BigDeal - #68 The Step by Step Guide to Making Money: From Broke to Millionaire - Lewis Howes

Episode Date: May 21, 2025

In this episode, Codie and Lewis delve into the intricate relationship individuals have with money. They touch on practical strategies for setting financial goals, mapping out plans, and monetizing hidden skills. They also discuss the importance of financial education in fostering a healthy relationship with wealth. To get help scaling your business to the next level, you can reach out to my team right here: https://contrarianthinking.typeform.com/boardroom-mc Want help scaling your business to $1M in monthly revenue? ⁠Click here⁠ to connect with my consulting team. Chapters 00:00 Understanding Your Money Story 02:52 The Emotional Connection to Money 05:47 Levels of Financial and Emotional Wealth 09:00 Practical Steps for Financial Growth 11:49 Healing Money Wounds 15:01 The Relationship with Money 17:59 Transforming Your Money Mindset 21:02 Creating a Healthy Money Dialogue 23:56 The Power of Money Conversations 35:40 The Pursuit of Money and Emotional Freedom 38:01 Understanding Personal Values and Money Goals 41:49 Healing and Money: The Connection 42:18 Generosity as a Mindset Habit 54:00 Mapping Your Financial Goals 56:25 Monetizing Hidden Skills and Assets 58:17 The Importance of Financial Education 01:00:14 Building Self-Worth and Confidence in Money Matters 01:02:04 Gender Perspectives on Money and Investment 01:09:22 Conclusion: Embracing Your Money Journey MORE FROM BIGDEAL: 🎥 ⁠YouTube⁠ 📸 ⁠Instagram⁠ 📽️ ⁠TikTok⁠ MORE FROM CODIE SANCHEZ: 🎥 ⁠YouTube⁠ 📸 ⁠Instagram⁠ 📽️ ⁠TikTok⁠ OTHER THINGS WE DO: 🫂 ⁠Our community⁠ 📰 ⁠Free newsletter⁠ 🏦 ⁠Biz buying course⁠ 🏠 ⁠Resibrands⁠ 💰 ⁠CT Capital⁠ 🏙️ ⁠Main St Hold Co⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You got to get clear. In the next three months, how much do you want to make? Today is probably the most tactical blueprint on making your first dollars and completely changing the way you interact with money. And it's with my friend Lewis House. He is a multiple-time New York Times best-selling author. He runs one of the biggest podcasts in the world called School of Greatness. We all have a money story.

If money doesn't heal who you are, it reveals who you are. And until you learn to heal, then it's just going to reveal. It is therapy, but it's a different type. Most people have an emotional reaction with money. 47% of Americans die broke? And why? You got to heal your money wounds. Even a man, I want to hear this.

Hi, I'm Cody Sanchez, and this is the Big Deal podcast. I have struggled with this question for the better part of a decade. What do I tell people who don't have money, who have a bad relationship with money, who don't know how to go further with money? But I think today, for the first time ever, I just heard how to make money even when you have $0,000, and how to start exactly where you are with what you've got. I was shocked when I started learning about this book because I think most humans will not be able to make money, not because they don't have the tactics, but because you don't actually know how you feel about money and thus money doesn't know how it feels about you. So if today you feel like you need more money in your life, you should

absolutely listen to this episode. Grab a pen, grab a peeps of paper, be prepared to pause it and take some notes because this is going to be an episode you were going to want to listen to multiple times. I remember when I first met you, you immediately, I barely knew you, and you were like, hey, what do you need? How's that going? Oh, yeah, do that? Don't talk to that person, actually. Do you think that half of your success is actually due from just you being this connector

and giver? Is that the secret to us? Trying to help other people achieve their goals and dreams. That's what I've kind of done since the beginning. And that's one of my gifts or talents. And so I try to lean into that and be a generous giver of my talent. Some people might have a lot of money. That's their talent.

Okay, how can I give more of that thing? And that's just my gift. And this really, I think there's four different ways of living life with or without money. And the first way, and I've lived all four of these. And the first way is what none of us want to live, which is being broke financially and broke emotionally. When I was 24, 25 on my sister's couch, I had no money, three credit card. I was living off of student loan debt, and I wasn't generating any money. So I was financially broken and kind of like spiritually, emotionally broken as well,

because my dream had been crushed from getting injured as an athlete. My identity was gone. I was living on my sister's couch. I was like, I'm a grown man acting like a child, you know, taking care of my sister. Too big for a couch, too. Exactly. It was, and it was just like I was broken financially and emotionally. and I wasn't sure what I was going to do next.

I had no clear game plan. So it was just kind of wallowing in depression, victimhood, you know, why me? No one wants to live that way. That's the first level. The second level is being financially broke still, but starting to feel more emotionally, spiritually abundant, free, excited. And I started to shift after about a year into thinking, okay, I need to get out of this rut. Let me find some coaches, some mentors.

Let me start learning. let me start overcoming fears. Let me start developing skills. And when I started getting momentum around that, it's like something unlocked inside of me where I had this passion, this drive, this excitement, just like I can take on anything, you know, this kind of fearlessness. So I was starting to feel more rich inside, even though it wasn't paying off externally in the bank account yet. But eventually that momentum started to build into creating financial freedom. After a few years more after this, I remember I made my first million dollars. And it was like, wow, all this excitement, this hustle, this grind, like I was willing to work all day and night and do whatever it took and help as many people as possible, say yes to every opportunity.

I started generating money. And I was like, okay, now I'm making it. But a few years later, I was obsessive about making more and more. I was like, how do I grow? Every year's got to be bigger. That's 10x every year. And there was a point after a few. years where I lost the internal richness and I started to get more afraid, fearful. I started to

feel like everyone was now trying to take advantage of me as opposed to we are working together. People were coming out of the woodwork from middle school who saw I had money and now asking me for money. So it didn't feel good after a while. And it didn't make me feel, it didn't solve all my emotional problems having money. So it was almost like a more change. challenging thing for me because I had this money. I thought it would make me happier and it actually wasn't solving my emotional problems. So I felt more emotionally bankrupt, even though I had money financially. And that's a big challenge because you think, okay, let me go make more, build more, become bigger, better. And it's still not filling me up emotionally. That's scary place to be.

And I was, this is the third level. And I was living in L.A. here, I don't know, five, miles away in an apartment building during 2000, 2001, a really nice apartment building where there were a lot of billionaires, millionaires, celebrities, athletes, all that stuff. And I was driving back one day from a road trip and there was a white tent in the parking lot in the valet. And I said to the valet attendant, I was like, someone didn't jump, did they? Kind of just joking. And he said, yeah, someone just jumped like an hour ago and committed suicide.

from the building I was living in with all these billionaires and millionaires. And I was like, how could someone jump in this building? This is like the nicest building in L.A. And I later found out who that person was who was worth half a billion dollars. A big movie producer, an executive.

But for whatever reason, he wasn't feeling rich emotionally. He had all the money in the world, but something was off internally that caused him to not love himself, not accept where he was at in his life. And that separation of having so much externally, but feeling broken internally can cause a lot of pain for people. You know, having money can solve money problems, but can't solve self-worth problems necessarily.

You can be a net worth millionaire but be bankrupt, you know, and not be a self-worth millionaire. And the goal is to go from level zero, level one to level four, which is becoming financially free. and also becoming emotionally free, spiritually free, rich, abundantly, internally, feeling peace. And most people are stressed with money right now. They're uncertain with the economy. They don't know where their money's coming from next month. If they're going to have a job or not, if their business is going to collapse or not. They don't understand there's so much fear and anxiety.

