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Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - Larry David

Episode Date: April 30, 2025

Larry David comes to David's house. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://p...odcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 David, I don't know if you know this about me, but I've always been a fan of exploring new places. Not like you kind of, you know, no, no offense. And one of my best trips, listen up, is when I stayed at an Airbnb. It felt like I was living like a local with all the space, comfort of home. There was an Ottoman in there. You know what those are? An almond?
Starting point is 00:00:22 An almond in a man. There was an almond farm? Or an Ottoman? Yes, an Ottoman. You know, hey, I tripped over one once, but not in an Airbnb. Way better than being cooped up in a hotel room. Do you know what I'm talking about? Yeah, of course.
Starting point is 00:00:39 Here's a quick impression of you right now. What does he mean? What's going on? I don't understand. I'm lost. Dana talks too fast. Who's that? No, listen, all kidding aside, Dana,
Starting point is 00:00:48 and I know you're being facetious, but if you're planning a next trip, you should check out Airbnb's guest favorites. These are the most loved homes on Airbnb. Trust me, they take your trip to the next level. It got me thinking, all those trips I took growing up, cramming hotel rooms, sleeping in the car. It would have been so much better to stay in Airbnb.
Starting point is 00:01:11 We could have designed it as a family. Let's all get on. Let's figure out what stuff we like. More space, more privacy, probably a way cooler location. I'm going, I'm just gonna say it. Some trips are just better in an Airbnb, like traveling with a group of friends, a big family, or if you're after an authentic local experience.
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Starting point is 00:02:08 the most points on everyday purchases. The PC Insider's World's Elite Mastercard, the card for living unlimited. Conditions apply to all benefits. Visit pcfinancial.ca for details. Okay, we got Larry David, one of our favorites that we've been trying to get for a little while, but of course we know he doesn't like to do anything.
Starting point is 00:02:24 But he made it, he came to. And, but he made it. He came to the house, actually insisted on it. He drove in and we were very flattered. Is one of our, the guests we wanted to always get, possibly the most influential comedian or best comedian of the last many years. But yeah, he had a great sense of humor. I do go off on a few bits.
Starting point is 00:02:44 I apologize for that. Yeah, I think the crowd will be just as happy as he was. He was laughing so hard. He's a great crowd. We touch on a lot of topics and- Seinfeld, curb, all the usual things. The usual suspects and some other stuff. We sort of jumped around, talked about the 50th,
Starting point is 00:03:03 talked about the 40th and now around, talked about the 50th, talked about the 40th. And now- And talked about the 30th. And we talked about, oh, I did Curve and I walked you through the process. And overall, I think we ended on a real high note. He was laughing pretty hard. So that was a real victory. Enjoy it. Enjoy the episode. Yeah. You'll see what happens.
Starting point is 00:03:21 Always say no. Always say no. It's the best, best advice you could give anyone. Never. I was just talking to somebody the other day. They go, why did I say yes to this? Why did I say yes? Everybody goes through that every day. Yeah. People cannot say no. it's so impossible. Well, if you're turning down a lot, it's a rhythm thing. No, no, no. But at least you're known as someone that says no. How many podcasts do you turn down in a year?
Starting point is 00:03:57 300. I don't wanna, over a thousand? Over a thousand. I don't wanna sound immodest. 2,000? Over a thousand. I don't want to sound immodest. A two thousand. There is, listen, Nancy Reagan had it right.
Starting point is 00:04:11 Just say no. And no one listened. Yeah, completely. She was right on a lot of things. She was talking about drugs. Well. Can I hear my Reagan? He got his Reagan in.
Starting point is 00:04:22 By the way, I'll sit here for an hour and just listen to you. Well, I like this rhythm. I'll see if you like this rhythm. It's Reagan dealing with modern enemies, right? Who are they? What? Tell-a-who?
Starting point is 00:04:34 Banny what? What'd they do? To who? Where? When? How? Why? Well, then we have no choice.
Starting point is 00:04:43 Fire away with everything we got and then call them and see if they're still there. There, that was it. then we have no choice. Fire away with everything we got and then call them and see if they're still there. There, that was it. I made Larry David laugh. I've got one for you that if you can do, I would just, I would ask you to do it every time I saw you. Okay. A younger Biden, not the old Biden,
Starting point is 00:05:02 a younger Biden with that Baltimore accent. I know, I know. Well, that's very specific. You know that accent I'm talking about? They did it in that series. What was it called with Kate Winslet? Oh, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. He's something.
Starting point is 00:05:20 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and they had that. No, I know, it's very subtle. He's got some of that. Right. This never doesn't get a laugh in standup. And I'll do it over and over again to the audience. No, I'm being serious.
Starting point is 00:05:31 And I say to the audience, I will keep doing it until you don't laugh. I'm getting around here. See, you're so lucky that you can do that stuff. I don't have jokes. Well, I mean, if something you do isn't working, then you just, you make them laugh again. You always have a laugh at your disposal.
Starting point is 00:05:53 For sure. Most standups don't have that laugh at their disposal all the time. It's terrifying to go up, and if you don't have a go to something. Right. Dana's got great stuff, and also you can put a 10% joke in an impression
Starting point is 00:06:04 it's worth 100%. And just ride the rhythm. I put it on my notes. Stay, stay here. Don't be in a hurry. Stay here. If it says Ross Perot, you're gonna do him for sure. Or Anthony Fauci.
Starting point is 00:06:13 Every president since Calvin Coolidge, he does it and the crowd's like. Yeah, they freak out. But a young Biden, that's a challenge. Yeah. You do FDR? We are, no, now I'm doing JFK. We don't do it because, my bid on JFK now is that
Starting point is 00:06:30 he needs an AI, Bobby needs an AI, that his voice will then go to JFK's voice. Oh, Bobby's? Yeah, cause we all sound like Bobby. If we smoke pot in high school, be like, I can't believe what the pharmaceutical companies are doing. You know, introducing JFK AI. We understand that the pharmaceutical companies are doing, I'm just going to do this all afternoon.
Starting point is 00:06:54 Come on, I'm, you know, I'm thoroughly entertained. I would pay to sit here and listen. But it's a good honor to finish the line. I would pay them to listen to this. Go ahead. See if you can say, we don't do it because it's easy, we do it because it's hard. We're the right age group. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:06 Cricket's up here. They know. Yes, so. So you're settled in. You said yes, you're here. Do you need anything? I'll open some water here. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:18 We got you some of the high fancy water from your rider. Has any human performer- How about those people who they want like grape jelly or something. Have you ever seen your rider? I don't know if you do a lot of standup. Have you ever seen your rider? What are you demanding? Me neither.
Starting point is 00:07:41 I feel like yours is a little below JLo but above Chris Kattan. Let's see. I've had people in tears coming at me. I'm coming backstage for the gig. We only have three towels. Yeah. We couldn't find Triscuits.
Starting point is 00:07:57 I didn't see my rider. I don't, you know. I don't like to eat anything at all before I'm going on somewhere. Not even a little bit of chocolate. No, nothing. A bite of chocolate. No, nothing. Do you still do stand-up?
Starting point is 00:08:10 Do you go out and do like an hour or something? No, last year I did, you know, I was interviewed. On stage. On stage, yeah. Cha-ching. One of like these bullshit things? Yeah, yeah, something like this, yeah. Yeah, that was the best though, because it's not really. Yeah, it's not stand up.
