Doug Loves Movies - Amy Miller, Kurt Braunohler, Ian Karmel and Sean Jordan guest

Episode Date: February 12, 2018

Live from the Helium Comedy Club in Portland, Doug welcomes Amy Miller, Kurt Braunohler, Ian Karmel and Sean Jordan to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, greenie babies, sticky seeds With 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey, everybody. My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is Doug's Love Movies. There were a couple of people that could not be more off during that part, but I'm so excited to be back here at Helium.

It's a gas. Portland, Oregon. It's what? It's Saturday, February 10th, 2018. And I don't even need to ask to see your name tags because that's how good I know they're going to be. But now that I'm looking at the front row, I'm thinking maybe I need to ask.

Okay, all right, put them down. Put them down. We got some real lazy front row people I love it when people Go to the absolute trouble Of being up front Because you had to get here before everybody else But then also didn't bother with a name tag

Not even scribbling something on a napkin Which gets chosen sometimes Because comics are wise asses They'll see somebody spend four hours On an art project and then next to them is a scribbled on a golf card. Like look at this shit behind you.

I love that the person whose name tag I was pointing to turned around. What does it say on it? It's how high? How high is Doug? All right, I like that. Just took an existing title and added, Is Doug.

Am I Method Man or Red Man? Which one am I supposed to be? It's Red Man playing Doug. It's Red Man is playing Doug, okay. Oh, I can only dream. I'm serious about putting him down, though. I can put it down Oh boy As you can see we got four guests

So four of you are going to be chosen Doug plugs This Wednesday February 14th Doug Loves Movies returns to San Diego Sweet home for our traditional Valentine's Day show. Shit gets super romantic at that show. Instead of the Leonard Mullen game, we play the Leonard Makeout game.

Then I'm doing a stand-up at Comedy Works in Denver next Saturday, February 17th at 420. Be sure to bring your name tags, Denver, because the winner of a game from Douglas Movies that afternoon will come back and be a legit guest on Douglas Movies

the very next day. My phone was just buzzing like it might be an Amber alert, so I'm going to take a quick look at it. Make sure nothing serious is going on. Alright, we're good. I always want to be up on top of those amber alerts. That's also

in Hawaii when they had that false alarm about a missile coming in. It just came in. Your phone buzzes and you look at it and it says missiles are headed here. Do what you gotta do. It was crazy. Denver, Denver, Denver. Yeah, that's all I wanted to say.

For all my dates and deets and links, go to douglosmovies.com. That's douglosmovies.com. Yeah! Ha! From the corrections apologies department, oh, a special apologies section of the corrections apologies department. Oh, a special apologies section of the corrections department. The guy in the audience at the last show in Los Angeles

who said in the next round of Leonard Maltin, the challenger of the previous round, go second, was correct. It's been so long since I played that game I didn't even know my own rules. It's tricky but I think I got it down and we'll play it again sometime soon.

Today here in beautiful Portland it's a lovely day I mean it's cold out but it's the sun is shining and so that means you know what happens when the sun is shining and you're Doug Benson? Get inside a movie theater. So I went and saw all five of the movies nominated for Best Animated Short this year's Oscars over at, shout out to the Living Room Theaters.

Yeah, and thanks to that, I'm five movies closer to completing the DLM Oscar Challenge, hashtag DLM Oscar Challenge, which is try to watch everything that was nominated for an Oscar this year, including, and I've already seen it, a movie that has one of our guests here today in it. Yes, very exciting. So let's get them out here. Please give it up for Kurt Braunoyler, Amy Miller, Ian Carmel, and Sean S. Jordan.

Thank you. Hi. Hi. They put these chairs so close together like we're small people. We're not small people. We're not small people. We scooted. Yeah, just accordingly.

Whatever you have to do, I'll be over here with my giant table Your table's small, mine's giant It's not even a table It's a chair It's another chair For someone even littler A secret guest

We have stools for our Weird stool, yeah, it's weird stools Yeah, we have weird shitty stools Hey, you guys, remember the part where I introduced you each individually? Let's do that now. Amy Miller is here! We're back. We're back together in Portland, Oregon.

Yes, this is where it all started for me and Amy. It's true. When she appeared on douglas movies here at helium when you discovered me yeah and uh you are i i guess there's no reason to bring this up but i will anyway uh you're doing a show here tomorrow night at helium but it's sold out yeah oh no not yet oh it isn't well we have maybe like 50 tickets left. Oh, okay. But yeah, for the room, you come. Oh, okay. Get on your phones right now.

Don't do that. I thought backstage you were saying something about it being sold out. I said I was close to sold out. Close to sold out. Okay. Well, this show today is sold out, so thank you for that, everybody. Okay. Thank you for not making me sweat those extra 50 seats.

Really ripped your face off. But yeah, you're going to have, but you know, you still got plenty of, you're going to do some street teaming tonight. Like whatever you do tonight is going to help get more tickets sold for tomorrow. I'm going to be flyering downtown. Yeah, the whole town is excited that you're here.

I'll be dancing in sassies with flyers in my hand. Not, whoa. People are really into that idea. You're committed to that. Now you just got to talk sassies into it. What's that supposed to mean? The doorman at sassies are so approachable, don't you think? They have grenades.

They are scary as fuck. They look like they have grenades in their vests. They have vests with spaces for grenades, even if they don't have the grenades. Don't tell them we said this stuff about them now. Because we love sassies. They can't hear with all the metal they have pierced into their ears. That's a commentary on all their earrings.

Talking a tough game over here at the comedy club. I'm not going to sassies tonight. Yeah, we are. Amy's dancing. The bouncers here at Helium wear vests, but they're just stylish. They're not supposed to have grenades in them.

Kurt Braunohler is here, everybody! Hello! Hello! Doug and I got to meet a red-tailed hawk yesterday together. Yeah, they got some weird coffee shops in this town. But he makes an amazing espresso. With his little beak.

Yeah, he was from, his name was Sundance? Sundance. And he was from His name was Sundance Sundance And he was from the Oregon Zoo And he had a nice handler Whose name I don't remember I just concentrate on the animals This is weird but I've met that hawk You've met Sundance?

Yes I have I met him at a show at the zoo And he went rogue What'd he do? Well before concerts They used to fly that hawk Down into the crowd To a handler at the zoo and he went rogue. What'd he do? Well, before concerts, they used to fly that hawk down into the crowd

to a handler at the back, but then he started going crazy so they don't do that anymore. She said, she described him as he does flying in their shows, but that sometimes he'll just go up in a tree for a while.

That's what he did at the Chicago concert. It's true. He's just up there figuring some shit out. And I remember that that was his name because the lady was going, Sundance. Sundance.

Chicago needs to get on stage. But does anybody really care to quote one of their songs? Thank you. If Jimmy Pardo were here, he'd go nuts. He could quote all the Chicago songs. But very excited that Kurt is joining the ever-expanding roster of guests on my movie show who are actually in Oscar-nominated motion pictures.

Yay! Kurt is the star of and the writer of The Big Sick. The story of a giant white man who has a friend who falls in love with a girl who goes into a coma. Yep. You know, if it wasn't for the roommate, he wouldn't be able

to afford the rent where he lived and that story would have never happened. So... I think my character was pretty important. Not to give too much away about how the movie ends, but I would love a spin-off with his parents, his family and you. Because you all

stayed in Chicago at the end. After the car drives away, it's just us across the street from each other. I'm like, what's up? You want to get some lunch? Yeah, they totally get into you. They adopt me. They totally befriend you. They love my comedy.

Yeah, you teach each other a lot. But you did help write the movie. I shouldn't give you full credit. You're not officially nominated for Best Screenplay. I am not officially nominated, but I did do some punch-ups, some sweet joke writing for it. Is there a specific line you remember suggesting that is in the final cut?

Yes. My favorite joke that is mine in the movie is after they come back to the apartment, after Holly Hunter has gone after this guy for heckling Kumail

at the comedy club, Kumail has a line where Holly Hunter says, so is that how it always goes heckling Kumail at the comedy club. Kumail has a line where Holly Hunter says, so is that how it always goes? And Kumail says, no, usually I have someone else's mom beat up the heckler. And that was my joke. That's so good. I love that line. Beat up the heckler.

I love it. I did a punch-up pass on it, too. I got one line in where it's Emily's mom says to Kamail she's sick and then Kamail says no, she's the big sick.