And so they're crippled by the fear internally. And when we can set ourselves free emotionally around money in general, we're going to be less money's not going to have power over us, whether we're making more or making less, we're still going to feel good with us. And that's the whole reason I wanted to write this book. So true, because increasingly I think peace is the new rich and everyone has everything besides peace. Yeah. You know, if you think about it in the U.S., there are certainly those of us who are still struggling with hunger, certainly those of us that are still in a place where we have massive scarcity. but like people dying of pure starvation in the U.S., not that common.

And so we have a lot, and yet we feel more anxious and like we have less than ever. And at first, I thought you could just fix it by all of us making more money. That was my tactic. Like, let's just go. Let's teach more people how to make more money. You solve money problems. You can, but you realize very quickly that, you know, the guy at the top is oftentimes just as unhappy or maybe more so because he thought on the way up that he was chasing,

happiness. Exactly. And I think we talked about this before. It's like, you know, this is not like a judgment or anything here, but it's, when is enough enough? And we can only strive for more and play the game of, I'm going to make $10 million, $100 million, a billion dollars, cool, whatever. It's fun. But is it doing it because I don't feel enough? Or because I don't feel peaceful and I need to make more? Or is it doing it because this is what I love and I want to like make a big impact on the world, but I feel good with me, whether I make it or I don't. And I think it's getting to that place of being driven by a vision so big or so exciting for you, but not because you need to validate your self-worth. Yeah, it's a great point. I mean, yeah, I think the love of the game

is why a lot of us continue to do it, but it's brutal. I mean, what would you say to, like, a young man out there listening to this right now who, God, kind of feels a little lost, destitute, not making money, maybe not even meeting other people, you know, not in a relationship and married like you newly are, and isn't sure where to go next to get even to from level one to level two, just to start making money. What are the changes you made to do that? And what would a young, broke dude who got a chance to talk to Lewis, what would you tell him? I'd probably say three things, the first three things that came into mind, I would get a physical practice first, like really master your body, because if you're not

feeling confident within yourself, you haven't mastered a routine of rigor or discipline or consistency around some type of working out. And when you master your physical health, or at least you're on a journey of mastering it, doesn't mean you have to have a six-pack or be shredded or anything like that. But if you have a consistent program with that 30 or 60 minutes a day, you're going to feel more empowered because you're taking back responsibility of your own agency. Second thing I would say is find a spiritual mentor. You know, when you're lost, you need a spiritual guide in your life. And if you aren't able to tap directly to God or your belief system of why I'm here, then lean on someone you admire. Find someone you admire.

I don't care if it's a sports coach, a business leader whose follows practices you admire or a pastor or something like that. Find someone that you admire who is the living a life of high values and integrity. Because ultimately, you want to be living that life. You don't want to be living out of integrity because it may be fun for a while, but you'll always hurt people along the way and ultimately hurt yourself along the way. By the way, if you're building a business right now and you're stuck or you want to break out to the next level, maybe you're not where you want to be today. Believe me, I've been there many, many times. I want you to know, I got you. We help thousands of business owners a year figure out how to scale to the next level.

One of my favorite mentor said, every level you have, there's just a higher level and a higher devil. And so if you've been in business for a while and you're doing six, seven or eight figures, there's probably one thing standing in the way of your next level. That's why we host growth and scale workshops four times a year throughout the year in Austin, in Miami, in San Diego, and you may be a fit to come to one of them. If it sounds interesting to you to get help on how to scale your business to the next level, you can reach out to my team at the link. in the show notes. We believe in you builders, but we also believe that it's a lonely road and you can't do it by yourself. And then the third thing I would say is to really study and learn

about money and make it so make money feel relaxing to you. Most people stress out of it. I stressed about it so much because I didn't understand it. And there's still levels that I don't understand today. It's not like I'm a money expert. I'm not an investing expert or budgeting expert. I've learned how to master these things, but it's more about learning how to have conversations around money where it's fun and you're not fearful around it. Because when you're fearful around something, that thing has power over you.

It triggers you emotionally in your nervous system and you're afraid to even just tell people your money situation. Most people talk about their sexual intimacy more than they'll talk about their money situation. And if you're willing to have conversations around, money and just be more flexible and flowing around these conversations, make it more common. You're going to allow the flow for money to come to you. When we are in fear around something, why would we want that thing to come to us?

If we're psychologically, emotionally, afraid of it because we don't understand it, we're ultimately going to push it away. We're ultimately going to block the flow of abundance financially to us when we are in fear of that thing. It's an energy flow. and you have to be willing to receive money and be ready and prepared to receive more. It's actually fascinating.

I've never thought about that before, that people are more willing to talk about their sexual intimacy than money. It's actually really true. Some people are willing to talk about money, but only once you have a ton of it at the top. And then... Even then, people say they don't even reveal

what their money or how much they spend. It's like somewhere in the middle. There's some like amount of bravado, you know, about, and then you like hit the real money amount. You're like, oh, whoops, that's not cool anymore. I shouldn't talk about it. But that's fascinating. Like you've got, I mean, more power to however you want to talk about your sexual intimacy,

but you've got entire podcasts, like call her daddy or whatever. That's really a lot about sex. And there's nobody coming on here talking about money except almost in a shame-based way. Like I like Caleb Hammer, but being like, this was dumb, this was dumb, this is dumb, this is dumb, as opposed to any sort of vulnerability around it. That's fascinating. I just think making it more of a common practice around, hey, this is where I'm at, this is what I'm trying to get to, and being open to having the conversations where it flows more

easily. And is it more curious? Like, what would that look like in practice? Like, Jesse Itzler, for instance. I remember him saying that he would go to the Beverly Wilshire and he would sit in the lunchroom. And he would, like, the cheapest thing that was on the menu. And the reason he would do it is because it would allow him to sit around all these really rich people.

And then he would ask them. Like, he would be like, hey, I don't have a lot of money yet. I'm on my way up. How did you get here? Like, what do you do for a living? And he credits that with his creation of net jets. 100%. Yeah.

And it's just having proximity to those conversations. And I think having them more frequently, even with the people in your life, even if people don't have money, just say, hey, let's talk about this. What are we working on today? What are you struggling with? How much money do you have in debt? Like just talking about it, making it more commonplace. Because the more comfortable you are talking about something, I think the easier it is

to go create that thing. You know, and I really like it because there's a lot of books today talking to us about why money's not important. You know, you don't need money. Money doesn't matter. And I think that happens a lot during recessionary periods. Those books do really, really well. Why?

Because you already don't have it. So if somebody can validate that you don't need it, you're like, that sounds good. I'm on board. Also, rich people suck, you know? Exactly. But if you can write a book that is instead like, hey, you're not net worthed by your net worth. That's not your self-worth. But you can be okay pursuing it, I think is really, really powerful.

100%. If you want to pursue more money, like pursue as much money as you want. It's where is that pursuit coming from? Is it from a need to prove people wrong? Is it coming from a need because you want to validate yourself that you're worthy or you're better than? You're always going to be creating from a sense of scarcity rather than abundance. And when you create from abundance, a emotionally rich place, money can come and go and it's not as stressful. I had a, there was a company about a year and a half ago.

