Immigration, Education and Family: Sara Fashandi's From Tehran to Tomorrow
00:00In this episode, I talked with Tara Fashandi about her book from Tehran to Tomorrow,which chronicles her oldest brother, Mosen's journey as he immigrated solo to the U.S.,and then slowly was a bridge to help the rest of his siblings to come over as well.It's a really powerful story about resilience and innovation and family, and we really hada great conversation about all of that, so I can't wait for you guys to listen.I am super excited to dive into your book, Sarah.But I do always want to get to know a little about the authors first before we dive into the books and everything.So what was your journey to writing like?
00:44Did you always want to write?Did something kind of hit you in adulthood that made you want to write?How did that all come together for you?Yes.First of all, Kate, thanks for having you in your show.It's very exciting to be here.Yeah. So I'm Sarah Pashandi. I came to US in 1977 as a student. I came here just to go to school and the goal was to go back home after finishing my college degree.But you know, the government changed and we stayed here. So and I studied biochemistry. I have my master's degree from the Ohio State University in Colorado.
01:28I worked in the lab and then I moved into operation.I actually work in supply chain right now.Oh yeah.And then medical device company.So how I started doing, becoming an author is very interesting.During a family reunion, you know, let me just go back a little bit.back a little bit. So there is my brother when he came in and I'm sure we will touch on that.When my older brother came to the US, he brought five of us here. So there were six siblings.
02:11And we all got married and had children almost at the same time, coincidentally. It just happened.We all got married at the same time. We all had children at the same time.So when the kids were three, four years old and up, you know, as they grew, every summer, we had a family reunion here in California where I live and two of my other siblings are also here.So during one of the family reunions, I believe it was 2007.And for the family reunion, the cousins played together, whatever.And then adults to make it interesting, we had contest.One year was cooking, you know, different contests.So one year it was the best childhood story contest.
03:11Wow.And my older brother won.The kids were, our kids by then were teenagers, you know, between 10 to 13.they were the judges. We chose them as our judges. So my brother won and he got a jar of cookies.And they tell that evening he was sitting with the paper that he had written in front of him in the kitchen of this Airbnb.We rented an MBA because there were 19 of us. We had to create everybody there.So he was sitting and looking at the paper and smiling.So I sat next thing and I asked him if the story was true because the story talks about the fact that we were poor.
04:05And, you know, I'm child number six.He's number one.And he said it was, you know, it's true.And I have so many other stories that I want to.tell. And I then I thought about it and then I thought, okay, you know, I like to capture the stories,but I'm not, I'm not, I don't write like memoirs, I write scientific articles. So I tookclasses in Berkeley, memoir writing classes. There were 12 of us and I learned how towrite in the class.
04:52And then the instructor actually made us write something and read it in the class.So everybody would give a feedback.So it was an incentive for me to write.So I had to talk to my brother.So anyway, we wrote, I wrote many, many stories.Then I wanted to just sort of let the family.see their stories, you know. And as I'm reading and writing the stories, I thought that the storiesare so interesting and it shows the my brother's innovation, you know, as a little boy. It started at the age
05:38of six. So I thought I need to share this story with the world, you know. And I'm glad I did. So,message in a matchbox was created and with only 26 stories in the book my editor I wanted to write to have morestories in there but it would have been a very big book so he said nobody will read such a thickbook so so cut it cut the cut the stories short so we did we we changed it I think therewas like 40 stories and we cut it too.Wow.If they were similar, the ending conveyed the same message.We just cut those and chose our favorite ones.
06:34So that's how message in a mashbox was born and I became an author as a sort of a passion to my existing, to my existing job.Yes.Yeah.So I can.That's a cool story.Yeah.That itself is a cool story.Yeah, I know.
06:57And then I thought that was it.I thought, okay, I'm done with the stories.My brother, Mousson, I did whatever he did, came to the US as an immigrant and that was that.Then I, the readers came, you know, approached me and say, please write what happened to him when he came.when he came to America.Yeah.And I thought, okay, it's a typical emigrant story until my brother lives in Chicago.Until one time I had a book event and I invited the readers who were sort of my friends
07:37and some other readers I knew where they lived.So I invited them.There were like 50 of us.And I just asked my brother to.say something about his experience.And then he stood up, took the microphone from me, stood up,and he talked about the challenges, how he never had money.He was struggling all the time.
