Athletico Mince - Ep.99 - Mind Soothing Unit

Episode Date: February 9, 2020

Penguin news, a unident, Crime Files, a Scottish tale, Martin visits Klopp, and the mangos return... Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/athleticomince. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome to Athletico Mints. I hope you are in good spirits and that your grievances have been addressed by those with the authority to do so. Imagine if you will that you are in the queue at the post office. The conversation is sparkling and the queue is moving forward at good speed. Finally you are at the next in line and you strive forward to the counter. And then there is a commotion in the queue and a fat avocado-shaped northern that clearly suffering from early onset Gibson's disease pushes past you in place as a carrier bag of loose change on the counter got your coat on that for me please lake I can't get a grip on it because

me hands is covered in beer and fat yes ladies and gentlemen it's my co-host mr Andrew Dawson oh yeah Mr. Andrew Dawson. Oh yeah. He's here. Go ahead, go on short. Now, oh Mr. Mackermann. You now have gone, oh Mr. Sonland. He's a walking sled sweat plan. Oh my, oh Mr. Sunlund He's a walking slet sweat plan

Oh my Oh Mr. Potato Face made a bread dog Bread dog Drinking his blue alcohol Birds think he's a fat boy All right Andrew I know Robert

I just feared that music though, yeah, that was nice. I wish you could fade life away sometimes, do you know what I mean? Just for a little while, just for a little while. Press, just fading down to you, just into darkness. That's what the lad said in that documentary about Darren Prism when he was on the space. He said that, he said it's just a bit of time out of your sentence. Have you ever been on the space? We've been on the space, yeah, but yeah.

Puprika, on my dry roasted nuts, that's all. I think Puprika is much underused, by... What are you reading? No, I think it's coming back, back into vogue, I've seen quite a bit of it. I had some bars now, they have just a bowl of it. And you know, you can just grate for information. For information, if you need information. They've been listening to information glands

I was in a pub last night that had a shuffle board tournament started at 7 p.m. Right What I don't know what the fuck out there pretty sharpish watch shuffle bar. I don't know They had the board set up. We look like a long board So that's what you do in London. You come down, you go to the nearest pub and just sit there on it. I did, I went to the nearest pub next to the travel lodge that I was in because it did food.

I had a cheeseburger. Oh, you had a cheeseburger. Classy putting a bit of cheese on your beef in it. I took the, I surgically removed the gurgling because who needs that? Oh, who needs vegetables. Listen up though, got to take you up on this. When you walked in today, I had a jaffer cake on the table. And what did you ask me if

it was a macaroon? A macaroon. A macaroon. Yeah. There's no such thing as a macaroon. Are you sure? Yeah, it's not called macaroon. It's macararon. Now they call them Macaron's, don't they? And they're on the bake off in that. Macaron. Have you been lined up to replace to have a thing on the bake off? Is that true? I'd like to do the bake off.

Would you? Yeah. Well, as a boss or a contestant. I just think you don't have to do much, you know? What, the road is just big enough. Oh, you're small talk. Oh, yeah. Don't panic.

Come on, it'll be all right. You wash your hands. Yeah, that's something. So that's yeah, don't panic. Come on, it'll be alright. You want shans? Yeah, that's something. So, that's interesting, isn't it? Now, listen up. I'm going to ask you, if you'd like a name. Right. And I've tried to make them a bit footbally to see if that impresses you, yeah?

Right. Lionel Pressy. Right. Plays a bit like Messi, but closes down defenders quicker. It's a pressy, you see. Wow, that's really good. He has down defenders quicker. It's a presser you say. Wow that's really good. He has a grabs claw. That's better. Mr Clip Clop. That's an idiot. Yeah, Mr Clip Clop. He manages a bit like Yergen Clop. Yeah. But does it in a horse costume? Right. You have a claws all. No, he's got a high, he's got human hands.