It was so funny because as I was doing the. research for this book and I was writing this book. I hadn't finished it yet. I was like, I'm still not ready to like finish this book. And for whatever reason around this time, there was a company that essentially took a million dollars for me and that didn't pay me. It was meant to pay me and it didn't pay me. And for weeks, I was like, when are they going to pay? What's going on? It feels like they were stealing from me, right? And I was kind of a mess. I was like, it's a million dollars. It's not a small thing. And I felt, more taken advantage of.

It was more the act of abuse and taking advantage of. And I have stories of feeling taking advantage of as a kid and feeling abused from sexual abuse to people stealing money from as a kid, all these different things, picked on. And I go, this is perfect timing, actually. After like two months of stressing about this, I was like, this is all happening for me because this situation triggered a wound inside of me of abuse of being taken advantage of, of a not fairness, right? And it's the exact lesson I still haven't graduated yet. And so after three months of this, I finally was like, you know what, they may not pay.

It doesn't mean I have to love it, but I get to learn that I'm not tied down by what this company does or doesn't do, that I have an abundant sense inside of me. I can go create this money as well. It doesn't mean I have to like this and be like, yay, this was fun. But right now this has power over me. It's consuming me. And I'm living in scarcity. That scarcity is holding me back from being creative, resourceful, and making better decisions. And so once I started doing some healing work around that, I released it and let it go and I stopped worrying about it.

They eventually paid me. And I was like, okay, great. But now this is a lesson knowing that when I'm in scarcity or living in fear around something or frustration, or frustration around something, it's not going to feel good. I'm not feeling abundant when I do this. So how can I shift the energy? It doesn't mean I still have to handle it and take action and do certain things, but how can I shift my energy to know I'm going to be resourceful in other ways

and I'm going to be okay, whether this money comes or they take it from me. And I think that's been a big lesson for me, is learning how to feel peaceful no matter what. It doesn't mean there's not going to be challenge or adversity. but how can I not let something rob me of my piece? Okay, when I sell my business, I want the best tax and investment advice. I want to help my kids, and I want to give back to the community. Ooh, then it's the vacation of a lifetime.

I wonder if my out of office has a forever setting. An IG private wealth advisor creates the clarity you need with plans that harmonize your business, your family, and your dreams. Get financial advice that puts you at the center. Find your advisor at IGPrivatewealth.com. Hard but really important. And again, I keep going back to these millionaires and billionaires who are just overly stressed, overly worked, that are on drugs, suicidal or committing suicide. What's the point of having all the money if you don't love yourself?

If you don't have peace, what's the point then? It's just, it doesn't feel like a rich life to me. Yeah. You know, it's interesting because the hard part, I think, is what is the healing practice to that, right? And, and, you know, in my case, I know when I have something that happens that I don't like, one thing happened this morning. It was literally like, you know what my panic words are, Lewis, if you ever text me, hey, we need to talk, instant panic. I don't know what it, I don't know who texted me that originally and something terrible happened. But I just have some. I go, oh, my God, they're leaving me. We're bankrupt. I don't know. Worst case scenario immediately. Oh, every time. And the only way that I found to get around that at like my level, not at the level I want to be yet, is most people kind of hide from tough conversations. And I usually, when I get those, say, hey, like, let's talk. Yeah. Okay. Like, pick up the phone. Let's have a conversation. What do you want to talk about? You know, or if somebody's like, can we talk but later today or next week up? No, let's do it right now. If you're important enough to like mention the talk,

we probably should have the talk. So that kind of helps because usually it's never as bad as you think it is. And so you can clear it out. But what else do you do to get past this scarcity mindset? What are your practices? You've got to heal your money wounds. And it may sound a little woo-woo. It may sound a little weird. And people may not want to hear this. But we all have a money story based on how we grew up, whether it be our parents teaching us a certain way, either literally speaking a certain way or their energy. My parents fought all the time. It's my memory. I know it wasn't every day, but it felt like frequently. And when they weren't, fighting, they weren't showing each other love. The only time they'd show each other love

is after a fight, they'd kind of like hug or kiss barely and like try to mend it. But then it was just like a cycle, my whole life. And a lot of this was around not having enough money, stresses around money. So I in my nervous system didn't feel emotionally safe with money conversations. So I have these money wounds based on a money story. I also got, into a season for about a year and a half where I would steal at grocery stores like candy bars and stuff when I was like 10-11. I had kids steal from me. And there's just kind of all these money wounds, these money memories that creates a money story inside of my mind and also my nervous system. You have money story. Your husband has his unique money story. And that creates our money

style, how we spend, how we save, how we think about money, how we talk about money, it creates a money personality style that we are today. And until we heal our money wounds and take ourselves to money therapy, which sounds kind of weird, and mend those wounds, will continue to live in a certain personality style and create a strategy around money based on that energetic nervous system response. and that's going to create money, a career, a business from that energy until we shift it and heal it. And it doesn't mean it's good or bad, right or wrong. It just means that's how your personality style is.

I know people that never look at their bank account, they just spend, spend, spend, spend, based on their money story and their style. I know other people that look obsessively daily and they save every penny because they're worried for whatever reason based on their money story and style. And here's an example I like to give people, and we'll do this with you. Imagine, Cody, that, imagine that there was money was a person. The idea of money, the representation of all the money in the world was in one person. And that person walked through the door right now and stood right here.

What would your initial thought, feeling, or response be if money walked in and stood right in front of you? I'd be stoked. Okay. Yeah. I'm picturing Elon Musk because I think most of the money does live there. Yeah, I think I'd be like, sweet. I get to, like, what's the deal? I want to know what's going on over there.

Okay, cool. I think that's my reaction. You'd be excited. You'd be stoked. You'd be curious. Yeah. You'd be open-minded, right? Yeah.

I've asked this to so many different people. I asked this on Mark Manson's podcast. And you know Mark Manson and so I love Mark. Yeah. And I go, money walks on the door. What's your first response? He goes, that guy's a douchebag. I was like, really?

Really? I go, huh, tell me why. That's his initial response based on his whole life history and money story. This guy's a multimillionaire. It makes tons of money with his books and show and everything. But he goes, yeah, he's kind of a stuck up douchebag. And I don't know, I don't know if I'd really want him here. And I go, okay, just notice your response.

I ask someone in their late 20s. You're at a restaurant. Money walks in the door. What do you do? And they said, I would get out of my seat and go to the bar and hide. then I would start gossiping about money behind its back like it's in the room. Then if it came up to me, I would act like I was its friend. Then I would use and abuse it when I needed money and I would ghost it if it ever reached out to me.

And I was like, that's a very descriptive response and seems very unhealthy. And they were like, yeah, it is. And that's how it shows up in their life based on their money story and based on their money personality style. That's how money shows up for them. and it doesn't make it right or wrong, good or bad. But is that relationship with money supporting you? With you, it sounds like, man, I'd be stoked if money walked in here.

I'd be like, hey, what's up? How you doing? Let's be friends. That's what it sounds like for you. You'd be more like free, flowing, open. You know, I talked to someone else. And they said, if money walked in the room, I'd give it a big hug and say, come, sit down, let's chat.

It's just like, it doesn't make it good or bad, right or wrong. It's just, is your relationship supporting you? in your daily actions around money, in your career, in your business, how you make decisions based on your relationship with it. And when people can start to reflect, I give a ton of exercises in the book on reflecting on your money story to see why you have this money personality style now and to see what your personal relationship with money is. Just to assess and see, is this serving me in my life?

Is it bringing me more joy or more pain? And that's it. This is not about how to be a mega millionaire or billionaire because that's the key to life. This is about can you live a rich, abundant life inside of you? When you do, it really doesn't matter how much money you do or don't have. It doesn't matter if you have a million or 20 million. It's like you feel good with you no matter what externally is happening. Then the money is just an additional bonus.

