Doug Loves Movies - Greg Proops, James Adomian, Ti West, and Joe Lynch Guest

Episode Date: March 14, 2012

From the SXSW Film and Interactive Conference, Doug welcomes comedians Greg Proops and James Adomian, and fimmakers Ti West and Joe Lynch. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers screaming baby sticky seeds With 50 azipop or kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies Hey everybody! Hey, everybody. This is Doug Loves Movies. Oh, did I say my name is Doug and I love movies? This is Doug Loves Movies,

coming to you from the historic Esther's Follies Theater on Saturday, March 10th to Ocean's 12 during the South by Southwest Film Interactive and Music Festival plus comedy in Austin, Texas! Yay! Since last I spoke, you listened. I saw Wanderlust. Liked it.

Good movie. And last night, here at South by Southwest, I saw the world premiere of Cabin in the Woods. Also liked it. But I'm here to tell you, don't read any reviews of this movie because they will ruin it. They will try not to ruin it,

but it's too easy to ruin it and say too much. I've said too much. Shut up, Doug. You shut up. I'm looking forward to seeing lots of movies here at South By, including 21 Jump Street, Bernie, the

Dodeca... That's a hard one to say. The Dodeca Pentathlon, Frankie Go Boom, Iron Sky, Nature Calls, Marley, Sleepwalk With Me. And also, I'm very much looking forward to hosting the Film Awards on Tuesday. So come out to that if you're here. And if you're listening to this, it's already happened.

And it was a massive success. Doug Loves Movies tapings are coming up in Minneapolis, Portland, San Francisco, Chicago and Nashville all of my tour dates are at DouglasMovies.com some corrections from last week's show did you guys hear last week's show that plopped yesterday I don't know where I got the idea

that Nathan Lane was going to be on Dancing with the Stars this season and I apologize to any sad sad person who was listening and got excited about the prospect of seeing Nathan Lane on Dancing with the Stars.

He would be a lot of fun on there. I'm sorry I did that to you. And it also turns out that Jeff Garlin was right. There is a movie called Hunter Killer but according to IMDB IMDB it stars Gerardler and hasn't been made yet that's how in touch with this industry jeff garland is remember when jeff garland was on

and he didn't wreck he didn't get the bounty hunter uh in the leonard malton game even though he's in it that was pretty awesome For those of you who live in Austin But couldn't get tickets To be in here today Because you don't have a fancy South by Southwest badge I will try to come back A-S-A-P-O-S

That's as soon as possible Or sooner As for you guys that did get in and waited in the rain, a lot of you, thank you so much for doing that. I really appreciate it, and I want to show you what you can possibly win for your trouble today.

Did you guys bring name tags? I mean, everybody has a badge with their name on it, but does anybody have fancy name tags that they made? Oh, so gentlemen with a visor. That's always good. Just scribble on anything that you own and bring it down and we're good to go. There's some over there.

Okay, good, good. So you'll get selected possibly later, but let's see what you have a chance to win. You have a chance to win a replica of the condom from the Blues Brothers. This one was not touched by Frank Oz. But probably Miss Piggy had something to do with. We also have leftover from... I keep giving away Weezer stuff because I have it.

And you guys deserve it. This is Weezer's Ratitude CD signed by all the members of the band. Also, just hot off the presses, very exciting, the Douglas Movies t-shirt. Yeah. Comes in blue or gray and you can get it at astrecords.com if you want to buy one.

Or you could just wait around and hope to win one someday. We have a CD by a gentleman who's going to be on the show today, and the CD is called Houston, We Have a Problem. We'll talk to him about that a little bit when he comes out. One of the guests brought some vitamin C emergency, which is nice to have when you're wet and cold like we are today.

He also brought a Chillerama chocolate bar. And let's see. Oh, and this sort of gives away who one of the guests is, but I'm going to share with you anyway. An innkeeper's gift pack that includes, I believe, a poster, a T-shirt, and two room keys from the nefarious room number 353 in the film. Is that? number 353 in the film. Is that? Okay, and then one of the guests also may not actually be here yet

because he just landed at the airport here in Austin and has to race over here. Maybe he went to the hotel first to, you know, because people like to look nice for you guys. So we'll see if he ever shows up. But in the meantime, I'm going to introduce him as if he's here. Please welcome, Austin, Texas, Ty West, Joe Litch, James Adomian, and Greg Proops.

One, two, three. Look at all the drips Sit wherever you want But don't No don't switch the mics though Don't switch the mics Yeah yeah yeah The mics were put out In a specific order

Shit I don't remember Which one was on which chair The right hand was on the right To your right I'm playing Mike Monty With myself already Which no one's ever played In Texas apparently

Or Or I've I'm not from Texas What's Mike Monty Oh Mike Three card Monty Yeah well you moved it Yeah Mike Monty No one's ever played in Texas, apparently. Or I'm not from Texas. What's Mike Monti? Oh, Mike Three Card Monti. Yeah, well, you moved it. Mike Monti sounded like a totally different game where there's a dude named Mike and three people.

I don't need to spell it out. Are you ever going to take a picture or are you just going to hold it there for... Novice photographer. Waiting for the drips. I don't mind photographs, but when you just sit there staring at your phone, I think you're just reading texts or watching a movie. Yeah, I'm watching Get Smart on my phone.

Have you noticed there's water pouring through the ceiling as if we're in Rangoon doing a podcast? Rango. Rangoon doing a podcast? Rango. It's, yeah, there's a drip in the ceiling because it's raining quite heavily outside. There's no danger, by the way, of any kind of electrical bullshit. When you mix water and microphones, it is a safe mix. Just, as long as you have the right mic, you'll be fine.

So, you got the right one, right? Yeah. I think he did. Did he get the right one? I probably mentioned this the last time we recorded here last year, but the Esther and Esther's Follies is a reference to the great film swimmer Esther Williams. Yeah. Is she from here? I guess so, or she has put money into this theater or something.

I don't know exactly what her connection is, but I know she's connected in some way. Austin's a huge swimming town. Yeah, we're going to be swimming if this drip keeps coming the way it is. So that's Greg Proops' voice. Say hello to everyone, Greg, so everyone knows that they're listening.

Hello, Doug Loves People. That's you. And then James Adomian is racing from the airport it is his first time in doug loves movies and so i'm not getting a chance to explain to him how the games work so he'll be marvelously and wonderfully confused fuck him if and when he shows up that's joe lynch the friendly joe lynch fuck. Thank you. Thank you very much. Who, the last time he was on Douglas Movies

in the Leonard Maltin game, he was not... Oh, he failed spectacularly. He was not happy with his performance. I'm here to fuck up again, so... Oh.

Hopefully, are you going to have any answers that are going to have Johnny Dangerously, DOA, or Gordon and the Whale? Because I don't know

where the fuck I came up with that. Or Squid and the Whale. So hopefully, one of those is the answer and then we'll be... Was anyone in Squid and the Whale, because I don't know where the fuck I came up with that, for Squid and the Whale. So hopefully one of those is the answer, and then we'll be fine. Was anyone in Squid and the Whale named Gordon? Possibly. We were just trying to keep it local for Austin.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, because the Gordon and the Whale website, and we're trying to give a shout-out. See, there's the shout-out. I thought there was a Gordon's fisherman who wore one of those little turned-up hats. See, that's just so weird how you were just like, like you were double-donging it or something like that. It was very strange.

It's like, is there a guy named Gordon who likes to... No, there's a fisherman who's a logo for a seafood, frozen seafood concern. But he will double-fucking swallow-tail it

if you ask him to. He'll snail-dart you. I will buy those sticks. He'll brown-trout you so hard. That's my understanding. Very little of that will make any sense to the listener, but... You spin your iTunes

download wisely. Try not to do the visual stuff, filmmaker Joe Lynch. Stroke, stroke, stroke, stroke, stroke. With both hands. Is that better? Sure, now people can rewind and it'll all make sense. You've already improved. It's better upon second viewing.

It's like Cabin in the Woods. It's better upon second viewing. It's like Cabin in the Woods. Oops. I'm not supposed to talk? Oh, look who's here. I didn't say anything about it. There he is. Dougie, how are you, buddy? Have a seat.

James Adomian, everybody. Hey, brother. Fresh off the airplane, folks. Oh, sorry. I was getting on you, man. How are you, man? Thank you, Greg. Good to see you, brother.

Hi, I'm Joe. Hi, how's it going? Hi, James. Hi, I'm Ty. Hi, Ty. James. Normally this stuff happens backstage. This is very exciting.

Pleasantries. Everyone's very polite backstage and on stage. I'm awful backstage. James is wearing a lovely slip-on shoe. I didn't dress for the rain, really, apparently. He's only wearing one shoe? No. Oh, no, too.

He's got two. I have two soaked shoes. But you have it, but you have a hat on for the rain. Yeah, that works out. All right. All right.

So we're all on the same page. You got your rain goggles on, AKA glasses. Uh, thank you for racing over here. Yeah. And, uh,

when you come and do comedy bang bang at the UCB theater in Los Angeles, you catch a little bit of my show sometimes because you're waiting to do that, right? Right, yeah. Yeah, so you kind of have an idea what's going to happen today. Yeah, yeah. Because we didn't really have a backstage, like me explaining things like

when people show their name tags for the Leonard Maltin game, you have to go into the audience and pick the one you want to play for and then bring it back to your seat. And if they wrote the name of the shithead on the back of it, don't read it out loud.