You should have hoved, shouldn't he? I think so. What's your answer? No, you can be ready, I got two. I got two for you. Go on then. Randy Tuffernauf, equal parts strong and aroused at the same time. He knows that if he lets one of them outweigh the other,

he'll self-combust. So there's a bit of jetbed here, it's a bit like the film's speed almost. So that's roundy tough enough or the masked form filler. Go on then. If you've got the forms you need filling in but you can't be asked, ale come round, you'll do it for you. Oh right. So pros and cons get your forms filled in but you might cut. You might go knife to cut. Yeah. So I runny tough enough on the master form filler. I think I think I'll take a chance on the master form. You're going to be honest with you. Was it the pen knife that's swung it for you?

It's just a pen knife in it. Let's look at your ass. Look at your ass. Is that does that attack ass attack with pen knives in it? Yeah. You go in the market. Yeah. A cover a market in market in macarach yeah and a creepy figure comes up bang bang bang bang bang bang bang in your ass yeah and it just defleates slightly it defleates slightly blood or anything no blood and you can't sit down for about six months or something yeah so it's good is a quiz for your end all right right it's a little bit sporting right and it's called, pop, buying, clonk, horses, peanuts,

wallet, for whack, ice, oh yeah, fencing, give me just a little more time, time, time, Andrew, I've been to some of the most exclusive sports outfirts in the country

Number one Google searches for each item. Yeah, you're okay. Okay Horse riding hat right ice hockey keepers helmet Fencing helmet Blutton more expensive least expensive. I ain't got a clue I reckon that weirdly the fencing helmet will be the cheapest Okay, and I think the horsey hat will be what was the middle one again ice hockey ice hockey helmet Hott-hats most expensive then ice hockey helmet. Hors hats most expensive, their ice hockey helmet, and then the other thing,

fencing mask. Yeah, you're not right, like. Oh, you bust. Fencing hat, Chaper Stack of Farn 76. Wow, quid. Riding hat, Chaper Stack of Farn 60 pounds 48.

Ice hockey keeper 63 quid. Expensive stuff, Very much, that's why I had no idea about any of them because that's not my realm Well, they don't double in expensive sports. I'll tell you how you cook for them. You have a little bit I don't I don't enjoy it. I like the pause life now if I could if you could you fail me a bit of space I've got a unit dent. Oh In the morning right on the tube on me. We're here. Yeah, so I don't know the fella involved might even be listening Is it guaranteed you only then or do you want it assessing? I think well to me

I think it's a unit then what you're gonna. I said it right So I'm sitting on the tube and then just a little bit weird across to the side There's a fellow wearing sunglasses rear bands. Yeah Any stare in straight ahead Doesn't move his head at all staring straight ahead for 10 minutes and the bloke opposite him is starting to get agitated because I think he thinks this fella's staring at him. And he says, he's staring at me. He's staring at me, no response

from the fella in the sheaths. So he says, you asleep, what's going on? Why ain't got man? So, no response again. So this agitated fellow reaches across Yanks the sunglasses off the fellas head and he got no eyes Where is I should be just skin? Really? Yeah. And then tattooed on the skin it just says they're hydrated.

I think that's a unit, don't I, but yeah. It's nice and unusual. You don't say everything, do you? You do not say that every other day. You're not too reckon. You're giving that the unit, don't say, you live approval. Rubber?

Sealed. Lick stamp send. Stay hydrated. Fuck you now. First thing I did when I got a choke, got bottle of water. Can't be too careful, can you? I think I'd like to do something Andrew? Yeah, we've just don't I don't do much really yet Every um yeah Phil Collins is sent me a sort of like information sort of like Public announcement. Yeah, um, so I'll recognize just as the number one information outlet