It's like, wow, I can do cool things with this. I can help more people. I can give more. I can buy a home. I can do stuff. But you're not living your life based on external validation. It's about internal feelings. I love doing stuff.

I think actually, you know, it would be really cool. I would be so curious what would happen, Lewis. If you're listening right now, I want you to play a little game with us and we'll see if anybody will do it. Yeah. I want you to tag us in an Instagram story where you describe what your money style is and what your money story is live. Like I want to know what the story and just tag Lewis and I. I'm so curious to hear what people's immediate reaction is when they see money walk in the door.

That's it. Yeah. And your money story and your money style equals your strategy, how you show up with money in your life today. Okay, wait. So I want to back up. So we've got, so first you've got your money story, which is like if money walked in the door, how would you react? Well, your money story is more of like all of the memories and wounds that you have around money. It could be good things. It could be negative things. Things that you remember growing up that is like when I grew up, my dad and mom said like money doesn't grow on trees.

And they were stingy and they didn't give me an allowance. And I had to work hard for my money and it was all about hard work or whatever it is. Or it could have been like, man, my parents taught me that money comes freely to me when you add value. Yeah. And so I learned how to just be a value driven into. And I learned that money flows abundantly and it doesn't like consume me. You know, whatever your personal or your story is around money.

And you do then you write down? You write those down. What are those memories? What are those memories that you can think of? What are the painful ones, the good ones? Mix it all together. That's your story. Write those down.

Then think about your money personality style. How do you spend money? How do you save money? Do you invest your money or do you just put it in a savings account? do you not know what your money is because you got so much debt that you're afraid and ashamed to look at it you know a lot of people are just like when i had credit card debt i didn't want to look at it so i was like ashamed of it i was like i just wants us to go away and so i had to really start taking a look at things differently and say oh why am i avoiding money why am i avoidant of this

i was afraid of it so i was strategically doing things in life based on my style and my story and this whole, if money was a person and it walked in the room, that's more just to see what your relationship with money is. If it was a person, because I believe money is very, it's an intimate, emotional thing. Most people have an emotional reaction with money. And emotions come from human beings. And so if you have an emotional reaction to something, imagine if it was a person, are you, when you receive money, are you grateful and appreciable?

of the money you receive? Or are you like, gosh, stressed out, anxious, and just like frustrated with it? And imagine if you were always frustrated with a person in your life, how do you think they would feel? They would enjoy it. Imagine if you were never appreciative of them. You would never express gratitude towards them,

especially an intimate partner. They probably leave you after a period of time. Or the relationship would not work. And if you thought of money when it came and when it left, as an intimate relationship. And you said it's weirdest it may sound. Money comes to me and if you said, thank you so much for being with me,

where would you like to go? What do you want to do? It's weird thinking of it as a person. I'm kind of into it. If you're a dollar, $100,000, a million dollars, comes in your bank out and you just say, thank you money for being here. Where do you want to go?

Do you want me to give you away today? You want me to use part of you to buy something for myself? Do you want me to invest in you and put you in somewhere? Do you want to go in the stock market? Do you want to me to put you in real estate? Should I hire someone and help them in their life and their dreams with your money today? Where do you want to go?

And almost asking it role playing, as weird as it sounds, I feel like you'll have a better relationship with money when you invest and appreciate the money that comes to you. You know, what's weird is it is woo-woo, but I think that if you don't do things like this, you can have all the tactics in the world and you will still be broke. And, you know, it's fascinating. How did you come up with this? Study in, asking, you know, 12 years of research,

asking all the wealthy people in the world that I knew. And all your notebooks. And all the therapists that I've interviewed and all the healing work I've done on intimacy and relationships. And I realized from some of my biggest episodes around money, and I just would ask people what's your biggest challenge with money,

what's your biggest fear, what's holding you back, what's blocking you, what's your limiting beliefs. And it always came back, to this relationship with money. And I know this because I had a bad relationship with it for a long time. And it took years to kind of heal and learn these things and figure out how can I feel

emotionally free with money? Because I don't want money to have power over me. And even a year and a half ago, I thought I was free with money and something triggered me. Something hit the emotional, psychological wound of stealing my money. And it made me furious. And I realized it still has power of me. I'm still not free with money emotionally.

And this relationship that of me and money is not good still. Maybe in certain areas, but not every area. And I'm sure there's more levels for this. It's not like I've mastered this. This is about me exploring how to set myself emotionally free and have tools that have ever go back into pain, how do I create freedom quicker? That's so good.

And again, I just know so many people that I'd ask questions to about what are their struggles around money, what are their fears, their concerns, their insecurities. People are living in fear around money. And that fear is blocking their abundance. It's blocking their ability to earn more and feel free with the money they're earning. Yeah. And even to learn about how to make money. Because I think a lot of the reasons, I go straight to tactic.

Because apparently I'm buddies with money. I don't know why. But I like him. Walked in, you're like, hey, let's hang out. Su, what you got? But that's why I want to go to tactics immediately because I'm like, oh, tell me. But most people can't even go there because they don't have a relationship with it. They cannot.

Toxic. Their whole relationship is broken. So how are you going to do tactics if you can't even be in a room with money? Yeah, 100%. If you've got an intimate partner in front of you and you don't feel emotionally safe to have an open, vulnerable conversation as a tactic, you've got to do the healing work on you first before you can actually look someone in the eyes and say, hey, you hurt me. Hey, this upset me. I want to talk about it calmly, consciously. Instead of, you hurt me. It's like when you are so reactive or

fearful and wounded, you respond based out of a wound, not out of wisdom, not out of like conscious communication, not out of clarity. It doesn't mean everything's going to be comfortable in your life. These are about, you're going to have uncomfortable conversations. But how can you have those uncomfortable conversations like you do from a place of, when someone says that we need to talk, you try to lean into it right away. It doesn't mean it's easy, but you consciously lean in and say, what can we do to make this better? 100%.

You know, you don't avoid it. You don't run from it. You do the uncomfortable thing, but you try to mend it faster. Yeah. But it's a great point because, you know, it would be sweet. I don't know. I didn't, you don't have this in the book, I don't think. Like, I would love a quiz on personality types with money.

Oh, I've got a whole chapter with a quiz. No, but you don't have a, like, where you can go and click and say, you're this on your website? Yes. What's the website? Well, I mean, it's in the book, and I've got the code of here. I have to buy the actual thing for you. Okay.

Is the website. But there's a whole chapter with a quiz you can take here. And is there an avatar? And it tells you your personality style. Yes. Okay. So what are you? Well, I'll tell you this right now.

Let me find this page so I can tell the exact process of this. tell me when you're ready because, and I'll tell a story in the meantime. So I remember, I was speaking at a women's event. Yes. And it was a finance women's event with a bunch of like kind of pretty wealthy women, all in leadership roles. And this is when I realized that a book like yours was really needed, but I had no answers to this question then. I was going to go on and speak about how to do asset investing at like a high level, alternative investing, blah, blah, blah. But first, they had this woo-woo chick in Austin come on and talk about. Who was it? Do you remember? You know, I don't.

I remember a lot of feathers and like a dish, there were beads, there was a hat. And I was judgy. I was immediately judgy. And yet this woman came on and she blew my mind. She had us all close her eyes. She said in the audience, everybody close your eyes. And I want you to visualize money. And I want your body to become a visual representation of your feeling of money.

