Drinking Wine and Talking Shit - S2E4: Glow up: inside and out

Starting point is 00:00:00 Hi Amy! Hi Sadie! How are you doing today? I'm good thank you. Very excited to be back in action. Yes I know we've had a couple of down weeks. Sorry guys, we've been a bit MIA. We've had birthdays and wedding planning and holidays. All sorts of shenanigans, work stuff, work events and things like that. So we've been a little bit busy and we're really sorry if you've missed us. We're glad that if you have missed us though. But this is Drinking Wine and Talking Shit, the space where we dive headfirst into controversial and important life topics and issues alongside our personal and professional growth. Yes that it is what it is.

Starting point is 00:00:52 So if you've not listened before please be excited that you're joining us today as we are excited that you are joining us too. Yes we are. And today we're getting glowing. I'm excited for this song because it's a bit lighthearted. I actually am. And also, I've not really had a chance to... Sadie's gone away and built this script herself this time.

Starting point is 00:01:14 We haven't done this one together again. So I'm actually even more looking forward to it. I can just join in and have a bit of fun. I quite like it that way around. Like when we do one each and we don't tell each other about it. Yeah, well I quite enjoy being like... So I found this. Whereas you find lots of really interesting stuff for like, I don't know, you go deep diving. I do dive but not quite as deep as you do. Oh guys, I love a deep dive. Keep an eye out for coming episodes though. Although we're gonna

Starting point is 00:01:39 go straight into playoffs, we have still got NSouls Part 2 coming up and the deep dive into BDD in the next couple weeks so stay tuned so today we're going to dive into the world of glow ups the good the funny the slightly cringy excited and of course how you guys can glow up inside and out too and we've all had a bit of a glow up I think I think everyone has a bit of a glow up don't you do you think everyone has a bit of a glow up. Don't you? Do you think everyone has a little bit? Oh yes, definitely.

Starting point is 00:02:08 Or if they haven't, they're going to? Yeah, or like, you know when you're at school and you thought the way you dressed was really cool and then you get older and realise that's not how you dressed anymore? It really was cool. You just get better at getting dressed up. Well I think social media helps because if I can't think of something to wear, I'll go on and I'll follow certain people and I'm like, oh what are they? Oh yeah, oh yeah, I've got something like that, yeah I'll wear that. And that goes, and I'm like oh what are they oh yeah oh yeah I've got something like that yeah I'll wear that and that goes yeah

Starting point is 00:02:26 whereas I might not have thought to put it together but yeah yes so I do like that um but let's just be a little bit real here we're not talking glow ups that just involve contour and cardio okay okay contour. Glow ups can be all about mindset shifts, energy, boundaries and learning to say no to people that you don't want to spend time with or you don't want to do something else for that drains your energy. Sometimes you have to maintain your peace as someone was saying to me the other day and I thought that was a really good point to make.

Starting point is 00:02:56 You know you want to help people but sometimes you can't and you have to kind of take a step back to maintain your peace and I think that was really interesting. It also might be about switching out your Dream Matte Mousse for a shade that actually matches your neck. Can you remember Dream Matte Mousse? Dream Matte Mousse, wait, where's that one? Oh yeah, no, that was the foundation wasn't it? Yeah and it made you look dead dry. Yeah and everyone loved it. Everyone loved it, crap! Shit that was. I know, it was shit and and they like and I saw this in a on an Instagram real not long ago It's like someone had those beads, you know them bronzing beads oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, either your pad or your brush on top of them and they just go everywhere and shit go everywhere and

Starting point is 00:03:36 Yeah, so not only I suppose we're in the era of go up So aren't we really if you haven't had a glow up go on Instagram and like, you know, like everyone's glowing up aren't they? Like look at me now, look at me, I'm glowing my teeth down. Yeah. Botox and lips. And that's fine if you want to do that, that's absolutely fine. But first of all, Amy, I would like to say because I'm on a trip. Okay.

Starting point is 00:03:57 Down memory lane. Now I've got some really cringy photos. Here's one. Oh God. Where you don't realise it at the time but you look back and you're like wow. And I posted that. Think you'll know it's good. Because when did I get, when did I get? 2007. Okay cool. That's not when I got Facebook. No that's when I got it. I got it in 2007. Yeah yeah you'd have been around the same time. Yeah

Starting point is 00:04:23 probably it was actually because I was at Gateway College. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was... I'd left school. Well actually I think it was more like 2009 for me because it was when I'd left Gateway College. I know I got in 2007 because I really know the first message I ever sent on it was to our first ever boyfriend. Right, proper boyfriend. What did it say? What you're doing probably. Oh, it's me, I'm on Facebook. I actually forgot about it. Oh, 2007.

Starting point is 00:04:45 What was your worst photo that you think you've ever posted on Facebook? It wasn't what I posted. Someone's tagged you in then, yeah? Yeah, it was our brother's friend. But one of me, I'm literally in the pub and I don't know what I'm doing but I'm taking the mick out somebody and I go like this oh yeah and then he's got this snapshot of me going like are you supposed to do that? That's nasty!

Starting point is 00:05:15 Overwhelming! I won't run them all! I think I might have enough food in my mouth. I remember there was another one when we were all at the Emporium and Sam got in but he wasn't quite old enough. Oh yeah yeah. We had a great time. Emporium's a nightclub for those who don't know it.