Okay, here we go. I'll play it now Hi kids, I'm Phil Collins and this is the sound of my bongos. Listen, I'm sick of some back teeth of car crime on the dumpestates of my beloved London town driving without consent, uninsured drivers, expired MOTs, illegal exhaust systems, it's literally driving me up the wall. Kittie, only Bongo has this run out. And this is why I will shortly be visiting, don't be Bongo's Mac,

this is why I will shortly be visiting these estates with my Bongo Road show. Two hours of intense and melodic Bongo playing, all designed to get the message across that times up on carcrive. So come and see me thrashing the skins and speak to one of your carcrive ambassadors. They will advise you about insurance, car safety, driving courses and all you need to know, a drive drive legal drive safe and drive car crime out of your estate. I'm Phil Collins beep beep. So Phil sent us

that. So if you're here of his road show. CRIME FIRE. WOops. The Gloucester village of Toddington lies 12 miles to the north of Cheltenham, a peaceful and wealthy place that is home to a law-abiding population of some 400. Just behind the high street in a converted chapel is the workshop and salesroom of local nonsense potter Mr. Neal Hunt. The 22nd of May 2018 was to be a dare that neither Mr. Hunt, nor the residents of Tondington would ever forget.

Neal was sat at this desk rubbing at a stain on his brown slacks with a light green sponge. He had split spilt some Icelandic skier pudding onto them and was mumbling under his breath. Fucking foreign yoghats. Could they have made this mug any harder to open? I mean, what's wrong with a fucking lid that you can actually get a grip on? He then noticed the telephone number of a consumer hotline on the side of the ski pot. He rang the number. Yes, maybe you can help me. I just opened one of your muckpots and the force needed to rip off the foil seal was the same as you would need to rip the ear off a sleeping rabbit.

As a result I've spilled your tasteless offering all over my nearly new slacks. What colour? What colour brown of course? I'm not a gender web. So what are you going to do? What are you actually going to do? What do you intend to do to make this right? Now I don't want a replacement pot. I never want to set my eyes on this foreign chod again. You could tell your Icelandic overlords that I'd rather eat some heron todd than this impenetrable, darey sludge now fuck off! At that moment the door to the shop opened and in what the football manager Nigel Pearson.

Hello there, what do you want? Tell me, go and tell me, what do you actually want? I'm after a nice bit of pottery, something humorous and light-hearted, maybe a seal holding a beach ball or a clown garing an old battered suitcase. Well, I'm afraid you've come to the wrong place. I don't produce fruit through this is a serious nonsense pottery. Maybe you should try the Argos catalog on a local boot sale. Excuse me, but do my detector attitude in your voice? Do I sense an indifferent patronizing tone to your words, perhaps suggesting that I am inferior to what you are? Maybe, maybe not, and anyway, what's it to you? I've answered your question and now I'd like you to leave.

Goodbye. Are you looking for a fight? Physical fight. Do you want to fight me? If you do fight me, it is a fight that you will lose because I am an excellent fighter. No, I don't want to fight. What are you, a child?

You don't look like a child, so why are you acting like one? Has your mind turned in on itself and turned into a Todd bun? Go on, get out! At this junction, Pearson grabbed Neil by the scruff of his neck and lifted him clean off the ground. No body, and I mean nobody, like and me, to a child, and let me me tell you if I were a child I would be a child that fights and wins most of those fights the few fights I lose would be against all the children or the parents of children I have just beaten in a fight

and go with me let go of me look I should warn you that my brother owns a sword shop that sells bullet necklaces and the handmade poster-pocalypse Exomby knives. Yeah, but your brother isn't here, is he? And even if he were, he would lose a fight against me because I am the best fighter in the school. Nigel threw Neil against the door of his kiln. Neil slumped down to the floor, his head ringing from the impact.

He looked down to see a long tear in his slacks. Not my slacks, not my fucking beautiful brown slacks. Why is it always little old me? I've donated well over 50 pounds to Michael Ball's donkey charity and I always return my shopping trolley to the covered bay. At this moment into the shop walks Martin Lewis, the money savingsaving expert and busybody. Hello, I've come from my refund on that faulty hedgehog money bank I return to you because the concilette had rough edges, fuck sake, don't you work again. Look, it clearly says in big fucking letters on the website that there is no returns policy on all my nonsense

pieces purchased in the sale, and fucking of. But that's against the long-distance selling regulations of the sale of good act. If you don't refund me, I should be issuing a small claim against you. Quickly then you can log on to how to save the money on a Zoom visit at MartinLewsMyHero.com. Fuck you! Fuck me! Your slice of shite! Do you want to... Sorry, this is Nigel.