I'm going to get all that wrong. As soon as you see it. Well well i'm telling you now okay pay attention all right we'll see what happens i was uh about to say say hello to ty west there on the end with the again with the perfect rain pants on that's right with the knees exposed yep and uh what do you uh i know i found out you here, so I was excited to have you here. And we had you on recently, and you did great at the Leonard Maltin game, not to rub it in Joe Lynch's face. That was the first thing I said to Joe, is that I can only go down from here, because I won both games. Which is, I don't know if that's happened twice in a row for anybody.

Rub it in, West. I will. Fuck you. Fine, Cabin Fever 2, we'll start with that. Too soon. west i will fuck you um but fine cabin fever 2 we'll start with that too soon uh can we can we say what we were saying back i'm sorry can we talk about that alan smithy oh yeah yeah i'm sure yeah he ty made uh that was a low blow because i made a movie a few years ago called cabin fever 2 that was taken away from me and i tried to take my name off of it for a year and a

half which i failed at doing and so um that's where his, you know, that's why we're such good friends is because on stage here in Austin. Putting my head on Ty's shoulder. Put your head under that drip. You should put it under the drip. He tried to give it the Alan Smithy treatment but it's harder than ever now to give it the Alan Smithy treatment because everyone knows what Alan Smithy means

and so the Directors Guild is especially weird about it. They retired the name so you can't do that anymore. And so the Directors Guild is especially... Yeah, as far as I know, they're weird about it. They retired the name, so you can't do that anymore. And you can get a different pseudonym, but there's not a lot of principles left in filmmaking, so no one really wants to do that because you give up the chance to make money later if the movie happens to be successful.

So the overall response is like, you don't want to do that. And I was like, I do want to do that. And they were like, well, we don't even know who to send you to to do that because that's an insane request. And it just went around and around and around, and it became me versus the studio. And I lost that fight. So don't see it, you're saying, basically.

Well, you can see it. But you won with House of the Devil. Come on, House of the Devil fans. See, I brought it back. Well, well played. Did Alan Smithy have a pretty good retirement package When they retired him I think he's doing alright

I think he's you know St. Petersburg somewhere God damn that Joe Esterhaus Alan Smithy movie What a god damn horrible Horrible movie But I think that because The Alan Smithy movie

That was when everyone finally went, all right, enough of this. Wasn't it like Arthur Hiller at first and then he took his name off? Yeah,

and that became when everyone just went, we're not doing this anymore. Because once the Alan Smithie movie gets Alan Smithied, I think it just got too post-modern or something and people couldn't take it.

There should be a new Alan Smithie name. Can we take Alan Smithie as? What was the one you wanted to do? Fernando Fagabeefy. I think that's it.

Got rejected immediately. I wonder why. Do you think we could purloin Alan Smithy and use it at our comedy shows and go, I didn't write that one. That was an Alan Smithy joke?

We could try it. I'd probably get the same reaction it just got here. But, you know, it's worth a shot. The reaction that it got reminded me of an old 80s movie called Flatliners. Old 80s movie. Christ. Old 90s movie.

Joel Schumacher masterpiece. Okay. Clearly not. I like it. I'll back you up. I like that movie. Thank you. If you say so.

So, Ty, what brings you to South By? What are you participating in in this particular visit? There's an anthology film here called VHS. It's a midnight film. They haven't seen it, but they're excited. And I appreciate that. And so that plays, I think, Sunday night at midnight. And that and I was on the midnight shorts jury.

So I'm just sort of down here doing those two things. That's awesome. And Joe, what do you got going on? I'm on a sitcom called Holliston that's on FearNet with another horror filmmaker named Adam Green. He's going to love that reaction.

That's awesome. He didn't like me. That's coming out in April. We're doing a panel tomorrow. And I came out here for Doug Loves Movies. No, you didn't. Yes, I did. You didn't fly out to do this.

Shut up, Doug. Go with me. All right. And James has got a bunch of stuff going on, right? Yeah, I'm doing several comedy bang-bang events here at the festival. I mean, the thing. I mean, the conference. But not festival.

It's not a festival? Yeah, I don't know. Do people get mad at you if you call it a festival The not festival. It's not a festival? Yeah, I don't know. Do people get mad at you if you call it a festival? Somebody did. It's a fucking conference, man. Yeah. What the fuck is wrong with you with your slip-on shoes and your hat and your goggles? I'm from another time.

Now, you do a lot of characters on Comedy Bang Bang. Yeah, yeah. But are any of them in movies or are they more like just i believe that jesse ventura did a documentary called predator about hunting predators in guatemala that was a documentary yep until I lost creative control. And when you close your eyes, it's perfect. Still pretty good with open eyes. But there's got to be a movie star in your repertoire of amazing voices that you do?

Nope. No, I avoid them. Why? No, I'm just trying to give you the worst moment possible. No, I was going to get into that. Why would you avoid movies? Well, no, I love doing – I did a video as Drunk Orson Welles from the Notorious YouTube video he did, and that's one thing I love doing. The one where he's, like, trying to do a wine commercial, and he's like,

and that's one thing I love doing. The one where he's like trying to do a wine commercial and he's like, Ah, the French champagne has always been celebrated for its excellence. Cut. What?

That sounds like drunk you. Thank you. I'll take the compliment. Take it and run. And Greg Proops is doing his very own podcast, Smartest Man in the World, right on this very stage. Yeah, I'll be doing the Aqua version right after your show. The underwater spectacular Proops review will happen right after this.

It'll be the Esther Williams tribute show. Yeah, so go out into the rain and get back in line and come back in, you guys. Do you guys really have to go out in the rain and get back in line and come back in, you guys. Do you guys really have to go out in the rain and come back in? I think so. I think so. But they're good about letting people sit in the...

Some people got to sit in the lobby here at Esther's. How much rain does it take before people snap, before it turns into Woodstock 94? Smash it up, man. Wait, 99 is the rape one, 94 is the mud one.

Yeah, rapey Woodstock was 99 99 So we'll throw mud in this one We'll rape at the next one Fred Durst will go by on a board It'll be fine I don't know which I preferred Rapestock or Mudstock Both were good They both had their pros and cons

Rapestock went by faster Thank you for the three people who heard that one. I said Rapestock went by faster. Any concert that Fred Durst is at, you know it's fucking on like fucking Mario Brothers. So, Ty, have you seen anything here yet since you arrived? I've only seen the Midnight Sh shorts, which I saw last night. And that's it so far, because I just got in last night.

I can say there is a midnight short I recommend that people see, because it's a music video of nothing but vaginas singing. I've seen that. Oh, wait. Sorry, they weren't singing. It is nothing but with dental floss so that they can move their... Manamana. Yeah.

Oh, my God. They're being manipulated? So it's like Popworks L'Orange or whatever? That was Alan Smithy. But it was, yeah, they open, this is visual, but they open and close via help from some strings. And they're painted in different funny costumes, whether it be beards.

There's the Homer Simpson one we've all seen on the Internet. It makes a cameo. And, yeah, it was quite a weird middle of the program. It was queeftacular. Do you have to turn your head to the side to watch it? Kind of, yeah. They are all a little on a jaunty angle.

Sounds like a jaunty video in general. And have you seen any? Thanks, brother. Now, last night, Joe didn't go see Cabin in the Woods. He gave his tickets to other people because that's how much he likes it and wants other people to see it.

People have to see this movie. Can we talk about it? Are these people cool? Kind of. There's a lot of narcs in here. That's the thing. A lot of folks have seen it, but those that haven't are starting to really get into the secret of it. The less you know, and it sucks about that trailer that came out because it kind of gives stuff away.

Is there more to know than the trailer? It seems like a pretty big spoiler. Oh, no, that was American Beauty. No, it's a fantastic movie about horror movies in a way, and I'm not going to give anything more away than that. Just go see it. Go support it because it's an original horror movie that's coming out. Hopefully it doesn't get destroyed by Smurfs 2.

Has it been finished for like two years? I don't know the story of it, but it's been sitting around. Yeah, it was with MGM, and then MGM was just like, whoa, this is just too good for us. So Lionsgate took it. Yeah, MGM decided it was so good, they decided to go out of business. After they wanted a post-convergence of 3D.

Oh, this movie's great. Let's file for bankruptcy. Is MGM Nakatomi Plaza, or is it next door to Nakatomi Plaza? It's next door. Nakatomi Plaza. Yeah, next door to Nakatomi Plaza It's next door Nakatomi Plaza So then Lionsgate picked it up But I'm shocked that Every studio in town That town, not this one I would think everybody would want to pick up this movie

It's really It's really fun And different Game changer How does it end? Oh, I can tell you that because... It's one of those

movies where in the first scene you're like, oh, okay. I thought this was about a cabin in the woods. And that's all I'm going to say. You might have even given too much away there. You think so? We're talking about the very first scene? Yeah, pretty much.

Okay. It's not, you know, titties jiggling and Kevin in the woods. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm out. Okay, so it's not titties jiggling and it's not about Kevin in the woods. The ticket's sold. You're driving people away when you say there's no titties jiggling. First, you guys in time.

20 minutes in, there's titties, okay? There is titties. First act titties, you're fine. This is like good filmmaker, bad filmmaker. The first guy says, go see a movie that's nothing but vaginas singing, which is, of course, a heavenly gift. And then the next guy, there's no titties. So what the fuck's in it for me? It's not got a cabin and there's no breasts?