08:01The language was very difficult for him,and he was lonely, homesick.Many times he wanted to come back.And then he made a very casual comment,like, I was homeless for three nights.I'm like, we were told in D.C., Washington, D.C.Right.I'm like, what, what, how this?
08:26Are you telling me this?What's going on?So then I, that was the moment that I thought, okay, I got to write the second story,which is there from Tehran to tomorrow.Yes.You know, the second book came out.Yes.Yeah.
08:45And it is, there are so many stories within this one even as well.Yeah.And I think what was like specifically probably very surprising for you was like you were well into adulthood learning this about your brother as well. Yeah.And how did that feel? He had not shared it with anyone. He had he had kept this as a secret inside him, you know, for almost.I want to say for almost 50 some years.He didn't tell anyone.So when I asked him, he said, you know, why bother talking about bad experienceswhen you've already overcome those experiences and challenges?
09:33So, you know, that is true in a way.And then why worry the family?Like what else is there that he's not telling us?So he never said anything to us.he was experiencing it and he just let it be and that's my brother as i'm getting to know him betterthat's how he is that's his character he just does things on his own and he tries to overcome thingsyou know individually yeah it does happen more sometimes with the oldest siblingsyeah um yeah they may be kind of like feel
10:15like, oh, okay. And then as it goes on, as you go on to tell his stories here, like,that kind of was, it seems like that was what was really meaningful for him was that he was ableto then help you and your other siblings come over as well. Yeah. And not have it be as hardas it was for him. Yes. Yeah. That's, you know, that's a very good observation, you know,from someone, you know, who's, I don't know if you're an immigrant, but someone who, you know, yeah.So, you know, as an immigrant, you leave everything behind, everything that's familiar,you know, to just come here for a better life, for better opportunities, and being the first one with no connections, no family.And back in 1973, there were no cell phones.
11:08So you couldn't text your parents and say, I arrived.Right.So we actually had to wait for about a month for a letter to come and, you know,tell my parents, he wrote that I arrived safely.I'm at the English as a second language school, ESL.So can you imagine, like, my parents.like my parents what they were going to.No.
11:42That was what stood out to me so much toobecause obviously I knew the story was beginning in the 70s.But then I was like, oh, you can't like it's like you're saying,even the letters are going to take a month or more to get to you.Like the level of isolating is so different without being able to connect.And then it was almost a year or more than a year.before he got to call you guys and even talk to you.And I was like, that would be wild.
12:14I know.And, you know, a phone booth.And can, I mean, I, when I was writing, I think the second story actually for mewas more emotional than the first one.Yeah.Because I'm a mom.And I put myself in my mom's shoe, my parents, actually, shoes.Like if I had my child going 4,000 miles away in another country, not knowing anyone
12:43with a completely different language, how, and I just wait, like, it would drive me crazy.Yeah. My son is in Southern California and I, we share location because I have toWhat's in a while?I have to check and make sure, you know, he's okay.Yes.So I cannot imagine how goal-oriented, you know, my parents were, especially my mom.I actually, I don't want to put my dad down, but it was my mom.My mom was the visionary.
13:28She pushed us.She motivated us for.higher education because that was the only thing she knew would give us a much better,much better life and a better opportunity.Yes, that's, it's really clear in the book.We get, we get Mosun's character arc as well.And I'll dive more into his as well as kind of a bridge for you guys.But a big motivating force was your mom who really wanted this for our.
14:02all of you and wanted you to to have these other opportunities. Did you ever get to kind of talk to herabout what her experience was like with that? With having Mosen come here. Yeah. And then like,and how motivated she was to help the rest of you get here. You know, I never, I actually wantedto write my mom's story. Yeah. But, you know, and she was living with me. So it was very,for me to just I mean eventually my parents became citizens of this country andthey moved here especially when they were older so they lived with me but theissue was you know I not the issue but the challenge was you know I was workingfull-time I was writing most of the stories I was taking care of my son you
14:59know I'm this college year so I I couldnot get to it. And I gave my mom a tape recorded. I said, Mom, why don't you tape? Just recordyour experience. But she never did. She just was always into cooking, you know, helping outhere. So no, unfortunately, and you know, my mom is gone. She passed away in 2018. So unfortunately,say those, yes, thank you. So those stories are gone. Yeah. I've gone with her.She may have felt kind of what we were talking about too. I wonder like it might have been thesame as Mosen. Like she might have been like, I'm here now. Like yeah, I don't necessarily want togo back to that. Yeah. It could be. Yeah. It could have been part of it. Yeah. And my mom actually
15:54also encouraged me to write Mosen's a story.because, you know, especially when he was little, the kind of stuff he did, you know,finding money from a trench or building an incubator so we can, you know, he would raisechicken, so we have chicken for food, you know, things like that, all making a rifle, you know,most of us saw something and he figured out of the way to make his own.own kind of, you know, invention.Yeah.Something that actually worked like a real instrument that you buy from the market,
16:41but with very minimum amount of price, you know, costs.Because you go to the dumpster, find the, you know,different gadgets and bring them home and put it together.Yeah.So my mom saw that and she always wanted me,or somebody to write his stories because they were just so interesting as a young boy.Yeah.It's the kind of stuff he did.
