Erica Rhodes - Are You Cool?
00:00 Hey guys, we gave a fantastic episode of Don People's Time with the great Erica Rhodes. Just with us. And amazing stories. Oh, my God. We've got a family that finds a very weird thing in their hotel room. And then they're weird about it. We've got a woman who pleasures herself on a plane. Allegedly.
00:15 Allegedly. And finally, we have a guy who doesn't understand Facebook marketplace. All of that. And so much more on one of our favorite episodes with the great Erica Rhodes. Dan and ran and Jay will share tales of folk so unaware. They lack in race. Sometimes choose the life they choose We'll make the news
00:36 Breaking down each epic bail In Florida There's half price bail I'm happy to say they Couldn't make this So listen to our podcast band With co-host Arm and Dan Bender, don't be a jerk
00:51 Because when the music Which the funny hits and wicks stick around Make a sound, come you're down It's Dumb People Town Hey Tadies welcome another episode of Dumb People Town Population. Population roads.
01:07 Erica Rhodes. All roads lead to dumb people. All roads lead to dumb people town, including Erica. Welcome to town, Erica. Thanks. Thanks for the puns. Isn't it fun to hang out? Just all of us?
01:15 So fun. You guys are the best. We've got dumb stories. Thank you. And we're just getting dumber. We're going to promote all your great tours and shows that are coming up. But the world's getting dumber and we have to fight back, Erica. That's true.
01:27 I feel like I'm getting dumber too. Are you? Yeah, I do. I'm getting slower. You're like the horse, our text. in the never-ending story. We were, like, succumbing to the swamp of dumbness. Oh, my God, I love the never-ending story.
01:40 Remember, he's like, don't give in, don't give in to the sadness art text. That's us with the dumb society. We're like, wait, am I now getting dumb? Dan, have you seen, like, there's a picture circulating on the internet with the three leads from the never-ending story today? No. And it will depress that. Yeah, I'm not looking at that.
01:57 That's why you put it on film, so they never have to age. Two of them look like magicians. So sad. One of them looks like a word. And one of them is, and it's not. the other two. I know. Was there a baby in that? No, I'm thinking of the labyrinth. Yeah, you're thinking of the labyrinth. The labyrinth had a baby.
02:11 A wrinkled... You remind me of the babe. What babe? The babe with the power. What power? The power of voodoo. The never any story and a wrinkle in time to mirror the same movie. Sure. That's a whole like... It's in that same genre. The never ending story was a little too long for me. It's still going. Okay. I loved it. Oh, ha-ha. Shall I... Shall I jump into a story?
02:30 Yes. She got one. She didn't want to laugh at that. She succumbed. From our good buddy, colleague. Andrews who we met in Rochester at late night nachos. I love him. Thank you for sending this into us. At Skullar Brothers at Dan Van at Dan Van Kirk. Daniel.
02:43 Daniel, Danny Van Kirk on X and then just on threads. On threads, also Dan is hashtag dumb people town. You can send them on threads too. Okay, you ready? Here we go. Here's the headline. Florida Dad says family trip, quote, ruined after three-year-old daughter finds sex toy in Kissimmee resort room. Ruined? Wait, what's ruined?
03:02 So their trip was ruined. Oh, that trip was ruined. Their three-year-old found a sex toy in their hotel. The whole trip. Honestly God, as you two are parents. Yeah. Kid finds a sex toy. How much real time does that derail your...
03:15 Three-year-old? You should be able to lie about it. Yeah, it's a toy. Who left is? Who left is? Thank you. Toy. It's a toy.
03:21 Them finding it walking out of the bathroom into the hotel, like the bedroom hotel area. I imagine it's in one room. I mean, if she... Maybe ruins the last 10 minutes of whatever you were watching. She found it. Because you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa. and then you...
03:33 It's hotel, so you can't go. go back, you missed it. That's how much it should run. It depends what the kid did with it. Did she sit on it? Did she put it in her mouth? Yeah. Sorry, was that?
03:44 No, that'll ruin it. You're right. That was inappropriate. You have got an edge here. Because now. It was so inappropriate. Kids love to put things in their mouth though. They do.
03:53 They're in an oral phase. They're in an oral phase. Yes. Yes, it's missing some information. But now you're right. So I would then go, that might ruin the night. Yes. The vacation?
04:02 All right. All right. Well, you are in Kissimmey. Because we got to go get some like serious mouthwash. Kiss me. We don't know what the sex toy is yet. Right. So a Florida father said his family vacation to Central Florida theme parks was derailed after
04:16 his three-year-old daughter found a sex toy in the resort room. Is that how you say you can't afford Disney? We went to Central. What did you guys do have a vacation? We went to Central Florida theme parks. Where? Central Florida once. You know.
04:26 Not the good one. Bush Gardens. You'd say like Disney or Disney and Universal. So I've heard of putting a pubic hair in your salad and being like, like, I don't want to pay for this. I get that. This guy put the people care and the toy in his thing. How do we know it's not his?
04:41 Let's not throw the vacation out with the sex toy. Thank you. Maybe this is just their way to get out of going to Disneyland. Right. Right. Oh, it's ruined. Yeah. Oh, no.
04:51 Darn. We had tickets and everything. But if you tell me this happened on property, like one of the Disney, I'd be like, this is definitely a pop century situation. Maybe a Floridian. There's no way this happened in an animal king. You know which one it was. It's a pop century.
05:08 There are Disney heads out there that are going to go, Mm-hmm. Pop century all the way. I've left six sex toys. They don't allow this at Animal Kingdoms Resort. I would love it if they had to call like a Disney representative and it is Mickey Mouse and he has to be. Hi.
