My Therapist Ghosted Me - The Corrs, Michael Flatley & Hawk Tuah

Episode Date: July 12, 2024

It's official, as far as Vogue is concerned... She's a 'gig person' now. Joanne definitely isn't, but she might become a 'pub quiz person'. If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [e-mail] review Global's Privacy Policy: global.com/legal/privacy-policy/For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.com/For more information about Joanne's gigs, visit: www.joannemcnally.comThis episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.Thank you!

This is a Global Player Original Podcast. Hello and welcome to My Therapist Ghosted Me with me, Vogue Williams and Joanne McNally. I just need to let you both know that I am now a gig person I I'm not going out unless it's to a gig okay

oh okay yeah you're going you're yeah go on explain yourself I'm a gig person you left the house once you left the house so

I don't know if you knew but I was I don't know if I mentioned that I'd gone to Glastonbury to see all the gigs yeah well this weekend I went and saw The Chorus. I mean, Shania Twain was there, but it was The Chorus.

The Chorus. Was Shania opening for The Chorus? Who? Or was Shania opening for Shania? What was Shania thinking? Who gets The Chorus to open for them? I'm sorry. Do you think they eyeshawn her?

I want to be a Chorus. I wrote that on Instagram yesterday. I was like, I really want to be a core and loads of people wrote back and they were like, except Jim, no one wants to be Jim. Poor Jim.

And I was like, I'd be Jim. I really want to be, well, any of the girls. You like, this is what happened with the blacks, Mary Black and her kids.

You kind of develop a crush on a family and then, you know. Well, that family didn't take me in. I wanted to be in the black family and they wouldn't let me in

for balance Shania fabulous really yeah you didn't see the Coors though also what is with this

right that stage of women and I know you shouldn't discuss how people look at certain ages but what's going on what are they drinking

I don't get it Andrea Coors well all the Coors sisters like they are genetically very blessed. They had that, and this is no shade on Ireland

because obviously we're Irish women also, but they had that kind of Hollywood look when no one in Ireland really had that look yet. Like, they could have been Hollywood actresses. Yeah, and they're all so talented. But they're all, like, I just loved every single song. And I'm sorry,

if Andrea, if someone if someone can make a tin whistle look sexy like that is saying something I'm not gonna I'm not being bad here

but can you name any other core apart from Andrea and Jim Sharon yep brilliant well played anyone else

because I can't I'm not Sean Shady I'm Sharon's sister Caroline Caroline is it Caroline Cork? Caroline Cork Sharon Cork

Andrea Cork there was some blow in on the stage though I didn't know because I was like Svenny oh they're all a family and Svenny was like

what all of them brothers and sisters and I was like yeah yeah they're all a family and then I was like wait what the fuck who's he

but I don't know who he was some guy like seemed to get in so that's when I started thinking quite seriously that like there's a strong chance

you could infiltrate do you remember the bit that Catherine Ryan did on about Destiny's Child on the Apollo do you remember this no

it was it was kind of I think what broke her it was it was so funny it was about Destiny's Child and Beyonce and she's like

and Beyonce's welcoming the other Destiny's Children on she's like and Kelly and Kelly comes up to the ground and she's like and the other one and the other Destiny's Children on she's like and Kelly and Kelly comes up to the ground and she's like and the other one and the other one

comes up and the whole bit she doesn't know Beyonce doesn't know the name of like the other singer it's so funny you should look at it

and Catherine Ryan looks like a little baby Michelle and the other one yeah you should look at it Kelly was really trying though Kelly used to really try if you see her in the videos

and stuff she's like literally about to elbow Beyonce all the way I think the third one was I think she changed a couple of times

they changed it up a couple of times I think that was the point of it it's like when the line up starts changing you know it's like the Sugar Babes

Sugar Babes are back to their original line up yeah and everyone's obsessed how's that I know yeah I heard they were amazing Nicki Minaj played in Malahide Castle at the Sugar Babes. Sugars are back to their original line-up. Yeah, and everyone's obsessed. How's that happen? I know, yeah, I heard they were amazing. Nicki Minaj played in Malahide Castle at the weekend. I heard desperate. My mom just told me.

Yeah, my mom just told me that. I was like, how do you know? How does she know? I heard she was terrible. But supposedly she showed up late and everything like that. An hour and a half and it was lashing rain. An hour and a half late. An hour and a half and everyone was standing in the rain.