17:10Yeah. Well, and it sounds like being innovative was always a part of his personality.Yeah.And then that probably kind of helped him as the first one who moved here and was having to figure out a lot of things.Yes.And I think that's why.you know, as I was writing the second story and the challenges most went through,I think that's the reason, because my mom saw what he's capable of doing, you know.She knew that this guy figured things out, you know, even in a country that we don't know anybody
17:53or the language is completely different.she knew in her heart that he can manage it and she trusted her intuition and sent him allright for for better opportunity that's yeah it means yeah it sounds like she really knew himvery well yeah yeah um so he so he he gets here as we've talked or as we've mentioned and he'scompletely alone and isn't fluent in English. And you include this one, this one story as well,which was kind of interesting to me because I live in a suburb of Indianapolis, actually.And I was like, how have I never realized this about the word? There's a moment where hebasically pronounces it. Indiana police.
18:52Yes, and it's not wrong. And even when I hear you say it, like my brain is hearing Indianapolis even.But it is kind of, I mean, I'm sure still very scary for him, but there are like, there's some of these, some, some levity to some of these stories.Yeah. So was it fun kind of finding like some of the humor amidst everything he was going through?Yes. Yes. I'm glad you brought it up because, you know, he.he talked to that guy who was sitting next to him on the plane.And he was actually, as I wrote in the book,he never corrected him and he claimedthat he traveled back and forth between US
19:38and Iran for some, I guess, business behaviorsto bring carpets or whatever.Yeah, so when he told me Indiana police,I said you mean Indianapolis.And then no, no, I didn't.I really call it Indiana police.And then the guy, the security guards at the airport, they were looking,they thought that I am a prisoner of some sort.
20:08And I am supposed to report to go to the prison.So that's why they were looking for an escort, you know,so that they will deliver.a criminal to whoever.And when he pulled out the letter and showed that it's anEnglish as a second language.Yes.Yeah. So yeah, that was funny. It was,
20:40there were some funny moments and I don't know how much of the book you've read.The part of us, yes, and then the part that he took out the breasts of the,the, the, um,of the customers just to clean up her chest.That was funny.So, you know, my brother, he has a great memory.Unlike me, I don't remember much about anything.Even, I don't.
21:08I honestly don't.When somebody says, can you tell me something funny from Iran,I have to think very hard and I probably won't even come up with a memorybecause I just don't remember anything.remember anything but my brother remembers the smell the feet how he felt his memories are amazingso even here in the US he remembers every little detail so it as we are talking he remembersthings and he would like I've we just finished talking and I'm I don't know driving somewhere hecall me and say hey Sarah I have something else to tell you I just remembered
21:56something and he would tell me as I'm driving and then as soon as I get home so thatI'm not forgetting I would put the general information down and then we wouldpolish it yeah yeah yeah I'm very lucky that he remembered names yeah feelingthe scenes, he remembered everything.And he still does.He still remembers.Even to date, he remembers all, you know, whatever happens to him.He remembers.
22:32Wow.I admire that.That's so cool. Yeah, that he's able to.Yeah.Yeah.So, I mean, especially, and then it's kind of cool that maybe you don't have as many ofthe memories, but you can write them.Yeah.
22:45And he remembers them.Yeah.So you kind of get to.Yeah.Yeah.benefit from each other's talents essentially. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, well, so we mentioned he does show uphere and like isn't isn't entirely fluent, which sounds so intimidating to me. I've beenworking on Spanish for like a year and a half. And I did it in high school. And then it for I forgot
23:14it. And then I was like, you know what? It would be nice to just pick it back up again.And I'm still nowhere near fluent. Um,I can't imagine if I like needed needed to be able to communicate that.Did you did it feel like how overwhelming was it for him?And then similarly when when you came, what was that experience like as well?So with with Mosen, I think because he came, he was older.He was almost 20 to the day when he came to the US.And I think learning a new new language.
