Dear Chelsea - Minisode: Switching Teams with Chelsea + Catherine

Episode Date: August 14, 2026

Chelsea and Catherine chat about labels and lesbians.  And a couple with wedding drama may be off the hook. * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Guaranteed Human. Behind every night spent making the kids' lunches, there's a lot of suspense. Will they finally eat the veggies? Will the pastos survive the first bite? Will the lunchbox come home empty, half full, or come home at all? And will you finish episode 8 before you're done slicing the cucumbers?

Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with Craved Netflix and Disney Plus from $94 a month. Price guaranteed for two years on Internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit. Visit bell.za for details and to check availability. Bell, connection is everything. Summer blockbusters are back. The Odyssey and Spider-Man. Brand new day have taken over cinemas, and Raiders of the Lost podcast has all the coverage you need,

including our interview with director Destin Daniel Cretton. What surprised you about Tom Holland? He shows up to every meeting early. He's the first one on set. Aside from learning all of his lines, is also able to memorize everybody's name on set. download the free IHeart Radio app. Search Raiders of The Lost Podcast

and listen now. Hey, Portlandia fans. Carrie Brownstein and Fred Armisen here. The Dream of the 90s is alive in podcast form. We're launching Podlandia, A.O. Rewatch, our brand new podcast where we revisit every episode of Portlandia together, breaking down sketches, going deep on our

iconic characters, and pulling back the curtain on how it all got made. And we'll also be joined by the people who helped bring it all to life. Guest stars, collaborators, and friends, including director Jonathan Chrys, the mayor himself, Kyle McLaughlin, legendary musician Amy Mann, and many more.

Kyle is going for it here. You fully improvised, not just words, but a song. Well, I thought you were all going to write a song. I remember you thinking that. Listen to Podlandia. A.O. Rewatch on the Iheart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman.

Your duolingo is not going to come back to you. when a man is inside of you. Oh, no. I'm Julie Pinero, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word Solita, trading the pity for possibility.

Listen to Solita on the Iheart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, guys, here are my dates for the High and Mighty Tour. In August, you can find me in Calgary, that's Canada. And September, I will be in Santa Barbara, San Diego, New York City, Philly, and New Haven, Connecticut. October is Atlanta, Baltimore, Saginaw, Michigan, Pittsburgh, Toronto, Boise, Idaho, and Spokane. And then in November, I'll be in San Francisco. I'm coming to Salt Lake City, Austin, Houston, Dallas, babies, I'll be there.

And then in December, I am closing out my tour in Denver and Vancouver. So get your tickets at Chelseahandler.com for the high, and mighty tour. Hello. Hi, Chelsea. Oh, hi. Hello, Catherine. It's nice to see you today.

Hi. Likewise. Likewise. I have an update. Okay. This is from our Zasha Mammett episode. Zosha Mamet. It's Zasha.

Is it? Oh, after all that, I'm still saying it wrong. I know. It doesn't seem like it should be. Because we all said Zosha for so long, it's Zasha. Zasha. I just can't get anyone's names right. At least it's like across the.

the board, you know? Right. So no one feels single-out. Seriously. It's kind of like pronouns. That's how I feel about regular names. So it's like, I'm like, how regular people feel about pronouns. I'm like, I can't get your fucking name right to begin with. So let's just forget it. That's why, that's why I'm here to set the record straight. Thank you. Thank you. This is from John. He had written in and like his mom was unsupportive about his wedding to his husband. So he was not sure whether to invite her. So he says, dear Chelsea, I ended up inviting my mother to the wedding, and she responded, a day after the deadline, of course. During our conversation, she made it clear that she was uncomfortable attending the wedding and tried to blame it on the tension between her and her brother, my uncle. Although I appreciate her responding instead of ghosting, I'm sensitive to BS and would have respected her more if she were honest about her feelings toward LGBTQ relationships.

Nonetheless, I found myself less upset about her absence and ultimately chose to focus on the happy of my soon-to-be husband, current groomsilla, and to give my energy to those who have supported our relationship and will be in attendance. We're both excited to be tying the knot soon. Thank you both for taking the time to meet with me during a time of confusion and hurt. It was greatly appreciated, warmly, John. That's nice. I had an interesting conversation the other night at a dinner. Yeah. And yeah, we were talking about, you know, I was talking to two lesbians. Well, no, they're not lesbians. They're just, like, one woman had been, is, with her partner who it's like the first woman she's ever been with.

