My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 806: Ad Daddies

Episode Date: March 23, 2026

Our home town boys made GOOD! But don’t you worry, we won’t let the success go to our heads. As much as we wanted to make the whole thing ads top to bottom, this episode still has a tasteful amount of the absolute best ad reads in the game, alongside elevated discussions about special powers, what shapes make the best candy, and how to look cool on the playground. Suggested talking points: How Will I Make it up to Kevin Pereira, Pre-Roll Papa, Strong Hammerbones in the Middle Ear,  Sorry it's been So Dusty, One of this Generation's Ad Wolves, Hut Crust, It's A Platform Border Angels: https://www.borderangels.org/our-services.html

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool, baby? It's the start of something's rapping into a precious friendship. It feels love. Hello and welcome to my brother, my brother made advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy.

Oh, all right, hold on real quick. Yeah, hey, Joel. Yeah, no, you tell Conan if he wants us to sub in and do his ads, he's going to have to add a zero to that offer. It's a sufferable. Yeah. I've already suffered, guys. Okay, I love you too. Okay, bye, Joel.

Sorry about that, guys. Yeah, hi. What's up, Travis' up, Travis'clock, Wolf Wolf, Frum, Frum, the heater, McElroy. Hold on one second, guys. I am also getting a phone call. What's that, Joel? Bill Belichick wants me to play for the New England Patriots to replace Gronk. Yeah, that shouldn't be an issue at all.

I beat him at ads. What's that, Joe, Bill Bellamy wants me to take over his hosting jobs? All of them? What's that? Hold on, Joel. I'm getting a call from me. Belbiv DeVoe wants to make it Bill Biv DeVoe and Justin. Oh, shit.

Guys, I'm getting the call up. The Seahawks want me too. Guys, Marshawn Lynch called for the Seahawks. He said, join my... You guys fight it out. Chat, did you hear? Hey, did you hear?

Sorry, guys, because we beat Rob Gronkowski for Best Podcast Adreads at the IHeart Radio Podcast Awards, I've been getting nonstop calls from NFL coaches like Bill Belichick and the guy who does the Seahawks to come and play for them. I guess the rumor went around

that because we're so good at, ads and we beat gronk out it by the transit of property we could beat him in football i don't know i just want to ask listen we won the i heart media podcast who were for best ad reads okay listen it's yeah and yeah we are going to talk about it we're so desperate for recognition here's what i want to say harold dispatch okay wait is this is it are you are they tell you that we're going to be pulled okay local boys make good is a headline i've waited to see my whole life yeah yeah and i know maybe you couldn't give it to me when we did the TV show there. Maybe we couldn't give it to me after our failed podcasting book.

I get that. That's fair. Although, you know what? I recently discovered on a very obscure New York Times bestseller list, it did appear at number nine. Hell yeah, dude. But anyway, yeah, dude. Yeah, that's actually a hit. But Chuck Norris dies.

It's Breaking News top banner. I can't even get a minch. I get illusionist Rick Thomas performing at the Boyd County Public Library, Ashland, Brad. Oh, shit, he is. You can't get local boys make good. You can't, you can't bust me off. Turns out the best ad reader in the world lives in Huntington, West Virginia. There's some mental parenthetical.

Yeah, there's just some context. Yeah, some context that is missing from that headline, I would say. I am surprised Chuck Norris took top billing. That man has literally no connection to the, to West Virginia whatsoever. He was not a Western manager. Having been there in person, they, I'll just say it. I think I Heart Radio Media Podcast Awards were being very coy with me. We're really slow burning it.

Right. Making me feel like there's no chance. Oh, we don't even know if you're on the list. Oh, wait, here you are. Oh, you had a plus one. We don't even know that. Oh, we might not be able to let you on the floor. We didn't put you in the reserved couch seats.

All the other winners walked up. They really were playing it close to the best. And I was like, well, there's no way we won, right? Because they don't even act like they wanted me here. They always do that to the people who are going to be winning the biggest awards. They treat them the worst so that they don't expect. We've got a Michael J. Jordan on the list. I'm so sorry.

We just can't. I'm looking around. They're naming, you know, best podcast ensemble. And they're the guys from basement yard go from. from a very comfortable looking couch that they got to sit on inside a cordoned off area and I'm standing like three people deep

behind the robes. That's so sick. Standing with a whole hour and 20 minutes and I'm like, no way. I would have been uncomfortable about what that meant for our kind of like our profile or office. Yeah, they didn't let me up there.

No. They did a, and here's some other awards. Right. For anyone who didn't watch, you can watch the highlights on the Macroy family Instagram. I just had a, gut feeling when they were like, here's some other pre-selected awards or whatever, where I was like,

ad reads is going to be in there. I was going to ask how you knew to record that montage because of your certainty that they... The writing was on the wall. Yeah, Griff. Quite literally, on a big screen, and it said best ad reads, and then us, and then it had us up on there. And I wasn't looking at the screen, as you can see in the, in the shot. So I didn't see our logo come up. Yeah. I did not know. We had one until they said, my brother, my brother, and me. And the deep shock I felt, I had to stop filming. It felt like it was quite a long TikTok, long vine, one of those vertical videos that you shot of you sitting there as all the other award winners in that montage were announced.

And I was like, I bet this is building up to like a killer, like a killer gag at the end. But instead, you actually got surprised out of your reverie by our success. What I loved about that moment, Trav of Glory is that how you didn't film yourself, like, reacting to it or anything. Like, I like how it's, like, 30 minutes of other podcasts that we don't know about. One second of us. And then you're like, cut the feed. Like, you don't like, ask people.

You don't look around to people and, like, say, that's us. Like, that was your moment to, like, draw focus. You know what I mean? Or like, yell up or something. Instead, you just said, what the fuck? And you just turn off the camera. You said, what the fuck in that angry way? Yeah.

