Handsome - G Flip asks about childhood career goals

Episode Date: June 24, 2025

G Flip is an incredible musician from Down Under, and now she's asking today's Handsome question about what the hosts wanted to be when they grew up! Plus knock knock jokes, a Mae Fact about dung beetles, and more!Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.comWatch Handsome on YouTubeThis is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Handsome via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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handsome pot. Chattin' with friends on the handsome pod. Cheers. Welcome to the handsome pod. It's me, your friend and host, Tegno Taro, sitting here with Fortune Feimster, me. And me, May Martin. Yeah. And Biggie, he's here too.

Is he? And Thomas, there he is. There he is. Oh, Biggie, Biggie flying on in on his bed. He's asleep now. Yeah, yeah, that is the life. Good to see you too. Oh yeah, good to see you.

We were supposed to be in person today and I'm sick. You're a little sicky poo. Yeah, man, I'm sick. It's so boring and no one cares. We care. We want you to be okay, but we do appreciate you not getting us sick. Right? Yeah, that's what I'm always thinking about.

Tell us about your sickness. Well, thanks. it's riveting. It's, we're talking a classic cold. I'm drinking a hot beverage out of, actually out of a mug that a handsome listener gave us at a live show. Oh. He says, a pineapple apart.

And there you go. Oh, I love it. That is a nice mug. Isn't it? It's my style of mug cause it's like, It's it's like, it's big, it's earthy. It's like, you know. That's good. That is really good.

Think of all of the things that our listeners have made and haven't been able to give to us, you know, because we get things sent to us, handed to us. Remember that woman tracked me down, ran down the airport in Austin to give me the biggie dead eyes. That's right. T-shirts.

Right. We had things crocheted for us. Yeah, somebody knitted, yeah, crocheted the guacamole and avocado bear. That, and then the, what are the things called when it's like in a wooden circle? Oh, like needle point. Needle point, you've had that?

Yeah. You are very, like. What are those things called? I don't know. In a wooden circle. You are very crafty. I never would have guessed needle point. Really? Really?

Yeah, you would have held me hostage for life trying to guess. I would have guessed wooden nickel. Wooden nickel, for sure. Mm hmm. That'd be my guess. What was that thing you guessed on celebrity will of fortune? How dare you? Well, how dare you?

It was what was it? What was the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life? It was the what? One of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life. It was not meant to be funny, Fortune Marie. It was the what? One of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life. It was not meant to be funny. Fortune Marie. It was so funny. What was the thing?

Do not embarrass me like this in front of our listeners. I'm talking about the exercise bike. Yes. Yes. Yes. Well. What was it? Mae, you have to Google it.

It's the greatest. They don't Google it. It was so obvious what it was, but what did you say it was? It was like riding an exercise bike or something. I suck at celebrity jeopardy so I can laugh. Well, you know, they give you just bits and pieces of the sentence or phrase and I chose crash. Crash. Crash. sentence or phrase and I chose crash crashing my exorcist bike.

Fortune Marie. I cried laughing at that. I had to stand by what I said. And you did. I did. I stood firm right there with Thomas Lennon and Nikki Glazer laughing at me. That was one of the best TV moments in a while. Crashing my ex'sist bike, that was my delivery. As it was coming out of my mouth, I was like,

this cannot possibly be the answer, but I didn't know what else could be the answer. And as soon as I realized it was exercise and not exorcist, yeah, it still made no sense, but made more sense than my exorcist bike. So so funny. That brought me a good tiggle. Thank you.

You are the worst fortune. How good is it that that moment is immortalized? Most people's embarrassing moments just live in their memories, but that is forever. That will forever exist. How do you know it was embarrassing? I was proud. That was a proud moment. Oh my gosh, crashing my exorcist.

I'll never play on Celebrity Jeopardy again, I'll tell you that. Why? Are you banned? No, no, I just was not great. I had a hard time with the buzzer. And I answered some just dumbass things. And the worst thing is we're playing for charity. Oh, God. So like you want to help people, you want to raise money,

you want to do what's right. And then it's like, oh, my gosh, I'm a buffoon representing your organization. And my sincerest apologies. I felt like such a failure chiming in with, uh, you know, crashing my exorcist bike. What the hell did I just say? Um, yeah. But you want them, you want them money regardless.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But it's all for a good cause. Could have gotten a more. That's all right. Thanks, I understand. Next time.

Yeah, I don't think there'll be a next time. I want you to go back on and then it's a similar clue and you're like, this time I'm not gonna fuck up and so you're like, exercise bike and you're like, it was actually exorcist bike. This time. Damn it. You got me.

What else, what's shaking? How's your mother, Fortune? She's doing all right. I just went to go visit her. So we had some nice chats. We found a bench. I love sitting on a bench. You're easy to please that way.