And apparently on stage in front of everyone she'd have fought with one of the singers or a DJ or something stop yeah she wasn't in a good place

that's what I heard the whole way home just Fanny because we cycled because I'm a cyclist the whole way home I was like so how much do you think

you fancy Andrea like how much do you fancy her and he was like do you want to just relax he's like I'd obviously go for a drink with her I was like what

sorry oh that's a bit much no we weren't oh you're married by the way you shouldn't say things like that do you fancy her and he was like do you want to just relax he's like I'd obviously go for a drink with her I was like what sorry oh that's a bit much no we weren't oh you're married by the way you shouldn't say things like that but Andrea Cora they're playing by the way

Joe considering you missed them 20th of November pluggy plug plug brilliant swipe up swipe up that's great news swipe up November 20th

they're going to be in the O2 are they yes amazing we have to go with special guest Natalie Imbruglia isn't it funny how swipe up November 20th they're going to be in the O2 are they? yes amazing we have to go with special guest Natalie Imbruglia isn't it funny how

people kind of move up and down in their careers in one minute like there's a time where the Cores would have been opening for Natalie and now Natalie's opening for the Cores

it's all cyclical I didn't think the Cores were ever opening for Natalie back in the day Natalie was huge I don't think so no she was alright she was torn

no in the 90s she would have been I don't think so, no. She was alright. She was torn. No, in the 90s she would have been huge. She was big enough. Torn, I remember Torn. I know, but what else do you remember? Well, Torn was great. You know, that's all she needed. It was like Tony Braxton, Unbreak My Heart,

would name another Tony Braxton song. No. Yeah. Natalie and Brulia was playing yesterday at three o'clock though on the day it was raining. So was it a concert? Was it a festival?

So I thought I genuinely thought I was like okay I'm going to see Shania. I actually didn't know about the chorus until just before I went. The peasant surprise.

It is like the best surprise of my life but like it was like a little village like there was like those swings that go spinning around and around like a big festival

kind of vibe and like the whole day like Anne-Marie was playing. We missed her as well. She was meant to have been really good. So it's BST Hyde Park. So this is, oh, you're here this week, by the way. So this Friday, there's Kylie Minogue. Then there's Stevie Nicks.

So every, every, like, they do it for a few weeks. They've had Kings of Leon. They had Robbie Williams on Saturday. And I didn't know. I saw him dancing somewhere on Instagram. So all these people all these like artists go and they play

and it's like in the middle of Hyde Park it's amazing I'd love to go to Kylie is she coming to Clapham by any chance there's a great common there they could set up a tent

I mean it's only I don't like to travel would she come to Clapham Joanna it's about it's about there's a room for a stage there you know and a paddling pool

you could have a whole summer there they could I mean it's not sold out. So maybe... Kylie's not sold out. Well, then she needs to move to a smaller venue. That's what you do.

You go to Clapham Common. I'll speak to them. Do you know what I was... Someone invited me to Travis Scott this Thursday. Turns out I can't go anywhere with a friend over from Ireland that I forgot about. And I was like, yeah, okay, yeah, great. I'll go to that.

And then I was sitting there and I was like Joanne you don't like live music you don't like live music you don't like live music stop trying to pretend it's a nice idea though exactly

but I think that you should just pop on a little Spotify Travis Scott in your house and you think it wouldn't be for me that you love and you'll be happy

yeah I think so and I'll look out the window to the common I'll see the grass and see the people and it's like a festival experience but in my crocs inside. I just don't understand.

I just love, as I said, I love going to gigs. You're a gig person now. I'm now a gig person. You should start a band. That's the next step, I feel, for you.

Well, obviously, we'd all have to be in the band. I certainly would. I don't know, actually, because I know that, like, I'm going on tour in November with the chorus and stuff. Like, I'm actually pretty busy

on the band front and back. Sorry, did you notice my voice is going again by the way obviously because I was screaming along to the Chorus did you see remember last week I said to you

I was like oh I'd only go to Glastonbury if Eminem was playing I've got a real vibe I saw it in the paper did you see that is he playing but supposedly

the organisers of Glastonbury are in talks with Eminem to play so now I wanted to do more predictions because now everyone said that the line wasn't that good this year.

Supposedly Coldplay were embarrassed to be asked again because they've been so many times. Four times I think they've headlined it. Five times? I mean I wouldn't be embarrassed. I wouldn't be embarrassed for myself.

They're probably like do you know when someone asks you to go back because you've had this great moment you're like let's just leave it at the moment. I mean they've had five moments do you know.

We'd probably be like let's just leave it at the five moments. I think they're finished now I'm thinking right Eminem Madonna would make sense because she's coming to the end of her world tour

Girls Aloud because Sugar Babes did so well so Girls Aloud would absolutely smash it yeah and The Chorus obviously for Glastonbury next year

I think that like I think that they're all going to be playing so now I have to go write it down put it in a capsule oh my god what's it called

you're like Nostradamus what am I doing again I'm manifesting again oh you're manifesting yeah put it in a time capsule let's see if Eminem plays

dig it up next year you know I will lose my mind I went to see Eminem he was playing over here in Wembley Stadium and I was like if Dr. Dre comes on stage with him

I will lose my mind Dr. Dre came on stage and I proceeded to get absolutely deranged stayed to the very him I will lose my mind Dr. Dre came on stage and I proceeded to get absolutely deranged stayed to the very end of the gig which never happened went home

bought every single one of their albums on Apple because it was back in the day when like everyone bought their albums on Apple just sat there listening to their music

the whole night till like something like five in the morning on my own Amazing I wish I cared that much about music I do that with Riverdance

sometimes I get really drunk and I watch Riverdance. Sometimes I get really drunk and I watch Riverdance on my own again and again and again and again and it just gives me a great feeling. You and Michael Flatley would be the funniest couple. Me and Michael Flatley? Yeah, I'm manifesting.

