Leave A Message with Ally & G - 63 - You've Been Punk'd! I've Cheated On You...

Episode Date: May 14, 2025

The sun is out, we have a new Pope and - most importantly - Ally has new jeans... welcome to this weeks episode of Leave A Message! We've all heard of buyers remorse... but what about post-returns remorse? When one Gally's first post-break-up Hinge date ends earlier than she would have liked... is she right to regret ending things with her ex? Or, maybe, the dating world is just a pile of disappointment. And... has an April Fools Day prank ever gone so wrong that you ended up uncovering a full history of infidelity? Well, no matter how you find out the dirty truth, it's always better to know than to not! Want to be a part of the group chat and featured on the pod? Send your voice note to ⁠⁠⁠https://wa.me/message/LLWFXNK4YXMHE1⁠⁠⁠ (and please, don’t leave out ANY of the juicy details). NOTICE: Any advice provided in this podcast does not, and is not intended to, constitute professional advice or guidance; all information, content and materials presented are for entertainment purposes only. Any injury, damage or loss that may result from the consumption of this podcast is at the sole responsibility and risk of the listener. Follow Ally & G Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠@allyandg⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠@allyandg⁠⁠⁠ YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠@allyandg Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Instacart. Groceries that over-deliver. What about your jeans? No, no, give hashtag gift from my sister. Oh, hashtag thank you sister. Hashtag good gifting. Yeah, I just wore them today because they were the first thing I saw. Really good. But I would recommend. Where are they from?

Tommy. Who are they? Yeah. Are they Spanish? I think the tag said 160. But for a good pair of jeans that you're going to wear all the time, I do think it's worth it. And I used to be a bit like this.

People really begrudge spending money on jeans, but we'll spend stupid money on a top or whatever. And it's like, it's actually all like a dress that you wear once. Or spend money on like 10 items because it feels like value for money. But then those items just become things that you never wear or do you know what I mean? Or that don't last. And I really do think investing and I haven't done this. Like I really think I need to buy some really good basic like skims tops. I don't have them. I might not all shit from Zara and Bershka. I wear them every day. That's my uniform. Just buy the good ones and you'll buy the ones.

What is it? Buy cheap, buy twice. Buy cheap, buy twice. I believe that is the saying. So, thank you. That's a bit of enlightenment for you. Over the weekend, I don't know why I was thinking about this, but I was thinking our rhetoric must change about aging. We're putting out a really negative stereotype and I disagree

with everything we've ever said on the matter. Well, it's so funny because I was talking to my mom about it this weekend about like in my highest elevated self, I'm gassed to be 30. I really feel like this year last year is when I really kind of, you know, figured out who I am and shit that matters, shit that doesn't matter. Like I really, really think that that is what the biggest beauty of aging is like, you know, really getting it. But when you detach from your highest elevated self, it's really easy to just like spiral into like societal thinking of, oh my God, you're going to be 30.

Life finishes and you have to have all these boxes ticked and you have to have achieved X, Y, Z. And I just think, actually, no, like I won't buy into it. I won't even jest because I just think like it's way too easy. Oh, she won't even jest, guys. I won't jest. I will not jest. It's so easy, especially for me. It's so easy for me to be like, oh, I'm alone. I'm so old and alone. I'm never going to find love. It's so boring. Like you've got so much life ahead of you. Anyone could get hit by a bus tomorrow.

And aging is a gift. Like a beautiful gift. And I'm not going to let society tell us that we are less than because we haven't achieved the things they say we should achieve by 30. Also, I genuinely do believe guys, and I'm not saying this from a narcissistic, cocky place. I genuinely think I look better now than I did at 21, 22, 25. Obviously. I genuinely believe that, and I know everyone slagged Kate Wintour. But not just look better, like feel better. No, no, but as in like so much of the trope of aging is like, oh, well, you're haggard.