Starting point is 00:05:37 Yeah sorry yeah and I don't know why I wore this outfit. Ugh and I was quite chunky. You were wearing like a corset you think you were wearing in that skirt. Yeah. Black corset. I'm wearing a terrible dress. You were wearing like a corset-y thing in that skirt. Yeah, black corset. Black tutu. Black tutu. Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:05:52 My hair was just a complete, I mean, not that it looks fantastic today, but I don't know what style I was going for. I was trying to look really strong. I wasn't, I was like this. I was like, again, this doesn't look great, but I've got the worst style. The reason this doesn't look great, I've had problems, okay? Ignore the hair.

Starting point is 00:06:06 It's not about that. Your hair is fine. The way you're probably letting it fall right now is like in the picture. I remember the picture. It was just so, I don't know, like a sideband. You probably just not washed it today. It's not the same. No, I mean the colour.

Starting point is 00:06:16 She washed it fall that night. Yeah, it's still shit. Anyway, I've got this in my hair. But yeah, so, and here's that photo. And I'll go like this. And I'll go like this. And I'll go like this. And I'll go like this.

Starting point is 00:06:24 And I'll go like this. And I'll go like this. And I'll go like this. And I'll go like this. Yeah, it's still shit. Anyway, I forgot my swimwear. But yeah, so, and here's that photo. And I'll go like this. I'll see that. Yes. Piece of...idiot. It's like that's a millennial thing, isn't it? Don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it.

Starting point is 00:06:39 Hey! Like, why? Why? Anyway, so. One of my points was MSM Messenger and what we used to talk about. So I remember as well, when we had MSM Messenger, you know, back in the day, that was back in the day. That was a Windows app. And we had one computer in our house, didn't we? And I used to know I was with Liam. And we were obviously still at school doing our A-Lines. And I remember I'd

Starting point is 00:07:09 get up in the middle of the night, like in the middle of the night, but like night. And I'd be like, Mum, can you use the computer? And she'd be like, yeah. And so then me and Liam would sit chatting on MSN like, why? I was in bed as well. I remember one specific night and he'd gone to play pool or darts probably. Sweetie. And I thought, oh I've not heard from him. He'd text me and then I'd gone to bed and I was chilling and I was quite relaxed and then he'd text me saying, do you want to come on MSN? And I was like, yeah. You know when you do but you don't. You do because you want to talk to them but you don't because I was really tired. Yeah. But also can we just point out as well, text used to cost 10 pence per text. So we didn't have WhatsApp back then. So I mean this is like me sounding like I'm going back to the you know. Also we're talking to you if you don't know our main audience is also probably gonna know but if you don't know yeah obviously it cost you 10p or whatever to send your text

Starting point is 00:07:58 message and you'd have credit. So you wanted to go on MSN anyway so you were free. And I remember when I was at school and I fancied Marcus. Right, and I don't, the guy would go out with me, so I don't know why he said, I'll text you, I can't remember what it was for, but the only phone I had and I kept it in a drawer because I didn't ever use it. And we were at Newbridge.

Starting point is 00:08:18 So this would be how old were we, 13, 14 or 15 at this point? Younger than that because I was really young just as I turned 16. So 13 probably, yeah 15 at this point. Younger than that because I was really young just as I turned 16. So 13 probably, yeah. Right, yeah. Right, and I've got this old yellow Briton Nokia and I rushed to the shop with my 10 pound that I could find in coins.

Starting point is 00:08:35 To get credit. Ha ha ha! He's gonna text me, of course he's gonna text me back. Ha ha ha ha! And I remember I was like, sorry, this is another friend. So yeah, Marcus, you don't need to know who he is, his last name at all. But Claire, yeah, so our friend Claire from school. And I was with her and she was like, haven't you got a phone? And I was like, yeah, but I'm a bit embarrassed about it because they all had like, obviously they had. I don't know why.

Starting point is 00:09:06 I was still unlucky at the time. I don't think there was any reason to do that. I don't know why I felt embarrassed because when I got it, she was like, oh, that's quite good. I was like, you know. You yellow brick. Everybody had bricks. With a little antenna walking down to Thringston.

Starting point is 00:09:22 Text. Little antenna. Sorry. Everybody had Nokia so nobody else that was the only phone available and then they upgraded them the long brick phones to the Nokia's that were like a weird shape brick at the top thinner brick at the bottom

Starting point is 00:09:36 yeah yeah yeah that was it beautiful thing to be fair look at it back now and I'm like snake what else do you need We're going down the woods. Instagram. You need Instagram. We're going down the woods.

Starting point is 00:09:48 Used to do that all the time. Go down the woods, play on the ropes. Think that's how she got the scar on her face. This is before phones did dig over lives. Like, yeah, I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that.

Starting point is 00:09:56 I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that.

Starting point is 00:10:04 I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. play on the ropes, think that's how she got the scar on her face. This is before phones did dig over lives like, save money. Yeah, you have fun. Or go to hospital either way. It's alright. Don't look back now, you're like, I won't change it. You've been to the hospital so many times. So, minus the side fringe and minus like, you know when we used to wear those belts around our tops, why? Oh I know, have you seen that again? You're doing it now!

Starting point is 00:10:33 Yeah it's happening, it's all coming back! I go into a pram like I'm like, oh no. The 90s is going back to me guys. No, I mean I love the 90s. Don't get me wrong, I do, I look back and think, oh the 90s were the best movies, the best movies, they just didn't have the best clothes. And now it's all coming back in fashion, but it is what it is isn't it? It's going back to the 90s.

