on the PCH. There's not that many bathrooms. I had a bowel movement. We had coffee in the morning. I had to go. And so we pulled off and it was a beautiful, it's like sunrise kind of thing. Where it's like a sort of a side of the highway

looking at the Pacific Ocean. It was immaculate. And that's not shitting yourself. That is actually the preferred way to shit. That's how most of us have shit for most of eternity. Bro, that's India. Yeah. You're talking about it.

That's exactly my point. What is going on here? What's going on? Close calls like everyone, but nope, not me. You've never shit yourself? No, I told you my story. That was bad for me.

You've never shit in the shower and then stomped it down? Oh my God, dude. Get away from me. Guys, this has been episode five. We appreciate you. We love you. We'll see you on the third trip.

Why are you always desecrating showers? Is that why you don't take them? Peace.