The man in the silk blouses whose legs are worth 10 million pounds each. You think me and him would be a good couple? Imagine him trotting along beside you at Clapham Common Imagine me being like

I come down to the windmill For a pint I just don't see it happening Imagine him dancing in Sideways to the pub With the arms out Michael's here I can hear him

Clicking up the path I see you don't get him in again No he just walks sideways All the time He's like a crab In a silk blouse He's just always on the side always from the side

imagine trying to ride him you'd be like I can't ride your hip will you fucking turn around Michael will you stay still every time he kicked his leg up

he'd kick me out of him you can't penetrate me for any length of time Michael if you keep kicking your legs up like that he's married who cares Jo

you think that he just you think that's my imagination not trying to ride Michael flatly oh god I'm so disappointed to hear that news

I'll slip I'll unsend my message from his DMs I couldn't ride a man in a silk blaze I have slip I'll unsend my message from his DMs oh god I couldn't ride a man in a silk blouse I I have

and I do what have you seen the shit Spencer wears he'd be trotting around in silk blouses all the time would he

he used to have this like full leopard print Dolce & Gabbana silk blouse that's kind of cool because it's so weird yeah but someone threw it off a boat

one of his parents friends what because they hated it so much was he fuming I was saying he was absolutely right why would they do that to him I thought you were going to say

someone threw paint in it because they thought it was real fur or something they threw it off a boat yacht life the lads eating their lobos throwing a drink of barrel off a boat yacht life huh the lads eating their lobos

throwing a doll drinking a barrel off a yacht I know I couldn't afford to get another one like you can't really ask someone for the money back

thanks for having me on your boat but can I have the money back for my shirt that is the richest and rudest thing I've ever heard it is so rich

and so rude I'd be sending a bill do you remember LeSar Jessica Parker? I lost her Manolo Blahniks. Which the Mary Janes? She went to a child's birthday party and someone stole

her Manolo Blahniks and then she asked for them back because she was like it's too much money. I'm not wasting this money. And your mum was like don't be ridiculous. They're just shoes. Then she set up her own wedding and said she'd registered at Manolo Blahnik and got her shoes back. Why do I speak about her like she's a personal friend of mine? I don't know, but that's how I speak about her.

SJP. I can't believe you remembered that story. I watched Sex and the City. I had the box set, which back in the day was like an actual box set of CDs. That's a fancy gift. Stacked in like a shoe box. And my mother would like to... And my mother said, to do do do do

do do do and my mother said if I hear that intro one more time what's your middle name Catherine Lucy pardon what are all those things

so my initials are JKLMN like the alphabet Joe just in case you didn't get that you kept that private have you seen the hook to a girl yeah

oh it's this have you not Joe oh that makes me feel better about myself you've missed a viral moment Joe I always do yeah

so it's this girl and she is out in the pits with her friend. She's an American girl and some guy goes, asks her a question like, what's the best thing to do for your man?

And then she responds with this. Oh God, it's so bad. Okay, ready? Move in bed, that makes a man go crazy every time. Oh, you gotta give him that hock too

and spit on that thing. She's not wrong. That girl now has a million followers. She's not wrong. That girl now has a million followers. She's a million followers. She's called herself the Hawk Tua girl. Imagine that was your kid though. You'd be like, oh no. She's got her own merch line now.

She's selling trucker caps with Hawk Tua on it. She had to go into hiding for a while. I'd probably buy a Hawk Tua trucker cap. She hit the nail on the head. Because let's face it that is an important moment in a sexual interaction can I just say

speaking of hock to a yeah there's the diary of a CEO that is so grim hock to a I know

diary of a CEO Steve Barlett very good podcast as we know but there is an episode on it which if anyone's it's so good it's with a good podcast as we know but there is an episode on it which if anyone's

it's so good it's with a woman called Dr. Karen Gurney and basically she's an orgasm expert and it's all about like the orgasm gap between men and women

and how how women actually don't really enjoy penitent sex the same amount as men it's fascinating just to kind of

for some balance from the hock to if you want actual information on sex it's fucking brilliant well that would be good for like no offence to men

but like for men to actually like listen to that and understand and it talks about like desire and it talks about long term relationships

and she has a book coming out now about how to keep wanting to have sex after you've had kids together it's I just found her fascinating

ooh I must watch that one because I like that and I like the ones that you sent me about Esther Perel you've sent me a few good things on her everyone has the desire

to be desired the mischief desire is stripped back she's a psychosexualist and couples therapist how technology oh yeah how technology

is killing her sex life so apparently we're having sex way less than we were 10 years ago because of like basically your iPod anyway it was just really really interesting

basically your iPod sorry yeah because you're too busy watching Housewives I think that there's like a gap in the day when you have to like

actually think about wanting to have sex I had said to Sven the other night I was like just so you know it's 8 o'clock and he's been mentioning

sex all day I was like just so you know it's 8 o'clock and about half 9 I'm not day. I was like, just so you know, it's eight o'clock and about half nine, I'm not going to, there's going to be no more windows open. I'm going to bed.

