Doug Loves Movies - Cake Boss, El Chupacabra, and Don DiMello Guest

Episode Date: November 3, 2011

Doug welcomes a few frequent guests of the Comedy Bang! Bang! podcast: Cake Boss, El Chupacabra, and Don DiMello. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seats with 50 azipop or kernels in his teeth. There's still not more that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies! Hey everybody My name is Doug And I love movies You knew that already That sort of goes without saying This is Doug Loves Movies Coming to you from the UCB Theater

In Los Angeles on Tuesday, November 1st To Ocean's Eleven I got back yesterday from a really fun run. It was a fun run without a charity involved. A fun run of shows in Vancouver, Seattle, San Francisco, and Sacramento. So much fun without the run that I will be returning to Sacramento on January. Like it's a planet. I'm going to land on Sacramento. January.

Vancouver in February. San Francisco in December. And Seattle in April. So, yeah, work that out. Details to come. Or deets, if you want to save time, but now I've wasted a lot of time. Not a lot of time,

but some time. You know, Justin Timberlake has got some time just to worry about time right now, but the rest of us don't. Now it's time for Watch This, Not That. The number one movie in the country is Puss in Boots, which I have not seen,

but I approve of a puss in pretty much any apparel. The number two movie is Paranormal Activity 3, or as I like to call it, PA3, which I saw last night. Very exciting movie if your idea of thrills is watching a chair fall over. But now that Halloween is behind us

and cats are now and forever, see Puss in Boots, not PA3. This has been Watch This, Not That. Thank you. Very popular segment.

Now I'd like to announce a Doug Loves Movies contest. You reacted appropriately. It's very exciting. There's a bit on my CD potty mouth about how I think Morgan Spurlock should make a movie where he eats part of a cookie and drinks some milk for every household on the planet over the course of one night to see what would really happen to

Santa Claus. And that it should be called Santa Size Me. And so now, between now and December, I'll pick an arbitrary date. Let me write it in to make sure that we stick to it. What's the second Tuesday in December? Probably around the 13th?

14th. 14th, okay. Calendar man. Or lady, I can't see that far. December 14th. So between now and December 14th, I'd like you guys to make your own trailer for Santa Size Me. Yeah, two minutes or less,

as trailers often are. Animated live action, I don't give a shit. Just make a trailer for Santa Size Me. Put it on YouTube. Tweet me a link. And the person whose Santa Size Me trailer I enjoy the most might very likely be someone from Los Angeles because you guys are here for a reason. and the person who whose Santa Size Me trailer I enjoy the most might

very likely be someone from Los Angeles because you guys are here for a reason. I assume. The winner will be the person that I choose will be a guest on Doug Loves Movies. Yeah. And they will get to choose two other

guests of their choice from the past guest lists of the show. Schedules permitting. Your schedule too, because you'll have to fly yourself in and put yourself up if you're from what I like to call elsewhere. Alright, let's take a look into tonight's

prize bag. A lot of stuff. A lot of good stuff. We've got from the USA Network, we have copies of Necessary Roughness and Suits. I don't know, from those shows, I don't know which ones are still on the air or are any good, but there you go. We also have a, this only costs a dollar for whoever purchased it and then gave it to me to give to you guys, a Weight Watchers get in shape video. And

then we have, this was given to me by a company called deodorizerbag.com. This is a 4x6 deodorizer bag, which I'm assuming means you can put weed shit in it and people won't be able to smell it. We've also got, because I'm going to be on the Weezer cruise in January, we got a copy of the Weezer

CD Hurley, signed by all of Weezer, and a Weezer t-shirt and a Weezer poster potty mouth CD by yours truly also a deodorizer bag t-shirt

deodorizer bag really stepped up and if they're going to continue to give me stuff I got to learn how to pronounce deodorizer bag without stumbling over it. And then a Weezer t-shirt is in the mix. So it's a pretty good... Oh, I almost forgot.

You guys are sitting there looking at the elephant in the room. This might be a really good clue about who's about to come out here. This, the winner will receive a cake that is shaped like a ladybug I can't show it to you without spilling it on the floor but also on top of it is written

shithead yeah, so that's this is one of the better prizes we've ever offered, because the cake looks delicious and funny so let's bring him out here, my guests prizes we've ever offered because the cake looks delicious and funny. So let's bring him out here, my guests. You know how Hot Saucerman on

his Comedy Bang Bang show has an open door policy? Well, I don't. But tonight is going to be an exception. Please welcome three regulars from Comedy Bang Bang, Don DeMillo, Cake Boss, and El Chupacabra. Good evening. John Jim Mello, theatrical director.

El Chupacabra! Ah! Cocorico! That sounded like a wild animal wanted into the theater. I don't know where to start, but let's start directly to my left. El Chupacabra.