Starting point is 00:10:41 It's going back to the 90s. It's going back to the 90s. It's going back to the 90s. It's going back to the 90s. It's going back to the 90s. It's going back to the 90s. It's going back to the 90 look back and think, oh, the 90s were the best mood. The best mood is... They just didn't have the best clothes. And now it's all coming back in fashion. But it is what it is, isn't it? It's gonna be... It always has, like the bar bra skirts and things like that. They came back in fashion when we were young, but they were from years before. Yeah, mum said that, yeah. Things like that happen. But let's be honest, then versus now is quite a large part of glow-ups because glow-ups do not happen overnight.

Starting point is 00:11:04 Glow-ups... And just so you know, here's a picture of me in my glow up era. It's not now. And not that it's just about how you look but it's mainly about how you feel. It is your mindset definitely. And don't get wrong I'm far happier now than I was at that moment. And also we bring it back to kind of careers slightly. The things you want from life like you know your progress, things you start to achieve the things that you get better at the things that you start as a side project like the podcast that we will eventually improve and make even better you know those things have a really positive impact on the way you then act your outlook on life and that's what causes that kind of sensation. Yeah definitely definitely so what in your head then obviously you've just said a little bit out what do you think a glow up is?

Starting point is 00:11:45 Well I'd say from a listener or viewer's perspective, a glow up is somebody who wasn't so pretty before and now all of a sudden they're like, oh my god, look at them, they're so good looking, they've had their teeth done, I don't know, whatever, you know, like you've seen some of these blokes even who've gone from really skinny to dead muscly and they've had their hair sorted or whatever, or hair transplant, whatever it is that you think is like, aesthetically pleasing on the eye, that would be the idea of a globop. For me, yes, like I go from a bloody no-op to globop every weekend, like, you know what I mean? Like, you go normal week and you're like, wearing normal scrubs or whatever, and then when you start to do your plums where you're going out and stuff, yeah, kind of

Starting point is 00:12:21 completely different, that's a little mini globop for me yeah but also lifestyle changes like when I bought my own house and I finally managed to do that and when my career I changed my career and I really really was happy about it and and I've slowly got into a lovely loving relationship and now got loads of other plans in life that's a big long-term global really I think it's a long-term thing don't get me wrong we're gonna go into the funny side of it the cool funny global and the good ones and about you know and things like that but I think a glow up is something self it's self assured something that's

Starting point is 00:12:49 inside you you give to yourself and you you go and get for yourself yeah yeah definitely and yeah so it is kind of for most people you would consider that that physical change a glow up but it can be mental emotional career wise whatever you feel like is the next level for you and also it's sometimes about aligning all of that with your confidence as well. So like there's a woman that I work with, sorry, say that again. There's a woman that I work with and I don't know if she works in her office or at home because obviously we've just said scruffs all week but we work from home but she always looks dead nice, loads of makeup, well not loads of makeup but you

Starting point is 00:13:28 know she looks really nice, she looks like she's made the effort and I think are you working from home because if you are that's a lot of work to do in the morning before you need to do it. It's just, I'm working from home. Do you know when you know you're working from home though, like I might brush my hair, I won't put makeup on and I, but then when I go into the office, see how I do my hair, make sure I've got a nice outfit. But you can't see me from neck down. Like what's it matter? Well, I've got chest down. You know, as long as I look half decent and I don't look like a complete mess. Not that I get it, you don't look like a complete mess.

Starting point is 00:13:56 I obviously don't look a tramp, but you can look like one. No one's used to mind. I'm wearing a jumper and my hair's in a clip. I've not got makeup on. I've got my leggings and my slippers on underneath me. That is a lot of effort. First thing in the morning though, like, don't know what other people do, and again, guys, text us in or whatever. We'll put the number on the bottom of the screen. But you know, when you're working from home,

Starting point is 00:14:17 do you glow up or do you glow down a little bit? Just for the work from home days. Glow down. Yeah, definitely. 100% glow down. But I think as well like sometimes and I've recently tried to do this with certain people is set more boundaries and not always be available for someone who doesn't always give you that feeling of positivity, it doesn't always make you feel the same way as maybe you're making them feel and I think that's

Starting point is 00:14:43 their glow up in itself you know being able to say confidently, no, I am protecting my peace. And this person I mentioned earlier, who said the same thing, she was talking about a family member. And, you know, I've said, have you tried to help him? Have you tried to do this? And she says, I have tried. I've tried and tried and tried. And now I just, I've got to protect myself. I've had enough of it. Can you give a little context today sorry so like help herself in what way what kind of is this isn't just about the blow up? Not really, not really so she's obviously

Starting point is 00:15:12 so he's been going through some problems personally and had problems with drinking so and that's been going on for quite a long time and she says you know I've tried to help him I've tried to help him, I've tried to help him, he will not help himself, and now I just have to stay out of it because I can't keep doing it. And it's for her own good and that's fine. You're allowed to do that, that's okay. And you're in mental health and you've really tried.