That's why I gave you the other option. Exactly. And it's short. You're in and out. Whoa. Chaturanga. West for the win. Yeah're in and out. Whoa. Chaturanga. West for the win. Yeah.

Nothing but net. Boom. So what are you guys looking forward to seeing? Greg, are you going to have time to see any movies? No, but I will be doing my show and then comedy bonge bonge after. And then I'm going home tomorrow, sadly, without having seen anything. But I understand that it's been marvelous. The thing that distinguishes this from a festival is that there's not that much festivities.

But I find that I confer with a lot more people. Making this more of a conference than a festival for me. I mean, when I talk to someone, they don't go, hey, whatever, let's have a drink or whatever. They're like, come here. And we get in close with each other. And we exchange a few low-key words. And then a note changes hands, and then we fuck off into the night. It's way more conferring.

A congress would be too formal. Well, if we convened, then we would all be sitting, and there would be a gavel and whatnot. But a conference, I think there's drinking and like that. And people looking at their phones a lot. Apparently everyone's phones have an amazing world inside them full of friends and stuff. And apps. Yeah, I haven't done anything at South by because I'm too busy looking at my

South by app. By the way, if you sign up to be in this festival, you receive more emails than you received since the dawn of emails. Oh my God, it's insane

how many emails they send you. Like, I didn't know I had to go to everything that ever happened. It's the girl that thinks you're going to leave her of festivals. Tuesday,

yes, I'm coming, I will be there. Relax, South By. Quit hounding me. You're too needy. I've never really had this many emails in my life before. About anything?

Nothing. No, no. Apparently this is the most important goddamn thing I've ever done in cyber world. There's a satellite up there just burning a fuse or whatever satellites have. It's possible that I actually get more satellite emails than LinkedIn emails which is a feat in itself. Fuck those LinkedIn emails.

Richard wants you to know he's on LinkedIn. Good for you, Richard. I don't need repeated reminders. Does anyone not feel mortified when they send that out accidentally to their friends? Does Richard really want you to be on LinkedIn or is he like, no!

What have I done? A lot of last minute regret there on that move. Do you know what movies are playing here, James? Are you looking forward to anything? I know nothing. I just showed up and I ran through the rain from the airport and I'm here. I have Sunday. I just showed up and I ran through the rain from the airport and I'm here. But I have Sunday. I'm going to go get drawn

into some things. Yeah, you got a badge? So just as Janet Pearson who's in charge of the film aspect of the festival says, just go see something. Just try out a movie just for the fuck of it. And if you don't like it, leave ten minutes in

but do a really loud jesse ventura impression on your way out like what would jesse ventura say i'm not buying it please do that please just go to some movie just stand up and announce what are they hiding when the lights go out just go to the alamo and and just go into the Lorax. There's no cabin and no titties. They have these cute little bumpers that they show before all the movies that are made locally and they're generally pretty funny or interesting

but it'd be funny to walk out on that. Like Jesse Ventura thinks that's the movie. These promos are clearly Illuminati. Goddamn elites. See this and more? So I'm supposed to be plugged in and brainwashed? What are you looking forward to seeing at the festival, Joe Lynch? Killer Joe tonight.

Killer Joe Lynch. Billy Freak and Lynch. It's about you. No, no it's not. It's a documentary about you. What did you say to me happens in the movie? Spoiler alert. Yeah, supposedly there's a chicken wing that gets inserted into a vagina.

I mean, that's a must-see, I'd say. In the first act, probably. The vaginas are the new found footage. Yeah. Oh, probably. Vaginas are the new found footage. Oh, dude. Now you can make a found footage vagina movie. Your fucking goal, Chronicle 2, vaginas. South by started mumblecore,

and now they've moved on to vaginacore. Vaginacore? Oh, thank God. I'm tired of... I want my vaginas to sing, not mumble. I just want Popeye's chicken to sponsor that movie I want my vaginas to vamp That's a clever gay joke I made about myself Ty, what are you going to see

Other than you have to see all the shorts to judge them I've seen that, I've done that Does the vagina thing win your vote? I can't tell you that then you have to see all the shorts to judge them. I've seen that. I've done that. Done. It's done. I've checked that off. Does the vagina thing win your vote? Is it your favorite? I can't tell you that. Okay. Secret vote.

But I can tell you that we conferred about it, as any conference would. I have the app on my phone. I have a list of all the things I want to see. I might go see the secret midnight movie tonight. I have a hunch I know what it is. But also tonight is the party for Magnolia Pictures who put out my film, so chances are I'll be way too drunk by the time

midnight rolls around. Where's that party at? I don't know. I'll let you know. I look in the phone. There's parties all over the area. It's party crazy around here. A lot of parties that no one can get into. That's the conference part.

If it was a festival, you'd be able to just bullshit your way in. But at a conference, you're like, can I see your badge? May I see your credentials, sir? I seem to have misplaced them back at my abode. I wonder why you let me in on my meager fame. My small amount of renown certainly entitles me to crash this Magnolia Films party. I'm personal friends with Ty. We were speaking only this afternoon about a movie where vaginas gave voice to their very hearts.

In song, on the wings of song, sir. I'm on the shorts panel. Yes. Not film shorts, just your shorts. I knew just with great delight. Pardon my... Answer my recommendation, perhaps. Pardon my salivating. I should have

let you two sit next to each other. Five-year-olds in a playpen. I should start separating the comedians from the filmmakers. That one's mine. Last time I was on, the comedians were doing impressions of each other, so that hasn't quite happened yet oh that could happen James

do your Greg Proops impression I've never tried this before oh okay I'm sorry so you're not a genius maybe you're stupid is that what it is I so do not talk like that I was utterly proofsian. Doesn't sound a bit like

James Cagney. Okay, Greg, your impression of James. Well, I can't relate to James, but I can... Well, you're trying to kick me into something that will be lead me down the garden path. Everybody

head for the chopper. The Council of Twelve has adjudicated. path. Everybody head for the chopper the council of 12 has adjudicated. When I was governor I was both a strong man and a diplomat making me a diplo-man. I thought of myself as more of a duplo-man.

Consumpted by large plastic blocks. When the predator blew out my chest, it was surgically replaced with Duplos. What were we talking about, Ty? Shorts? Vaginas is the last thing I heard. They seem to be pretty popular. She's trying to get a vote.

I love that. Yay, vaginas! Finally, the Macarena has been replaced. Hey, la la hoo, la la la. By a much better word. Macarena probably meant vagina. We didn't know it all this time. I bet it was a clever disguise.

Yeah, I wouldn't use the Spanish word in Texas and expect the whole crowd not to know what it fucking means. But then no one's from Texas in this room, so. Yeah, that's the interesting thing about let's just find out. Applaud if you live in Austin. Oh, that's the interesting thing about let's just find out. Applaud if you live in Austin. Oh, I was wrong.

I was wrong. I think all the out-of-town interactive and film people are too stupid to figure out that this is happening at Esther's Follies. I was just going to say a lot of people go, what's Esther's Follies? It's the first thing that people say to me and people that live here know what it is because it's been on this corner for forever.

Is it hot? Is it big? Is it one big mistake? Is it some kind of folly? I don't think that's why it's called that. Esther's Mistake. They're going to rename it tomorrow. You know why? That was a terrible name. Esther's Error has a nice ring to it. It's because this bar cost $35 million to build and took 700 lives.

That's why it's Esther's Folly. It's the Hoover Dam of bars. This is an amazing theater. Oh, shit, you guys. Huell Hauser just dropped in. This is actually 7,000 feet deep. Is that right? Yes, originally it was.

Okay, now what is this? So it goes down and down all the way to where? Just hell? No, there's just a sub-basement where we find lots of interesting artifacts of the people who were indigenous to this area. There were people who were indigenous to this area who are no longer here.

Now what is all that about? Well, some several hundred years ago, there was many different tribes that lived here and they're no longer here because they were driven out through disease. Disease? Wow! This is truly an amazing

part of California's goal. We're in Texas. We're in Texas, California! And you were worried about filling up the time? Oh no, I knew as soon as he got here from the airport, we'd be good to go. Shall we play a game or two? Yay, vagina!

Yay, vagina! That should be a game. I'll work on it. I'll go back to the lab. Hey, vagina. What's that? Yay, vagina. What's that? Gay vagina. Gay vagina.

Oh, yeah, gay vagina. Sure. I like that. What have you done? You mean my man, Jaina. Gay vagina. All right. Let's play Build a Title.

Very popular. Also very confusing. So we'll start with, since Greg and Ty and Joe have played before recently, we'll start with Greg and then we'll go to Ty, and then that way James will have a chance to figure out what the hell is going on. Slow guy. Not that you're slow, but you're just, you know, you haven't been on the show before, and you deserve a fair shake.

Oh, thanks. I appreciate that. I got some suggestions from Twitter. Of course, the winner of this game is going to get to go first in the Leonard Maltin game. And the first suggestion for Build a Title, Greg, is a gentleman named Justin Wiern, W-E-R-N, on Twitter suggested a river runs through it. So we'll lose the A at the beginning. We don't need that shit. So you need a movie that ends with river or begins with it. Greg Proops.

River runs through it came from outer space. It sure did. Peace. And then we go to Ty, who needs a movie that begins with space or ends with river. A River Runs Through It Came From Outer Space Jam. Oh. Underrated gem. I like that.