Si. May I call you Chupi? Si, como no. Can I call you Doc Benson? Yes, I'll go short and you go long. Let's do it. Like los stock market. We've met and interacted before

because I was on an in-studio episode of Comedy Bang Bang. Sure. Where you were also a guest. Uh-huh. And I'm very happy to have you. Pues I'm very happy to have you as well. I mean, you're not gonna have me necessarily.

No se odio a vos. Kick boss. Kick boss. have me, necessarily. Let's see how this show goes! Cake Boss! Cake Boss! May I call you Cake Boss? Cake Boss, yes. Because that's who I am! Okay, Cake Boss. Cake Boss.

I met you at Bumbershoot. That's right! That's why you look familiar to me. Where we were both on the show. Let me ask you this, Cake Boss. Cake Boss?

Have you ever seen a mummy? Cake Boss not only makes delicious cakes that are ladybugs with the word shithead written on them, he also is what you call a precog. Or what I call a precog, because I love movies.

I have the gift of the second sight. You do have the gift. I don't care for this weird epithet you're using to describe me. It doesn't sound proper or nice. I don't know what I said to insult you already. You call him a precog? Oh, don't say it. It's one thing when I say it.

Yes, that's true. But I won't say it in mixed company. Precog is perfectly natural. Now you're out here Mr. DeMello saying it Don DeMello is here everybody Good evening I guess we're done With the cake boss Oh we'll be back cake boss

Cake boss Hello Doug Hello Don How are you? Oh I'm terrific That's great It's nice to be here Very excited to have

The three of you here Taking a break From rehearsing My latest production To play Rapunzel To play Rapunzel? It's very exciting to have the three of you here. Taking a break from rehearsing my latest production. To play Rapunzel. To play Rapunzel? That's right.

There's a... Mr. DeMello's getting closer and closer to me. It's making me very uncomfortable. Save me a chupacabra. His hands are creeping towards us. His hands are creeping towards us We're putting on a production of Rapunzel Over there at the Sierra Madre Fairytale Theater Over there at Sierra Madre

He's like something out of the movie Ju-on What movie? Ju-on I don't know it It's Ju-on-a-mon That's right You talking about Jumanji? That's right movie? Ju-on. I don't know it. It's Ju-on-a-mon. That's right. You talking about Jumanji? That's right. Sure. I might have

a heart attack before we're done. Done. We got a girl locked up in a tower. So you've actually locked a girl in a tower and then called it a production of Rapunzel? We got a few girls up there now. you've actually locked a girl in a tower and then called it a production of Rapunzel? How long is her hair?

We've got a few girls up there now. How long is her hair? Long enough. I hope she doesn't... You didn't lock up a girl that has like a pixie cut because she'll never get down. No one will ever help her.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I thought where you might be going with that. It's not going to be easy for these girls to get out of that tower. Girls? That's what I'm telling you. We going with that. It's not going to be easy for these girls to get out of that tower. Girls? That's what I'm telling you. We've got a few of them

up there. Rapunzel? It's an ensemble. That's right. We've got a few nice Rapunzels up there that have got to fight it out.

Oh, it's like one Rapunzel enter. I mean, two Rapunzels enter, one Rapunzel leaves. I've got 16 girls up in the tower. Oh, wow. That one Rapunzel enter. I mean, two Rapunzels enter, one Rapunzel leaves. I got 16 girls up in the tower. Oh, wow. That's a cage match.

And they're beautiful, beautiful girls. And we're selling tickets. Anybody could come up there to the tower and check out the girls. Kick Boss, is he creepier than he was when we were on the show with him in Seattle? I think he's undergoing a transformation. The hand is a new wrinkle. He's never been so weird with his hand before. Oh, stop it. Stop it.

I'm legitimately uncomfortable with this. Guys, I don't have control over it all the time. Oh, your hand is like a Ouija board. Sometimes. I was going to say it's like a murderer hand that he got grafted onto a stump. Like a Frankenstein. Or like that Michael Caine movie, The Hand. Oh!

As soon as people understand I don't have control over my hand, it's hard to bring me up on charges for things. That makes perfect sense. Is that not really covered under the law somewhere? Not as far as I know. It's a loophole. Sorry, officer, I don't control it. I got a note from a doctor. And most people accept that explanation. I got a note from a doctor. And most people accept that explanation.

I got a note from a doctor. I have a note from my doctor. I might molest people because I'm high. It's crazy. We probably got the same doctor. I bet we do. They're all complete shysters. So let me ask you this.

Dr. Shyster? Dr. Don Shyster over there in the valley. Of the Connecticut shysters? I think so. I think so. Let me ask you this, CB. Who's that? I let it go.

