D&D is For Nerds - Into the Island Jungle of Dendar #3 Druids and Animals First

Episode Date: November 24, 2018

Where wash up on shore and assess the space around them.Sign up to our newsletter here; http://eepurl.com/cM3in9Join our facebook group here; https://www.facebook.com/groups/535280830149669/Check out our upcoming lives shows and purchase your tickets right here; http://www.sanspantsradio.com/live/Watch us stream here; https://www.twitch.tv/sanspantsradioYou can now physically send us stuff to PO BOX 7127, Reservoir East, Victoria, 3073Give the gift of Sanspants! https://sanspantsplus.com/give-the-gift-of-sanspants/Want to help support the show?Sanspants+: https://sanspantsplus.comPodkeep: https://sanspantsradio.podkeep.comUSB Tapes: https://audiobooksontape.comMerch: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/sanspantsradioWant to get in contact with us?Email: [e-mail] Twitter:  https://twitter.com/sanspantsradioWebsite: http://www.sanspantsradio.comFacebook: https://facebook.com/SanspantsRadioReddit: https://reddit.com/r/sanspantsradioOr individually at;Adam: https://twitter.com/RetroArchetypeCass: https://twitter.com/JacksonBBalyTom: https://twitter.com/AwkwardTreedShanks: https://twitter.com/timtimfed Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Science Pants Radio. Welcome to the club, kid. That's right, the Midnight Gazebo Club. Welcome to episode 3 of Into the Jungle Island of Denda, a D&D's for nerds adventure. Previously... What do your spider eyes see? Can I reply? Yeah, you can reply in a whispered manner. They just turned invisible. I think they left. Oh my god. Wait, where? Oh, they're invisible.

It's not going to be easy because you're trying to follow someone who's invisible and you're trying to be probably surreptitious about it. It's kind of like just, you know, dabbling around, playing that as I go, just trying to look like I'm just, you know, in a little musical trance. My, as, my, my word, what a rude young man that halfling was. Bongo drums all the way down. Okay, I think he went down. Yes. Okay, let's go. You can hear a distant howling,

like dogs, but coming from a different direction. Ooh. Okay. Look, I won't do anything different. I'll stay, but that is definitely noted. In a split second, Molto Bene and Lunabon, your ally Goody is there.

Whoa, hey. Hello, folks. I heard that you might be in a small predicament and may require my assistance. Oh, Johnny Airwalker, it's so good to see you. You're doing great. Thank you. Nice shots, boy. Thank you, too.

Whoa. In the cargo hold of the Titanic, your battle with the Yonti rages on. And Goody, it's your turn. So I can get the second attack with my fist regardless of whether I'm using Flurry of Blows or not. That's just a standard thing. Yeah. Cool. But if I use Flurry of Blows, I'll hit him and then get out of range again.

That's what I can do with the drunken technique thing. You can hit him and then move back away out of his range so he can't hit you back. I'm going to use my second ki, chi, kai, magic. I'm going to call it Dutch Courage. I'm going to use my second Dutch Courage

point to use Flurry of Blows with the short sword and go for Berat. Your first attack with the short sword is a hit. Your second attack with your fists will be a miss. Can I use that?

Plus, no, you rolled way too low for that. Okay, then, good. Your third attack will also be a miss, but now the card might be a miss. I might just use this card, Adam. Well, then, you do hit instead. So it's a hit, a miss, a hit. Great.

The short sword deals... I'm going to get the fuck back out of the way. The short sword deals nine points of damage. Then your fist deals eight points of damage. So, you deal six... What's that? Eight and nine. Seventeen points of damage total.

Seventeen. What's that? Eight and nine. 17 points of damage total. 17. 17. You're adorable. You slash at his leg with... Sorry, at his tail.

I keep assuming a humanoid anatomy. You slash at his tail. That's very uncool of you, Adam. Don't assume everyone's the same species, mate. You slash at his tail with your short sword opening it up and then you try to you try to plunge your hand into the gap that he made he swipes down knocking your hand out of the way as if like no don't do that but you are insistent you go back in again for it grab and y yank, and you start pulling muscle out.

Good. He is all muscle. That is why we call me goodness, because this is goodness. That's so goopy. I say. It's their turn. She's still in the aura.

She gets disadvantaged to this. All three of you get a good boy card. Hey! She takes 15 points of damage. Fuck yeah. Fuck. Oh, gosh. Yeah, she's going to be gone for a little while longer.

Look. Oh, no. She's hurt. Not even halfway. Is Bear Rat over halfway? Bear Rat is on his last legs. Yeah, fuck you. Is Bear Rat over halfway?

Bear Rat is on his last legs. Yeah, fuck you. I wish I was clever enough to have done that on purpose. She starts to move. Well, she does move out of the aura of the moonbeam now. Her spell has been completed and something is happening. Oh, boy. Perhaps we should try to stop her. We recognize what an iceberg is. We do. Do we see one yet? and something is happening. Oh, boy. She tried to stop her. Yeah.

We recognise what an iceberg is. We do. Do we see one yet? Is there one in the bottom of the ship now and is there fish? Are we underwater? What? Guys, we're also in the cargo hold of the boat. She moves towards you, raises her hands like a witch might in the Wicked Witch of the West might raise her hands.