That's fair enough. Yeah. What she talks about, she's like, people expect, people wait to want to have sex to have sex. She's like,

you don't always want to have sex. Sometimes if you just start having sex, you'll want to have sex, which I mean, is not the information you want to give your fucking boyfriend. No, you don't, but it is actually a whole...

But it's all true. Yeah. Of course it is. Because once you, then you're like, actually, I really enjoyed that. Usually halfway through, I'm like, all right, go on then.

Yeah. Okay, I'll get it. Okay, I'll start moving. I'll turn the TV off. I actually... But it's true. I actually nearly ruined sex with Fanny last night because, as I said, I only watched the Hawk off I actually It's true I actually nearly ruined Sex with Fanny last night

Because As I said I only watched the Hock to her Curly essay And he was literally Wandering over it Like naked

To close the door And I did it I was like Hock to her And the both of us Were just like I didn't actually do it By the way

I mean I just made the noise You were trying to add A bit of light relief But you know When you start laughing so much It's like Oh my god How am I going to get into this?

I just better not look at him. Yeah, of course. Straight into the garden. That grass needs cutting. This is what Dr. Carmen speaks about a lot. The chat in your own head when you're having sex and stuff and she teaches you how to quieten it.

Anyway, I honestly just thought it was one of the most interesting podcasts I've ever listened to. Apart from our own, of course. Obviously, with all the information. Which is just as informative. I do think, though, that you can literally go out of your, like, you can start thinking about a million other things. I think that, like, a lot of sex is trying to concentrate as well.

That's exactly what it is. So if you're distracted with anything else, it could be work or say it's sex with someone you don't know that well. And you're like, is this OK? Are they having a good time? All that stuff. It stops you being in the moment and being aroused

speaking of sex so you know I have this situation I'm not having sex with you I told you that well that's not what you said that's what you publicly said privately I can't get you off me

I can't get enough go on you're in a situation I'm in a couple of situations well I'm not actually I'm at this point

lying about it I'm in one and I'm in a situation which situations well I'm not actually I'm not lying about it I'm in one and I'm in a situationship which is ticking along nicely he bought me a present he's like

what did he get you oh no is it a bad present he's like I got you a gift and I was like oh my god thank you so much

I don't know why is it so he got it off Timu and they're little satchels where you put your runners in

to wash them so they're yellow they're like little mops what so I googled them oh don't I have to show you this

I mean I know neither of us are naturally romantic but I was like this is this is very bad thank you this is

really really bad so this is I'll show don't there there they are them we're runners

what yeah what do you think Jo why do you have loads of I was like do you have loads of Do you have loads of

dirty runners or something? Well I don't know is that what he's saying? I was like you couldn't have got me a nice bra or something now? He's going to bring you over a box of fairy necks

and be like here you go Joanne. Sorry he got me two shoe washing machine bags. Shoe cleaning bag with zipper. Yeah. So I was like

that is stunning. Thank you so much. Really thoughtful. And then he sent me much really thoughtful and then he sent me is it and then he sent me a link to his Google calendar said if I wanted a midweek ride

to request to put in to book it in that I appreciate yeah he's like I take calls all day I said how how organised of you

so I went home and booked myself in for 4pm for the week, every day. Stunning. Thank you. I like that level of organisation. Of course you do. Very important.

Yeah. I'm going to do that to Svenny. Okay, right. I'll text him during the pod and see what he writes back. I'm going to say, can we give me an exact time today? Well, your man's appointments are only 30 minutes long. And I was like, that's way too long. I was like, I'm insulted.

I said, I was on Taskmaster. He's like okay put yourself in for an hour okay I'm going to say hey can we have sex at 4 at 3.55 before I leave today

let's see what he says 3.55 at 3.55 before I leave today where are you going I'm going to PST again yeah

no you're not I am but John and I are doing a live workout there oh my god this festival has everything

this festival like it's open because the thing is there and there's no big gigs on during the week they put on

like smaller gigs like it's a free workout for people a thousand people have already signed up like over a thousand people which means a hundred people

will show up but still yeah they're like flights you know you have to overbook and then see what happens. No, but that's the thing. It's so annoying because you're like,

when it's free, everyone's like, I'll go, I'll go. And then I'm like, no, come be arsed. Yeah, of course. Yeah, that is a problem. So I'm just basically just doing a PT with John on the stage. Because apparently people don't really value things that are free. I don't really value things.

That's why, did you ever hear the story, this was back when we were doing, when I was doing PR, we used to do these case studies where it's this vodka, it was like a shit vodka, just say it was just called like vodka. Do you know what I mean?