Starting point is 00:08:29 It's not that hard. Right. Yeah. Oh yeah, I heard before the pandemic, Julie Louise Stryfus, remember her, you know her. She was doing interviews. Check out the call sheet, you'll remember. She was doing interviews for corporate events.
Starting point is 00:08:41 I thought, oh man, that's so nice. 20 minutes with the CEO. Yeah. She rakes it in. that's so nice. 20 minutes with the CEO. Yeah. Rakes it in. What's the question that makes you the happiest and what's the question that is annoying for you? I think I have an idea. I think now the most annoying question is,
Starting point is 00:08:56 are you gonna do another season? Yeah. Oh, well, now that we're here. Yeah. Did you just say yes at the end, meaning you're not, are you? I didn't know that your special was named Curb Your Enthusiasm, is that true?
Starting point is 00:09:10 Your stand-up special? Yeah, I saw it. And then you borrowed that, yeah. You took that in. And was it 2000? Has it been around that long? Yeah. God dang.
Starting point is 00:09:18 2000. And you've had people on Curb that went on to be bigger stars. You actually got them early. Yeah. who? I'm asking you. Me? That's exciting.
Starting point is 00:09:34 No, I do have a curve story for you. You might've heard it because you were part of it, but Dana, I did this young man's show. It was one of the great fun things of life is to be on a show that's a fucking hit show, everyone loves, everyone's sensibility, everyone in the future goes, oh, I wanna do a show like Curb,
Starting point is 00:09:51 that's the most common thing I hear. It's 10 times more complicated than they can probably think. It seems very easy, looks easy. I think the fun part when I did it was the idea was you, I don't know if you remember this, you did so many, but you wanted tickets to Laker game and you used to work at NBC. So you asked the president of NBC and they have two sets.
Starting point is 00:10:11 This is, I think true anyway. So they say, yes, give Larry two tickets. So you go with Jeff and you're in the rafters. And then you get the binoculars to see, oh, they have two sets of tickets. And then you go, who's on the floor where we wanted to be? And he's sitting with me. And so you're like, that motherfucker,
Starting point is 00:10:29 why is Spade down there? And why are we up here? I fucking, I was on science. So anyway, we run into you guys leaving. And the part that I thought was interesting, I didn't even tell Dana this, but it's like, the way I remember it was someone comes up to me and I think we have the forum or wherever it is.
Starting point is 00:10:49 And I think that's how big of a production is. You have that, you have extras. We did some in a real game. I think we used those Endeavor seats or whatever, William Morris. And then, so we were at the real game and then afterwards we get a bunch of extras to stay. And so we were leaving.
Starting point is 00:11:07 So me and that president of NBC are leaving and Larry's coming out with Jeff. And they come up to me and they go, you're gonna run into him. So be apologetic, something like that. It was just an idea, no lines. And then I go, and what's Larry doing? They go, you'll find out.
Starting point is 00:11:22 So then you guys decide what you wanna do. Obviously you decide. And so we come in and we have like a five They go, you'll find out. So then you guys decide what you wanna do. Obviously you decide. And so we come in and we have like a five minute talk where I'm like, ah, sorry. Cause you're like, why would he be there? I'm like, I don't, I don't wanna be a part of this, whatever, whatever. Then they go cut.
Starting point is 00:11:34 And then they come back and they go, this one defend yourself. And it's so funny cause you have five seconds. So I'm like, well, whatever happens. And I don't know what you're gonna do. And then you're like, why would he be there? I'm like, well, we both were on big shows. And you're like, well, I was on sign film.
Starting point is 00:11:47 I go, well, listen, we're both top 10 shows. It's kind of a push. And you're like, a push? Well, just shoot me was the same as. So anyway, it just makes for a fun, real, fake argument, whatever, whatever. And then they did like one or two more of different things. Was a blast.
Starting point is 00:12:03 David? It's very interesting, honestly, for people to know that because the hard part for Larry is to go in there and decide which is the funniest version, what line. That's just so complicated. The greatest part I love is when I can tell that you or the great Richard Lewis or Jeff Garland, you're not sure you're doing a take
Starting point is 00:12:25 because you're just talking and you might use it, you might not. I mean, it's the absolute opposite of a traditional, Larry Sanders was the first that I had an experience like that. First of all, I never would have done a show if I had to memorize lines. Smart.
Starting point is 00:12:41 It's too hard. It's, I don't like it and I'm not really an actor. And you have to be- Guilty. You have to be an actor to memorize lines. I suppose I could do it, but it wouldn't be fun. Here, I'm kind of making it up as we're going along. And I don't know, it's just, I just left my way through 12 seasons.
Starting point is 00:13:03 I know, it's infectious to watch. You know, the last 20 years, I don't think I've ever gone to any kind of meeting about any kind of show where, you know, it's gonna be like Curb, or we're thinking like a Curb type show. Has anyone even landed close to the sensibility? And what is the secret?
Starting point is 00:13:20 You don't have to tell us here. Yeah. We can cut this part out. If there is like one secret. Tell us who's done it poorly first. Who's doing it? I don't even know who's doing it. The only thing I can think of is Larry Sanders in the 90s had a sense of three cameras going at all times, 16 millimeters, and Gary would say, you do this kind of, or say something like this, you know. Oh, they improvised a lot. At least when I was there.
Starting point is 00:13:41 something like this, you know. Oh, they improvise a lot? At least when I was there. But I don't think it was quite like yours where like you're so improvised. Whatever you have, it's working, don't even. Hey, are you gonna do another season? I knew you were gonna say that. No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:13:55 Is there anybody you asked to do Curb that didn't do it like some star that you wanted? I think there were some people who were, just weren't down with the idea of improvising. Yeah. Some are like to do the lines. They'd be more comfortable. Yeah, more comfortable.
Starting point is 00:14:11 It's hard to make lines your own. That's hard when you're doing shows and movies. That's why they sometimes feel stiff because if you can just play off what's happening at that second and the attitude, that's way more fun. It is hard to do though. I mean, the worst thing that actors did on the show is if they would try to be funny. Yeah, are they coming going, I'm funny.
Starting point is 00:14:28 Trying to come up with funny lines. Not, no. Yeah. The hardest part I've seen even on, like for Adam on Sandler and those movies, is a lot of people that come on that have never worked with them, first of all, proclaim their funniness, which is always red flag.
Starting point is 00:14:44 And then they come up and say, I had some ideas for the scene. And it's for you to be the creator and you can't blame anyone else, and you have to say no. So when they come to you and go Larry, I thought I'd play it more. I got a guy that talks like this
Starting point is 00:14:57 and you gotta go, oh fuck. Can you just don't do that? It's a hard position to be in. No, it's very easy. Okay. I was trying to help you a little bit. It's not hard at all. No, it's very easy. Okay. I was trying to help you a little bit. It's not hard at all. No, that's not good.
Starting point is 00:15:09 Don't do that. Okay. I've got two of us killed. And they would slink away and go, fuck that. Sometimes at auditions, actors would try and cry. I go, oh God, no, stop, no, no. Oh man, the two metrics now, never have a line that's written that someone has to say
Starting point is 00:15:34 and don't anybody ever be caught trying to be funny, unless the character is trying to be funny. Yeah, exactly. That's different. But none of that winking, it's a real Rubicon, you can really feel it in sitcoms when it's just pushed. Well, I like this stuff. You did good, I'm just saying, I'm a fan. The stuff that's played like in a wide shot is always good.