That was, Pearl Jam was originally going to be called Space Jam And then they went Why would we call ourselves that Joe Begins in jam Or ends in river Was that Meryl Streep one Oh yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Silkwood. Was it? Fuck. Yes. Yes. Pritzy's Honor. No helping from the audience. Yes, no.

Can't believe I had to tell you that. Please, ladies and gentlemen, maintain radio silence. Ghost Protocol. Ooh. I saw that movie. There's no fucking ghosts in it There's a lot of protocol A lot of protocol It's like South by Southwest

No goddamn ghosts Where is Patrick Swayze and a penny going up the wall? No one made a pot during the movie or anything Shit You still haven't thought of the Meryl Streep movie? No, keep going No, you're out Alright, then we come to James Shit. You still haven't thought of the Meryl Streep movie? No. Keep going. Keep going. Parameters. No. You're out.

God damn it. Oh. All right. Then we come to James. Okay. So. You need a movie title that ends with the word river. And it can't be The River starring Mel Gibson.

Okay. So. Or it begins with jam. Right. Which I don't know if there's anything. Moon River runs through it. Came from outer space. Yeah. It's jam.

That's how it's done. Damn you. Wow. Guy who's never played the game before just schooled Joe Lynch. I'm just going to sit in the back. So we go to Greg. You need to say it ends in moon or begins with jam. Racing with the moon, river, runs through it, came from outer space, jam.

Nice. Racing with the Moon, River Runs Through It, came from Outer Space Jam. Nice. Racing with the Moon, starring Sean Penn, Nicolas Cage, and Elizabeth McGarver. All right. Then we're back to Ty. Ends with racing or race. Begins with jam or am. begins with jam or am death racing with the moon it came wait death race i hold on was there one was there one that was just death race with no 2000 the new one yeah okay i'll take it death

racing with the moon sold river runs through it came from outer space jam i Jam. I love the polite applause. Like anything's been accomplished. If James makes this one, it'll be worth over $15,000. Oh, yeah, it's James Turing. So what is this? Can I ask what the title is that's gotten to me now? It needs to end in death,

as all things do. As all things do. Or it needs to begin with jam, as all things do. As all things do. Or it needs to begin with jam, as they also do. Hello. People are like, ugh. That's not jam. Okay. That should be easier than I think it is.

Something death. Something death. Yeah. Blah, blah, blah, death. Why don't i know uh but yeah that old class the old uh oh of course well i know i know i know um got this you got this yeah yeah uh burnt burning death uh what is it uh death burning death jam yeah burning death jam burning death pretty death Jam on top of a river running through a big old pile of jam. Okay, so you're out. Just for this round.

We come back to Greg, yeah. Mask of the Red Death Race 2000. Racing with the moon. River runs through it came from outer space jam. Well done. Okay, it's just down to Ty and Greg on this round.

Ty, what do you think? Ends in mask and you can't say the mask or just mask. Or just mask. Damn you, Rocky Dennis. Everyone's stumped, I think. I think we might have stoppers on both ends. You can't say mask?

You can't just go mask. That doesn't take any. That doesn't build anything. All the times now I have it. That just confirms that there's a foundation. It doesn't build. Understood. Call me, Ty. I can give you the answer. I got this. Well, here's the thing.

Exactly as I realized what it is by you knowing what it is, someone said it. So now I feel guilty to take it. You didn't hear anything. What kind of fucking... Who is the demon in the audience? What kind of demon voice? I want to help you for the audience.

I can't get booked on this fucking show. I am the rain child. I rise in the rains. Build it. Please build it. I was in Legend and I can't get on this goddamn movie show. Legend. Go ahead and take it it's it seems like cheating i think i should tap i think because i when he was like i got one i was like what would joe know and then i went i know what it is i want

to know what it is it's behind the mask what's that the rise of leslie vernon would be the after the raid slasher movie yeah yeah i was gonna say son of a be after the colon. Great slasher movie. Yeah, yeah, you can't. I was going to say, son of a... After the colon counts. Yeah, you can't get rid of that. Well, in that case, I don't feel so bad. You can't get rid of After the Colon Breaking Dawn Part 1. Do you think that the box cover has the colon on the box cover? Or do you think it's just us that know the colon?

On iTunes and VOD, I think it's just behind the mask. All right, so Greg Proops has a point. For Mask of the Red, Death Racing, The Moon, River, Runs Through It, Came from Outer Space Jam. That was a good one, you guys. I was going to give you Son of the Mask, but, you know. That would have been great. That's a better one. Oh, yeah.

No such movie as that. Son of the Mask. That's probably the only one. What's Jam, though? That one really, I fucked myself on that one. Did anybody come up with a jam one? Now you can speak. Jammityville whore!

You motherfucker! Wait a minute. Were you in a... Joe Litch! Off the stage! That guy! Get up here! Come on up! Because I actually thought Jamerican beauty, but then I was like, he'll never go for it. Wow. Yeah, because you don't really say American like you would jam.

Depends on what part you're from, friend. All right. Well, that was a good one, though. That was fun. And thank you, audience member, for that. And now we'll go back to not yelling out answers. And I've got to remind people, because you guys are drinking already, right? Woo!

All right. ElectroLemon suggested the next one. Let's see. So Greg got the point. So let's start with James. Okay. And then we'll go to... Hi.

Yeah, that sounds fine with me. And then we'll go to Joe. Who's that? Start with James. Me? Yeah. No, I'm the little guy.

No, you go. Okay, thank you. You guys are like twins in a hallway in a horror film. Come play with us. Yeah, why don't we have a ball?

We are singing vaginas. Mine is vagina. You're my brother. Mine just whistles. Poke. Why don't you build a timer? Do we have to start doing funny voices and poking each other? No, no, no.

It's cool. Poke. It's cool. Imagine what grade school was like. James. Yes. World's Greatest Dad. That's the suggestion?

Mm-hmm. Okay. Good movie. Yeah, directed by Bobcat Goldthwait. He's got a movie here called God Bless America. Okay. Good movie. Yeah, directed by Bobcat Goldthwait. He's got a movie here called God Bless America. Okay. Yeah. I haven't seen it yet.

Looking forward to it. So World's Greatest Dad. So you need something that ends in world or begins with dad. Can I go, it's a mad, mad, mad, mad world's greatest dad? Yes, you can. Sweet. I hope you had said the right, did he say the right number of mads? I believe there's four Mads in the title.

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad. I think so. It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad's world's greatest dad. Nice. And we go to Joe. Does that mean it has to be its? Or it. Or it.

Yeah. So, or part. You know, you could use it as part of a word. Like if there's a movie that ends in the word shit. Like if I said like the internationalist. Or like international... Is that... No? Yeah if there's a movie that ends in the word shit? Like if I said the internationalist or like international is that because... No?

That's a little tricky. I'd go with... I'd try dad. You think so? I think... I think there's a lot of... I'm still going to fuck this up.

I'm so nervous. I think there's some action on the dad end if it were up to me. I pass. Fuck it. I'm just going to fucking pass.

I'm going to pass to Ty West I can't even argue that you still suck at this just do it I told you alright so I'll go it's mad mad mad mad is that enough mad it's mad world

world's greatest dad daddy daycare I was gonna say dad why didn't you say it then? I just wanted to be up here with you guys. That's all. So now was it? It's it's or dat or care.

Care. Whoa. Care. Care. Care. Starting or ending with care? Starting with care. Or ending with it?

All you need to do is add a syllable. Yeah, I got it. Thanks, Doug. Cheers. I don't feel bad cheating at all. How does it start? It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World's Greatest Dad. It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World's Greatest Daddy Daycare Bears movie.

And may I do a little Christopher Walken from the movie very poorly? Please. I hate you. Please. I hate you. Bears. Jamboree. Yesterday when I was in my hotel, Catch Me If You Can was on, and I left right in the middle of it.

And when I came back at like 3 in the morning, it was on exactly where I left off, which is a sign. And what I find to be really, it's a great movie, but there's a point christopher walken tells that story in the beginning of the movie about the two little mice if you remember that where he's like two little mice fell into a but but by the end when he's like they're in the butter and by the end he's so like depressed that he just shouts it out at random times so then he's just sitting in a booth he's like two mice foul and it doesn't make any sense. And then Leonardo DiCaprio gets really sad and I discovered that Catch Me If You Can is the saddest second half of a movie ever.

Because it's just him trying to fix his failed family and he can't. That's what it's ultimately about. Is that the Leonardo DiCaprio pilot one? Yeah. Slash doctor, slash lawyer, slash counterfeiter. Is there stalling going on? I don't know what's happening right now?

I think we're on movie. The first word needs to be movie. Or the last word is it. The whole thing now is it's a mad, mad, mad, mad world's

greatest daddy daycare bears movie. Yeah. I don't know much. What I see. I love you. Do good times and bad times. I'm on the side of you.

I'll hate the fact that I'm true. Hit my limb. Hit my arm. Doug loves his movies oh so much. Too much. Way too much. I was, with care, I was thinking E, Carrie. Carrie, yeah, yeah, but anyway. But I'm a child of art. You went Care Bears movie. Yeah.

So, yeah, so can you think of a card. You went Care Bears movie. Yeah. So, yeah. So, can you think of a movie that starts with the word movie? Okay. Or ends in the word it. Okay. Or its. I don't think there's one that ends in its. You don't think so?

