Clutterbug - Real-Life Hacks and Tips to Declutter, Organize and Clean your Home Fast - Do you have a messy home? It’s time for some TOUGH LOVE | Clutterbug Podcast # 95

Episode Date: July 11, 2020

I've been sugar coating it for you. I've been tip-toeing around you so that I don't hurt your feelings or scare you away. Today I don't want to do that. Today I am dishing out some tough love. Don't hate me.        You can find more Clutterbug content here: Website: http://www.clutterbug.me YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@clutterbug TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@clutterbug_me Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/clutterbug_me/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Clutterbug.Me/   #clutterbug #podcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, it's going to be a hard podcast. Today, I'm just going to get real with you guys and give you some tough love. Hey, clutterbugs, welcome back to the clutterbug podcast. This is going to be a really hard podcast for me to make, but I've been wanting to do either a video or a podcast about this for a really long time, but I'm scared. I'm scared to hurt your feelings. I'm scared to offend you. I'm scared.

I'm a people pleaser. and I don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable in any way, but you have to feel uncomfortable. And this is what I'm really noticing in my own life and with clients. We tell ourselves lies to stay in our comfort zone. We have limiting beliefs that keep us in our comfort zone. And there are reasons that your home is cluttered or messy or you're resistant to get on top of things or let things go.

you're resistant to have a home that just is effortlessly tidy. And I know you're thinking, who doesn't want that? Who doesn't want a home that's always clean and tidy? But if your thought is, that isn't realistic, though, that will never happen. But what does it cost me? I don't want to spend hours every day cleaning. I don't want to be a clean freak. I don't want to be that mom who's always cleaning and never spending time with the kids.

I don't want to be a minimalist and get rid of things. If you're seeing that me telling you that you can have the joy that comes from having a clutter-free home that always stays that way, if I'm telling you that in your first instinct is that negative association, yeah, yeah, right, that wouldn't happen, it's too much work, it's too much money, maybe for other people, I don't want to be a clean freak, that's why it isn't happening for you. that feels so uncomfortable for me to say, but that's the truth. You are in your own way because you just are not allowing yourself to have it. And I can tell you, I can tell you a thousand times, you guys, decluttering is going to change your life. It will increase your happiness. It will reduce stress. You'll have more time.

You'll have more money. And this is the one thing that people really don't understand, but it's true. I can say this to you. But if you're not ready to hear that, it's just going to be falling on deaf ears. And I think so many of you are there. I get messages every day. I just opened up my email today. I had dozens of emails.

I just went on to my Facebook messenger hundreds of messages from people, showing me pictures of their space. It's filled to the brim. There's clutter everywhere. say, help me, do you have tips, Cass? And what they really mean is, what product can I buy that's going to fix this? Because when I say, I need you to get rid of half of the stuff, I need you to get rid of all the things you're not using and loving, they immediately stop listening. They shut down. Why? Why? If I told you that you could trade the things that you don't use in love for a home

that is always clean and tidy and clutter-free, would you do it? Would you trade the stuff you don't use or like anyways for that? Yeah, you'd be like, okay, here, here's a pile, give it to me. But that's what I'm telling you you can do. You can trade that stuff for a clean and tidy home today. Why are you not doing it? Why are you reluctant? What is stopping you?

What are your limiting beliefs? What is your brain telling you? I say to you, grab a garbage bag, open up a drawer, open up a closet, look in all your nooks and crannies, and fill it with things you don't use in love. Why do you not want to do that? Is it that you're like, oh, it's going to take forever, I don't have time? Or I'm going to regret getting rid of things. I don't want to be a minimalist. What lies are you telling yourself? Because here's the truth. That Walmart stuff that's all over your house that you don't even like or you don't. use, that stuff that's filling up your home, it's not worth it. It's not worth you having to

tidy. It's not worth the amount of time that you have to clean before company comes over. It's not worth you feeling like a crappy mother and homemaker because you don't have a home that's effortless to take care of. And I know you probably don't believe it, but I'm telling you, I do not spend a lot of time cleaning and tidying my home. And the reason is I have less stuff. That's it. Organizing helps. I can't lie. Getting organized is a big part of it. But the biggest part of you do nothing else, it's decluttering. It's removing the junk from your home. If you want less stress, declutter. You want more time with your family? Declutter. You want more happiness? Declutter. You want more abundance in your life, declutter.

If you're spending your day cleaning up after your kids cleaning up after your life, it's time to start living it. Why are you wasting your time tidying and cleaning when all you have to do is let go of the stuff that isn't serving you that you don't like and that you don't use? I'm not suggesting you become a minimalist. I'm not telling you to get rid of things that are important to you. That's not what this is about. But your anxiety, your fear, your resistance to have that success,

that's telling you those lies that it's going to cost you something that it isn't. There's nothing, nothing, not one damn thing in your house that is worth you living every day with mess. nothing. I don't, even the baby pictures, even the sentimental stuff, that's not even worth it. And I'm not asking you to let that stuff go. I'm saying that broken vacuum. I'm saying the clothes you don't wear, those bills that you paid last year, all of that paper that is not serving you, it's not important.

