Daily Motivations - EMBRACE THE PAIN

Episode Date: October 1, 2024

The pain you feel today is the strength you will feel tomorrow. Speakers Jocko Willink (via Lewis Howes) Jordan Peterson Marcus A. Taylor Cru Mahoney William Hollis David Goggins Eric Thomas Les Brown Tyrese Gibson Kobe Bryant Mel Robbins Greg Plitt  Cru Mahoney Israel Adesanya Gary Vaynerchuk Coach Pain Kobe Bryant Bobby Maximus Patrick Bet-David Alex Hormozi Ryan Holiday Tim Grover

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Bet on the sports you love with BetRivers Sportsbook. Take a chance. We'll be right back. No, this is real. You need to love pain. It gets harder for anybody that's living and breathing. So no matter what you do, you got to keep moving forward. Strong in the trenches. You don't know where you're going. You're lost. You have no direction. So for me, I felt like both of them together, when you really, when you have the vision and you're going you're lost you know what i mean you have no direction so for me i felt like both of them together when you really when you have the vision and you're able to manifest and you also put the work in magic happens man magic that's where the magic is but a lot of people never get there unfortunately a lot of people we're blessed that we can dream

i gotta get stronger i gotta train differently The weight training program that I'm doing, I got to tailor it for an 82-game season so that when the playoffs come around, my legs are stronger and that ball gets there. So I look at it with rationale and say, okay, well, the reason why I shot air balls is because my legs aren't there. I go, well, next year they'll be there.

That was it. Done. Done. Come on, where are your values behind the scenes? What do your habits look like behind the scenes? Come on, what kind of work are you putting in behind the scenes? Come on, drop down and give me 50. Come on, write it again.

Come on, believe it again. Come on, sing again. Record the song again. Come on, I'm talking to that athlete. I'm talking to that musician. Come on, who are you out there? When you are committed, you give everything you have. Every single day, you are either losing ground or gaining ground.

The choice is yours. This time, make it personal. Attitude goes a long way. So again, going back to this guy here, Chadwick Bozeman, rest in peace, passes away. Four years has calling cancer. No one knows about it. He goes to the doctor. That means that this doesn't mean he's not taking care of his body. He's going to the doctor, but he doesn't advertise his pain. Sometimes it's just good not to advertise your pain. Sometimes it's good to not just tell the whole world what you're going through. I'm not telling you don't talk about it with a group of people.

I'm not telling you have some private conversations with certain people. I do believe in the ability to have some kind of a form of a release. But the way people are doing it right now, posting everything on Instagram, all this other stuff. What's the point behind it? You need attention. Is that what you need? It's not necessarily mental toughness. Mental toughness people are not looking for attention. Mental toughness people are trying to get results. You need attention. Is that what you need? It's not necessarily mental toughness. Mental toughness, people are not looking for attention. Mental toughness, people are trying

to get results. A big difference. I don't drink. I don't smoke. I don't F around. I don't party. I don't go out. Am I lame for that? Absolutely. To be lame in the eyes of somebody I would never want to be like is nothing but an absolute success. You see, it's only an uncertain person that needs company in what they do to feel like it's the right thing. But real confidence stems from doing what's best for you, even if that means doing it alone. My biggest confidence comes from consistently pushing myself and leaving no gap between what needs to be done and what I do. On day 1962 in a row of running every morning. Look who's out here with me.

Not a soul. Master's fine. Put a smile on your face. Bet on the sports you love with BetRiver Sportsbook. Take a chance. Must be 19 plus. Available in Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact ConnexOntario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. There's no such thing as a free lunch. There's no magic pill.