23:49it has its own time.I think your brain is more susceptible to, you know, learning.I'm sure you know, children and you just, you know, take him to a country.They would pick up the language.They don't even have to think about it.So for him, I believe it was much harder to learn the language as opposed to us.Because we came much younger, not, you know,I was a 10 years old. I was a teenager, a young teenager when I came. So it was easier for us to learn the language. And I think when by the time we grew up, you know, there was like radio stations that spoke English. So I used to listen. I love the language, English language. So I was listening.
24:49to a station, you know, and they were Americans in Iran back then.Yeah.Because of the oil industry, we had a lot of Americans who came.So they had a American channel on TV.There was an American station on the radio.So I would, as I was studying, I would listen to American station,you know, radio station.And I, you know, I would pick up.
25:17So for me, it was easy.I didn't even have to go to ESL.However, when you start talking, it's a different situation, you know,because when I came, I honestly thought I know the language.I did, but it was like reading a book, you know, but not talking.Same for me with Spanish.Yeah.Yeah.
25:45So they talk really fast.and the slang you know they just know what does that mean what does this mean so it took ussome time to get used to the to the language for me and mosen always encouraged us to haveto associate with american or non-ironian friends so that he would encourage us to speakenglish yeah and he would say nope no iranian friendsjust American.I'm not kidding.He would monitor.
26:21He would sometimes come to the libraryand see, okay,who are we studying with?And then when we were American,we were around Americans,he would be smiling.He would say anything,but he would just walk,
26:36you know, walk past us.And he did the same thing.He, in the beginning,he only had American friends.And at ESL,there was I think Chris and David there were his buddies that you know they did a lot of stuff together sohe did the same thing himself just to improve his language and you know he told us I rememberhe said don't be afraid to speak because once when you speak you just you learn it much better
27:11when you hear yourself talk you hear yourself better and then alsowatch TV. We watched a lot of soap operas.Yeah.To learn the slams, really.So yeah, it was learning. I think learning the language was the hardest to get adjustedcoming to America. Yeah. Yeah, totally. And he, it's so fascinating because I think it wouldbe easy for him to be either jaded or, you know,maybe not want to make friends with the American students as much just because his experience
27:52was so different than theirs. So while they maybe were there on scholarship or they had accessto their parents bank account, he didn't want to take stuff from your parents because of likethe situation they were already in. But he still he still did want to like to be friends withthem and to find his way to kind of fit in in his own way for sure.And it could have been really easy not to do that, I think.And to me, it was just that his determination to get through school was so, like,respectable and impressive where he was going to Washington to, or Washington, D.C.or Washington, Washington, D.C.
28:43Yeah.To make enough money to keep going to school.That's right.Basically.Yeah.And do you think he was just, do you think it was kind of like just his personalitythat he was that determined?Yes.
28:56Like, yeah, he was just going to do it no matter what.Yeah.I mean, I think it's ingrained in him since childhood.He tried to financially help the family.Right.Even though my family, I mean, I think my parents didn't recognize how much he grasped as a child.You know, like in message in a matchbox when we finally bought a house and my parents didn't, they sold everything that they had.They used all of their savings to buy the house.
29:37So, you know, then here is most in trying to find metal pieces so he can go sell it to bringing a little bit of money for my parents.So he proudly, when I was writing the series, he proudly said, with the exception of the $300 that I had in my pocket when I came to the U.S.and also the money that mom, you know, my parents paid for the ESL, which I think was like $700.I did. I never asked for money. I paid my tuition myself. And honestly, when Mosin came,the plan was not for us to come here. The plan was, no, the plan was for him to come.graduate and go back but it just happened that my older sister she wanted to get herPhD the PhD program was very difficult to get I mean it wasn't difficult it was liketwo steps so when she called Mosen he said just come here and apply to a graduate
31:02school then go all the way you don't have to stop on itYeah.Reapply for a PhD program.So, you know, that's how he was able to, that's how we all came because there were somechallenges internally and then my mom would pick up the phone and say, you know, Sarah andmy other sister, they didn't pass their entrance exam.They can take it next year because it's only offered once.But, you know, then my most son said, why waste time?