Yeah. Now that was and when we screened it at Sundance people stood up Sundance! They stood it up. The hawk!

And I'm not talking about Utah. People stood up and then the red hawk flew away. Yeah. Sundance. She got the big six. And Ian is nominated,

oddly. And Ian got nominated for that. Well... For Dunkirk. Also an Emmy. Emmy nominated. Emmy nominated. Did you write the next line when they said she's got the big sick? The person

responded with, get out. Get out. No, that was Bruce Valanche. He came in and did that one. Oh, Valanche. It was, get out, Dunkirk. Call me by my name. I just thought of a good Halloween costume. Valanche Dubois.

You're a combination of Bruce Valanche and what's her name? Dubois from Streetcar. What's her name? I just said Valanche. I rhymed it I could rhyme with the name and then couldn't remember it You could walk around like I've always depended on the kindness of zingers

Sean Jordan is here everybody Woo! Hell yeah Just wanted to give you a chance to talk I appreciate it I'm just sitting down here You know, bookending it I get it

Just chilling How's it going, dude? What are you doing in town? Uh, this, man Hanging out You came in town to do Douglas movies? Yeah That's pretty dope

Why not? I mean, who the I mean Buck, it's Buck It's super Buck And it's also dank I say dank Even though I don't smoke weed I say dank a lot And I feel like most don't smoke weed, I say dank a lot.

And I feel like most people that smoke weed don't say dank. I feel like that's odd that I say it all the time. It's a good word. It's a fine word. It is. And I'm 36. I made my choice. Don't try to talk me out of it.

He's also here because he loves Portland. And if me and Ian are both out of town, he has no one to talk to. I can call my girlfriend who lives in Portland. Wait a second. I just asked you what you're doing in Portland where your girlfriend lives and your answer is

you're here for Doug Loves Movies? Don't get me started. At least give it twofer status. I'm here for Laura Loves Movies. That's what I'm here for. There you go. Sean Loves Laura. It's a whole other podcast. I'm here for Laura Loves Movies. That's what I'm here for.

There you go. Sean Loves Laura. It's a whole other podcast. It's fun. It's a fun listen, but not as funny. It's a little more serious. And also joining us

is the co-host with Sean of the All Fantasy Everything podcast, Ian Carbone! Ian Carbone! Hey, hey, yeah. Hello.

Were people yelling AFE? That's a thing? You just yell it? They love it. Who's down with AFE? No, you have to yell it. Yeah, you know me. Who's down with AFE? Yeah, you know me. Fuck yeah let's try it again. Who's down with AFE? Yeah, you know me.

Fuck yeah, that's awesome. That's crazy. That's so dope. It's dank even, I would say. That's dank Kirk. It's dank Kirk. Dank Kirk? Oh.

Sundance. Now I have to go get that tattooed on my forehead tonight. Dank Kirk. Dank Kirk. Second best podcast fans in the world. Yeah, they're going to know why you said second best. I was making you number one. Oh.

After the podcast version of the Kudlow Report. Have you... What? Guys, Sean and Ian, you ever done All Fantasy Everything Like in front of a live audience? One time at Bridgetown Yeah We had done Molly

Well I had done Molly The night before And drank two bottles Of Pedialyte During the one hour We were on stage I did Molly the night before As well because

You walked up to me With a huge smile on your face And you go Do this Molly And I was like Alright I'm gonna do that Molly Molly you walked up to me with a huge smile on your face and you go, do this Molly. And I was like, alright, I'm gonna do that Molly. Molly.

Molly by your name. Molly's game would have been another one. Oh! It's like a plot twisted Molly's game would have been another one. Oh! It's like a plot twist in Molly's game that her name sounds like a drudge. Yeah. It quite literally is, yes. Oh, that's great. Yeah, that's great.

I ruined it for everyone. Molly's game is trying not to move your jaw so much that people call the cops. Thanks for being here, Ian. Sorry. What are you up to? Are you doing any shows while you're in town? No, I just came up to do this and to be in Portland.

And to be with Sean's girlfriend. Just to be with Sean, yeah. Ian also loves Laura. I always love Laura. We have to fight to the death after this, me and you. I'm going to win, Laura. She's here? Yeah.

And when I asked you what you're doing in town... I didn't know it was going to turn into a thing. Didn't cross your mind? I didn't, you know. I thought we were going to move past it real quick, but obviously we didn't. All right. You know, Hilary Swank didn't say her husband's name

in her Oscar speech and then they got divorced. That's all I'm saying. I got a lot of steps to get to that point. Yeah, sure. Yeah, yeah. You got plenty of time.

Yeah, yeah. I got plenty of opportunities to screw it up. Who's the Game of Thrones guy who always mentions, oh, he's always like, my wife, Amanda Peet, right? My wife.

No. A guy from Game of Thrones is married to Amanda Pete? Yeah, like Benioff or the other one. And every time they get an award, they're like, I want to thank my wife. My wife! Stop saying it. He just licked his mustache when he said that. Everybody says it. Amanda Pete.

Alright, you guys. Let's find out. I forgot to tell everybody what I brought for the prize bag. So I'll drop in mentions of my stuff in between each of you guys. Let's start with Amy. What have you got to give away today? Oh, wow. Okay, well. Oh, wait. No, it's not with that. Okay, well, I have a book

from Powell's. The Rock says. wow okay well oh wait no it's not with that okay well i have a book from powells the rock says it's a book about the most electrifying man in sports entertainment it's good um got some chocolates because of Rock's delicious chocolatey skin. And this magnet set for your fridge, it's the Dong Lovers edition. Dong Lovers. Because I want to see The Rock's dong. That's it. Oh, and a CD. Solid gold.

Whatever. Same album. Boring. Very funny I didn't It's good Your CD? Yeah my CD

Okay Pass it on over Thank you for bringing All that stuff Oh thank you Kurt Braunohler From the big sick I prefer to be

Referred to that way A whole game I was gonna call you Oscar nominated Kurt Braunohler But I guess That works as well I prefer to be referred to that way a whole game. I was going to call you Oscar nominated Kurt Braunohler, but I guess. That works as well. Let's just call you Oscar. I got a Capri Sun. Top that, Kurt Braunohler.

Oscar Kurt Braunohler. Thank you. I got a bunch of vinyl from local record label Kill Rock Stars. Ooh, our label. We have Marnie Stern's second album, an amazing guitarist on Kill Rock Stars. This is going to be great. You're going to love it.

We got another piece of vinyl here. This is a side project of one of the members of the Boredoms and one of the members of Free Kitten. If you know either of those, this is very exciting. And if you don't, it's going to be fucking crazy when you listen to it. I got a condom from my hotel because my hotel provides condoms. It's not labeled. It says the Jupiter Hotel on it. Oh, okay.

Don't fucking come there tonight. All right? Don't come there tonight. Don't come there tonight. I've got a keep it dry towel. This is a hand towel that has my face on it. It says keep it dry. So you can use that after you use the condom.

And then we got a double LP of the album that Kristen Schaal and I put out from our award-winning show, Hot Tub. And it's got a bunch of great acts on it. There's like 10 or 12 different comedians here, as well as Kristen and I doing our schtick. And there, that's a great vinyl and some sex

shit. That's fantastic. Yeah, there you go. Amy knows what to do. Pass that along. Someone's going to really go home with some stuff. Yep. Yeah, I'm going to, this one, I'm just going to get rid of this one. And also,

in my prize bag is a Douglas Movies t-shirt. One size fits whoever's this size. What do you got, Ian? I brought

a book about the princess bride, As You Wish. Inconceivable Tales from the Making of the Princess Bride by Carrie Elvis. Elvis. Elvis. You know, people don't know this, but originally, instead of As You Wish, it was... Say it.

It was Make Say it. It was make it so. That's a little inside joke from yesterday on AM Northwest. Yeah, if you were watching AM Northwest with the bird, you would have missed, you would have loved that joke.

I DVR'd it. I'm going to watch it tonight. Sundance. I also got some nuts from Bobby Sue's Nuts and it is the Some Like It Hot flavor.