I think I look better a little bit haggard. I don't look haggard. But do you know what I mean? Like, I think I look better older because like you grow into yourself. Yeah, I mean, I think we could have this conversation when we actually look haggard at 50. Like, I feel like you say it's not. I know, but this is what I mean. I think like even at 30 people- Like, is that you're in your like prime now? Yes, but people think their prime is 22 is what I'm trying to say. Yeah, no, it's not. It's not. I really think there is this whole thing about by the time you're 30, you should have like X, Y, Z

and you should panic if you don't because you've got a body clock and like all of this stuff and I just think I'll bore off. Like actually bore off. My body clock runs out before I've done any of those things then so be it. Do you know what I mean? Like I don't think you can spend your days worrying.

No, no. And not just enjoying. It's just so funny because I was thinking about like, you know, I'm not even turning 30 till December guys. It's just like so premature. Basically got a whole year. But do you know what I mean? No one's planning Christmas presents yet, are they? But I was thinking about on the eve of my 20th birthday, how I felt versus like how

I can imagine I will feel on the eve of my 30th. If you gave me, I don't know, a magic pill that would turn back the time 10 years would I do it? No fucking way. Absolutely no way. You couldn't pay me to be 20. No way. Your 20s and listen, I'm sure that your 30s bring a whole new set of challenges and like struggles, but that is life. Yeah. But the things that you go through in your 20s are so actually isolating. I think that that is that it's so like chaotic. I don't know why 20, your 20s just feels perpetually like you really are in this washing machine. Were you learning so much when you're still learning yourself?

Like that is a lot. And I think by 30, you understand yourself so much more. So even the things that you're learning, you have a really solid like anchor in yourself. Yeah. And that's such a beautiful thing. Like, and it just takes, it takes 30 years. Yeah. Well, and also it takes a lot to detach yourself from what you think you want and what you really want. Yeah. Because a lot of what you think you want to have achieved by 30 is not things that you deem to be important. That's probably why you haven't prioritized them and why you haven't done it yet. Like, it's really easy for me to use a relationship as an example, but like, that's not my priority

right now, therefore I'm not doing it. So the only reason I would ever panic about that is because someone told me that's something I should do in half. Do you know what I mean? And it's like, take so long to stop and think about what do I actually care about achieving this year? Not by the time I'm 30, not by the time I'm 40, but like right now, as I am, what do I actually care about? It generally might be reading a book cover to cover. Do you know what I mean? Like it doesn't have to be having a house, a mortgage, a dog, a kid, a boyfriend, a work or whatever. Like it doesn't have to be any a house, a mortgage, a dog, a kid, a boyfriend, a work or whatever. Like it doesn't have to be any of that.

And you just think it does because everyone tells you it does. It's crazy. It's crazy. We've just been thinking about that a lot recently because Al's getting older. As if I'm not aging with that. I said to her, luckily for you babe, I'll always go through it first. I'm jealous. No, I think it's better this way, Ram.

I'm desperate to let my 20s go. Desperate, desperate, desperate. Shall we intro? Yes. Shut up, you old hag. Sure thing. Welcome to Leave A Message. You do it this week.

Welcome to Leave A Message. Thank you so much for being here. This actually isn't really a podcast for advice, although we freely give it. I would say this is a podcast for advice. I don't know the advice. Okay. Always. Opinions maybe.

Opinions, yeah. Sometimes we change our mind a lot. That's a great example. We fleet. Yes. Sometimes we're scared of aging, sometimes we're joyful for it. You never know what you're going to get basically, and that is the joy of leaving a message.