31:40Just bring, I helped him come here.So he would just volunteer for them, for us to come.And that's, you know, I have seen, and my friends, you know, they all say, yeah, you know, I was also poor when I came.But I asked him, how many of the siblings did you bring none?Right.Right.But my brother brought five of us here.Yes.
32:07And I think by the time the last one came, he was only, what, 27 years old?Wow.Yeah.Yeah, because it was kind of the course of four years, right?Yeah.Yeah.He was just a young man himself.Yes.
32:25Really, someone needed to help him.I know.I know.You think in your 20s that you're like,such an adult and you are but you're not like even just the second year in your 30s you're like20 20 is a baby yeah I know it's a lot of responsibility yeah as he's able to um help you guyscome over it seems like it it almost um kind of validated everything for him like it was wortheverything he went through to be able to help his family this way.
33:05Yeah.Is that is that kind of what what what it felt like for him?You know, he doesn't look at it that way.It's weird.You know, when we were writing, I said,most things you realize you helped, first of all, you helped mom reach her goal.He just said, yeah, goes, I guess so.know you you know like no no I think about it I guess so and he just thought he was helping his
33:39siblings he does he does not even it's just he's such a humble guy and as I sounds like it yeahand I as I'm you know as I wrote the the stories I love him more and more you know and I Iknow his personality I know his characterI'm getting, although, you know, there's like a 12, 14 years difference between us, you know,but we become very close.Yeah.You know, our relationship is very close.Mm-hmm.
34:20It was, he does, he sounds very, very humble.Like, he's like, I was just doing what I was going to do and then I can help them.I know.But he was obviously so alone at the beginning of it.And then there are some key people who were like a big part of at that time,him starting to even like understand American culture.And you mentioned a couple different Thanksgivings, actually.And then you also mentioned when like as he was learning about like American food,
34:55especially through Thanksgiving,that he wanted to cook Persian food for his friends as well.Yeah.And it was reminding me how much you were also saying how he remembers like the smell of things,even like in Iran.But it was reminding me how much like food is like a really big like cultural,like a shared cultural experience.Yes.
35:16And so what was it like kind of learning about those like those stories that he had andhim like getting to cook for his friends as well?Yeah. So it was very interesting. First of all, I think his friends, the fact that they were open to try something completely new, especially, you know, eggplant to me is like something new, not everybody likes eggplant.Right.You know, so, and then when he told them about the ingredients, I forget, Megan, it was her name of Megan.She said, let's do it. Let's make it.And then he was very happy to, even now, when he comes here, he cooks for us.He just said, wow, I want to cook.
36:04So he cooks for us.And sometimes he is his own critic.So he says, no, this is not very good.This didn't turn out very good.But, you know, I think because we were.less privileged, you know, food was very scarce in my family.And I think when he saw at, you know, Thanksgiving, so many, so much food on the tableand more were coming, you know, food was coming.
36:45So he was, like, shocked, like, how much food can one afford?because we when we had gathering honestly there was one dish one salad and bread that was it yeah yeahyou know so when when you see plenty of food automatically you know especially first time you havenot seen so much of it all at the same time it just shocks you but and I think to to datefood is very important to mosen yeah yeah you know he he thinks of food as something yousit together celebrate together and enjoy together yeah it was reminding me of actually i um i interviewedmarjan kamali about the white woman of turan yeah and it's the same like she evokes like all of thelike smells and like all of your senses to the point that like it felt like i had been
37:52had been there and I have not.Yeah.Yeah.Yeah.Persian food, you know, you can, because we used to live in an alley.So as you're walking from door to door, you can, you can actually the aroma.You can know, okay, this neighbor is having this, this neighbor is having that.Oh, yeah.
38:13You know, because of the aroma of the food coming from, from each household.Yeah.Yeah.Yeah.is it's such a it's such a gathering moment like you're saying it's very social and a lot of i meannot not every time you eat but it is it's such a it's such a big part of relationships friendsfamily all of it yeah yes yes i loved i loved that he got to share that with them and like you'resaying that they were so open to it um i know i i said you know how i mean from all the food
38:49because this was his favorite food, you know, the eggplant.He just said, let's make this.And, you know, and I said, they wanted to try it.He said, yeah, it was, and we ate all of it.We ate everything.Good, good.And around that time, he meets Karen, who he goes on to marry.Yes.
39:20And I thought it was it was kind of cool when your sisters and you start coming over as well,Karen kind of becomes like an important part of that as well.And it's kind of like you guys kind of get to come to two people who are who carey about you.I loved that when they were even buying a house, he was like, I need an extra bedroom.And like she was like, yeah, that makes sense essentially.Yeah.Yeah, what has it been like with Karen basically for you as well?So, you know, even to date when she's still here, she's a grandma now with three granddaughters.