Yeah. That's a movie. Which is a movie. It's a movie. It's a motion picture. It's a talking. It's a talking. It's old enough

that they can't get sued over the name, I guess. Right, exactly. It's out of copyright. How wonderful, how fortunate. This is just a little placard that says, autocorrect can go straight to heel. And I'll tell you, I just got a kick out of that when I saw it,

and I thought I'd share it with you. It is such a weird... It's shaped like a reserved sign for a table at a fancy restaurant. Very confusing as to who chose the shape for this thing. Where would you ever put it? On your desk? Just like, before we get to this meeting,

have a little look at this placard. Yeah, you're the fun guy at work. Yeah, right? Anyway, you're fired. And then finally, as we are in Portland, Oregon, I brought a bag of Stumptown Coffee, the Portland Trailblazers version of Stumptown Coffee. Yes.

In honor of Damian Lillard's 50-point performance in three quarters just last night. Damian Lillard from Oakland, California. Portland, Oregon's finest. Worst city in the world. Alright. Another great bag. I know. It's fine. Great work. I of

course brought, as I will be for every show this year probably, a Christmassy Peacemaker bong. Oh shit. You got a weird hair on it. It does? Oh, yeah. A lot of bongs do. I've been thinking about getting a dog.

You got a bong instead of a dog? It's a pre-hair. I've been thinking about getting a dog. Shaw Jordan, what'd you bring? I bet she brought Some candy I brought some candy dog I brought some

Sour Patch Kids Cause they're dank I brought a little Russell Stover Huh? Aww Your girl Kelly Jordan Can't get enough of those

I wouldn't Laura? No she wants something better He's got something to ask you No And it's Do you like these chocolates? Laura? No, she wants something better. He's got something to ask you. And it's, do you like these chocolates? Wouldn't that be insane if I was like,

you know, I wasn't planning on anyone bringing that up, but I've had this ring for like a year. I've been waiting for the perfect chance. Yes, it would be insane. So now back to the socks that I'm holding in my hand I brought some socks that look like they have a coke That you would get at a movie on them Because I think that's kind of fun Is there nothing they won't put on socks?

It's gone too far We don't have to talk about it now But let's just put a pin in that I brought the popular Ashton Kutcher vehicle Valentine's Day A DVD copy of Valentine's Day. Perfect timing. Yeah, we all know and love that movie.

You know the winner's going to watch that. And I brought an ICP t-shirt for... Yeah. And it's a size small for a very young ICP fan. A little juggalo. A juggalito, if you will. It's never too early to get them started. I will.

ICP song shirts only come in small and 5XL, right? Those are the... Father and son. Those are the two, yeah. You're a baby or a full-grown father ICP fan. So that's what I brought. I'm going to shove it all back in here now. All right, yeah, pass that bucket.

Good job. There's a real juggalo excited in the back. Yeah! They'd be like, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, right? That's the three stooges. It's the same. One of the stooges is Shaggy Tudop. Yep.

The fifth stooge. Is it Shaggy 2-Dope and Mr. Murder? What's the second one's name? Violent J, I believe. Violent J. Violent J. Close enough. I believe.

If my memory serves me correct, it was Violent J. I couldn't be sure, but... I don't want to sound like a dick. I'm not trying to be a shithead, but I think it was violent. I hate to be a prick. I don't want to fuck your day up or anything, but it might have been Shaggy Tudor, but violent fucking day.

And finally, who doesn't like brushing their teeth to the sounds of Kylo Ren? That weapon is mine. You got your toothbrush in your mouth and he's going, that weapon is mine. Settle down, Kylo.

It goes for like a minute. Oh, it like gives you, that's the amount of time you're supposed to brush your teeth. for this long, yeah. Yeah. Nobody does that. That's crazy.

It's like we're at the movie. Wow. And it also just flashes a red light. Any final statements? Did he snort before? We talked during the talking part Excuse me Doug do you have any earplugs or anything?

I'm gonna need to This is killing me They're just brushing their teeth Talking will destroy the resistance. And the last Jedi. They're just brushing their teeth. Talking about destroying the resistance. How are you supposed to go to bed when you're that hyped afterwards? Well, it would be weird if he was like, we'll get these teethies super clean. We'll destroy the resistance after a long, after a good eight hours.

We'll be right back in there. I find your lack of pace disturbing. Easy with that bucket you accidentally dropped, Doug. Oh, shit. There it goes. And accidentally kicked into the crowd. I didn't need it. I put all this stuff in my bag.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yep. I didn't need it. I put all this stuff in my bag. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Quick question before we get to the game portion of the show, you guys. We'll start with you, Amy.

What was the last movie that you saw? Jumanji. Welcome to the Jungle or the original? New Manji. Starring Dwayne The Rock Johnson And his magnificent dong He doesn't need to swing from a vine You know what I mean He just kind of swings from whatever

I saw it when I was in Minneapolis for shows You know I like to go to a lay down theater I lay down and have a wine Oh they have those lay downs there? Yeah they have a couple really dope theaters there Outside Minneapolis like in Hopkins And so I saw it i didn't think i was gonna like it that much and i it was so fun oh that hot jonas brother don't even i didn't even know a jonas brother was in it yes he's the guy who's been stuck in the game i guess i haven't seen it you haven't

no i why would i say i didn't know he was in it if I had watched all of it? Because I assumed you didn't know what the Jonas brothers look like. Probably because the Jonas... Don't make that assumption, young lady. Wait, wait, wait. So it's like Aaron Jonas and Mr. Murder Jonas? Is that the two brothers? That's right. Shaggy 2 Jonas?

Violent Jonas, dude. That's what the J stands for. You would like it. It's so fun. That's what I was... Before it opened, I said it looks good, and people made fun of me, and it's a worldwide massive hit here in the States. It's got legs.

It was the number one movie last weekend, and it opened four or five weeks ago. Yeah, it's legitimately good. Yeah, people like it. Plus, it's like a little palate cleanser to like Oscar movie, Oscar movie. Oh, I just want to see something super fun. Yeah.

Starring The Rock. I always wanted to go to the jungle in between two Holocaust movies. Shake it up. You should see it. It needs me to market it too, so that's good. Kurt, what was the last movie you saw? A Futile and Stupid Gesture on Netflix. Right?

It was surprisingly good. It's about National Lampoon, like the beginning of National Lampoon and how it like the magazine and then they did Animal House and Caddyshack. And it is surprising. I expected like, ah, this will be maybe good.

And the writing is excellent. Everyone is acting really well. I loved it. Cool. Yeah. No jokes. Just really enjoyed something. Just you fucking monsters.

That's a pure joy for me. I'll see that. I think I'd like that. And I also have been meaning to see there's a doc about National Lampoon. The doc is great too. Yeah, I'd like that. And I also have been meaning to see, there's a doc about National Lampoon. The doc is great, too. Yeah, I gotta see that as well. I've seen the doc. I haven't seen the futile and stupid gesture. It's amazing.

That Doug Kenny guy was wild. Yeah. Yeah, and came to like a crazy end, too. Yeah, he played Stork in Animal House, and he had one line, and it was, What are we supposed to do, you moron? He doesn't talk

through the whole movie then he finally says that towards the very end of the movie. But then he fell off a cliff or jumped off a cliff in real life. I guess

let's jump into spoiling the end of the fucking movie, Doug. Oh, that was the futile and stupid gesture? He's the title character? the fucking movie, Doug. Oh, that was the futile and stupid gesture? Yeah. He's the title character? Yes.

And I didn't know he was dead the whole movie. And so it was a surprise for me. Oh, okay. Well, I guess, you know, you just don't know your history. No. Ian, what was the last movie you saw? On the airplane today, I watched three billboards

outside of Ebbing, Missouri. Really? People like it. Very polarizing movie. I almost turned it off three times. It is confounding. I don't understand how it's a best

picture. I went in because I'd seen so many people talking shit about it on Twitter that I was like, I bet it's going to be good. I generally enjoy movies. And it was not. I loved it. You loved it? Yeah. Really? Yeah.

Really. I love that director and playwright. I think if you've seen his plays and then you watch it after that, it makes more sense why it's so overwrought. I don't know. I love fucking Damian Lillard, but if he shit on my chest, I'd be upset about it. I wouldn't.