This is the podcast where we listen to your voice notes sent in by listeners. So if you're listening and you think I could send in a voice note then please do. The number is in our bio I believe right on there. Or the link, the link. The link, the number. Yeah. Save it in your phone so whenever anything happens and every week we name the galleys. So this week the galleys will be called. Will the galleys be called this week? What is the girl in 13 going on 30 called? I don't know who it is, but she's Jennifer Garner. Let's have Jennifer. Jennifer. Hi galleys. I've just remembered a story that happened last year. So a friend of a friend, not naming names obviously, and my friend grew up getting their nails done, like at a nail shop. And then it was the first of April and they were

joking about April Fools prank. I think someone brought up the conversation. Anyways with the girls, the friend of the friend said do you want to know what would be really funny if I went home to her boyfriends that night and said can you just explain to me why I was in the nail shop and there was a girl next to me getting messages off you and the lock screen was a photo of you and they thought it was hilarious and they thought oh my god he's gonna be like so confused like what on earth? Like what? So they finished getting their nails done, they drove home, dropped the friend of the

friend off and she went in to her boyfriend's and like apparently she played it blind as well she was so like off with him when she first went in and everything. And then there was that in bed and she said it, said like explained to me da da da, expecting him to be like what? Like so confused. He looked dead in the fucking eye and said, I know, I'm sorry. Sorry. What do you mean I know I'm sorry? I honestly can't even imagine how she felt in that moment and he said yeah I have been seeing someone for nine months Nine months?

Nine months! They'd been on holiday, we met the family, they'd been on nights away and days out, she thought he was at work! That poor girl turns out the dirty little rat was actually doing it. So yeah, be careful when you're doing your apple fools girlies. Obviously don't get me wrong, horrific. Why would he give up his information so fast? Maybe he was a bit like ready to be caught. Maybe. Maybe the double life of nine months was getting too much.

Because like you would have thought he would have put up a bit of a fight. Also, like are they in such close proximity that you know they're going to be at the same nail shop? Yeah, it was me. That is mad. Would you not be like, no, like obviously just give it one try. Normally they lie through their teeth normally and it takes you so long. You know when you got receipts but you don't give them straight away, like you know, like you've got screenshots, whatever and you're like, I'm just going to give you a chance to tell me the truth and they don't, they lie to your face and you think, I know you're lying. And then you give the receipts and then that's

normally when they crumble. And he's just straight off the bat. He apple crumbled straight away. Sorry, the coincidence of that is actually cruel. Like why has the universe done that to her? Why has it given her that stroke of brilliance for April Fools and then done that? Well, I actually think in a sick and twisted way. It's a good thing. Yeah. Of course. You want to know.

Maybe the universe was telling you. The universe put a seed in your mind. Or maybe subconsciously, like some Derren Brown shit. You actually had really like had an inkling of cheating on you. And then you were using April Fools as like... I actually think April Fools is really stupid. I hate April Fools. Every year I'm like, I think it's really dumb.

Well also, I just think everyone posts shit stuff on Instagram every year. It's like everyone knows this is a joke. We don't fool for it anymore. It's not funny. Sometimes like in my personal life, I really might forget though that it's the first of April and I think I could get got. Me too, but what are you going to, like how? What are you going to do?

Well, the classic one obviously is telling your boyfriend you're pregnant. That's a good one. Never done that actually. Have you not? Never done that. It's a bit cruel as you get older. It's not like, what if they're gassed and you're like, fuck. What if he's like, you've got to terminate?

I'd be like. What if he's like, you've got to keep it baby. You'll like... What if he's like, you've got to keep it, baby? You'll be like, well, there isn't one to keep. I was joking, you fool. I think now, let's not roll the dice. You can't play with that now. I think that's a no. I'm not really, you know this about me.

I'm not really a pranker. I don't enjoy a prank. I just think it's a low form of wit. I don't like it. I just think... I love a good prank. It's a little bit mean. A prank. It's a little bit mean. No, but if

they're really clever, it can be very, very funny. Yeah. I love to. I guess I can fuck with when Ant and Dec do like get out my ear. Yeah. Like that's hilarious. Like that is the epitome of a good prank. Yeah. Especially when they had it done to them on their last ever show when they were in that, like, I just thought it's hilarious. Yeah. God, I just don't love it. It makes me feel uneasy. I can't believe that.