And she'd only dated men before, but they're married now. They have twins. And she was talking about, like, it was just such an interesting conversation because like in 20 years from now, like no one's going to have to come out. Right. You know, it's like, oh, you're dating a boy this week or you're dating a girl this week or you only like girls or you only like boys. Like you don't have to come out and say anything because she was talking about how when

she realized she was in love with her partner, the always. woman. She was like, okay, wait a second, what do I do here? I have to tackle lesbian sex. Like, I've never done that. And that seems like a challenge. And then she goes, and then I thought back to when I was a little girl and people told me that I was going to have to start giving blow jobs, you know, to guys. And she goes, and that was horrifying. And then you had to be good. Not only you were going to be expected to do that, but you were going to be expected to be good at it. She goes, that was awful. And I learned how to do that. And here I am again now having to relearn something. And I'm like, oh, that's no problem. I have actually already learned this like once. And it was a pain in the

ass. And so I was like, oh, that's such a great way of talking about it. You know, and also I was like, did you have to come out as a lesbian? She goes, that's what I was like thinking and contemplating. Like, do I have to come out as a lesbian? Because now I'm with a woman. It's like she's just fluid. Yeah. Right. Exactly. And like after a while, we won't even be asking people those questions. Yeah, I think, you know, for a long time I consider myself queer, even though I'm married to a man. But I realize, like, more lately, I'm like, I guess I'm pan because, like, I don't know, I'm, like, trans guys are very hot, you know? So I'm like, once you get past, like, the gender of it all, the whole gay straight stuff, but I just falls apart. Yeah, I guess fluid is a reference more to your self-identity, right, rather than your sexual preference.

Right. Yeah. So I guess, I hope it all goes out the window. Yeah. Now, okay, were they friends for a long time first? They had built a friendship, but not for a long extended period of time. They met on a movie. I'm reading this book. We're going to have this guest on.

It's called This Is What Happens When Women Read, which is a great book about this evangelical Christian woman, Juliana Gloss. And then she kind of renounces religion. And she starts reading books, basically, like Pluto and or Pluto. That's a planet. Plato. She starts reading Pluto and Jupiter and Saturn. And she just gives herself a huge, like Darwin. She reads all of these, you know, Socrates, all of these like philosophers and Nietzsche.

And she's just starts questioning everything in her life, of course. And it's like, wait, why is there so much hate? And then, you know, of course, she ends up having sex with women too. Not only women, she's actually having sex with men and women in this book where I am anyway. But it's just so funny how many people end up. makes sense with women that are women and we're like yeah once you get past the prerequisite of like okay girls date boys and you're just like wait no there are no rules anymore and a lot of people open up yeah yeah yeah well our caller today is jen and she says dear chelsea this is some wedding

drama i love wedding drama i genuinely can't tell if my husband and i are being reasonable millennials or selfish assholes here's the situation my husband's aunt is getting married this summer in Belize over a holiday weekend. Important context. She was incredibly generous during our wedding in 2024. She helped pay for our invitations and gave us money to our wedding expenses. We're genuinely grateful for everything she did for us. Now, here's where I'm conflicted.

She is someone who loves to talk shit lovingly, but still, about big elaborate weddings, expensive parties, and over-the-top celebrations. So when she announced a destination wedding on a holiday, I had to laugh a little internally because, ma'am, the irony. My husband and I are millennials who just bought her. our first home last August with zero financial help from anyone. As you can imagine, buying a house in this economy has humbled us deeply. Every extra dollar seems to go toward something breaking, repairs, furniture, or just surviving homeownership. You know about that, Chelsea. My husband...

I mean, I don't think we should compare my situation to anyone calling in. It's not, that's not realistic. Just lots of expenses. I just don't want any more shit from anyone, okay? We'll just never bring it up again. Just like, if we don't talk about it, nothing bad will happen. Yeah. My husband originally wanted to go to her wedding because he feels guilty not showing up. But now with it, we've looked at logistics, the trip feels kind of insane. Flights are like $800 per person because of holiday and somehow getting to Belize from New York is turning into a 28-hour travel experience with multiple layovers. We're talking expensive, exhausting, and honestly stressful.