And there are no three easy payments of $9.99. If you want something, if you want to be good at something, you want to accomplish something, you've got to put in the time. And the minimum amount of time that you can put in is an hour a day of dedicated practice for six straight months. If you want to be good at something, you've got to do it every day. Like we look at people like LeBron James. Why is he good at basketball? Because he does it every day. You look at Wayne Gretzky in hockey. Why was Wayne so good in hockey? Arguably the greatest of all time because he did it every day. And so my number one piece of advice to people, if you want to be good

at something, whatever that thing that you desire is, whatever your passion is, do it every single day. That's the real secret to success. Hustle is putting it all in a line. Hustle is waking up one day, the day before you die and realizing you gave it your all into the parenting of your children, the building of your businesses, the philanthropy that you wanted to do. Whatever you define, it's just, you know, all in. There's a difference between something missing and am I satisfied, right? Because I'm not satisfied. I mean, I always want to build.

Like, I never get done with the end of the day and go, cool, mission accomplished. Like, it's like, yeah. ET, aren't you ready to take a break? Yes, I might be, but listen to me. I can't. Why? Because I grind for Jalen. I grind for Jada.

I grind for Didi. I grind for my mother. Are you hearing what I'm telling you? I grind for Vanessa. I hustle for her. So the days I want to hit that alarm clock, I think about my why. I can't quit. The Achilles were like the kiss of death for athletes.

I don't know if I can do this. I don't know. There's so many factors. There's the surgery that has to take place. The surgery has to go well. And then it's a tendon. I'm not dealing with anything that's muscular, things that I can control. I can't control a tendon.

You know what I'm saying? So, like, I don't know. It's a long, long process. But, like, when I went in the It's a long, long process. But, like, when I went in the trainer's room, my kids are in there. And, you know, they're looking at you and stuff. And I'm looking at them. And I'm like, you know, it's all right.

Dad's going to be all right. It'll be fine. It'll be all right. It'll be all right. It'll be all right. As a parent, you got to set the example. You got to set the example. This is another obstacle. This obstacle cannot define me. It's not going to set the example. This is another obstacle. This obstacle cannot define me.

It's not going to cripple me. It's not going to be responsible for me stepping away from the game that I love. I'm going to step away on my own terms. And that's when the decision was made that, you know what? I'm doing it. I'm doing it. Champions keep going when they don't have anything left in their tank. That's the difference between the greats.

That's what separates them. When they don't have no more. When it's over. When they're tired. When they're frustrated. When they're ready to give up. When they spent their last dime. That's when they get started.

Are you hearing me? It's when you have nothing left. It's when you depleted all your money. When all your energy gone. When you have nothing left. That's when it's showtime. When you find a way out of no way, when you find breath that you don't have, when you find energy that did not exist, when you want this thing as bad as you want to breathe, that's when you find a way. You still got work to do. Stay on that basketball court. Stay on that football field.

All the homies texting and calling and trying to make you feel bad about being so focused. It's grind season, homie. It's not about today. It's about the future. You do the work now. Do the work now. And all of this shit that you could ever want to do

for your family, your your kids your loved ones It's all gonna be on a whole nother stratosphere You know you got to take ownership of what's going on in your life when you're not where you want to be and you say It's because the boss doesn't like you or it's because the girl treated you this way or the guy did this like all those things You got to take ownership of and if you're blaming all these other external things you're not going to make any changes and that's going to be a problem it's then that's the problem too if you're chronically rejected by people it's often because of your own insufficiencies you know whether that's cowardice or lack of social skills or whatever it is it's like you can't just brush it off as, oh, well, you know, no one likes me, but really I'm okay.

It's like, no, no, wrong. If everyone rejects you, there's probably something wrong, and it's probably deep and difficult, and it's going to be horrible to fix. And so this isn't a trivial problem. It's not a trivial problem at all. Todd, I'm sorry, all right? I screwed up.