And an angry way, like, you were mad about it. It's got it. Let me just, I'll play, it takes five seconds. Let's just hear Travis's reaction. What? What? Thank you, Rachel. Okay. That's sent in. You sound mad. You sound angry that we want. I was so confused. Because I was there. Yeah. Right? And they were like this guy won. So I had to go, then I went back to the table that had told me I might not be able to even stand on the floor. I might have to it in the bleachers or whatever. And I was like, hey, so do I need to go somewhere to get it? And then I need to

stand there for five minutes. Give me a second. Give me a second. Give me a second. You lived it already. You've been sleeping with it. Give me a second. Just this moment vicariously. And we need to process it. If you could just give us a second before adding any more information to the pile. Just a quick breathing. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Okay. So yeah, yeah, good, good, good. And I want everyone to know, I was so uncomfortable, but all I was thinking was, if I can get a shot of me

holding this award, it'll be the culmination of this whole trip. A lifetime's work, yeah. So I stood there for like five minutes while someone was texting with someone else until they looked up and said, oh, they'll mail it to you. And then I was like, oh, and then I had to slink away from the table, like, well, I guess that ends this interaction. It's actually worse. It's worse. It's worse.

How could it be worse to win? Yeah. I'll say, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I will say this in this one. I had to spell our last name twice, too. Fuck, dude. Fuck!

I will say this. I'm glad we won. It's exciting. It does kill the joke. There was a pretty good gag there running five years ready that we would continue to be nominated for the best podcast ad read with the I Heart Media Podcast Awards, and we would be beaten out by someone who was actually genuinely much, much more famous than we are. That was like a fun gag.

Maybe we will have, maybe with this win, we've established enough critical credibility. Yes. And I will say the IHartMedia podcasting awards have bought themselves some credibility by recognizing one of the old dogs and one of the best to ever do it. Yeah. We invented the game in 2010. Yeah. Okay.

Like four to five years after it was invented by other people. Four to five years after the game was invented. We invented the game. And now maybe they're going to start recognizing us in some other more prestigious, more on stage categories. You know what I mean? Maybe the Lifetime Achievement Awards, if not us, who?

Kevin Pereira? Fuck off. Well, it was... It was Terry Groves. I like Kevin Pereira. I know. I don't know why you said that. That was so mean to Kevin Pereira.

They gave it to Terry Gross. Yeah. No, no radio people. That's true. I'll be furious, dude. Jack Shepherd? No. I think we need to make a campaign

for best advice, Because I think that would be Best comedy podcast, we might even be in consideration. Best advice podcast? Yeah, dude, because I need my kid asking me why I lose Best Advice podcast every year. That's what I need.

That will take some of my power away in the homestead. Best Travel podcast? I don't even think that. Best Travis podcast. Best Travis podcast. Why is there not a Best Travis in the awards? Thank you. There's a lot of big, heavy hitters.

Name Travis and I can think of three off the top of my head. I wouldn't have felt so bad about having to spell my last name twice if there were a bunch of other Travis's for the, no, McElroy. Now, wait a minute. For this award, did you tell them to put your first name on it also? Well, I don't think they, I think they'll just put my brother, my, I don't think they'll put trap. I don't think they were recognizing my personal excellence.

I did call dibs on the trophy. You did. I mean, you went to the thing. I think that's only fair. I thought Travis would be a really fun bit, because you have like the YouTube. to play buttons. Correct. How many of those do we have?

Just two. And the 100 million. 100 million streams. I would love maybe photographs of all those that I can frame and put in my background. Like photographs of the awards? Do you think that would be okay? Would that be fine? Can you send me some high-res glossy JPEGs of our awards?

Yeah, maybe I'll do like a glamour shots of it. You know what I mean? Yeah, I'll set up a whole display with my fucking senior pictures in my senior pictures folder. That's a cool look. I found that theory. I feel so bad about what. what I said about Kevin Pereira. Yeah.

Like, he's not even that much of a podcasting guy. He's just like a classic media personality. He's got a great name. It was just like a poll in the moment. And I'm sitting here, like, I can't stand by it. No. You know what I mean? But it's too long in the past for me to like,

not Kevin Prayer. I mean, it's done. You know what I mean? It's clipped. Yeah. And I don't know how I'm going to make it. Kevin Prayer. I have no problem with.

You know, like, I've no nothing with. I just, it was like a quick pull in the moment and I feel really bad about it. Do you think, Justin, that Best Ad Read Award has gone to your head and you're trying to start some beef now that they're going to cover in the, in the tablets? No, Trave, I think I'm

the same as always. He puts sunglasses on. Yeah. To say, you know, say something that felt not. They could tell from the tone. Yeah. Hey, this is an advice show. And we will get to the ads because I know

that's what you're all fucking third. Delicious! That's what you came here for I know. An ad's vice show. Let us get some of this bullshit out of the way and then we'll fire it up and get paid. This is an ads vice show. You want to see how we do it? We do ads and vice.

That's what it is, baby. Ads Vice. People keep saying put the ads first, Daddy. Yeah. You got a wait for. You've got to wait for. You've got to wait for. 45 minutes of ads, 15 minutes of bits.

Switch it up. Just one little audio stinger, dad. Just one singer, insert it. Dynamically. Just a promo code. Erl me. Oh me, Papa. Erl me with the URL.

Erl me. Do terms and conditions apply, daddy? All right. Too far. Too far. Too far. You've felt it. I'm a freshman.

I'm a freshman. Give me an ad, father. I'm a freshman. We're at daddies. Sorry, go on. I'm a freshman. In my university. small theater department and frequently the group goes to a drive-in after rehearsals

slash events and the like they go here for the large playground it contains i figured these nights would be a good time to i'm going to burp holy shit man podcast award winning i need to shut my door i'm cussing a lot professionals take notice other award shows bafters golden globes We deserve one of those now. You didn't do it into the microphone, and I'm like, glad for that. Like, that means a... I still have... Here's what's hard.

Is it still... It's still in there? Man. Yeah. And that's going to become a fart. I'm not a science guy, but I think... It seems like it would take some time. That's why we didn't win best science podcast.