No, like Emperor Palpatine might raise his hands. And she says, and now, young monk, you will die. Lightning leaps from her hands and strikes all around you. Oh, fuck. She hits you. You take... Oh, no, it's d12s. Oh, fuck, it's d12s.

Uh-oh. You take 19 points of damage. Oh, yikes. Oh, boy. How are you doing? What are you on? Oh, boy. How are you doing?

What are you on? That was my first hit because Bear Rat missed and I got out of his way. So he can't get me again, but she can. By my count, you're on 14 hit points now. Yeah. Then it is... Oh, and Bear Rat gets a turn as well. So who's standing next to Bear Rat right now? I think I was because I had to step back out of the way.

Yeah, made a rapier attack. You stepped back. I ducked back and used a fireball. So, unfortunately, you are the only person standing next to Bear Rat, and thus Bear the full brunt of his attack. He's neither of those two things. He's not. He should be called Snake Boy.

Presumably he has a different name. Like, you can't imagine that Bear Rat is his real name. That's what he was born with. Probably like this or something. Bad riff. Let's move on. Abort, abort. Abort.

His jaw locks around your shoulder molto bene and his claws rake across your back oh boy get a goo boy card for your great sounds thank you oh does it help much

his bite deals 7 points of damage and his claws deal 7 points of damage for 14 total. Oh, that fucking sucks. Takes me down to 19. I've got only 19. I've got 15 here.

Yeah, I think you took some damage before. You were on 29 for me. Oh, okay. Well, I'm happy. I think because he... When did I take damage? I think he slashed you with one of his claws before. Oh, okay. Yeah.

Excuse me. It sucks that my first hit in the fight was a big one. Yeah, fuck, it was. She hit you with powerful magic. Look, she can only do that a couple more times, so... Yeah, but so can we. Yeah. So, Lunabonon it's your turn you can move the

moon beam so that it's over them again oh yes i would very much like to do that all right you do so on the next turn they'll both take 2d10 damage provided they fail the saving throw and you can just have your turn regular as well could i maybe cast my bear totem? Yeah, you can do that. Over us? So is that just me or everyone in the- All three of you will get the effects of it. So we'll all get eight temporary hit points and advantages to strength checks and saving throws. So we should hopefully not have to use our good boy cards.

Oh, great. Or card for me, because you guys have so many. I've got three. I wish I were funnier. Oh, Cass. Don't we all. I thought you were going to get a good boy card then. Oh, no.

I'm not kidding. In my brain, it was like a big, like a raffle wheel or whatever, divided into two sections. One section said mean, the other section said nice and i just spun that fuck anyway uh so you can also cast a spell so what would you like to do oh no wait sorry you that is your action isn't it it's an action to do that ability so luna bond draws herself in mentally deep inside herself and then you see her slowly beginning to emanate like an aura that comes out from her, spreads out across the ground first, but then slowly begins to rise. And above you, about maybe 30 feet above you, the spectral visage of a bear roars itself into existence.

All three of you feel bolstered by the spirit. Thank you, Lunabont, for your bear friend. It is mostly appreciated. And good eat. Oh, no, sorry. Molto bene. It's your turn. Damn straight.

I'm in tremendous pain. I'm still close to bear out, right? Yes. I take out my rap bear out, right? Yes. I take out my rapier and hold it in both hands and just go, and try and stab him in the head. You hit. You stab him straight. Maybe with, oh, no, no, Goody fell back.

Maybe you use the cut that Goody made, though, as like a foothold. Dig your foot into that, launch off, and coming down from above him, drive your rapier deep into his head. You deal maximum damage. You deal 12 points of damage, breaking straight through his skull, skewering his brain, and working your rapier down into his long spine. Berat jerks once on your rapier, and then you both fall together. Berat is dead. Anybody order a snake kebab?

I say that as a matter of fine joke, little one. Thanks, I'm in a lot of pain. Then it is goodies time. So, I'm in a lot of pain. Then it is Goody's turn. So, what was Hellish Rebuke again? I said things on fire. Hellish Rebuke is if you get hit with an attack, you can be like, fuck you, and you get like a free hit back at them once a day. I should have used it before when I got struck by lightning then. Yes.

Yes, you should have. Fuck. Oh, well, here we are. All you really get for free is the sunshine and your name. We both started to laugh when the sky started to rain. That's a song. What song is that? Get Along, it's called, by Kenny Chasey?

That can't be his name. That's such a stupid name. Is it the band Kiss Chasey? No, it's a country music star. Kenny Rogers? Yes. No, no. Kenny Chasey? No, it's a country music star. Kenny Rogers? Yes. No, no, Kenny Chasey. Kenny G?

No. The saxophonist? I actually think it is Kenny Chasey. Kenny Loggins? Kenny. The guy who gave us Footloose? Is that his name? Kenny from South Park?

Goody, it's your turn. I wouldn't be able to get her with a flurry, would I? Yeah, you could. I could? She moved up a little bit, so you just need to move down to her. Great. I'm going to use my third and final... Key point.

Key point to do another flurry of blows. First attack with the sword will be a miss. Well, I'm going to give you that. All right, cool. Great. Chuck that back in the deck, and you just succeed.