40:04You know, sometimes I actually apologize from her because, you know, to me it's like they were,Mosin and Karen were newly late.Right.And here we are one by one, we are being for lack of.cover, but they're being dumped on them.You know, like, oh, another one is coming.Another one is coming.But, you know, she was very open to it.
40:29And I think she loved Mosin so much that she wanted to help.So this is something.And I'm not saying, I think this is somethingthat you don't see in traditional American families.Yes, I mean, especially well.men. You know, I can see guys being more open to it. I paused there because I didn't wantI mean, I'm a woman myself. I didn't want to label us. But women, you know, they're veryparticular about, you know, we just got married, we need our privacy. We want to, you know,
41:10start a life together. And especially, you know, there were both students somewhat. They financiallywe're not doing so well themselves and here we are you know I come with my sisterand then we leave and another sister shows up she leaves and another and a brothershows up and I mean if I were Karen I would say when is this going to stop you knowso I yeah she laughs when I ask when I tell her you know I'm sorry for what we didfor you she goes for what i'm like we kept dumping on you oh she sounds wonderful yeah she's a verynice movie yeah yeah the the the other thing um my brain my brain just gave up on me there for a secondoh so once we get to that point there is like a really there's a contrast between like at the
42:12beginning of the book, him showing up and being alone. And then now he gets to be like the, well,the actual, you are actual family. And Karen is like found family essentially. But now he,he gets to be there in a way that, um, that like he didn't have when he got here. And it sounds likehe's just very humble about it and kind of, oh, you know, I was just doing what I was doing. But it alsoworks so well in a story arc. So when you kind of like sat down to start talking to him about this stuff,did you know that that's kind of how the story arc would go or go from him being isolated to likebeing able to create a space where you would come over and not be isolated or did you find it as you wereinterviewing him? Yeah, we found it. I mean, I found it as we were going, you know, through the stories.
43:10And I mean, I, you know, I think it's because he's, he's an open-minded guy.He's a kind man.He's very humble.He tries to help.So, you know, I think those, that personality or that character of him, you know, brought people to him.And he, there are, Ardy, who was.his roommate. I don't know if you remember. He's in the book. They still talk. They still talk.Oh, I love that. Yeah. They still talk. And then I, I reached out to Ardi. Oh, yeah. Not longer.
43:52And I said, hey, Ardi, I published a second book. You're in it. He said, oh, my gosh, I have to readthe book because we had some wild times together. So. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah. So, so cool. Yeah.That is why he, like, cultivated such powerful relationships that, like, some of them just lasted all the way through.Yeah.He doesn't have many of his child, you know, the college friends.Of course, I mean, I don't either.But the ones who he did, he still keeps in touch.They're very loyal.
44:30And they talk about, they mostly talk about the past.It's so weird.They talk about the past as opposed to the present.I think they had.such a good life, you know, carefree, you know, life that, you know, it's more.Yeah, it's easier to revisit. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yeah, definitely. I think like the motivating factorfor all of, or most of you, if not all of you, too, was related to education and whatcertain educations that you could get in America could do for you. And so,
45:09How was like education and kind of like the American dream kind of all intertwined for you guys?Yeah.So, you know, education, because my mom was the motivator, so she pushed us.She pushed us.And, you know, my mom finished.She was 14 when she got married to my dad who was only 18.So my mom didn't even get a chance to finish school.something she wanted to do.
45:42She actually wanted to become a lawyer at some point, but, you know, being married was very important back then.So they married her off to my dad.So my mom was a motivator.So when we came to the, and my mom is like, I don't care how you do it.You have to figure out a way to get good grades, for example.So, you know, when we came to, to, you know, when we came to, to, you.US, as I mentioned, it was very difficult for us to, you know, to understand the language,especially, you know, I was taking biochemistry, wow, which was very difficult, you know.
46:26That's hard if you know English, if English is your first language.Yeah, so what happened, Katie, Kate was, I was in the beginning, I was taking nobut my my notes were really half-assed because I first of all I couldn't listen I take notes at the same time because I just you know by the time I wrote one sentence the guy was the instructor professor was almost finished with his lecture so I borrowed a lot of notes from my classmates and not just me my sister my mosen too I didn'tmy other siblings also. And then eventually we invested in a tape recorder and I would just put it onthe desk. I asked Professor if it's okay if I record his lectures. Yeah. And they were gracious,you know, they were gracious enough to approve. So I would put it there and I take the tapehome in the evenings and I keep replay, replay and I take notes, you know. Wow. Because I was,I was sort of embarrassed to constantly ask my classmates to borrow their notes. Yeah.