Now I'm going to fart on the podcast. It'll be the second half. Damn it. They go on... Sorry. The question could... 10 years. I'm a freshman in my university's small theater department and frequently the group goes to a drive-in after rehearsals, events and the like. They go here for the large playground it

contains. I figure these nights would be a good time to endear myself to these kind folks. Trouble is, I'm a bit of an introvert, so I need your help. Brothers, what is the most interesting slash most kick-ass way to interface with a playground to make about two dozen theater kids in their 20s like you. That's from sweating on the swing set in West Texas. All right. This question confused me for a bit, but now I understand it. Are you quite all right, brother? I don't know who that was. I think the videotape will reveal I was quite still. You all of that. Yeah, you have your hands up on your knees like you're in masterpiece theater. Yes, that gentleman such as myself wouldn't burp. I couldn't dream of it. Yeah, man. But you're ripping

Hogan's back there like you're on the man show, dude. I apologize in advance, but I'm trying to stop. What more do you want from him? He is but a man. Holy shit. I try to follow the show full out. You know, it can be tempting once people win a war once you can't purlatives are tossed out to think of them as gods.

But I'm still. Yeah, flesh and blood. I see it. Absolutely. So what are some cool playground tricks you can do to impress people in their 20s? I will say that this is a, tall order. I will say. Looking cool. Looking cool as an adult on playground. This isn't to shame

anyone who has a playful spirit in the heart of a child's mind. Like, that's beautiful and I love that and that's good. I don't know how to do it in a way where someone will be like, damn, did you see the way they jumped over the monkey bars? Like, it would need to be pretty crazy like that. You know, I, in my life, I have seen countless people try to dance funny. Yeah. in a way to like make people laugh, right? Because how funny they're dancing and a thing. I've only ever seen one man dance in a humorous way that made me happy. His name was Christopher Stoker.

Do you know why? Why? Because he was having fun. He wasn't doing it for anybody else. Okay. He was just having fun. It wasn't for the audience. He was just having a great time.

So there's nothing cooler than like going down a big old swirly slide and enjoying it for you And not worrying about everyone else. Yeah, man, I think so. Authentically doing monkey bars? Cool shit. I mean, if you did it in a fast, elegant way that looks like you were born there and you're like, yeah, I lived in the jungles for a while.

I'm pretty good with like Tarzan kind of stuff. Like, I've trained there. No problem. Nonchalantly hang upside down. I'm rereading the last night of your brothers. What is the most interesting slash most kick-ass way to interface with the playground to make about two dozen theater kids in their 20s like,

you. I have to imagine this is written from like an alternate dimension where mind altering substances and alcohol do not exist. Because the answer to your question since time in memoriam for how do you get a bunch of 20-something theater case that like you is you produce alcohol and drugs and perhaps tobacco. That is a that is a patented method for a lot of social groups, but definitely for this crew. If you are the one person who's like, hey, I brought this huge bottle of vodka. Right. It's just, like, comically huge, like, I can't drink all this. Right. You know.

I mean, that's how it's safe. It's been quite a while since any of us have been in our 20s, though. Maybe that's not how it's. God, man, I'm just, I'm guessing. I never did any of this. There was smoke. I mean, here's what we all, this is the problem with nobody smoking. Right.

You know? Thank you. This is the problem with nobody smoking anymore. No. No. But we need a better outside activity that is only outside. We need stick. You're flipping a coin while you lean against a light post.

You can do that inside. I want it to be big and messy. A big messy activity that everyone likes to do that. Everyone's super addicted to doing outside, but you don't get sick from it. The truth of it is, we know about vaping nicotine. We know about it. But we can't change the fact that when you see someone smoking a cigarette, you want to go join them and smoke a cigarette with them. And when you see someone vaping, you want to go back to bed.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, it's not a good subject. And this is a social aspect. We are only talking to theater kids right now. We are only talking to theater kids right now. It's different for you. You've got to live authentically and in your art.

We get it. What about blowing bubbles? Blowing bubbles is a really good answer, Travis. Blowing bubbles is a really good answer, yeah, yeah. Big ones. At the Wonderworks, they had this like bubble thing that you could stand in and you lift a hoop of rules.

Around you, rules. And it makes a bubble. You brought the supplies for that. Yeah. Oh. The closest you feel to having magic. I just made a force field. They got one of them at the National Children's Museum here in D.C.,

and sometimes I go inside and I put a big bubble up around myself, and I feel like that's the only moment of quiet and peace that I know now as an adult. 100%. If I'm not inside the bubble, like, everything's safe in the bubble, I guess, is what I'm saying. And I love it, and I wish I was in the bubble all day. Do you know what theater kids love? What? That there's not enough innate theater kid population?

an audience. Okay. Theater kids are always trying to impress each other. What if you were just there being like, that was a great, you hung on the monkey bars for a really long time

and I thought that was awesome. You're an audience, you're the audience for them. This is right. Being the one person in this crew that is not trying to pull focus will eventually make you the king of the hill. Right.

Like they will, they will come to you. Just buy it by. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Or, unless. Unless. What if instead of applause and cheering, you gave them some notes.

You just gave them some notes. Now you're the director of the theater, Frank. The most powerful. The most powerful one that there is. Nice work on the monkey bars, but like, what was going through your mind? When you left all that loose change in your pockets. Yeah.

Hmm. Just next time. Something to think about. Great job. Great work. But I know you have more in you. Maybe you could bully people And then when they get T-Oed at you

You just be like, huh, use that Use that, yes Oh, I like that How you're feeling right now Yeah, use that. Climb that slide. Think about how when I just pushed you over the bench And you fell and you hurt your knee

And you're mad at me You're crying a little bit Yeah, use that. Use that. When I rubbed your water bottle on my butt And I threw it in the trash can The feeling you have right now Put it on the slide

Leave it all on the slide. There it is. There it is. I'll apologize later when we've wrapped this session. Yeah, but right now it's about growing. Now it's about growing and you really need to get your fucking act together. I make maps for a living on the computer and I have a bachelor's degree in geography. Super cool.

