My Therapist Ghosted Me - MTGM EXTRA! "I suppose you would call us swingers..."

Episode Date: August 21, 2024

In the interest of ever-broadening their horizons, Vogue & Joanne have an email from someone making the case for the dating app aimed at 'open minded individuals', this week. Plus, Edinburgh, hypnotherapy and dreams.If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [e-mail] review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.comFor more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThis episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.Thank you!

This is a global player original podcast. Hello and welcome to the bonus episode of my therapist ghosted me with me, Boge Williams and Joanne McNally. I went to see, uh, Katrina Ryan and she was talking about you and she said that she had you in my derma. Do you know you can't get in with her? She's got like a two year, like she doesn't have a waiting list anymore.

I know. I don't know what that was. I was thrilled. I have someone trying to break into Katrina's office. I know, yeah, I know, I know. You can't get into her right now. She's, she's highly sought after. I incorrectly last time said she was the most qualified dermatologist in Ireland and then she contacted me privately that was actually not actually correct. But we don't have a corrections corner so fuck it, it's gone into the euthanate. She is. She's the most qualified dermatologist in Ireland.

Yeah, if we say it, it's true. I know. Well, she completely fixed my rosacea and everything. Yeah, she's absolutely amazing. She put me on all this. She put me on retinol. I'm on retinol, supposedly everyone's on it, Joe. I don't know if you're on it, but you should be. Does it look like that? I'm on the rest. I only just went on it. I feel like I've been wasting,

I'm convinced I see a difference in my face already, but I can't because it's only been a week. It's super strong. You're supposed to start with a kind of alternative days, but it's an active, it's got active ingredients. So instead of just like moisturizing, it kind of activates shit in your face. Cause obviously I don't know the term.

I thought it- It activates shit in your face. I thought it took bits off your face. So when you get old, it takes the old bits off your face. Yeah, look, I'm not entirely sure, but I just know that everyone our age is supposed to be on it, but not young girls. They're not supposed to be on retinols. That's the problem.

That's the TikTok skincare industry is ruining young girls' skins. I think you should be on it from about like, she kind of gasped when I said I wasn't on it. So I think you should be on it from about the age of 30 by her face. Yeah. Facelift 55. I said I'm in. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There'll be yeah. There just won't be any videos for a while. No, yeah, yeah. Or we could do a Katie Price on it and just go on holidays and just go

around the place. Two of us sitting in the dark with a load of staples in our heads. You wouldn't be able to get through the security. Imagine, how do you go through the metal detectors in airports? You can get one and not even have to have on us like to go under. You can get one with outgoing asleep. They basically just cut the side of your face and pull it back and stick it back on or something. I don't know. The thing that terrifies me is when people get a facelift for the first couple of weeks,

it tends to look like they didn't put the face back on. It looks like they lifted the face off and then just the face is sitting in a jar somewhere. And they're it's it's pretty severe. Maybe by the time we get it in jar somewhere and their face, it's pretty severe. Maybe by the time we get it in 10 to 15 years time, it could be very discreet. You just put your face into a kind of like a mammogram machine. It just kind of restitches things. I don't know. Anyway, look, I'm open to it. Well, I kind of was hoping that when you

got to the age of like when we got to the age of 30, I was like, you'll probably be exercising in your sleep by then, but that hasn't happened. So there might be some advancement. People in their comas do. People move their legs around physiotherapists. That's going through, I guess. Is that appropriate to say? Probably not.

No, it's in the ether. Can you believe that I'm stuck to my 5k day? Speaking of exercise, someone actually messaged me going, can you please ask to stop speaking about her 5k day? And I said, I can't, she can't be stopped. It's for charity, I have to talk about it. But it is getting, it's even getting a bit much for me. I like, I haven't mentioned Strava. I've just been told, and I tried to not mention it every single day, but I had to do one when I was like violently hung over and I like,

I kind of started weeping towards the end and I did it again on Sunday when it was hot and I was like why have I done this again? Good for you. I think what's so cool about that is the discipline of it which is something I really like so I respect that. You keep running bitch, you strava away. I feel like. Look after your safety though because can people not just follow you around and strava and see where you are? Well no because you can actually start it from like 400 meters, 500 meters from your height so you don't have to start it from where you live. Do you find them getting easier? Like is your fitness building?

My fitness is definitely getting better, but I'm not going faster because I'm running with people so I can talk. So I can talk for a whole run. OK, which is more important to me, obviously. You're bonding, connecting. I see them running around in their runners clubs and I think, talking and running at the same time. It's like rubbing your belly and licking your elbows to me.

I don't know how people do it. That's what I thought it was like. I need to get this woman's name up because I did it. I don't know if you've noticed a difference. You did what? Hypnotherapy. Oh, really? Go on.