Nuh-uh. All right. How about The Snake Pit's a mad, mad, mad, mad world's greatest daddy daycare bears movie? Wow. Yeah. Snake Bears Movie. Wow. Yeah. Snake Pits. Nice. All right.

So then we come around to Joe is out. Thank God. Ty is still in this. The playing of the word. Could I do the Snake Pits of Mad, Mad, mad world. Greatest Daddy Daycare. Bear the Move E.T. the Extraterrestrial. Move E.T., yeah, I like it. I like it.

Move E.T. Wow. There's always a way out, even in the darkest, darkest corner. I don't like to lose. Now, what do you... Audience, what do you think? Does the official title end his adventures on earth Or do we end it as Extraterrestrial

Alright The guy in the front row says end it Alright so Get this fucking game over with I've got a name tag And I want that I want that candy bar There's water dripping on my head

I want that Chilorama bar that Joe brought and the Greg's CD. That's up to a $5 value. Houston, we have a problem. James, did you bring anything for me to give away to the audience? No, but I got plenty of stuff I can give away if somebody really wants it.

Wow. I don't know what that means, but congratulations, future winner. Mostly just a couple of quarters and stuff. Maybe like, did you get some, did they give you drink tickets? Maybe you can give them a drink ticket.

I haven't done, I just, I haven't done, I'm not officially here right now. You just walked in, you're not even here. I'm a man on the run from the law. Ghost protocol, Ghost protocol. Ghost protocol. All right. So which way were we going this time?

We're back around to you, Greg? Crikey. Yeah, yeah. Ends in snake or begin. Ends in snake. Yeah. Snake pits. A mad, mad, mad, mad world's greatest daddy daycare bears move the T, the extraterrestrial.

Chill. Ends in snake. Or chill. Or starts with shiel. Shiel.T. the extraterrestrial. Ends in snake. Or chill. Or starts with shiel. Chill, yeah. Extraterrestrial. Because I don't think there's any movies that begin with that whole word. Extraterrestrial.

Yeah, you'd have to use a part of it. Or start with snake. End with snake. Don't tell me what to do. Blank snake. Blank snake? No, blank Oh I'm just

I'm not giving you We're playing match game now? I'm not giving you any hints I'm just saying Is there a movie that ends in snake? No, there isn't There's one that's Black Snake Moon

I think it is, right? Yeah, yeah No, that would be too Of course, there's the snakes on the plane Yeah, but that one won't work either, will it? You're just taunting me now Mm-hmm We're teasing

Just mentioning snake movies Yeah, you are There's a Snake either, will it? You're just taunting me now. We're teasing. Just mentioning snake movies. Yeah, you are. There's a snake Plissken as a character in a movie. Yeah, there certainly is. Call Me Snake. If you'd only made a sequel called that, then I would be fucking fancy free right now instead of sweating in Austin. Yeah, why the fuck did they call it Escape from L.A. when they could have called it Call Me Snake? Exactly.

Could we say that they did in our dreams and make this the dream version of your show? Meaning my fantasy is to win And I'm lifted on a purple cloud Above this judgmental crowd of fucking damp people Damp people I got nothing I'm going to say Sheer out

Not with a bang but with a whimper I was going to try one She'll be coming around the mountain When she snakes. No, okay. Unacceptable. What do you think, James? Anything?

Unacceptable is a great M. Night Shyamalan movie. It's about a character who finds out he has superpowers and he's like, no thanks. I'm just going to keep being a mailman. Don't spoil the twist. Sorry. Okay, so it's, help me. And in Snake.

But it starts with the Snake Pit. Okay, so that's where it is currently? Yeah, Snake Pit's the Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World. The Snake Pit's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World's greatest daddy daycare bear, the movie T, the extraterrestrials trial by jury. So close! Not good! Don't encourage him!

Alright, so Ty gets the point. He's so being a consonant blocker. Yeah. But I love your, I love your, uh, you know, your spirit and your imagination and your... It's your answers and your gameplay that I have a problem with. It's your failure and your loser-dom. All right, so that was a good one.

So do I need to read the whole thing again? Snake pits the mad world's greatest bears at Trestle. Okay. Nice. What's wrong with this mic? Okay. I was kidding. Sound department's freaking out back there.

Okay, so this next suggestion, so Ty got the point, so we'll start with Joe and come back this way. Are we still playing this game? Yeah, yeah, it goes on for, we're going to play 17 rounds. The best out of 17 is going to win this thing. You guys are so good at it that it's dragging it out. Let's do one more. No, no, we'll keep going because I want Joe and James to get a chance to get a point. Good luck.

Yeah, good luck, you guys. Greg Feltes, F-E-L-T-E-S, on Twitter suggested Star Trek II, Wrath of Khan. The Wrath of Khan. So who did I say we were going to start with? Joe? Yeah so you need something that begins with Khan Or ends with Star

Star Trek 2 Wrath of Khan I gotta believe you've got this On both ends Yeah Fucking be a man and take it from both ends Like at the beginning of the show Remember the double diddling Oh shit yeah you're right

So bring that back James wasn't here for that So he's just going to clean his fingernails Or begins with Khan Star Trek 2 The Wrath of Khan Air Yes Fucking thank god

Yes For your listeners at home I've just stood up Star Trek II, The Wrath of Con Air. Yes! Fuck it! Thank God! Yes! For your listeners at home, I've just stood up and I've just cheered. I've redeemed myself until the next round and I fuck it up. Joe just did a lap of honor. All right, James, what do you think? Ends in a star or begins with air? Star Trek II, The Wrath of Con Air America.

That is, in fact, a movie starring... And point of fact... Mel Gibson and Robert Downey Jr. It was screened on picture screens. It totally played in picture houses. Rock Star Trek II, The Wrath of Khan Air. Yes. Mark Wahlberg. Mark Wahlberg and Jennifer Aniston have great sex.

It is fucking groovy chickens No amount of weed Makes that movie good Believe me that one was tested You keep trying If they sell it with groovy chickens I think it'll actually do well If you called the movie groovy chickens it would have been better Mark Wahlberg's many things

A rock star Not so many Of those things Ty West Mark Wahlberg's many things. A rock star, not so many. Of those things. Ty West, what do you think? Ends in rock, begins with America. Doesn't everything? Wait, ends in... Am I right or what?

Ends in rock, star too. Come on, Austin, fucking loosen up. No, whatever, tighten up. Whatever, fucking South by Southwest badge holders. American gigolo Yes Okay Yes, good job, Ty Late applause, but Richard Gere, we'll appeal to that

Yeah, American Gigolo Yeah, just think about it for a second, I like it Alright, back to The tremendous Joe Lynch Thank you, Vagina If I had a nickel Say it again Say the whole thing again

Enzin Rock, Star 2, War at the Con Air American Gigolo School of Rock, Star Yes Yes I'm still fucking in School of Rock Filmed here, right? Or at least Yes. Yes. I'm still fucking in. You're welcome. School of Rock.

Filmed here, right? Or at least it was a link later. Right here at Esther's Follies? It was a link later. Vicariously. Yeah, yeah. Jack Black plays a guy who teaches people about singing vaginas at Esther's Follies. School of Cock. And iCarly is there.

So try to be cool. Where are we at? Who's next? I believe it's James. Now, what is this motion picture you're trying to... It has to end in school or begin with gigolo or olo. Right. Or lo.

Right. So school of rock star trek to the Wrath of Khan Air America... American Gigolo... American Gigolo Rider. Lowrider. Yeah. Who's in that? Who's in Lowrider?

There were three... The cast is here. There were three Lowriders in the 10th row. They're having a cast party at my show. Lowrider. Is that really a thing? It was winner of the Golden Yam at the Austin Film Festival. That's Austin's fourth highest honor in cinematic achievement.

I don't know about that. I don't know. I've never heard of a movie called Lowrider. Is there a movie called Lowrider? Do you know who's in it? No. I assumed it was probably Sam Elliott and... Can you do a little Sam Elliott?

Sam Elliott and Cheech Marin. I'd see that movie. Well, you're going to ride that low, friend. Hey, I don't got to ride your low rider. If you're going to be riding low that way, we might as well make it real low. I ain't got no problem. If you're going to be riding low that way We might as well make it real This pendejo is Paco Chalupo That was more George Lopez than Cheech really Same ballpark

So you're out James Alright fair enough As long as it was played with dignity and panache Yes it was You say so and panache. Yes, it was. It was. You say so. Which way are we going? Are we at Greg now?

What's the first word again? I'm sorry. School. School. It has to end with school? Mm-hmm. Oh, back to school. Sure.

Of rock. Star 80. Star rock. Track rock. Of con air. America. Gigolo. You guys are good at this.

This is ridiculous. Okay, Ty. Empire Strikes Back to School. Yeah. I'm not messing around anymore. Shit. Is Joe still in this one? Yeah, I'm actually still in this.

Okay. So it needs to end in Empire. Okay. Which there's a lot of movies that do that. Or begin with Lo. Gigolo. Gigolo.

Okay, so Joe is out. Okay, alright, alright. Hold on. Oh, you got something? Yes. Can I say the longest day? Longest day? Why not? It's L-O. It is L-O, but this isn't? Why not? It's L.O. It is L.O., but this isn't a written game.