Honestly, I am. I just, I was in my hometown and it's such a cute little area and we just went to the park and sat and chatted for a while. She, um, went to Emory in Atlanta and met with a, a specialist to, you know, gave her, gave her some hope, which she was really happy about. That's amazing. Um, everybody else she had talked to kind of was, has been a little doom and gloom. gave her some hope, which she was really happy about. That's amazing. Everybody else she had talked to

kind of has been a little doom and gloom. And he basically said, you know, like, you gotta do three months of chemo before we can even begin to come up with a plan because we need to see how your body responds to it. And everybody's body is different in its response. So once you do that, you'll come back and then there's a lot of things, a lot of trials,

and a lot of whatever, and don't think about lifespan and numbers and just let's start this journey and see how it unfolds. Well, that's the epitome of a great bedside manner. Yeah, you know Yeah, yeah and just having that openness and I think it it's really something that Positivity that you get around you and that you feel and that it's all telling your body a message. Yeah. And yeah, I think that's really, really great. Yeah, so she had like a pep in her step when she called.

Great, great. That's amazing. And yeah, she said she was very happy she went and now she's gonna start this chemo journey. It's a road, but man, I'm glad that she found what sounds like one of the best places to go for what she has and then having a doctor with that kind of vibe and that news and. And he was like, you know, listen, I'm not going to sugar coat it.

It's a, you have, this is a tough, what you have is not great. You know, like this is a tough road. Um, but we'll just, we're just gonna do what, like you said, day by day, take it and, um, see what, what all we can do. You know, sometimes it is like you said, he didn't sugarcoat it. And I think that's, I mean, the vibe, obviously I didn't meet this guy, but the vibe sounds just really good

because of not sugarcoating it and because he's not doom and gloom and leaving that openness for reality leaving that openness for reality and that reality being a medical reality, but also an emotional reality. Like to leave that space open for you to kind of bounce between the two because it's gonna be an ongoing roller coaster.

It's not great, but here's what's positive about it. roller coaster. It's not great, but here's what's positive about it. And letting it be unwritten, the future, you know? Right. Yeah. Yeah. And apparently that's kind of the vibe of this Emory Winship, the whole program is a lot of people approach it, approach it, everything from a positive position of like attitude you know just a very good demeanor and attitude so she's definitely in a good place so happy happy about that and happy she feels feels the the oomph to fight and get through this she, I feel like she's gonna be,

she's gonna be really popular in the chemo space. Like she's gonna, like the nurses are gonna love her. She's gonna make friends. She will make the most of this terrible situation for sure. 100%. Yeah, well thanks for sharing it with us. Yeah, for sure. Thanks for asking.

So when'd you get back? Like two days ago. Okay, cool. I'll be kind of popping in and out of North Carolina a lot more, you know, just even if it's for a short visit, just why not? Yeah. How about you guys? What's up with y'all?

Well, I just got, I told Tig on a mini episode, but I went to the desert. And then I guess this is the Lord punishing me for going to the desert. I got a cold. And then... Is that what people usually leave the desert with is a cold? It doesn't seem right. Did you make out with strangers in the desert? Is that why you got a cold?

With a lizard and a strange ghost I met in Joshua Tree National Park. A strange ghost, not a normal one. You know what I found out? Dung beetles navigate using the Milky Way as their navigation system and they're the only animal that does that. May fact, may fact.

May fact and not the Milky Way candy bar. Fortune. I'm gonna sit this out for a second. You guys can't stop, won't stop. You can't stop that? I could, but do you want me to? So it's can stop, won't stop. That's right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Can stop, don't wanna stop. That's right. What about you Tig? What's up? Oh, what is up? Gosh.

Anyway, should we go to our question? Yes. Let's go to our question. Just go and let me think. If I'm honest, I had a bit of a weird day today Yes, let's go to our question. If I'm honest, I had a bit of a weird day today, but it's, yeah, it's good. Stephanie and I go on a walk every morning. Oh.

And we drop Max and Finn off and then we go on a walk and I don't know. I, you know how just something from your life sneaks up on you and then just wrestles you to the ground? Really? Yeah. Like from your past? Yeah. Just, I mean, not to fully go in neck deep into anything,

Not to fully go in neck deep into anything, but I think it's just, the gist of it is loving our kids so much, and it spun into a conversation of knowing that my father loved me and my brother so much, and he just wasn't really, so many factors in life made him not available or around and whatever. And it tripped me up when we were talking about it.

And I got so emotional. And I was saying, I've never been mad at my father. I've always just been sad or missed him or confused, through my childhood. But it's also through the eyes of being a parent that I know he meant well. And I know he loved me. And I understand his life. I understand his trajectory. I get

what happened, you know, for the most part. And then it just came back around to me understanding myself more and just hoping that in whatever ways that I fumble in life that my kids will feel that way. Not that this is born out of some huge fumble of mine, but like I said, I'm not trying to get neck deep into it, but it was so fascinating because it's a topic that typically does not trip me up. Right. Man, not typically does not trip me up, right?

man Not only trip me it got me on the walk and I went home and I started writing like crazy I mean, I started writing about my father. I started writing about my stepfather I started just I got into so much stuff because even though I was tremendously emotional, I was saying certain things. I was making jokes and Stephanie would start laughing so hard where she was like, oh my God. Just that juxtaposition of the joke on what I was talking

about and I was like, I just have to go home and like really get into this. And it was fascinating because it's been my whole day of and then Stephanie went and did something, came home and he was filling her in on it. And then I got emotional all over again. Oh, wow. It's just. Yeah. So but I'm I'm I'm good. And it's but it's been really, really fascinating. Yeah, it sounds like something was unplugged unexpectedly.