Starting point is 00:15:54 Sometimes you get on a movie and they go, Dana and I talk about this, you get too locked into two shot, one shot, push in, push in, and you're losing all the momentum and all the fun of it, and it looks too stiff, back, forth, back. Sometimes it's nice, those old Woody Allen or whatever, even Tarantino in a wide shot, just two people talking,
Starting point is 00:16:10 looks real, you've got to figure out where to look instead of going, look here, look there, we got it, we got it. We've seen it. The Woody Allen thing is a little scary because I did- Oh, you did a couple. What was the name of that movie? It's called-
Starting point is 00:16:23 A Couple, Dana. Yeah, whatever. Woody Allen. Yeah. Anyway, I did one. Once did a couple. What was the name of that movie? It's called- A Couple, Dana. Yeah, whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, I did one, once upon a time. He doesn't remember. And you know, because he does these take, you gotta get it all in one.
Starting point is 00:16:37 And the whole take I'm going, I got four more lines to go. I'm not comfortable at all, because you can't make a mistake there's no cutting. Yeah. After my first take, the first day of filming after the first take he comes up to me and he goes, not terrible. And now I use that every time somebody asked me, yeah how you doing? I go not terrible. Yeah. That's a good medium place to be.
Starting point is 00:17:05 Robert Mitchum told me that the guy who played Tarzan, because Robert Mitchum was a guest host, and he was the host of SNL. I go, hey, how you doing today? He goes, worse. I go, worse? Why do you say worse? Because I think it was Lex Barr.
Starting point is 00:17:21 Some guy who played Tarzan, he came out of his trailer and said, I feel great and then did a header, you know? So ever since then, he just says worse. That's, I love that. Discover the magic of Bet MGM Casino, where the excitement is always on deck. Pull up a seat and check out a wide variety of table games with live dealer.
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Starting point is 00:18:01 Make deposits instantly to jump in on the fun and make same day withdrawals if you win. Download the Bet MGM Ontario app today and more. about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. Oh, you did Tough Guys, is that the one? I did so much shit, I was so bad. I have a Hall of Fame.
Starting point is 00:18:43 So bad. I can't say lines 175 times between all the takes and all the closeups. And by four in the afternoon, you first said the lines at 7 a.m. And by five o'clock, it's not even English. Going in tight on Dana. You guys got some heads of hair on you, the two of you.
Starting point is 00:18:59 You know? Best hair money combined. When did you know, did you ever think like, oh, I'm gonna have all of my hair for the rest of my life? Did that thought occur to you at some point? Yes. I had a pretty good head of hair. First of all, it went way up in these corners
Starting point is 00:19:17 that are covered right now when I was in my 20s. So I went to a barber, he goes, you're gonna be gone by 30. What? Really? Yeah, barber, guy,, he saw it going back. But it went back and then it stopped. Wow. Very rare. And then I do take a little funesteride.
Starting point is 00:19:34 What's that? I'm sorry? It's stuff that keeps your hair. Formaldehyde, what does that do? Keeps your hair in your head. Really? Yeah. Matthew McConaughey does it. All right, all right, all right, all right. Dude, I grew up with motor oil.
Starting point is 00:19:47 Everything I could find, I threw in my hair, just trying every trick in the book. It's so horrible. But let me just explain that because we'll get letters, old fashioned parlance. Dosage matters with any med you take. I had this woman, she was trying to do super vegan and she was a Macy's, she was 87.
Starting point is 00:20:04 I go, you could have some salmon. Oh no, I can't. Well, I tried to statin and I had terrible side effects. Would you ever think of taking a lower dose? Ask your doctor. So she lowered the dose, took her cholesterol out, no side effects. So the same thing with finasteride.
Starting point is 00:20:18 People were popping it like candy, then they had sexual side effects, depression. You just need a little bit to keep the hair in your head and it will grow hair. I don't get it. You have to give her that advice? What, the doctor couldn't tell her that? She couldn't read the back of the bottle.
Starting point is 00:20:32 Doctors are not really, most of them are just high school seniors that can have a lab coat on. They don't know anything, most of them. They're terrible. I mean, right? I mean, do you? What, doctors?
Starting point is 00:20:44 Yeah. I still have great faith in them. Yeah, Dana. Interesting. Yeah. I look at you and hold it. They're doctors, Dana, doctors. I know, I used to bow down when we were talking about to a contractor or a landscape architect.
Starting point is 00:20:56 We'll put a big tree right in the middle of the grass. Why? Well, you need it. No, you don't. Well, you know, you can never have a doctor as a friend because you'll lose all, you see, they're so human. How could you, you're kind of stupid actually in life. Well, you can read the same stuff they're reading.
Starting point is 00:21:12 You can read NIH, you can read Harvard, whatever. You can read everything the doctors read. You can, why are you reading that? I do, I do. You do? A lot, if I have an issue with something, yeah, I'll look it up. I have stano for medical.
Starting point is 00:21:25 Don't you ever research stuff? I don't wanna read anything medical, it'll just scare me. I never look at anything medical. When you do get this, when you go to the doctor, they talk about everything jokey except for what's wrong with you. Like they come in, how's it going?
Starting point is 00:21:40 What's been going on? Have you been on the road? And I'm like, I'm sitting here for 49 minutes waiting and I know I've got a six minute window with you. Like, let's get to the stuff and then, there we go, and then the last second, oh right, bend over and stick a finger in your ass. Okay, so I almost forgot that part.
Starting point is 00:21:55 Did you ever do a prostate exam joke? No. Yes. I didn't think you would. I thought you were talking to me. Oh yeah. Oh yeah, I for sure did. The cheesiest one that always gets, I don't do, I've never done one, I've never written one,
Starting point is 00:22:07 but the one that made me laugh the most was, look ma, no hands. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's a stock joke, it wasn't mine. Yeah. No, the joke that you try to bury into real life is when I was playing the Mirage, I go,
Starting point is 00:22:21 David Copperfield was in the steam room. I milked it out so long and they go, he was in the steam room? And I go, yeah Copperfield was in the steam room. I milked it out so long and they go, he was in the steam room? And I go, yeah. And he's sitting next to me, but his towel slid off. He was just sitting there weird. And he goes, hey, he goes,
Starting point is 00:22:33 I go, can you do magic now that you have nothing here? And he goes, yeah. And I go, it's not real. And he goes, all right, quickly. He goes, get up. He gets behind me. And he goes, all right, do you feel my thumb in your ass? And I go, yeah. And he goes, get up, he gets behind me, and he goes, all right, do you feel my thumb in your ass?
Starting point is 00:22:46 And I go, yeah, and he goes, ta-da. Reaches around me. So it was sort of magic. That's funny. Did you ever do a Hitler joke? You do a lot of Hitler jokes. I'm not talking about the editorial, but just, because everyone has a Hitler joke. What's your best Hitler joke. You do a lot of Hitler jokes. I'm not talking about the editorial, but just, because everyone has a Hitler joke.