Oh, really? I let that one go. It's initials. All right. That's fair, Cake Boss. Cake Not that one. There's initials. All right. That's fair, Cake Boss. Cake Boss. I don't know initials. What does that mean?

What does that mean, EC? I know words. I assume you are talking to me. I know words, but I do not know when letters are just together. I know words, but I do not know when letters are just together. So if somebody says I need a ride to the ER, you don't know where to take them? No. No idea.

Do you enjoy the films of J.J. Abrams? I like the movies. I like Siam Pizza, but... You like Siam Pizza? I like cyan pizza, but... You like cyan pizza? What does it say on your hat, Chupacabra? L.A. Los Dodgers. Los Dodgers.

It says KC. Por ejemplo. You thought I was a Los Angeles I just happened Because it's blue and white But it's Kansas City You got fooled by your very specific Functional illiteracy I can't take it

I might just leave and let you guys talk amongst yourselves. I'm sorry this was our idea, Doug. We apologize. We apologize. So kick, boss. Kick, boss. You think I want to be here?

I got 16 girls and a fucking tower. I really appreciate you taking time away from the 16 girls. You're welcome. That's a lot of candy. Not that rough. You must... Your mini Snickers budget must have been huge this Halloween to get 16 Rapunzels.

They call them fun-sized dog. Well, you would know. You're a chef who makes beautiful cakes. Oh, thank you. It's only my life's work is all. Why a ladybug tonight? That's not a ladybug. It's a cake bug. It's a representation of the cakebug that bit me

giving me the second sight. What's the second sight? I can see the future. That's right. You're a precog. Oh, why don't you guys are insulting me and my whole generation

and race or whatever. He doesn't like that word, pre-cock. You keep saying it. What are you, Lenny Bruce over here? Did he repeat himself a lot? Yeah, he repeated himself a lot. No, he

said words like nigger and kike. Pre is a preposition. Cog is a verb. Even breaking it down is not any less offensive. It's more offensive than the two words I just said.

To me. Look, other people are allowed to be offended by whatever words they choose. To me. Look, other people are allowed to be offended by whatever words they choose. Very not. So, Cake Boss. Cake Boss. Have you ever seen

Who is Killing the Great Chefs of Europe? Ask me how many times I've seen it, Doug Benson. It's only my favorite. Oh, you're going to ask me? How many times have you seen Who is Killing the Great Chefs? It's your favorite movie? You've only seen it, Doug Benson. It's only my favorite. Oh, you're going to ask me? How many times have you seen it? Two! It's your favorite movie? You've only seen it twice?

I don't have time to watch movies all day long. I got cakes to make. You got cake bugs to make. Look, you said, hey, bring a cake to give away. And I was like, oh, my God, what am I going to do? I don't have time to make a cake. You called me six months ago. I'm like, why have only you called me six months and one day ago.

Because a bug cake takes about a day. I got to study these bugs. I got to get inside the heads, crawl around in there. What's this guy like? Then I make a cake of it. But the inside of the bully, Then I make a cake of it. But the inside is a fully... It's a full representation

of all this exoskeletal system of a whole cake bug. And demologia. That's right. So it tastes like you're biting into cake bugs when you eat it? No, it tastes like cake. What do you call it?

Bug bones? It's not made of bugs are bugs made of cake sometimes oh deliciosa that's what it's like in heaven everything's made of cake and you can eat it including your dear the pot of relatives grandma so good to see you again i'm gonna eat your neck for uh dessert that ain't what it's like in heaven neck for dessert. That ain't what it's like in heaven. I feel like Mr. DeMello has some supernatural knowledge

that terrifies me to my core. I've died three times. What do they do? Defibrillate you every time? Yeah, that's right. The doctors brought me back. I can tell you right now, heaven is full of beautiful girls. Some of them have the hindquarters of horses.

A lot of guys are into that. Yeah, like you, apparently. I think it's all right. The hound has a mind of his own. Literally, there's a tiny brain inside of his own. Literally, there's a tiny brain inside of his hand. That's right, officer. He's not an officer.

He's El Chupacabra. And he's a chef. I'm sorry, I saw the blue and white. I assumed he was an officer. No, he's just wearing a hat. Yeah. I saw

Who's Killing the Great Chefs of Europe when I was younger. How many times? More than two, I think. Three. Maybe three or four. And in that movie, someone makes a dessert

called a bomb. That's right. That turns out to be actually a bomb. Pretty clever, right? I'm only bringing it up because I'm a little worried about your lady bomb. Bug. It's not called a lady bomb.