47:51You know, I mean, I mean, one time, two times, but, you know. Yeah. So I, I would stay up to sometimes1 a.m.Wow.So I can catch up, you know, and I only had one or two cassettes because we couldn'tafford buying.Oh, yeah.So I had to constantly re-recorded.Yeah.
48:13Right on the existing one.So I had to make sure I'm taking the note.So it was very hard, you know, for someone who, someone who, for an American whojust go to the class, understand the subject.or even if they don't, they just read their notes or read the textbook and do really well in the exam.We had to work, I think, six, seven times, not more, to get the same grade as my American classmate.So it was hard, but we did it.We all graduated with good grades.
48:54Yeah.So, you know, and my mom, I don't think there was an option for me not to finish.I know.You know, shadow of my mom was always following me.Yes.Yeah.Good grade.Yeah.
49:14Yeah.Outside of the fact that it was like, I'm here, so I kind of need to.It's also your mom as well.It's like, do it.Yes.And I could, I had to get passing grade.because I did not financially I could not afford taking the retake a class rightafter pass right yeah it sounds like you have some of your brother's resilience as well
49:39I mean I think yeah I think you know yeah I think you know as an immigrantand I don't know if that's if that if it's that fire yeah being passed on toyou know you have to do this or else kind of you just you just do it you just do what you need to doto be successful right yeah and i know you mentioned um like at least mosen was thinking about goinghome and that that was that the case for the rest of you like you guys thought you were going to goback? Yes, yeah, because we all came before the revolution. Right. The last sibling came in1978. Yeah. So the revolution had not happened. So the goal for all of us was to finish,go back until 79 things changed and the revolution. And my parents, we were still in school.
50:50it wasn't like we finished.We were still in school.Then Mosin was already married to Karen,so Karen was not planning to live in Iran.So for sure he was going to stay here.Right.But then, you know, when we finished school,my parents had tried to find a job or not come back.
51:16So that's what we did.We found jobs.And then, you know,we all got married toyeahstaywas it was it jarring for youthe realization that you were probably going to stay
51:30like was there some some grief involvesor was it just kind of likeI am here I'm getting my educationlike I kind of know what I want and I can do that here tooyeah you know I thinkbecause when I think I wasmaybe a softmore when it happened. And I honestly didn't think the revolution, the existing government
51:58will last as long as they did. I always thought that they would be gone. But then by the timeI finished school, I already met my husband now. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So then, and he's not Iranian. He's from,actually, he's from Pakistan. So.So then we just stayed here and have our family.The same one of my sisters, she married an American.The ones who married Iranians, they ended up having children here.Yeah.The thought of going back really didn't occur to us anymore.
52:42Okay, yeah.Yeah, it didn't occur to us.And then we ended up bringing our parents here because there was.were not as complicated than I'm talking about before year 2000 so we were able to get theirgreen card easily and then they became citizens eventually.Good.Yeah.As you were telling this whole collection of more stories, were there any, I mean, I know
53:14obviously it started with you being surprised by him talking about being homeless for three,days slash nights.Was there anything else thatreally surprised youabout kind of likebringing these stories together?Yeah, you know, I think when Idon't think when I was
53:34writing a message in the matchboxsome of the storiesactually made mevery sad and Igot very emotional and I had to stopbecause I was crying.Yeah.The new
53:49home buying a new house or not new, buying a new house really got to me.Because I didn't know, I had no idea how poor we were until my brother talked aboutit.And then so as I'm writing this, honestly, I'm thinking, you know, how is it that we wereso poor that, you know, my sister was eating.paint from the chip you know chip the paint from the walls and eating and then here we arein in america i i you know people who have i know my friends there were a lot more well to doi mean they were actually well to do they had like they would go during summer they had a garden
54:41you know somewhere they they spend their summers there for me my summer was very boringwe couldn't really do much and my parents were constantly working.So as I'm writing the stories, I'm thinking how in the world, you know, a family is so poorends up having six out of seven children coming to US, getting higher education and doing well?Yeah.You know, I mean, thank God we are at a point that I can actually help somebody else.Yeah.You know.