And it was dirt cheap and no one was buying it. And then they did absolutely nothing, just double the price. And then like the sales went through the roof. Really? Yeah, because people think if it's expensive, it must be better.

It's the same with skincare. Women are out there spending 100 quid on a face serum that you could literally get in boots for a fiver I have to be honest with you that stuff that I got sent La Prairie

like so I was saving it because it came in this really fancy box and I was saving it and then I was like maybe I'll give that to my mum as a present because it's so nice

and then I was like actually fuck her so then I was like I'm going to keep it for myself and then I was like it can't be this good. Because it's like, some of the stuff is 500 pounds a bottle.

What? Yes. Now, and I did, I tried it. And it's amazing. Is it though? Like, I just don't think any... I swear to God, you know that I wouldn't even say a word. But unfortunately, and I was very disappointed that it was so good.

Because like, some of the creams that are really expensive it's like oh well you can actually just get like a cheaper version of that and they're perfectly the same but I must admit now I'm scared for when

they run out I could smell it off spent it the other day and I've had to hide it now because I'm scared that he's going to keep using it but I'd love to come down and dip a little toe in

no one's allowed to touch it no way I even leave it out on the sink is it in the safe I know I leave it out touch it no way I even leave it out on the sink is it in the safe I leave it out on the sink so I can show it off oh it's one of those

it's like an ornamental face cream but I would say that if you spoke to any dermatologist any professional that they'd be like that's a load of

that's a load of wampum do you know where it's really good for skin care that is so basically it's not that it's white label because it is theirs

but it's like a decent price Beauty Pie and I've used loads of their stuff and it's reasonable and it's very good well they are do you know those green eye patches

that I always wear they are I'm surprised they're not on your face name they are Beauty Pie they're Detoxify very clever Detoxify with an E-Y

E-Y at the end and they're really good. And Sue Brophy, who does my hair and makeup in Ireland, put me onto them and she knows her shit. She's like, these are the best eye patches you can get.

I wonder if eye patches actually work because I do put a lot of eye patches on. Oh, and I use Trini's because I saw she gave it to you. She has this neck decolletage thing. Yes. That works. Nice on your neck.

That's a nice serum as well and and genuinely is it 111 Skin or Skin 111 oh I love

111 Skin 111 Skin do you remember you left some of them in my house in the fridge did I yeah you left two

I did you left two 111 Skin is also another brand and genuinely like I wouldn't I'm not like just fucking flogging for the sake but I think

but we just do a skincare podcast I do you know what just do like a beauty episode I love to do a beauty episode I was down with you and the other day I got my Botox

and we were talking about skincare I could talk about it all day whenever I go for a facial I never I never fall asleep because I always lie there

what's happening now and just ask them about everything. All different products. Another big shout out for skincare is the lasers that Debbie Thomas does. I love Debbie Thomas. They have a new laser you need to go and get.

And Susan Vaughan as well who we go to. She's Irish but she works out of the UK but she's doing a pop-up shop in August in Ireland as well. She does the Morpheus. She does this IPL laser that I've had done.

Anyway, look, we could talk about beauty all day. IPL is very good for pigmentation. People ask me about pigmentation. Spencer's written back, certainly. Not even a question of it. That is so funny.

3.55. And so polite. polite like of course it will accommodate you he got his haircut he got his haircut are we relieved and he won't stop going on about

how young he looks I kind of liked his long hair I know now you didn't see it like the way I had to see it like when it was like on top of me

coming down at me just like these long and his hair is had to see it. Like when it was like on top of me, coming down at me, just like these long... And his hair is so straight that it was just, it just was really weird. Okay, yeah. He looks like such a riot now. The long hair thing, it just doesn't tickle my boat. It's like... It's not tickling my boat, guys. My boat is untickled with that hair.

That's like Gigi though Gigi's completely turned off me with the short hair every time Hadley comes over the house to do my hair before a shoot

she's like are you putting long hair in mummy's hair and I'm like no that's because Gigi is ultimately going to go into drag she only wants

the long hair I had to threaten her the other day because I got word back because I didn't take her to gymnastics one week so when I go I make her like get involved and I got word back that she'd sat in her to gymnastics one week so when I go I make her like get involved

and I got word back that she'd sat in gymnastics and done nothing and just sat on the side and wouldn't get involved so I was like Gigi if you go to gymnastics today

and I hear you didn't do it I'm booking you back into ballet you want to see her doing tumbles and flips does she hate ballet she hates it so much that it's now a threat

like she's gone to a summer camp today and I was like Alexander's dropping you off at the summer camp. If I hear you didn't go in, I'll be ringing ballet. She's like, I think Gigi just, her destiny is just to be kind of laid out on a velvet cushion on a throne and just be waited on hand and foot by people.

100%. She has a new trick. She's like, she won't even take her scooter or bike. She's like, no, I want to walk. I want to walk. And then honestly, in 20 meters,

she's like, I'm too tired. I need to sit in the buggy. And she'll just scream and cry. She knows exactly what she's doing. There was a divorce recently.