Starting point is 00:15:35 And obviously someone, you can't help people who don't necessarily want to be helped as well sometimes and they'll push back against you. And then another example was someone whose friend was in quite an abusive relationship, but she just kept going back and going back and going back and she said and I've been there and I've got taxes there to help because she didn't drive you know she says I'm I was constantly trying to be there for her get her out of the situation then she'd be straight back with him. She said I've just I've tried I can't what am I supposed to do now and

Starting point is 00:16:00 yeah so. It is a difficult one that That is yeah. Yeah. And and I think obviously without going off too much of a tangent without going off on too much of a tangent with that You know, you can try and help people to improve their lives and get better and have their own personal, you know grow up Yeah but if they're not willing to do it and they're gonna keep kind of really treating you badly because because they'd rather Go against what you're saying basically or go against that help. There's only so much you can take really isn't there? So yeah, totally agree with that. Yeah. So I do have some nice tips and hints for you Amy maybe and our listeners as to

Starting point is 00:16:36 how you can grow up inside and out. So I'll take them one at a time and you can give me your verdict on what you think to these hints and tips. Okeydokey. Okay so first of all start with your mindset. Okay. Oh I know that health and well-being stuff out there at the moment guys you've got lots of it online going on for some. We've already mentioned about setting boundaries. Now what is your opinion on journaling? I think some people will probably help but I'm not gonna lie and we'll go right back to the beginning this start with your mind in a mindset

Starting point is 00:17:08 now totally agree totally agree with it we've done an episode before where I totally agree with it but then part of me goes not everything is gonna work for the same person so like a bit of meditation might not work for you a bit of yoga like I couldn't think of anything worse sometimes I sit there and I put the meditation on and I have every intention of sitting there for that 15 minutes and listening to what it has to say. But it just annoys me sometimes. I'm like, oh, I can't listen to this anymore. So it may be that you need to do something a bit different. Maybe you need to go and dance it off at a really good exercise dance class or just a rave but without the alcohol.

Starting point is 00:17:39 You know, because that's not good for the mind. If you're using this as some kind of, you know, kind of finding your inner peace sort of thing. Sometimes you might be finding the world angering or frustrating and you might want to do a boxing class, you know, things like that in terms of exercise can also clear the mind, not just sitting there listening to meditation or doing yoga. You know, there are other things you can do and lots of different ways to even swim in, get you out of the water, get you away from everything else that exists. You know, so yes, definitely start with your mindset and everything else that exists and you know so yes definitely

Starting point is 00:18:05 start with your mindset and your inner growth and what you want journaling may also help you with that personally like in the past I don't journal but I've got a book that you're gonna call it my my Bible but it's for my inner things like I I love having a drink I'm gonna drink with Sadie during the podcast and doing and you know going out with my friends but then there are other things that I've got that I want to achieve which I know that if I drink this day or I've got something to do the next day then I won't be as productive or so I journal things like that I journal oh this week I've got this to do and you know it's more of a list I think and also a few

Starting point is 00:18:37 notes for myself it's kind of a journal I suppose so I'd say yes positive but for me to sit there and write a whole journal and I don't have time do that, this is just little notes that I put myself when I think about things or tell myself, oh I've got to achieve that for the next two months, that will go in my little diary. So it is a journal, so yes, I think journal is very positive. Well my journal isn't quite like that, I don't just write because I can't, I don't know what I'm going to say. So what I do is I grade my morning and how I feel.

Starting point is 00:19:04 Okay that's a good idea. And I use words to then describe those feelings. So happy, irritable, anxious, whatever. Then I ask myself a question like what's my main goals for today? And then later on I'll go back in the afternoon and kind of do like how do I feel now? Have I achieved any of my goals today? And then I'll do it again later on at night. Have I achieved all my goals today? How do I feel now this evening? What am I going to do to try better tomorrow? And I find that much

Starting point is 00:19:31 easier, but again, hard to be consistent. I was just about to say that. Also, my journal isn't like I don't just go and start writing things down. I'll get an idea and then I'll write it down. And if it's there next to my desk, on my desk, next to my computer, and sometimes I'll just have an idea and I have to write it down because I'll forget. Like, they might have ideas, I have whilst driving. Especially for the podcast and then I'm like, what was that idea again? And it does my head in because I come up with so many and then I forget them all when it comes to actually kind of doing something.

Starting point is 00:19:57 So like, I probably need to find a way to get that sorted in the car. Obviously not whilst driving. But you know. Yeah. So, and then also another one is to kind of try to stop comparing yourself to people on social media, which we've talked about that before. Yeah. And it's kind of an obvious one and I'm sure you've heard it loads of times.

Starting point is 00:20:13 But if you're a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit

Starting point is 00:20:21 of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit I mean, there's not that many rubbish social media accounts, is there, because people post all those. But follow funny things. I mean, there is on TikTok. There's a lot of random, random shit. I mean, I've never gone somewhere where there's so much random shit, like on TikTok. I hate TikTok, and I'm never on it.

Starting point is 00:20:34 It's the weirdest thing. I mean, I have the last few weeks found myself going down a little rabbit hole because I'm fine looking for like content ideas. Yeah, yeah. And then I'm there, two hours later. Wasted two hours of my life. On TikTok, not making a TikTok, just on it. Watching people clean their accounts and hours later. Wasted two hours of my life. On TikTok.

Starting point is 00:20:45 Not making a TikTok, just on it. Watching people clean their council houses. That's what I've seen. It's quite good. Look how I've done up my council house. Love it. Love it. Great idea. I haven't got time. Great video, I'm sure. But I can't remember what the thing was. Yeah. Just watch funny things that don't actually relate to the things you want. Just watch funny things. Watch dogs doing stupid things that are so funny. Don't watch things that are going to make you go oh. Obviously for research purposes, if you're trying to get better at something in your job or something in your life, like with podcasting, I do watch podcasting and I do get oh there's these loads better than ours. But that just drives me

Starting point is 00:21:19 to be better. So you've got to find that balance. And God, have a day off social media as well. Yeah, yeah, definitely. I have to. You know? I did the other day, I was sat at my desk and I put my phone there on my windowsill and I forgot about it because it was there and not there. I will not forget about it. So I was constantly looking at it because and then I realized a couple of hours in I was like, I haven't watched my phone. The thing is, I don't forget about it but I won't keep it in my mind. If I'm posting something I'm doing for work and it's buzzing. Yeah, I don't really about it but I won't keep you from either of us. I mean, roasting something I'm doing for work and it's buzzing. Yeah, I don't really. I'll have a look at it and see what it is.