05:23 Hi. How can I help you? What stands to be having up here? What do you need today, Frank? Is that a little mouse? What's she putting in her mom? That's a problem. Oh, that sounds like I would get in my crot, too.
05:38 How do you guys have perfect impressions of looking mouth? This was the first impression I ever did. Really? When I was a kid, I was a kid. Don't put it in your mouth, little girl. When I was a kid, I would prank call people. I remember my first prank ever. I would get out of it.
05:52 I would call until I got an answering machine. And then I would say, hi, family, you've won a big prize. Everybody gather around the answering machine. And then when I would go long enough that I felt like everybody had gotten, I would go, I would go, you can all go, F yourself I thought I was so cool Let me get my manager
06:09 I want to do all the like logistical stuff that someone has to go Let me talk to corporate Can you fill out this paperwork? I'm trying to do it too But it's really just my voice That's my That is the clip
06:26 How many speeds does it happen? You do a hell of a Ripped for her pleasure. All right. So found a sex story in the resort room at Holiday Inn Club Vacations. That explains it. Orange Lake. In Kissing me.
06:44 On the second night of their stay in August, Mike Gross. Well, if your last name is gross, get ready. Told News 6, and he was happy to just spread it out there. His daughter walked up behind him in a hotel room with what she called a quote, present. My daughter, three years old, comes up behind me and says, It is a present. Let's talk about what it really is. Why is it not a present?
07:09 It's a gift. Also, I love when kids are in that cat phase of like, look what I brought you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're so proud of those. They picked something up. They carried it. He said, I'm expecting to turn around and find something cute. She's going to hand me and found around the hotel room or whatever.
07:24 She hands me a used vibrator. Well, not proven. How do you know? Yeah, it could have been. Now, there could be evidence. Right. But all in all. I don't know what you guys is where we all travel so much.
07:36 You see a stray hair. You're like, yes, other people have stayed here. Sure. Like, the level to which I have to go, I need a new room is like once something is like bed. I have a vibrator story. One time I was staying, I don't remember. I think it was Kentucky. That makes sense.
07:51 It was Kentucky. And they gave me the room key. I went in and I opened the door and there was a woman standing there putting out all these vibrators. Like she was preparing. Like a presentation. She was preparing for a gift bag. It could have been like 50 shades of gray room. Yes.
08:07 All different colors, sizes. Like Pulpiction, the spider is called a flying. Yeah. And I was like, I think I'm in the wrong room. She goes, sweetheart, you're in the right room. Come on in. Sweetheart, you've never been in a more room. That didn't ruin my vacation.
08:22 No. So you have me, she's fully close. She was just setting everything up. She was in a skimpy outfit. It was definitely like, you know. Could have been like a sex Tupperware party. Yeah. Look at all my.
08:32 You just said, you come in and you buy one. That people were buying it, maybe. Or I hope like her and her husband of 15 years are like, this is their night. Once a year, they go nuts or every weekend. So you just turn around and was like, need a room. And I'm just asking you this. If she is laying them out very methodically and meticulously, can we call her anal? She's a little anal.
08:53 Wow. Gross said he reported to the resort immediately. I'm moving by. But he says he didn't hear anything back that night or the following morning. From the hotel? Right. So he reported to the, that's a front desk manager. Guys, we've got lots of stuff here.
09:08 All right. As the family... Look, I can't fly a plane, but my child did find a sex toy at a holiday. Didn't hear anything the following morning as the family was heading to Disney. He said the impact on the trip was immediate. We're heading to Disney. And I'm not... I'm not in the spirit of play.
09:22 Well, you should have used the vibrator. Yeah. Gross said. I'm not there with my family. I am stuck in the situation and confused of how could such a large resort care so little about the situation. All right. You're trying to get free stuff.
09:36 He's trying to get free stuff. Also, guys. Oh, but why did you go to the press about this? Yeah, exactly. Channel 6. But also you two, family vacations. Yeah. You've known, there are times,
09:46 we've all seen the original National Lampoon's vacation. Yeah, sure. There are times you have to rally past a step past it. Yes. If you are Randy and you total an RV in the middle of nowhere,
09:58 which I did. You've got to move past it. On my 20th anniversary. You got to. rally past. And the drunk worker from, it's like offering to bring my kids into his house and serve them food. And it's my 20th anniversary and we're stuck in a parking lot because I made too sharp of a right turn. And you know what? Like most things. Did anyone get hurt? No. Just put a huge hole in the wallet. And you kept going, right? No, it stopped. I stopped because I'm like everything's going
10:23 like everything's going to fall out including my kids. But like most things that are, can be bad like this, we turned it around. You may end up giving us a toast at one of your daughter's wedding. I'm just talking about marriage and family. Like everything can be turning. You made a core memory. You got to rally passing things on a family trip. The whole trip was ruined at that point. He added, Furious, he said he ultimately returned the item to the lobby himself after using it.
10:44 No, returning himself nearly 24 hours later. At this time, he said he completed a security report. Weeks later, Gross said the company offered him how much money based on trauma? Yeah, you're going to guess. What do you think they all? I'm guessing. $200. Okay, yeah.
11:00 What do you think? That's a good guess. What would make you happy if you're this guy? Think about if you're this guy and you complain about... All I would say is if they were like, we're going to comp your whole side of you. Wow. Like if they were like, you're here four nights, we're going to take off two of the nights. Two of the nights, I'd be happy.