I know I screwed up. I know I screwed up. Oh, great. Of course. Here it comes. You can't keep doing this. You can't keep doing shitty things and then feel bad about yourself like that makes it okay. You need to be better. But yet you're fully committed to sabotaging yourself and your career. Then you're sitting back stressed out and depressed, wondering why. Why ain't things happening? That's the answer. I just gave it to you. It's about as real as it gets. The question is, what are you going to do next week, two weeks from now? You're in your own way. You are the reason your career is not on the next level. Nobody else but you. When you don't have a true appreciation and acceptance for who you are,

and you allow yourself to be immobilized by fear, what happens in the process is that you begin to abuse yourself. You begin to sabotage your life. You begin to sabotage your dreams. You begin to unconsciously work against yourself. You become your own worst enemy. So what do you do about that? Well, you begin to realize that your dream and your gifts have so much meaning and so much value for you till your hunger for them will begin to push you past the fear. Your hunger to have them will give you a special drive. You might be sitting there wondering if you're going to wake up tomorrow and do the thing you said you would. But why on earth would you wonder? This thing

you're so uncertain about is literally you. There's nothing in this world you have more control over than yourself. But if you decide to wake up every day, surrender that control to chance, I guess you'll be stuck wondering forever. This disconnect between you and you is unnecessary though. The pattern of hoping you fulfill the role of a better you and disobeying that desire every time is completely in your hands. It's a recipe for no self-respect. So there's some certainty within yourself that needs to be built. That's not going to happen by accident. If you look in the mirror and you ask yourself,

what do you have to do to be successful? I promise you, your heart will tell you. You've never looked at yourself in the mirror and said, you let you die. Until you get to that point, you let you die. You've never, you're not brave enough. You want to put it on somebody else. The reason why I'm not successful is because of my boss.

Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror and said, I'm not getting up on time. I'm not going to work on time. I'm not putting in 120% when I'm at work. I let me down. You always want to blame other people. You always want to hold other people to the fire, but you're not holding yourself to the fire. You just said you're giving 50%.

You owe you an explanation. You owe you an explanation. You need to look at yourself in the mirror and say, why are you only giving 50%? What's wrong with you? You need to put yourself on punishment. You need to tell you no more TV, no more snacks, no more desserts. No more, no, we working out now. No more alcohol.

Not right now. Not, no, I can't handle it right now. You need to tell you that you owe you something. This is you that you owe you something. This is you versus you. Most of us, we live in a box. And we don't want to go outside that box at all. Ever.

Outside that box is all these possibilities of life. What we do is we shackle our mind. We are a prisoner in our own mind that this is all I can do. This is all I'm good at. And we take away the possibilities that you could be this, you could be that, you could be all these things. And I never thought at 300 pounds I could be Nick Sim. So if my mind was shackled, me and you would never meet. There'd be no book. There'd be no book. There'd be nothing.

So what people understand is that they live for themselves, not knowing that you have the power within yourself to change millions of lives by facing life, by facing yourself. If you're struggling, if you're frustrated with yourself, if you're at that point where you're so sick of yourself and your excuses, I've been there, Stephen's been there,

this is a normal part of the human experience. And at some point, either the pain is going to get big enough or you're going to bump into somebody's story somewhere on this planet who has been in the position that you're in right now, facing the stuff that you're facing right now. And there is something about their story at this exact moment in time that will ignite something in you that is missing. And what is missing in you right now is hope. If you set your own value by what you believe about yourself.

If you think that you're worthless. If you're not very good at it. Other people pick that up. It doesn't matter what lifestyle you have. It doesn't matter what walk of life you have. No matter what you do. If you allow excuses to tell you what to do, then ultimately the excuses have more control of you than what you have of yourself. So get up, work hard, put some effort into what you want out of life because all you have is you.

All you have is what you have inside. Don't wait for somebody to tell you what to do. You know what you need to do. Get out there and get it done. Because that's ultimately what it's going to take. You have to have the courage, the will, and everything you have inside to get to the level and beyond the level you want to be. Life does not stop until they put you on the ground, my friend. Strong mind is a catalyst for change. When you see the best athletes in the world either perform really

well or on the other hand completely bomb out, it's because of that muscle that lives between the ears. It's interesting to me that the comfortable route is seen as the safest path but the undeniable disappointment that comes from giving up the ideals of the true self doesn't seem so safe to me. Don't indulge in the comfort that comes before and after, because that comfort is nothing but a lie. So what kinds of things, what kinds of thoughts are you feeding your consciousness? What kind of things are you putting in your mind that will enable you to either move forward or to justify why you're staying where you are? What really breaks my heart is how stuck people are. And that there are things you can do to change your life for the better.