Your second attack will also be a miss. That's okay. As long as I got with the sword. The sword's important. You just hit with the sword. You wasted it. I'm so sorry. It's not my fault.

You rolled the dice. I also cheat as well, so. I'm using loaded dice. Which is funny, because you can't see them. It's loaded only for me. At least I get bear power. You deal nine points of damage to her. Great.

Did I get eight temporary hit points from the bear totem as well? Yeah. Yeah. Cool. So you all three, if you have eight temporary hit points, when you get hurt, you lose temporary hit points first, then you're regular. It's like a little buffer zone. Yeah. Cool.

Then it's her turn. Now, you've moved the moon beam back over her yes i have she hisses and screams as it burns at her i don't think she's gonna take full damage this time though oh wait no disadvantage never mind full damage take it don't please don't say it like that. 13 damage. Okay. Oh, Cass, I'm sorry. I was just making a joke.

Yeah, I know. That's really funny, Adam. That's cool. My character's really confident, so I'm just going to play this game. Do you want that bag? Time to die, little one. She launches herself at you, Goody, and drawing a scimitar out of nowhere. She slashes at you with that. And then also her tail whips out and tries to wrap itself around you.

I want to use Hellish Rebuke now. Let's see if she hits. Yeah, she hits with the scimitar. Great. So she will deal you four points of damage, and then you deal her eight points of damage. You get her back, and then some. That's what I'm here for.

I'm here to get you back, and then some. I'm falling in love with you. This is is great as she tries to wrap herself around you fire explodes outwards from you in all directions your hellish rebuke she hisses and screams as the fire engulfs her her body convulses and then falls she's dead yeah that that that is a special part of trick that i like to bring out when people get real nasty to me you look up at the the front of the ship where the little carving is and you can see all the little rivets that make up the different connected pieces of metal the rivets pop pop pop pop pop are being fired outwards like crossbow bolts. The metal is beginning to buckle and then it completely buckles inwards and a giant jagged piece of ice drags itself into the ship.

to the ship. The ice block slowly scores itself along the side of the ship and water floods in at high velocity. Luna Bon. The dogs! I run. I run straight to the dogs. Where's she going? What's she talking about dogs?

As I'm running away. There are so many dogs trapped! Oh boy. I can help! Please come help! I can't see the moon! That's a good boy card. Come on. Get a good boy card.

Yay! Thanks for the pity. I love it. Lunabon, Motoban there, and Goody, you all rush towards the sound of howling. There's a massive block of just cages. In the cages, you see dogs, cats, mice, birds, pets of all sorts. Who owns this boat? Noah?

The Noah of the domestic. They used to call me domestic Noah in high school. That's fucking weird. I'll admit a better joke is a band. Domestic Noah. That's my grunge band. There's no genre. No, it was good as is.

Abort. Abort. Yeah, I'm into suburban grunge. We're called domestic Noah. I'll run into the cages. My sweet angels, what do you need? Moon. Moon.

A fat cat looks at you and says, let me out. Break all these locks. Break all these locks. You're trapped. Get up. I would like to point out that the how much water is coming into the boat at the moment a lot uh the the ice block is just slowly bisecting the ship the water is up to your ankles we need to freeze them we need to go very quick my dear and we need

to go very quick now exactly you're freeing animals the locks they have locks but the locks are like weak really meant to just keep the door shut a dog or whatever it's not going to really be trying to break its way out or not to the extent that it would break even a flimsy lock so these locks are quite flimsy you're breaking them pretty quickly okay so there's an iceberg coming onto the ship can you all swim uh oh you're talking to the animals yes a cacophony of answers i gotta get out of here the water is fucking cold as well you're like well out to sea a cacophony of answers assails you many of them say yes many of them say no a bunch of them say that they're birds. You've got to go find your owners, okay?

We have to let you out, but then we can't... Oh, no, you need to go find your owners. Do you know where they are? A horse in a particularly large cage slowly shakes his head. Hey, what's up? I'm a horse. No, I don't. Oh, no. Follow us.

We have to go back to my room to get Paula. You're swimming, eventually, but you're... Oh, boy! Oh, some of you are swimming. I'm going to put him on my shoulders. Thanks, Scooty! You are much obliged. Unless any of you were forcing Lunabon away,

she's going to break all of them out, I assume. Every single one. Yeah, we understand. We know that this needs to happen. The animals begin to fled. Uh, flee, sorry. Can I cast Mage Hand and get it to go help unlock the

doors? It's like a big floating glove, I imagine. Some of them would probably be just latched, so yeah, you can. Okay, cool, I do that, and it's like Andross's hand from Star Fox. Nintendo 64? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, so the hand comes and starts unlocking the thing the three of you together some of you helping some of you stay afloat some of you unlocking

both in person and remotely you get all of the animals free and they all flee we flee too i need to get back to my room paul is in there there's a general panic and chaos even in the cargo hall some sailors came down to see what was happening there wasn't a lot of time for chatting though maybe you gave them just the bare bones explanation of what happened some came to ccc to see what they could see ccc not that they could see c It was the iceberg, yeah. You're just too good for us. No, I'm not. I'm a shitty person.