Only I have a terrible sense of direction. If I didn't have my phone for navigation, I would frequently get lost. All my friends and family poke fun about how funny it is that I'm a geographer with no sense of direction. How do I get them to stop? or how can I become a better geographer? This is from Confused Cartographer in California. Let's talk about it. They have fundamentally misunderstood your purpose.

If you had a perfect, innate sense of direction, you wouldn't need maps. Right. That's where you've dedicated your life to this. We are all attuned to different sort of vibrations, frequencies of the universe. Yes. I have a theory.

that everyone possesses within them an innate and super, super powerful ability to, like, know either the temperature or the time or their bearings or like one of these things. The vibe. The vibe. Well, God, that to me encompasses like a few of these things. But, like, I usually know to about a three-minute margin of error what the time currently is. Me too. I usually know what time is. I usually just kind of know what time in it.

And I just know it from feeling. No idea whatsoever. I'm just knowing it by feeling it. That must a niche or nurture thing though, Griff, because mine comes from retail. Okay. Mine comes from retail and thinking about time in every possible permutation

and counting every minute mentally. Like, I just generally know what time. Travis, are you, maybe, are you a temperature? This is our new eneagram that we've, our maybe 15th eneagram that we've come up with on this show. Are you a temperature guy? Um Yeah

I would say I'm pretty good at that Within I would say three degrees Five degrees You said you're not a time guy I don't think you're not a time guy Not a direction guy for sure Not a directions guy for sure So like

I got a pretty good I can sense when people are mad at me Does that count? I have a good sense of I can read the room pretty well at this point From years of struggle at it Oh can you? Yeah, Grafen.

I can. I have a sense of taste. How about that? Sense of taste? I'm a supertaster. Do the thing where I put the weird stripper. I'm not talking about senses, man. I'm talking about the axes of the powers.

Superpowers. Superpowers. Just time. Well, there's got to be a fourth one because it's not time or direction for me. Time direction. I'm okay at temperature. Yeah. What about doing stuff?

I'm not good at that. I have ADHD. I'm feeling very judged. No, it's not judge. I'm not judging you, Travis as much as I'm trying to justify my own new, very profitable enneagram. Fair enough. If he can't find a slot for you to fit in,

then it means it's not an eniogram. It's just a fucking idea. It's not like a square peg kind of deal. He's like trying to make a new Travis bag. You know what? I'll say, speed. Speed is very good. Speed's really good, trap.

Speed? Yeah. It's so general. No, man. Like when your body is moving, when your body is moving or when you're driving in a car, you know sort of the speed that you're at. That's super good. Oh, speed.

not just like the flash. No. You're not listing speed. I'm not in touch with the speed force. No, he's not fast, but he knows how fast he is at all times. Okay, I like that a lot. That's good.

That's good. That's good. I think four is all of them. I don't know that there's much else to it. That's probably, you probably don't need, but I will say direction, I,

this is a really good one because I am truly embarrassed. And I mean embarrassed in a real sense of how little an idea I have of this at a day-to-day basis. It is something I've thought about.

I think about a lot, like when I look out the windows of my house, sometimes I'll think, like, that's rising right now, so this must be east. And I'll think about it for a second. And then it's like, gone. So, like, I don't know what direction this is. Like, I'm at my house. I don't know. Right.

the power of an Olympian god to me. Where I'm like, who even knows where North is? And she's like, it's that way. And I'm like, what? She got those strong hammer bones in the middle ear. I don't know how she does it. She just knows. Griffin's telling you, it's the hammer bones.

It's the strong hammer bones inside the middle ear. So, yeah, don't be upset. You just, you're on a different axis. That's fine. And you chose this job. I would say this is a job that is probably more commonly held by people who are more sort of directions folks but have you guys ever really tried to draw a map because that'll humble you real fucking quick i have a wonderful fantastical world let me draw a map of it and then it's like wow

this looks one just kind of like the united states because i guess that's like the only and it looks so shitty there's like square borders justin's trying to really that's north he's got a sex tent out that's cool that's north is it like i don't know i mean you use your phone so no i mean i'm looking for the The hammer bones. I don't. But I don't actually know. If we were more outdoor boys, we would know directions better. Absolutely.

Maybe. But then there's people who are like talking about taking a road trip and then they say the right directions for it. You know what I mean? Like, I went up to this place and they're like, it is up. You know what I'm like? I don't know. How did you know that? It's crazy.

For me it just always went over, over to. I'm going over this place. All maps are kind of bogus anyway, right? So who's the problem? The fault's in our stars. not in ourselves. Whoa. Well, there are different projections

I know that are more accurate. Yeah. And then there's the one that makes America look so virile and powerful and strong. So turgid. So turgid and bigger than all the other countries combined. If you had a compass all the time, eventually you'd like connect

facing in different directions with like the compass, the direction. Like eventually you'd think about like, ah yeah, that E is always here when I'm looking this way. This must be kind of easterly. Yeah. Yeah.

I should label walls of my house. Yeah. That's good. You are looking E. I'm looking E. Not looking me and C. And then over there, Sua. We know swah.

That's no. Look out for snuts. South North is not in a direction that I'm aware of. Fuck, that explains so much. Why did I label that wall snow? Should we go to Money Zone? We've waited a wait a wait long enough, huh? Yeah, here it comes.

Well, boys, we got the first... Did you guys ever think, too? I got the yips. Did you guys ever think about... Cats, cats, cats. If you eat cat food, cat, cat, cat. I have eaten cat. Do you give...