Lies. Lies, my friend. Yes, please. It just didn't It just didn't Why are you so upset about it? There's so many things That don't make sense about it And it sucks

That's why we're upset about it It's a bad movie That sucks And it doesn't make any sense Like The main character You were saying Doesn't grow at all

During the entire movie Does it change? Francis McDormand is the same In the beginning And the same at the end Which is just Does nothing Tell you who does get a redemption arc

The fucking racist cop Fuck that guy Who tortured black people Yeah And then at the end which is just does nothing. Tell you who does get a redemption arc. The fucking racist cop. Fuck that guy. Who tortured black people. Yeah. And then at the end he's like, oh, he's not so bad because he's willing

to murder a dude. It's fucking crazy. And then this small town this small town sheriff after he dies just happens to be the fucking

beautifulest poet. Oh my God. Yeah, it turns out the best poet quoting Oscar Wilde and shit. Yeah, it turns out the best poet quoting Oscar Wilde and shit. The chief of police and secretly a philosophy professor. William Faulkner

is the chief of police in Ebbing, Missouri. Yeah. Married somehow to a British woman. Where'd she come from? Where the fuck did she come from?

Why is she in Ebbing, Missouri? She's studying at Oxford like, you know where I want to go? The shithole in Missouri. Well, I found a beautiful cop. He has such a way with words that he never uses until he dies.

He doesn't need to be in it at all. Hey guys, give me your Twitter handles because I don't need the heat for ruining a movie. Call me at Ian Carmel. I don't need the heat for ruining a movie. Come at me. At Ian Carmel. I don't need the heat for ruining a movie.

Listen, after you ruined a futile and stupid gesture for these people, I'm getting into it. I'll tell you what's a futile and stupid gesture. Watching three billboards outside of Ebbing, Missouri. Yes. Anyway, all the acting's great and it's funny and I like it. The acting is good. The acting is very good. It is very good. Kind of funny. The acting is good. Anyway, all the acting's great and it's funny and I like it. The acting is good. The acting is very good.

It is kind of funny. The acting is good. I love it. The acting is good. Yeah. I mean, it's not a bad movie. No, it's actually okay. It's all right.

I wouldn't say it's terrible. It's actually pretty good. It just doesn't deserve all the hype. I mean, it's... The fuck was that? You know, now that I think about it, I'm kind of coming hype. I mean, it's... The fuck was that? You know, now that I think about it, I'm kind of coming around. I liked it, actually.

Bye, Doug. I could have used even a fifth. I could have used a fourth, maybe a fifth billboard. My name's Amy, and I love movies. I'm the host now. There's just a part where the kid is like No I won't say it

Well you also love Portland Oregon So we disagree on a lot You're full of shit This city gave you so much I know they're so dumb for doing that Thank you Yeah I hate Portland That city where it's cheap to get drunk

And there's delicious food everywhere. I actually... Every bar has a stripper pole. Yeah. I watched the Truman Show last, so... Oh, so good. You know, Sean, I really wish you would wait for me to ask because I was hoping for 20 more minutes

on three billboards. I was looking right at you. You're doing a great job of moving the show along. I read the room a little bit. Plus, you'd never seen it? No, I'd seen it. We just watched it. Revisited it? Yeah, it's great. It's a good movie. Did you cry? I cry a lot.

Yeah, I cried a little bit at the show. And at the end, who is the true man? The one who's crying, staring at his MacBook Pro. It's not a big deal. It's a MacBook Pro. Staring right at the MacBook Pro crying watching the Truman Show. Doing alright. Live in LA. It's not a big deal.

Well, great job seeing movies, you guys. Give it a shot. Thanks, Doug. Yeah, you do great at it. But now it is time for me to say, let the games begin! We got lots of amazing name tags for you guys to choose from. So just hop on out of your seat and go pick the one you like the best.

And we'll be back after these words. Hey, you guys. There's no sponsors for this episode. So I'm going to take a moment to talk to you about Jesus. Just kidding. I'm going to talk to you about some more of my road dates because I'm very excited. In April, I've got three very exciting shows in Northern California. On Thursday, April 19th at 10.30 p.m., it's my annual Countdown to 420 show.

This year at the Punchline in Sacramento, it's me and other special guest comedians doing stand-up and then counting down to midnight at which point it will officially be 420 and we will step outside if you know what i mean then friday night april 20th if you're in the chico or paradise area please come to the performing arts center the paradise performing arts Center at 8 o'clock for a 420 stand-up show. And then on April 21st, I'm back at the Sacramento Punchline at 420 with a Doug Loves Movies taping. And you guys know what site to go to for more info, so let's get back to the show. Alright, we're back.

We did it. Nobody got hurt. Some guy handed me this. You're Hunter from the Future on a CED video disc. What's a CED? Must be a laser disc, right?

No, it's a movieED? Must be a laser disc, right? Uh, no, it's... It's a movie on vinyl, man. Molly. How does that even... It's a movie on vinyl, but you can only hear it. It's a record. How is it a movie on vinyl? You just...

Whatever it is, I can't wait to forget it somewhere. What a dick. what a dick what a dick he could have just walked up and said here's here's a brick this is about as useful i'd be happier to get a brick i could start making a house just your isn't going to be the foundation for anything. Just sadness. I can't even fit that in my carry-on, dude. Because the carry-on's going to be full of weed from pharma. I plug them every time, but they haven't given me anything yet, I don't think. All right, so I'm just excited that there's a weed store in the same building as the comedy club.

I wish that were true in every city. Amy, who do you want to play on behalf of today? Well, I am playing on behalf of Rio. Is that your name? Okay, what a beautiful name. But actually, are you guys a couple? I took both of their name tags up because they're both Dolly Parton themed. And I'm sorry for everyone else who made one for me, they fucking got it well this also has a joint on it so

Rio Magnolias and you know we're all this is it's Ian and no that's for me and then Mike to five where I fucking am Dolly Parton. Technically, I should be playing for Mike, but you're a girl, so I picked you. And Sean is Lily Tomlin, and Kurt is Jane Fonda. And it's the best thing I've ever seen. I want to take a picture of it. And Mike is playing the Dabney Coleman role. It's Ian.

What? It's Ian. What? It's Ian and his mustache. It is? Yeah. You didn't put yourself on it, Mike? No. Okay. Thanks, Mike.

Neither of them did. You look like Peter Dinklage. Thank you. And this Steel Magnolia is Doug, I think you're Sally Field. I sure am. They like me. They really like me. Drink your juice, Shelby.

It's a good movie. It's no three boil boards outside. Look at what Kurt's got over there. Look at what I have. This says, for those of you at home, these are homemade killer tomatoes. Homemade from felt, stitched together by hand with little teeth and eyes. It's very beautiful. And it says, with pictures of us all poking out, says,

Attack of the Killer Tamaris, or tamatis or tamatis and i'm going to either guess your name is tamaris or madison what is your name what maddie your birth oh tamatis tamatis so i think that's really beautiful everything's really well done and there's a yeah it's tape in there but also also, I love this movie. I love the return of the attack of the killer tomatoes. I think that's better. It's George Clooney's first movie. Really beautiful.

Beautiful film. All right, Kurt. Put that down. What do you think about three billboards, Kurt? There you go. Ian, what do you got? What's your name? Matty.

Oh, Matty. I'm playing for Matty. Another Matty? And he made a method. It was a How High Is Doug? And it's you and Method Man, who's one of my 142 favorite rappers. And it's from the movie How High? And it came with a bag of munchies, which is the main reason I grabbed it.

I'm going to eat these later. Munchies is what? It's a bunch of different kinds of snacks? Yeah, it's several. So this one is a cheese fix flavor. It's Doritos, Cheetos, Sun Chips, and rolled gold. Yeah, yeah, people are on board. It's kind of a fun, it's just sort of a grab-all. You know what I mean?

When you don't know exactly what you want. Yeah, we just want to shove a bunch of things in your mouth and see what happens. Just a bunch of sharp, cheesy corners jammed into your mouth. Sounds good. Yeah. All right, good job. Thank you. You can put it down now.

Okay, cool. I don't want you to have to sit there like that the whole time. But yeah, you can hang on to the munchies. Throw them. Oh, shit. I won't eat them during. Thank you. Sean?

Playing for Evan. So it kind of got shoved in my face, but Evan, I'm seeing, just put his name on a piece of paper. There's no pun really involved. There's a picture of you on here somewhere, Doug. But it's a vinyl. Jimmy Cliff. So I just... The harder they Evan.