You've just been shocked to your core. I just can't believe. Imagine you make a lot of it all like that and you're like, I know everything. And he's like, I'm sorry. What is everything? The thing I will never ever, ever, ever, ever get my head around is how people cheat. Well, this is the thing, especially for that. No, I just think the emotional energy, you could have written a book to be honest with you, if you put that amount of energy into something worthwhile.

A PhD, cured cancer. Do you know what I mean? What are you doing? What are you doing? Spend your time elsewhere, have other hobbies. It's disgusting. It's amazing. It's a waste of resources actually.

Agree. Like you should be a spy. Why are you wasting your time with Sandra down the road? God, 100%. Do better. 100%. That's like all these people who live like full double lives. I just think MI5 missed out. Why are you wasting your time with Sandra down the road? Oh my god, 100%. Do better. 100%. That's like all these people who live like full double lives, they're just like, MI5

missed out. You've got big scales here and you're wasting them by just getting what? Your dick wet. Disgusting. Literally. It's actually revolting. I hate them. Wow.

Oh my god, that poor girl. I would think about that daily. I will think about her daily. And I tread with caution. She's right, tread with caution on your pranks. Because you might find things you don't want to find. I agree. Listen, when you go looking, girls,

when you go digging, you'll find something. Oh, you can find something. You can find anything. Everyone can find something. Something, totally. Something, totally. Be careful. Be careful.

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Hi, gallies. I need some moral support, slash worth of wisdom, slash reassurance that being single does get better. And I feel like you're going gonna say that it doesn't but basically my boyfriend and I have two years break up a few months ago and I recently got back on hinge and I saw him on hinge I was like it's okay he's out out there to living his life like I'm okay I was the one who broke up with him by the way like it was kind kind of just... I'd outgrown the relationship. Socially, we were very different people and it made kind of being together quite difficult

because I'm a big like advocate, like I wanted him to meet my friends and blah blah blah blah. Anyway, I had a hinged date over last night and oh my god, it was the worst experience ever. I think I should have checked his ID maybe because he said he was 23. I think he was maybe 20, maybe 19. I know that doesn't sound like much of a difference to you guys, but it is. And we were kissing.

By the way, he wanted to watch the 1% Club with Lee Mack, which was really rogue. And we were kissing and then he came, I'm sorry, he finished in his trousers and then was like, sorry, I just need to pre-cum to be able to like last longer. And I was like, okay. And then he was like, okay, just give me a few minutes. And I was like, I'm not gonna lie, I'm not really into this. Can you go home? And then he went home. And that was that. And I tied myself up because I was like, it was my first time like getting back out there since the breakup. And that is what God gives me. myself up because I was like, it was my first time getting back out there since the breakup and that is what God gives me. Are you joking me?

Also, I forgot how small penises could be. So now I really miss my ex boyfriend and I don't know if I miss him or if I just miss his penis. I imagine I just miss his massive, massive penis. And now I'm swearing off all men. I don't want a man to look at me in the eye because how dare you have the audacity to come to my house, take away my Friday evening to give me absolutely nothing. My vagina may as well have not been in the room with us.

Are you joking? Oh, sister. No, Habibi. You are in a world of pain over there. Right. I've got a lot to say on this as a fellow single sister. Being single, to answer your question, being single does get better, but you have to make being single work for you.

Like I am the happiest that I have been in years and I am also single. I don't know that that's because I'm single. It's just because I'm able to prioritize genuinely what works for me. And you have to understand that people let you down all the time and that's going to happen in dating as well. You are going to be disappointed and you have to really date based on what you desire from that date. So like, if it's sex, then actually you might want to have some conversations prior about what kind of sex they like, what kind of sex you might have. If it's not, yeah, yeah, literally. Because if that's what you want, sign up for

that. Don't, you know, be with someone that's going to like, you know, come in their pants and leave. It's not ideal. So like, you can't always know that, of course, but you could do a bit of troubleshooting, like get sexy before if that's what you're looking for. If you're looking for good conversation, then chat with someone a lot before and then just go for it like a drink or meet them for a coffee and a walk. Like you, you just have to be really realistic with what you want from dating. And if it is to find another partner, it's a numbers game, girls. Like, you've just got a date and you've got to expect that some of them are going to be shit