And if you don't have hope and you don't have this breakthrough where you have for just a millisecond this insight where you go, well, what if things did work out? If you don't have that moment, most people stay so stuck in resignation. so it's time to come face to face with pain look yourself in the mirror and ask yourself how much more can you take because what hurt you what it's what what tried to cripple you and kill you only made you stronger.

You have the capacity to whatever comes up, to handle it, to face it. And rather than feeling powerless, you begin to feel powerful. My content creators, my entrepreneurs, my musicians, come on, my keynote speakers, my captains of industries, my CEOs, from the captain to the cashier, there is more in you. Stay-at-home father, stay-at-home mother, lawyer, doctor, hygienist, author, I don't know who you are, where you're from, but there's more in you. You may be holding, maybe dying on the inside, but you still got life left. When you are starting out, I think you got to find the thing that's the pain and like pain motivates significantly faster and stronger than pleasure does. Like people were like, no passion is the right way. It's like point a gun at a family member. All of a sudden, 10 out of 10 motivation, pain.

And so like, I think people should use their pain more. What matters is at some point, you have to identify what you want to do and you've got to become the best in the world at that period. And so you say in your life, well, something grips you and fills you with interest. And you think, well, should I do that? And the answer is, if not that, then something.

What if it's a mistake? It's a mistake. Rest assured. What do you know? You're going to stumble around, right? And what's going to happen is this. You're going to move. You're going to not stay in stasis.

You're not going to wander around in circles. And I see people like that. They said, well, I never knew what to do, and now I'm 40. It's like, that's not so good that's not so good and you might say well and there is a literature too that suggests that people are a lot more unhappy when they look back on their lives about the things they didn't do than they are about the mistakes they made while they were doing things we have these these um idealized versions of purpose that I think Instagram and all this stuff kind of make terrible. But, like, I think there's a lot of honor in work, period. And I think a lot of people fool themselves by thinking that what they do for some reason is not honorable.

If you build, you're building a muscle either way. You're either building the muscle that says, I do what I say. I keep the commitments that I make, or you're building the muscle that says, I make excuses. I don't do what I say. I can't be counted on. Right. And so when we think about discipline, it's really about what promises are you going to keep? And the tricky thing is you're keeping promises to yourself that nobody even knows that you made. Right. It's not it's not like, hey, you made this. I don't write this book by this time. Like, you know, I have to do this embarrassing thing or, you know, then I'll retire.

You know, there's not even you're not really putting your ass on the line in that sense, but you've said to yourself, you're going to do this thing and building that muscle is really important. I mean, sometimes you have to let other people's dreams for your life, die for yours to live. And for me, it was like, when I, when I continued to every day, not want to wake up, that was my wake up call where I was like, either I continue to live this way and not want to be alive, or I just risked the fact that I'll die to everybody else. And I think that that like, it was the hardest decision in my entire life, by far. All the hard stuff we went through, still the hardest decision in my life.

Is your foundation and your fundamental principles so strong that if this thing was to go away, could you still create happiness and success all over again? If your foundation and principles are extremely strong, no matter what endeavor it is, you look at the most successful people in business and everything else, they've gone to do multiple things that have allowed them to create different levels of happiness within that confined circle.