The harder they Evan. Instead of the harder they fall? Oh, it's just... The harder they come. The harder they Evan. So it was a bad pun that you put on there. Instead of the harder they come, it was the harder they Evan. I get it. Lazy Al Yankovic

Everybody who put a lot of time in the back is like I'm gonna fucking murder this person It's got one of those left handed cigarettes on it though And that's why I picked it You always have the greatest reasons for picking things. Yeah, yeah. Well, there was no skateboards out there, so I had to do this. And it's got some Trader Joe's dried fruit on the bottom, some dried

mandarin oranges. So yeah, let's all be health nuts up here and do that. So yeah, there's my name tag. Would you like me to pass it around now? No. Oh, okay. Pass it around? No, pass it down. I was being a little preemptive with the Pass it down thing I apologize

Yeah you can just Hang on to it for now I'll just hang on To it for now Yeah Cherish it while you can Alright so that's That's what's

Happening there I got some games Set up for you guys To play This first one Is a little something Called Alex's Jason and Deb's IMDb game

so this is where I'm going to name somebody's top four best known for on IMDb as soon as you think you know who it is I'd suggest waiting for a couple of titles because it's pretty much a wild

guess after just one title because there's a lot of people in each movie. And you get negative one point if you guess wrong. But I'll name all four movies. First one to buzz in with the correct answer also gets bonus points if they can name more of the

films in the top four, depending on how many are left. Make sense, guys? Yeah. Yeah. That was a great explanation. Only half the audience is asleep at this point. They all know how to play it. I just don't want you guys to embarrass yourselves.

Do you want to practice buzzing in? Yeah, how do we buzz in? Kurt Brown on. Sean. Jimmy Miller. Ian. Transformers. Yeah.

I think I'll be able to know which one of you buzzed in by your first name. Nope, I'm putting my full name in. All right, here we go. Nope, I'm putting my full name in. All right. Here we go. Who's top four best known for on IMDb? Sure, sure.

Starts with a movie called Two Tickets to Paradise. Yeah, that is rough. I don't know what that is It starts with that one That's number one It could be anyone at this point It could be just about anybody Since I've never heard of that movie Kurt, your number one is Bunk

That was my show But sure, nobody knows it. Good show. But at least it's my show. Well, this Two Tickets to Paradise, this person might play the title role. Yep. Mikey Two Tickets. One of the tickets.

It might be animated. Mikey Two Tickets to Paradise. All right. The second title. If you know it in the audience, don't help out. The Cutting Edge. Come on. Are these movies?

Yep. You really chose those? They sound like wrestling finishing moves. Listen, brother, if you come in here, you're going to earn yourself two tickets to paradise, if not the cutting edge. If not. Amy Miller. If not, Breski.

Oh, Amy's buzzing in. Who do you think it is, Amy? I don't know if I have her name right. Oh, no. Moira Kelly. Oh, no. She looks like her, though, right? No, Moira Kelly is Oh, no. She looks like her, though, right? No, Moira Kelly is in...

The Cutting Edge? Cutting Edge, yeah. Fuck yes. I still feel like a winner. They didn't know that. No, no. The three of us are terrible in these games. He really jumped in with a real hard one

for people who don't really know anything. I've only seen one movie and I hated it. You gave movies a shot on the plane today. People kept walking off the edge of the screen and I didn't know where they went. Where did they go? I kept looking behind the seat.

No. Where'd those billboards go? I thought this was about billboards. Well, they're outside of town. You gotta keep going. I will continue to pass the time by looking at a wooden block. The third title

is something called Dinosaur. And then the fourth title is a movie called Brother Bear. Brother Bear? What are you doing? It was an animated feature. So any guesses, guys? Sean?

You can't buzz in with someone else's name I wasn't clear on that Way to put me on the god damn spot So tricky Kurt Russell Do you really want to guess that No I was kidding You get negative one.

Proposing another person. Kurt Russell's actually here. And he wanted Kurt to guess. I think you guys should just lay back and let Amy just guess wrong four times. And then you guys will tie for the win. I'm right here. I have a feeling you're not going to guess wrong every time.

The name of the actor that's in all of those things is D.B. Sweeney. Oh, Jesus. Yeah, he was the lead co-star in Cutting Edge. Great ice skating movie. Ice skating and hockey romance. Yeah, interesting.

The first two names is dad boner, Sweeney. Yeah, interesting. The first two names is Dad Boner, Sweeney. Yeah, that's probably why when he signed up with Saggy, he said, let's just go with DB. Yeah, let's just go with DB. Instead of Dad Boner. I feel like I'm going to get a lot of specific roles with Dad Boner as my name.

Internet movie Dad Boner. That is what IMDB stands for. DB Sweeney started IMDB back in the 70s In movies? Dad boner So to recap the scores Everyone has zero except for Amy Who is at negative one? I think it was a very good thing that I said

And this is unfair Second round that I said and this is unfair. Second round. Starts with a TV show. This person's IMDb page says they're most known for One Tree Hill. And the second title is Twin Peaks Fire Walk With Me.

I can't believe one person is in both of those things. Yeah. The third title is a motion picture called The Lion King. Oh. Oh. What? And finally, get ready to buzz in, Amy. The cutting edge.

Amy Miller. Who is it, Amy? Maura Kelly. That's correct. That's amazing. We didn't plan this. Maura Kelly was, of course, the voice of Mufasa. Who was

she though? Little Nala? Yeah, I guess so. Oh yeah. That makes sense. Why is that funny that I said Little Nala? No. This is funny. You know the character names well enough to say that. I was

young when The Lion King came out. Makes sense. Okay, everybody's got zero. Yeah. Hell yeah. Finally, this game is fair again. Back on an even

playing field. Let's do it. This next round starts with a motion picture called Cool Runnings. Kurt Brownel, our Oscar nominated actor.

And writer. You put it after your name now. Are you taking your SATs with you? Who do you think it is, Kurt? Cuba Gooding Jr.? Really incorrect. Like borderline racist incorrect. It's Cuba Gooding Jr.'s not in Cool Runnings, I guess.

Not even. All right, Kurt's out. Holy crap. The second movie on this person's top four is called Eight-Legged Freaks. Nothing. Nothing? The third movie's called Shark Tale. And then rounding it off with a TV program called Cosby.

Amy Miller. Who is it, Amy? Amy? Dwayne? Wait. What an awesome showbiz name, Dwayne? Wait. I should not have buzzed in.

Oh, no. Dwayne Wade's a basketball player, right? Yeah, it's not him But you know who I mean I don't mix a lot of people up with Dwayne Wade That's minus Welcome Jamal Warner You already said that other name

You should say that They're both wrong Those are the top credits Of the brilliant Dougie Doug Dougie Doug That is who I was thinking of Alright so Kurt and Amy both have

Negative one And Ian and Sean are killing it with zero Couple silent partners over here I'd like to apologize to everyone Who knows things in the audience And is frustrated at watching us fail But why did you make it extra hard today? Yeah, I was gonna say

What's going on? I don't, you know I don't think too hard about About that I thought one of these people Might know one of these things Dougie Doug Who doesn't pass the time By reeling in the career of Dougie Doug?

Oh, God. Yeah, I would hope no one is studying for this. All right, this is going to bust it all wide open, I think. Blow the roof off this motherfucker. Yeah, we're going to find a winner right now. Whose top four starts with planes, trains, and automobiles? I mean, easy, easy. Nobody wants to get in this early?

I mean, I mean, this early I mean I mean no I mean it's too risky alright it's gone not my Moira Kelly

Moira Kelly not Moira Kelly so it's probably Moira Kelly you forgot to say Ian first oh no no no no no no no no no yeah she wouldn't have a different set of movies

that's true couple problems get your hands on your buzzers sure Yeah, she wouldn't have a different set of movies That's true Couple problems Get your hands on your buzzers Sure Because the next movie is called Spaceballs Sean got in first Jonathan Candy That's incorrect

You scared me there with that Shorter title, less title John Candy John Candy is correct. Yeah. You don't think his dad ever called him Jonathan? Jonathan Candelucci. Jonathan, get the fuck in here.

You're going to be in Spaceballs. That's what his dad said. His first name was John Bonjavy. John Bonjavy Candy. John Sane Clown Posse Okay Sean you could Accrue extra points There's no point to it really

Because you're the winner But you got two more guesses On John Candy films Just to rub it in I don't know that they're Going to be correct at all Uncle Buck. And?