I love it. And so immediately. Very woo. Yeah, very woo. And I like, you know, I'm like opening one eye slightly. But, but a. But, you know, my hands like went up. I was like, money.

You know, I wanted. I like it. And I kind of thought that would be everybody. And she said, now, now freeze. Keep your eyes closed. Now open your eyes. And she had us look around. And how many people have their hands up?

Oh, maybe like me and one other check. Wow. And almost everybody else was, you know, some of them might have been like this or like this or like this. And that's when I realized, whoa, you know, in this area. I'm messed up in many, many, many areas. But in this one, this is such a wound for people. And if we don't heal the wound, then. And we definitely cannot apply, you know, a new foundation.

We can't apply growth. We can't extend. Exactly. It's got to heal the wound. And you were like free. You were like, I'm ready, you know? Yeah. And don't get me wrong.

I still freak out about money sometimes. But most people are blocked. You have a different thing. You know. There's just I want too much of it. This is what you did to me on your podcast. You have a different thing where it's like, I was like, what's enough? And you're like, I don't know.

You're like, there is not enough. You're like, I need it all. And it's not a right or wrong, good or bad conversation. But it's just why? It doesn't make it wrong. I just, okay, where is that coming from? That's it. And then you held back the tears.

You're like, I'm not going to talk about this. I'm going to close down right now. I was like, okay, cool. You did. You're like, what would it look like if you were enough? And I was like, shut up, Lewis. Next topic. Yeah, stop trying to make me emotional.

And it doesn't mean you don't have to like reach your ultimate potential and go for what you want to go for. I'm not saying that. But is it where is it coming from? And, you know, I don't know if you've reflected on that. at all, but it's like, I think your money, I can't remember what was enough for you. You're like, I want a hundred million. No, I want a billion or something. I was like, okay.

Just kept going bigger. Why? And is your number still a billion or is it bigger now? Well, I think some of the stuff that's helped me lately, we've talked about this, is that I want a family. And I want. Yeah, it's hard to. Yeah, and I have to make space for that.

And I, and there's got to be another priority. Tradwife. Yeah. Tradwife. You know this. Hashtag trad wife life. Oh my God. I want to be in sundresses, just prancing around like a happy little mother.

In the woods, cabin. Yeah, with a little. That's why I judged the chick. I wanted the hat and the be. It's full circle probably. You wanted to feel emotionally free. Exactly. But it's hard to be going for a billion dollar business brand and be in your heart all day.

Yeah. And be like emotionally open and have flexibility and space for like chaos with kids running around and just being open to like cleaning diapers and like feeding and just listening to your kids like gabbily goop or whatever when they're when they're kids like you have to create that emotional space that emotional freedom in order to be present and if you're always in your head of like we got to grow and build and build you don't have space for that and it's not a good or bad right or wrong thing it's like what do you want what's your vision yeah and what's your season and a in a billion dollars what's it going to do for you

I mean, buy you more planes than $100 million? Like, I don't know, like, cool. Not a big difference between. And then what? You're going to give a lot of it away or buy more sports teams or invest in cool stuff? But it's like, for what? To manage more problems? Yep, that's very true.

And at the end of the day, what is it that you want to feel? What is a billion dollars going to make you feel when you hit that? Higher level, higher devils. And so for me, it's like, what I'm hearing your heart say, and maybe it's the season of life for, I don't know, clock ticking or whatever it might be, or you just feel like, okay, I also want this, that there's some richness and joy to that as well. That's probably more than a billion dollars will ever give you. Yeah.

I've definitely felt it more. I mean, for young people that really want money, I love that pursuit. I think there's like a level of happiness that comes with being able to cover your basic needs. But, man, I think you and I have both felt best. The happiest source of joy in my life is my husband. Exactly. You know, and he's also the biggest pain in my ass sometimes, but mostly joy. Yeah.

But I want to get to this style quiz. Yeah, there's four different, yeah, page 43 of my book. There's a whole quiz that you'll go through and then add up your number or whatever. But there's these different styles that each person has. And one is called the director, but there's also a shadow style. Which one do you think I am? There's a director, the energizer, the shepherd, and the analyzer. you're probably a director.

This is the benefits of a director are a self-starter, focused on results, favors facts over feelings, which is all about you. You know, you don't have feelings, not much too much too.

You're not intimidated by challenges. You're willing to make tough decisions. You're cool under pressure and you have a strong action bias. But there are... Then what's the shadow? Well, the shadow is the interesting part. The director becomes the dictator.

Oh, shit. And so the weaknesses is they don't value input, doesn't value input. They avoid helpful routines and details sometimes. They struggle to think of others, mostly thinking about your needs, overcommit self and others to too many things. Sacrifices, healthy practices, doesn't want to wait, very impatient, expresses discontent or appears uncaring. So it might be. Check, check, check. I mean, but that's if you're, if you go in like the.

dark side of your personality style. But that's amazing. So they should read the book, then take your personality style. Yes. And listen, I kind of am believer, and I'm curious what you think. I think we can change, but not a lot. And so it's like, you know, I'll probably always have a little bit of the dictator. I'll probably have a little bit of the director.

But then it's just making sure you lead more from the light than the dark. And the more you heal, the more you lean into the light side. Right. And that's the key. Like, you're always going to have that style, but how can you have a healthier version of that style. Right. And not the,

the dark version of that style. When I was, I don't know, 10, 12 years ago, I just was down, I was making all this money, but my ego was coming out. And I was so wounded in so many places

that it was like, aggressive everywhere with everyone in certain areas. And I was like, what is wrong with me? You know, it's like, this money was, was revealing more of who I was

of the dark side inside of me. Sure, it showed the light side as well, but when I was triggered emotionally, that came out even bigger. And money doesn't heal who you are. It reveals who you are. And until you learn to heal, then it's just going to reveal the better part of you. So if you, you know, if you had to think about the steps that you would take to get money, it sounds like one of the first ones is going through these certain levels. Yes. And then, and then what do you do next? So now you've got your style.

Now you've got your story. Now you've got your personality. What do you do next? So the first part is really understanding and having awareness about you. That's what it is. It's like reflecting on my story, reflecting on my style, getting my personality style, so I understand what that is. And then reflecting on my whole strategy around money, my entire life to where I'm today. And once I have kind of a blueprint around what that is, then there are seven habits for creating financial freedom. And once we start to heal and mend and take ourselves to money therapy, then we can create

financial success from a healthier place, not from a place of, I need to prove myself, I'm not enough, I need more to feel good about me, but this will bring me happiness. So once we get to that kind of foundation first, then there's seven habits. The first one is the mindset habit. And this is what I think, a lot of people think, when I have money, then I'll give, then I'll be more generous. But the wealthiest people in the world start with generosity, even when they don't have a lot to give. I'm sure you've heard the Tony Robbins story about when he had like $10 in his pocket one day. He was like going broke. He had no money. He didn't know where the money was going to come in. And he was at a restaurant. He took himself to like his final dinner. He was like, all right, I'm broke after

this dinner. And he found a young boy who was with his mother. And he went up to the young boy and said, you're you're paying for your mother and here's the money. And he gave his last like five, $10 away for this dinner. And he said he leapt out of the restaurant, like the feeling of giving it, even though it was his last dollars, made him feel so alive, the generosity of giving you a few dollars for this act of generosity. And he said, you know, he went home and someone called him and who owed him money and sent him the money that day and more money started coming in. Now, that might have been a synchronicity. Who knows? But it was more about the feeling of generosity. And again, if you don't have money, you don't have to give it.