11:16 Two of the nights, I'd be here. What do you think? Okay. So let me just do a value on that, just assuming. Yeah. I'm going to go $350. Credit. Credit.
11:24 I think it's low. Not reimbursement. I think it's so low because he went to the news. He's mad. So I'm going to say $100. They offer him like $100. $100 and like a free breakfast. So this is interesting.
11:35 Free breakfast. Exactly. What they offer him then tells you how you're supposed now, how we all think about him. Okay. Get your answers in townies. They offered him $1,300 and a free future stay. Don't go to the press. Because you're-
11:51 They took care of this. That's incredible. That's way better than I thought. Good customer service. And a new vibrator they gave for his life, which I think was super nice. This is like Batman. Yeah. He was, he was, he was, he could have been the hero.
12:04 Yeah. And he pushed so long for so far. Now he's the villain. He's the joke. But who is his father that's like, I've got to get this in the news? Right. He said the money was not worth what holiday and club vacations wanted from him in return. Oh, okay.
12:16 Oh, well, they try to buy his silence. Oh. Father of two young children said the multi-page settlement agreement came with a condition that he did not expect. Make a video with the vibrator and send it to us. Just sit on it for a few seconds. language that would have barred him from speaking about the situation. Yeah, of course. I figured it would be a boilerplate release, Gross said.
12:37 I love that he's now... Who are you? A lawyer? You know he's complaining about enough stuff to know what a boilerplate. No, no, he just was like AI. What's a agreement called? Boiler plate release. Yeah.
12:48 Thanks, Claude. But when the release came, it was just so broad and overreaching one page of the settlement agreement stipulates that, quote, guests agree... Guest agrees that they will not contact or otherwise communicate. with any federal, state, local, municipal, or any governmental, quasi-governmental agency or private consumer protection company,
13:07 i.e. the better business. Right. That's what they're paid. Yeah. In the words of our friend John Hammond. You're getting paid off. That's what the money's for. Correct. Yeah, yeah.
13:15 Correct. Right? Another provision of the release deals with the non-disparagement. It lists Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram, TikTok, Twitter, and television. And suggest the guests should not disparage to fame, impugn, damage or assail the reputation or cause or tend to cause recidative communication question. If you want to tell everybody at the Olive Garden Bar about this, go for it.
13:36 Right, but just don't, you can't go. Don't go online, don't go to the government, don't go to the press. It's not that hard. The final section states that the agreement does not constitute an admission of guilt or liability on behalf of the company. Mistakes happen, we get that grossed, but just the lack of care, speed, and attention, it's unacceptable. You know who should be really happy here?
13:54 It's not their fault. It's Holidayan. Right. because they came out looking the best here. They're like, look at what we do when something goes wrong to try and make it right. And this guy is telling everybody the lengths we go to to go, sorry about that. Human element, you can't be perfect all the time. He's indicting himself.
14:10 He's imputing himself. I would make a commercial. I'd make a commercial. I'd like holiday and more now. Thank you. This is what I do. I make a commercial. I'd say some hotels have Bibles in their drawers.
14:20 Right. We have vibrators. Both take you to heaven. Wow. Love it. Stay at our hotel. She's in. She's it.
14:27 Right? Yeah. Yes. He said he reported the incident. I just imagined the woman like dusting off all of the vibrators like on the bed just perfectly placed. I imagine she was using the like where you're, it's like a bench and where your suitcase can go. There too. It's what I picture.
14:41 It was like a shelf. It was like a shelf by the door, like right by the door. So it's like the first thing you see when you walk in. Drop everything and started on stage that night or the next. I didn't. I didn't know how to say it. I mean, it's, it is kind of amazing. Like if I were doing, if it was like a Wes Anderson movie or like, you know, like the Napoleon Dynamite, they would place all of them.
15:04 They'd be above camera shot. Yes. Straight down they're placing all of them. And the last second, she just adjusts one. Yes. That's what it looks like. It's exactly what she was doing. And that would all be intercut with like over your shoulder walking down the hallway.
15:18 Yeah. The suspense. Gross did not sign the agreement. He said he reported the incident to state investigators, including the Florida Department. Agriculture and Consumer Services? Why you've got to rope? They're wrestling alligators. Why are we bringing them into this thing?
15:32 Better Business Bureau instead. And a written response to the Florida Department of Agriculture and Consumer Services, he said, and this is quote, the Vacations Club said, the company regrets that Mr. Gross remains dissatisfied with both the underlying incident and his experience following the report. The cleanliness of guest accommodations and the appropriate handling of guidance is so corporates. I want to find this guy in social media.
15:55 Gross told me, DM him and go, hey, do you still have my toy? I think gross is a pretty popular name. I mean, a pretty common. Yeah, we won't be able to find him. Gross told News 6th, the issue was not about payout, but about the accountability and preventing another family from going through the same. They took accountability. They did.
16:11 I hope they make the same real changes. And I honestly hope no other child or family has to experience this level of negligence and neglect. This guy's crazy. She definitely put it in her mouth. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
16:25 For sure. Not to go back to that, but... This is why he's going this far. If she just held it, it's like whatever. Whatever. Something happened with that five years that we're not hearing about. In a statement to New Six, a representative on behalf of a holiday and vacation
16:39 said we take matters involving guest experience very seriously. We've been in contact with Mr. Gross on an ongoing basis regarding his concerns. We have addressed the matter in an appropriate resort terms due to being a specific guest situation, the company said they would provide further details about private discussions. Now, I mean, this just was like... like a small thing. Very small vibrating thing that then just got out of control. It had revibrations all throughout the universe.