I've done things. What? Nothing. You're an angel boy who's done nothing. Nothing. Look, Cass in the eyes. Cass, tell her. I know, it hurts. I get it. Tell her. I know. It hurts.

I get it. It burns. The moon beams. Michael. Yes. You're a sweet boy. I'm a sweet boy. An angel boy.

An angel boy. Don't look away from me. An angel boy. An angel boy. God, I'm so uncomfortable. Anyway, you, the three of you delightful angels flee uh there's not a lot of time for conversation with the crew though so like i said you give them a bare bones version of what happened and they kind of just accept it because they're busy the people on the ship are in a panic there's people

running about you see a lot of people just carrying loose articles of clothing whatever they think they need you run past the person who greeted you on the ship who you know from your time on the ship is the ship's captain he's wandering just as everything's all this chaos is happening around him with like a thousand yard stare and you hear him just muttering as you run past muttering life bots why didn't we make life oh my goodness oh no oh god so they built a giant ship that was unsinkable and they did not put any life boats on it why would we have there were it was unsinkable oh goodness is there like the band around oh yeah you get onto the deck and you can hear the band.

Yes! I run up and pull out my viol and say, gentlemen, it's been an honour, and I join in. But I play the theme from Beverly Hills Cop, and it's inappropriate. Your string, your instrument is wet. This is the worst performance you've given so far, unfortunately. Unless someone wants to help him with a skill check.

I do not have. No, no, it's been an honour, gentlemen, and I scuttle back to my friends. Oh, those guys are going to die. Birds are just flying away. Someone on the deck of the ship, probably up the fore, so the front of the ship probably up the four so the front of the ship the poop day points towards the horizon and says an island an island people start people start freaking out there's land visible land in sight so sure enough all three of you can see just kind of on the horizon it looks so far away especially considering the swim it looks so far away, especially considering the swim. It looks so far away, but you can see, like, palm trees vaguely and sand.

We have to get to- we have to survive this. Is the boat still moving forwards? The boat is still chuffing along, yeah. How much closer will it get before it's completely underwater? You're not sure. You're not much of a mariner. You know what? I'll give you a roll.

Hey! I was trying to think of what I could do. Ah, not much of a mariner. You know what? I'll give you a roll. Hey. I was trying to think of what I could do. Look, you rolled really low. Not low enough I get a bad boy card, but well below making the check. We'll need to get to that island. I don't even know how. I can't even swim. We'll help you.

We could stay on the boat for as long as possible until we absolutely have to swim for it. Oh, and of course you collect your money. Yes. Are you okay, Paula? Yeah. What's happening? Paula, the ship is sinking. What?

There's been an iceberg. The ship is sinking. Do you know what an iceberg is? Lettuce? Yeah. Rabbits love lettuce. Yeah, I know the lettuce. She gets really excited. We've been hit by a big lettuce. Yeah, I know the lettuce. She gets really excited.

We've been hit by a big lettuce. Pretty much. She was a no. Don't scare her. Maybe they think there's going to be some lettuce at the end of this. We're going to go find a nice new life on that lovely island, okay? Okay. Brilliant.

We all good to go? This way, this way, this way, this way. The dwarven shepherd is tracking the dwarf along the deck of the ship. You still good? Huh? I let him go. Are we going to have to make a swim for this island? I think you're right,

and if we can hold it off as long as possible, we should. Hi, let's get to the highest part of the ship and wait until it sinks. You can't swim, can you? I can't, no, but I can sing. Oh, well, we'll be fine then. Is there some sort of boat or something we can float on? Can we break a cupboard or something? What about a door that has enough room for one person?

Sorry? Nothing. Bad joke. The front end of the ship is beginning to dip. You can see it. The back part of the ship is obviously higher. Things are beginning to roll forwards. Okay, okay, okay.

So we need to run to the back of the ship, or otherwise we're going to, you know, right? Right? We're going to sink. We've all seen that movie, yeah. Calling Titanic that movie. We should go back, jump off the back where the propeller is, and come jump between the blades. That'd be fine.

That'd be great. Nothing could go wrong. I think we should get to the back of the ship. All right. You head towards the back of the ship. You are probably among the first people to realize that that's probably the clever maneuver. So you're kind of towards the front of the line when eventually the prow of the ship dips completely under.

And the ship is quite obviously dangerous to anyone who is near the front. People start scrambling and clawing their way upwards. But you guys are probably close enough that you've got a good enough foothold or or standing or something like that you hear an awful the side of the ship begins to break and then the ship tears into oh boy that is three of you that's not what i was hoping to see when i was here today all three of you are thrown chaotically goody you are able to keep your footing and keep your hand hold but molto bene and my best when i'm a little bit

off balance both of you are thrown nearly clear of the ship lunabon you as you begin tumbling see a propeller sticking out of the side of the ship. You slam into it as you fall. Oh, boy, that boy cannot slam. I hug Paula to my chest, making it so that she's got a little shield of my body. You take 16 points of damage. It's fine. Do I still have my eight hit points not not the eight hit points no it's fine don't even stress about it and then you hit the water

well you and molto bene both of you both of you hit the water uh you both take 11 points of damage doing that I swim I try and try and try to get at Molto Bene Molto Bene Silly name Does it actually say you can't swim or have you just decided you can't swim

It's like a hobbity thing to do Molto Bene You can just see light filtering from above you and the light is briefly blocked by a giant figure swimming towards you it grabs you and you latch yourself onto it grabbing like a drowning swimmer might uh but the figure is quite is a fair enough swimmer that they can drag you back upwards and out of the water. You are there next to the dwarf that had the dog. Oh, hey.