But what can you give initially? Again, when I was broke, I reached out to thousands of people literally on LinkedIn in 2007, eight, and nine, and built relationships with people by asking them questions. That curiosity, people don't want you to ask them for advice, but they love talking about their story of how they overcame challenges to achieving their success. You're going to get the same answers. Either way, but you're giving to someone when you say, can you tell me how you overcame this season of life?

It seems fascinating to me. Versus, can you give me advice on how to get a job? No one wants to give their time to someone else, but they'll give of their storytelling about how they overcame something. And they'll give you hours of their time. It's so true. Just a simple switch. How many people call it to you to say, I love to, you know, get five minutes of your time

to pick your brain. It's like you don't have time. You're busy. You can't give someone freely of this time that you don't even know. But maybe if someone wrote you a nice email or it's just like, man, I really love like the business you did back like seven years ago. And they really researched and said they found something you did. They're like, that was so cool and how you jump from here to hear.

I would love to hear that story if you have a few minutes to share it. Maybe you won't have the time, but you're more likely to have the time if it's the right timing for you to say, yeah, I'm happy to email you or jump on a call or maybe we can meet in the future. Like, you're more open to it. Anyways, the mindset habit is about being generous. And if you don't have money... I want to double tap on that for a second because one of my favorite quotes from one of my smartest mentors, Donald Park, was, if you want money, ask for advice. And if you want advice, ask for money. And I love that because it's basically another level to what you're saying, which is especially when you start, you know, asking people to

invest in your stuff, asking for a raise, asking for whatever. We think the direct path is the best, which is, I would like a raise, or I would like you to invest in this, or I would like you to X with money. But if instead you said, huh, you know, I saw Lewis that at this point in your life, you did this X thing, how did you end up breaking up with money then? What was that like? You know, or if you said to your boss, hey, if one day I wanted to get a raise? What would it take? What would it take, what would that look like? What do you actually do it? You're asking for a raise. Exactly. But you're asking for advice, which feels much cleaner. Yes. So I think that's really, really powerful. And if you can switch that up, I love it. And then the only other thing tactically

on that is like, what does that look like for you daily? Back then it was me emailing people on LinkedIn constantly. And it was just like one question. Like, I would, I would, I had like, I tried to find three points of, of connection within every message. In the first line, I would find, I would find something that we had in common somehow. Even if it was, ah, I see we're both from like the same city. You know, I would just whatever I could find.

I would try to add that in there. And then the second line, I would talk about something where I'm really inspired by what they've done. I really like, like, you know, what you created here at Sports Illustrated. I was back in the sports world early on and how you've built this brand.

So I was just emailing CEOs. And then I was trying to find another point of like connection within the third line, which is, I don't know, finding, it was usually on LinkedIn, it was who you have in common. Oh, I see we're both connected to so-and-so as our second-degree connection. And I was just chatting with them last week about you. And they really love what you helped them with. So I'd always find a connecting person that we had in common.

I'd find some couple points of interest that we had in common as well. And then I'd try to acknowledge them for what they've created. And then I'd say, I'd love to learn more about how you did this. And when I originally started doing this, I was just asking people for advice and no one replied. Then I was like, oh, you got to kind of like butter people up a little bit and be more intentional about it and do some research and be like more thoughtful about them, not about what I need. And the more I did that, I just repeated it and everyone started replying to me. And then people were taking me out to lunch and paying for me to learn from them when I was like broke.

I was like, oh, there's something to this. And that's actually what inspired me to launch the school of greatness. I was having all these fascinating conversations with people way more successful to me. And I was like, if people could only hear these conversations, they would be able to build a business like I've just done in the last few years. I was like, why don't I just start recording these things and put them out there? And that's essentially why school greatness is born. That's wild.

I mean, I've listened to you for years, as you know. But it is even now, like, as successful as maybe somebody, you know, might think you or I are, there are dark, dark days and hard days. that I put on School of Greatness, or I put on Founders' Podcast, or I put on one of our other friends' podcasts. And I do, I just listen. Like, I'm feeling a little lost.

And so I'm going to pick up, I want to steal just a little bit of that, like energy, that contagion like we talked about. And so I think that's beautiful. So it's this generosity and constant reach out. And gratitude. Yeah. When you're broke, you're not grateful by default.

Yeah. You're frustrated. You're resentful of the government. You're resentful of who's in, you know, which political parties in power and what they're not giving you. You're frustrated that they took away this grant or these loans or this thing. You're like, I'm not getting what I want and they're not taking care of me. Or there's some resentment or frustration typically, not by everyone.

So you've got to learn to shift it and say, what am I grateful for in living in gratitude and generosity? That's the first principle. Most people say, I'll be grateful, I'll be generous when I have more money. You need to make that the first principle. the first tactic and the first feeling and meshing them together. How can I be a giver? And what that looks like for me now is when I see someone like you doing so well,

I reach out to you. I'll send a voice note, a video message, a text and say, God, keep, this is amazing what you're doing. Keep crushing it. If I can help with anything, let me know. And if you're looking for advice on this in the future, I got your back. It doesn't have to be a lot. Or it could be, hey, just thinking about you lately,

what's the biggest challenge you're faced with right now in your business? And just doing that once every few months, or what's the biggest challenge you're having a life with it right now with your friends? Doing that once every few months with your top 20 connections, and just being top of mind. And then when they tell you their biggest challenge, solve it as fast as you can. Because it's usually a pain they've had for months.

And when you solve their problem, and when you also connect them with one person who is the solution, you're now creating, you're not just helping one person, you're actually helping two people expand. And then you become the champion of their relationship. They always talk about, man, so grateful for Lewis for connecting us. I have two buddies of mine that both, I did this like four years ago with two friends of mine.

And one guy was like, I'm trying to figure out social media. can you help me like what you do? And I was like, it's not something I do for someone. I can give you strategy, but I know a guy if you're looking for someone to help you run this. And I reached out to the guy and say, hey, this person's looking for this. Can you help him? He said, yes. I connect them.

Literally a year and a half later, they send me a car to my apartment building because they made like $10 million together. Over this next like couple of years, maybe it was two or two and a half years. They do $10 million together. And they think of me as the champion of their wealth, of their abundance, of their success. You know, they did all the work, but I was the champion that connected them. I thought about both of them how they could both succeed. They sent me a car as a gift, as a thank you. And it's just when you can do that for someone, you're expanding people's opportunities

for success and growth. And you become the champion. They always want to give back. If they're good people, they're going to want to give back. and just reach out to your friends, your family, say, what's your biggest challenge right now? How can I help? And try to solve it.

Like, call someone right then and say, I got the person, let me three way you in now. Like, do it now. And then I learned this by hosting LinkedIn networking events in 2008, 2009. I did 20 events around the country using LinkedIn as the platform to market these LinkedIn networking events. And the economy was crashing. People were struggling.

This is how I got started. And every person that walked in the door and say, what's your name, put a name tag on them, and I'd say, what's your business, and what's your biggest challenge? And then 10 people later, I'd say, what's your name, what's your business, what's your biggest challenge? And I'd be like, oh, someone was a graphic designer and someone needs graphic design services. I would take this person and walk them to them and say, connect, do your deal now. And I would do that for everyone that would come into the events. And they were all succeeding, sending me emails and letters and referrals and commissions for just,

connecting the dots. Well, you did that for me with Rory, remember, in the book? And so because of that, I learned all about the inside of books and never would have done it. So it's really good. And I feel like the only way you can kill this practice of gratitude is by expecting something in return, right? So if you do this, you can't get mad when they never send you the car. And I wasn't expecting it. Right.