It's called a lady bug. At worst, it will be a covert listening device. Which it's not, by the way. At worst, the winner of this cake Will have an explosion In their mouth of delight Yeah Why do you gotta use this violent imagery An explosion in your mouth of delight

Listen if you wanna go Get to your 16 Rapunzels You're welcome to go I don't wanna hold Ah they'll keep They are trapped in a towel after all They ain't going nowhere or 16 Rapunzels, you're welcome to go. I don't want to hold you. Ah, they'll keep. They are trapped in a tower after all. They ain't going nowhere.

Seems like that's the point. They're ripening as we speak. Ah. All right, let's start with Don. Have you been too busy capturing women and putting them in a tower? Or have you been to the movies lately? I have not been to the movies lately.

I've been checking out a lot of children's theater. Checking out the competition. Various shows around town. And things of that nature. But I think that all of life is a movie. So in that sense, yeah. Oh, you're crazy crazy like a pervert that's not the expression that's not the expression it is now

anyway sometimes i'll go to one of those theaters you're not supposed to go to and see what they're showing. Who gives a shit? I don't understand. What's a theater you're not supposed to go to? You know those theaters where they do a live sex show and somebody gets killed? I think they still want an audience regardless. Sure they do. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, they want you to come. Other people don't like it. These theaters have to move around a lot.

To different towers. Yeah, right. We're on the same page, buddy. Oh, yeah. We're going to after party. I like it. Cake boss? Cake boss.

What have you seen lately in the cinema? Or at home, or on your portable devices? I've seen this movie, Layer Cake. Seems natural for you. Professional curiosity. Yeah. All it was was just a bunch of dumb people killing each other and they talked in a foreign language I couldn't understand. I don't think you see a cake the entire time.

There wasn't one cake in this movie, Doug Benson! I went to the manager, and I was like, I gotta get my money back. I did not like the movie Layer Cake, and he said, sir, that movie came out like 10 years ago. And I was like, what happened? Where am I? What have you seen lately, Chupi?

I saw P's Labyrinth. Pan's Labyrinth. Sure. Some people call it Pan's Labyrinth. Pan's Labyrinth. Pan's Labyrinth. Pan's Labyrinth. And you like that, I bet. Like all Spanish people, did you see it by holding up some eyeballs on your palms?

Yes. That was the only part I was awake for. I am put to sleep by action. If I watch Transformers 3, I fell asleep during the action scenes. But you wake up for the dialogue. Exactly. That is what fascinates me worse. So it's like you're overhearing a conversation

where these people talk about giant robots. Exactly. But you have no evidence of them yourself. I have no evidence of robots. So then for you, the moviegoer, you're like, ooh, maybe these people are lying about those robots. Yes, movies are like boring podcasts to me. I did a production of Peter Pan once on international waters we fed a bunch of girls to an alligator were they Were they dressed as clocks?

They were Wendy's. We went out there on the water with about 13 different Wendy's because we knew we was going to feed some to this crocodile or alligator or whatever the hell it was. Anyway, we had a lot of fun. All right, move away from cake, boss. Okay, boss.

I was transfixed by that hand like it was a cobra. Hypnotizing me. That's not helping. No control over it. He made a hand snake. You're the disease in that hand secure, Cobra. All right, so let's play a game. Oh, you're referring to the character marion cabretti

yes i am how do you know that cake boss cake boss because uh i've seen every sylvester starr movie there is to see and a few that are happening in the future have you seen the porno of course i have is it good it's pretty good it's not bad italian stallion work the balls i think that was from his personal life i don't think that was from the screen i'll take it either way work the ball all right shall we play a game what do we got you like games done sure how about you cake bus cake boss i would like we play a game? What do we got? You like games, Don? Sure. How about you, Cake Boss?

Cake Boss, I would like to play a very specific game. I don't know if you're familiar with it. How's it go? It's called the Leonard Maltin Game. Let's play that! I'm totally familiar with it and plan to play it, so this works out great. You want to play games?

We'll play games. I this works out great. You want to play games? We'll play games. I say that a lot. I've already mentioned what we're playing for, but who has the name tag out here in the audience? We've got Jordan with the boxing glove, as usual. Jordan with the baseball, sitting it out, because somebody's played for him. We've got... What does that say? Why did he bother bringing the baseball if he's

not allowed to play? He likes to hold it. Why can't I play for him? You can if you really want to, Cake Boss. I really want to, Cake Boss. But he's, someone has plated one for him before. He tried. Wow, he threw it in your hand.

He tried to beat me. He totally tried to nail you with that. But good catch. So we still have Don and Chupi need to pick who they want to play for. We've got one of the minions from Desperate Me. Desperate Me? What's it called? Desperate Me Wives.