Oh, fuck me. You're a slice of shite. Do you want to fight? If you do, it will be a fight you will lose. Our fight at a furious purse, and without thought to injuries, our mere cause, I ask you again. Do you want to fight? Well, uh, what business is it? Too late. We are fighting. Pearson jumped on Martin Lewis and proceeded to pumel him, specifically aiming his punches at the center of his face. When he had finished Lewis was unrecognizable, his face resembled the sick of a person who ate nothing but liver. Ah, fucking...

Ah, Martin Lewis. No, it's just no... No, no. TAR FUCKING HARD! HA FUCKING HARD! TAR! TAKE THAT MART IN LOSE, I'M FUCKING LOVE IT! WHAT A FUCKING BEATING YOU HAVE HAD! And that's for you sir, I will make you the most humerus piece of fruit you've got ever desire,

FOR FREE ON ME! Can it be a clown eating candy floss while having a dump on a melon? THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT IT SHOULD BE! As Nigel carried Lewis out of the shop and dumped him in a skip, Neil was heard to mutter. I'm Neil Hunt and I'm loving my life! Cronforken files. There we go, a lot of heat red towards Martin Lewis there. Well, it only wants to help us.

Oh, but sometimes, sometimes. You're not supposed to pause it though. The letter of the law, fade it. Is it a good time to mention that there's tickets on sale for all life shows that we're doing soon? Is there ever a bad time? There's never a bad time to mention that there's tickets on sale for all live shows that we're doing soon. Is there ever a bad time? There's never a bad time. Some of them are sold out. Unfortunately, but tickets still remain for Birmingham on the 23rd of February. Newcastle on the 6th and 7th of March. Glasgow on the 8th, the March. Edinburgh on the 9th, the March. Liverpool, I think there's a couple left 12th of March.

And there's a few left London 24th and 26th of March. Cardiff, 27th of March. There's a few left London 24th and 26th the march, Cardiff 27th the march, there's a few left there as well. There you go, go chill, go chill. I think it's a good show, yeah. It's an effect bit of fun, isn't it? Yeah, it is a bit of fun. Exhaust in, but you know, it is for you, I mean you got a lot of bulk to... I've got a lot of, I've to come on off the stage a couple of times and you know there's to have to turn around and that's quite intensive sometimes. The whole new that Roy Hutchinson could get up to such great speeds as well. Wow, he does, yeah, he accelerates greatly, doesn't he? Go to our flittercomminz.com for all the dates and ticket links.

Martin from Ones Under the Hammer. Right. He's done what he's doing, he's showing, you know, listen to it. It was a good episode this week. Did you tear it off the rear? Yeah, you know where he looks at the homes of firms, people, associates, and before us. Well, MP3 and before we... I've got it on what's called a zip file.

Oh, Christ. So long zip. The zip that before you've played it. F***ing no. Oh, God. Let's give it a go. Ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, tin. I'm fucking no, let's give it a go Hello everybody that's listening I'm Martin from Horns under the hammer and today I'm having a nose around the horn 101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010 Oh hell, hi, you look so cool. You've been with a lady all night, I guess, for sure. Hey, come in. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha the second hand coat. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Well, I must say, that's a curveball, having a got-my appearance. A bit different, if you don't mind me saying but I like it. So, this must be your living grove.