And then the fact that you, it's flowing out of you to write is, that's great. Well, and again, it was so born out of love for Max and Finn. And then, you know, I was telling Stephanie about this moment in my childhood that my father came to visit us at my grandmother's house. And he was kneeling on one knee,

and we were like eight and nine, and he had his arm around both of us. And he was just sobbing, saying, I love you guys so much. And Stephanie was like, wow. So he emoted like that. I was like, wow. So he emoted like that. I was like, oh yeah. He had no problem with crying about any of that stuff.

And this is a guy that walked around with a knife and a pistol in his cowboy boots. And that's not to say that's how everyone should be gearing up for the day. Yeah, it was just, I just never doubted his love. Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate First. Like you know to check that you've got

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Yeah, I mean, my parents divorced when I was six months. And he was the guy that my grandmother, my mother's mother didn't approve of. And he was the guy that my grandmother, my mother's mother didn't approve of. And when they split, they were young partiers. And two babies are born and they were in their 20s. And in the 70s, people weren't consciously uncoupling. It was very severed and not terribly open and a lot of complications in life.

Yeah. Your mom had full custody? Yeah, yeah. But we would see him every now and then. There was a lot, there was a lot there is a lot a lot a lot but I think losing my mother and then my stepfather and there's kind of backed up emotions I think in processing somebody else another parent who wasn't directly always in my life. And I kind of feel like I hit it today.

I mean, I've been sad before and stuff, but this was just like, not just sadness, it was like a real awakening. And like I said, my love for my kids cracked it open and really got, made me get in touch with his love for us. It's funny, we have so much fluency now around mental health and I feel like we have so much empathy for our parents' generation and our grandparents.

So it's tough, sometimes multiple feelings are existing at once because you so clearly see this like wounded person, but then also, you know how it's affected you and it's a tough thing to balance. Oh, yeah, it's really interesting. Like I feel like I did. I feel like I did like some sort of drug trip where I was like, I love everything and everyone and I get it. You know what I mean? I forgive and I hope you forgive me and I, you know, all of those things just hitting at once and it, you know, any sadness also felt just

good too. Think about like, like the generosity that you were showing him and your mom and everything and the love and in this circumstance, it's like there's no doubt that your kids for any minor fumble are going to have the same perspective. You're a three-man human being. For sure they will. Yeah. Yeah, I've been having that thing going through different things in my life right now where

it's made me understand what my parents were dealing with when they were my age. I thought they were so old when all their fractures were happening. And they were, I'm like, we were the same age. That's crazy to me. I'm like, yeah. You're the exact same age, right? The exact, yeah. My parents divorced at this, at the age I am right now.

Wow. And it just made me, when I realized that, I was just like, oh my God. Not that I was like, I never really held on to their divorce in that kind of like victim-y way, but it definitely just made me see them as like, oh, they just were doing the best they could. Right. For sure.

Yeah. And that was, was that in the eighties? That would have been 92. Oh, okay. You guys are having deep thoughts today. I like it. It's, you know, I gotta say this cold is making me think about all colds really. I wasn't having that thought today,

but Tig's journey made me think of that, that has been on my mind. Just seeing your parents in that more vulnerable way of like, you know, I don't know what I would have done in their position had I been three kids deep, no money, you know, like you make the decisions you make and try to not mess people up too much. Oh man, yeah. I've recently been encouraging my parents to drink water and then I was like, when did that happen? Like parenting? Yeah, like as a kid, it never crosses your mind that your parents need to drink more water.

Yeah. And are they doing it? I don't know. I'll check in next. I'll let you know. Their skin's glowing next time you see them. Yeah. They're like, it never occurred to us to drink water until you said something. Well, I think that was good for you. I think it's good to have these like releases too, you know? Well yeah, it's just, it's crazy when they, I mean, I am never walking down the sidewalk boo-hooing, you know?

It's not really the place where, and I'm not like a hard cry. I definitely, and that's what Stephanie was pointing out. She was like, wow, so your brother, your mother, and your dad, and yourself, you're all. Cryers. Yeah. And I'm like, yeah, fully. Is Stephanie not a crier? Not really.

I mean, she does for sure, but I beat her to it every time. Yeah. Every single time. I cry. I try to be stoic, but it just comes. The cancer in me is just like emoting right away. Yeah. And again, it's like when it hits you from behind, and I was like, oh, I'm about to cry,

which is what I said on the walk and somebody was like, oh, and I was like, wow, I'm a little surprised right now. But it was such a good release. Like I said, to sit down and just write and I told Stephanie, I was like, I don't know if this is for me or for the rest of the world or what, but I said to sit down and just write and I told Stephanie I was like, I don't know if this is for me Or for the rest of the world or what but I wrote about my father. I wrote about my stepfather I wrote about yeah, everything that came to my mind and all serious and jokes everything

That's your sweet spot though. Yeah, and the best thing is to write it just for you as if no one's ever gonna Hear it and then decide once it's written. But then you get the real juice out. Do you ever find yourself writing for the audience, or, and then back up, or are you always like, this is for me and I hope you come along? Sometimes, sometimes I feel like there's pressure to have a clear point of view on things for an

audience when I might not know how I feel about anything. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. I haven't, at my stand-up, I haven't dug crazy deep emotionally. There are clearly some things happening in my life right now that are going to require that. And I haven't begun that process and I will be interested to see what that looks like. So you are open to that? Yeah, I think there's some stuff I'll, you know, I'm not going to get crazy personal, but there will be things to share. But I don't know what that, I'm not gonna force it. I'm just gonna see as my life unfolds and evolves, what that looks like in terms of what I do talk about.