Despicable Me. And it says Jane and Kevin on it. So you're playing for two people. Oh, a team. Somebody took a box that says Colon Health on it and changed it to Colin Health. So that's pretty good, especially if his name is Colin. That's brave of a guy whose name is so close to Colin in the first place to invite such a comparison. Not as brave as Secretary of State Colin Powell.

Somebody's wearing a crown back there. That's an interesting choice. Maybe it's a interesting choice maybe it's a queen she might be are you part of a job okay and uh yes there's a bunch of choices i have any idea what's happening right now i'm going to choose a catherine oh you like the bunny i like to suck the blood of goats, and goats are the same as bunnies. That's right. Goats are the same as bunnies.

It's the same thing. Hey, show me the difference, and I'll say you're right. All right, it's a little bunny with a mustache. This is adorable. And it's Catherine. It's brand new. It's still got the tag on it. Yeah, she went and bought a bunny with a mustache and put a tag on it.

Can I have the Tic Tacs? Give me the Tic Tacs. What do you think, Don? Who do you want to play for? The guy with the Tic Tacs. This jerk over here with the Tic Tacs. What does it say on the Tic Tacs? It doesn't say shit on there.

Oh, his name is Big Pack. What's your name? It says less than two calories per minute. Huh? For this evening, Tic Tac. Your name is Big Pack. What's your name? He says less than two calories per minute. Huh? For this evening, Tic Tac. Your name is Tic Tac? Ah, very creepily mysterious. Put a Tic Tac in your mouth.

I think you have found a kindred spirit. Me and Tic Tac are going out after this. Are you going to eat some of those? Yeah, why else would I take them? Me and Tic Tac are going out after this. Are you going to eat some of those? Why else would I take them? The orange Tic Tacs are like a license to eat baby aspirin. You can actually go to Dr. Scheisse for such a prescription. Now am I supposed to choose somebody from the audience?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's go ahead and pick someone. Who would you like to play for? I'll take the boxing glove. He takes the boxing glove with Jordan on it. So let me give that guy his Tic Tacs back. There you go. All right. He tried to fight the system and he lost.

You can't fight the system, Tic Tac. You just got Ashton Kutcher. Is this the same guy that's got the same name on it? No, people are allowed to have the same name. It's modern times, not the Bible. Has anyone ever won for you Jordan basketball? I mean basketball. Boxing glove. Basketball, boxing.

Very close. No one's ever won for you. Okay, good. Somebody may win for Jordan again. And, you know, you did your best. You tried not to participate. But you did bring a ball with an egg box. Cake box is inherently a contrarian.

It's true. I'm like an outlier, like from a Malcolm Gladwell book. 10,000 hours. There's going to be some people listening to this episode who don't understand half of it. Don and I are the only people that are speaking in a clear way that is understandable. I understand everything.

This is the worst thing that could happen. The independent hand had a boxing glove on it. If only in that Michael Caine movie that hand had a boxing glove. The damage it could have done. Now we're unstoppable. It is actually, in fact, it has limited his mobility. Oh yeah, less fingers. That's true.

To creep along walking like a sad, demented soul. And he's pretty frail, so I don't think he's got a lot of power behind the punch. Let's see about that. Oh! Right where I got my booster shot.

Wait a minute. Dr. Scheister? That's right. Of the Connecticut Scheisters. Doug Benson, did Jordan the baseball already win this game one time? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Recently? How long was it, Jordan?

About a month ago. I didn't understand. Here, take that back. Recently? How long was it, Jordan? About a month ago? I didn't understand. Here, take that back. You get your ball back. I'll take this lady with the name tag. There you go. It looks like a name tag. What does it say on it?

Oh, it's a lovely cartoon of you. The name is Leslie, but spelled in a fancy way with an E-Y instead of an I-E. So, excuse me all to hell. Don't box other people's name tags. It's got a nice rendition of Doug Loves Cameras on there. Let's play the letter mall game We're going to start We're going to start with El Chupacabra

El Echupi Si I only understood the second half of what you said And then we'll go to Cake Boss Cake Boss And Don DeMello Don DeMello. Don DeMello. But El...

El Chupa gets to pick the first category. Okay. Wait, how come you know okay? Because it is spelled okay, A-Y. Ooh, Lupo. You always do steps ahead of Chupacabra. That's how I got in this country.

Okay, you get to pick a category. Chupi. Okay. I lost one of my Tic Tacs. I guess it would be rude to ask that guy for another one. At Mjohnny3. Oh, Roput. He threw his Tic Tacs back.