Now, I only did it a couple of hours ago, but I haven't vaped since. Have you started eating dog feces like you did? Yes, I have, actually. First, she was out in the... Who cares? First, she was out in the balcony. I was just going around like a Pac-Man after him. So it was actually like it was it was not because I thought it was going to be...

It took me ages to book it in because I thought it was going to be, it took me ages to book it in because I thought it was going to be over two hours. And obviously I wouldn't be able to sit still for two hours. It's from a lovely girl called head tonic underscore hypnotherapy for a little shout out. And she just texted me, told me to throw the vape in the bin. I have done that churn and you lie there for an hour. I'm like, I think it's meditating, but you go into like a trance and, uh, and then my kids obviously came in and ruined it halfway. So we had to

go back into the trance, but I feel like I haven't faked yet. Hold on. So when and would you usually have faked within those two? Like what was the, did you go under or did you actually go under now? Don't bullshit us. I swear to well, it's just kind of like, like I thought I'd fall asleep. So I was waiting to fall asleep, but I never fell asleep. So I was like, how has she kept me still for this long? And I hadn't fallen asleep. So I think you can definitely go into that kind of a state.

But she said that like sometimes, oh, God, I'm going to bring up running again. But sometimes if you go running, you kind of go into a trance because like, you know, when you hate something so much and then you just start daydreaming, you could even be walking and you daydream and you're like, God, how did I go in that rabbit hole? That's kind of like a trance. Like when people are getting tortured and then they think of being in a hot country or being on a holiday. Yeah, exactly like that.

Yeah, like in the world wars. Yeah, I've read about that. Yeah, but that's what, yeah, so it's actually, I don't know if it's going to work. We'll see. I haven't vaped yet. I'm hoping I never do. But I started taking it up full time then because I was like, fuck it, I'm getting hypnotherapy. I'm always like, I'll just vape my head off.

Well, Alan Carr, who wrote the book about giving up fags and booze, he recommends that you fag and booze through those two books and then by the end you hate it so much. It's like that strategy when parents find fags in a kid's drawer and they make them smoke the whole package. Now I don't know if that's effective but you can kind of overdose on things. Maybe that's a reasonable way to go about it, I don't know. Now it's not comedian, it's a different Alan Carr, obviously. No I know who you're talking about. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I assumed you meant the famous. No, no. Alan Carr is like this famous author who teaches people how to give up things. He got like the whole, well, not the whole world. He got loads of people to give up smoking. He's like his book sells like millions and millions of copies and you have to smoke cigarettes throughout the book, Nikki Glaser, an American comic talks about how she gave up alcohol and she just drank that book, she read that book and then by the end of it, it basically, I think it just kind of talks sense into you

of all we understand is the feeling we get when we engage with these poisonous things. But he talks about the rationale behind it and how ludicrous it actually is. I remember one time, there was one line I heard, I read it somewhere, it was like an extract. He was talking about smoking and they were saying, smokers say it takes loads of discipline to give up smoking, but he said, do you understand the discipline it takes to smoke? If you're on an after party and, folks, this was back in the day, now you don't vape and I don't like to smoke.

If you didn't have cigarettes, you would leave. And they were like, there's a petrol station 20 kilometers down the road. You're at that door, you're on the way to that petrol station. He was like, that takes way more discipline than just stopping. He's like, so don't underestimate the drive it takes

to keep going with this addiction. You're the one who has to go outside when you're smoking, like all that stuff. And people who use like my dad used to smoke like 60 a day. That's a lot of effort to smoke 60 cigarettes a day. Disgusting. But he did use to smoke in the dark. He used to smoke in the dark in his room when he was going to sleep and he would just like aim the ash over his bedside table, hoping to hit the ash tray.

There'd just be like ash all over the ground. That's so dangerous. He might as well have been sticking a knife in a toaster to wish himself good night. That's so dangerous. I know. I have ambitions to read. I mean, I'd like to give up everything eventually. When I slip into wellness, that'll happen. I just, you know what? I like, I thought, I thought when Speno went away, I would not drink at all.

But it's been so stressful with, with the like, I'm basically, I'm on my own with Adam trying to look after the three kids. And I really didn't want to drink at all when he was away because I was like, I need to have like the energy, I don't want to be hung over. But I just, I've actually, there's been like two or three nights that I've said I needed, I actually needed a couple of drinks. Yeah. Yeah. But we hit a pretty hard, when I had to, so I'm in Edinburgh at the Fringe, as we know, and the first couple of days I arrived. So I was doing this TikTok kind of variety show for one night and then I had three, three, four days off, a couple of best

of the fast shows, but my own like show, my work on Prog is didn't start till yesterday. And Edinburgh is like, it's like the Edinburgh Fringe, it's like a wet Ibiza. That's the best way I can explain it. It is like crufts for comics. Everyone's just on one. There's so much boozing. The bars stay open till all hours, like the artists bars stay open till all hours. Like till like 5 or 6 a.m. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my God.