and some of them are going to be great and some penises are going to be big and some are going to be small. And it is just luck of the draw. So you just, I think the way to enjoy being single, especially when you're dating, is to date with either specific intent or almost no intent at all, because then you're not disappointed and it just is what it is. It might be that you really fancy a Friday night out, so then go out, but if you don't, don't date. You don't have to date. Be home and watch the 1% club alone and don't let that person take your Friday night. But if

you're in the mood, then accept that it's a roll of the dice and it might be a really good Friday night and it might be a shit one and you get another one next week, you go again. Do you know what I mean? But it does get better. I think if you just go on every willy nilly day that comes your way, you will definitely be disappointed. Million percent.

At least once. Of course. More than once. 100%. The caliber as, listen, I'm talking secondhand here, I can only see through her eyes. It's not great out there. So if you're expecting a high caliber from every date, and you're not really sure what you want, you don't actually know what's going to fill your hole, sorry, excuse the pun. But I mean, like, what kind of cup do you need filled? Because if you're just

like, Oh, yeah, I just gonna, but with no intention behind which cup. Then let it be good and let it be bad, because it will be both. And actually sometimes, especially in the beginning, like, baby, you've only been single two months, like you just need to get a few under your belt. Let them be shit. Like I remember the first person I had sex with,

like would I race back to have that sex again? Absolutely not. But I just needed to know that I could like be a single entity who could shag other people other than my ex. Do you know what I mean? I just needed to know that I could like be a single entity who could shag other people other than my ex. Do you know what I mean? I just needed to know that. And that's what I like used that date for. Do you know what I mean? And it wasn't like the best sex of my life. And it wasn't all these crazy stories. I think so much pressure is put on like single women to be like, well, if you're single, you might like at least give us all the crazy stories and be having an amazing time and we're all living vicariously through you. It's like,

sometimes there's not things to live vicariously through. Sometimes I'm just at home in my pajamas and I don't even fancy a date. Sometimes I'm having a really bad shag. Like, I don't know what it's going to be. And you need to just take the pressure off of like, single is all fun and single is amazing. And because it's good and it's bad as relationships are. Do you know what I mean? You get the good of a relationship and the bad of a relationship. But I think it does get better

because it gets easier to be single because you do know what you want and you do know where you need to be filled up and you are more picky. Like you would have noticed, if you'd have chatted to that guy for a bit longer, you probably would have noticed he wasn't gonna be your cup of tea.

Do you know what I mean? Or that he felt young or like whatever. Also I think, and I think this is something that I've really noticed in G is that as she said like you've only been out of a relationship too much. I think it's easy when you come out to like latch onto like, okay, well what's next? What's next? What's next? And I think that's something that you've done really like, and this is testament to the fact that she is the best person she's been in the last however many years, is just like sitting in the singleness as if it's a relationship status, like for real. What do you need? What can you take away from this period of time that actually,

maybe I don't know, maybe you will go into something else with a completely different outlook on like a relationship or who you are or like, there will be something that this time can gift you that nothing else. I, or like, there will be something that this time can gift you, that nothing else. I mean, like, And it really is a gift. I really believe it is a gift because, like, I'm incredibly happy for someone like you that found your person young, but I'm also so sad that you don't get these times.

Totally. As you would be sad that I haven't met the love of my life at 21. Do you know what I mean? Like, there's things to take from everything. So you have to, yeah, you have to see it as like a huge gift, a huge gift for time to really get to know you and to be like, you could just explore, just explore and take away any pressure on it being like good or bad because you have to start going on dates after X amount of time.

Yes. It's like, allow the ebb and flow. This many dates a month. Like who gives a fuck? I haven't dated in months. Months. This year, I haven't been on a date because I just, I'm not really in the mood to be honest and I know I will be again. So then I'll date.

Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Don't pressure yourself to be like, I know I need to. You don't need to do anything. You need to do what's good for you. So if that's put you off for a sec, let it put you off. Be off. Be off them all because then someone will come in and you'll see something or you'll be bored

in your download hinge and then you'll be on again. And then it might turn off again. Yeah. That's the joy. That's genuinely what part of the gift is that you are allowed to switch off. But this is what I think is interesting is that like people expect that in relationships, the ebb and the flow and the good and the bad and the like ups and the downs and that it's all okay within the confines of a relationship. But for some reason people have this vision of singledom as like this vacuum of space that has to be filled.

Well, that's why you have to see your singledom as your relationship status, like Al said, because it's like people see a relationship status as security. So see your singledom, see yourself as security. Like the security you're gifting yourself is knowing yourself and what you need. That's your safety net as a relationship with someone else's. Do you know what I mean? A relationship with yourself, sister.

Can I just say it's quite cool that she didn't force herself to continue. Yes. Because there's been times where I've forced myself to do something with someone just because of that. Yeah, and because you're there and you're in the moment. Do you often say, I don't want to do this anymore? Yeah.

You've been like, I'm not into this anymore. Yeah. You can leave and it's really cool. Yeah. It's really cool that we're doing this. That sets you up with like the tools to date really well. Cause you won't really do stuff that isn't serving you. You won't be having bad sex.

It's good for you. Do you know what I mean? Should we round up? Jennifer, number one. Jennifer, when you think of Jennifer, what famous Jennifer do you think of? Jennifer Lopez. Wow, I was going to say Lawrence. Cool edge now.

My first one that comes to mind is Lopez. Wow. Rihanna? Jennifer Tilly. Jennifer Tilly? Who the hell is Jennifer Tilly? She was in Bride of Turkey. She owns a piece of The Simpsons because she was married to the guy who owned The Simpsons.

Wow! The reason why I know that is because she's in the new series of Beverly Hills, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. She's a legend. She's actually a real G. Sorry. Have you seen, this is a massive detour, but now you've just said about Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

Have you seen the number of comments saying we need to watch Secret Lives of Mormon Wives? Oh, yeah. I've heard about Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. If there's a new season coming out, I'm going to... Okay. I saw your TikTok and we had this debate on stage. I still am convinced that those videos are satire. Babe, the number of people in our DMs... I think you might be right.

The proper ones where they're like, go to war. They've got to be low key like teasing. They they're like, go to war. They've got to be low key like teasing. They're not joking. It's teasing. They're not joking. They're not jesting. You are being pranked. The prank is working on you. When they're actually, I'm kind of rid of Rana. I think they might be playing into the stereotype of Mormons and like being like, oh, you know how religious people are? How religious? But that many of them. Yes babe. That doesn't sound like an extreme anymore.

That sounds like a majority and I'm not convinced. But it's only a majority in one state in the whole of America. If you actually think about the numbers, I'm happy to be proven wrong. I just think like- We'll never know what we're going to do. Go to the University of- Go to Utah. Yeah.

Norman University and ask them if they're joking or not. Never let, I'm not joking because they're deadpan. And then you'll never know. They'll be like, I'm not joking. And you'll be like, but are you? And they'll be like, no. And you'll be like, okay. And that'll be it.

They will hold their front. I don't think it's a front. I actually know it's not a front. In my soul, I know that they are serious. Maybe you're Mormon in your soul. They take their covenants seriously. Has anyone spoken, any Mormons come to you? Lots.

Really? In your DMs you've got Mormons? In the Allie and G TikTok DMs. Lots. Lots of comments on the video. I actually couldn't if I tried to find my way to the Allie and G TikTok DMs. I do not understand TikTok and where the DMs are. Yeah, also they change. Why they're hidden so rarely? It changes every week. They change the theme.