Why the heck is it in your house? Cleaning supplies that you bought that you never like so you don't use. Broken things. Excess. Why is it in your home? Toys that your kids are not playing with. Why? Why is it in your home? It's stealing your time and it's stealing your space and nothing is worth that. You are the one who's in control of your stuff, not the other way around. And I know you might be thinking, well, it's easier to say Cass and I don't know where to start. You start by grabbing a garbage bag and filling it up. You put down the excuses. You stop getting you. In your own way, you stop letting fear control you because here's the thing, it isn't easy for

anyone. And being brave doesn't mean you're not afraid. It means you're scared and you're doing it anyways. And decluttering is being brave. It's trusting that you know what, I may let something go that I'm going to regret, but I'm worth more. I'm going to regret not letting things go. way more than I would ever regret that extra spatula or that iron if my iron breaks.

We're not keeping duplicates. We're not keeping things out of fear of tomorrow. We're not keeping things because we spent money and we wasted money and we feel bad about that. That money is gone and spent and holding onto it is just keeping you down. It's keeping you low. If you want to really change your life, if you want to really change your life, if you want to really have all the things that you're craving, it starts with getting control of your home. It starts with grabbing a garbage bag and filling it up. And then 50 more. It starts right now with having less. And there are limiting beliefs that you're probably thinking and feeling

right now. I feel so awkward saying this to you because I'm always so nice. I'm like, start with garbage bag therapy and start with things, you know, that are just trying. or try 21 things a day because I'm tiptoeing around. I'm tiptoeing around so I don't offend you. But when I'm dealing with a client, this is what I'm really saying to them. I'm slapping them across the face with my words. I'm shaking them and saying, wake up. You don't even like this crap and it's ruining your life. It's making you miserable. You're cranky. Your relationship is strange. You're resentful of your kids and your spouse. You're resentful of your house. You wake up in the morning and you look at a pile of dishes and you instantly are like, just like this isn't fair.

I'm angry. And the dishes would be no big deal to do if that's all you had to do. If all you had to do was dishes, laundry, occasionally dust and mop, wipe a bathroom, done, How amazing would that be? But you can't do that because you're picking up things all the time. You're moving things around. You're shuffling stuff. You're spending hours tidying before you can even clean. It's exhausting and it's completely unnecessary.

When you have removed things from your home that you're not using and loving, your drawers are going to be more empty, your closets, your cabinets, it takes a second to put things away. It takes a second to organize. right because you have the space if you're struggling to get organized yes you probably don't know your organizing style and that helps listen i got to say that but that's a small part of a bigger piece and the big piece is it doesn't matter how organized you are what systems you buy how many containers you purchase how many shelving units you have if you have too much stuff you are never going to get

organized. You are never going to have the home. So then every day I get an email from someone and they're asking for advice and they're showing me photos and they're like they want some product that's going to save their problems. I want to scream. You have too much stuff. The organizing comes later. You're blinded by crap that you don't even like, that you shouldn't have bought in the first place. And I'm on a soapbox right now, you guys. I am. But I do it do. I do it too.

But the more I decluttered, the less I started. Like, I stopped buying that crap more, right? Like, I used to love thrift stores and garage sales. Oh, it feels so good to get a bargain. It feels so good to find something on sale. It feels good to get new stuff and it felt like crap to get rid of it. But the more I got rid of it, I saw the correlation. Oh, my God.

My life is easier. It's like, I'm spending less time. cleaning and organizing. I'm just happier with less stuff. My life is simpler. And overall, that brings me so much more joy than that yard sale find. I stopped going to yard sales and thrift stores. I got joy from other areas of my life. And that, I mean, we buy things. We buy things because we want to feel happy. I'm telling you, you can feel happy all the freaking time just by having less. And maybe you're not ready to hear that. Maybe you have limiting beliefs, you have, you have negative thoughts. Maybe you're afraid to succeed. Maybe you're

afraid to really be happy. Maybe you think, okay, you succeeded, but I'm going to fail, so why would I even start? I don't know, but I'm telling you, you can trade the junk in your house that you don't like and use for more time and more happiness today right now. That's what it is all about. We don't have to overthink it. And I'm always like, well, here's some decluttering rules to help you. And I dance around the subject. And I try to make it, I try to make it as kind as possible because I am afraid to offend you.

And today, I'm just not, tomorrow I'll be afraid to offend you again. I will tiptoe it around and I will give you little baby steps that you can do. But today I don't want to do that. Today, I want you to have it now. And that's why the Marie Condo method works because it's like ripping it off the bandaid. And it does. It works. I don't think you should pile all of your clothing up in your living room.