The Great Outdoors. Those are both John Candy movies. They only listed Uncle Buck. Strangely, the other one they listed, Cool Runnings. Whoa! Horse. Well, you really put a bow on that one. That was fucking...

The popular Dougie Doug vehicle. Cool Runnings. Dougie Doug had to approve Jonathan Candy to be in that movie. It all went by Dougie Doug. Yeah, I mean, someone was supposed to buzz in the first time I said Cool Runnings, all confident that it was John Candy, and then you would have looked silly. I think we all sussed that out pretty quick. No, you sussed out that you don't want to take any risks.

It's a hell of a tone to take with the winner of the game, but, you know, I'll take it. You're right. You really stuck your neck out on who's in planes, trains, and automobiles and space balls. So many people to choose from. I want a fucking Dots and a fucking Ford. Sean is the winner of that game.

All right, I think it's about time. It's been a week or two since we played this, and it's my favorite new game. It's called How Long Is It? I'm going to say a thing to you guys that's related to movies in some way and then you're going to each guess how long it is.

What? I know, it doesn't make any sense until you hear what it is you're guessing about, but you're going to guess Price is Right style closest without going over One inch. However, do you want to set that in stone or

do you want to wait until you hear the question maybe like a plaster mold I don't really want to do it in stone but all right Shawn you get to go first and then we're gonna go to Ian and then Kurt and then Amy you each get a shot at this How long Does Tom Hanks Eat baby corn in the movie Big How long Does one of our greatest living thespians Go at some baby corn Like it's regular corn on the cob

in the Penny Marshall directed motion picture called Big. It's one of those questions that's going to make me feel really stupid no matter what the amnesty. Well, I can tell you this. It's not one inch. One dollar.

One dollar. Nobody asked you yet, Miller. 45... She didn't say an increment of time. Does he talk to you like this, Laura? 45... Nobody asked her either. 45 seconds.

I'll kill him. All right, Sean says 45 seconds. What do you think, Ian? I'm going to say 44 seconds. Does that... From a strategy point of view, does that make any sense at all? Wait, isn't it closest without going over? Yeah, so everything below 44, you'd be over.

And then there's only one second for you to win. It would have to be 44 point something seconds. Let him live with it. Having heard that, having heard it sort of laid out in front of me, yes, 44 seconds. He's a confident man, this Carmel. I punched up that scene.

You're like that kid on Price is Right, I guess 420 every time. Just for laughs and it never got him up on the stage. I could have had a washing machine. We got one. Oh, yeah. Kurt.

20 seconds. Ooh. And finally, Amy, we got 45, 44. 26 seconds, Doug. And 26. What do you know it? I know, there was an odd amount of groans.

Did you want me to say one second? Well, I didn't do it. Because we don't win anything in this game. All right, so Sean said 45. Goddamn right I did. Ian said 44. Kurt said 20. 20. And Amy said

26. 26. If it's 44, I'm the new mayor of this city. That's it? Yeah, man. Yeah, have it. It ain't, but have it. You know, now, can I now? I'll keep 20 as my answer,

but I think actually what I think it is now. You think what it is? You ever play the game and think what it is? I think it's like seven seconds. Because 20 seconds now, I think about it. It's an eternity to eat a tiny baby corn. But do you remember the scene? 45 seconds. He does it eat a tiny baby corn. But do you remember the scene? He does it for a long time though. Do you remember the scene?

It's pretty weird how long he eats the baby corn. He turns it He tries to get every little baby corn off of it. This was pre-smartphone. America's attention span was longer. Not pre-giant piano on the ground mind you, but pre-smartphone, sure. That scene bit, just so everyone's clear. 26 seconds but pre-smartphone, sure. Would you say it again, Amy?

Just so everyone's clear. 26 seconds. 26? Kurt said 20? Yeah. Fuck you, guys. It's 24 seconds. Yeah!

So close. But what, no, no. Are you playing a ground piano right now? I'm also playing the ground piano and shaking my balls out because I've been sitting for a while. Notice also if

she had guessed one second still I would have won. So don't feel bad about yourself. Yeah I was closer than you though.

I don't. I don't feel bad at all. Great. Guy rubs it in like lotion. Just gets the point across.

I'm just going to sabotage your set tonight. Back to zero the point across. I'm just going to sabotage your sets tonight. Back to zero. Feeling good. I'm going to tell your jokes tonight. Here's one about being a dad. With a boner. I am dad boner.

Somebody should start that website. I am dad boner. Somebody should start that website. I am dad boner. I am dad boner. I'm sure it's on the dark web and it's been started. I think dad boner might have it. Silk Road, Playboy. Zeitgeist. Dad boner is our friend.

Mike Burns. Mike Burns is dad boner. Mikey Burns. Don't tell. Oh, shit tell Oh Oh no Okay so Kurt gets to go In our

Final game Of the afternoon A little something Called Last Man Stanton And we switch the order around So it's gonna go Kurt, Ian Sean Sean, Amy. I'm going to sit it out today

in the interest of time. Because this might take a while. All right, I'll play. Yay! Yay! Aww. Is that all it takes to get you to do something? Aww.

It was pretty persuasive. I did not expect anybody to be upset about me not participating because I'm still here. I'm still involved. Yeah, you're here. You're doing good. All right, so,

but since you guys are expert level players, we'll probably need more than one name. So we'll get a name from a pre-selected audience member and then you guys could decide if we need a second name or not. Actually, your faces will tell me a lot because I'll be able to tell if somebody suggests D.B. Sweeney

I bet you some of you couldn't name one D.B. Sweeney movie. Oh, you'd be mistaken. Shark's Tail. That's what I'm saying. Even after just hearing it. I know what you're saying. You got it wrong.

Cool Runnings. Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. The Great Outdoors. Uncle Buck. The motherfucker was in some movies. I've been around. Kidding. I'm kidding.

But what was the ice skating one? Cutting Edge. Yay! You think of that? I was about to yell I, Tonya when you asked that question. I was like, are we moving on to something I know? Blades of Glory. I like that.

I like that I, Tonya. Me too. I thought it was one of the best ones this year. Fine film. A fine film. Set film. Fine film. Set in Portland, Oregon. Yes. If you've seen it, I wouldn't necessarily be proud of that aspect.

No, I am proud because that's the Portland that nobody knows about. Everyone's like, Portlandia? Does everybody ride a nine foot tall bicycle? It's like, no! It's meth and people with drinking problems. Yeah. That round of applause.

Yeah, how do you think somebody's going to get up on a nine-foot bicycle? Exactly. The timber industry ran out, but we were still here. Fred and Carrie. All right, where is You ever heard anybody that mad at those two I'm not I'm not actually they're wonderful They are a delight They can put on wigs and be different characters

I know it's funny Where is somebody on Twitter that goes by the name Bearded Maledis That the name Bearded M'Ladies? That's you? Bearded Maladies? Okay. Bearded M'Ladies. Bearded M'Ladies.

Huh? Huh? He spelled it maladies. I just thought it would be fun to... Yeah, let me look at that paper. Oh, yeah, shit. Oh, you can now. There's no new information on there yet.

Nor will there be. Is there a world where Sean and I could get another drink? Yeah, absolutely. Okay, cool. Okay, thank you. It's right next to our world. It's so close. Yeah.

You just have to go over the bridge. It's drink theory. Here it is. He, thank you. It's right next to our world. It's so close. You just have to go over the bridge. Here it is. He's back there. There's the name tag I should have picked. Oh, shit. Fuck. Oh, my God. It has vodka on it.

Yeah, we can't open those in here. Yeah, we can't. I mean, we can, but I think it's against some sort of alcohol rule. You can swallow the bottle whole and let your stomach acid open it, though. What? Yeah. It's like taking a gel cap

Advil. Yeah, you eat it. It's like a time release. A time release thing. Your nose is released into your system and your body harmlessly passes the glass. Because that bottle doesn't want you to get too drunk too quick. Right.

Okay, we're back. Probably going to throw in another commercial right there. So, Bearded Maladies, what's your actual name, if you don't mind saying? Elon. What? Elon Musk is here? Elon Good call with bearded maladies

Oh my ladies You'll need Elon Musk jokes all day long What's your suggestion for Last Man Stanton? Robin Williams Oh the? Robin Williams. Oh, the great Robin Williams. That's a huge one. Yeah.