It's wild. And so I, and it's so, the first couple of years I was here I had no friends, so I didn't really get sucked in. But now I have friends, thank God. I've comedy friends. So it's been, it's been loosey goosey, I will say. So I'm kind of back in my healing phase now, bought some blueberries today and that's where I am mentally. Yeah, spent 10 grand on four blueberries. Where are you staying? Tell us everything about it. So thank you for asking. I'm staying in Wild Apartments.

Is that the same place as last time? Yeah, it is. And my stays keep getting longer and longer. And they've actually just given me a good deal. I am actually paying for the room, but next year I said, like, I won't leave. I'll be here on Christmas Day. Because it's the location. Like, I'm looking at you and I'm looking right up.

I can see Edinburgh Castle. Edinburgh Castle has no bad angles, but this is a particularly good one. Oh my God. There's something very special about the Fringe, I have to say. There really, really is. I really meant to go up. I just think, and my, Luisa's going up. I think she actually went up today, but she goes to all the,

there's like TV meetings and stuff up there. Like there's just endless stuff to do up there. It's all go, it's all go. It's all go, go, go. What did you do today? So you had your show at five. Well, I did a bit of recording on that other podcast that I'm making about the surveillance.

And then I had a nap and then I did my show and I've just come back from that. How long are you up there for? I'm here till Monday. Monday? And I got booked in a facial and because of the success of my last Curly Blow Dry I've booked in a Curly Blow Dry for my last night. Oh for your last night in Edinburgh? I'm going to hit the tattoo. With a full bouncy blow dry.

Not a knicker to be seen. See what happens. And then is it over? The Fringe is over on Sunday. Yeah, it's over forever. Until the next year. I'm going to go next year. I'm going to go next year. If I say that, make me go next year.

I'm going to go for just, just two nights. What I would recommend for anyone coming to the Fringe, if you can, come midweek. The weekends are bananas. If you can come, and you could, bro, because you can move your work around, come Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, come those days, because the shows are quieter, it's easier to get tickets for stuff and it's not as mental. The weekends are, it's like New York City. Who have you seen?

Who's good? That's a very embarrassing question because I've seen nobody but myself. Isn't that terrible? I mean, I've seen a lot of people socially, but I haven't seen anyone. You didn't hear of any shows? Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. And you know what? I was talking to someone about this the other day and I was like, I think this is maybe my sixth Edinburgh and every year it presents itself differently. And some years you're just mad into going to see shows and yeah but this year for some reason it just wasn't. The only show I've heard that was really there's loads of

there's loads amazing acts up here. Cat Cohn is amazing, there's a guy called Jerry Starr that's amazing but I haven't been keeping track of the nominations or anything I'm a little bit kind of doing my own thing this year. I'm not really involved in the shows, I'm more involved in the socializing of people who are in the shows. Ruben Kaye, Ruben Kaye is a drag act Australian, he has a show called The Kayhole, which is apparently amazing, it's on 11 o'clock every night. But Kayhole, I don't know if it's anything to do with Kedemann but... Yeah I think it is, I think it's anything to do with Ketteman, but. Yeah, I think it is. I think Cahill is to do with Ketteman.

But did you see all that stuff about Matthew Perry? Yeah, is this, did his assistant get arrested or something? I think like six people or something got arrested. But somebody, so basically somebody was like supplying him with Ketteman, which, but I didn't even know it was injected. Is this like a kind of a Michael Jackson thing all over again? Is that what this is? But now I think it was, and his last, the last thing he said to his assistant, so he did it at half eight in the morning. I only read this today, sorry, that's why I'm saying it. Half eight in the morning. He did another shot of it at half 12 in the day. And then

he said to his assistant, let's make this one a big one. And then he did a big one. And then his assistant went off to do errands and he went and sat in the hot tub. But then I read an article of somebody being like, did he mean to do that? Or like, was it all an accident or it's just so wild. It's so sad. It's so sad, but you know what I would say? And this might be the wrong thing to say, but I'm going to say it and then we can decide.

Okay. It's really sad. It's really fucking sad. Addiction is so sad and then we can decide. Okay. It's really sad. It's really fucking sad. Addiction is so sad and it's so tragic. And people who enable people with addictions, I don't know whether it's right or wrong. I think he was going to get it from somewhere. I'd say his assistant.

He's also dealing with people who are dependent on him for an income and finances. And I don't know where the ethics are. But there wouldn't be this much time going into this if he wasn't famous. If he was just a regular Joe, there would be none of this time wasted on it. I don't know. Do these people deserve to be prosecuted for?