Starting point is 00:23:06 What's your best Hitler joke? I did, I used to do one in standup. It had to do with about Hitler going to a magic show. That's already funny. Anything Hitler does is funny. And he goes backstage after, and he's very insistent on finding out where the rabbit is. And you know, magicians have a code,
Starting point is 00:23:33 they can't tell how the tricks are done. And Hitler's going, where's the rabbit? I'm very curious, where's the rabbit? And he goes, well, Mein Fuhrer, you know, we're not really allowed to, it's a code amongst me. Yes, yes, yes, but where is the rabbit? And he goes, well, mein Fuhrer, you know, we not really allowed to, it's a code amongst me. Yes, yes, yes, but where is the rabbit? It was something like that.
Starting point is 00:23:52 I forgot the rest of it. Where was it? Did you do that in the 99 special? I did. Yes, I remembered it. Do you have a Hitler joke? You know, I don't think I have one because, oh, you know, I did have a book when I did my first book. Oh, a couple people remember?
Starting point is 00:24:10 Thank you. Um, is it was, I used a picture of me when I was five years old. My mom had me a little blue suit with white hair down to here. And it was a weird shot down on me in front of my old apartments. And I'm just standing so stiffly that I said, what if we called the book, Mr. Hitler, We'll See You Now? Because I was like a five-year-old kid, looked like a little Aryan, and it got universally no.
Starting point is 00:24:34 So, and I'm kind of glad because I sort of skim over stuff. I'm from Arizona, we were never into religion, we were never into many things that could be very offensive. And so we joked about everything, racism, all this. So sometimes I would stumble in my act and say things too far and someone would pull me aside and say, I wouldn't say that anymore.
Starting point is 00:24:53 And I wouldn't know how deep these things went or hit. And I'd be like, okay. So it took me a while. Even on that one, it was a little late in the game. But to even say I should do that. But Hitler gets thrown around and it just, it offends too many people. I'm not Jewish.
Starting point is 00:25:08 I can't say. I did a Hitler bit. I was doing a benefit for Cedars-Hinai cardiology department and I did a Hitler bit. A guy would actually put a stent in my chest, goes, do you know where you are? You know, and I, do you want to hear it? Yeah, go. It's not a bit, it's an observation.
Starting point is 00:25:21 Cause I thought I don't have any original observation about Hitler. And then I thought of one, and I want you to tell me you've never heard it before. Hopefully, or you've heard it before. All we do is see Hitler throughout history screaming, I've been doing this son of a, we never see him talking normal. We do this for a living, he must be exhausted backstage,
Starting point is 00:25:44 just wiped out, almost effeminate. Oh him, I can't feel my deltoid, whoever said to do this, shoot him. He gets off stage and goes to the heads of the green room and he's like, they were good. They were pretty good, he's back to his normal voice. But just exhausted, Hitler, Langeres, Gurren, my little new father man.
Starting point is 00:26:01 Yeah, that's great. Don't fat shame yourself. I have a cookie I eat that I put the plate down. You have a cookie, your brain throws a party, you have a hundred cookies. So he breaks down addiction to carbohydrates. That's funny. Okay.
Starting point is 00:26:14 Hitler's green room, what's on his rider. All right. I look at my notes, there's literally no notes to ask anything, it's two. Go ahead, Dana. Whatever you got. Well, I know this will make you happy. Jalen Brunson.
Starting point is 00:26:25 Brunson. Yeah. New York Knicks. Yes, yes. Right in the throes of it. Stephen A. Smith and LeBron. Who would win if they went, because we think we know,
Starting point is 00:26:38 but Stephen A. Smith isn't tiny. I mean, I would get snapped in half by LeBron. Stephen A. Smith would get snapped in half. LeBron is Hey, Stephen A. Smith would get snapped in half. LeBron is a beast, man. It's unbelievable. What is he doing? I don't know, he's 40 years old. It's just incredible what he's doing.
Starting point is 00:26:52 Yeah. If I had that money, I think, and he's already like such a perfect specimen athlete, I don't know what I would do. I don't know what I would, obviously pour it back into trying to stay alive, top of the 100. I look at Brad Pitt and I go,
Starting point is 00:27:05 I don't know what's going on, but if something, no one's gonna get to regular Brad Pitt, he looks even better now. I'm like, fuck that, that's like cheating. Because he could have been fine skating along. And if he did, I don't say he did, because mostly just jealousy and anger. But if he did something, I'm flying to that guy
Starting point is 00:27:24 and just saying, do whatever you gotta do. Because someone told me on my comments, it looks like I slept on my face. And those sting, Larry. You're supposed to let him go and- Well, you look kind of the same. Yeah, you look pretty shocking. You look like 45 years.
Starting point is 00:27:38 Cause when did your hair, but when did it go white? How old? It probably started in my, probably in my late 30s. Wow. That was a joke. No, but Steve Martin, the same thing. He looks kind of the same. Steve Martin was like 12.
Starting point is 00:27:58 I'm working on this baby face with bangs. I'm gonna be 17 a month. Keep the hair messy. Really, you're gonna be 17 a month? Yes, thank you, Larry. For being surprised. Isn't that a great compliment when people are surprised when you tell them your age?
Starting point is 00:28:12 Yes, it is. But when you tell them eventually you say I'm gonna be 70 a month, they go, oh. You're like, really? Just an oh? Yeah. Can I get a really? Andy Samberg said, you're gonna be 70.
Starting point is 00:28:28 I go, thank you Andy. That's a great compliment. Okay, I have something you may not have heard before. Tell me if you have. Carol Leifer was on our show. Okay. And she's talked about you and Jerry, the dynamic. And she said, you're John Lennon
Starting point is 00:28:41 and Jerry is Paul McCartney. Have you heard that before? You probably have heard it. I've heard it. It's quite ridiculous, but I've heard it. But then it makes you unpack it a little bit in your brain. Like, well, wait a minute, how, my strawberry fields and he's Penny Lane.
Starting point is 00:28:57 Yeah, I would rather be out of those. Both geniuses. Not bad. Yeah, I don't, I think I have a feeling our dynamic was maybe not fraught with the friction that theirs was. Well, I asked Paul McCartney about it. And he said, well, the difference was, they were doing comedy and we were doing strumming and singing. So it's a different thing. The analogy doesn't quite fit, you know. Larry David looks the same for the last 40 years.
Starting point is 00:29:31 I go, I totally agree, Paul. Were you on CBS Radford lot? Yeah. That's right. I think we were there at the same time, honestly. I think Just Shoot Me, Will and Grace. I think you guys. We were there up until 98.
Starting point is 00:29:44 What was the call sheet? What was the order of the cast? Have no idea, Larry. We were there up until 98. What was the call sheet? What was the order of the cast? Have no idea. Larry? Never looked at it. Tell me. You mean the Seinfeld call sheet?
Starting point is 00:29:55 Jerry. Honest to God. One. I never looked at it once. What do you think it was, Dana? I'd assume it'd have to be Jerry. And then we'll keep going. I mean, it's a good question.
Starting point is 00:30:03 I never- What's those four in a row? I never looked at it. Julie Louise Stryfus, number two. She has probably a bigger name, right? Well, Julie wasn't in the pilot. Jason was in the pilot. Oh, he might've inched ahead and leaned at the tape and got to number two.
Starting point is 00:30:20 I was not an early adopter. I was being wined and dined by NBC to do the Letterman slot, Warren Littlefield, and having lunch with him. You mean the talk show host? Yeah. You were gonna be a host on television. Yeah, I know, it seems amazing.