17:03 I don't know. Can you get AIDS from a vibrator? I don't think so. I mean, no, you're up next year. All right. I would not think. I would not think so. All right, there you go.
17:12 Story one, down in the books. I don't know. We don't know these things. Erica Rhodes is with us. We're going to tell you where, what she has going on. You can follow us and we'll tell you all about that after the break. Stay with us.
17:22 You know those pieces in your closet that you, you find yourself wearing on repeat. We all have those. You've seen us wear them on this show. On this show. So the sweater that goes with everything, the perfect pair of pants, that tea you sometimes,
17:35 you know, just like that looks so good. Those are the pieces that make getting dressed easy. It's what you reach for in your closet. And that's what our buddies at Quince do best. I can't even begin to tell you there's a pair of linen quince shorts that I have worn every day that it is warm.
17:51 I always take it's like the most comfortable shorts I wear around the house. I'm out. I just love them so much. I'm also a shacket, a shacket, man. You are. And they have these, you are. They have this great, like, rust color jacket that I just ordered for myself.
18:03 I cannot wait to wear on stage. So here's what I love about Quince. It's not just clothing anymore, which I'm so glad they expanded in this area. Quince brings that same approach for everything they make from hotel quality bedding and bath to kitchen essential, thoughtfully designed furniture.
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18:42 And when Quince asks where you heard about them, please let them know it was Dumb People Town. It's the best way to support this show. Stick around. Make a sound. Dunker Down is Dumb People Town. Hey, daddies, welcome back. I hope everybody's doing well. Before we get into what Erica has going on, Jay, we should let everybody here know what we have on the horizon.
19:03 So let's focus ahead because I don't know exactly when this is going to land, but we'll look at November and we're going to be at the Flyover Fest in St. Louis, Missouri, our hometown. We're doing a huge show at this Coka Theater, which is a beautiful theater. It's like 450 seats. Yeah, gorgeous theater. Starts on the 12th, right? Yeah, Friday the 13th is when our show is. Friday the 13th. Are you guys getting in on the 12th?
19:25 We'll probably get it on the 12th. We're going to do this like bowling thing for Netflix on Saturday day. We're doing some taggits in that. But this headlining show at this beautiful theater in St. Louis. Can't wait. Rayne Williams is going to feature for us. It's going to be really fun. One of the most naturally funny person is.
19:39 I know Rayfe. He's so great. St. Louis. Raph Williams. Very funny. St. Louis. Effortlessly funny. It's wonderful dude.
19:46 So we're going to be there doing that then. And then we're going to be in, I think we're going to be in Phoenix. doing some shows in the middle of January, and then we're back in Detroit doing some shows at the end of February in the beginning of March, and we're working on the rest of our spring dates, hopefully in Minneapolis, hopefully in Denver. We'll let you know,
20:06 superscalators.com for all that. And then when our special gets edited, we'll let you know where that's going to land. Fingers crossed, we have high hopes for it. We really thank everyone who came out for that. I'll let you know when we have any of that stuff going on. Erica, I know you're on the road. You're always doing some really fun shows and dates.
20:22 So Erica Rhodes.com. Yeah, Erica Rhodescom. There you go. Yeah, I just, I don't have my schedule memorize it. You don't have to. But you have a bunch of dates. Yeah. And follow me on Instagram.
20:35 Yeah, I'm doing some shows in Florida with Garrison Keeler. Amazing. And then I'm doing some shows after that, I think in the Midwest and then like Kansas City. Great. Super. Yeah, all over the place. Great. Go see her.
20:49 Check out my website. She's so funny. Did you do? or did I see you were doing the Comet in Cincinnati? Did I make that up? The Commonwealth. I did that already. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
20:58 Was that fun? Really fun. I love them. Lori Kilmartin was promoting it and it was like, I can't wait to do this show. Cincinnati. Yeah, it's an interesting, it's like a renovated church. Someone's going to shoot an amazing special.
21:10 It's very cool. Yeah, and the crowds are great. Yeah, really fun. Oh my God, I love that. All right, well, I love them. Erica Rhodescomedy.com. Go see her and follow her on Instagram. She's a great follow.
21:21 All the clips you post are so good. I love them. That's what I was really about realizing about your stand-up is that it is so good in the clip form. Oh, thanks. It's really like one or two just bangor jokes within like a small clip. But you know what? I'm going to say about it that is really cool.
21:39 And it's teaching me about what is how, what draws me in to like watch. Yeah. I don't necessarily think you need a killer joke at the beginning. I think you need either a great joke right off the time. or a really interesting premise that stays. Where I'm like, how is she going to pay this off? You have a lot of really good, like, you keep in your clips and in your comedy, it's like you start with a thought that like I'm like,
22:02 I'm like, all right, I want to see the end of this. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, it's very good. Oh, that means a lot. Thanks, you guys. Because usually people are going, boop, boop, bo, bo. No, not true. For me too.
22:13 All right, here we go. Story two. Story number two. This is also sent in by Kyle Andrews at Late Night Naches. This also has sexuality in muted. did it. Intoxicated woman allegedly masturbates on American Airlines flight.
22:26 Well, you pick the right airline. Yeah, it's right. I mean, very good. I always feel like that's the one that's, yeah. Spirit Air, she would have literally had full on sex. Are they gone?
22:37 Yeah, so they're done. It's done. Because I thought I saw TikTok of people buying Spirit Airlines like merch? No, they're like their carts and all this stuff. Maybe it's a joke? No, no, no.