Well, and that ties into, you're doing it for yourself and you can't do it for the audience. Like even if the audience is like, give us all the details. Some aren't for them. Yeah, for sure. And they won't be. But yeah. And maybe all of them, maybe all isn't for them.

Right, yeah. It just goes back to what you're most comfortable with. Yeah. But I think like the reflection of big changes in life and headed into a new direction is of something to discuss at some point. Very relatable, I think, to so many people. Yeah, no doubt. Good times. Yeah, so I won't just be making just cooter jokes around here.

Don't you worry. What about charcuterie jokes? I'll still make cooter jokes for sure. Yeah, I guess. It's not, they're not just going away. No, you mean cooters or all jokes? Hopefully cooters are here to stay. Oh, Fortune Marie. Should we move on to our guest? You mean Cooters or Joes? Hopefully Cooters are here to stay.

Oh, Fortune Marie. Should we move on to our guest? Yeah, we should. Well, today's question asker is an awesome musician from Melbourne. Melbourne? But they say it... They don't say Melbourne. Melbourne. They don't say Melbourne don't say Melbourne. Melbourne. They don't say Melbourne? Do they?

They say Melbourne. Melbourne. But I don't wanna impress you guys with my Australian accent, like once again. Ooh, I have something for you, Fortune. Please. Try this, you as well, Mae. Rise up lights.

Oh my God. We- Rise up lights. Rise up lights. Oh my God. We rise up lines. I have the lines. Oh my God. Wait, I'm going to, I just want to Google sentences to practice Australian accent. Oh, what a keyboard is. Uh, fast quite with us. So was it really loud?

Are you serious? Yeah, we are a typewriter. We are dead serious, Mae. I couldn't hear it. Okay. They're just giving me- Eyes of Lanes. Jennifer Lopez.

That's a good one. Jennifer Lopez and her lip taint. Yeah. They're just giving me examples of like put a shrimp on the barbie and stuff. Put another shrimp on the barbie, mate. I can't, my accent just got worse. Let's introduce our question answer. We'll continue, we're not cutting that out. Okay, of course not. Okay, of course not. I'll go back and repeat myself so we can give our friend a proper introduction.

Our question asker for today is from Melbourne, Australia, whose platinum charting singles include Killing My Time and Drinking Too Much. Their album Drummer won the 2023 J Award for Australian Album of the Year. Wow. G Flip is asking today's question. Yeah. G Flip's so cool. I'm actually gonna be in a, I don't know if it's a secret,

but I'm in a music video of G Flip's. Seriously? Secret is out. You heard it here first on Hanzo. G Flip's like an amazing drummer, but I'm in a music video of G-Flips. Seriously? Yeah. Secret is out. You heard it here first on Handsome. G-Flips is like an amazing drummer, but also sings and plays guitar, and is just super rad and nice.

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Listen to The Big Flop wherever you get your podcasts. Yeah, just a rad, cool person. What are you gonna do in the music video? The thing that popped into my mind was Do you remember that Enrique Iglesias music video for hero that had it was I like the ones that are a big epic It was like I'm not naked in it I'm not watching. I love that song, Hero by Enrique. I can be a hero, baby.

I love it. Wow. Yeah, I'm the comedic relief. All the other gay people in the video are the sexy people with them, you know, paint tops on and then I come and I fuss at everyone and then we dance. We are all sexy to someone and we are also all terribly unsexy to others.

That's so true. That's so true. Because G-Flip, are they married? Krishel is G-Flip's partner from Selling Sunset. They're a very good looking couple. Oh my God. They are married. They are married. Yeah. And so, Krishel was there watching and I was like, I got to bring the sexy because the two of them are very good looking. So, I did my best to like do

the like smolder, you know. Well, yeah, we've seen that in photo shoots. Wait, with the eyes wide, it's a little scary. That was really scary. What sort of message are you sending? The eyes wide really. How about this? That's pretty good.

So you've already filmed it. I did. I bet it's coming out Pride Month. It's probably already out. Because we are in Pride Month. Almost at the end of it. Have we heard their question yet? No, we haven't. Okay, okay.

Because we have things to talk about. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Mm-hmm. With attention spans like ours, we had things to get to. What's up, handsome podcast? It's G Flip here. Huge fans of all of you, TIGMAY Fortune, love what you all do. And my little question is, when you were all younger, what did you want to be when you were older? And this is like before maybe we wanted to be in the entertainment industry, like when we're three, four, five years old.

Keeping it wholesome. So yeah, that's my little question and love all three of yours work. You're awesome. Aw, I feel like I sound just like G Flip when I talk. Yeah, yeah. What, when you're Australian? Yeah, pretty.

Do it again. Hello handsome. Hello, yeah. Pretty. Do it again? Hello, handsome. Hello, handsome. I'm a fan of all of yous. I mean, how come we rarely get anybody from Ireland? Or, yeah. We should get an Irish person to say, hey, hello, handsome. I'll have a question for you at the top of the morning. That was not bad.