Thank you so much. That's so nice. Are you okay there, buddy? Oh, gosh. To be honest, I've had better days, but I better than I was before. Can I keep holding on to you? Of course, of course. We're together.

Oh, that's great. Lunabon, you're also there. But before you say anything, let's just have a quick word from our sponsors. Maybe. Also, if you ever want to send a personalized letter on how much you love me you can send that to p.o box 7127 in reservoir east victoria australia postcode 3073 but you already knew the australia part and remember that i only accept the best quality paper or liquor now lunon? Where's your dog? My dog? I'm not sure, but we need to get away from the ship.

You can already see that the ship, as it sinks, the water all around it is churning, and you can see people too close are getting sucked in by the ship sinking. As soon as someone gets sucked in, the water around them turns red.

Oh boy. I believe it is probably time to exit this vessel and make haste to that island. I will jump off the back of the boat and hope to join my friends. Alright, because it's a controlled descent, I rolled for both of them to hit the propeller. Because it's a controlled jump for you, you'll take fall

damage, but you're not going to hit the propeller. If I did the propeller, I would have died. Funny as. You take five points of damage when you hit the water. For what? As I jump off. Oh, goodness gracious me. This has been quite an adventure so far. Oh, my gosh.

This is just the start of it. I know. We haven't even made it to the island of probable death. Yeah. No, it's going to be fine. It's going to be a great island. It's going to be... I've seen Lost. It's the Dwarf Skipper. Yeah, yeah, Dwarf Skipper.

I'll be Willy Gilligan. All right. Willy Gilly Gilligan? Willy Gilligan. I'll be what's-her-name. The rich wife woman. Oh, what's-her-name. I don't know.

It's been years. When was the last time you watched Gilligan's Island? Like, once. Never. Never seen an episode. Yeah. I've only seen The Simpsons parodies. Anyway, you head towards Gilligan's, I mean the island.

Keep an eye out for that guy's dog. So you didn't see where your dog went? No, I don't. No, we fell. And you're not looking for him. I'm going to die, the dwarf says. Wait, what's that? Oh, no, it's a dead guy.

Sorry, sorry. Oh, he's so dead. Malta, you need to stop doing that every time we go past a body. No, it's just so sad. There are lots of bodies. I mean, they bought tickets to die. Yes, well, we nearly did as well. Yeah, I guess.

We're pretty lucky, hey, guys? There's that optimism that I know and love. The three of you, along with some people on the boat, managed to escape. But a lot of people die. How many? Sorry, people. Animals. Oh, animals?

Some. The horse didn't make it. I think the horse has a better chance than most of them, actually. Can horses swim? Yeah, they can. Really? That's fucking cool. You can see videos of it.

I intend to. Yeah, right. It's good. That sounds great. They kick with their legs. It's great. No, the horse is fine. The horse is like one of the few people who's definitely fine.

Actually, a lot of animals. Actually, most of the small animals are on the horse. That's adorable. It's like birds just perched all along, like a mane almost. That's a very nice horse to allow that. They can fly. That's not a lot he can do. What is he going to do?

Yeah, like a mane of birds perched along him. There are several cats clinging to the side of him, slowly being dragged away. And in his mouth, he's got the collar of a little Scotty dog that looks like it's having a grand old time. This is the greatest invention I've ever had. I love it here. Wait, Shrek was on the boat?

Yeah, Shrek Nice Boulder. How are Yeah, Shrek, nice boulder. How are the animals doing? How are you all? Who are you asking? All of the animals. If they're all on the one horse, I can address them. We're on the island, yeah? Sorry?

Yeah, they're all kicking their way towards the island. They've all seen it. The horse responds. The little Scotty dog says, it's grit. I nod. Just keep nodding as I turn away. They're fine. With some difficulty, you make your way there.

Eventually, bits of wood from a cargo hold and such like that, there was wood on the ship, after the ship is done sucking down, that starts firing itself up to the surface and you can use some of that flotsam. Yeah, flotsam to help your way along. Like there's some wood that you can hold onto, hold to a bend. You can just do a little dog paddle.

And I just kick, right? Yeah, kick. Kick, kick, kick, kick, kick, kick right yeah kick kick kick kick kick kick kick eventually you get i said it was like this great image of you like kicking really hard you bit and all the work's being done by the dwarf very good son keep kicking that's good good boy yes yes good sad boy eventually you make it to the island With the horse Oh, the dwarven shepherd reappears Hey, how you going?

Good smells This is the best trip ever You had a good time? Yes Good Have you seen your owner? Yes Okay, good

Over there The dwarf is right there Good, good People who survived. Good. The dwarf is right there. Good, good. People who survived with us. Anyone we recognize or know? No people other than you three and the dwarf make it. A lot of animals make it on the back of the horse, figuratively and literally.