Do you also know what... Ow. Cat is no... Al would love... Let's take a breath, take a beat. We got to come back. We got to come back. We can do this because we're a family,

and you know who else is a part of my family? All your guys' cats. Oh, okay. Listen, it makes the most sense, I think, for me to do this. Hi, I'm Justin McElroy. I have two cats. And my wife likes them better than me sometimes, but the way that I am trying to get into

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They love all the different flavors, although smooth bird is a personal favorite. You can adjust the subscription, so you're getting just what you need. We have it dialed in really nicely, so we really never have to think about buying cat food. Just shows up when we need it. So stop guessing which meals will upset their stomach for limited time because you are, my brother, my brother, and me, listener. Get 60% off your first order plus free shipping when you head to smalls.com slash my brother.

One last time, that's 60% off your first order plus free shipping when you head to smalls.com slash my brother. That's that shit, baby. That was good. Justin's back on the fucking horseman. Did you hear him, Trave? He like got nasty. He fucking nailed it, dude.

He got keyed in and he just like surfed the whole way. He closed out the pipe, dude. Let's have him do the next one. Fuck him. Wait, no, wait. We should. No, we do. No, fucking, dude, we're out.

No, let's not even wrap the show. Let's wrap the show there. Thanks, y'all. That's going to do for us. I want to say. I'm a man out. As we say in every episode, a huge thanks to Squarespace. Also, we do actually say that every episode.

We are sponsored in part by Squarespace this week. Square Space is, uh, God, a genie. But instead of living in a lamp. Squarespace is God. Square space is... Square space is life. Let's start this one over. Squarespace.

Wait, start it over. I like that. Like you want to do it. Travis had a good direction. Griffith built on it. I'm going to do big energy. Squarespace. Yeah, big energy.

Websites? Okay. Yes. Squarespace websites. For you, yes. Zoom out. Zoom out. Everything.

More. Okay. Zoom out more. Okay. The idea. It's not just about websites. It's not just about. Goods and services?

Yeah, you can offer them both. And get paid with money that you use. I can offer Squarespace. They will trade in services. So I'll say like Squarespace, if you make me up a beautiful website, I will come and I'll wash your car and do all your chores for a month. Well, you can offer goods and services through Squarespace. Okay.

And get paid through Squarespace. And they don't say this, but I'm going to. to say if people fall behind on those payments, Squarespace is going to enforce that for you. They'll send out their bruisers to break some kneecaps. Yeah. They got some huge folks working for them over at Squarespace. I don't, I do not mess around with those, those dudes. No, it's like 400 pounds of pure muscle, no bones, no blood, no skin, just 400 pounds of pure muscle in constant agony. They got Crusher with a K over there working for us. And if someone does not pay you the money that you are owed through a Squarespace website,

Crusher with a K will come. And well, there's a reason for his namesake, is what I'll say. He has a big metal robotic crab claw. He has a huge crab claw and a visible brain in his stomach, a hind brain. He's awesome. And the turtles have not been able to stop him. They can't stop him because they don't know which brain to target, but Squarespace gives you everything you need to make beautiful functional.

website and make them look good with award-winning website templates. You don't need to know anything about freaking coding or art or UI or anything. They got you and they'll make you look like you do know what you're doing. So head to Squarespace.com slash my brother for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use Offer Code My Brother to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. I felt him. I felt the Lord moving it through me. Yeah, man.

I wanted to have a conversation with you guys. This is an idea I've been thinking about because we got the Easter holidays are coming up and the shelves are starting to get filled with Easter candy. Yeah. And I wanted to hit you guys is something I've been thinking about and I wanted to see if I could defend it

in this sort of like thesis sense. Okay, okay, yeah. I think Easter candy is the best candy. Okay. Yeah. Give me some, quantify this for me a little bit. So if I'm thinking Easter candy, here's what I'm like putting up on the bench, right?

I'm looking at Cadbury mini eggs, all-timer, cabberry cream eggs, like smashing it, right? Jelly beans I like in a wide variety, but if you don't want to give those to Easter, I can grab that. I don't eat Jolly Rancher flavored jelly beans

any other time of year. Only at Easter time. Those big old ones that are kind of like a mix between jelly bean and a gumdrop and licorice, yeah, no thanks for that. I love those. Oh, see, I love this. So then the other ones that I'm going to throw in here are one, Robin's eggs.

Yes. The malted milk robin's eggs. That's a perfect size. You like that shatter. You like that shatter. I like that shatter. And then the, and then I think, I don't know if there's a specific name for these things, but like the marshmallow eggs that have like enrobed in like a hard candy and it all tastes very plasticy and fake, but it's like bright blue, bright pink, bright yellow candy shell on the outside, marshmallow on the inside shaped like eggs.

You know what I'm talking about? No idea. No. Okay, so anyway, but marshmallow eggs, things wrapped in chocolate. Easter candy is the best candy. Holiday candy. That's all I'm saying. Holiday candy or best overall, all candy.

I mean, I don't know. It's better than Halloween's sort of stand-alone candy is almost universally dog shit. And I love Halloween. I do, but like, miss me with all that waxy business. No way, yeah. For a candy holiday, it doesn't come to party. Like, it doesn't come with anything. Christmas has...

Wait, no, no, blah, blah, blah, blah. Recy pumpkins are the best version of Recy's holiday, like, shaped things. Now, I will say the egg is very close, but this is correct, of course. Yeah. Now, listen, the tree, they're fucking robbing you people. Yeah, man. Look at it. Yeah. Look at the shape.

And there's a square package. There's a square package. It's not right. It's a rectangular package with a triangle in it. Folks, they're robbing you fucking blind. every single Christmas. Every time. But it also has candy canes,

which are in inedible shape, but it also has chocolate oranges, which almost makes up for the trees and the candy canes because those... Oh, look who else is here. It's candy corn is here with Halloween. Yeah, no. This is what I'm saying.

Easter is clearly the best candy, holiday candy holiday candy. Is candy corn something you can hang on? Can you hang candy corn and melanchine pumpkins on Halloween or is that like a fall of punishment? I think of it as a Halloween guy. Now, Easter does have peeps, which are disgusting.

Thank you, Travis. Disgusting. Foul. Dude, they're just big marshmallows, dude. They're sickly sweet. Yeah, dude, it's candy. Candy doesn't have to have a point. No, candy does have to have a point.