I say it's arranged a bit like a dungeon, with a huge circular bed, some chains on the wall, and not more shells. It's quite unusual but you know what I like it. You want to tie out the mattress here? For sure, I've had a lot of guests trying out, but never a house hedgehog. Haha, no, it's alright, you're done. I had a nice keeping me van last night. Shall we take a look at your kitchen? Oh this is a bit different. Lots of chemistry equipment. It looks more like a laboratory than a kitchen which is a bit unusual. But I like it. What's that I can smell cooking? Oh that dope cake. It's Roy Hutchins recipe. Really mellow, was handed down to him by Bob

Paisley. It's as funky as the moon's tits. You want to try some? No, I'm okay, thanks. You're good. What about a hug? Come on, let's hug. Let's hug the living shit out of each other and see where it takes us. Come here, hug me my little house hedgehog. No, no thanks, Yorgan. I've just had a full English in the back of me van. I'm full to bust, I mean, Nick is a heavy enough as it is. So this must be the best, the best room.

Y'all, for sure. Ha, ha, ha! And this is might be surprised by the fact that the only thing in here is a huge six-well bath-arfer sponge-bob replica and a metal-bubbed! Very unusual! Do I like it? To be honest, not sure if I do. What's it all about Yegan? Yeah, it's a realization of a flashback I had from the first time I sampled Bob Paisley's dope cake. I keep it like this to remind me to go easy on that stuff.

Well, now I understand. Very sensible indeed. I do, I do, I do I do I do I do I do I do Definitely like it. Thank you Yorgan Club and good luck My my my my my 10 10 10 10 10 There you go The abbreviated end in there very good Do you want some penguin news? Yeah, go on. Oh shit is sin is it? What the penguin news is in I have gotten. Oh shit, it's in, is it? What? The penguin news is in. I haven't gotten it. I just wondered if you wanted it.

I do want some. Yeah. Right, well I haven't gotten it by trying to get some for the next time. Oh you. I'm a fucker. I was just sounding out, say something you'd be interested in. Got some questions from your kids if you want them. Got them. Right, you just find them here. Yes. What's the biggest thing you've ever driven, Bob I drove a replica of the A-Team Van,

or once we know, a filming. Wow, it's not that big, but I think it's a big big oven. Slightly oversized transit. Yeah, sort of transit painted with the A-Team on it. What project was that for? For shoot stars. Didn't make it to the screen then. Yeah, did it with that funny. Oh, we had already could between us.

Right. It was shame to say. If you don't be there, if you're sad, we'll start pushing and pulling you. Oh, that was the airtapes catchphrase, wouldn't it? How have you got any advice for the podcast listeners? Yeah, Wayne Andy is asking me these questions, he uses the third option.

Not my questions, I think that's quite a road. These are the questions of children. When was the last time you were searched? You know the third children of the future, but whenever I talked, little children, the thickest shit. The fifth future that lies ahead for us, isn't it? When was the last time you were searched?

Properly searched. Properly searched. Not just frisks for one of those magnetic machines. I'll never be. Turn at your pocket minimum. I'll never be. Oh, you must have been searched. That might be searched or something.

Why not, I covered these, but you know, but you know. Proper search, proper goal and all of that. I can't remember that. No. No, really remember that. No. No, sorry. Really? Yeah. Curious answer.

Feels like a lie. Never mind, there we go, that's the questions for me, kids. Thank you for them. Well, you can have some wives' questions. All right then. Bang! Of the law, will council ever try to serve an enforcement notice on your underpants?

No. Next question. Do you ever use your air fryer as a prewash for your underpants? No. Next question. After your underpants your air fryer as a pre-wash for your underpants? No. Next question. After your underpants have become too tarnished, do you give them to your dog to eat? Fuck. You do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do The Trice message is coming from Tony Fernandez. Oh nice. The format's on a blessed he things. What does that look like? It's a WAV.

WAV? It's a WAV. He's vlogging something I think. Yeah, I was. Hi, I'm Tony Fernandez, millionaire owner of the Queen's Park Rangers. And this is the sound of my new electronic mind soothing unit. I don't know about you guys but I'm sick up to my fat neck of all the mental stress things I had and general dreariness in the world. People got a lot to be less uptight and more in tune with their positive vibrations. With

my mind soothing you will achieve equilibrium and well-being within seven days. It's a no-money back guarantee's situation that only losers would decline. All details can be found at www.MindCreamery.com. Or else now and get happy. Remember, life's too short to be a dope. Ah, nice. So he's vlogging a mind-what? It's like a not-using it. A noise, just soothe your mind. Soothe your mind, yeah.