55:27So that really got to me.It's like, did my, did my mom, did my mom pray and wish this so hard?Right.That her wish was granted.And the universe aligned or did something.just like, okay, you want it, I'm giving it to you. You want it so badly that I'm giving it to you.My cousins were from a much better, you know, financially were in a much better situation.But none of them are as educated as we are.
56:11Yeah.It's just, you know, those kind of things, yeah, make me wonder.like how how is that even possible yeah being so poor and end up being in in the country thatthings are so expensive for if that right yes she really did manifest it for like she waslike this is going to happen yes honestly i i i think so my mom manifested it and she got it was so coolI mean, it is a testament to like a mother's love can take you really far.Yes, that is true.And it can be so powerful.
56:51Yes, I totally agree.Yeah.Well, I find that I this whole book is inspiring.It's empowering.I think it's a great story about family as well, obviously,and how in really healthy, or not even really healthy, but just,in good families.Like you can make so many different things happen and pull together with each other.
57:20And I really enjoyed it.So I am glad that you asked Mosen to remember all these details that he has stored up in his right.Yeah. And, you know, as I write their stories, I honestly think that you don't have to really be rich, you know, like money-wise to get some.you know all you need is determination yes working hard and working smartly yeah and some good people in your lifeyeah yeah yeah well I really really loved it everyone can go get a copy of it right now it is it isavailable to everyone I don't know if you're a big reader but I do always ask at the end if there are anybooks that you recommend, like that you always recommend or that you read recently and loved.But if you're not a big reader, it's okay too.
58:21Yes, so I used to read a lot before I started writing.Unfortunately, right now, my, you know, because I have a full-time job and I do thisonly on weekends, you know, I, I, because these books are set published, so I have to marketit myself yeah I do all the kind of contacting here and there so but I used to when Iused to read I Wally Lamb was one of my favorites yeah Jody Pico was one of myfavorites Elizabeth Burke I loved her stories I think while you were goneyeah she wrote that book yeah soYou know, those are some of my favorite authors.
59:16Yeah.You know, Dirty Pickle, I, you know, I think my sister's keeper.Yes.And then a couple of other books I read of her.So unfortunately right now, the newer authors.It's okay.I don't have time.And I do belong to a book club.
59:38Yeah.And they always say, Sarah, come by, you know, at least.read part of the book, I'm like, I don't have time. Maybe one day. Yeah. I have more chance.Oh, yeah. It all shifts. Your priorities are constantly shifting in life. Yes, that is. I got to,I got to see Jodi Pico at an event like two weeks ago for her. She just had one come out. Yeah.Yes. She just had one come out called Hollow Bones. And she was, she was very fun as in, in conversation, basically.But yeah, she's fantastic.Yeah, she's.
01:00:14So you mentioned you are self-published.Is there anywhere people can follow you to stay up to date with you and support your work?Yes, definitely.So I have an Instagram.It's called At Tales from Iran.Okay.I have, I actually recently just went through some of my picture albums.I actually have albums.
01:00:39Yeah.from the old times that my parents gave me.Oh, that's cool.I took some of the pictures and posted some of the character,Mosen's, when he came to US with long hair.Oh my gosh.And when we came to US, some of our very, when we were very young,I just posted those.
01:01:00I saw, I found their wedding pictures,so I have to get permission if I can put those out from care.Most of it is okay with it after ask Karen if that's okay with her.So yeah, so I am, I put my posts there mostly and then Sarah Ashandy.com, I have a website.I'm also on Substack. I just joined it.Oh, nice.Yes, recently.I think stories of resilience under Sarah Ashanti on there.
01:01:34Okay.I think I joined last week or two weeks ago.Oh, perfect.Yeah.Yeah.I always post the episodes there, so yeah.I'll tag you and we can get yourself going.Oh, no.
01:01:45Thank you.Yes.I will do the same.Yeah.And then, you know, my books are on Amazon.And, you know, if your readers happen to read the book, I really appreciate a review because those help us a lot.You know, the reviews on Amazon, you know, brings more, more readers.more readers to the and I'm also good reads. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Awesome. Well, I'm going to put all of those
01:02:16links in the show notes so people can easily find it all. I really loved reading your book. Ireally love talking with you and thank you for sharing Mosen's stories. Thank you formining his memory so that we can all kind of hear this inspiring story. Yes. Thank you.Thank you again for having me here. It was fun.
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