Starting point is 00:21:47 If I want, I'll have a look at it. I can't bother. I won't reply to anyone. Yeah. That can wait till later on. Especially when you're rushing around as well all the time and people are messaging you, you're sure you're at work. It's hard. And going back to that bit about self-talk being very powerful. You know, how do you talk to yourself? Do you look at yourself in the mirror and go oh that

Starting point is 00:22:05 just looks horrible or do you find things that you find attractive about yourself like I look at myself in the mirror and I'm sure a lot of people have plenty of opinions on the way I look but at the same time I think well I quite like who I am okay I'm not gonna lie yeah if I've got ten grand saved up soon I am getting my boobs done okay and maybe my bum a little bit but if I couldn't afford that ever I don't care yeah it's not something that's gonna affect your happiness you can still make yourself feel look not feeling look nice in what you're wearing and how you're

Starting point is 00:22:34 dressed and with your beautiful life and beautiful family and be happy and good for what you've got and same here all I need is a good push-up bra and I'm alright I think I'd get my teeth nice and white. I wouldn't have veneers but I'd have them nice. Well I will have them whitened at some point. So I think again it's easy to look on social media isn't it and say oh I don't look like that, I look gross. Give yourself positive out, like thoughts about yourself should I say. Yeah self talk. Talk about yourself. Yeah you know even if it's my hair looks really nice today or you know I've got a really nice nose or I'm good at this job. Yeah I'm really good at this challenge task. Yeah 100% yeah.

Starting point is 00:23:18 Okey dokey so another point I wanted to mention is kind of like the way that you dress and how we find dressing and feeling good when we get dressed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, because I always think that's a nice thing. How do you, what do you think you do when you're getting ready to go out that then makes you feel good when you leave the house? I know it's very easy for me to say that to you because people would look at you and be like, well she's dead thin obviously so that's alright.

Starting point is 00:23:42 Swat for her. Well they would. She just took her t-shirt on, she's good to go. but I wish I did obviously so that's alright. Swap for her. Well, we would. She just took her t-shirt on, she's good to go. She's got no fat to cover. I have my own... I suppose everybody has their own insecurities

Starting point is 00:23:56 or things that they don't like about themselves. I have mine, but I am a confident person, really. I don't let certain things I suppose affect me. Maybe it's something else in your life that you might need to change mindset wise to make yourself feel that way. Yes I do love getting dressed up going out, I love putting make up on, nice lip gloss you know. So what is your kind of go to style would you say? Depends on going out, like a nice pair of skinny jeans and lovely blouse, like maybe tucked in blouse, like tucked in like skinny top, some nice heels, maybe a nice pair of trainers and some jeans as well,

Starting point is 00:24:27 like a nice blouse, I love a nice blouse, I think you know a nice blouse where you can have it quite a little bit loose, rally bellied so you don't have to feel, if you're going out for dinner, don't want to feel bloated do you? Wear a nice pair of, you know, maybe little stretchy jeans, I don't know, I quite like skinny jeans but they're kind of stretchy a little bit so that you know if you get a bit full, be good. If you've had a few too many babies, you know. I do not wear jeans. Or I do like a nice dress. I do again I like

Starting point is 00:24:48 things that are figure hooking, I like to dress up and wear nice nice heels, nice dresses. You know I'm quite varied in my style but I do like like I'm quite short as well so I kind of have to dress a certain way for that because I feel like sometimes because I'm small I can look really like childlike, childish. So I like to wear quite like, very like quite nice classy clothes when I'm going out. But sometimes because you know I'm a nice pair of jeans, some skinny jeans, skinny, skinny, skinny jeans sorry, nice pair with like new Adidas on like white trainers or something.

Starting point is 00:25:18 Because I'm online a lot and also for girls you kind of like oh I need a quick dress for that. Yeah. You know girls don't really repeat outfits as often as, well, if you're into you kind of dressing up and going out and stuff, girls don't really repeat outfits as often, or if you do, you'll mix and match it with something else, I suppose, you know,

Starting point is 00:25:33 blokes wore the same pair of jeans and a T-shirt, blue one, probably noticed. As long as they look alright. As long as they look alright. But yeah, for Rose, I think it's like, oh quick, I need a dress for that event, or you know, so a lot of it's now, you're going online and you are kind of finally like, for me, I think it's like, oh, quickly address that event or, you know, so a lot of it's now you're going online and you are going to find it like quite nice, quick, easy, not that expensive things because you're probably going to wear it once.

Starting point is 00:25:54 But then if you're wanting to go a little bit more out there and you get more designer ways, like my partner just loves his Gucci and things like that. But I just think that's a bit excessive sometimes. Yeah, he loves it. He loves the style. And I'm like why? I always think that it's good to, if you're not outfit repeating and you want something that you can wear that's say new but not new, like vintage is amazing. I always think vintage is fantastic, I get loads off there. And then pretty little thing, there's always some really cheap offers on, pretty little thing.