Good stuff. Hey, I've got a bag here full of shit from charity shops. All right, nice one. I'm a dip-it-with. Go on, dip-it-with. So, random dip-it-up. Dip-it-up into Andy's bag of shit.

Dip-it-up into Andy's bag of shit. dip dip into and these bag of shit right randomly pull it a record that's a monthly pay the one that's quite boring another one I'll do maybe two more and then we'll just not put on the end this is yes shaving shaving cream by Benny Bell have you listened to I haven't listened to it I would go record blue with is obviously but 12 inch record album and it includes it's got Benny Bell in the front Is having a shave and it includes shaving cream your from a bail song Everybody likes my funny The tattooed lady

Wearing in the water and a goose for my girl among among others. And you meant to play them whilst you shaved? I don't know. He's from New York, apparently. I might put a bit of that in the next episode of Pitter-Won-A-Lay. Oh, could you, because it's intriguing. Isn't it? That's why I bought it. I thought, what the hell is that going to be like? Anyway, there you go. That's me bag of shit.

And that was the best thing in your bag of shit, Andrew. It was a randomly selected thing. And that was the best thing in your bag of shit, Andrew. It was a randomly selected thing. ["The Rally of the Rally of the Rally of the Rally of the Rally of the Rally of the Rally of the Rally of the Rally of the

Rally of the Rally of the Rally of the Rally of the Rally of the Rally of the Rally of the Rally of the Rally of the Rally of the Rally of the Rally of the Rally of the Rally of the

Rally of the Rally of the Rally of the Rally of the Rally of the Rally of the Rally of the Rally of the Rally of the Rally of the Rally of the Rally of the Rally of the Rally of the Rally of the

Rally of the Rally of the Rally of the Rally of the Rally of the Rally of the Rally of the Rally of the Rally of the Rally of the Rally of the Rally of the Rally of the Rally of the Rally of the Rally of the Rally of the Rally of the moment of it. I think they're all in line. Oh good are they all pointing towards baby Jesus and the corrupt fashion. I think so. How many of them? Three. Three, not enough that should be ten. Including the invisible ones in that little studio. Ten shackles, please do try harder. I will do sorry, go ahead. I was thinking about you the other day and I was wondering, I was worried. I was thinking about you the other day and I was wondering I was worried I was wondering do you have a nice car robot? Yes, nice enough cover it a while, but very nice very nice is it yeah, it's quite pricey

I imagine it would have been original Does it have a very smooth ride? Yes, I thought you'd be the kind of man who'd like a smooth ride. That, my friend, could be very problematic. Well, could be the smooth ride. Too smooth and you could find yourself slipping into a trance while you're on the road. Very, very bad. I mean, that's never happened, but it will soon, I think. I feel it will. I think what I need to do to improve your prospect yeah I will come around and take your car swap which for my 1992 Percil 205 okay you can have that just for a week okay just for a week or so

okay maybe 203 and I'll take your lovely smooth ride car and look after it. You look after it, that's true. So I'll come around on Thursday at about 7.30 a.m. Okay. We're at 2.00 early? No, that's fine. Okay. Because that's when I'm coming.

I'll bring my brother. I'll bring my brother in case there's any trouble. It's your brother, Guru. You don't need to know about him. But he'll be there. Okay. So don't try anything. Okay, I'll see you there. I'll put some good CDs in the glove'll be there. Okay. Well, don't try anything. Okay. I'll see you there.