22:47 I think they sold it all off. Oh, yeah. Like you could buy their like. They strip. Spirit air for parts? Yeah. Like this woman on a plane, I imagine. Maybe it's worse a lot because it's done.
22:58 Did she find the vibrator in like a holiday and express? Can I ask you a question if we have shared mind? Good point. Thank you. If we have shared mind. Jason says, woman allegedly masturbates on plane. Allegedly. None of us are thinking aisle seat, right?
23:11 Middle. Interesting. I didn't actually think of a seat. Window. It's window. I think window. It has to be window. I feel like in the.
23:21 window when you're in the window seat you feel like you're in a world in and of yourself like no one's even paying attention sometimes too much like I like I don't like be like sometimes I get like a little claustrophobic if I'm not in an exit row window or front like of the plane window because I'm like I'm like tucked in here did you pick an airline and like this is the only airline I will fly and then you're now I try to do Delta yeah I've had the most like issues with American and United with like I tried American for each and I was like never American has issues. And they don't even have TVs anymore. They don't.
23:53 They keep cramping everything up. You know what's also crazy, though, is with the ones with TVs, is that if we're going to get really bent out of shape because this woman's masturbating, like, I can't tell you how many flights I've been on that I look across the aisle one row up and there's like, you know, from the movies that they're offering, like, full on sex. Too naked people having sex. I'm like, if a kid walks about, what are we worried about here? What are we worried about?
24:19 I used to say modified and edited for content. So like some movies on planes, you would lose scenes. I don't know if they even do that. They don't. They don't censor anything. So you're going to watch two people. Like a kid walking down the aisle is going to watch it. Let her masturbate.
24:32 Let her cook. Let her cook. But was she using a device or was she just doing it on her own? Let's get into it. Okay. I don't know. I think she's shifting a lot. It's more of a stir.
24:43 Allegedly is also very vague. We don't know if she was or not. Great hoody in a blow for something. You can't get canceled for alleged masturbation. And is it worse of a crime if you bring yourself to climax versus if you're... Well, I don't know. They don't give blankets anymore. But if it was a lot of like, what are you doing under there?
25:00 Yeah. Maybe she had a coat. Yeah, who noticed first? They're her seatmate or a flight attendant. And also more importantly. I'm sorry, she's having way too much fun here. I've had to do that a lot. You have?
25:12 Well, I did have. I see people like having like sexual stuff like on a plane. But I've also done numerous times where I had to like let a flight attendant and they're like, We got a live one over here. So you know. Just saying it is not going to stay this way. It's like the plane, the guy who knows. Yeah, I had like an unofficial air marshal.
25:29 I was a federal agent. I think I have some sort of right. Of course. I would want you to overlook the plane. I would want you to overlook the plane. Yeah, yeah, I'd feel safe. Thank you. I'll have a ginger ale and she's going to have an orgasm in 30 seconds.
25:44 Allegedly. Allegedly. I take a look at that. It looks like she's having an alleged climax right now. Cups of ice for a lot of my sexes when it comes to orgasms allegedly. Yeah, every orgasm for a woman is allegedly until she got you. Until she lets you know that it's real. That would be funny if like another woman on the plane was like,
26:04 she's performing a little bit. Yeah, and was there consent? Every guy's like, I think she had an orgasm. Then we're like, nah, I've heard it before. Some guys like, I know what it's really alleged comes in. Some guy jumps in, guys like, I know what it's really sad. Sounds like. Do you?
26:21 Do you? I had an old joke that was like I, I found myself faking an orgasm with my vibrator. And I was like, who am I trying to impress? You're so funny. Who am I trying to fool? Yeah. That's so funny. I was just trying to get out there.
26:38 It was starting to take too long. I just want to leave. It's not you. I am going to leave you in this hotel room, but it's not you. You stay under the pillow and all. I mean, we've all. Honestly, if we're going to go back to that story, how many people have left a charger in an hotel room, right?
26:55 What is a vibrator but just an emotional charger? That's true. It's just a device. That you plug in. That keeps you going. I have to imagine it was in the shower. Because if it wasn't out where they saw it, it had to have been put somewhere.
27:08 I think they should have shown a picture of what it looked like. I'm going to find this guy and ask. Do you know how many different size vibrators are? Some look like an egg. A little travel. Yes, it could have been this big. The egg. Yeah.
27:19 You know that. I know. I know. You're talking flared in? Why do I know? You know a drunk. I hear, let's get in this. I'm happy to know. I'm happy to know. Kid definitely put it in her mouth. Yes. Right? I mean, that's the only reason all this got. That's right. Yes. A drunk imagine the parental. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. We don't do that. We don't do that. We don't do that. We don't do that. We don't do that. All right. Sorry. A drunken woman allegedly rubbed passengers the wrong way. Oh. Why do you got to be? The post? Probably.
27:51 Wait, did they really put that in the article? That's because it's the post. Guaranteed the New York Post. I saw someone sent the same. That's like an onion. No, this is the New York Post. When she took off her pants and began masturbating on a flight from Baltimore to Miami last month. It's Baltimore to Miami.
28:07 That's not that long of a flight. Let's just be happy she's not selling cocaine. I mean, it's Baltimore to Miami. I don't think, yeah, I think everyone's masturbating on that flight. That's an hour and a half tops, right? No one wants to go from Baltimore to Miami. I think everyone wants to go in Miami to Baltimore. Good point.
28:23 No one wants to go to Baltimore though. No, but they're probably celebrating in some way that they're getting to Miami. Yeah, that they're leaving Baltimore. Just explode with happiness. Katie Inzer and she was Inzer. Inzer and Zouncer. Yeah. Committed the LUDAC short.