Yeah, I don't think we need a second name. I think, uh, you know, apologies to JNards007, but congrats for having the word Nards in your name. All right, so, so uh you got one lifeline so at one point you can go go ask somebody and you can ask your person whose name tag you chose to okay to help you out okay but uh kurt go ahead and start us off any film that's got robin williams in it um all right mrs doubtfire very good All right. Mrs. Doubtfire. Very good. This is going to be extremely stressful for you if that was rough. Okay, next up.

The Bicentennial Man. What are you doing? You don't keep going? What are you doing? Should I? That's a negative one point. Oh, oh. If you can't think of one, you're out. I thought I just kept going until I couldn't. I'm sorry.

How'd you go from Miss Doubtfire? I kind of like that game. Let's try that game. Those were his two big movies. Yeah, that was such a jump that you took from Miss Doubtfire to Bicentennial Man. That was astonishing. So, that doesn't count. We'll come back to you in aentennial, man. That was astonishing. All right, so that doesn't count.

We'll come back to you in a little bit, Kurt. Okay. Ian? Aladdin. Very good, very good. Sean? I won't. Good morning, Vietnam.

I won't say it. I won't say it. I'm not going to say Bicentennial. Okay, it's my turn. I'm going to fucking say it. Bicentennial. Okay, it's my turn. I'm going to fucking say it. Bicentennial, man. Avery? Good Will Hunting.

Oh, how do you like them apples? It's not your fault, Doug. What's not my fault? It's not your fault. Don't do that, Avery. I don't get it. Don't you fucking do that. I don't get it. Don't you fucking do that.

Don't fucking do that. Not you. Not you. Not you, Sean. Not you, Sean. You want to know what the best part of my day is? They say that in that movie? Yes, it's the most heart-wrenching scene. How about them apples is the most heart-wrenching scene?

They're hugging. Because he shows off at math in front of people. You know the line in the movie where he's like, I'm bad whale hunting and then Ben Affleck's like, no.

You're the big sick. York. That was me. There's no time. There's no room for dramatic pauses on a five comic panel. Never.

Remember when other people wrote that movie? Somebody's going to put their joke in. I'm bad while hunting. Uh-huh. All right, wait. Whose turn is it? Oh, it's back to you. I'm nervous.

I'm nervous. You got this, dude. You got this. I think there's... What do you mean you think? Go to your lifeline if you're not sure. Really? Right now?

Yeah, your lifeline's going to have one. Oh, yeah, of course. Yeah. But I think I'm pretty right about this one. I want to save my lifeline. Okay. Because this is the very last one that I can think of. The Fisher King?

Yeah. Oh, thank God. I was worried it was like something like Prince of Fishes or something. Okay, great. The original title was Fisher-Price King. And then they lost their tie-in with the toy company. Made a more adult movie. Don't.

Ian? I'm going to drop one into the boo box and say hook. Oh. The boo box. The boo box The boo box Rufio Rufio Rufio

Happens every fucking time That that shitty movie comes up It's slept on Easy I thought we stopped talking about Three Billboards like an hour ago. This may be Phil Collins' best movie. And that's saying something. That's Phil.

Shh. That's enough. Don't yell out words from the audience. Sean? Dead Poets Society? Yeah. We don't want to chant that all of a sudden. We just want to fucking... I'm kind of inspired with my next answer

because Kurt Braunohler is here. Oscar nominated, yeah. And he is the world's greatest dad. Oh! Yeah! Hopefully the only thing in common is the name there. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That's where the connection should end. Absolutely. Yeah Hopefully the only thing in common is the name there Oh yeah That's where the connection should end

Absolutely You ever seen the director's boner of that movie? Director's boner? Like a dad boner joke Is it my turn? Is it my turn? Yes it is Patch Adams

Oh fuck you Amy I thought of one more I thought of one more. I thought of one more. You want to go to your lifeline? Yes, Maddie. Maddie. Maddie. One hour photo.

One hour photo. One hour photo, yes. Never even heard of that movie. It's the sequel to One Hour Martinizing. Nobody even knows that word anymore. Yeah. Holy shit. All right.

Take that out of my stand-up. You're martinizing material. It was a solid joke for many years, but apparently people don't know martinizing anymore. Ian. Reaching out, snatching that cig, breaking it in half, Jack. What was all that stuff before you said Jack?

One of the scenes in the movie. It's a flex. Yeah. He plays a kid, you know, who grows it like... I know what it is. So he thinks smoking is gross. Oh, I see.

He breaks a cigarette in half. All right. It's no flourish. I'm sorry, John. Is it? Can I ask if we said something already? Or is that, I can't do that. I'll be out.

Well, if you think it's an accurate title, then you can. Because then that'll be your answer if we haven't said it yet. But if we have, I can still. I'll say we said it already. Okay. Good morning, Vietnam. Did we say that? You said it.

You said it. You said that. You said that. Bird. Bird Kitsch. Bird Kitsch. Bird K said that. Bird, birdcage, birdcage, birdcage. Birdcage. Huh?

Everybody forget. Everybody forget like I did. Sean, what's the full title? Oh, dog. Don't help from the audience, please. Evan, where are you at? Wait, what's happening? I just said, I said birdcage.

Yeah, what's the full title just said birdcage. Yeah, what's the full title? The Birdcage. Yeah. Oh, I thought you were looking for La Cage a Follard. Yeah, I thought so, too. That's a French movie that Robin Williams is not in. My heart's beating faster than it should be beating right now. I like that you're going to your lifeline for the.

I didn't yet. Evan's still locked and loaded. We didn't get Evan. You keep thinking. My next answer. Oh, Shakes the Clown. Ooh. Wow.

Nice. Crazy. What's that? It's all about martinizing. It's a Bobcat movie. It's all about martinizing. It's a Bobcat movie. It's a great Bobcat Goldthwait movie that Robin Williams plays a mime in it

and clowns hate mimes, so there's a bit of a conflict there. Amy? I'm going to say Awakenings. Oh, that's a good one. That was my ace in the hole. Yeah. Taking all the medical movies.

Great. I kind of love doctor stuff. What do you think, Kurt? You know, Robin Williams is interesting in that. I'm looking at all the titles we've said so far. He doesn't have sequels, really, in his thing. I mean, he does, but we haven't said any that have a sequel. Miss Doubtfire 2.

Oh, yeah. That's what I'm saying, is if he had made that, that would have been perfect, though. The Revenge of Yuvaganiya. But he didn't do that. He didn't make that. Well, I guess I'm out. You got nothing else? Oh.

Oh, shit. You have a lifeline, don't you? Something just popped in? No, he already went to Maddie once. What? Huh? Hold on. You got it?

Hold on. Here it comes. It's coming out. It's on its way. The Tricentennial man. Oh! Oh, Hook 2? He'll try anything.

I just said there's no sequels to any of the ones we've said so far. Yeah, I don't know, man. I'm out. I am out. I don't know any more Robin Williams films, unfortunately. There's a sequel to One Hour Photo. Yeah, it's in your phone now. Why are you bothering me?

Who needs prints? Okay, so you're out? I'm out, yeah. Great job, though. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you.

And there's one or two tickets left for Kurt's shows tonight if you guys don't have any. Please come to the shows tonight. 7.30 and 10 maybe. Ian? What dreams may come? Oh. Good one. Yeah.

He was in it. Evan, what do you got? Oh, he's going to Evan. That better be the name of the movie. Oh, shit. Fucking Jumanji. Jumanji. Fuck.

Fucking Jumanji. God damn it. Evan at first said, I go, Evan, he goes, you got this one. Oh, it's just words of encouragement. I wish that's what the lifeline was. Just helping you out a little bit. I believe in you. Win or lose.

All right, Kurt. Me? No. Just rubbing it in that you're out. No, it's my turn, but I want to see if you can finish this title as I say it. Okay. It'll be a fun little game. All right.

The. Not you, Amy. Adventures. The Adventures. The Adventures of. Baron. Von Munchausen. He was in that?

Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Wow. He played The Adventures. Okay. It's me, right? If you want.

I'm going to go with RV. Oh. Very good. Very nice pull. Ian. Popeye. Yes! Oh, so good!