Something. Put some good CDs in the glove box, please. Okay. What'd you like? Ruggaay. Just Ruggaay. Yes. Only Ruggaay. Okay. Okay. Go over here. Glovers rock. Lovers rock. Okay. Okay. Looks like that. Good. Thank you. I will fading away now. I was going to go slowly. Oh, I think so returning. Hi, Andy. Hello. What? Guru is just saying. Yeah, he's, he's, I didn't thought of it. I just was just putting me, yeah, me, me Benny Bell record back in the back. But again, the Guru came along. Wow. He's going to, there was a real favour, Macara, I was just to the rides too so yeah yeah yeah yeah

something it's got a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a rat turbulence like yeah so he's gonna start that up for me that's good he's a good man he's a good I've been watching out on telly and robar where you know what I haven't been I haven't been almost inside of it but I've been doing some top-flight time machine life sure around the land really good Everyone's in my light them. They're gonna do some more so I'm I'm I literally don't know what day it is Where I am, well it's Thursday telly's a mystery the I tell you what there's a new Netflix one It's got Jennifer Saunders in it and I can't quite remember the name the player or the secret or the

Something I'm gonna come to get it and just Google Netflix don for so-and-a-save it comes up Trump's. The stranger. The stranger. Yes I've seen people writing about that. That's a good thing then. That's okay. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. It's kind of a recommendation that I support. Kind of. I watched the Bronx Tale again. Alright, yeah. That was a nice little. Did they directed that, didn't they? They directed that, it's a nice little film. Yeah, did you mention the Irishman?

Have we spoken about the Irishman? I think we have it, it is. Yeah. Yeah, it's all right, innit? I enjoyed it a lot. Did you enjoy it a lot? Like all that stuff. You just like looking at old people.

Yeah, I've got a Scottish Tale, Andrew. Well, we should have that probably. On the Lerid's Island, there are three rules that have transgressed, lead to a certain and untimely death. Firstly all male children on their 18th birthday must enter the servitude of the Laird and spend that days toiling in the minds that run beneath the Isle. Secondly all female children must on their 18th birthday enter into the service of the

Lair that is castle on the high stoop. Whether male or female, they would be released from their duties on their 30th birthday to live out the rest of their lives on the island and provide the Lair with new offspring for his designs. Thirdly, no person must ever leave the island. On the day of his 30th birthday Colin Samuels was released from service and returned to his now empty childhood home. He was immediately struck with a steely result to escape and make a new life on the mainland. Every day for the next five weeks he would walk down to Daloxcove and swim in the open water till his car strength was enough to make the five-hour crossing to Friedham. Each day he would use the slingshot he had fashioned from the fan belt of the Lambert-Artskutte

that had fallen from the sky until the island to kill a geese that grazed on the skier above the cove. He would feverishly devour their flesh and their grease and a desperate attempt to provide warding and fuel for his escape. He guessed he might well have increased his weight by some three or four stone. Then the day came, and just as the sun was rising, he set off on his journey. He made good progress only burdened by his waterproof backpack in which he carried a set of clothes and a block of goosefart. Six hours later he stepped onto the mainland and made his way to the public convenience to glow then dry his person. Then on the high street, to gaze in wonder, the delights on offer. First was a shop called the range.

Duporware boxes, juttors, bill-flower vases, numerous storage solutions, it was all he could do not to blow his entire savings, especially when he chanced across a two-pack, a two-pack of pale brown-fitted sheets at a remarkable 499. Then he strode across the way to Temptson's shoe and key-cut in bar. You must all love work in here, he said to the assistant. What with all the faster evolving machinery and the bright shiny key-blanks, it's a wee portion of heaven wouldn't you say. I'll have no of the piss taken out of me at the start of a double-shift fuck off, laddie, for a spray this heel adhesive-fall into your mouth."