Starting point is 00:30:35 He'd be great. It wouldn't work at all. Ooh, this is my first day. He'd be great. Well, maybe if you had David as the coach, it might've worked. We would've evolved it. Andy Richter.
Starting point is 00:30:49 No, but basically they said, you know, we have this new show. I think only four had been made or something. It's called Seinfeld and we think it might be, it's gonna be really big. And they told me about it and who was in it. And I just thought to myself, oh boy, that's not gonna happen.
Starting point is 00:31:03 Bomb. That doesn't sound like a winner. Yeah, I agree with that. Well, whatever I'm involved in, I never thought would work. So no, I thought it would be gone very quickly. I was just doing it for the pilot. I would do a pilot, get paid for the pilot.
Starting point is 00:31:25 Right. And then that would be it. Yeah, the chances of pilots going are so slim, especially. And you're coming off SNL then? Was that SNL to that? SNL was 84, 85. How'd that go? Oh, swimmingly.
Starting point is 00:31:39 Well, you made up for it. It just shows that you just don't know you need the right situation or whatever, because for you not to do great on that show and then you go off and do, well, some people do that. They have trouble there and they go off and do great. I didn't really, it didn't really bother me that much.
Starting point is 00:31:59 I got one sketch on for the season. Yeah. I got one sketch on for the season. I got one sketch on. It reminded me a bit of a stand up in a way when I would, I'd be waiting to go on and then, I don't know, somebody famous would come in and I'd get bumped and bumped again. And I was actually glad I got bumped because I didn't want to go on anyway. I was happy, I was happy not to go on. And so, I don't know writers make such a big deal about if their schedule is going to be,
Starting point is 00:32:35 I didn't really care that much. Yeah. It didn't, it didn't really bother me. Well, when I was there writing, all I cared about was getting picked up again for the next year, because there's just no money. So I just don't want to look like an asshole. And they'd call Gervitz and Brad Gray and go,
Starting point is 00:32:49 Lauren would go, I don't know, we may bring him back. So I'd have to get rid of my apartment. And every year I did that. And then I, there wasn't door-to-ash ladies. It was drag your part, you know, your mattress down the stairs, and then you got to re-put your apartment. My apartment was literally a bed, a desk,
Starting point is 00:33:07 anything I could just literally carry. And then two months later, we'll bring them back. And then I'm like, so I gotta go move back, find an apartment, it's so dumb, but they like to keep you on the edge of your seat there. So you didn't have Lorne, Lorne was not there. Oh, you didn't have Lorne. No, I didn't have Lorne.
Starting point is 00:33:22 Oh, I was just doing a compression, it was a 10 out of 10, unfortunately, you didn't know. Well, no, he's hosted twice. I knew you were doing Lorne. Yeah. It was a very subtle, you know. No, Dick Ebersole. It was too real.
Starting point is 00:33:34 It's kind of a sporting event, someone said about SNL. It's rock and roll, it's loud. I mean, there are subtle. Jack Handy used to do his deep thoughts and there are subtle sketches. It's funny. But I think I heard that you and Jerry just said, for sure at this point,
Starting point is 00:33:48 we're just gonna do the show for ourselves. We're not gonna try to project what the network or even the audience will like. That's what I felt that Seinfeld did it. Yeah, that's what we did. Yeah. I remember we went out to dinner very early on and I said, I can't, how are they letting us do this?
Starting point is 00:34:10 I was shocked. Were the audiences biting on it though? It was in front of an audience, right? Yeah. They were biting, so you thought, well, something's working here. Seemed like a- Because when we were doing ours,
Starting point is 00:34:25 I like to keep comparing like the exact same. When we were doing ours or any sitcom, they would do it and then it would get a medium laugh. And then we liked it all week. The people that we thought were funny to each other. And then they go, listen, the youth prisoners that they bust in for the show aren't biting on this one. So let's dumb it down a little bit.
Starting point is 00:34:45 And then I go, well, let's not wind up with the one that these guys like, because we believed in these jokes and then they're scrambling and trying stuff. I'm like, then I don't even know what winds up on the show. But you go, you can't do that. Like it's better to have something where you just pick it and say, this is our style. This is our vibe, like it or not.
Starting point is 00:35:03 It was new. And we've gone through Cheers, Mary Tyler Moore, MASH, all these brilliant sitcoms, half hour shows. And all of a sudden there's a show with a puffy jacket or a soup Nazi. It just was instantly a different sensibility when I saw it. And I saw at least 13 of them.
Starting point is 00:35:21 I don't know how many I've seen, but. We didn't even know how to write a sitcom. It's better. We'd never done it before. You didn't have bad habits. You didn't know how to do a bad one. And there was no writer's room. Oh really?
Starting point is 00:35:40 Yeah, we didn't have a writer's room. Who wrote? Well, we knew some SNL people that wrote on there, but I heard the idea was people would walk into a cold, like freezer room, and then it was you sitting there in a chair in the dark, and they would pitch. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha You would hear, shame! And they'd walk out. But they said it was, they make it more than it is. They probably, cause they go, we'd have to wait
Starting point is 00:36:08 and then we'd go in and pitch. And then Larry would just shake his hand. And they, you have a big laugh. And so they loved it if they could make- Oh, if you could laugh. If they could make Larry laugh in the pitch. I was always very nice to everyone who came in. I could imagine.
Starting point is 00:36:22 You're a good crowd right now. You're just, you're very open. When I see you out in the world, I don't see that much, but you always seem very loose and friendly and there's no people. I think people think of this curmudgeon thing that's like a little,
Starting point is 00:36:33 because it's from the show. Well, that's the character. No, that's me. This is the actor. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:41 Yeah. Yeah. Do more people talk to you? What do they talk to you about in order? They know you, is it Seinfeld or is it Curb or is it something else? Now? Yeah. Well, now it's Curb. It's just Curb all the time.
Starting point is 00:36:53 It's Curb, Curb, Curb, Seinfeld. Curb, Curb, Seinfeld. Was Jerry ever like, Jerry was being sort of a stoic, you know, he doesn't like people being neurotic and creating problems. Because I've gotten into him a little bit. I did comedians and cars and stuff. And so then I realized when he is abrupt about that, he's really slightly annoyed that someone would create a problem, you know, out of nothing.
Starting point is 00:37:19 So he would just, I'd say, I don't know about my act. I don't. How do you write new jokes? Yes, write them. You know, it was like. You know? And at first I was like, is this guy aggressive? No, just do it. He doesn't like neurotic comedians going,
Starting point is 00:37:37 I don't wanna play that club. Don't play it. I mean, does he like that with you? I mean, once I understood where he was coming from, we had him in here and it was, I totally got it. He does not like problems that don't need to exist. And he just, no! Yeah, I like this stance when I said,
Starting point is 00:37:57 it, he doesn't do that many specials. And I said, all the comics now, they do a special for an hour and then they have to throw away the material. And he goes, why do they have to throw it away? I go, I don't wanna throw it. I go, I have stuff that takes so long to sharpen and get it to fucking work.
Starting point is 00:38:12 And when I go on the road, they wanna see a show that works. I don't wanna start from scratch. And he goes, listen. He talks to me like I'm a child. He goes, listen, don't throw it away. He goes, do the jokes at work. He goes, people think they have too many jokes that work. He said, when you was a child, he would listen, don't throw it away. He goes, do the jokes at work. He goes, people think they have too many jokes at work.