Starting point is 00:26:27 What else? And I always think as well, you don't need to buy loads of clothes to have in a whole new wardrobe. You just need to buy certain pieces. And if you could think, if there's anything that you should be following on Instagram, if you want to think about new outfits to wear or how to mix and match,

Starting point is 00:26:40 follow people that do those sorts of things because then it will help you with your choices. Yeah. For your body shape as well. There's people out there doing it for every single shape inside. There is and also they're not highlighting, they're not highlighting like how expensive necessarily these things are. They're highlighting how you can get quick and easy things that will go and still do the nice style. So follow these social media accounts to find out a little bit more. Yeah. Another thing I was going to say was because I'm a little bit more yeah another thing I was gonna say was because I'm a little bit bigger I'm kind of going out of my comfort zone this year so did you

Starting point is 00:27:10 see my outfit I sent you for the wedding after party no okay so here it is now I'm gonna describe it to you and Amy's actually gonna see this yet until she until she puts it on this video but so obviously I'm getting married I've got my wedding dress but I have gone with a very short white dress with a massive white bow at the back yeah for the after-party. It is not something I would normally go for. Have you tried it on yet? No. And I've ordered it in a size 14. Okay, so if it is a tiny bit big, mum can take it in. But it is definitely, I would never go for something this short. Okay. But I thought, well with a fake tan,

Starting point is 00:27:56 I'll probably look okay. Now I am conscious of my arms. There you go, there's one of my inscurators. I feel like they look quite big. Yeah. So, and it's completely, like they're straps but that's it. My arms are fully out'm gonna say you get time on your dress. Oh, yeah No, because I'm so did it the day before I'll draw. Okay, so Yeah, I'm going out there and you know what? Okay. Yeah Yeah, about what? Oh, you mean you're in security is anything that you were thinking about? Yeah. Yeah So thank me. I was like, I was gonna say why should you care? Like well, should you care what people think? Yeah, yeah, what other people think, yeah. And I don't care.

Starting point is 00:28:28 It's going to look lovely anyway. Yes, okay, I'm a tiny little bit chunky. I can own that. It's going to look fantastic. My hair's not bammion. And I'm just going to go for it. I'm just going to be confident. I'm going to enjoy it. And I'm going to enjoy wearing something that I've not worn since I was a size eight. Fuck it. Fuck it. Do it. We'll share photos guys. So keep an eye out for the post wedding, well the build up to the wedding, should I say, and the follow up. But also for those of you who are listening please check us out on YouTube if you'd like to see any of the extra imagery and special media accounts, anything like that you'd like to check out, see them in the show notes

Starting point is 00:29:03 but also on YouTube for more of a visual effect. Yeah, but obviously there's lots on Instagram anyway, but I'm gonna build up, build up, it's gonna be epic. Yes, epic wedding build up. And after the wedding, I'll tell you how much it cost. I'm not gonna tell you that yet. That's a really good one, that's a good one that is because wedding costs. It's ridiculous mate. Yeah. Okay so another one Amy, another tip or another thing to help you feel better, feel good in yourself, get some time for yourself is to upgrade your self-care. Okay so that might be going to the gym, a little swimming or yoga or whatever, but also your skin and hair routines,

Starting point is 00:29:47 having some nice beauty sleep, getting hydrated, and again, dressing for the energy you want. Give it that fuck it vibe. Yeah, guys, that I could not stress enough, the fuck it. So some days you're not gonna always feel like that. It's like you can say that. But some days you just need to get up and be like, fuck it, I'm gonna do me, I'm gonna be confident whilst I do it, and no one's gonna fucking

Starting point is 00:30:10 tell me otherwise. And again, Silly's gonna say, well that's easy for you, but I'll tell you in detail how I look when I do this. No, no, no, not what I'm about to say. So an example of when I do this is like for me, you know if I feel overdressed, you know if someone's invited you to a party and it's empty, or you're going for a meal but you're born like a really over the top dress that you probably over thought, but right I look damn good in it anyway and you really want to wear it and then you start walking through the room and everyone's looking at you, own it. Just walk down, like about, you know, what anybody thinks.

Starting point is 00:30:37 You walk in there with confidence, head up high, back straight, you know, and not give a crap what anyone thinks because it's your day and you're having your take in this moment and it's yours and that can be in any situation at work, you know, when you're seeing friends or you're going somewhere where you're a bit nervous to go because you've got to meet new people, whatever it is, just try and forget everything in your mind in that moment and be like, fuck it, I'm doing it. Yeah, definitely. And someone, the other day, we were out having a drink and quite a large girl came in wearing quite a figure hooking dress.

Starting point is 00:31:09 And my friend said to me, oh, if you came out in that, I'd fucking tell you this, tell you that. And I was like, well, maybe she thinks she looks pretty in that. Who cares? Then it were you to tell me what I shouldn't, shouldn't be wearing. Yeah, at the end of the day,

Starting point is 00:31:21 and me and Amy are very big believers in this, we all die. Who cares? Who cares? Who cares what anybody else thinks? Yo, lo, have fun, achieve the most, do the most, do everything, do everything you're scared of because you're gonna die. Feel the fear and do it anyway. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:31:36 That's how you grow. And when I say you're gonna die, that's in a positive way, not in a negative way. Why worry? You're gonna die eventually. Yeah. No one will remember you in a hundred years unless you make them remember you and you're gonna die eventually. No one will remember you in a hundred years unless you make them remember you and you can you're not gonna do that so quietly. Exactly. Just be yourself, love your life, go for it. Just honestly feel the fear and do it anyway. Yeah so anyway