But no other people wash up, or at least near where you are. It's a-big island or as far as you can tell the island looks quite big so there could be more people washed up around the place certainly the flotsam and jetsam is like as far as the eye can see in both directions along the island we need to get a fire going guys we're gonna freeze to death is it nighttime that's a good idea uh it's sun setting okay right we should get a fire going now guys, we're gonna freeze to death. Is it nighttime? That's a good idea. Uh, it's sunsetting. Okay, right. We should get a fire going now with all of this, well, not this wet wood. Let's get some new wood. Okay, because I'm soaked. Oh, look

at you. You are soaked to the bone. I'd offer you my cloak, but it's wet. Yeah. Or my jacket, but it's also wet. Do we know this guy's name by the name? He's slowly wandering over. Um, my name, hang on, let it's also wet. Do we know this guy's name by the name? The dwarf is slowly wandering over. My name? Hang on, let me look it up. Great theme tune.

One of the greatest theme tunes of all time. As we arrive on the island, someone's just playing. This guy's got a bloody place. A three-hour tour. They're only supposed to take a three-hour tour. And then they got washed up on an island. How?

That went really wrong. Really wrong. That must be close to something. Three-hour. I guess that's true. Unless they got caught in, like, a storm and that took them out further. Yeah, I suppose. The island's pretty nice, though.

They built, like, a mansion. Yeah, out of, like, coconuts and... It's absurd. Not practical. Can we build a Gilligan's Island mansion out of coconuts coconut radio absolutely yeah you do all of those things fuck yes not oh no he got us the worst way to get caught i walked into that poor joke my name is drant ironshield a pleasure. My name is Drant Ironshield. A pleasure to meet you. Hi, Drant Ironshield.

You almost drowned, Ironshield. Oh, those poor people. Yes. Like I said, Malta, maybe not all of them are dead. That might be worse. What's your dog's name? Doesn't have one. Just dog.

Okay. Good. Just dog. Okay. Hmm. Good. I nod. I ask the dog what his name is. What? What's your name? What?

What do people call you? Dog. Is that what you want to be called? What? It's really nice to meet you, dog. What? I'm just trying to give him a little scratch Food?

Ah, nice This is good too Yeah, I just give him a scratch I come over and give him a scratch too What about scratch? Food? Ah This is good too

Hey, you understand animals? Yes Is he saying he likes too. Hey, you understand animals? Yes. Is he saying he likes me? Hey, dog. Yes? Do you like my friend over here? Yes.

He does. He likes you. Oh, and I give him a hug. Okay. This is good, too. I'll produce flame. The horse sits down. Like a human?

No, like a dog? No, like, you know, curls his legs in or whatever. Like horses lie down. Horses lie down. I've gone with old dwarf boy and we're going to get some wood. All right. You and him go and get some wood. Okay.

The many cats are slowly stretching themselves out on the sand. I try and like sit down with my fireball hands and I tell all the cats to get around. Come on, Molto, get warm. Thanks. And I cuddle in as well. Goody, you and the dwarf come back. Drant looks at the two balls of fire and says, Oh, I could have said that you could do that earlier.

Is it Drant or Dr. Ant? It's Drant. Dr. Ant Iron Shield He thought with Jackson not participating in this game He'd be fine He was ring correct Dr. Ant I hate being ring correct Call me Dr. Ant

Dr. Ant. Dr. Ant. Grant. That's what I said. No, it's not. It is. No, no, no, it's really not. I'm pretty sure it is.

Am I taking a head knock from the fall? No, I'm going to block this. With what? Your shield? Sorry. Now, Dr. Ant, we will be able block this. With what? Your shield? Sorry. Now, Dr. Ant, we will be able to build a fire now. We've got the fireballs.

We've got wood. We can get a nice fire going and I think we should bunker down and start exploring in the morning at first light. Yes, yes, yes. A good idea. Take turns to watch just in case there be,

I don't know, particular individuals on this island. Dog! Come over here! The dwarven shepherd gets up Food! Food! Food! This is okay too Dog's great

Dog sits next to his master We'll take first watch if you want to kip for the night I can make a fire Yes, that sounds like a wonderful idea This is like an amenable plan I've spent a lot of my time in the wilderness and this is a good plan.

Well, that's good to know. What are we doing about the horse, the dog, the cats, the birds? Well, we'll have to feed them. Oh. I was thinking they could feed us. Oh, I didn't know about that

It was funny it was good I have rations Do you mean that they will help us find food? I suppose the dogs could yes That must be what you mean Yeah yeah it's what he means. I got rations. Who wants rations?

And I get my rations out too. Actually, we probably should need all of these. Oh, God. Golly. I get my rations and try and figure out an amenable plan to share them. You have five days worth of rations, right? Yeah, I have rations by five. I have rations by ten.

All right, so a horse is going to need four rations worth. We might have to go fishing. The cat's probably good for a couple of rations to feed all of them. Can you talk to fish and convince them to eat our horse? Yeah, that's what I was about to say. Do you think we're going to be eating a fish? Are you a vegetarian? Oh, she's a fish.