You know, Michael had basketball. Then he had the shoe brand. Now he's got other endeavors. He's involved in a lot of philanthropy things. The competitive nature doesn't stop. And everybody thinks you can only be happy with one certain aspect in your life. You can create happiness in multiple things in your life. And if it gets to the point where it is burning, it is burning you

out. That means it's time for you for that. You are no longer obsessed with that thing anymore. And it's time for you to become obsessed with something else. So my obsession became that humans are the ultimate adaptation machine. We are literally wired from the ground up in order to grow and improve under stress and pressure. So it's like, what's the phrase? Pressure can burst pipes, but it also creates diamonds. So it's like you need the pressure. And yes, it can hurt, but it can also make something amazing if you're willing to put yourself in that situation.

So it's a weird twist of fate that humans, in order to build the muscle, you first have to tear it, right? Yes. But once you accept that that's how it works, you can do extraordinary things. The satirical and the ironic and the troublemaker, the comedian, the fool, the fool is the precursor to the savior. Why? Because you're a fool when you start something new.

And so if you're not willing to be a fool, then you'll never start anything new. And if you never start anything new, then you won't develop. And so the willingness to be a fool is the precursor to transformation. And that's the same as humility. And so if you're going to write your destiny, you can do a bad first job. You're going to get smarter as you move forward.

They really want what they want and they really end up getting what they want because they have to have it. They're obsessed about it. And anytime they're obsessed about it, they start figuring out creative ways to get what they want If it's a girl if it's a business if it's a position if it's a certain success If it's accolades if it's certain place they want to be if it's a certain lifestyle

They want they're gonna figure out a way to get it because they're obsessive. They have to have it. They're just wired that way I was saying what I said earlier about like I believe these things to be true about the universe or like the world. But a lot of those are like, what do I believe about myself? Which is like, I can choose to do work in this way, which then I can derive joy from. So like if I'm just traveling shit,

I can choose to be like, I will be the best shit shoveler because I believe that I will figure out how to do this more efficiently. And I will, you know, I will, I will get better and I'll have calluses on my hands and I'll have a better back and whatever. Um, but I will do this well. And I think you can find joy in work if you decide to do it.

Um, going back to the only belief that matters, you said it, it's your, the way you act is ultimately all that matters. And the way you act follows what you allow yourself to believe. Maybe a better way to say it is what you choose to believe. So if you choose to believe that your energy and efforts will result in more skillset, then you will actually put energy and effort into getting that, which means you actually will get the skillset. But if you think, well, my talent and intelligence are fixed. So no matter how much I work, I'm never going to get better, right? If you don't think that putting time and energy into it will yield anything, then you won't put time and energy into it and you thusly won't get the skills. So, and if you don't have the skills, then you can't do the things other people can do. And

so people just get stuck because they don't have the only belief that matters. So they don't put the time and energy. And so that's like where everything starts is, are you putting the time and energy into getting better? Yes or no? If you didn't withdraw in fear from everything that life threw at you, who could you become? Thinking, overthinking, and when you overthink, usually you don't go to the positive. If you make all the right decisions, but you have, like, you absolutely think that it's impossible for you, but you still do the right things. You will win. Mediocrity always attacks excellence. You know, it's, it's kind of a rule. No one's attacking a couch potato, but the moment you start to walk toward your dream and you start to break habits, you start to change relationships

that no longer serve that dream. You start, uh, you start to be talked about. Now, many people are afraid of failure, which really means that they're afraid of being ridiculed. But once you become aware that you're going to be ridiculed if you fail, and you're going to be talked about if you succeed, then you're able to put that aside. Because you know you're going to be talked about either way. No matter what, yeah. Or if you go forward and succeed, they'll say, oh oh it was luck you know you know whatever they say about you so once you get out of your mind or become aware that people are going to talk about you either way

then you go for it you're alive here you are you got these problems to contend with and if it's an impossible task then how could you be anything but hopeless and desperate but then you think well wait a second how would things transform if i took this on as a voluntary adventure you know regardless of its scope and the scope would include unjust suffering death and hell and and that's a that's not just some religious or metaphysical vision it's like no no you're actually going to have to contend with that in your life in whatever way those things make themselves manifest to you personally yours that's coming man and so maybe you better get prepared so you can't say you want to be successful. You can't say there's

certain dreams and goals. There are things you want to have and things you want to be. If you are still average success and average have absolutely nothing to do with it. That's what I'm telling you. Your boss can't stand average. Your coach can't stand. Your teacher can't stand at your spouse. Listen to me. Your mama might put up with it. Your teacher can't stand average. Your spouse, listen to me, your mama might put up with it. Your daddy might put up with it. But listen to me very closely. Nobody really likes average. Some people have a problem for every solution. Some people don't believe that they can achieve at a high level. Some people are okay doing what average people do, doing just enough to get by.