Starting point is 00:32:00 so yeah upgrading your self care. Get yourself some face masks, you know, get your nails done, whatever it is, you know, make yourself feel good about yourself because again, life's short and you should. Yeah, I mean, I always have them face masks with hyaluronic acid in them because I'm not going to lie, literally, they did seem amazing on my face. My partner uses some of that as well. And when he takes it off, his whole skin just looks completely moisturized. Glowing. So it's a glow face mask, hyaluronic acid and pomogonate

Starting point is 00:32:25 or hyaluronic acid and watermelon. Very nice. Very nice. So, got a little quote for you. I want you to take this away with you today guys. Looking good isn't the glow up, it's how you feel when you look in the mirror and think yep, she's coming together. It doesn't have to be perfect right now guys, it's coming together. Yeah, you get, you know, and it's not- You're making those changes. Yeah, and it's not just like say about the way you look, do whatever you want to do to make yourself look and feel better, or it's also all on the inside and it won't just come

Starting point is 00:32:58 with how you look, that'll be part of it, and how you dress because you want to make yourself feel good, but also the activities you do in your life and the goals you have and you know how you treat your body and your mind. Now some of my favourite things in terms of glowing up are having a bit of a declutter, clear out, get your house organised, hate it when my house is a tip and it's always tip so it really overtakes me. But declutter your space, that is such a big thing for people that talk about you know self-help if you listen I listen to a lot of audiobooks I listen to atomic habits I've listened to Rachel Rogers we should all be millionaires I've listened to so many different self-help books

Starting point is 00:33:35 what was it seven habits of highly effective people six habits for success all that shit but don't get me wrong but they all say the same thing declutter your space declutter your mind That's very true. And surround yourself with people who build you up, not people that bring you down. It's okay. So another story, as someone mentioned this, again in another book I was listening to, I think it was We Should All Be Millionaires by Rachel Rogers, fantastic book if you want to go and read it. And she said that every year, and I weren't sure about this because I'm a big believer in they're still your friends, you should

Starting point is 00:34:08 stick by them, but she has a friend audit. Okay, and if they don't make the cut and they're not reciprocating her behavior or, you know, they're negative or they're not giving her what she feels she needs mentally and emotionally, as well as she would give them back or as much as she was giving back, she'd be like, no, and they'd cut them off. And I'm thinking like, I know I've got friends like that, but at the same time, I feel like I'm there to help them and guide them through.

Starting point is 00:34:34 I don't feel like I'm just gonna cut them off. Also, if you didn't speak to them for ages, but then all of a sudden they text you and were like, oh, I'm so sorry, I'm not speaking to you, I've been so busy, like, would you just like, oh no, sorry, I'm not your friend anymore. Yeah, I know, what would you say? Because you were going through something in life and there, I just couldn't care.

Starting point is 00:34:47 I mean, I think there must be very big, you know, reasoning behind this. You can't just be like, oh, I'm not that person's friend anymore. What if they were ill or they had a family member die and they just don't give you what you needed back in a friendship for the last six months? I don't think it was like that. There must be some really big prerequisites in terms of whether or not they meet the audit or stay in the number. Yeah, definitely.

Starting point is 00:35:10 And then one more which I think is actually really interesting is say goodbye to environments where you feel small, whether that's work, social media or relationships. So what doesn't empower you? What does it make you feel positive? What does it make you feel happy? I think that's an interesting one because I think with work if you're not feeling small then it's fault is that. I mean maybe you need a bigger better place to be a better place to work maybe there's not enough you know opportunities at the place you're already at but also are you working

Starting point is 00:35:38 hard enough to show you want that next step so there's that element to it as well but yes definitely agree especially relationships and I feel if you're not treated the way you treat other people and you're not appreciated the way you appreciate other people then yes you do need to consider that for yourself again for your own mental health you know once anyone's taking the piss out of them do that I think but I also think you need to think about yourselves as well you can't just blame everything on your environment you know you've got to think where am I yeah no I just went on that one point yeah where am I and where do I fit in here? And you know, do I need to make adjustments here or there? Do I need to find a new job? Do I need to, you know, make sure that those relationships I've got are working for me, but also at the same

Starting point is 00:36:14 time, think about whether or not you need to put in some extra input there as well. That's part of your globe as well. Maybe you're not giving your friends what they need from you. Maybe you're not working as hard as what you need to at work. Obviously yeah we're not just saying it's all external things that impact you however there are sometimes things that do so what we would like you to do as the listeners if you've listened this far is to comment down below what is the one thing in your environment that's blocking your glow. Please tell us. Please. Yes please do. Our final tip or hint is to work on the confidence on the inside. So this might take the form of therapy, coaching or podcasts like this one where you listen and take our advice maybe.

Starting point is 00:36:59 And join in the conversation. Yeah whatever helps you grow emotionally. I am a very big believer in reading books of all different types that help you grow professionally, personally, emotionally. I've got a massive library so if you want me to share the books that I've read up to now, there's a lot in them, then I will and some really, really good ones. I will write some recommendations actually. Yeah, I definitely think you should do that. Yeah. Also to celebrate the small wins. So recently I completed an award for something. It didn't take me very long. It wasn't overly difficult, but we still went out to celebrate anyway,

Starting point is 00:37:30 because at the end of the day, I've done it. And also, fantastic point is to forgive yourself for your past person, if you feel like you're not them anymore. It's okay, we've all had embarrassing moments, we've all done silly things, we've all made mistakes. Forgive and forget that. Move on, build who you are now.

Starting point is 00:37:48 She or he was learning and that is part of the growth. Exactly, do you know how many times I've done silly, made silly mistakes at Moik when I was first training and things like that and you know, you learn to grow and get better at things but also your confidence increases as you do. Make mistakes, it's fine and sod it. If you made a mistake, all right, try not to do it again.