So my question is, are we wrong for not going? Are we wrong for not even trying to have my husband go solo? Especially considering everything she did for us for our wedding? and if we don't go, what's the classy way to make up for it? Or are we supposed to suck it up, swipe the credit card, and show face because family obligation wins? Signed a guilty millennial, Jen. Hi.

Hi, Jen. Hi, you're so cute. Thank you. You too. I love all our listeners are so cute. Such a compliment to me. We have cute he's calling him. Yeah, I think you have to go to that wedding.

You think so? Yes. This woman helped her with her own wedding. And like, I understand the experience. But is there anyone else you can team up with to share at least a house or something inexpensive, like another couple or something that can help you save some costs? So that was the plan, but no one is going. Even her own daughters aren't going because of how not only is it expensive, Chelsea, but like the flight

together is 28 hours. To Belize? Belize. From where? From New York. Because the only day where there's a direct flight is on the day of her wedding. on Saturday. No.

28 hours. Yeah. So her own daughters aren't going. And we were going to share a house initially to like cut the cost. But once they told me that they weren't going, we were like, ugh. I don't know. Does she, have you spoken to her? I have not.

No. Okay. What if, let me just throw this out there. What if you guys host a little like cake and ice cream homecoming party for them at your beautiful house? when they get back. Well, I mean, that's okay. But, like, you guys live in the same city? She's moving.

She's moving back to New York. And where do you live? You live in New Jersey. I'm in West Orange, so I'm in New Jersey. Oh, that's right by my family. I think you should be very honest with her, first of all. And just like, so you can't, you don't have the option of flying direct. Is that right?

No. Okay. So you don't have the option of flying direct. It's a 28-hour flight. For a three-day weekend. For a three-day weekend. And that's not, that in itself is a reason to not. I didn't realize that part.

And then the cost, I think you should call her, though, and talk to her. Just be like, you really wanted to make this happen because of everything she's done for you. And it's really important for you to, that you really wanted to be there. But you're finding it unmanageable. And maybe she's getting married in Belize because she doesn't fucking want anybody to come. True. That's what I was thinking. That's what I was thinking.

But I think just like front load it. Don't like get ahead of it and just be really honest and up front and tell her what the deal is. And just say is there any way we can celebrate when you come back? Like don't get into all the, just don't get into all the financial issues. Get into the flight duration. And also, you know, now that we're not able to share a house with anybody, we're pretty strapped financially. even though we were going to just try to make it work even so, but it's just becoming obvious that it's not going to be manageable.

And we wanted to just touch base with you on this before and let you know. And just do that and see how her response is. Hopefully she'll be really understanding. And if she's upset, then I think you should just go back to her and say, like, let's figure out a way to make this, let's have a celebration for all the people that couldn't be there when you come home, that you'd be willing to host in your new house. I do want to do something for her. I really, that's, that's a good idea because I do want to do something for her. I feel bad. 28 hours of flying doesn't make any sense for anything, really.

I mean, unless you're going to for two weeks. 28 hours. Like, no, that's not right. Like, you're going to like Asia, right? Like, or like, I don't know. But no. For three days and also like over $5,000 for $3,000. Yeah. Right. Right. Right. Yeah. I also think if she knew that you guys needed a little help with your wedding. She probably knows, you know, that that might be too expensive. So I think Chelsea's exactly right. Like front load this, talk to her and children's fans. And also just as a reminder when you're writing that email, send it in an email so she can read it a couple times before she responds if she does have like a reaction that's angry or mad or anything. But that usually calms people down. I think rereading stuff. But, and then you can write at the end,

reread this twice before responding. No, but you can also say to, her acknowledge everything that she did, you know, for you guys at the top of the letter or within the body of the letter at some point just acknowledge everything she's done so that she doesn't, if she's the type of person that would want to respond with like, how could you? But do you know how she responded to her daughter's not coming? I think one word, like noted. Oh. Okay. So approach it a little bit more, you know, softly. Yeah. Yeah. I wanted to acknowledge that her help. I want to acknowledge that she's been very, very nice to me since I started, like, dating my husband. Like, she's been so nice. So that's why I feel bad. And I was trying to figure out, like,