But that's not you. You have dreams, you have goals, you have aspirations, you have desires, and you are taking action to make all of your dreams a reality. If you practice forthright and voluntary exposure to that which terrifies and dismays you, it transforms you. Much of the biochemistry of motivation and emotion is transformed when you take a stressor,

which could be oppressive and paralyze you and cause you to withdraw and you reverse that you decide to advance it's like a different spirit inhabits you and i mean this physiologically there's a whole different pattern of being that makes itself manifest in you neurologically and psychophysiologically and pharmacologically. So you take it on as a challenge, right? And that transforms you at a cellular level too because one of the things we've discovered in recent years is that if you do something new and complex,

then that turns on new... that parts of your DNA that haven't produced proteins before will start producing new proteins and reconstruct you from the cellular level up. So it's a deep transformation. We have no idea how deep. And again, you could ask yourself, if you didn't withdraw in fear from anything, from everything that life threw at you, who could you become? The only belief that matters is that if I put energy and effort into getting better, I actually will get better. And so you can look at anything and say, okay, maybe I suck at this

right now, which was the key realization for my life. Okay. I actually am not good. Like my father-in-law wasn't crazy. I really wasn't anywhere useful for his daughter at that time. My mom wasn't crazy. I really was lazy. Like, so she was just picking up on the fact that I was tremendously lazy. She wanted me to be successful, but she was just looking at my behavior. And so I hadn't been misidentified. People just didn't calculate how much I could change and that I would so grasp onto the ability to change as an emotional life raft. And so the, the big switch was that I decided to believe that I could get better. And once I made that decision, it aligned my behaviors with skill acquisition. And that's all life is acquire skills. it's time to stay focused. It's time to decide clubs, partying,

trying to fit in and socialize, rub elbows with everybody so people can stop calling you weird. Why are you so antisocial? Because I'm trying to get it. Why are you staying on the basketball court so much? Because I'm trying to get it. Why are you out there practicing in the hot sun when ain't nobody else out there?

Because I'm trying to get it. Why are you not clubbing? Like every time I text you and invite you to go do something fun and cool, you always studying because I'm trying to get it. I'm just thinking how funny it is where I'm going to be tomorrow morning and my competition still drinking down their fears and they're trying to escape their current reality. You know, Friday night party. So they're going to go out there and party it up and everything else.

You find some relief through the stressful life they live in. That's a bull temporary relief. I'm working tonight for a permanent relief. That's why I laugh. I laugh at how much further I'm getting ahead of them. Mental toughness isn't something that you sample. It's something that you live in every day. So when something hard would happen to these kids,

like in Hell Week, it would draw on something that made them very insecure. And they look for comfort. Whenever hardness comes, and you don't know what it is it may be different for you than this for me but you go back to your insecurities and then when you go back to insecurities you then look for comfort within those insecurities and we all look for that cookie that your mom used to give you when you were sad when were sick, we look for our wife or our husband. We look for comfort. It's in those moments you must retrain your mind

to think differently. What if I told you this was the last Monday morning of your life? How do you stay driven? I'm going to ask you a question. How don't you stay driven? Let me get this right. You won the lotto of the universe, which is you are a human being on earth. And you you stay driven? Let me get this right. You won the lotto of the universe,

which is you are a human being on Earth. And you're not driven? And you're not fired up? And you're not going for it? And you're willing to sit like a lump and just wait till you die? You suck.