I'm for God that Willie Wonka was here. I'm so sorry to Mr. Wonka. Now that's Freddie Highmore from the hit film, Charlie. Freddie Highmore, if I go and I take a marshmallow, A little marshmallow, I dip it in sugar, and I eat it with my mouth. You can't just say, that's candy, because it's like, it's conceptually kind of bust. It's candy. No, it's glut.

Peeps, you can, all right, peeps, fine. I don't agree with you on peeps, especially once they're stale. But I agree with you, that's not a ringing endorsement of anything that it's better once it's old and stag. I agree with you. That Easter has the best holiday candy. I would not jump to, it is this. the best candy overall. What about Christmas?

Because Christmas candy does have, it's like Christmas candy is actually chocolate orange is good. And gel, I like, I like, give me a little shiny coins that I can open up. I do like the gelt.

Yeah, I do like the youth gelt. I actually like the little peppermints with the treat, the gummy, they're like soft peppermints with the pictures of the trees in the middle with the red wine on the outside and the pictures of the trees. Sure, sure, sure.

I love eating Santa's flossy beard. Do you guys know Santa's flossy beard from the Mars? from the Mars company. You invented it. Do you guys, I can't celebrate Christmas without chomping down at least two to three Rudolph knobs.

If I don't get my Rudolph knobs? There's no Christmas candy. There's no Christmas candy. Okay, so what's better? Red and green Eminem. Red and green Eminemes are my favorite version of Eminem. Oh, okay. And you know what?

Christmas bells are good. Christmas bells are good. Uh-oh, wait a minute. Bell's a good chocolate shape, but like, yeah. Man. Those actually got ruined for me because my only memory of eating them as a child was at Granny's house. Granny's house and they tasted like cigarettes.

Yeah, because she smoked like three packs a day. But I folded it into the appeal. Oh, yeah, thanks, Granny. Way to attach those two incredibly similar concepts in my mind. Every time I eat eggs, I think, God, I wish I was smoking. She was on some Homer Simpson tomaco shit. Just robing it in. Man.

Yeah, but I still think, I mean, Christmas candy, I think part of the problem with Easter candy, though, is the best parts of it have been, sadly, sort of, like, redistributed as, like, rainbow Cadbury mini eggs. Sure. Or, like, peeps get, you know, repurposed, and a lot of really foul permutations, honestly.

So they can't keep as much of a lock on it, but I don't know. I still feel like Easter candy is the best candy. Um, okay. I thought, I thought because of, uh, know our recent prestigious award that maybe it would be nice to take a moment and just kind of class things up around here a little bit with a little work of fart.

We haven't done it for the home game in a while. And maybe, you know, we might have a ton of new listeners and this is their first episode. Oh, welcome. Now that we've won the award. We definitely probably have at least a few ad execs listening. And that's, I don't know that we've done particularly right by them. I'm going to tell you right now. Fart jokes we're about to do should probably drive home whatever big product placement deals we've been sitting on.

I'm calling this one CW themed. Okay. But I don't know if all these shows were on the CW, but they feel like they were. Okay. Okay. Up first, Sam and Dean Winchester, aided by Cassiel the Angel, search the world for a good bathroom. Pooper Natural. Yes, Griffin.

Pooper Natural? What? Pooper Natural. That is correct. Pooper Natural. Supernatural? One point. Can I raise my hand to like buzz in?

Because I'm scared, you're going to be wrong and think Justin had it first one of these times. Yeah, no, you go. Oh, Justin raised their hand in the ball. Well, don't raise your hand inside the software because people can't, you know, get it. How will we just say Bazinga? Oh, okay. That's good.

Okay. The girls field hockey team lost in the Canadian wilderness are rescued after months of stink lines are seen rising above the trees. Hmm. Smelojack? Bazinga? Smelojackets? Smelojackets is correct, Griffin. That one felt a little

highlights for kids, like sort of family circus. That one was like pretty clean and I don't know if it belongs in a work of fart. Are you saying Travis loses his edge? I'm saying you're still, yeah, maybe the AdWard thing maybe he's got in your head a little bit

and you kind of like toned it down Because usually you'll get like jizz or like other crazy stuff in this one. And this was just like, what if there were a bunch of aromatic field hockey players? I'm not going to respond. Okay. I'll take the point. Don't get me wrong. Travis.

I love to get that. I got a point and I got it right and I did a good job. The best job. But I just get, don't be afraid to be yourself. Upper crust New York teen socialites get into all kinds of scandals, which you. are reported on by an anonymous blogger who also reminds them when it's time to go to the bathroom. Go. Oh, I got it.

I got it, Basinga. Go piss girl? Correct. That one feels good. We're back. We're back on top. Oh, man. If I had come up with the answer, I wouldn't have gotten to laugh at it.

So I feel pretty, I'm happy. Okay. Four teens, each one. with their own secrets to hide are plagued by the terrifying and all-knowing A who tells everyone about the time

that they pooped their pants. Four teens with secrets to hide. Uh-huh. Are plagued by the terrifying and all-knowing A who tells everyone about the time they pooped their pants.

The summer I turn shitty. No. I don't know. Wrong show. I know where you shit last summer. A knows where you shit last summer? This is where you guys just don't know enough about quality. Pretty little liars?

Pretty shitty little liars? Correct, Griffin. shitty little liars. Okay. Ooh, got it. Justin kind of said it at the same time as me, but he said it in like a... It's okay. It's okay.

Okay, one more. You deserve it. blood-sucking brothers Stefan and Damon Salvatore battle over the same high school girl they're in love with while also battling loose stool. May I?

Vampire Diarrhea. I'm giving it to Justin on that one. Vampireias is correct. I was in the wrong, I was in the wrong zip code. Why did you say I'm giving it to Justin after I said vampire diaries? Because Griffin said, may I before you said anything?