No, it's better than my Australian accent for sure. But I feel like every other guest is Australian. I'm here in the Ireland, looking at the pretty grass and the rainbows and the pots of gold. And I'd really like to ask you a question. Where did fortune go? We're going to alienate ourselves from every country? I know we're going to see the numbers drop off. Yeah. Is there an Irish who can we ask Colin Farrell,

Jamie Dornan, Colin Farrell, Paul Mesle, Colin, Colin, Colin, Colin. Do you like that? Barry Keegan. Colin, Colin. Don't you worry. We'll get some Irish blood up in here. Knock, knock. Who's there? Come in.

Interrupting Irish. Interrupting Irish who? Club of the morning to you. Thank you. I think you came in a second too late. Really? Yeah. Wait, was there a delay? Yeah, I think there came in a second too late. Really? Uh-huh.

Wait, was there a delay? I thought I would- Yeah, I think there was a delay. I had finished and then you said it. Wow, this fight is getting nasty. Oh God, we have a good time. You know, we have a laugh. We have a laugh, don't we?

We have a laugh, we have a cough, we have a laugh. We have a laugh, don't we? We have a laugh, we have a cough, we have a cry. We're handsome. We have a lot of a cough and a cry. So when y'all were young, do you remember what you wanted to be? Do you? Do you, Mae? I wanted to be a boy. If I was a boy, even just for a day.

That would have been my theme song. If I was a boy, even just for a day. That would have been my theme song. Um, no, I think I, then the weird thing is I think from like a really young age, my mom told me I was going to be an actor or a comedian. You're going to be a boy. You're a boy, Mae. They were Irish. Yeah.

I think I, like outside of the entertainment industry, I don't know, I think I always because my dad would talk about being an actor when he was young. And like, I was always kind of it's like the opposite of most people like my parents were like, that's a legit job. You should do that. What about you guys? Because the ones people always say are like vets, astronauts. Yeah, for sure an astronaut was the go-to at my school. Really?

Firemen for the boys. Really? Yeah. All those blue collar jobs and then an astronaut. Yeah, or it would be like a teacher. A teacher, yeah. A teacher, yeah. Being a vet. Like, kids always want to be vets, but I think the reality of it, they would find quite depressing. It'd be very hard.

It'd be a hard job, for sure. But if you loved animals. Yeah. I wanted to be a vet. I mean, I wanted to be several different things, but I had this white terry cloth jacket. And whenever one of our cats or our dog needed ointment or something, I would put that terry cloth jacket on and I would apply the ointment.

Or if a goldfish died, I would put the jacket on. It looked like a vet jacket. And I would flush the goldfish died, I would put the jacket on. It looked like a vet jacket and I would flush the goldfish. I don't know that that's the appropriate thing to do. But it is what people would do. I don't know. Do you think a vet would do that? I don't. I don't think the vet was going back there and just flushing goldfish, but maybe.

I don't know. Depends on the plumbing. I also was interested in being an architect. Really? Yes. Like you were doing Lego and stuff? No, drawing plans out. Whoa. Yeah. I mean, I'm not saying they were good or, you know.

You were building a log cabin house. saying they were good or you know building a log cabin house like designing your dream home or like tree houses and stuff yeah I also think I was very and this might tie back to my childhood and a lot going on but I think I was of where I'm gonna live, like, gotta move out of here. I'm blowing this popsicle stand. Yeah, yeah, so I was always drawing floor plans. I was like, yeah, maybe I'll be an architect. Yeah. If they let kids actually design a city,

like, and be the architects, and do all the, it would be, there'd be slides in every house and like those poles that you slide down. Like Barbie's dream house. Yeah. Oh man, was that a dream? Yeah. What did you want to do Fortune? I'm trying to remember. I feel like I didn't have any goals when I was really young. I just wanted to be footloose and fancy free. Is that the fancy, you know what I'm saying? When was your most footloose and fancy free time

of your life? Because you- Probably like those young, young days. Kindergarten, I was- So you had already hit your dream. Oh yeah, I peaked. I was the most gorgeous I've ever been at five years old. My curls were popping.

Oh yeah. I have a picture of me in kindergarten with these luscious locks. And I was in my soccer cleats. I had a muscle tee on. Of course. And our kindergarten teacher as a activity for the class had us hammering nails. What? Yeah. Into a block. We were

hammering nails at five years old. With actual metal hammers? Actual giant hammers. Was this a qualified teacher? It was amazing. This teacher, he was a man. It was a man. He was a closeted gay man. We didn't know, but he came out a few years later. Good for him. He came out at school? Like did he? He stopped teaching, I think, and then came out

and then unfortunately passed away. He was incredible. Everyone wanted him as a teacher. And yeah, I don't remember much, but I do remember that. And so clearly at five, I wanted to be a construction worker. That was my dream. I wanted to be butch. I wanted to, you know, make sure the house was repaired and standing.

I think I would have, I did like to draw a lot too. I learned how to draw an apple. And I'm getting four chats. Thank you. I also drew Bart Simpson and an S with the, you know how you do three lines and then the diamond S? Nothing more satisfying. Tig, you know, let me talk. May knows this the diamond S. Nothing more satisfying. Tig, you know, let me.