Which is like the key. All right. We've got point one. Let's do two and three. And then we're going to make them read your book for the others. The second one is the mapping habit. And this is really kind of creating a map and almost like a game plan for how much money you want to make.

This is Cody Sanchez's tactics. I want to be a billionaire. Okay. So why do we want to be a billionaire? What's the process for getting there? And how am I going to get there? And what's this next season of life, these next three to six months that I'm going to start working towards this?

What's the map? What's the game plan? Creating micro goals, bigger goals, and starting to strategize how to get. get there. When I was broken my sister's couch, I was like, I just want more money. And I was like, okay, a mentor was like, you got to get clear. Just in the next three months, how much do you want to make? You're broke. You're not going to be a millionaire in a year. Maybe, but it's like, just plan for three months. What do you want? I was like, I want $5,000. And he goes, how do you want to make it? Tell me, if you could do it doing anything, I go, I want to make it giving a speech. I want to speak and get paid $5,000.

And at the time, I was learning public speaking and toastmaster, so I was developing the skill, but I was not that good yet. But he said, okay, are you willing to go all in on this? Because you're so far away from $5,000 at this point, broke my sister's couch. And I was like, I'm willing to go all in. He goes, put a date by when you want to accomplish this by. I want you to sign it and certify it, make a certification, and put it on your wall and look at it every day. and then take an action every single day to go make that $5,000.

And the first week may just be, I'm going to go give three speeches for free and get reps. I'm going to get coaching. I'm going to get feedback. Then it's I'm going to charge $5 for like a ticket to a like a workshop. Then I'm going to do this. Then I'm going to keep giving free. Like whatever it is, map out the game plan to make that five grand. Within three months, I made $5,000 on one speech.

And I made money along the way, a little bit here and there, by taking the action on the mapping habit. So get clear on your goal. If yours is a billion, by when? What's the strategy? What's the yearly strategy? How are you got to break it down seasonally? Who are the people you need to hire? It's creating that game plan and map and then signing a certificate to yourself from you and dating it.

And framing it and saying, this is going to happen. And it doesn't matter actually if it happens or not. But it's creating a clear intention going back to that energetic feeling of this is happening what I need to do to make it happen and just getting clear. The third one is the monetizing habit. This is something that when I was, again, broken my sister's couch, I didn't know how to monetize anything because I didn't understand money. I didn't have a college degree yet and I didn't know who would give me money.

So I had to learn what are these intangibles, these hidden assets that I could monetize because I didn't have any hard skills that were monetizable. And these are some of the things I'm talking about, learning how to build relationships, connecting people, you know, overcoming fears, overcoming self-doubt,

setting clear goals, accomplishing them. It was just like having passion and energy, asking dumb questions to smart people. I didn't think these were skills. But who would have thought asking dumb questions to millionaires for years would have helped me build a business, would have turned into,

a 12-year podcast, one of the biggest podcasts in the world, I never thought I could make money asking dumb questions, and that's what I do every day. But it's learning about what are these hidden skills, these hidden assets that you don't think you have, starting to develop those and bring those out. And I talk about how to find and monetize your uniqueness that can really bring that out and bring abundance into your life. And I'm telling you this, I didn't think I could do any of this. I was so dumb. I was so insecure. I had no skills. I almost flunked out of of college and I was flunked out of high school and I needed tutors every year. And I was in special needs classes. So I didn't have the skill set to go get a job or do these things. But I learned

how to monetize my inner world and my inner skills for external financial success. And you can too. It's so good. Yeah, I wonder if in the future there'll be like a little money gym, sort of like there's a physical gym, like, you know, because you can see thinking about these ideas, It is therapy, but it's a different type. It is. You know, if our international language right now is money. Yeah. And it is the one thing that we all spend most of our life in pursuit of besides sleeping.

But yet, we spend so little time learning about it. Yes. We spend so little time diagnosing it. And then we spend so little time figuring out our decision making on it or coming up with daily habits on it. So no wonder we're broke. You know, 47% of Americans die broke. And why? Because we don't know how to habituate it.

We don't know how to diagnose it. no sit. And then we don't know how to make decisions on it. I mean, unless you're Bill Perkins and you want to die, bro. Die with zero. But that doesn't mean you lived rich, but you end with zero. Believe me. He started just fine. That's the guy. But most people live with zero and die with zero. That's right. He lives abundantly, but he's planning to give it all away at the end of his life, I guess, which is a different strategy. So, yeah, the goal is to really figure out

what your inner currency is and how to maximize that and monetize your inner currency. What's for the coolest thing that's happened since you've put out the book? Have a bunch of people responded about it yet? Yeah, of course. Yeah, it's more of like, you know, going on tour was really cool to just see people and share these concepts and get people opening up. For me, it's, and again, it's this little woo-wee, but it's getting people to open their heart to feel like they are worthy of their life. It's feeling I am worthy of the pursuit of that I'm creating, whether I'm making tons of money, a little money, some money, no money, but reminding people of their worthiness.

Because when I believe people are more self-confident, more self-worthy, they create and attract opportunities. You become wealthier financially. A person who lacks confidence and self-worth is usually going to sabotage good things when they come to them. And so you might be able to make something, but then you're like, I'm guilty and ashamed that I have this. It's learning to step into your power and your worth, not in an ego, egotistic way, but just in a conscious, loving way, saying, how can I be a giver?

How can I be grateful for all that I've received? And how can I be generous in life? And I think that's a worthy life. Yeah, but also, a lot of the woo-woo stuff, people get mad about it with money because it's not tactical. This is very tactical, which is why I think it's pretty rare, actually. I mean, I've read just about every book I could find on money because I do find it fascinating. But when people ask me, what are the steps to become rich when you have no money? My answer is typically, tactics. You've got to go obsess on your skill set and earn more. And you've got to obsess on learning more. That's like step one and two. And I did that. But not without this. But I did that and I wasn't happy. I made money and it solved money problems, but all my relationships were broken. and I was emotionally broken. So I was like, well, I just need to be bigger and better and be number one always. And if I drop down anywhere and I make less money one year than the next year, then I'm going to be stressed out and frustrated and I'm going to be angrier

and I need to go make more and work harder. And I was exhausted. It was exhausting. And it doesn't mean it wasn't fun at time. It's nicer to have money than to not have money. I don't want to go back on my sister's couch. And that fear of not wanting to go back made me like, hold on to it more as opposed to being more relaxed and flowing and allowing it to come and go

and appreciating when it's here and saying thank you for being here and i got to spend you here great i'm excited for that as well and it was that journey of healing and understanding oh what's my money wiring why am i this way oh let me just reflect on some of these stories and like oh i guess that's why my nervous system i react around money in these situations naturally because that's what happened to me growing up so let me start to mend those things so that i can actually feel and be rich. Are you, is there a difference between men and women that you've seen and the way they think about money writ large?

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And I'm also, you know, my wife is really smart when it comes to a lot of things. But she studied money for most of her life and she had a healthy relationship with it when she was younger. Like she would tell me stories of like they grew up in, you know, poor Mexico. in the south of Mexico. They didn't have a lot of money growing up. But her dad, whenever they would have money, he'd have like her and her siblings on the bed, like throwing money in the air, jumping and saying,

money is good. Money is fun. Like, we are happy and money, money, money loves us. These are like things that she would say. And her dad would create these environments, even though he didn't have a lot of money. But it was creating like an emotional connection with money that money is a good thing.