Taken aback, he sought refuge in the calm and luxurious setting of Custer Coffee. As he orders his drink, he noticed a lassie seated by the window in a light macintosh in a bum bum hat. Goll invented that she must be a movie star or successful dancer, such was the beauty in her eyes. Goll in approach to her and inquired us to the availability of the adjacent seat. I, its free, Mr. I have no offense to you seating yourself by me. I have no been on oeddwn i'r gweithio. Mae'r gweithio yn ymwyr i'r gweithio yn ymwyr i'r gweithio yn ymwyr i'r gweithio yn ymwyr i'r gweithio yn ymwyr i'r gweithio yn ymwyr i'r gweithio yn ymwyr i'r gweithio yn ymwyr i'r gweithio yn ymwyr i'r gweithio yn ymwyr i'r gweithio yn ymwyr i'r gweithio yn ymwyr i'r gweithio yn ymwyr i'r gweithio yn ymwyr i'r gweithio yn ymwyr i'r gweithio yn ymwyr i'r gweithio yn ymwyr i'r gweithio yn ymwyr i'r gweithio yn ymwyr i'r gweithio yn ymwyr i'r gweithio yn ymwyr i'r gweithio yn ymwyr i'r gweithio yn ymwyr i'r gweithio yn ymwyr i'r gweithio yn ymwyr i'r gweithio yn ymwyr i'r gweithio yn ymwyr i'r gweithio yn ymwyr i'r gweithio yn ymwyr i'r gweithio yn ymwyr i'r gweithio yn ymwyr i'r gweithio yn ymwyr i'r gweithio yn ymwyr i'r gweithio yn ymwyr i'r gweithio yn ymwyr i'r gweithio yn ymw some lodges. I am a well-nurved room that's available at that moment, though as he stood and removed her macintosh, complaining over the coffee sweats. As she did so, two bolders of free-range Scottish tit revealed themselves. Ok, my word, lass, you plenty tit to spare. You'd

surely need a rope ladder to clamber from one to the other. I, there's a surplus there that no accountant could hide nor disguise. I'll give my friend a ring to check on the availability of the lodgings. Hello Douglas, I have a chap here interested in the room that you have. I, seems nice enough, about 21 stone. I, Oki, never mind. She turned to column. I'm afraid it's a no. And why might that be? A oce, nieu'r m'ind, siu turn to column, am y fredd i'r sain o'n wneud. A'n wneud i'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m'indu'r m' London was not for him. How I run a key thought that the high fat diet that had facilitated

his escape was to be a curse upon its success. Just as that thought left his head, he felt a thugging on his trousers, that tripped him and left him laid on the pebbles. Glancing to his side, he saw that it was the lords' attack otter, MacGilth, placing a curved blade against his neck. But it was not the blade that killed him. He died the moment his eyes set focus on MacGilth, for he had the face of David Moise, the face of David Mies And that boys and girls is the Scottish deal Wonderful, I quit before we go Do you remember those one really?

Mangos we used to hear from Oh yeah, a little bit more from them Two large mangoes off down to the pub Two large mangoes going to get some grub Ordered halloumi burgers with extra chips, To large mangoes scheming little shits, To large mangoes pull out to dead boughs, To large mangoes trying to get dinner on the house.

Manage a spot to what they're up to and brings out his pan. To large mangoes, Bam, bam, bam! There we are. Gashed mangoes, but they've got regenerative powers, as we know, so they might be back. Yeah, sorry, I just got to take this call, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, hi Colin, whoa!

Yeah, I love that pinky blindness cap, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, makes you look like you once once did have an idea yeah oh no no it's just for Raffles Cole don't get all chef Ramsay on me Cole so I'm sailing the rails on the outskirts of London yeah super beer yeah just got an e-plop from Jeff Linton oh yeah he's a heavy lift of shure the say place the point on the top of the shard yeah yeah Carrie did up on his back and then just randered into the slot. Anyway, he wants a virtual ping pong with us about the Valentine's Day Heart Shapes Salami bites. Yeah, great news, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, so look, have a

can petucci on me, Cole. You are as always a disgruntled pug. Yeah, yeah, always a disgruntled pug yeah yeah ciao and of course Bella Fabricato see you cult oh there we are thanks for listening everyone back soon see you bye Thank you.