You want your breath to be as orangey fresh as possible for those 16 Rapunzels. There were aberrations in the Tic Tac family. What's that, the oranges? The orange ones. How so? They're not minty. They're supposed to be minty and give you fresh breath,

and those ones make you feel like you ate a whole jar of Flintstones Chewables. Just one flavor of the Flintstones chewables. That's right. That was implied, dog. I'm sure they'd appreciate the feedback if you let them know over a Tic Tac. Ooh, is there a website on the box? Just let them know over a Tic Tac.

Mjohn E 3 suggested Top Build. That's movies where the Top Build performer in the movie is someone named Bill. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Okay, okay. New Year's Eve is coming up. Oh. Eventually.

So is everything. Arbor Day is going to be here soon. Eventually. Good catch on Chupacabra. Yes. Not the sinking of the Titanic. Good catch, Don DeMello. So movies that take place on or near or...

The Titanic. Have something to do with, yes, the Titanic. No, New Year's Eve. And then Toni Collette, the actress, is celebrating a birthday today. Whose? Happy birthday. Her birthday.

Oh. Yes. Logical. Celebrating in spite of the cancellation of the United States of Terror. What? This is how I find out? This is how you find out.

This is how you get the news. How are you feeling, Cake Boss? I've been making cakes for viewing parties of the United States of Terror. One for each personalidad? That's right. That's the stupidest show in the world. They got a bunch of different girls and they had only one girl playing

her. I would have said get a different girl for each girl. You do like girls. So which category would you like? Back away from cake balls. It was Top Bill. Top Bill, New Year's Eve, or Tony Collette? Top Bill!

Top Bill! Alright, this movie, the Top Bill Doctor is named Bill. Top Bill. All right, this movie, the top Bill doctor is named Bill. Not William. Bill William. Not Billy. Not Billy D. William. All right. It's not Crystal or Shatner.

It's someone who goes by Bill. Two stars from Leonard Maltin for this movie from 1988. He calls it ambitious. And he also says it's based on the book by Wade Davis. Oh!

Wade Davis! That helps no one. I know what it is. Alright, Wade, you're turned on. And there are... There are... I bet you hear that a lot. There are seven...

Seven names. How many names is there in El Chupacabra? It is seven. Smart opening bid. Seven names. Probably won't have to do it we go to cake boss I'll say five names would you skip a number I did that number was six Walk everybody through it Don I can get it in two names

Two names Bold bid Must be a sexy movie Name that tune Alright Don You get two names Two stars from Leonard Maltin 1988

Out of how many stars? Out of four I don't know what it is. Let me tell you a little bit more about it. It's ambitious. And it was based on a book by Wade Davis. Wade Davis! The movie I'm thinking of

was better than that. And the top billed actor is named Bill. Alright, alright. And your two names, that's a clue. Your two names are Michael Goff. Yeah. Goff. He played...

One of the characters. But more specifically, he was Alfred in the Batman movies directed by Tim Burton. Oh. Wait, this Wade guy ripped off Batman and put Alfred the butler in his book? Basically. And then your other name is Teresa Merritt, who I believe played Mama on

That's My Mama. You might be right about that. I'm pretty sure. Is it the last seduction starring Bill Pullman? It is not the last seduction starring Bill Pullman. But that was a better guess than I expected you to come up with

because I know your mind is somewhere else. Dom. Yeah. Dom, I think this is probably not the first time you gambled and lost on something.

That's true. I have a terrible gambling problem. Terrible. What's your game? I love the dogs. Holy shit, the gloves are off. The creepy hand

is back. My hand was getting sweaty in there. I don't like it right now. So you told him to name it, Joopie? I don't like it sweaty. Did you tell him to name it? Yeah. So El Chupacabra gets the point. Boom! The motion picture

stars Bill Pullman and motion picture stars Bill Pullman and it's called Bill Pullman Town. Nobody knows it. The Serpent and the Rainbow. It's not Bill Pullman Town? Sorry, Bill Pullman Tale. I made it tough tonight, you guys. Wasn't gonna play softball.

Oh, El Serpiente es el arcoíris? I don't know what any of that was that you just said. The movie. El Serpiente y el Arcoiris. Oh, yes. Ah, I know that. You ever see that last seduction? I went to Fiorentino.

So Chupacabra has one point. We're going to start with... We're going to start with Cake Boss. Cake Boss. And then we're going to go back to El Chupacabra and then over to Don. And let's give you some category options, Cake Boss. Cake Boss.

Would you like... It does not get old. It's kind of magical. It's amazing. You know why? Because people forget about it. It's like Denzel Washington. Does not get old.

Black don't crack. Kickbox. I threw that one in the street Yeah He threw in one without it but he mentioned

that your name is cake boss Cake boss I'm allowed to say my own name Cake boss Alright cake boss Cake boss

She's like What happens if somebody says it backwards Oh Dr. Mallow I wouldn't try it No

It is not for mortal eyes to see Sorky cock Ooh, Dr. Mello. I wasn't trying. No. It is not for mortal eyes to see. Sucky cock. That's crude. I'm ready to play the letter mulling game. Not this cake boss, but cake boss. All right, cake boss. Cake boss!