I don't know if you saw this, because the woman found out that her husband has been purposely tightening all of the jar lids for the last five years. Because she's like, it's not, it's okay if he's there, but when he's not, I have to open a new jar. He repeatedly tightened all of the jar lids in their kitchen to the point that she could never open anything. His over-tightening jar lids has been an issue since he was just visiting at my house when

we were dating. First, it started with just things he used and then over time it became every damn jar with a metal lid he tightened so much I couldn't open them without assistance I still can't

I read that and I was like I still don't understand she's saying he did it on purpose to fuck with her she's saying it was like to drive her mad

and drive her slowly insane and have her basically sectioned it's not like she didn't know what he was like before she married him.

So there's certain things like that that drive you. Like there's a situation going on in my house at the moment, right? And Spenny basically gets a teaspoon and he picks out

some almond butter, pours it on top of his yogurt and then puts the teaspoon straight into the dishwasher. I've told him about 15 times the peanut butter does not come off the teaspoon in the dishwasher. I've told him about 15 times, the peanut butter does not come off the teaspoon in the dishwasher. So every time I empty the dishwasher, I have to wash the spoon again. And it's driving me mad. I said it to him again yesterday. I was like, we need to have a chat about this peanut butter. Yeah. I mean, so that's

what happened to her. She's like, I can't do it with the jars. But is she not kind of saying, like, she's like, there are literally no other issues no cheating no abuse we've good sex we both have good jobs no financial issues he was blindsided

because he went on holidays for 10 days and he tightened all the jam jar all the jar lids and she had to get the neighbours in to help her

so when he came home she was like I want a divorce and she said he was completely blindsided I know how to save that marriage stab a hole in the top

so get a knife stab a hole in the top and then it just opens oh 100% surely there's but I suppose if you think someone's trying to slowly ruin your life

I mean it's weird if I go home today and there's another spoon in the dishwasher with almond butter on it I will lose my shit I'd only care if he tightened the lid on my pill box otherwise I couldn't give a shit I'd only care if he tightened the lid

on my pill box otherwise I couldn't give a shit I'd be like I don't need the fucking chutney I'll just get Deliveroo but if you if you block my bed a blocker is in a jar

good luck to you did you hear about the woman in New Zealand who took her boyfriend to to court because he didn't take her to the airport

I read something about this yeah so she took her boyfriend to court because he didn't take her to the airport. I read something about this, yes. So she took her long-term boyfriend to a disputes tribunal for breaching a verbal contract by failing to take her to the airport. So that meant she missed a flight and a concert and had to delay her travel by a day. She said that she'd been in a relationship

with the man for six and a half years and she basically wants money back for what she missed. And then they had booked a trip to go on a ferry and she wants wants money back for what she missed and then they had booked a trip to go on a ferry and she wants the money back from that trip as well because now they're

breaking up because she doesn't want to be able to go anywhere I mean I just never know how I feel there's part of me that agrees

and part of me that doesn't like I live to the airport it's a sacred thing it's a sacred thing and when I like I've gone out with men

who obviously I fly a lot for work and I'm always in. And when I, like I've gone out with men who obviously I fly a lot for work and I'm always in and out of those places. And I've gone out with men and I knew the relationship was falling apart when they stopped collecting me from the airport. Genuinely. I was like, he's falling out of love with me.

I don't know how, you get people to pick you up all the time. I wouldn't even pick up Spenny from the airport. I wouldn't. But Jess, I knew that man no longer loved me because he was like I'll see you back at the house

and I was like okay and you know what Dublin airport's like to get out of there's no train there's no dirt there's no loose you have to either get a bus

you have to get a taxi or a bus and I was like this man hates me and that was how I knew he was having an affair I'm sorry but I think the fact

that you've like I don't think I've ever had a man love me enough to pick me up from the airport never what

no way well it's such an annoying job it's such an annoying job but I will it's different in London because it's so well connected

Dublin is it's like I'm talking about Dublin my dad used to pick me up all the time and then he died and no one else would pick me up

god dang that was it it's like it's like trying to get out of a zoo it really is it's very difficult it's a nightmare yeah so out of a zoo It really is It's very difficult It's a nightmare

Yeah so I agree I think that girl If it was Dublin Zoo I'd be like yeah Sorry not Dublin Zoo Dublin Airport Dublin Zoo has excellent Transport links

Are you talking about That tiny little train That the kids go around in Even if they had one of those Choo choo trains Coming out of Dublin Airport It'd be better than What they have now

Honest to God Like it drives me mad Well they should really Even if they had one of those choo-choo trains coming out of Dublin Airport it'd be better than what they have now. Honest to God. Like it drives me mad. Well, they should really I thought they were extending the Lewis. God, we're such old grandmothers. I saw a tweet going around recently where someone said I've just heard someone arrive

in Dublin Airport and ask where the train is. Ha ha, they'll soon learn. It's every man for himself. You have to hitchhike out of that place. But even over here now I'll get the door because I live in Hoth and it's really handy to get the doors. But himself you have to hitchhike out of that place but even over here now I like I'll get the dart because I live in Hoth

and it's really handy to get the dart but like you have to go because the dart is every like 25 minutes Joe the dart is a train in Ireland and

Dublin area rapid transport and and then you get over to London and you look and you're down in the tube and you're like four minutes

fuck four minutes I have to wait here for four minutes what am I going to do for four minutes I know so you minutes. I have to wait here for four minutes. What am I going to do for four minutes? I know. So you know the way we have a real problem with people crying on Instagram?