I was going to say poo blood. I was going to say poo blood. Is that what? I was going to say poo blood. I think I've actually done poo blood before. Thank you, Travis. That was great. I really grew a lot.

Who won, Travis? Who did the best job? You did win, Griffin, four to one. Right. It still feels good. D-n-na-na-no-shed. What? Da-n-n-n-n-n-n-.

How much show can we put into one show? I want a Munch squad A one too much squad Welcome to Munch Squad's a podcast within podcast profile The latest and greatest of brand eating And this this one's a dozy Pizza Hut launches national campaign updates Hand Tossed Crust recipe

Now this is one of my favorite things anytime a restaurant chain has to say one of our staples has this entire time not as we've been saying been the best but it's actually been so bad that we want to change it and I always like to see how people handle this story we've been hiding the truth

we've been suppressing the truth people have been trying to get the word out we've had them kills sorry it's been so dusty guys we couldn't figure out why it was so dusty without ruining the so hard We're giving everything. We're giving everything, but I swear to God, we're doing this thing in a fully sterile environment. I swear to you, Janine, I'm getting it together.

We're doing our best, Janine, but the dust keeps coming back onto the pizza. It's so hard and granular. And if you think it's bad for us, imagine what it's like for our employees that are all dusty. When it comes to pizza, crust isn't just a detail. It's the main event. Now, this is the part. This is where you have, this is where you have to brace yourself. right?

Because this is where it gets even worse because Pizza Hut is saying like the most important thing and we've been fucking up and we're so sorry at Pizza Hut Crestra and Supreme. It's also like such a

yeah in that it's like when you're buying a car it having like exterior is the main event and it's like yeah it might not be

the main thing I look for but without it it does kind of it's seeding To work. It's bad suit. Pizza Hut. Crest Rames Supreme.

Pizza Hut is officially introducing Hutt crust. A new platform celebrating the bold, recognizable crusts that have defined the brand for generations. At the center of this platform is a craveworthy $10 large three-topping pizza available on fans' choice of three iconic crusts, the new and improved hand-tossed, tavern style, or thin and crispy. What's tavern style? It's like a flat, I think it's like a New York style. I don't actually know. I've never gotten it. Do you say it was hut crust?

Hut crust. Hut crust. It's a platform. This pie day, Pizza Hut announces it is on the hunt for a real paid gig. And this is why I want to bring this story to you. Hut crust connoisseur. a first of its kind project created to celebrate the people

who love pizza crust most the hut crust connoisseur becomes the official guardian of the hut crust platform I don't know what we're fucking doing people who apply must be willing to have

all kinds of crazy sex once they get the job for everyone will desire them will you take up the sauce to defend the crust. Traveler, many have come before you and saw an allegiance to defend the crust. Once a century,

yes, Sasajo, the pizza demon will rise from hell. And God, you must defeat him, please. This date is going so well. It's so hard to meet people in the big city. What did you say your job was? What did you say your job was again? You're a pizza crust guardian.

Sassarjo. Well, he sounds terrible. Well, only here in the Americas. Right. Across the oceans, there are many pizza crust guardians. And once a millennia we come together. This is why they killed that Buffy reboot. Because they were like, Sarah Michelle Geller is like, it's going to be about pizza

crust, it's going to be about nothing. And they're like, okay, Sarah, then it's about nothing. Then you have to go. It's a first of its kind. The Huck Cress Connoisseur becomes, well, first of all, becomes the only people whose job is harder to explain to my grandpa Dan than mine. The Huck Cress Connoisseur becomes the official guardian of the hut crust platform, responsible for tasting and testing all new crust innovations to ensure they meet people.

Make sure they're not poisoned for the king. Is he guarding the platform from Pizza Hut? You've got to let me get through this fucking sentence. Listen, we did a bad job for decades. If we start to backslide, it's your job to call us on our bullshit. The hut crust connoisseur becomes the official guardian of the hut crust platform responsible for tasting and testing all new crust innovations to ensure they meet Pizza Hut's iconic standards.

So what they're basically saying is they're hiring like CI. They're hiring like internal investigations. So it's like an internal bureau that's like extra pizza. Like they're extra extra judicial. They're extra saucy. They're extra outside the law, right? This just crust. An arbiter of sorts, if you will.

An arbiter of the crust that protects it sometimes. Which what Pizza is saying here is like we have proven ourselves to be a poor steward of this crust. We can't be trusted. But we can be crusted. It's awesome. Welcome to pizza. This is so good because then if the pizza is still bad, they can be like, blame fucking Jeremy. He's the guardian of the pizza.

Here's a video of him saying it was choice. Yes, that means literally getting paid to eat pizza crust and a $31,415.92 cent payment plus free pizza. for a year. Wait, that's it? That is not at a job. That's not a job. That's not a job. That's not a job.

I just feel like for a year, money aside, the money doesn't bother me. Don't pay me anything. But like, I'm not going to be able to control the legacy in the way that I need to in 12 months. You know what I mean? There's going to be executive turnover that I have to be above. Like, I have to be inherited. You know, if the pizza crust guardian isn't part of the furniture, it's, It's not like in the DNA of the place.

You're going to lose track of it. You can't do that in a year. It takes generations. Well, Justin, I assume that that is based off of the projection that if you eat, let's say, a pizza a day for a year because it's free, you'll die. You will pass. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

So then we'll need to pass the torch to the next one. It's a blessing and a curse the hut crust caught a sore job. I need you guys to get ready to do a little bit of social media research for me. I need you to check this hashtag Pizza Hut crust That's it Just hashtag hashtag hashtag Hashtag Pizza Hut crust

Is the blue sky to do hashout? To be considered for the gig Pizza Lovers must try Pizza Hut's new Hand Toss pizza recipe And post an honest review on Instagram Using hashtag Pizza Hut crust My bad On the gram, thank you

Pizza Hut crust hashtag Pizza Hut underscore contest And Hut Cust Connoisseur in the social media post Sharing what they thought of the crust applicants then head to Pizza Hut Crust to submit a link to their review as their official application.