I don't know why they do that. What? But a lot of LDS, basically saying how Latter Day Stains, LDS and Mormons are slightly different. And like there's been a lot of educational messages. I'm not joking. I haven't replied to really that many because I don't really know what to say. God forbid a girl has a hobby. Like you live your Mormon life through those people. 100%. But the comments are very much like, basically there's a difference. Like these people are representing an extreme, but there are lots of Mormons obviously are not that extreme.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. But the extreme ones do exist in the same way that extreme from every religion it exists. I know, I definitely agree, but I don't know about it. Something about those skits and him going famous on TikTok that might be a little bit staged. Should we do just two? Have we rounded up? Did we round up?

No, because I started talking about Jennifer Coolidge. Sorry. Oh yeah, sorry. So number one, April Fools. What the fuck? You must tread carefully with your jokes. Jokes are not to be messed around with. That's so bad.

That is the message you should take away. Careful with your jokes. What message do you want to take away? My message is, you know, I don't have a message. Yeah, exactly. Be careful with your jokes. Very good message. I don't have a message other than, you know. Look for fire and you'll get burned is my message. Actually, my message. Because like you had yourself to blame there, sis.

Because you set him right up. No, but my message is, if you're going to lie, if you had yourself to blame there, sis, because you said him right up. No, but my message is if you're going to lie, if you're going to cheat, at least lie once. Babe, your message can't be to the adulterer. Why would you give up your information that I've proved to you? Okay, my other message is, no, I'm glad he came clean because that's sick in the head for her to really learn what you've done and the audacity to gaslight her. My message is maybe trust the universe because the universe put that seed in your mind to

ask the question and now look, so prank your pranks. But the better. Maybe if any girls out there have got any like niggles, they just lie. Just say you found the truth. Just say, I saw that message from that girl. A good cheater would lie so many times. Have you? Just set them up. And they've lied because they're good at cheating.

Have they lied? Some lie or some tell the truth. But also even when they lie, you can see the flicker across their face. I know, but like a flicker is not confirmation babe. It's not fucking black and white proof, is it? It's enough for me. You're out. Right, voice note number two.

Babe, yeah! You're single! Don't be sad. No, no, don't be sad. Don't be sad. No, no, don't be sad. Don't be sad. By the way, guys, I was like, you've been broken up with Colin for four years. It's been 18 months for me of heartbreak, actually. I want you to know. It feels like so much longer. Guys, two things. My dad's 81. I got it wrong. That's on you.

That was on me. That was on you because you was? I thought he was 83. You said 84 and you aged him through you. No, I thought he was 84 this year. He's 81. You aged him and that's not fair, Martin. But that's because you told me I got broken up with four years ago and I was like, well, that was my 80th, my dad's 80th birthday was when I got broke when we broke up.

He's your dad. But it's your, like, perception of my breakup that skewed me and confused me. It wasn't 18 months, was it really? Yes, it was 18 months. Wow. of my breakup that skewed me and confused me. It wasn't 18 months, was it really? Yes, it was 18 months. Wow. We only had one Christmas not together because the Christmas, we broke up, we broke up in the November and then we had the Christmas, Christmas and now we're in April.

Wow. That's gone so, that feels much longer. Yeah, it's been a long slog. No, for real, being single gets better and also like really Ronan Keating was right when he said life is a roller coaster and especially when you're single gets better. And also, like really, Ronan Keating was right when he said life is a rollercoaster. And especially when you're single, you do just have to like, hold on, because there are real highs and real lows and you've just got to allow that to be. And I don't want to listen. You shouldn't like I know that I'm not the person to say this to you

because I'm in a secure relationship, but relish relish in it. Fucking savour the singledom for as long as you can, because also, like even like I think you know, what you've got to just do is avoid the lows like keeping you low because I think it's really easy to be like I had a bad day all men are shit and it's like well that isn't necessarily true and you are going to get some like really joyous moments because you're single like there is so much joy in that like I'm really grateful for this time I think do you know what I mean and I would rather be here where I am right now in a relationship that was wrong for me.