May knows this kind of S. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I thought I was gonna be, I wasn't thinking about architect as much, but I thought I was gonna be a real artiste. Like you're gonna see my paintings. Do you still have that first apple you drew? I don't, see, there it is.

Oh, whoops. There it is. It could whoops. There it is. It could also be an eight. Yeah. But I thought I was learning how to do that. I was like, art is for me. I remember this neighbor of mine telling me when I was like in seventh grade,

she said, my mom thinks you're gonna be a comedian. Oh, wow. No way. Oh, it was so exhilarating. Yeah. I felt seen. Yeah. In a way I had not ever felt.

I was like, whoa, your mother thinks I'm gonna be a comedian? Yeah. And I was in seventh grade. And you know, it's a crazy twist to this story, is years later, my neighbor and her mother came to my show in Austin. And they told me that there were four kids in their family

and my friend was the oldest and she had a brother. I think her brother was the youngest of the four. Like he was probably two or three when, you know what I mean? Like, anyway. And when they came to my show, they told me that he was in the car with his mother as like a teenager or college age, something like that.

And they were listening to This American Life. And I came on, I think this is right, that I came on or I came on either This American Life or like local radius show playing comedy clips or whatever. And he said, oh man, I love Tig Notaro. And she said, well, you know, she was your neighbor. And he was like, no, he had no idea. Cause like, yeah, cause like I moved away,

people grew up, like we didn't, we weren't close over the years. And he never knew that I live four houses down from him funny That's yeah, and he had said that to his mother who said yeah that I should be a comedian or something like that So you must have been you must be funny around. Yeah, I Was I think you're hitting on the mom? Probably, you know Susan also whenever I would hear the Billy Joel song Were you hitting on the mom? Probably, you know. What's up, Susan?

Also, whenever I would hear the Billy Joel song, what is it, where he says, got a call from an old friend, we used to be real close. Something like, now he's giving standup routine in LA. What is that Billy Joel song? Every time I heard that line, I was like, it was electrifying. Yeah. Because I secretly wanted to be a comedian, but I also didn't understand the path of coming up on stage. But oh, the Billy Joel song is my life. And there's a line that his friend

moved out to the West Coast and is now giving standup routine in LA. Wow. That must be one of the only songs that references standup comedy. I know. I can't think of any other ones. What doesn't rhyme with anything? Yeah, comedy, vomity.

Yeah. Yeah. Dramedy, dramedy. Dramedy. Dramedy, there you go. Vomity, vomity. Vomity. Yeah, it did the vomity when dramedy. Dramedy. Dramedy, there you go. Vomity, vomity. Vomity. Yeah, it did it.

The- Vomity when you don't do well in comedy. You've bombed it. That's right. Stand-up and comedy were not on my radar for, till I think college maybe, or maybe late high school. Meaning you didn't follow it until then? Yeah, I didn't. You know, like people now will be like,

what stand-up albums do you listen to growing up? And I was like, I mean, I love like, Sorry Not Loud, but I didn't listen to like stand-up albums. So stand-up was not on my radar. Did people tell you you were funny though? In flashes. In flashes? Well, I would have like Pete's in it.

You're funny. I was pretty shy. And then I would have moments of like coming out of my shell and in those moments people would tell me I was funny. Yeah. So those were the flashes. But I don't think, I don't think you would have, if you would ask anyone I grew up with that they're like, maybe college people, but younger days I don't think they were like,

oh yeah, she's gonna be a comedian. Yeah. younger days, I don't think they were like, oh yeah, she's gonna be a comedian. Yeah, I remember. And maybe I've mentioned this before, but in my documentary that the documentary made about me, I the director is talking to my stepfather and he's talking about how he did not know that I was funny. You didn't share that side of yourself with him. You forgot to tell him that?

Yeah, I guess I didn't let him know. But I thought that was so funny and incredible. And he's like, yeah, I didn't realize Tig was funny. But anyway. Didn't you say once you got to like high school, you were like more thinking your path was going to be in the music business? Well I got into the music business.

I also wanted to be the fifth Beatle. When I used to listen to the Beatles when I was little, even though they had broken up and John Lennon had died, when I had their record on, I was like, man, that is my goal in life. I'm going to be the fifth Beatle. And it was just not gonna happen. I still don't think it's gonna happen. But yeah, I think a rock star, architect or vet.

I kinda thought I was gonna be like, just hitchhiking around writing poems and like having girlfriends and I just wanted to be like an itinerant poet. When you were really really young you thought about girls in that way? No I guess when I was really young, no, I mean, it was more about like, I definitely fantasized a lot about being alone when I was a kid, like about living in a tree house and just having animals as friends. Me too.

Yeah, and being on my own and in control of my own choices and stuff, which is weird because I'm not that good on my own now. Like I always have a friend staying with me. I like being around people, but yeah. But you still have critters all in your yard right? Do I ever have an illiterate pals? Yeah I know whenever I would see TV shows or movies where like a kid lived alone in the woods or had a tree house or was living off the land and best friends with raccoons. I was like, where do I sign? Yes, exactly. This is the life for me.