what can I do? But I like the idea of writing something instead of, like, all in the way. Just, like, give her some time. Yes, absolutely. Yeah, that's great. Okay. Thank you. Okay. Better. Good. Good. All right. All right. Take care. Thank you, you too. Bye. Bye. Bye. You lost me at fucking 28 hours. Can you imagine how many layovers? Don't spend the time. Yeah. Yeah. No, I agree. Behind every night spent making the kids' lunches, there's a lot of suspense. Will they finally eat the veggies? Will the pesto survive the first bite? Will the lunchbox come home empty, half full, or come home at all? And will you finish episode eight before you're done slicing the cucumbers? Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with Craved Netflix and Disney Plus from $94. a month. Price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit. Visit bell.com.com for details and to check availability. Bell, connection is everything.

Hey, Portlandia fans. Carrie Brownstein and Fred Armisen here. You know us, or rather you know them. Tony and Candice, Nina and Lance, Spike, and yes, the chicken. We've played a lot of iconic characters over the years, but today we're showing up as ourselves to tell you about Podlandia, AEO, rewatch, our brand new podcast. Each week we'll revisit an episode of Portland. from the very beginning, breaking down the sketches, exploring the backstories of our most iconic characters, revisiting the Portland locations you know and love, and opening up about our creative process. How did any of this get made? Why do we think that was a good idea? We're ready to talk about it. And we'll also be joined by the people who helped bring it all to life. Guestrars, collaborators, and friends, including director Jonathan Chrysall, the mayor himself, Kyle McLaughlin, legendary musician Amy Mann, and many more.

Kyle is going for it here. You fully improvised, not just words, but a song, a melody. I thought he was going to write. I thought you were all going to write a song. I remember you thinking that. Listen to Podlandia. Ayo rewatch on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On Solita, we share the messy stories of traveling alone as a woman.

Your duolingo is not going to come back to you when a man is inside of you. No. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people, and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. I can wait four hours for the next bus, or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it.

So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport. And Sean Clements. We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook. Every episode we're trying to help our guests improve their careers

by mainly focusing on how they can help us improve our careers. The show is famously super accessible so you can easily jump into any of our 650 episodes and understand what's going on. We recommend some of our recent episodes with Ben Stillard. The definition of what is a movie has kind of changed anywhere too, right? What do you think it is now? It's images and words being spoken, captured by some sort of technology. Danny McBride. He loves over.

Oh, that's fantastic. And you make it on, you make your own. That's great. I call him Tarot Reed. It's a good name. They're all named after cast members of American Pie. Yeah. Oh, gotcha.

I call, I don't, I never looked up if she was in this, but I call him Leachie Sobieski. Yeah, I don't think she was an American Pie, but I still like that. Haven't looked it up. Haven't looked it up. She was prominent around the same time. Yeah. Then Mary Steenbergin. Why are you guys talking to me?

I'm worried. Did you understand the movie? Why are you talking so down to me that you think I don't understand your little play, play game? I just really. I get it. I'm trying to set you up for success here. Listen to Hollywood. handbook on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

I bought new earrings with my cissies. We went to Sedona for the weekend and I bought these pretty earrings. Thank you. They go all the way up my ears, though. So like I don't think I can sleep in them, which is why I have earrings, like light earrings so I can always sleep in them because it's like I'm just going to lose these. Did they have a flat back in case you? Yeah, I do.

Oh, that's nice. Yeah, I do. I need to just get earrings tattooed into my ears. That's my new thing, tattoos. After I got my eyebrows tattooed, I'm like, all right, what else can I fucking tattoo? What else? Yeah, exactly. Would you get like a tattoo tattoo?

No, I don't care about tattoos, but my niece just got one. Seneca, I found out. My sister told us, she got one of the three girls when we went to Africa, the three nieces. There's a picture of them, like, kind of dancing, and she got that. That's really cute. Oh, I like that. I like it when they have like a really nice meaning or, you know. Cousins.

Yeah. I love that. That's really sweet. Well, our last little question for today is from Sarah. She says, I started talking with a guy on Hinge who has long-term relationship on his profile. After chatting, it seems like he's really only interested in hooking up and essentially admitted as much to me. He said he only puts long-term relationship on his profile to up his chances of meeting up with someone. To be honest, I had been interested in just hooking up with him, but the bait and switch has me, Larry.