Starting point is 00:38:26 He said, when you boil it down, every great comic probably has an hour 15, in their whole career, that's just killers. And I think Leno is like that too. They just boil down to like, get what works and do it. And if some of them are great jokes, it's like songs. I like that. I like when someone does something I like,
Starting point is 00:38:43 especially a comic, I go, this is my favorite one. I'm glad they're doing it. I don't want to see, cause specials get watered down over time. And I'm like, ah, another one? What the fuck? What do you got left in the tank? There's two jokes of Jerry that still stick with me.
Starting point is 00:38:56 That are one was the moose gets lifted out of Alaska and it's up in the sky and it wakes up. And what does the moose think? I guess I can fly now. I just thought that was a great one. And then the eulogy one. You know the eulogy one. What's that one?
Starting point is 00:39:11 The normal inferior human beings is public speaking. So at any funeral, the person given the eulogy would rather be in the casket. It's a great joke. That's good. Yeah. So you had a great partner and he had a great partner. We had a great time. Yeah. So you had a great partner and he had a great partner.
Starting point is 00:39:25 We had a great time. Yeah. But you'll be remembered for Curb. My point is this, no, I don't. Curb's 20 season. Do an impression. Do an impression. You did Bernie Sanders.
Starting point is 00:39:37 Yeah. Okay, what's your memory of that? I just did Biden. Yeah. Where I was, I don't know. So there was a debate in 2000, the election was 2016. And Bernie was running, Hillary was running. Yeah, so there was a debate.
Starting point is 00:39:57 And then I think it was probably, I think the debate was 2015. Yeah. And I never, and so I'm, when Bernie Sanders started to talk, everything he was saying, I would repeat. I don't know if you ever do that. Sometimes. All of a sudden, because he sounded so familiar to me because we're both from Brooklyn, that
Starting point is 00:40:22 I was able in a way to just tap into the way he talked. And he would say something and I would repeat it. And then my agent called me when the debate was over just to talk about it, Ari Emanuel. He said, did you see that? I said, of course I saw it, what do you think? And he goes, okay, I'm calling Lorne Michaels. Perfect. Five minutes later, Lorne is on the phone with Ari
Starting point is 00:40:55 and that was on a Tuesday and on Saturday I'm doing the show. Oh, fun. So you had the 84 experience, then all of a sudden, 2015, you come on, you do Bernie, and it is a smash. I mean, it's like, oh my God, of course, Larry David. And you killed. Must've been fun.
Starting point is 00:41:11 It was fun. Yeah. Because everything you said, you gotta laugh. Yeah, it was fun. Yeah. Did you go to the 50th? You went to the 40th. You did a lot in the 40th, I thought.
Starting point is 00:41:19 I did, yeah, I went to the 40th, and I was in the audience, and I did some bit in the audience. did, yeah, I was in the, I went to the 40th and I was in the audience and I did some bit in the audience. And the 50th, I went, but I didn't do anything. But I got sick at both of them. Okay, good. The 40th and the COVID in 2015.
Starting point is 00:41:37 What would you get? In 2015, I got sick at the 40th. And I was doing a play at the time. And I was, I had to do the play with like 102 temperature, you know? Ouch. Cause you gotta go on. It's so gross to be like, I gotta go on.
Starting point is 00:41:55 It's horrible. And then I got sick again at the 50th, got the flu. You know, something must be there. When I hosted last time, I got sick during dress, the worst fucking anxiety riddle time. In the middle of a sketch, they go, come on, come on. And I stood up, I was in like a UPS outfit. And I go, and then I sat back down on the set and they go, come on. The band's like, ba-da-ba.
Starting point is 00:42:16 You got 90 seconds. And I go, I don't feel good. And I lay down on the floor and everyone's like, what the fuck is going on? So they walk me to the restroom, put me in the bathroom, I lay on the floor, and the audience is still there. Wow. So it was the last sketch, they just wrapped,
Starting point is 00:42:35 and they let him in out, and then they're pounding on the door going, and I hear him going, if he doesn't come out, we're gonna have to put a rerun on him, we gotta tell NBC. And I'm laying on the floor sweating. I don't know if I was food poisoning. Then I started barfing.
Starting point is 00:42:47 And then I just sat there in my Lee PS uniform going, there could be more stress, already you're sick. And everyone, including Lauren, is behind the door going, are we doing this? It's fine if we're not, we just have to. And so I finally get the door and I go, I mean, I can try. And then they go, all right, let's pull the rerun. Let's just try it.
Starting point is 00:43:06 And I started to feel a little better and I got some food in me. And I was like, I don't know what happened. I got the whammy. And then I did a good solid 70% I gave and the guy in the UPS sketch, the writer, I could see him in the back going, yeah, you're real fucking hero.
Starting point is 00:43:22 Cause obviously that sketch got cut because I don't think I even finished it. You know what I mean? The thing about it, when I was doing it and I was sick and I remember thinking during the middle of it, I don't feel sick. I don't, something. Yeah, your adrenaline maybe.
Starting point is 00:43:40 That's remarkable. I felt like Fraser in the 15th round, last time I hosted, like, really? Now, can I do this? And then the same thing, just pass off the dog. Once you get out there. Hear the applause, the laughs. I mean, your hosting was good experiences
Starting point is 00:43:53 or is it not really? Yeah, it was okay. Did Lauren give you a thumbs up? What did Lauren say to you? Well, they invited me to do it again. So I guess it wasn't a total bomb, but I had, you know, the hardest part was having to prepare a monologue. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:12 Yeah. Cause I hadn't been on in a long time. And expect the world from you. So I had to write a monologue and then do it in different clubs. Oh, you had to go out. Yeah, that was. It's a lot of work. Just doing Q and A with the cast.
Starting point is 00:44:29 Yeah, that's the trick one. You singing would have been funny. Yeah. I like doing it in a club, they go, we have a guest here, Larry Dave, and you walk up. So dogs are funny, and everyone's like, what's he doing? And then a half hour before the show at 11 o'clock, I was called up to Lauren's office and the censor was there.
Starting point is 00:44:48 Oh. And the censor said that I couldn't do this bit. Oh, at 11? Yeah, at 11 o'clock. Fuck off. And there were two bits they didn't want me to do. Oh, come on. Oh, please.
Starting point is 00:45:03 And then I went, Well, the other one, whatever. You know, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna. I got it. I'm gonna do it. You're not gonna do it? Well, you said you're gonna do it. I said, no, I'm gonna. Oh, you said you're gonna do it.
Starting point is 00:45:15 I said, yeah. And I said, I can't. I said, I can't. I have to do it. Well, you have nothing. And I go, yeah, I go, why is it offensive? I don't get it. Who's gonna be offended by this?
Starting point is 00:45:24 Lauren, after five minutes of this said, I can't do him, but he said like, he said to the censor, I don't think you're gonna win this one. Yeah. Oh, he said to the censor? He said that to the censor, yeah. I don't think you're gonna win this one.
Starting point is 00:45:44 Yeah, that's exactly it. Let's get Larry to the center. Oh, that's good, yeah. I don't think you're gonna win this one. Yeah, that's exactly it. Let's get Larry to make up. It's that thing of like, you know, you can only take so much from a Larry David. We've wasted Larry's time enough. Let him go down. Check his celebrity net worth, then you'll see that he truly is.