But if that's what it's going to take, then do that. I just recommend you grab a garbage bag and you put down all. of that fear. You push through it. You say, this is scary. I might regret getting rid of this, but I don't care because I'm worth it. The risk I'm going to take is worth the reward I'm going to get. I want you to gamble because the only thing you have to lose is some random crap and you have everything to gain. You have so much more to gain than you have to lose. What is something? stopping you. And even if you're coming from a place where you're like, well, Cass, my house is pretty tidy. It's not that bad. I just need a few little organizing tips here and there. You still

have too much. I promise you you do. There are places that you still need to go through and thin it out and edit. And by doing that, you're going to be so much happier. If you have boxes in the basement that you haven't opened, why? They're going. You have. have things from your parents who have passed away that you feel obligated to keep? No. They don't want you to keep that. They want you to be happy. They want you to have more time and more space. That's how you honor people. Maybe your mother-in-law gave you some hideous purse and it's in your closet for everything. Why? It's gone. It's gone. She'll never know. And even if she does, You just be honest.

I'm trying to simplify my life. I want to spend more time with my husband, my kids. I want to love my home. I want to put myself first. And that comes from having a stable foundation. And the foundation of your life is your house. Every single other thing is based upon that. Your finances, your relationships, your career, your success, everything.

Your home life is that foundation. and the only thing you need to do to make it really stable is be in charge of it. To not fill it with things that aren't serving you. To let go of all the past stuff that you've held onto that you've moved past of. Let go with the fear and the anxiety. Are you lacking the confidence to make decisions over what to keep? Are you not trusting yourself to make the decision, do I like this or do I not? Do I use this or do I not?

Do you not trust yourself? This is fear. You're fearful. It's insecurity. But I'm going to tell you something. Your fear of making a mistake and doing it wrong is the biggest mistake you're making in your life. You're going to have the fear, but you're being brave and you're doing it anyways.

You're afraid that you're going to try and fail. You're failing by not trying. You're miserable. your home is full you're dealing with mess and clutter you're resentful of having to pick up after your family all the time it's time to stop it's time to stop it's time to grab a garbage bag and get rid of all the crap it's time to just rip off the band-aid and put yourself first and and tell yourself yeah i'm scared i'm scared i'm going to regret this but is this thing worth what it's taking me what it's costing from me no It isn't. Trust yourself. And I'm not going to lie. Maybe you'll have things that you'll regret.

Maybe you'll regret getting rid of that, I don't know, extra spring jacket a year from now because you've lost 10 pounds. Oh well, oh well, you sure as heck will be happier every single dang day of your life because you have a home that isn't a ton of work, that you can have guest stopped by at any moment, that you wake up every day and feel good about yourself because, your surroundings are calm and relaxing and you feel calm and relaxed. Being brave doesn't mean that you're not scared. It means you're doing it anyways. It's time for you to be brave, you guys. It's time for you to be brave and take control of your home. It's time to let go of the stuff that isn't serving you. It's time to grab a garbage bag and look in corners and closets and drawers. You can do one a day. You can do it all right now. Keep. letting go until you can't find anything else that you don't use in love.

If you're not using something, throw it out. Throw it out. So many people are like, oh, I should donate it. It's still good. If the donation centers are not open, you throw it in the freaking garbage because you are more important that that thing. Your kids are more important. Your relationship is more important.

Your house is more important. No regrets, no guilt. No looking back. The life that you create. crave is waiting for you. The life filled with abundance and happiness and, oh my gosh, so many things. Everything changed for me when I made that leap from being a person who just accepted that I was messy and I was always going to live this way, to making that leap of none of

this crap matters and I'm ready for a change. Oh my God. Every aspect of my life changed. My finances. not even my career, obviously that changed. My relationships, my stress level. Oh my God, every, every single thing changed in every single person I talked to who has been through it says exactly the same thing. It's time to say goodbye to the junk that you thought would bring you joy because it's just making you miserable.

Stuff does not make you happy. That is a lie, that TV and commercials and magazines. tell us, true happiness comes from just being proud of yourself, being happy with your life, simplifying your life, finding joy in real things. And when we're surrounded by junk, we can't see the forest for the trees. I know, this one was harsh, but I just really felt a need to say it. And I hope I'm not offending any of you. And I'm hoping, you'll come back and listen to my podcast next week where I go back to being people-pleasing cast and give you like short little try a 21-night-of-toss and today find 10 things that you can

let's just deal with expired medication today um that's that's me being fearful of offending you it works it works it's the approach that I started with I started with a little bit here and there really slow but now I see that we can rip off that freaking band-aid too and the only thing that does doing it slow does here's what doing that slow does it slowly lets you realize it isn't as scary as you thought it's it's like cognitive behavioral therapy you're doing something over and over again a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit so you don't have to be brave you don't have to be brave you your fear lessons slow slowly over time until it's gone.

But let me tell you, being brave is going to get you there so much faster. And so this whole time I've been telling you to do it with baby steps so that you never have to feel uncomfortable, so that you never have to go out of your comfort zone and do something that's going to make you like, oh, Cass, I'm getting emotional, I don't like this. on the other side of those uncomfortable feelings, if you're brave enough to push through it and do it anyways, that's how you're going to get there fast, and you're going to have the life that you're really craving.

So thank you guys so much for listening to this podcast. Hope you still like me. And I'll see you guys next week.