People with money aren't evil. People with money aren't bad. Maybe some people are, but it doesn't mean you have to be. And it can feel good with it. So she always had a healthy relationship with it. She started making money when she was younger. She was in her late teens. She was doing TV and movies.

And she's like, she went to seminars. She went to like rich dad, poor dad seminars 20 years ago. That's wild. And she was like studying books and learning. And I think that mindset of like, I'm going to keep learning and I'm going to have a healthy relationship with it. And it doesn't have power. over me. It's

for her, I think that's rare in women because a lot of women I haven't meant that do that. I think a lot of women have, maybe it's shifted now in the Girl Boss era, but I think a lot of women maybe just haven't been as invested in learning and

invested in investing. And I don't know if you know Chris Powell. Do you know him? He was on Ice Coffee Hour recently. But I just had him on yesterday and he was like, I've been trying to get women for years to invest. And it's been like pulling teeth, trying to get people to just invest $10 a month in the stock market.

And so he's like, it's been so hard to get women to invest. And I'm not sure why that is. But maybe you see it differently with your community because you're attracting women who want to do what you do. Well, I have found that, you know, if you're a woman out there talking about money consistently, it's a little, some people can perceive it as gauche or. Gosh, what is this? It's just like, like, a child wife.

Like a little showy, like not in good taste. Yeah, yeah. And I have found, you know what's interesting actually, Louis? I can quantify this. In our group at first, they wanted a separate group in our business buying community for the women. They wanted like a separate channel basically in our Slack and we have these different channels about different types of deals and industries and sectors.

And they were like, we want a women business buying thing. And my immediate reaction was, No. Why? No. Like, your vagina, my vagina, have nothing to do with whether you can buy a business or not. Totally unrelated. But then I talked to a few of them and that made a few mad. And so they talked to me about it. And I can sometimes be brash. So I was like, well, let me hear you. Let's talk to me through this. What did they say? That they were embarrassed. They were embarrassed about some of the questions that they had. They had shame about the size of the deals they had versus the other guys. They were scared about. how they negotiated versus others. And this is the thing. When we are living in fear, shame, or guilt around these things, we are limiting our power and our ability to make decisions. Or we have to, like, hide in different types of groups and say, I'm only going to talk

to these people. That means money or these deals or the flow of money has some type of power over you because you are ashamed to talk about it to other people. This is not a right or wrong, good or bad conversation. This is a, is that supporting and serving your life? Do you feel free when you have to hide yourself and have conversations in limited groups versus with anyone? And that's why in the beginning of the conversation, I was saying, start having conversations

with everyone around money. You don't have to reveal what's in your bank account day one, but start just, hey, what's your thoughts on money? What do you think about when money comes to you or do you ever think about investing? If so, what do you think about it? What's your process look like? Just having some general conversations and feeling more safe in those conversations with girlfriends, with guys, friends, with colleagues, whatever might be. So you are in power, not feeling like it has power over you.

It's just so necessary because with those women, what I eventually said was, instead of doing that, can I push you guys to have this conversation in the main group? And I will lead it. I'll, like, lead it off. I'll tell some embarrassing things about me first because, you are self-limiting by going to this group because the average net worth of the woman in our group is lower than the men. You guys also are doing slightly smaller deals than the guys on average. So if you pull yourselves over here into a group of people that have less money that do smaller deals, what are you replicating? Well, now you're in a group that's smaller

when the whole point of you being in here is for you to be in a group of other winners. And so we eventually sort of compromised on this idea. And I said, listen, if anybody's rude to you, if anything negative happens, like, you ping me direct. And I will make sure that I handle it. But can I please push you slightly to go bigger? Yeah. And I'm all for people like, you know, being in safe environments and having safe settings

when they're talking about something that's vulnerable for you. I'm not saying you have to do this right away with billionaires because you're not going to know what they know. But I think there is also a process of, you know, that's why. it is important to read books or watch your show and get mentorship and be in these types of groups because it's going to expose you to feeling more comfortable over time. And I was uncomfortable within my first year of learning stuff. It still takes time. But I'm also now comfortable knowing that I don't know a lot. And when you think you've learned a lot about money,

you actually realize you don't know that much at all still. There's like different levels that you're like, what are these people doing? I don't know what this terminology is. I'm still a beginner, it seems like. But I'm okay that I'm a beginner. And I'm I'm okay to say, well, this is where I'm at. And if that's embarrassing to me, then it doesn't matter as much anymore. And I think learning to be okay with who I am, with where I'm at, where I'm at, no matter what environment or setting I'm in, is power. And it's having that courage that makes you feel more empowered as well.

Yeah, and the only embarrassing way that you can do this is by trying to pretend you're something or not. Exactly. Because then people can see. Exactly. But if you're pretty candid about the fact that, yeah, man, I'm not making as much as I want to. and I know you guys have seven figures over here. I'm working on my first five.

I'd love to hear more about what you would do if you only had five. People are like, great. That's raw. Yeah, and they want to help you. When you're real and raw about where you're at, the right people will be inspired by your vulnerability and say, hey, if you ever want to talk about it,

let me know I'm happy to support you getting here. Here's some things I would do that I would avoid. And if they're not encouraging, get out of those communities and groups. Great point. You know, find people and other groups that are more, supportive and safe. I am so glad you came on today, Lewis House, make money easy. I can't wait to see everybody tag us in their videos of their money personality and relationship. And I'm really excited to pass on this book. I think this is the missing piece that I didn't have where, you know,

before you go buy a business, make sure you understand how your relationship with money is. So I'm going to plug it right in. Appreciate it. Thank you. Yeah, I don't want people to sabotage the deals they make because they feel unworthy or insecure, or they feel like, oh, now that this is happening, I'm going to break down, what do I do? And let me retreat because emotionally, I don't feel safe. So the goal is not to retreat. It's to say, how can I go through this challenge and adversity within my business and expand and overcome it, not retreat.

Make money easy. Go buy the book. Everywhere books are bought. Follow Lewis House on all the varying sites, but my favorite, the School of Greatness, is on YouTube and anywhere you listen to podcasts, Lewis, you're the man. Thanks for being here. You guys, tell me if you felt the same way that I felt about this episode. Was this as useful and insane as I thought it was?

I hope that hundreds of thousands of you are watching this on YouTube, and I know that hundreds of thousands of you are listening to it just about everywhere. If you found this impactful, do me a solid. Tag me on Instagram and let me know that you are about to get that money because of this episode. I want to see all the stories about you out there making money. and making impact because you are a big deal to me. Until next time. Hey guys, if you've ever thought about buying a business, we've built what I think is the best acquisitions in business buying community and education curriculum in the world.

If you've ever thought about wanting to buy or own a business or if you want to add more businesses to the mix, it's called the contrarian community. And what this is, is the goal is, we give you the three things that the best business buyers use, your own advisory team, your own investment committee, and a deal team. We get together each, week to review deals live and beat up all the deals that you're currently looking at while you simultaneously learn the best way possible, which is called modeling by seeing other people put together deals. This is how private equity buys businesses. This is how investment teams work, and we're stealing the methods from Wall Street and giving them to you. If this is interesting

to you, go to click the link and you can actually talk to my team direct about if this is a fit or not. We can help guide you. The link is in the show description.