Starting point is 00:46:00 You know, when I hosted, great story about me. We can cut this out. We already did? No, when I host a great session about me we can cut this out we already did No, I when I hosted I had it was Sandler was in my trick monologue. I'm only telling you this is kind of similar where He's the audience member, but he's playing a goofy guy that he used to do So he was there that weekend he goes I'll come and we'll do that That'll be your monologue so I can worry about the 13 sketches that are about to bomb.
Starting point is 00:46:26 And so that morning, Saturday, they say, Adam was like, I got a water boy open that weekend big and he had to fly back to LA. He goes, I can't do it, pal. I was like, oh shit. So I couldn't cover it because it was his character. And I'm like, well, what's my monologue? And then we're like, okay, rehearsal.
Starting point is 00:46:41 And I'm like, and going, guys, I gotta get a monologue in one of the breaks. And they go, and everyone does just do standup. But I hadn't done it for a while and I definitely hadn't done a club or anything. So there's no practice, which you need a little. Even when we were at the 50th, I just did a set with Chris Rock and Nate Bergazzi
Starting point is 00:46:59 just for fun, because we were out having dinner. And they go, oh, Mulaney and Steve Martin and Martin Short were just here doing standup. They all came in, everyone did a set, just like everyone bumped. Super fun night, but I don't get to do that. So I just go, oh, I have this one in my act about a polar bear and about this other one.
Starting point is 00:47:13 And then they go, just do that. So the only time I rehearsed it was at dress or right before dress, you know, to try it. But I couldn't really remember it all. Then I had to sit in my dressing room and go, how does that one go? So scary, it went all right, but I know the monologue. It's all-
Starting point is 00:47:27 How come you didn't get them on cards? I got it, oh, because I had to tell cards what to put. And I just said, just forget it. Just put monkey, joke, polar bear. Oh, okay. And go to a commercial when I started fucking crying. I don't like stand-up either. I mean, honestly, if any time a show was canceled,
Starting point is 00:47:44 I was happy. You're happy, right? But if I go up and I'm killing it, I go, well, if any time a show was canceled, I was happy. You're happy, right? But if I go up and I'm killing, I go, well, this is kind of fun, but I never wanna go. And I don't like- I'm exactly the same way. I never wanna be in a de facto comedy competition,
Starting point is 00:47:54 go to the comedy store, there's 10 comics. I'm gonna try new stuff. They're doing their A stuff, lean into it, ah, you know. And I just don't like the people. You were one of the best tonight. I mean, why do I need that for? I'm just like you. Do you do corporates?
Starting point is 00:48:07 Do they call you to come in? No. They're fun. Somebody's got enough money. No, I don't get asked. Oh yeah. Really? I'm gonna talk to my people.
Starting point is 00:48:19 Have you ever been in a headlock by another adult male as an adult? Cause the CEO was drunk and had me at a corporate event. Hey, you know that you're a slutty fucking guy. It's funny you should ask me that because at the 50th, I was introduced to Paul McCartney. And I said to him, Has anyone ever,
Starting point is 00:48:42 No, I said to him, Has anyone ever punched you in the mouth? Instead of hello, we love all your albums. I said, let me ask you a question. Have you ever been hit in the face with a fist? Has anybody ever punched you? That's fucking great. And he must've loved it.
Starting point is 00:48:57 Oh wait, we were at dinner. What did he say? Yeah, the dinner. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You were sitting right next to Paul. Yeah. You were hilarious. He was a good laugher too.
Starting point is 00:49:05 Yeah. He was into it. I think he likes having these. He's a charmer. I mean, but what did he say after he said it? He just started laughing. No, he did. There was an incident.
Starting point is 00:49:12 There was an incident in his youth when he was like 13 or 14 and somebody headbutted him, he told me. He's so charming. There's something on YouTube, you can look it up, but McCartney's going into a nightclub with people. This is like within five years in LA. The doorman doesn't recognize him.
Starting point is 00:49:30 And they know you can't go. And then you hear Paul say, we've got to write more songs. We better go back to drawing, but we're not big enough. Oh, not famous enough. So anyway, I'm gonna ask him. I was sitting next to Chris Rock and I came late and I felt embarrassed, but I was 100% not invited.
Starting point is 00:49:46 Chris, I was meeting for dinner and he goes, just come here. And then I realized I was crashing at dinner. He was invited to or something, whatever. So anyway, I went in, Paul was very nice, whoever threw that thing, just like 10 people. But the funny part was I was sitting just where I could see kind of between, you guys are on the same side as me.
Starting point is 00:50:04 So I'm trying to crank my head between Chris and you and see Paul and here you guys, and Larry's killing. And then every time Paul gets to a story where he says something like, I told you, where he's like, you know, yesterday, the way I came up with it was one night when I was dreaming, the guy's like, who had potato skins? And then he leaves and I go, and then he's putting the shit down.
Starting point is 00:50:22 He goes, top off your water, top off. And I'm like, I'm trying to, and then he goes, I go, it's a quarter inch, we're topped off. And he's like, I got a little more in there off your water top off and I'm like I'm trying to and then he goes I go it's a quarter inch. We're topped off and he's like a little more than then he comes out And I go and he goes and that's how I came with yesterday I go, uh-huh, then he goes the last thing John ever said to me. Hey I'm like goddamn dude. I'm missing every this thing. I couldn't pay enough to hear Paul McCartney The dichotomy between how humble and liver-puddly he is and the genius of the music. We sat down for a plonk, John and I, like looking in a mirror.
Starting point is 00:50:51 And that's how we came up with Abbey Road. We just plonked. It's like, what the fuck? What about Lennon? What would he say? Well, John Lennon, John would John would be more nasal, you know. Paul was always one of those. Ringo's more like peace and love.
Starting point is 00:51:10 They were me brothers. They're me brothers, me brothers. They me brothers, peace and love. Can you say anything else? No, me brothers, me brothers. And then Paul's like this, and George is sort of langarious, sort of laid back.
Starting point is 00:51:23 They were the primary songwriters for me. They were my brothers, you know. Oh, we heard it. So anyway, I'm obsessed with them. This guy's too much. What's the bill for Kim Kardashian? I'm just trying to make you laugh because you came, you drove 300 miles this.
Starting point is 00:51:38 No, that was easy. Do that Kim Kardashian one. Kim Kardashian one? Oh, that's why I do John Lennon talking to Paul John from heaven because I want to hear them talk, you know. And you know, what happened to the big orange man, you know? Well, he's president again, but he was beat by another man, you know, named Joe Biden, you know, because wasn't he?
Starting point is 00:52:01 What about, but didn't Kanye West, what happened to him? We went, flew away, we don't know what happened to him. Wasn't he with a woman named Kim Kardashian? Wow, she doing, I'm doing the short version. I like that John knows a couple little things. They talk regularly. Pop references.
Starting point is 00:52:18 Well, you know, she's a nice girl, well, how does she make a living? Well, she takes pictures of her bottom. What's so special about her bottom? It's not a normal bottom. It's a bottom 2.0. It's like God made a family and attached a person as an afterthought. The whole family has big bottoms.
Starting point is 00:52:38 All of them are doing it, and if they fall on their backs, they're sort of like turtles. They can't get up again. They have to have turtle wranglers lift them up. The whole family's doing it. One gentleman got so frustrated, he became a woman. So that's a truncated version of it. You have a great sense of humor. Can you come back tomorrow?