I don't know. I don't know what the answer is. They're just throwing it out there, allegedly. No, I think that he was going to do it anyway. I think it's a bit strange for a doctor to be, well, I don't know. Can you ask your doctor for Keniman? I've never asked her. I was asking the vets. I was obviously going through the wrong channels

that vet from Bulgaria that I'm always in contact with but whatever about the doctors his assistant I just don't know I'm like it's all very murky Dear Joanne and Beau, I love you both. Your podcast is the only thing that gets me through scary flights along with a lot of space wine and Xanax. I don't remember them all the time, but always laugh a lot. Love that. So you know the podcast of my grandmom. I was looking at his Insta yesterday and he was sitting beside this girl who was listed to his podcast and she hadn't noticed him

and he was like, will I tell her or not? And then there was a picture of him about 20 minutes later and he goes, she hasn't laughed once. Oh no, the trauma, the trauma. I have noticed you brought up the app field a few times in relation to piss fetishes through though in relation to fish fetishes though and my experience of the app is so much more than that so I wanted to share my story. I was in a long-term monogamous relationship my whole 20s and thought we

were on track for house and kids but ended up breaking it off because something wasn't right sexually. I was the single one for three years and after so many failed dates of Tinder, Bumble, Ghosting and Fuckboys, I was ready to pack it in. But a friend suggested I join Field to explore my sexuality. Hmm, nice. The first. Explore my sexuality. I'm thinking this is what I should have done when the first marriage broke up. We've always said there was a lack of exploration on both our parts.

Yes. And I can tell by looking at Joe, he's the same. Okay, the first guy I met from field took me to a 20 person orgy. Well, that's extreme now. That's extreme. I would have started with like a gentle Nando's or something, but it's Field. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. A 20 person orgy. It was incredibly eye opening and empowering. I realized I was not a slut as I've been thought my whole life, but a sex positive person. The next person I met on Field, I've been with five years and we now have a house and

cash. So very serious. Oh, we have met lots of lovely couples on field. I suppose you would call us swingers in the old sense, but most of these couples. I suppose you would. You know what? One thing I wouldn't be able to do only because I watch the documentary on channel four, I just wouldn't be able to go dogging. I'd go to a 20% orgy, but I don't want to go dogging. Just seems cold.

But you love the outdoors. You're looking at me. You could just jog and dog. Jog and dog. Jog and dog. I'll finish the 5k and then I you could just jog and dog. Jog and dog. Jog and dog, you'd love that. I'm going to finish the 5k and then I'll be ready for a dog. Yeah, think of the extra cardio you'd burn getting dog dead on the way to your 5k. So just to say, this woman, is the email finished or is there more? Oh my God, but most of these couples are great friends.

We go for walks and pub and the pub with, but also ride each other. It's great. Perfect. That sounds mean. Anyway, I won't go on, but Field isn't just a weird fetish shop. By the way, we don't think any fetishes are weird. Sorry if we gave that impression. That's Joe putting out our deep and meaningful conversations about Field.

I have a friend who met a guy in Field a year ago and they're going out now. Like I have another friend, actually two, two friends. Now that's not to say that the aim of field is to go out with someone. It's a hook up app. I just mean I'm aware there's more to field than adults urinating on each other. And I'm sorry if I gave that impression. That's just the dream for myself. I've had to piss on her for the last two months. She hasn't met anyone else yet. Exactly. My friends no longer want to be involved. They're like, you have to get someone else to run. It's not fair. It's not fair on us.

I don't like, I think for field, I was just told that it was like for some people who like something a little bit different and not as vanilla, but like what is vanilla? Like it's also, it is, it is a bit of a hook up. Apparently Tinder's a hook up app now as well. Yeah, God, we are a vanilla. We are a vanilla. I am, I am. Yeah, sometimes there's a bit of cookie dough in there with me. I'm just going to say sometimes. Yeah, sometimes there's a lump of spice. A lump of spice here and there. Yeah.

Joe, you're just vanilla. Yeah. Your baby came from a stork. We don't want to think about anything else. It's like certain people you don't even think have sex like Joe, you don't think of us having sex. I don't. Do you Joe? Have you thought about us riding each other? Have you ever thought about that? Any dreams that you've woken up from being like anything like that? As many people as might think that that has happened. I had the weirdest. You'd be thinking about it now. Not possible. Night. There is a way to make your dreams think of something, but I had a dream about Spenny

the other night that he was gay and in the dream I was like, stop doing that! And I kept having to go and literally pull him off guys and I was like, we're married you can't do that. And I don't know where it came from. Sometimes I think you can read, sometimes dreams you can kind of wreck your head trying to figure out what they mean. Sometimes they mean nothing. Sometimes that's just you thought that maybe you're watching something on a TV and then it kind of it all just mashes in at night. It doesn't always mean anything. That's why I think it's really

like I would, I can never watch anything too scary or too weird before bed because then I can't sleep. That's why I have to read or I turn into a weirdo. Apparently cheese gets in my eyes. Anyway, more science next week. Thanks for watching!