I certainly do. Yes, yes. I can't. I just can't. Because I know that you've picked up your phone to film yourself crying. Like, no. It's the setup. It's the setup.

When you really think, when you dig down, you think about the setup up it's the sad up when you really think when you dig down you think about the sad up it's the sad up is the issue really I was watching this video the other day of this woman

and she's like if you're travelling alone as a woman this is how you sleep in the airport and she's like putting a bag under her knees

and through her legs and then the other bag is on her back and then she's got her little necktie and then like it's just this guy and he runs up to her phone

which is filming her from like two metresie and then like it's just this guy and he runs up to her phone which is filming her from like two metres away and robs it and just runs off so she'd done everything but she was recording herself from a distance and someone just

it was a made up story but anyway oh yeah I was going to say that I saw that and I was like I didn't think that was real no it was made up oh fine yeah

but anyway did you see the mom right who was filming herself for TikTok and it went really viral and the caption she was like went really viral and the caption she was like bawling

crying and the caption was being a single mom is making your own cake on your birthday so that your babies can feel happy they are singing to you

first of all no one asked you to make the cake on your own by the way you could have gone to Marks and Spencer's and got a unicorn cake or one of the

Colin the Caterpillar I saw that and before I knew the background to it I was quite moved by it actually I was moved I to it I was quite moved by it actually I was moved I moved around I never saw

I only ever saw the one of people being like okay you're standing there crying filming yourself so I only saw the funny side to it but then the dad

of the kids like put up this whole thing saying that basically she didn't have any custody of the kids she was a really terrible mom she never had the kids

in her company. So like what she was doing was complete bullshit. And he showed their custody agreements and everything. A little fraudster online. I'm always shocked. Like how do they think they won't get stung for that? That's my query. Do they care? Like are they, do they not

realize that the dad is going to bite back and try and fight his corner? I suppose you wouldn't, I don't think she would have thought it would have probably gone as viral as it did but remember you told me about your one Belle Gibson. I watched that show that is the most insane thing I've ever seen

and then I watched her 60 Minutes thing and she's like and your one's like, so Belle Gibson was an influencer and she basically bullshitted people telling she was sick, she had cancer and she'd cured her cancer was an influencer and she basically bullshitted people telling she was sick she had cancer and she'd cured her cancer with nice food and she had a book deal and all this

all of it was complete bullshit yeah but then what she well she did have a book deal that was the problem I know but then she comes out and she does a 60 minute interview

trying to make people feel bad for her and she's like the woman's like so what age are you and she goes well I believe I'm 26 it's like

what age are you like just don't lie about everything she's like I've been raised to believe that I'm 26. It's like, what age are you? Like, just don't lie about everything. She's like, I've been raised to believe that I'm 20. And she's like, what age are you? I know. It's such a good show. Because she made herself older, didn't she?

I think that was the issue. Yeah, I know. Yeah, that was wild. She's interesting. She's so beautiful though, Belle Gibson, isn't she? I couldn't, like, I have a real problem with liars. I don't care. Oh, what I mean, yeah,

it's not ideal now. It's not, it's not fantastic. She is a con woman, really. It's more than just a liar. She's a con woman. Yeah, she made an absolute fortune

from all that. Yeah. And then she said she donated a lot to the charities and she never did. I didn't donate anything to charities.

No, no, no, no, no. That was the worst bit now. It's like, that's like stealing from the troker box, but like a big troker box. I know you've stolen from the troker box. I did that.

I would be comparing the two. Pretending you cured cancer with a blueberry and tricking all these people into thinking you can do the same. And me just stealing a couple of punt from the troker box. A couple of punt. Those things were so heavy.

And if they weren't heavy, you weren't doing your job. Because everyone was putting two P's in them. Joanne just sent me a video. Look at that ass. Don't send me things like this. It's so... Like, come on.

I found the most beautiful woman on Instagram. Oh my God. I never want to see her. Not a little spot in sight. No, I love her. Fucking love you, bitch. I wonder what she does to get her ass like that. Not a little spot in sight. No, I love her. Fucking love you, bitch. I wonder what she does

to get her ass out that way. Not a little bum rash. But what does she do? Vogue? Yes. I have a little, I've put together a quiz for you. If there's more than one question

I don't want to get involved in it, I text you yesterday asking for a one question quiz. You know I always under deliver on these things. Perfect. Is there even a question in this? It's half a question.