Like I'm gonna live off of berries, which is what I'm doing now. But even like when trees, like trees really speak to me. And I was always up in one, always climbing trees. And we were leaving Max and Finn's baseball game the other day and there was just this extraordinary tree. I was like, man Max look at that. He was like, I'm gonna climb it and I was like, please do. Yeah. Oh yeah. With his cleats on and everything and it was, I was a

little jealous. I used to love to get lost in the woods. Yes. But you know that moment where like you're, you're blissed out, you're on your own in the woods, like heart pounding and stuff. But then there's a moment where you're like, Oh, I'm too far. Like and you can't hear anyone anymore. And then you, and then you run back, you sprint back. No, no. In fact, I remember my stepfather,

there was this creek that was near our house. And I, oh my gosh, I used to go out into the woods with a clipboard and paper and I would take notes. I don't know what my job was that I was imagining. I was in like fourth grade and I would be taking notes and I'd be drawing pictures of different animal tracks I was seeing and all that kind of stuff. And my stepfather, I remember put on rubber boots, rubber steel tip boots to like walk down that

creek looking for me. Yeah, cause I was like so far gone. Yeah, Huckleberry Tig was nowhere to be found. Yeah. You had to write, you had to make your report. I don't know. I remember one time I was in a sewage ditch and I had leeches on my legs and I didn't know what they were.

Piers, Stand By Me. What's that? That movie Stand By Me. Oh, yeah, I didn't see that. But I had leeches on my legs. It was before we worried about ticks and stuff. Anything. Or Lyme disease.

We didn't care about anything back then. No sunscreen. I was smoking. To grow up by a creek, oh man. Did you? No, it was very urban always. It was in the city, right? Yeah, but I could walk to the cemetery and Mount Pleasant Cemetery was this big, it was really big. You could drive around it

and it was kind of the closest thing to nature near me. And so I would always go there with a, I'd go to the 7-Eleven and buy a gallon of chocolate milk. And me and my friend Nicole would go and sit by the graves and drink the shit out of that chocolate milk. Imagine the things these graves see. Or don't see. Yeah, true.

I remember one time I was in a graveyard, I was on tour and I passed this graveyard and I was like, I'm gonna wander around. And I went into the graveyard and I saw this tombstone that had birthday decorations all around it and just like this celebratory vibe. And it was so, stopped me in my tracks. Stopped me in my tracks.

What about those big mausoleums? Like, imagine you die and you have a big Gothichic, like, mausoleum built, a big little... I don't think I'd want to be in one of those. No? I don't think so. I'd feel claustrophobic. You think you're claustrophobic. Guys, I keep making jokes that suck and then I...

Let's hear it again. Let's hear it again. There's nothing better than a repeated joke. I missed it. Okay it okay you said I don't think I want to be in the mall and I said what about a wasp wait okay I don't get it I don't think I want a beat Oh, oh, oh. Okay. I don't think I want to be in one of those. What about a wasp? Oh my gosh, Mae, you're on fire.

It is better now that you've told us. I'm telling you, I have always been destined to be a comedian. You have to write that down. Oh, God. You should put the answer that into something. I have to- I can't really get down. This isn't from my childhood, but I did this as an adult and I felt like a child

and it was so freeing and I cannot encourage people enough to do this. When I lived in Austin, my first girlfriend and I, she's an incredible musician. I play a little drums, a little guitar. Sure. Yeah, you do. Rock star. I told her that I had always had a fantasy

of taking my drum set in the middle of the night and setting it up in the middle of a golf course and just playing and people not knowing where the drums are coming from because who's going to be on a golf course in the middle of the night? Right. No one. So we drive the drum set out there, set it, I mean like, we did it.

We did it. Yeah. We haul the drum set out into, you know, piece by piece out into the middle of the golf course. She brings her French horn, which she jammed on. And we, I played drums, she played French horn, and we just went nuts. We were like so free. We were laughing.

We knew nobody was going to catch us. Nobody knew where it was coming from. And it was, I felt like a child. That's incredible. Yeah. Also, what would you do? Like if you did catch two people doing that? I don't think we'd get in a lot of trouble. You get out of your house and get those drones.

It was a public golf course. I can't remember the name of it in Austin, but it's right there in the middle of, I don't know, maybe near Hyde Park, whatever neighborhood that is. If you name of it in Austin, but it's right there in the middle of, I don't know, maybe near Hyde Park, whatever neighborhood that is. If you're a listener in Austin, yeah, my girlfriend and I went and set up in the middle of the night and just rocked it.

So spontaneous. I bet someone listening to this is gonna be like, oh my God, that's what that was. Like they heard this French horn. I don't know. God that's what that was like they heard this French horn and know it. Oh she has a French horn what a specific instrument. Oh my god she played the tuba she played the zither banjo piano drums guitar. everything we, I don't know. May Marie. Can you explain it again?

Please. One more joke. Dick Van Dyke is he's always, you know, he wears, oh, in Chitty Chitty Bank or Mary Poppett. He's got a drum. He's got a horn. He's got another good one. And write this down. Bank or Mary Poppins. Okay. He's got a drum, he's got a horn. He's got a harmonica. No, that's another good one.

And write this down. No, that's a good reference. So, because of Dick Van Dyke, I've got wanna be. Oh my God, also. What'd you call me? Also, my ex that I did that with, posted a video online of her one man band. She did the whole clanky, clanky, strum, strum, accordion, harmonica, everything.