Cake boss. You Boss! Cake Boss. You think saying it at the same time makes you exempt from hearing it again? No, you are wrong, Doug Benson. If someone says it three times in their home, do you appear? If I'm free. Ironically, Michael Keaton does. He needs the gig. a gig alright here we go

would you like one of these categories Edgar Wright hasn't seen it that's movies that Edgar Wright hasn't seen who cares who is I thought all these directors were supposed to love movies so much like bodies go crazy

that it's like I eat, breathe, and fall asleep. Movies all the time. Movies, movies, movies. There's a few that he hasn't seen. I neglected my wife and family because I love movies so much. I can't relate to human beings

except if they are shadows and light on a screen. Is there a cake that you do not know? I know all cakes. He knows all cakes. All right, or Girls, Man. That's movies with either girls or man in the title.

Out of respect for Dr. Bell, I will take Girls, Man. Oh, we don't even need another category? We'll just do it? What's the third category? The third one is... Cake movies. we'll just do it category the third one is I don't I don't try not to play into what the get into the guests wheelhouse this is at king of pancakes go with the

middle I call them flapjacks they're're not cakes at all, right? No. Okay. King of Pancakes suggested movies that were number one a certain number of years ago. Oh, I fell asleep halfway through that. I stick with my original choice. Maybe it's from all the gluten. That's what made him fall asleep. Would you like the number one movie from five years ago? No, I want the Girls, Man.

Okay, here we go. Girls, Man. That's just for fun. The category is Girls, Man. The word man or girls is in this title. Two stars from Leonard Maltin. It's from 1975. Oh.

Oh. Yeah. He calls this... He says this movie has a good opening and closing. Not bad. And then he says, but even kids may find it draggy midway through.

From 1975, it's got man or girls in the title, two stars and they list, Leonard lists seven names. Eight names. I know what it is happy you're good we're gonna get to in a second on how many names you can get in cakey for name Chupi? To me it goes Yeah

It goes to you I say Name that tune He says name that movie But in his Thank you for translating In his language And how many names did you say?

I said four names Four names Okay do you want the clues again? Yeah Two stars 1975 Good opening and closing But even kids find it draggy in the middle

And the category is girls or man And your five names Four, I'm trying to keep it honest Old dog, I would love five names Your six names are But in my hubris I said four Your four names are... But in my hubris, I said four. Your four names are James Gregory,

Harold Gould, Dick Van Patten, and Phil Silvers. From 1975. I must think if only I had the power to look into the past. Now, Chupi, you already have a point, right? Technically, that's called memory.

Yeah, so this is for the win if you can't figure out what this is. Because it's two out of three. Yes, he will get to two points and win if you can't name it. It's clearly a kid's movie. They were all hunks of junk back then. Would that be weird if he said kids would be bored by and then it was an adult movie? The Towering Inferno.

Kids will not enjoy. Dinner with Andre. I know what it is. Kids don't enjoy Frost Nixon. That movie was made in 1975? He's got man on his back. I could come up with an example from the right. It's the April Donner bling, man.

It was around that time. Maybe they were watching the actual Frost Nixon debates. Yeah. Which was around 1975. Sure it was. Getting back to me. King Boss? King Boss.

James Gregory played Inspector Luke or a body builder Harold Gould of course from The Sting and The Big Boss with Joe Bologna

yes he was also in Silent Movie he was also in a production in Palm Springs of Viagra Falls is that right? yes

did you direct that? you directed that did you? I had a hand in that Falls. Is that right? Yes. Did you direct that? You directed that, didn't you? I had a hand in that. I bet I know which hand. That's right, sweetheart. Speaking of Viagra, speaking of Viagra Speaking of Viagra

The other day I saw on cable A little bit of that movie with Jake Gyllenhaal And Anne Hathaway Where they have a relationship that's all messed up Or whatever Sex, love, and drugs But then is he the inventor of Viagra or something? What does that have to do with anything?

Why is that part of the movie? I thought it was supposed to be like they're friends and they have sex and they're like, we should have done that. But then also he's like lying to his mom about how many sales he made of Viagra. I don't get it, dog. Quit stalling, cake boss.

I gotta just quickly show everybody the back of the bunny with a mustache has a butthole. Like all good mustachioed bunnies have. Why do they get so accurate with that? Did Ladybug have a butthole? After Doug's done with it, they will. A lady never tells and a gentleman never asks.