I thought. Way rather. Should we do question of the week? We got time. Yes. We've got three minutes girls. Okay, three minutes. Are you ready girls?

Have you ever cheated? Be honest. Yes or no, that's all we gave them. You say yes or no. Have you ever cheated? I think majority is no. Yeah. Bearing in mind our audience is mainly women. Zoom in that information what you will. Ruhana, what do you think? I'm going to go 63% was no. And then, yeah.

89% said no. I don't believe them. And 11% said yes. This is a thing. No, but definition of cheating does differ between people. Because I would put myself in the no category, but I could in someone else's eyes, I think they would say yes. I agree. Things I know about this Jodie dog. No, yeah, I think so too. Because I would say like, you know, if you've like messaged anyone else, like I would say that I have cheated because once when I had a boyfriend, I did message someone else.

Oh, I wouldn't consider that cheating. And I think that's cheating. With intent. Like flirting with intent. I think that's cheating. What were the messages? Funny pics? It was actually, he then became my boyfriend, which wasn't great.

We then dated, but there was a crossover where he basically messaged me and was like, you looked so good tonight. And I was like, thanks. And then we were messaging a bit and he was like, do you have a boyfriend? And I was like, yeah. And he was like, just because there's a girl, it basically messaged me and was like, you looked so good tonight and I was like, thanks. And then we were messaging a bit and he was like, you have a boyfriend? And I was like, yeah. And he was like, just because there's a girl, he doesn't mean you can't score. And then we like flirted for a while. So that is cheating in my opinion.

Some people would say that's not cheating. There is a lot of gray. Is there? Because some people, some people would not consider that cheating. Which I think is a disrespect. It's a disrespect, but is that cheating? What is the definition of cheating? Disrespect.

No, it's not though. G basically set a south foot on a next relationship. Yeah, I literally got my boyfriend lined up. I did the stepping stones. I got the stepping stone in front of me so I could leap across. The problem is you have to define with your partner what your definition of cheating is because it's irrelevant. Honestly or unfairly in order to gain advantage. That is cheating. Okay. Fair. Then there's

another one be sexually unfaithful. That's another definition. So it just depends what you would do. You have to define with your partner what your definition is. You didn't sexually you were not. Were you sexually unfaithful? No, I wasn't. No. Listen, I'm not saying. What are you doing over there? What are you up to? Your DM passed them over. I'm just saying, out of that 11% the no's. I think there's a few yeses in the no's.

Exactly, but they don't think what they've done is cheating, but actually maybe it is. We're here to hold a mirror up. I just have so many friends who've cheated, but like their boyfriend's never ever found out. Wow. Proper snogging, sexting, sexting, sexting, snogging, snogging, in the club, like doing bits in the club. And I'll be just two stepping next to me. I'd love to be doing bits in the club. Guys, I'm starting to wave a finger flag for just fingering. Like second base is heaven, just second base.

I wouldn't only ever go to second base now because I just think, why does it always have to go to third and fourth? I just want to stop at second like we used to back in the good old days. At a house party where you knew 100%. It was just that. Oh, that is joy. A bit of dry humping and a finger. In and out and then you can go home and sleep in your own bed.

Oh, I just honestly want like no strings attached. You have to clip this. Why did we stop doing it at 15? Why have I left it there? Because everyone thinks that sex is cool. And I don't know why I think that. I genuinely sometimes don't want to be penetrated. No, no, no. I think sex is incredibly uncool.

The actual physical act of sex, if you zoomed out and watched yourself, not cool. I think I'd have a fab time watching it. Yeah, I bet you would. I bet you were putting on a show and all that. Swing and put the mic up underneath. And the lights go down. Before we say something we regret, thank you so much for listening. Love you so much. Keep your voice notes coming.

Happy birthday if it's your birthday. Happy birthday. Happy Wednesday, happy hump day. We love you and we will see you next week. Love you, bye. Bye. Bye!