Should I meet up with him and see if we have chemistry or skip it and move on, Sarah? I always think that's a bad. You know, if you're not representing yourself fully and honestly, I would stay away from that person. Yeah, the bait and switch gives me the ick. I don't like back and forth with when there's, when there's relationship drama, I don't, at this stage in my life, I don't have time for that. Yeah. If there's like a lot of back and forth and like you're saying one thing and you're doing another,

then you get like two tries. Right. And that's it. And I think for that, like, yeah, if you want to hook up with him and you're, yeah, I don't respect that. And actually, you know what? Yeah. As a woman, just for the other women that he comes into contact with, like it would be,

because it could go either way. all of a sudden be like, oh, I'm never telling them that I'm only into hooking up. Or he could be even more honest on his profile so that he's not catching women that are looking for something more. That's the thing is like, there are plenty of women who are just interested in looking. I'm one of them. I'm one of those people. Hello. She's right here. So just put that on your profile. Okay, Sarah. So I think we're saying skip it. Skip it. Yeah. There are plenty of efficiency. When men act honestly, then we can reward them. When they're dishonest and what's the point? Then you're just setting up a pattern of behavior where they're dishonest and they get away with that.

You know what we need? We need an app where women can like reverse, yes, report them and like search by their photos. Well, I put up my first batch of straight women on my little series, my dating series on Instagram this week. So I'm waiting to hear, because I was very loath to do that because of the way men behave, you know, and because I don't know how, you know, how many straight male followers I actually have. So I wanted to like see how they act with, you know, with that. And so I'm waiting to hear some feedback for. from these women to see what kind of men have approached them and if they're being respectful. Because there's so many straight women in my DMs that I really want to help them find men.

But I don't know. I'm definitely the place to find women and straight women, gay women and gay men. But I don't know if I'm the place to find straight men. Right. All right. So you have it. Well, that's all we got for this week. Okay.

Bye-bye. Bye-bye. If you want advice from Chelsea, write in to Dear Chelsea. Podcast at gmail.com. Dear Chelsea is a production of IHeartMedia. Follow Chelsea on all socials at Chelsea Handler and find Catherine on TikTok at Flashcadabra. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brandon Dickert,

executive producer Catherine Law. Find full video episodes and minisodes now on Netflix and get tickets to see Chelsea Live at Chelseahandler.com. Summer blockbusters are back. The Odyssey and Spider-Man brand new day have taken over cinemas and Raiders of the Los Angeles. podcast has all the coverage you need, including our interview with director Destin Daniel Cretton. What surprised you about Tom Holland? He shows up to every meeting early. He's the first one on set.

Aside from learning all of his lines, is also able to memorize everybody's name on set. Download the free IHeartRadio app. Search Raiders of the Lost podcast and listen now. Hey, Portlandia fans. Carrie Brownstein and Fred Armisen here. The Dream of the 90s is alive in podcast form. We're launching Podlandia. AEO rewatch, our brand new podcast where we revisit every episode of Portlandia together, breaking down sketches, going deep on our iconic characters, and pulling back the curtain on how it all got made. And we'll also be joined by the people who helped bring it all to life.

Guest stars, collaborators, and friends, including director Jonathan Chrysler, the mayor himself, Kyle McLaughlin, legendary musician Amy Mann, and many more. Kyle is going for it here. You fully improvised, not just words, but a song. Well, I thought you were all going to write a song for me. I remember you thinking that. Listen to Podlandia. A.O. Rewatch on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hey, this is Hayes Davenport. And Sean Clements. We host the podcast, Hollywood Handbook. Every episode we're trying to help our guests improve their careers by mainly focusing on how they can help us improve our careers. The show's famously super accessible so you can easily jump into any of our 650 episodes and understand what's going on. We recommend some of our recent episodes with Ben Stiller, Danny McClure, Danny McClure. bride, Riz Ahmed, and Mary Steenbergin. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

On Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. Your duolingo is not going to come back to you when a man is inside of you. Oh, no. I'm Julie Pinero, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word Solita, trading the pig. for possibility. Listen to Solita on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast. Guaranteed human.