I'm gonna say that name of that movie with all those people, the drags at the middle. But I have a good opening and a good closing here. The man who turned into a sheepdog lawyer. That's got to be it. Well done. Wait. Well done, K-Paw.

K-Paw. That is incorrect. Would it help you at all if i said this movie starred kurt russell oh a little tiny bit because it would be called escape from somewhere not the computer who wore tennis shoes no because that doesn't have men or girls in the title exactly that's why i said not. The man who wore tennis shoes and acted like a computer? It's called The Strongest Computer in the World.

Really? No, The Strongest Man in the World. Why did Leonard even bother reviewing that movie? Who cares? What, are you going to take your grandkids to the museum to see it? I gotta go rent the beginning and ending of that movie.

You do not want to mess with the middle. Go up to the tower and say hi to the girls, and then come back and check out the ending. I'm gonna put the beginning and end on my Netflix queue. So El Chupacabra is our winner, everybody! Boo!

Boo! Up, down, exclamation point. Boo! Boo! Okay, balls. Up, down, down, exclamation point. Boo! Regular exclamation point. Catherine, butthole bunny mustache. The best bunny with a mustache and a butthole I've ever seen. She wins. She wins all the prizes.

Yeah, see what I'm saying? Yeah, it's ridiculous. I thought maybe it was a pencil sharpener. What are you... Come get your prizes, Catherine. This whole bag of stuff. For the record, I have no objection to the rabbit having a butthole.

There you go. Do you want to take this back or? Okay, she gets her butthole rabbit back. She doesn't seem into it after you pointed out its weird anatomical structure. And there's your uh cake from cake boss ladybug cake no no butthole she could not care less about winning this game it's angering me she doesn't want any of that stuff she's like i gotta lug all this

shit around oh thanks thanks boxing glove guy needed this he really needed something in his life i think so to turn it around never mind tic tac i like how you have two tic tacs out for later for easy access in case you get hungry sorry i didn't mean to step on what you were saying. Where did this guy come from now? He's Jordan. He's going to pick a shithead. Oh, okay. And this is Leslie. Leslie also gets to pick a shithead. El jefe de las tortas.

Is that how you say it? El jefe de las tortas. It's cake boss. It's cake boss and it's parmish. Do you guys have anything to plug? Don DeMello, your new production of Rapunzel. Production of Rapunzel. Cost you $300 to go up there

for an hour. Oh, it's like a private show kind of thing? Yeah, that's right. Cake Boss, what do you have going on? Cake Boss, dog, you have going on? Cake Boss, Doug, when does this drop? I know the terms. This plops on Friday of this week.

Oh, this coming Friday. November 4th? I'm not saying that you shouldn't do this, but you should probably go to the Paul F. Tompkins show at Lager at the Coronet on November 19th because a very special surprise guest will be there. Is it you? No, it the Paul F. Tompkins show at Lager at the Coronet on November 19th because a very special surprise guest will be there. Is it you?

No, it's not. Okay. It's someone people will be legitimately excited to see. The person from Cupcake Wars? That makes me laugh. They think they can have a war over cupcakes. You should only have a war over real cakes. Also, if you want to see Paul F. Tompkins someplace that's not Los Angeles,

maybe you live in Vancouver, Canada on November 30th, or you live in Charleston, South Carolina on December 22nd. What's the website that you could go to? PaulFTompkins.com! Perfect. I love that you love Paul F. Tompkins. That's fantastic. He's a great, great comedian.

What do you want to plug, El Chupacabra? Well, if you want to watch a fantasy football-related program... You like The League? I love The League. I love The League. The League! One of my favorite characters on that show is Nick Kroll. That's the name of a character on that show?

Nick Kroll, sí. Well, he's an actor who portrays a character on that show. So you don't know the name of the character? I'm starting to get the feeling you two are played by other people. We're all being played by somebody, no, Dom? Only a theater director would catch on to that. I'm with you, Dom. These guys are phony balonies.

You've got your hand on the pulse of their vaginas. And I... Nick has a show at Largo on November 30th. So if you're not in Vancouver... November 10th-iest? November 30th. South...eth? November 30th. 30th? 30th.

30th. I would say November, and then the two numbers in a row, but that means nothing to me. You can hear me on current-ish episodes of Who Charted and Comedy Film Nerds, so check out those podcasts, and be sure to come to the Acme Comedy Club's 20th anniversary shows this weekend in Minneapolis on November 4th and 5th to Ocean's Eleven. And thanks so much to all you guys for coming on the show. Don and Elle and Cake. Let me get a picture of you guys after I say this. As always, Jordan with the baseball is a shithead.

And the NBA lockout is a shithead. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. He hides a bolted view and prowess makes it cocky. There's no room in his heart for you. Because Doug loves movies.