Starting point is 00:38:05 You know, I'm enjoying you really vigilant next time, but you're always gonna learn from things, and that's just how we grow anyway. So to grow and to glow is to forgive and forget. I had a client meeting the other day, and I had not done this particular type of meeting before, and I knew it was gonna be shit, because I wasn't prepared enough,

Starting point is 00:38:21 because no one had told me enough about it. But I know that I'm gonna do this loads of times now now so after I've done my first one I thought well that was sure but it's fine because it will get better because now I know what I'm doing because now I've had to actually go through it and the second one was far better you know it is just what it is um so um our final quote for the day that you can take away with you is that the real blow up is healing from what dimmed you in the first place. Which I think is beautiful. It is very true. Fabulous. So okay we have also got our listener stories now just before we finish. We asked you lot to send us your best global stories and you definitely delivered. So story number one from Warflower to Workshop Queen.

Starting point is 00:39:01 This is from Mel. she's dirty, well. I'm Mel and I spent most of my career in admin, quietly doing everything behind the scenes. I never spoke up in any meetings and I really avoided presenting at all costs. One day my manager asked me to run a short onboarding session and I almost quit on the spot. But instead of panicking, I prepped like my life depended on it and I did actually push it in the end. That win led me to delivering training across the company. Two years later I started my own virtual assistant business and now won confidence workshops for women in corporate environments. My glow-up wasn't physical, it was about stepping into my own voice and I've never been happier. That's a

Starting point is 00:39:40 brilliant story Mel, thank you. It is and I did just pop below like I really like this one because it's about feeling the fear and doing it anyway, which we talk about all the time. Yeah, definitely. Sorry, I lost her. Yeah, so I just thought it was really, really appropriate and exactly how you grow as a person as well. Yeah, definitely.

Starting point is 00:39:57 That's how you grow, feel the fear, just do it. Yes, exactly, you just got to do it. Okay. So this one is from Rema who's 38. She's got two kids and she's got a full-time job in HR. And also she says she's got a wardrobe that hadn't changed since 2014. Oh, she had a wardrobe.

Starting point is 00:40:14 Rema says, I felt invisible. And one Sunday after yet another exhausting week, I looked in the mirror and said, I don't even recognize myself. So I made a decision not to change everything, but to start small. I booked a trim, bought three colourful tops, started walking during lunch and made time to read again. Three months later a colleague asked me if I've been on holiday because I was glowing. My confidence, posture and energy

Starting point is 00:40:38 changed and I realised that my glow ups started when I started to treat myself like I mattered even in the small moments. So and again this is going off what we were saying earlier, glow ups don't have to be dramatic, they're small things that make a major impact over the long term, it can be a long drawn out process and most of the time it is. We notice the glow up when it's actually happened and then you're like oh my god I look amazing like my glow up didn't happen like that, it took months before I felt oh my gosh I'm slim and I'm blonde and I actually look really nice but I didn't happen like that it took months before I felt oh my gosh I'm slim and I'm blonde and I actually look really nice but I didn't realize that

Starting point is 00:41:09 because it took time and then I got complete different reactions from people when I came home because I was away for about six weeks and I was just like I'm kind of pretty. And I do think that there's changes in life they resonate within you and then come out and they're shown on the outside and yeah, it's really interesting when you do make changes like that and how they help. Okay, one more story then. The Unexpected Glow Up.

Starting point is 00:41:34 So this is from Sophie, 29. I had a full blown quarter life crisis when I was let go from my marketing job. I finished reality TV, cried for a week then somewhat accidentally started an Instagram page reviewing skin care products I had already had in my cupboard. Within six months I had 12,000 followers and was being sent PR packages. My passion became a freelance business managing skin care brands and social media. I didn't set out for a glow up but sometimes life wipes your slate clean so you can paint a better picture. Sometimes your glow up comes in the messiest packaging but it still shows up. And yeah I thought that was a lovely one as well. It's really really nice writing so thank you

Starting point is 00:42:14 again guys for those viewers who did write in. We really really we really enjoyed doing this episode and I think it's nice to kind of share like we said not just the outer glow up options but the inner ones too. Yep and if you haven't noticed we've not had a wine today and that's because this week we are having a wine tasting with the wine fan he is a very I'd say knowledgeable wine connoisseur and he has been nice enough to collaborate with us on Thursday evening we will be doing a very fun wine tasting we will be obviously recording the the session we will be doing a very fun wine tasting. We will be obviously recording the the session. We will be able to share with you some of the great wines that we've tried and so we won't just be able to share with you one wine to try

Starting point is 00:42:52 this week, we'll be able to share at least five. So keep an eye out for that, we'll be sharing it on social media and also yes make sure you give him a follow as well and you'll see us collaborating with more people throughout this year. Yep, lovely. So as a final thought then, just remember a glow isn't about becoming someone else, it's about uncovering who you really are and letting that person shine. So whether you're mid-glow, post-glow or just getting started, just take your time. And if you love this episode, then please like, follow, share, comment and followers on YouTube, Spotify, Amazon, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. You can also copy and paste this link into your group

Starting point is 00:43:31 chat and send it to everybody. Send it to your friends. Okay, so if you've loved this episode, obviously do all of those things and if no one's told you today, you are glowing. Thanks a lot guys, see you next time. See you next time, bye!

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Drinking Wine and Talking Shit - S2E4: Glow up: inside and out

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