That's a good one. Oh, so good! They constructed a whole town for that movie. Thank you. Thank you. That was a very earnest good job. Well, that's my lifeline Alright yeah

And you guys have to be In constant contact It's very encouraging The lifelines Yeah You got this Good job Sean where are you at

You gotta come up With something else Or you're done Earth Girls Are Easy That was Jim Carrey I know Jim Carrey was also in that movie

but I thought maybe he might have been in that movie Probably Dwayne Wade Dwayne Wade was not in that movie You don't know I do know

You know for a fact Dwayne Wade was not in Earth Girls Are Easy I know all the movies Dwayne Wade was in Bad Boys 3 Bad Boys 3. Bad Magic. Sean, you're out.

Yeah, I'm out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. True story. Sorry, Evan. But you know what I suggest you do now? What? What?

You should take a trip. Ask me where you think I, where do you think I should go, Doug? Doug, where should I go? Brazil! I only know that's a movie because of the reaction. Otherwise, I never...

One of them Terry Gilliam joints. One of them Terry got. And there are them. Is it me? Mm-hmm. Flubber. Yeah! Nice.

Flubber. Look at the panic in Ian's eyes Do you know? Wait, wait, wait What's happening? Have you not gone to your life yet? I have not We have more than one Maddie So it's confusing Yeah, my Maddie

Alright, Maddie Toys Toys! Yeah! Niceys! Yeah! Nice. Yes! That movie that happened on the Microsoft background. God. Smart. Smart reference.

If we were doing LL Cool J movies, I would have been in there, but we're not. Please. Just 45 seconds of eating a peach. That's my favorite movie of his. Now, a lot of you guys have shows tonight, but Sean, you don't have a show tonight? I was entertaining the idea, but... You might do a set somewhere?

Yeah, I might. Okay. You could do a set here, probably, if you wanted to, without leaving the building. I was just going to suggest, you know, if you don't have plans tonight, a lovely thing to do would be to spend a night at the museum. don't have plans tonight, a lovely thing to do would be to spend a night at the

museum. I thought you were just going to say go to Sassy's. The great Robin Williams vehicle, go to Sassy's. A night at, I spent $565 at Sassy's. And half of

that was the ATM fee.'s. And half of that was the ATM fee. And half of that was buying a box the grenade could explode in. Colon the E. Carmel night. The Ian Carmel night. God damn it, I ripped it. Another commercial? Ian. Amy?

Rio. What? That's her name I was like he is not in Rio To the best of my knowledge I wish he was Let's go to Rio Death to Smoochie

Rio's in the house Thank you girl Death to Smoochie Boochies I love it Uh Ian? Listen, I have no idea if this is correct or not, but I'm going to go out in a blaze of glory. You've got to go for it.

Blaze of glory. Listen, I mean, you know, Sean, I don't have a set tonight either, so I might be spending a night in the museum too. I think you mean also You're in trouble here, yeah You're in big trouble here You gotta give me the full title

Oh! Big trouble in little museum It was called A Night in the Museum 2. One wasn't enough, right, America? I think it was hit internationally, to be honest.

Oh, right, the world? Right, America and other competing markets? I don't know. A Night in the Museum 2 at the Guggenheim trying to guess what that...

Oh, so mad. So mad. I don't know what it was. A night at the Museum 2 at the Guggenheim trying to guess what that... Oh, so mad. So mad. I don't know what it was. That's one of the museums you want cultured swine. A night at the Museum 2 we're at the Van Gogh Museum in Amsterdam

trying to pretend... Van Gogh? What? Have some fucking respect for other cultures, Miller. That's the proper Dutch pronunciation. You talk to Laura like that, Ian? I do.

Ian don't talk to Laura. All right, see. I don't know, Doug. I'm sorry. I wasn't on that time. You're out. You're out. You're out.

Sorry. That's how it works. Night at the Museum 2. Battle for the Smithsonian. Really? No, is that what it's called? Are you kidding? That's so stupid.

Look how pleased you are. What do you got, Amy? You went to Rio. Now we're back. I tried to get Sean to go to Brazil. My old standby. Mars attacks. I know. It's got a lot of cameos in it. He's in it. I'm pretty sure he's in it.

He's another good one to do that with. I'm sorry, Amy. I'm sorry, Amy. Fuck. I'm sorry, Amy. You're our winner. Yay! Yay! Now, just to make all of us feel bad,

what did we miss? Man of the Year. One at a time. Happy Feet. Happy Feet and Happy Feet 2. Jacob the Liar. Oh, Jacob the Liar. Jacob the Liar.

Merry friggin' Christmas. What's Merry friggin' Christmas? What's Merry friggin' Christmas? Aladdin Returns of War. Don't you fucking start with Aladdin straight to video. He's not in that. Talking theatrical releases, motherfucker. Insomnia. Insomnia.

And Insomnia 2 The battle for the Smithsonian What was the third night of the museum called? World's Best Dad No Night of the Museum 3 World's Best Dad Did anyone say

Good Morning Vietnam? Sweet burn I said that Amy I'm the one that said that movie The fist fight for LACMA Alright well Mike and Rio It'd probably take the two of you

To come get all this stuff Come get your prizes Congratulations Yay Secure the bag. It's a big hole. There's this huge keeping silence and none of you have anything to say? You won't shut the fuck up the whole time?

I got a ton of shit to say. I said I'm keeping this joint. You did say that. I just said it off mic. So there's this scene in Three Billboards where the son, he's just like,

do birds get cancer? And then it never comes up again. Why? Why does he say that? Do they though? No. Dogs do. That's the other part

of that line. Evan, do you have a shithead? No. Or does it have to be you? What happened? This is so sweet. All right, I got it. I'll cover it all.

I'll throw one in for you. That's cool. That's good. All right, let's do some plugs. Sean, what do you got to plug? If you would, if you, you know, if you want to listen

to a different podcast or another podcast, listen to All Fantasy Everything. It's one that i'm a very regular co-host on so yeah listen to that and uh also come to the shows tonight and come to amy's show tomorrow but you'd be one of the other people that buys one of those 50 tickets so there it is and this is awesome i'm super happy thank you for being here, dude. Ian Carmel. I also think you should listen to All Fantasy Everything. The podcast that it exists. And then, I mean, is this on the podcast or is this just we're telling these people here?

It's on the podcast. It's on the podcast. This is, oh yeah. Oh, if in, what? I don't know. I don't know. I don't want to be presumptuous, Bubba. We're going to do a live All Fantasy Everything at South by Southwest on March 10th. Yeah, March 10th.

So if you're in the Austin area or you just want to come see it, me, Sean, and the GS Island are all going to be there. So come check that out and keep listening to Doug Loves Movies. Oh, I like that at the end. Yeah. That was a nice touch. Kurt Braunohler. I'm going to be at the Vermont Comedy Club March 8th through 10th.

I'm going to be at Laugh Boston March 29th through 31st. And if you're a member of the Academy of Arts and Sciences, I'd appreciate a vote for the Big Sick for Best Original screenplay for Kumail Nanjiani and Emily Gordon. Thank you very much. And see you tonight, Portland. Come to the show. Amy Miller. I will be in Seattle at Laughs Comedy

Club March 9th and 10th. I'll be in Austin at the Velveeta Room April 27th and 28th. I'll be here tomorrow night at 7.30 p.m. And please listen to my podcast, Who's Your God? And also I'll fantasy everything in Doug Loves Movies because those are the ones that I'm on. I like it.

Thank you, Amy Miller. Oh, since you won, I have to invite you to the next show. Can you come to San Diego Wednesday night? I'm going to be there already and you know that. That's perfect. That worked out great. Valentine's Day. Keep it on the DL everybody. And I'm gonna be

in Tempe, Arizona. Improv, this is the name of the club on February 24th at 420. And thanks again. Oh, Ian's got the munchies out. It's a cheese explosion. Tell us, can you just take a handful of things,

all the various sharp things, and shove them in your mouth at once, and then tell us what's going on. Without swallowing first. Just gross chewing into the microphone. It's a cheese explosion.

That's what he said. It's a cheese explosion. Thank you, guys. Thank you, Amy. Thank you, Ian. Thank you, Sean. Thank you to Helium Comedy Club. Thank you to you guys for coming out on a beautiful day.

And as always, people who say I'm just happy to be picked or a shithead? That old turtle Mitch McConnell is a shithead? Be sure to come get your cool name tag back and then bring it to San Diego. Maybe Amy will pick it because she's on there. And the people who said my name tag wouldn't get picked are a shithead.

Yeah! Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky There's no room in his heart for you Cause Doug loves movies