Griffin, how is it going? I'm logging in. What's my password? Travis. Yeah, let me see you here. You were just logged into our account for the takeover, right? So you're not logged it either.

Well, there's fewer than 100 posts, Justin. I know that much. If someone could just... So the odds are like pretty good, right? Like, pretty good. Yeah, there's not a long... There's not a lot. But there's a good chance.

You're having a lot of fun here. Good for them. But I'm just saying if we could get fewer than 100 posts. I'm just saying if we could get somebody on the inside. Yeah, dude. Anyone of y'all?

Oh, no, dude. Sorry, sorry, sorry, no, dude. No, what, no? Why not? That's just the tummy aches for starters. No, not you. One of them. Oh, I thought you're talking to me

Travis. That's the problem with no, no, not them. Travis isn't even looking at me. I don't know. No, I'm just going through other people's applications to see how I would stack up.

I'm not, you can't have a job, you have a job. We need to get somebody on the inside. I could get it. Of course. Griffin, you're one of our generation's great story.

Of course you could get it. Add, I mean, obviously. To bring this, okay, so the Huck Crest platform, I can't believe this is as long as it is. The Huck CushRest platform,

shines a spotlight on Pizza Hut's new and improved hand-tossed pizza. The brand's first update to the recipe in over a decade. The refreshed crust delivers a lighter, airier bite with just the right balance of softness and crisp, bringing a modern upgrade to a classic west. I'm going to order this for once. Oh, no, I've got you. Right now. I'm fucking starving.

To bring Hut crust to life, Pizza Hut is launching a new national campaign set to remake. This is the one where you're going to be like, holy shit, I can't believe it. They did it. It's a campaign set to a remake of the iconic disco anthem hot stuff reimagined as Hutt Crust. Okay. I think actually just I can imagine it.

I think I can imagine it completely start to finish. Yeah. Well, you don't have to. The spot opens on an indulgent close-up of golden, crispy hand-toss crust as the beat kicks in, layering craveable pizza beauty shots, with lyrics. Celebrating the crust fans can't stop singing about.

So that's what's like. If you watch it, you don't have to watch it now. You don't have to watch it now. You don't have to watch it now. Crust is at the heart of a great pizza and fans have been asking for more ways to celebrate it, says Melissa Freebie,

chief marketing officer at Pizza Hut. With hot crust, we're not only introducing a new hand-tossed recipe that elevates a fan favorite, but we're also offering a $10, large three-tapping deal that gives people real value. you every time they order.

And for those who live for crust, the new hot crust colliseau are, is a dream come true. A way to get paid for tasting and loving crust every day and then dying. Promptly afterwards, and in a fashion,

you will find most desirable piggy. Hey, Steve, how you been lately? I don't know, man. You know, my wife left me and I lost my job, but honestly, I still got a lot to live for because of the pizza crust

I live for that pizza crust because of my views and the way I expressed them I've been banned from every social media platform but I've finally found a platform that will have me and it's the hut crust platform

the platform of hut crust y'all this thing closes on the 25th there's still time the odds are good The odds are very good. Please. Please.

Become our person on the inside of the Pizza Hut. I mean, it's a pyramid. It is a pyramid business. I'm glad we can all finally. It all funnels up to the top. No one's making money except for Professor Pizza Hut. Hey, everybody. That's going to do it for us.

Before we let you go, we did actually win. I don't know. It might have seemed like a bit this whole time, but we did actually win. We have a limited release. It's an Omner to Win shirt as a follow up to our Omner to be normanated t-shirt. We've got the Helping is always a free action t-shirt over at MacGrowingerge.com.

And 10% of all merch proceeds this month will be donated to Border Angels. So make sure you go check that out along with everything else. We stream almost every day playing video games. If you go to Macroy Entertainment System on Instagram, you can find out when we are going to do it. On Tuesdays, we all get together for Super MacGroy. brothers and then on Fridays.

I do trial by Fieri. Juice is playing mist on Mondays. Travis is up on Obriddin on Wednesdays. Just follow Macquarie Entertainment System. You'll find out exactly when we're doing all that stuff. And thanks to Montaigne also. Thanks to Montaigne for the Astro theme song. My life is better with you.

It's a great track. Travis has a little flail. I got a little flail. Wait, but can I say, you mentioned Conan, I just want to say I am sorry about that because I can't imagine the high he experienced on hosting the Oscars. Yeah. And then the next day to lose best ad read to us.

Like, that must have been. That must have been tough. I would love to talk to, if any of you guys know, Conan, and I can just tell him, like, I would love to be able to have the, here's what it is. I would love the opportunity to be able to be classy to everybody in the way that they get to be like, what an honor to be amongst this class of the great. of, you know what I mean? Like, I would like to be able to do that to everybody to their face. Like, I would like to be able, like, say to conund directly like, hey, what a not. Like, it should have been.

Yeah. Like Michael B. Jordan, give him Shalameh, like. Like, you give him the side. He said, Beardin, look, next time, ping pong guy. Maybe you don't talk to shit. Man, I did want to talk about how rough. No, we don't have time. Travis.

Damn, next week, next week, next week. Next week, next week. Next week, next week. Next week, next week. Next week, next week. Check for that big boy, Chuck. Chuck that little 3D printed flail. It's gonna make a good sound.

Timmy Chimmy next week, baby. Boom, boom, boom. Your name's mud. No, you're Timmy Chimmy, but. So, thanks for listening. I'm Griffin for the Mac. I didn't even hear it. Did he do it?

It was really little. Hit something not your soft chair, man. It didn't make a good sound. Ow, fuck. It bounced back. There, that counts. Mine is Justin McRoy. I'm Griffin McElroy.

They never talk about that in the movie. In baseball, how the ball sometimes bounces back. It's just got spikes on it. Travis, say your name are weird. I'm Travis McRoy. This has been my brother, my brother, me, kiss your dad's square on the lips. It hurts so bad, I got red marks. Maximum Fun.

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