28:36 I'm not going to tell how old she is. We'll guess at the end. 37. Created the committed the LUDAC shortly after takeoff on an American Airlines, not even when the Wi-Fi hadn't even kicked in and she's doing this. On an American Airlines flight, On September 11th, which, what better way to honor. Never forget.
28:54 On American Airlines flight from the East Coast. Never forget. There's some sort of going down. There's, yeah. Stop. She hijacked the entire situation. She had her twin towers up in the air. I mean, and because she was from Baltimore, she like went straight for her paniguan.
29:12 I got it. Oh, God. You guys are really good at this. Her much like 9-11. This was an inside job. It was. It was an inside. Okay.
29:19 That's a good. A lot of loose chain rattling around. According to an incident report filed by the Miami-Dade Sheriff's Office, a fellow passenger had complained to a flight attendant that NARC. Inzer had removed her pants and began to actively masturbate while making inappropriate sounds. Yeah. What sounds? If she would have kept it to herself.
29:42 Well, they were appropriate for masturbating. Yeah. Just inappropriate for the plane. Can I, you guys call me out for being sexist here. but in my interpretation of things, when a woman... Sexist. Hey, lamp, in the one who can do it. When a woman is masturbating, I'm like, that, why, she's, it's about her.
30:02 And if a guy was masturbating, I'd be like, why are you trying to subject everybody else to this? Well, because one is out of your body. One feels more forward. But one is I'm like, hey, she's trying to do a thing over here and we are noticing. And a guy doing it, I'm like, why are you trying to make everybody notice this? Yes, yeah. Like, I just feel, like, I feel like she was more like, hey, what do we got going on? And whereas the guy, you're like, stop it, stop it.
30:25 It's more about the performance. Once you take your pants off, that to me is like crossing the line. Why did she have to take her pants out? That seems more inappropriate. I mean, how much. Are you really trying to bear back that seat? Do we have a photo of this woman? We don't.
30:41 We have a whole video. Let's go to it. Let's get the actual. I mean, if she was hot, maybe it would be okay for everybody. They would let that slide a little bit like, how long do they let it go? She must not have been that hot because I think everyone would have been okay. They put an end to it quickly if she's not as attractive. That's what I think.
30:59 She's attractive. They're like, well, let's wait until we get over Jacksonville and we'll do something. Because there are women too, but there are men out there that if they were the only person in that aisle next to her, would have looked around at other people and said, do not say a fucking word about. Let her. Let her go. Exactly. Let her go. Shut up.
31:17 Yeah, let her dance. It must not have been very attractive. She is experiencing. Let her dance. Let her dance like nobody's watching. Let her dance. She's experiencing a little turbulence in her life, so let her do this. Let her write the shit.
31:35 Maybe she has PTSD from 9-11, and this is how she expresses it, you know? Otherwise, we let the terrorists win. That's right. We can't let them win, just let her. This is her active rebellion. Freedom. Thank you. Everything we're saying is alleged.
31:52 This happened on September 11th. I mean, that's crazy. I mean, that might be the part that made it a dumb people down story. All right. We'll get out of here on this one, man. How old is Katie Inzer? Pants off, masturbating on a plane, 9-11.
32:06 I swear, just because I admitted that I saw us come in, I do not know her age. Okay. So I threw 37 out there. Okay. I'm sticking with it. All right. Erica, what do you think?
32:14 I'm going to go older. I'm going to go 42. That's a great. Good guess. I'm gonna go 49. 49. So none of us think drunk 24 year old. Which, by the way, also on the table.
32:25 Could be, but I just don't see it. No. They want to stop that. No, exactly. Get your answers in. When we come back down, we'll do the last. Erica's thinking about all the people around it. She's making an educated guess based on like, what did people do?
32:38 She's an empath. It's like, you know, like when something goes wrong, like the guy's stabbing people in the cockpit, like everyone charges it. In this situation, people are like, Holding people back. There's a lot of this. Someone charged it. Hey, mind your own business.
32:53 Hey, don't you have some coffee to give over there? That's right. Anyway, Katie Inzer, you guys are on the right track. Yeah. Is 46 years. Oh. Wow. It's me.
33:06 Pretty close. Pretty close. All right. Story number two down in the books. Daniel, we'll find out what you have going on after the break. What's the little teas? We're going three for three on things in Florida. Okay.
33:15 The great Erica Rhodes. If you get familiar with her, follow her on Instagram. Erica Rhodescom to find her dates. But we'll be right back with more Dump People Town. Stick around. Make us down. Come you down. It's Dump People Town.
33:29 Hey, gang, welcome back to the show. Before we get into the third story, Daniel, tell us where people can find you. Everything's at Daniel Van Kirk. If you want to hear more of just me talking, hanging out, I do a podcast called The Midnight Air. It's just a personal passion project. It's an overnight radio podcast for people who want to go to sleep or stay awake. just to hang. Everything's light, easy and fun, unless I'm bitching about AI as I've been wanted to do lately. But more generative than anything. But check out Midnight Air and then
33:56 popcorn pals. The next evolution of Penn Pals, Rory and Mine's podcast forever, Rory moved off to Denver. And we still love each other very much. But I was like, what'd be the next version of this? So it's instead of letters, it's movies. It's me and a rotating guest of other great comedians and people talking about either a movie they love or a movie that just came out. When we're recording this, the Digger episode had just... Very controversial. I know. My take is...