Oh, of course. That explains the last three years of dinners. I just imagine you were giving her, like, a steak and she just politely ate all the vegetables. Oh, I'm so full. It's like all my veggies were so salty because I cried so much. I also love the idea of a vegetarian orc, like an orc that doesn't eat meat.

What's funny about that? I'm a half orc. Oh, fair. Okay. Is that strange? Is that strange to you? Why does everyone do this to me? Can you collect berries?

Yes. Well, good. You can feed yourself. As you understand, having traveled with us for some we might, as you understand, having traveled with us for some time, is that you understand that we do need different foods to you, as you have accepted. And we will use the rations

and potentially try to catch some fish, which you cannot eat. I will not eat. I don't think you should catch. Look, I have great foraging skills. I've lived in the wilderness for a very long time. You've known her for a while. She actually does. I can go and get like five days

worth of, five people's worth of food like every day. Oh, that's fair. I believe that. I've seen it happen before too. I think the cats might already be fishing and we cut two and there's five cats with fishing rods going. One cat just big fat eating some lasagna.

Mondays. Know what I mean? Proof. Hey, well the horse can just like eat the grass and stuff, right? We don't need to give him out rations. Don't horses eat grass? Am I crazy? No, horses totally eat grass. It's mostly sand here

actually. There's very little in the way of vegetation. What if we... You could go a bit further in Well, I think we'll need to We'll move off the beach so we're sheltered, I guess Okay, yeah, let's do it When I head in to get my rations It'll feed all four of us

Plus we'll have an extra ration to just scatter on the ground For the animals as well And we've got our own rations too I'll have a look for some grassy patches that can feed the horse. What's a piton? It's a climbing thing. Yeah, you know when someone's mountaineering and they've got the little thing that the rope goes through? Cool.

Yeah. Cool. So, not food. I also have a crowbar. I thought maybe it's like a food thing. No, horses eat pittons. Come on. Moo, moo, moo.

A food thing. No, horses eat pittons. Come on. No, no, no. Eventually, you'll get hungry enough that it'll turn into, like, in your mind, it'll turn into, like, a chicken wing. How's that a crowbar and a hammer? It's a few, I suppose. Yeah, they're basically the same thing, right?

Crowbar and a hammer. Crowbar and a hammer. I'm so sorry. Oh, my gosh. That wasn't me saying they were the same. I was just listing things Anyway Anyway Anyway

I'm gonna say For the first night You are You're fine The first night Will go Uneventfully Both for anyone

Like Do we get hit points back too? Oh yes You are completely healed All three of you Yay Oh thank goodness And I can do all my cool shit again

Yes So Who is going out To get the firewood? Me and Dr. Ant You and Drant Leave to get the firewood No we're just

Sorry that pause was for me to die Slowly We're out walking I'd like to ask Mr. Ant Dr. Ant, Drant What brought him on this here voyage? Family Aunt, Dr. Aunt Drant, what brought him on this here voyage? Ah, family. Just, you know, trying to gauge whether or not he's a snake person.

Well, let me roll your snake person detection skill. Family, I'm on my way to the Dwarf, the Forge Rock Isles. He seems genuine and not a snake person to you. Oh, that's very good. It's very nice that you're here for familial reasons and not for any reptilian nefarious reasons. If you say that, he gives you a weird look and he says, what exactly do you mean by that?

You know that he wasn't in the bowels of the ship and did not know what happened. Oh, it's fine. It's just a little tiefling bit of wisdom that is thrown around. Reptilian nefarious reasons means unclear reasons. He does not trust you, actually. He rolls to get a bead on you. He does pretty well. So what, he knows I'm an alcoholic?

He knows everything he needs to know about you that you're a tiefling that's the only thing he needs to know tell you what anyway while you're searching you're collecting just dribs and drabs bits of wood and you start to come across wreckage from the ship a couple of bodies have washed up on shore. And let me roll to see if you notice her first or if she notices you first. She notices you first. Is that bad? It's probably either starting to set. The sun is either starting to set or it's basically night at this point.

When out of the fronds and vegetation around you, a figure emerges. She's an elf. She's wearing simple sort of leathered armor. But upon closer inspection, as she gets a little closer, you see that there are leaf patterns in the leather armor. And then when she's finally standing in front of you, she moves very quickly and she's like at you in a flash. You realize that the leather armor is in actual fact just tanned leaf hide all stitched together so finely that it looks like one continuous piece. Oh, boy. She has behind her a couple of sorry looking people from obviously from the, in still the rags of their clothes.

And she has draped over her shoulders an unconscious person. Are you from the boat as well? Why, yes, we are. You are not from the boat. My name is Sihal Windwhisper. I am, goodness gracious, but my friends call me Goody. Are there more of you? Yes. Take me to them. Do I trust this lady? Are there more of you? Uh, yes.

Take me to them. Do I trust this lady? Mm, you detect no... Look, you haven't had a... My snake radar's not going off. Your snake radar isn't going off. You haven't, though... This is literally the extent of your conversation,

so you haven't really gotten a chance to get a great feel for her, unlike Drant, where you had some time to converse with him to figure out if he was or wasn't a snake person although i i talked to the people from the boat that i assume i recognize some of them yeah how you are all right they they nod slowly well some of them maybe show you wounds or cuts that they've received but it looks looks like just this. Look at this. One of them. This wound. And this one. Well, when you ask, they think maybe you're a doctor or something, but clearly you're not.