So the dick man bag joke was a real winner. It was on point. Should we get to our answer here? Yeah, I just wanted to say that that Spice Girls song, Wanna Be, I could do Wanna Wasp. Anyways. Oh. Let's hear G-Flips. No, no, no, explain that.

Let's stop for a minute. Think about this. I would like to learn how to play the banjo. That's really hard. The banjo is harder than the guitar. Oh. Biggie. Biggie. Biggie. Biggie's up from his nap.

He just wanted to say hi. Hi, Biggie. Let me see that face. Okay. There he is. There he is. Every time I can't believe that is a real face. And the tongue, he got a little haircut.

The tongue hanging out. What a guy. Don't show us his privates this time though, okay? Are we looking alike? Yeah, kind of. Put your tongue out. There we are. I see it. Look at that.

Yeah, twins. He just wanted to say hi to his handsome friends. Oh my God, that is insane that that face exists on this planet. Oh my God, that is insane that that face exists on this planet. I feel like I don't wanna overdo them and make people get tired of them, but I feel like his face makes people happy and they should stay home.

Yeah, nobody's gonna get sick of that face. That's what I thought. Thank you for letting me answer this. If they are, serial killer. That's a serial killer. Yeah. Yeah. Should we hear the answer?

And my answer to that question of mine is I was dead set on being a taxi driver. I love love cars, still love cars. And I just wanted to drive people around and just chat to random folks every day. And yeah, it was real keen on being a taxi driver, which I guess if the music fails, I can always go back to my early dreams. You know what would have been a good kind of taxi cab driver? Remember that show Taxi Cab Confessions? Oh yeah. If that made anyone want to be a taxi driver.

Yeah. I believe it because the the hot goss that was happening in those taxis was pretty exciting. Yeah. Also, that's really interesting to love cars and the go-to is taxi cab driver. Like why not car sales person or race car driver? Because they want to chat with people, I guess. Yeah, they love to chat.

Yeah, I guess. Born to chat just like you Tig. Yeah, born to chat with people, I guess. Yeah, they love to chat. Yeah, I guess. Born to chat, just like you, Tig. Yeah, born to chat, girl. You know, I have an ex with a tattoo, BTC, born to chat. Really? Thanks for the amazing question. Yeah. Yes, G Flip, we appreciate it.

That was fun to reminisce about childhood, and I think it tied in nicely with that big parental intro. Yes, absolutely. I really, I hope I get to meet G Flip and Crenshell soon. Oh, I'm sure you will. All in good time. All in good time. Yeah, anybody have anything going on?

I feel like fortune isn't doing anything. I sure do have some things going on. I'm on tour, you guys. I'll be at the Thunder Valley Casino Resort in Lincoln, California on June 27th. And then taking a little time off in July, which is nice. And I'll be in Edmonton with Mateo Lane in July. And then San Antonio, Houston, Norfolk, Virginia, Richmond,

DC, Portland, Maine, and Boston, among many other dates that are coming. Can I tell you something really ridiculous? Please. Every time. And, you know, obviously Thomas edits things nicely, so it sounds all clean and like we're chiming in right away and people don't realize that I am always slowly mentioning my tour dates.

Yeah, you're Googling them. Well, I have been doing that by pulling up my calendar and going through each month and looking for shows that I have and it just dawned on me the other day that I could pull up my tour dates on my website. And this is the first time I'll be doing this. So anytime you've heard me rattle off dates, it has been an ordeal for me. And I don't appreciate that nobody has helped me with that. And you just let me struggle. That's right. Oh, and people check out season two of FUBAR that's streaming on Netflix right now.

I play a senior agent. How dare you interrupt me? I'm sorry. Pew pew! Pew pew pew pew! I will be live and also in concert August 17th in West Ampton Beach New York and then August 23rd in Provincetown Massachusetts two shows first one is sold out and I have not checked on the second one in weeks so for your sake I hope

there's some tickets left for the second show. Also go to Tignotaro.com for any Largo or dynasty typewriter shows in Los Angeles. I think that's it. What about you, Mae? I think I don't have much going on. I think check out my Instagram. I've always got shows in LA at Largo and dynasty typewriter, but I think I'm just chilling out. So check out. Nothing wrong with that. Yeah, check out Feel Good on Netflix,

or if you listen to music, you might like to listen to some of mine on Spotify. Some great tunes that Mae's got going on. Thanks. Yeah, every now and then something will pop up on Instagram and I'm like, that's a good tune. Thank you. That is a good tune.

I love that. Yeah, me too. Nothing wrong with hearing a good tune. And May, you say you're not up to much, but pack up a drum set and go out into the middle of a golf course and hit it. How fun does that sound? That sounds perfect to me. Yeah.

Yeah. All right. Well, please subscribe to the podcast, the audio version and YouTube and also send your favorite episodes to friends and loved ones and help us build this very handsome community. Until next time, what do you say? Let's keep it handsome. Handsome. Yeah, handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, May Martin, Tig Notaro and Fortune Feimster.

The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Ouellette. Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com and please follow us on social media at handsome pod. What a podcast. What a podcast! What a podcast! What a podcast! That was a hate gun podcast. Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate First. Like you know to check some shops for souvenirs before heading home from that big overseas trip. Don't forget to get a present for your pet sitter.

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