34:19 Don't give your take it. Is that the Tom Cruise one? Yes. I would say this is one of the best movies I've ever watched, but results may vary. Wow. I love it. Wow. Absolutely.
34:31 You and Tom Sharpling. Sharpling was like, I hated the first third, and then I was like, oh, shit. I thought it was ahead of this movie. I'm behind it. Even if somebody was like, I hate it, I go, but Tom Cruise, they'll go, lights out, insane. He just won an Oscar. Wow. I had Matt Damon on my number one spot so far this year, and now it's Tom Cruise by a mile.
34:46 What movie did Matt Damon do the show? Oh, the Odacy. Yeah. Okay, so check out all this stuff. Oh, I haven't seen that. Odyssey. It's good. You should see it at the IMAX.
34:56 If you can. It's the prequel to Goodwill Hunting. He's a janitor in ancient Rome. All right. You think getting home is hard for me? You think getting home is hard for me? This is easy for me. Odisius.
35:08 It's not your fault. It's not your fault. It's not Odysseus. I know. I just said it's Odysse. Okay, so and then Daniel vancirk. com for all of my dates. I will also be doing multiple.
35:16 shows nearly every single night of flyover comedy festival. I will be in Chinook wins about two hours outside of Portland in December. I'll be in Phoenix at Mike Drop Comedy in December and then Detroit and Pittsburgh and January. Everything's at Daniel vancirk.com. I would love to hang out with you. All right, here we go. Send it by Matthew Friedman, not your average mat at not your average mat. That's an AVG and a double T. This speaks something I've been way into lately. Florida man accused of selling peyote and mushrooms on Facebook Marketplace. Hey, man.
35:48 I love, I have a Facebook Marketplace chunk that I'm doing right now. I have no problem with that. None. Go where the customers are. Pretty dumb. Pretty dumb, but. Well, is it illegal? Yeah.
35:59 100% legal. I mean, if you... I just made a Facebook Marketplace purchase on Sunday. What did you buy, Dan? I got. I've been way into, like, cards. Mushrooms and... Yeah.
36:10 Like sports cards and stuff like that. And then also, I love, like, early 90s Marvel character. card, the comic book cards. They put these out in the 90s and when I was a kid, I'd go to Stone's Hallmark and buy a pack and I loved them. Wow. And so there was a guy doing like a 1994 Spider-Man card graded a 9 out of 10, like a PSA graded 9-10. And
36:30 I met up with him in the Valley and picked it up and I love it. It's worth a lot more than that, but I don't care. I just did a little piece. I'm buying my nostalgia. Got the cards, game a hand job, you're out of that. Yes. Yes. You don't have to look him in the eye. Allegedly. Allegedly. You don't have to look him in the eye. That's all me. So I love Facebook.
36:46 I bought a couch from a famous singer girl. Yeah. On Facebook. God, I wish I remembered her name. Ashley Simpson. She tours a lot with that with Billy Elish's brother. Oh. Finius.
37:00 And he sings with her a lot. This girl, she just came out with a song about canceled the wedding or something. Something the wedding. And you, I think her name is Ash. A-S-H-E, maybe. And I went to her house and she was selling everything. All via Facebook Marketplace. Yeah, and I bought her couch.
37:21 I bought her coffee table and I bought a chair from her. Amazing. It's like a civilized garage sale. Yeah, it was very, and she was like very glamorous. So I felt like, oh, I'm getting like from a classy. A glamorous couch. You know? It's great.
37:34 But you go on Facebook Marketplace and you set your radius. I talk about this on stage. I'm like, don't set it for 10 miles. Set your radius for about two blocks. Yes, that's all I. Yeah. these neighbors are going through in their life. Don't search lamp.
37:47 Search, search breakup. Don't search couch. Search laid off. Like, yes. See what people are going through. Search mental breakdown. You know what? Search the word ungrateful.
37:58 Somebody's selling somebody else's stuff. I got interested in her journey after I bought her couch because now I'm invested and I'm like, I have her couch. I should know about her life. And then I found out she was going through a breakup. She moved to Nashville. then she had to start over. Then she found another man.
38:16 Then she went back. She took a break from singing for a while. Then she came back. She flew from Baltimore to Miami. She's better than ever. Person to person, single garage sales is the only good thing Facebook has given.
38:31 It's like up close magic. You're seeing it all right there. And sometimes you run around the room. Okay. Anyway, I hope I don't sound like a stalker now. No, you made a friend. You bought a friend. I mean, it's not mutual.
38:42 You made a friend who doesn't know you're her friend. She doesn't know that I'm upset. She will now. I have a few of those. Guys, I bought a thing for this great dude. Dante Williams is a producer. He does a lot of stuff with Charlie Barnes. I bought him for his engagement.
38:54 A Green Bay Packers thing I found on Facebook Marketplace. I ended up in a Hobbit's Den with this dude that was trying to smoke joints with me. He's got tapestries all over the wall. We're like deep in North Hollywood. I'm like, this is jewel. Yes. Yes. I love it.
39:08 It's opening the door. A portal. Riverview, Florida. CBS 12. A Riverview man was arrested after Hillsborough County deputy said he advertised hallucinogenic drugs for sale on Facebook marketplace. Gotta get it out there somehow. These are tough times. This is a bit we've been working on.
39:25 That weed and that stuff should be legal. Weed stores. Weed stores and dispensaries illegal. Right. Because it takes all the joy out of going and buy all the adventure, all the like I have to sit down and listen to this guy's band's mixtape. Right. And then I get nervous when you're, where you're at your dealer's place and there's a knock on the door.