It's a spoken game. What happened to E.T. with the extraterrestrial Alvin and the Chumonks? See, I could have fucking gotten that. No, I wouldn't have accepted that. God damn it. I gave it my fucking all, so there you go. Yeah, no. That's, you know, your best wasn't good enough.

But, uh... wasn't good enough. But... Wah, wah. Empire Strikes Back to School of Rock Star Trek to the Wrath of Khan era American Jiggle Lo... Oh, fuck. I went so long, I forgot the goddamn... I have one for it. Jiggle Lo...

Oh. Jiggle Loone Star. Nice! Right, right up in the Lone Star state. Yeah, how many people here, right? Am I right? Yeah, you were. Well, I was so upset that you took my thunder on that one, but now I can bookend it with Empire Strikes Back to School of Rock Star...

Streck. Rap of Con Air. American Jiggle. Lone Star Wars. Episode 4. They knew. Hope. Yeah.

Laying it down for Lucas, dude. All right, Greg. You're the only one. You need something that begins with hope. Oh, hope floats. Of course, hope floats. Ty, what do you got now? I just wasn't paying attention.

Yeah. I was just still gloating. Yeah, ends in school. Ends in school or begins with floats? Ends in empire, yeah. What? Back to school. Yeah, it starts with empire, right? Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You're right. Right. Empire. Ends in empire, yeah. What? Back to school. Yeah, it starts with empire, right?

Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You're right. Right. Empire. Yeah, school's too easy.

Let's make it hard on him. Empire. Or starts with floats. Yeah, I think that might be stoppers on both ends. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Could this be the end of the round It's so easy when someone knows one They haven't done the whole thing but they know the one out there They think they're so smart Plus they're not under the pressure of all the lights That's right Excitement I don't know Tap out

Greg gets another point Wait what was it What was You had one Thank you ladies and gentlemen Empire of the Sun No you can't That doesn't work

Yeah Wait it's not called Sun comma of the Empire Excellent film though England Empire Exactly Oh there you go England Empire

Inland Empire I thought you said England Empire I was. Oh, there you go. Inland Empire. Inland Empire. I thought you said England Empire. I was like, you fucking idiot. Oh, Inland Empire? Okay, you're not an idiot. In fact, he's smarter than us. I turn so fast on people. Yeah, but Inland Empire, that would have been good. All right, well, this has been a lot of fun,

but Greg has got two points, so we're going to call Greg the winner. Yay! Oh, the winner in addition to being the're going to call Greg the winner Yay Oh the winner in addition to being the best And also the winner wonderful Oh good for me Hooray It probably brings you back to the days when you were on Whose Line Is Anyway and that guy would

Score up points for no reason Drew? I know Drew but the guy before him What was the British guy's name I don't remember I only remember good times I'm joking his name was Clive Anderson yeah Clive Anderson

and the prize that you'd win is you get to talk during the end credits you get to read the credits in the style of my choosing Greg get up and be a twat alright Clive that's what the show is like It was a lot of fun Alright so

Greg will officially be the Person who gets to go first in the Leonard Maltin game Let's see those name tags Austin, Texas We got hello The mayor Is that your twitter name? The mayor Pete

Write to him on twitter, you guys, and say, I don't know you and I'm not interested in you in any way. Is that money? There's a dollar bill right there. Oh, Paul Newman dressing packet with John written on it. And another Paul Newman packet, the guy next to him. So I'm sure both of you won't get picked. Okay. I got your vagina. There guy next to him, so I'm sure both of them won't get picked. Okay.

I got you, Vagina. There's an iPad with Chase on it. Joe, how many times have you said that in your life? About four today. Yeah. So, gentlemen, go into the audience and just take it from them. Thank you, man. All right.

He gets to keep the iPad, right? Okay, cool. Come here, Bridget the Vagina. Just take it Yeah just go grab the name tag you want to play for Whatever one speaks to you I don't know why I'm picking you up Whatever one speaks to you as an artist

As a human being But that was good no no it was excellent you did a great job What is it I went with Jingle All The Way Which has been renamed Benson All The Way Is the guy, whose name tag is it? That's Andy.

And is your name Benson? Andy is also Andy. I know my name is Benson. I mean, there's good weed in Austin, but I know my name is Benson. Let's get this sorted out once and for all. But how is it your name tag? You just threw Andy on there also?

Benson All The Way, Andy. But the Kids News network says it's non-stop fun and it's a vhs cop an impeachable source it's also turbo packed so they're lying to kids about the news on that network they loved air bud 4 too air bud 4 thank you and then turbo packed with lots of laughs for the entire family. You'll love this film. That's the film advisory board. Yeah. Oh, they liked it just because there was no singing vaginas in it. That's why they liked it.

And who are you playing for, Joe? Bridget the Vagina. That's a heart she drew underneath her name. But if you hold it sideways, it looks like a vagina. Go with me. The listeners at home, yes. It was written in period blood From a vagina

I mean It's not my thing I'm just going to check Oh, there's some people outside You want to come in? Alright So There's a window behind us

I went and looked to see what's going on James, your thing says Chase on it? Yeah, it says Chase It's an iPad that he wrote Chase on. Yeah, I figured I'd like the iPad, so I, you know. I want to see how it feels in my head. I'm waiting for the day where somebody brings their iPad and they just draw on it. And they don't actually use it to paint.

That'd be funny. Or just tape something on it. Okay, so you're playing for Chase the iPad, and Greg is playing for? I picked him because I'm from San Francisco Francisco and he apparently is too. He's wearing a San Francisco Giants cap. And you may remember not last year, but the year before, we won the World Series. And he's the at the Mayor Pete,

I believe it is. Yeah. Follow him on Twitter, you guys. You're going to gain like 20 followers. Not in Texas. Him and Tim Lincecum are just skyrocketing. Exactly.

All right, so we'll start with Greg. Baseball. It's for you. And well, two of you technically. We'll start with Greg. Litter-Multin game.

I can name it in two. Shit's about to get serious. Please, no pre-bidding. And then we'll go. I wasn't, I was just warming up Then we'll go down to Ty and Joe

So James, you'll have a chance to hopefully figure out how this is done Yes, by stalking them The one thing to remember, James Is to not guess out of turn Everybody goes in turn Like a standard game With turns, like a turn-based game. You'd be surprised.

On his third appearance, Chris Hardwick just blurted out a title as soon as he knew it and, of course, ruined it for everyone. He's used to standing in lines with people wearing costume heads, so there's not as much etiquette. It's hard to use proper etiquette when you have a papier-mâché head on. You're right. When you're Boba Fett and you've been there for 18 hours in line, you're going to blurt. I wish this crowd would honor each joke with a moment of silence more.

Am I really doing a show in here right after this? Yeah, they're coming back in to watch you do more of that. Fucking. After I pulled a grenade in this foxhole? My show ought to be a smoking ruin. Welcome to Stalingrad, the fucking podcast. I'll be fighting everyone

in the room for the last bite of rat haunch as the rain pours down while the Nazis retreat. Happy fucking Christmas, Austin. This is the Leonard Malton game.

Greg, you get to pick a category. Alright. Would you like suggested by at emo baseball repo. That's an interesting Twitter name. Emo baseball repo. Putting in so many elements that don't fit together. It's what he listens to in a car that he's repossessing on his way to the baseball repo. Putting in so many elements that don't fit together. It's what he listens to in a car that he's repossessing

on his way to the baseball game. If you condense that, it's eBay rape. Maybe he should have considered that when he picked his name. I bid on eBay rape, but I didn't end up getting it. You know, I liked eBay rape Woodstock better than I liked Amazon Woodstock. Am I like Amazon Woodstock. Am I wrong in that regard? Lost that bid. Would you like, suggested by Emo Baseball Repo,

Incontinent is the name of the category, and that is movies with a continent in the title. There are some. I did the research. Or, Dillenium, D-Y-L-L-E-N-I-M, suggested on Twitter, black that gas up.

And that's movies with either Jack Black or Kyle Gass of Tenacious D. Black that gas up. Or, celebrating a birthday today, friend of the show, Mr. John Hamm. So that would be the films of John Hamm, of which there's about six at this point. Okay.

But Mad Men is not one of them. Those are the categories? The TV program coming back on March 25th. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. I was going to go buy Banana Republic and buy some of the collection, then I remembered I'm cool. I'm going to take coffee. What do they have at Banana Republic? They some of the collection then I remembered I'm cool. I'm going to take coffee.

What do they have at Banana Republic? They have the Mad Men. Mad Men clothes? Yeah, yeah. Do they have people that stand around all day blowing cigarette smoke on the clothes so it's authentic? Yeah, they give you three scotches

and then you go in the corner and try to nail your secretary, is my understanding. It's really changing. It's making it more like Abercrombie & Fitch. Thank you. Go's really changing. It's making it more like Abercrombie and Fitch. Thank you. Go on, crowd. Sleep, my darling, sleep.

Are we making Roquefort in this fucking cave? What's happening in here? Jesus H. I'll take Incontinent, Mr. Doug. Here you go. 1985 is the year. We all remember it well. Those of us that were alive.

Three and a half stars for this movie from Leonard Maltin. He calls it exquisite. And he also says about this movie that footage was added for the network TV showing. Yeah, great clues, I know. Oh, he also says the only fault of the movie is over length. It has the title, a continent is named. A continent. Now, keep in mind, I'm the person that thinks Denver is a state.

Oh, no. So I could have fucked this up. So this movie could be Montenegro or whatever, and you think it's a continent. Okay. Monte Carlo is a continent. Yeah, all right. It's a continental. It's a fake one.