And so any injuries you see that they have, they sustained leaving the ship. Right. So I'm under the impression that nothing bad has happened to them since they've arrived on this island. No. She has not mistreated them. Is that boy on your shoulders a laugh? I don't even know if it's a boy.

He's unconscious. We're all going back to the town. The town. There's a town on this here island. I'll explain on the way. All right, let's go. I bring them back to... I didn't find firewood, but I found friends.

Well, do they have any wounds? Some of them do, yeah. Some of them are wounded. And I say, show me, and they go, this one and this one. Is that all? That's all. Because I think you do have a healing spell. I was wondering if you were planning on using it.

Well, no, I was thinking- You don't have to. Well, I was thinking I might play my song of rest, which I don't have a healing spell, but it is a feature and trait, which basically means that over a short rest, people heal better. Yeah, absolutely. If you want to put these guys down and let them rest, I can do a little jig and sing a little song. Alright, you wait here.

I'll be back when I grab more people. I'm just going to keep looking for people. I might assist you with that endeavor. Alright. Could you please make sure that if you see any animals that need help, just bring them over here. Of course I will. All right. Could you please make sure that if you see any animals that need help, just bring them over here. Of course I will. Thank you.

It looks like you've got the majority of them, though. Yes, well, yes, I think we have quite a lot here, actually, don't we? Yes. Seahole leaves with Goody. On the walk, she explains to you kind of the situation. So the snake people that you encounter, she maybe asks you, actually. I assume you were on a boat. Well, yes, we were on a boat.

Snake people. How did you guess? Are you a snake person? No, no, I'm not. Sorry, I'm a little jumpy, as you can understand. You are, unfortunately, as the rest of us are, trapped on this island. Every now and then, they're known as Yanti. Every now and then, they will, I don't know, from stories, they'll sneak their way somehow onto

a ship that they know will be passing our island, and they sink or scuttle the ship, forcing the denizens of the ship onto this island. They know that we can't escape. There's no wood enough or expertise enough to build a boat that can sail the dreadful seas back anywhere else. Everyone in the town has been marooned at some point, or an ancestor of theirs has been marooned. Oh, boy, that's a lot of information to take in. I am 800 years old.

I'm sorry, how many? I am 800 years old. Oh, boy. My parents were marooned here. How old were they when they had you? I was a babe in my mother's belly when they were marooned here. So you've been here a long time. Quite a long time, yes.

Just quickly, that seems like a very convoluted plot for the snake people to sink a boat in the off chance that the survivors will end up on this island. Well, so once every, we think it's hard to tell, but once every year, roughly, the snake people come to our town. If we put up a defense, they overwhelm it, and they take a sacrifice for their god or whatever. Whenever they sink a ship, especially a large one nearby, to send people here, we know that every now and then they plan a very large sacrifice. Many people. Usually it's one, but sometimes, some years, they come and take dozens. This would be then one of those years. Have you ever seen this sacrifice?

No. They take the people away. Any information we've gleaned is just from short snippets of conversation when they've come to take people okay this is uh reassuring potentially there's a lot of people no one is more displeased by this than i yeah yeah well thank you for your kindness and generosity and rescuing our people and taking us back to your town it's it's nothing are you you goody and uh seahall you collect a bunch more people there's in total in your little ragtag group maybe 50 which is she says seahall says is quite a lot of people for the town you're going to be basically doubling the number of residents. But from the boat, you think maybe a tenth of the people on the boat survived.

Well, blow me. When Seahall returns, maybe there's a little bit of time left before the rest is up. And in that... I'm just going around singing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've got... What instrument do you use? I use my...

I mean, you have multiple, right? Yeah, yeah. I've got a lute, viola, drums, and a flute. I probably use the lute. Right, cool. And I'm all like, song of rest, it's the best. Helps you heal to make you feel good. And that's the song.

What are the good boy cards? No, that was way too easy. Well, look, you literally did better than I could have. Oh, cool. Thank you. What was I about to say? You've got quite an assortment of good boy cards over there. It's a royal flush.

Gosh golly. Gosh golly. Once you've collected the group of people, you make your way back to the town. I'm going to fill these two in on the predicament that we find ourselves in. So apparently this is a snake island. Whoa. predicament that we find ourselves in. Apparently, this is a snake island.

They bring people to this island to sacrifice, or sacrifices plural, to some god. That's not good at all. That afflat has been here for 800 years, and she was born on this island. 800 years? That's super bad. That's the bleak situation that we're in. I really wish I had a drink right now,

but I do not. I got a water skin. Is that the sort of drink you want? Well, I have brewing equipment, but it would take a while to brew. But thank you for trying. Okay, thanks. You're welcome. Will Goody ever get that drink he needs?

Find out next time on Into the Jungle Island of Dendar, a D&D is for nerds adventure. Thanks for listening. If you want to help support this show and all our other shows on the Sandspans Radio Network, just head to SandspansPlus.com and for as little as $5 a month you get access to episodes early, all completely ad-free, as well as a heap

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