39:45 Right. Right. No, if someone, when you pull out your money to pay, someone should always be like, dude, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, not here. Not here. Not here. Yeah. You shouldn't whip out your credit card and get like Delta Sky Miles. Like, I shouldn't get Marriott Bonvoy points.
39:59 There should be like a security guy out front. Right. Protecting you. Yeah. I don't want to make a genius bar appointment with my butt tender. It would be fun if one of these places set it up that you are just in like a college apartment. Like that's the store. That's the store.
40:12 That would be so good. Dan, this is it. Because now or like a basement. Can we add this to our biddeme? Yeah, like a high school, like a high school basement and they have to keep acting.
40:23 Like if you're like, dude, I love this place. Dude, my parents were like under. Yeah. It's under a trainer. It's under a trainer Joe.
40:29 You got to like go down. They give you a little doggy bag. You have to not. You have to say things. Do you like, hey, when you walk out of here, like don't walk weird. Yeah. Don't be weird.
40:39 What do you mean? I won't be weird. Don't be weird. If we can have a rainforest cafe, we can have a themed college dorm marijuana. I used to work at a medicinal marijuana clinic. You did. I did. So you're taking jobs away from people like me.
40:53 Wouldn't it be fun though, too? In the theme, at any point they could look at you in this themed marijuana bar. At any point, they could look at you. You know what, man? Actually, I'm not selling it. Yeah. I don't like you. Hang on a second.
41:07 Hang on a second. Hang on a second. Are you cool, man? I was just going to say that. Someone has to ask you that in this store. Are you cool? Are you cool, man? I don't know about this guy.
41:15 Get him out of here. Get him out of here. You can wait outside. And the person at the door who just acts like they're just like asleep in a recliner is like, hey, are you cool? And they're like, yeah. And they're like, what's your name? You're like, Jason. They're then after go, hey, Dave, do you know what Jason?
41:27 They're like, yeah, he's supposed to come by. He's cool. He's cool. Treat it like. You shouldn't be able to bring it back in and be like, I need to talk to the manager. I want to exchange these. No. No.
41:36 You said 0.5 on these edibles. It's 0.7. I know. So get back in here. I want my money back. They should refer to their manager as their guy. But like, well, my guy, like, he gave these. So that when you go, I need to talk to your guy then.
41:48 I need to talk to your guy. He's not here, dude. But also, like, if you're going to do a Facebook marketplace, say like you're selling Alice and Wonderland cake. Fun. Like, you got to be an experience. Don't say. Or just brownies.
42:02 Herbs and plants. Brownies. Yeah. I have herbs and plants. Natural herbs. Right. Haldbrook. County Sheriff said
42:09 its opioid overdose investigation section served a search warrant Wednesday at the home of the 5500 block of Jennifer Coolidge Street, the Jennifer part I got it. Detectives and Zachary
42:20 said Zachary Diaz, I don't know if I want to mess with any of those DES brothers, was operating a business that sold peyote and psilocybin mushrooms. Deputies said the products were advertised on Facebook Marketplace.
42:33 During the search, detectives seized how many live plants? What size operation do you think? Zachary Diaz on Facebook marketplace? It's gotta be pretty big. Is he a young idiot with like two plants and thinks he's scarface? No, no, no, no, 200 plants.
42:48 Okay, 200? 500 from Jason. Oh, shit, you both guessed what my, I was going to guess. I'll go in the middle, I'll say 300. Okay. They see 131 plants. Okay, we were on the right track. Fisable.
42:59 Yes. Investigator said they recovered about 50 pounds of mescaline containing cacti, Masculine containing cacti, that's all one term. Yeah. And one and a half pounds of psilocybin mushrooms. That's a lot. It's a pound, one and a half pounds. Diaz, who deputy said already had outstanding warrants connected to the investigation.
43:18 Of course. I mean, then you mean part of the, part of this. Sure. Yeah. Faces three counts of possession, controlled substance, intent to sell, manufacture, deliver within a thousand feet of a church. Poor guy. Church people are already getting high on God.
43:30 What if that church is a converted comedy? Who cares if you're selling within a thousand feet of a church? He's literally high on. his own supply. Yes. Remember the 70s when people really combine drug culture and a love of Jesus Christ? Let them grow. Yeah. I don't, I just don't think pot and psilocybin is should be illegal. Agreed. I agree. Just legalize it. Thank you. Or like that harsh. Like if you haven't approved it yet, then just make it like a fine. Yeah. Exactly. Take away a hundred. And tell him, be like, dude, stop advertising this shit. Yeah. And if you're talking to me, you have to go, the fuck, bro.
44:00 Even if you're a cop. You're going to slap on it, bro. Okay. Did all those guys in jail from like 40 years because they're like son of one joint they're like they're more mad at the dispensary store than me are and I think they have a little bit of a ride I think they totally do all right we get out of this dumb little third story here how old is Zachary Dias 131 plants Facebook marketplace I know he's in his 50s because it's Facebook because he doesn't understand Facebook he doesn't understand posting with nuance he's like it'll be fine 46. 46 from Jason.
44:36 53. 53 from America. 61. Zachary Diaz. Thank you for being here today. Erica Rhodes. Erica Rhodes.com. Thank you.
44:45 Go see the scholars. Go see me. I will tell you. He is 32 years ago. Wow. Learn how the internet works. Learn how to use the old person's thing. Dude, don't post while hi, bro.
44:59 Come on, man. Crazy. All right. All right, you guys. That is an episode. Thank you, everybody. and oh snap, we gotta get back to work. Peace.
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