There are 11 names. I can name it in six. a continental yeah all right it's a con it's a it's a continental it's a fake one uh there are 11 names i can name it in six six he says and we go to tie these are the names of the cast reading from the bottom up 11 names have been mentioned by mr malton remember this movie's exquisite i give you five names he says five names now. Joe's got some thinking to do. Oh, strong bit. So, James, you can say two names or one name or no names, or you could say to Joe, name that movie. There's no penalty if you ask him to name it and he succeeds,

but if he fails, you do get a point. Okay. I'll say zero Zero names You think you know what this movie is Sure From 1985 Don't say sure like that

Unless Unless you understand this game more than I think you do So Greg proves Do lives hang in the balance? No lives Name that movie But somebody's going to win a bag of amazing crap Including a used condom

So you want to be a little From Blues Brothers Careful about this Name that movie. Somebody's going to win a bag of amazing crap, including a used condom. So you want to be a little careful about this. Name that movie. Out of Africa. That's correct. It could only be one. It was only one. No, there's another one. My other guess was Oceania rules.

Yeah. Australia. Yeah. It was a motion picture. Europa, Europa. Really? Yeah, there's a movie called Europa. Oh, that's right, that's right.

Well, I don't know. North America would probably be, right? It's not just America. Anyway. A tale of South America. Anyway, I'm going to retire that category immediately. Because we, we have definitely exhausted it. But, uh, James Adomian comes in, never played before, and wins the first point, you guys.

Yeah. Oh, God. Oh, I'm sorry. Watch your iPad. On behalf of Chase. Chase, whose iPad I almost dropped. Our new friend Chase. All right.

So that means Joe. Blue Jean. I just met a girl named Blue Jean. Thank you, two people. So Joe, you're going to start us off this round. Okay. Then we'll go to Ty. We'll go to Ty.

Somebody's excited. Thank you. You get to pick a category. It's Adam Green We'll go to Ty. Somebody's excited. Thank you. Here's Adam Green. He just got here. Oh, okay. Would you like Flossed in Translation that's films that have a dentist in them or

from King of Pancakes on Twitter, the King of Pancakes category, the number one movie ten years ago to this very day, according to my research, that could be inaccurate. And your third choice would be In Theaters Now, and that's movies that are in theaters now. Let's do In Theaters Now.

Joe goes with In Theaters Now. Leonard doesn't give stars to the current movies He just reviews them in an extra long form And so I'll try to pick out some stuff That doesn't give away What it is Why did he drop the stars? He just does a long On his app he does long reviews

Of the current movies Really from his own Personal point of view. He writes things like, this wasn't for me. But that's not this one. He says about this movie, he says that it's good for... He says it's maybe just good enough to please its target audience. Yeah, that's an interesting clue.

That describes every movie. And then... Clearly it's the artist. He says about this movie, he says it isn't easy making a good romantic comedy. Yeah. And that's not necessarily saying this is one. And he lists, and it's from this year, and he lists. Now, don't look it up on your iPad, Greg.

I'm not. I'm trying to get back to the name tag, but I touched something on it. That's okay. We'll never forget the Mayor Pete. We'll never forget Congressman Sam. And there are. You could do coke off these. Anyone ever notice that?

It looks like it has that coke cut off. When you see it in the stage light. 15 names, Joe Lynch. 10 names. He says 10. Then which way do we decide we're going to go? Nine names. Nine says Ty.

Greg? Five. Strong bid. James? I. Strong bit. James? I'll say six. Smart. Awesome. Very clever approach.

Kobayashi Maru. But I have to go lower. You have to go lower. So I'll say four. Okay. Name that movie. Oh, shit. All right.

You get four names It's in theaters now You remember what I said about it The clues It's not easy to make a good Yeah I'm not saying Whether it's is or isn't And he also said about it

That it might be just good enough To please it's target audience Right And your four names are John Paul Rutan. That's the first name. Then Clint Carlston. Lila Sevasta. Give away.

And George Tuliatos. So you pretty much just basically have to go off of the clues and what you think is in theaters now. Okay. What do you got? Name a movie that's in theaters now. If you win this whole thing, the crowd is going to go berserk. Please win.

Okay. What's a movie that's in theaters now? That's where I'm stumped. Don't look at me. I haven't seen anything since You, Me, and Dupree. That's a good one to stop on. It's not going to get any better. After that achievement in cinema, I said, fuck it.

They're never going to make a movie that sings like this one does, no matter what they use singing with. But you know, when we played You, Me, and Dupree in Build a Title, that was awesome because someone said Prefontaine. Ah, You, Me, and Dupree Fontaine. Yeah. What do you think, James?

What's in theaters now? Anaconda isn't. Do you want me to name some that aren't yeah yeah please titanic is not in theaters now but it's coming back soon in 3d and fuck that um um okay i'll say uh oh okay i'll say uh uh i'll say midnight in paris wow what broke dick theaters are playing that movie from a year ago? Double bill with you, me, and Dupree. I figured, I don't know how deep you reach.

No, it's in the, it's... Thanks. There's one lady back there that does know how deep I reach. That's the one back there who fucking gets it. Is that why she was laughing? I meant with my hand, not with my... Okay, so... I'll go

into my elbow if I have to. Does anybody think they know it? Wanderlust is not it. The vow? I was hoping it was the vow, just for you. It's this means war. This means war. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Alright, so is that a Jen Anston? Reese Witherspoon? Is that a Jen Anston? That's a McG movie. It's a McG joint. Mark of excellence. I really like Chris Pine and Tom Hardy and Reese Witherspoon, but from all accounts, it didn't. In other movies.erspoon, but from all accounts, it didn't...

In other movies. Yeah, by all accounts, it didn't work out. And a special announcement that I just got on my phone. If you guys want to watch the Greg Proops cast and you don't want to go back out in the rain, you can stay. We're going to have a fucking talk first, though. There's going to be parameters and ground rules And I will be expelling people Because I'm the fucking dean

Greg's had a traumatic few days you guys So it's going to be a great show The more upset you are The more fun it is for the listener I believe. That's my feeling. A lot of people believe that. Yeah, yeah.

No, you've always been one of my favorites in telling the audience how shitty they are. What choice have I? Yeah. But they won't be as damp by the time... No, they'll have dried off somewhat. It's like a steamy spaniel in here now. All right, so who just got the... What just happened?

I just got a point. Joe got a point! Joe Lynch is on the motherfucking board! Four or five podcasts from now and I'm going to win this fucking thing. Yeah, you're going to get good at this. Someday. Yeah, I'm proud of you, man. So since you got the point, we'll start with Ty

and then we'll come right back at you, right? That'll switch the order around. Ty, would you like four-letter titles? That's, you know, titles like Swat, Paul, Milk, which would be one great title, I think, Swat, Paul, Milk. Or would you like My Wife? That's movies where the director is married to an actress in the film.

Or Breaking Bald, the films in the film or Breaking Bald, the films of the great Baldwin acting dynasty. Not including Adam. Adam is not related. I'm going to go with the four-letter one. Okay, four letters. Cool. You hit pay dirt, dude,

because you get to pick. There's so many movies with four-letter titles. You get to pick from 1992 so many movies with four letter word titles you get to pick from 1992 1998 or 2004 which year would you like uh 98 98 all right leonard gives this movie three stars he calls it entertaining did he only pack one adjective for his trip around the world? The other one was just good enough to please people who like this sort of thing This movie I found entertaining Often I'm barely interested

And I can't be asked He also says about this movie that it's too sophisticated and violent for young kids yeah that's an interesting clue that anything out there is entertaining and yet also too sophisticated and violent for young kids and he lists 12 professional actors. Well, maybe not professionals, but 12 people participated in this. Oh, someone's calling from the hotline. How many names did he get in, Ty West? Eight names.

Eight names. Seven. Whoa, Joe Lynch. Fast bid. What was the category again? Four-letter word. Four-letter word is the title of the movie. Like MASH would be an example, yeah. And it's down to seven.

I'll say six. Six names. Two. Whoa! What's happening, you guys? Name the movie. Ty says name that movie. Your two names are Paul Mazurski.

That's why I had to take back the actor's thing because he's more of a director. And John Mahoney. Your two names for this 1998 entertaining, too sophisticated violent for young kids. Four letters in the title. Three stars from Len. Spin. Chud. Fuck.

Shit. Ouch. Pork. I don't know. It's a sign. Now that I've been given those two actors, I should have been able to get it. Point to Ty West. The movie's called Ants.

Ants. Ants with a motherfucking Z, motherfuckers. Ants with a Z, y'all. This movie was hip-hop before hip-hop. It's not with a Z. Yeah, Ants. Kidding with a Z. Yeah, ants. Kidding, I wasn't looking it up. Everybody's on the board in this one but Greg.

Yeah, but I have two powerful points from an earlier round that are holding me like an anchor to the fucking harbor that is Austin Street. All right, we'll start with you this round, James. Is that a stack of chips that you have off the current table? I'm going to be wearing my headphones for this next one. I'm not looking at anyone like a professional poker match. I like it. Hoodie

pulled up? Yeah, exactly. Which is my dancer name. Hoodie pulled up. If you go see me at Man Bag a little bit later tonight after my set. Man Bag. Is that on 6

next door to Vice? It's right over next to Vice. Which is also a name of an awesome John Mahoney movie. It was too

sophisticated for little gangsters. Though entertaining. Was entertaining. James. Yes, sir. You get to pick the category.