Starting point is 00:52:58 Well, I love impressions. So fun. Me too. If I see someone- Love them. Yeah. Bill Hader was on my show and he was. Oh, he's so. Oh my God. Just, yeah. Did he do one of my bits, I think?
Starting point is 00:53:12 Burt and Kirk or Jimmy Stewart. Oh, he gave you credit. He did Burt and Kirk. Yeah. He gave you full credit. I know, I know. It was flattering how much he loves it. Cause I think he's absolutely brilliant, you know?
Starting point is 00:53:23 But yeah, he loves that Burton Kirk thing. I want you. I want you now. Now take it easy, son. We're just two men having fun. Don't keep bucking around like that. I only got so much play down there. You keep bucking around like that.
Starting point is 00:53:44 So great. I get up. So great. I want you. What are you gonna do, kill boy? Come on, I take you. So I do this for 20 minutes. I once had John Lovitz throw up in a parking garage cause I'll do it for 20 minutes. But because he was laughing so hard.
Starting point is 00:54:00 Because it goes on and on and on and on, you know. Shit. So I keep doing bits? No, we're doing good. I think we've wasted enough of his time. I mean, this is my current favorite. Do you want me to do it? Why not? Yeah, do one more.
Starting point is 00:54:12 This is Jimmy Stewart, which I think Conan did, but trying to come up with a new Jimmy Stewart thing is that someone's gonna perform oral sex on him and he does it as Jimmy Stewart's case. It's not X-rated. Okay, I know this one too. Yeah, all right. No, no, no, don't touch it.
Starting point is 00:54:29 I want, no, just slow down. Now I want you to slowly turn your head and look away. Yeah, yeah, that's it, just look away. And I want you to forget about it. Pretend you never saw it. Now slowly but ever slowly, turn your head back around and discover it again. That's it.
Starting point is 00:54:52 That's the look I want. Just discover it. You're, just consider it. Now slowly, you know, so that's my latest story. That's just hilarious. I've never done this main big song show. That's so funny. Discover it and consider it. Well, I have one where he leaves the house. Now I'm going to go
Starting point is 00:55:08 around the corner and get a soda pop and I want you to forget all about it. You never saw it. Then I'm going to come back and I want you to slowly turn and discover it again. Like it's brand new. Yeah. Yeah. No, no, don't touch it. Just think about it. I'll back the head up again. I'm gonna back up and go out in the hallway. So obviously I'll just go for 20 minutes,
Starting point is 00:55:38 but you're the greatest audience. Well, I love impressions. That's a good closure. I do too. It should be your closure. That's a fucking great one. I'm gonna edit these things together and release it as a special.
Starting point is 00:55:49 So funny, holy cow. Anything you need from us, Larry, you're all right. Oh no, I'm good. Thank you very much for coming here. You're just an amazing guest, and I don't know what to say other than. I did the best I could. You did great.
Starting point is 00:56:06 We all didn't wanna do this and we all did it. And I think I'm proud of us all. Did you wanna go? Yes. That's all I do at Jerry. How many podcasts are there? Over three million. Like over three million now?
Starting point is 00:56:21 No, honestly. No, I think there's three million. Yeah. Does that seem too long? Sounds like a I think there's three million. Yeah, because that seems too long. Sounds like a joke. There's three million podcasts in North America. I don't know, how does everyone do it? We Googled it and that was over three million. That was about a year ago.
Starting point is 00:56:34 So it's gotta be- Most don't get past 30 episodes. So they come in and out, you know, but I don't know how. Greg, here's our producer, how do they? It seems easy. It's kind of hard to do. Digital space is unlimited, that we can all just, you know. It feels like the easiest thing in the world.
Starting point is 00:56:51 So if you're an actor or if you're doing anything in showbiz and things are slow, you feel like you wanna do something, you know, like well. And then it's like when people used to watch The Kardashians, they wanted a reality show. They go, hey, I argue, I hate my family too. I yell at them in the kitchen, I could do this show. So that's what they think.
Starting point is 00:57:08 And then they go to a podcast, and it's a little trickier and tougher and a lot fizzle, but some stick around. It's a little bit to it. It's a new tech. So it's sort of like, you know, you do the talk show and you do the pre-interview and you have two minutes and they're cutting.
Starting point is 00:57:24 So this is just like us hanging out. So it's this new art form of like shooting the rehearsal, doing half-baked stuff. We don't have a script. I had a few questions. Right, it's good to have a day note. So it is fun. It can be fun, you know,
Starting point is 00:57:37 just because of the freedom of it. Yeah, and it's great that you're doing it together. Yeah. I think, yeah, we get along really well. Yeah, it's easier. And then if someone else, whoever we got here, one of us knows something about something. But we let them talk sometimes.
Starting point is 00:57:50 We let you talk a little bit. Yeah, I said a couple of things. Feel free to cut me out of the whole thing. We don't need too much from you. Well, I'd say I watch you on Conan and I noticed this morning just and I said, oh God, Larry loves to laugh. You know, like you're like maybe the funniest guy, whatever, let's just say,
Starting point is 00:58:08 he's arguably the funniest person in this generation, arguably. Last 300 years. You're in the conversation as the funniest person. So to make that guy laugh is just a pleasure. You heard the Conan what, podcast? Yeah, yeah. And you guys are having such a good time.
Starting point is 00:58:25 And I noticed, cause I haven't hung out with you a lot. I just said, Larry loves to laugh. Yeah. You know? And so that's why I just thought I'd do a few things. You know? All right.
Starting point is 00:58:36 By the way, what he did when I did Curve, and this is the last thing I'll say, you had to cut some stuff out and you called me. Cause very, it's very tough to call someone telling me how to cut something. It's rough. So he told me, and the funniest part was, I to call someone telling me I had to cut something. So he told me, and the funniest part was, I said, okay, well, I had a great time and thanks for putting me on there.
Starting point is 00:58:51 And then you felt guilty and you go, now I feel bad. And I go, well, I understand it. And they go, are you being sarcastic? I go, no, I know that these shows go long and we ad-lib forever and if you've got to take some stuff out and you go, all right, I'll try to put it back in. And I go, no, it's fine. And it turned into another episode.
Starting point is 00:59:08 So it was just funny to hear you feel bad that you had to call me, but it's hard to tell someone that. And a lot of people say, they never even told me. I'm like, it's hard to tell people. This, it is what it is. If it gets cut, it gets cut, but that was nice. The people who would design Seinfeld and Curb would have all that kind of emotions
Starting point is 00:59:24 because it's coming from all this humanism. Yeah, you're on both sides, but you know how it is. So that makes sense that you would suddenly feel bad because if you're a sensitive instrument. Once on Seinfeld, this guy I knew paid a lot of money to be an extra for charity and I inadvertently cut him out of the show and he had a party. He was going to have people over his house. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:49 Yeah. Yeah. All right. Okay. Thanks. Thanks, bud. This has been a presentation of Odyssey. Please follow, subscribe, leave a like or review.
Starting point is 00:59:59 All this stuff, smash that button, whatever it is, wherever you get your podcasts. Fly on the Wall is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Jenna Weiss Berman of Odyssey, and Heather Santoro. The show's lead producer is Greg Holtzman.

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