Entertaining. Then we'll go to Craig. Would you like Iron Lady? That's movies that have a female robot. A female robot. Female robot. Iron Lady. Or Beatlemania.

That's movies where either Paul, John, George, or Ringo is in the title. Or Sockblocker. That's movies with footwear, some sort sort of footwear in the title of the film yeah would you like which one of those would you like iron lady beetle namia or sock blocker uh i'll go beetle namia all right this has paul yes this yes yes this says pa, John, or George in the title. Narrowing it down for you already. Two and a half stars from Leonard. He says this movie is about a factory worker.

And he also says that the movie is redeemed to a surprising extent by the lead actor's powerful performance. And it's from 2002. Again, two and a half stars. And Leonard lists 12 names. How many names do you think you can get in? James Adomian. Are any of the 12 names John, Paul, George, or Ringo?

First of all, you can't ask questions. And secondly, no. Yes, there's a Paul in the cast. I'll say First of all, you can't ask questions. And secondly, no. Oh, wait. Yes. Yes, there's a Paul in the cast. All right.

Bonus clue. I'll go in five. Five names, he says, Greg. Name that movie. This is exciting. We're going to have a four-way tie, I think, because this is going to be tough. I know. I'm not going to lie to you. How many names does he get?

Five. All right. Your five names are Daniel E. Smith, Paul Johansson, Troy Bayer, Oba Babatunde. Molly's third highest paid actor Who doesn't love Oba Babatunde Or Sean Hatosi How do you pronounce that? I never knew

Sean Hatosi, he's been in some stuff It's a dude, right? Those are your five names And what year? And the year is 2002 Really impressive if you pull this one out Okay It's got the name of a beetle in it And the title The year is 2002. Really impressive if you pull this one out. Okay.

It's got the name of a beetle in it. Right. And the title. Did a bird just pass? Oh, yes. What? No, it's Tinkerbell trying to save me from this horrible situation. Okay. I'll say, this is not right right but I'll say the madness of

King George I was it was that was all I like five years yeah yeah yeah no it's what is it John Q John Q yeah John fucking Q with the dead so Washington we have a four-way tie this has never happened before except for a couple of times yeah I think it's happened but that's still exciting I'm still into it This has never happened before, except for a couple of times. Yeah, I think it's happened, but that's still exciting. I'm still into it. So Greg got the point, so we'll start with Ty, and then we'll go to Joe. Right?

And your options, Ty, are... Here's Johnny! That's movies where a character in the film does an impression of Jack Nicholson for whatever stupid reason or I'll be back sequels starring

Arnold Schwarzenegger I'm just going to stop you right there that's what we're going to do or schmingle mingle bingle movies with that I'm just going to stop you right there. That's what we're going to do. Or, Schmingle Mingle Bingle movies with that title. Alright, I'll be back. The year...

Should have gone with Schmingle Bingle. This is exciting. The year is 1991. Who did I say is going to go second? Which way do we go? Joe? Okay. The year is 1991. Leonard i say is gonna go second which way do we go joe okay the year is 1991 uh leonard says about this movie that it is of course it's a sequel he says it's kinder and gentler he also says about this movie that some versions when you you know when you buy it feature additional footage. Is it entertaining in any way?

Is there a sequel to Jekyll and Hyde? Let me see if it's entertaining. I don't see the word entertaining anywhere. Vaguely interesting. Oscar winning, though, is in there. Can you imagine? And there are ten names.

For the win, how many names do you think you can get in, Ty West? I think I could do negative two. Negative two, he says. Give us those two names. Negative one seems pretty obvious. Yeah, so he says negative two. So that means he's going to name the top two members of the cast and the name of the movie.

So, Joe, your only options. Negative three. Oh, Lord. Oh, my God. Now, James, this is some crazy shit. Do you think you know what the movie is? Yeah. Okay, so you have to name in the right order, according to Leonard Maltin,

from the top of the cast list down. You have to go to four names or more in the right order. Or you have to ask. Didn't Joe say three? Oh, you had three. Sorry. Yeah, Joe said three. I can't count.

So Joe said three, so you have to go to four, or you have to say, Joe, name that, and hope that he doesn't get the names in the right order, or that he's even thinking of the wrong movie, which he is not. I know, yeah. I'll say negative four. Oh, wow. It's over. Craig Proops, what are you going to do with that?

I don't know if I can name five fucking people in this movie. In the right order. All right, I can do it. That's sick. You think you can do it? Yes, yeah. He says five names, Ty West. Name the movie.

All right, name that movie, Greg. Terminator 10. Full title? The Quickening? That's correct. That's correct. You don't know it's called Judgment Day? Oh, was it?

No, I didn't remember. Oh, yes, it was. I never, you know, when I hit a colon, I see it as a period. And I just stop. Okay. Did that just fuck me on winning there? You should lose, but I'm excited to see you name the top five listed people in the right order. Because I think you're going to lose twice. I do, too.

Arnold Schwarzenegger. Correct. Linda Hamilton. Robert Patrick. Oh, Eddie Furlong. Edward Furlong! That's why I was concerned about you four. And then the fifth name is Earl Bowen.

Yes. Earl Bowen. He's the guy in the insane asylum that's always giving people shots in the neck. Joe Morton? Earl Bowen, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, so that means that Ty West has done it again. Oh, no, wait. Wait, what happened?

Who won? He asked me to name him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ty West wins done it again Oh no wait What happened? Who won? Yeah yeah yeah Ty West wins everybody Yes dude Tournament of champions Look the fuck out Doug Benson's stoner game show Who wins? Alright congratulations to Ty

Who are you playing for Ty? Andy There you go for Ty? Andy Where's Andy at? There you go Andy Good job Andy There's your bag of stuff Andy Congratulations And take your jingle all the way back Because nobody needs to look at that

And let's see who Does your name tag have a shithead on the back of it? No no Bridget So we need Bridget to come up here And not me I got her blood all over my fingers. Nice.

Menstruation is a shithead. No, don't spoil it. So yeah, come on up here Bridget. Who else? We need this gentleman's shithead. And we need Chase to name a shithead.

Oh, she's going to write it down there i heard you good good one i guess weird one actually um and what's he doing over there you're gonna write it down on there that's awesome thank you very much. Okay. Keep it local. I like it. Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap. Okay. There's more than one? Well, he's got a bunch of stuff written down. It says Eternal Sun, Sorry to the Spotless Mind, Fright Night, Solomon Cain. I think it's mostly movies.

Which Fright Night are you referring to? The remake? Don't say it. The Quickening? The original, right? Yeah. Good call. Judgment Day.

All right. So you guys got anything you want to plug really quick? Greg Proops? Yeah. I'm doing a podcast called The Smartest Man in the World. It's free to download on iTunes and apparently free for a lot of the people in this audience. Yeah, they get to stick around. They get to stick around, stay dry.

Be sure to visit the bar here, though, at Esther's and have another cocktail. I recommend Tito's Vodka, handmade vodka right here. James, you got anything coming up on the road? You're going to be on Call Me Bang Bang on IFC, I assume? Yes, I'm doing Call Me Bang Bang on IFC. I'm going to do a thing on Children's Hospital. It're going to be on commie bang bang on ifc i assume yes i'm doing i'm doing a thing on children's hospital it's gonna be fun oh nice that's a great show people love it i'll also be in portland and atlanta soon nice nice joe lynch what i know we said this last time you're on but when can they look for your next movie uh nights of badassdom will be out uh before the apocalypse oh that's the, yeah. That's the best I got. That's the best you got.

That's the best I got right now, yes. It's pre-apocalypse. And you're going to start production soon on Everly, and you're going to finally make a good Kate Hudson movie. Yes, that's my goal. So I'm very excited about that. And Halston is on. It can't be done.

It can't. He can do it. It's her in a hotel room with a lot of guns. Have you cast McConaughey yet? Because the people of Texas would like to know. We're in talks. We're in talks. That's why I'm going to see Killer Joe tonight.

And Ty West is about to start. You're starting soon on a movie with Liv Tyler. That's correct. In May slash June. Also before the apocalypse. Is that what it's called? That'd be a good name for a horror movie. May slash June.

It's about angry lesbians, roommates. Starring Kate Hudson. That would be good. I'd see the shit out of that. We'll come see VHS tomorrow night at midnight at the South Park. What's your portion of VHS called? It's called Second Honeymoon, though it doesn't say that. But I'm the second portion.

You will notice mine by being the slow burn portion, as they like to say. Oh, the slow burn. I like that. And then April 24th, The Innkeepers comes out on DVD and Blu-ray. Yeah, check it out. Innkeepers. Good stuff. Awesome.

I'm going to be taping my next album slash CD, whatever you want to call it, at Parlor Live in Bellevue, Washington on April 20th. Thank you to all my guests. Thank you to all you guys. Thank you to all you guys. Thank you, Austin, for buying South By badges and coming in with your name tags. Always a good time. Yeah, vagina. Oh, my God, the guy's thing went off,

so I got to unlock it. Oh, there it is. Okay. As always, Andrew Breitbart is a shithead. Jake Isgard is a shithead jake iscar stop raping the people stop raping them jake iscar is a shithead and uh finally governor rick perry is Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky There's no room in his heart for you Cause Doug loves movies