It's half a question. It's more just a photo wow I can't wait now Vogue yes Vogue Williams yes Joanne McNally what land animal

when moving at full speed on land all four of their feet are regularly in the air for brief moments which means they're technically flying.

What continent is the animal from? I'm ready to know that. They're around. They're around. Okay. Now, there aren't many in London, I will say. Not in the wild. I'm going to say cheetah.

Good guess. But wrong. But wrong. Joe, how do you know? Because I saw it. It's a hipp Good guess. But wrong. But wrong. Joe, how do you know? Because I saw it. It's a hippopotamus. It's a hippo! A hippo would have been last on my list.

I know. Hippos can fly. Oh my God. For short bursts of time. Do you know how interesting hippos are? You know, they can go, so they can't breathe underwater, but they have this mechanism

that like they can drop themselves underwater to sleep. And while they're still sleeping, their body will bring them back up so they can't breathe underwater but they have this mechanism that like they can drop themselves underwater to sleep and while they're still sleeping their body will bring them back up so they can get more air in and then they go back down again because they actually can't smart little bitches aren't they

you ever dunk on your hippo and he'll eat you they're very and they're not even carnivores they're vegetarians they'll just eat you to piss you off anyway hippos can fly

imagine seeing a hippo flying past you do you remember it's good isn't it Jo yeah Jo loves the quizzes the reason being I'm getting into I'm starting my new thing is pub quizzes I've decided to park the crossfit for the moment Do you remember? It's good, isn't it, Jo? Yeah, Jo loves the quizzes. The reason being, I'm getting into,

I'm starting, my new thing is pub quizzes. I've decided to park the CrossFit for the moment and I've decided... You cancelled the personal trainer, you're getting back into pub quizzes. It's pub quizzes.

I'm like, how can I go back into pubs in a more ethical way? It's good for the mind. It's good for the mind. You're very educational, learning. So I'm starting

to do some research now so that when I go, when I start going into pub quizzes, I can kind of shark the mind. It's good for the mind. You're educational, learning. So I'm starting to do some research now so that when I go, when I start going into pub quizzes, I can kind of shark the room. Oh my God, I was going to invite you on holidays and I haven't booked it yet, but I thought this would be great for you. I'm thinking of going to Centre Parcs. Centre Parcs! You're not the first person to invite me there. I went to Centre Parcs years ago. This is not an ad or anything, by the way. And it is unbelievable. Yeah, I heard that.

And I heard they do kind of cater to adults also. Yeah. It's like a little house in the forest. And I do love a bit of nature. Yeah. What would I do? I could write. When are you going?

No, you'll go in the swimming pool and you'll go on all the slides. You can go horse riding. You can do a pottery class sorry I don't do water parks do you not no why

I never have why not since my Veruca days I thought I had a Veruca the other day I'm not safe there I don't like the underwater splashiness

I feel like it's getting like it's like getting waterboarded I don't understand why anyone would go out of enjoyment Veruca's don't exist anymore I haven't seen a Veruca on anyone in a long time

have you seen a Veruca? well no but I don't hang around kids paddling pills but I'm pretty sure I had to wear the little white socks and everything so did I but I hang around kids paddling pills

haven't got one thing I went on a water slide two water slides in Dubai wait till you hear this so I was filming in Dubai we were doing it was when I used to do this travel show

and we were in Dubai and they were like Vogue you go on the water slides and I was like okay cool and one of them you went through a shark tank and I was like

grand I did that once that was fine and then there was another one that you stood in it and the floor dropped from under your feet so you go and I was

I know but I was like I don't really want to do it I don't really want to do it so they're waiting at the end to film me so I had to do it so someone was at the top filming

someone was waiting at the end didn't I stop halfway through the body wasn't wet. So I had to do it. So someone was at the top filming. Someone was waiting at the end. Didn't I stop halfway through? The body wasn't wet enough. And I had to crawl back up the slide and climb out. They have different exit points. And then I got out and they were like, well, we really need to get you at the end. And I was like, please don't make me do it again.

I had to do it again. So you were kind of lacking like... I wasn't slippy. I needed the loop you weren't slippy enough oh my god yeah it was awful imagine getting stuck

in one of them trying to have to push it out of your way you should have hucked yourself I'm alright slowly slipping forward with each spit

oh just before we go I'll be in America for October I'm going to Portland I'm going to Seattle I'm going to Denver Denver

Denver Denver? What in four Denver's? That can't be right Even I knew that Here I'm going to have to talk on to the Irish Embassy

in Denver or something I need to that's going to need a lot of help I'm going to and then I'm meeting the Irish Embassy in Denver or something I need to that's going to need a lot of help I'm going to and then I'm meeting you in Boston and New York

for Ghosted and Toronto and then we're going to Toronto for Ghosted and then I'm going back to Washington DC Nashville Dallas

Austin Austin Austin Austin oh my god that's a lot of Austin it's a lot of Denver I have a friend in Denver

for you Well You could go skiing I don't know what I don't know how we're going to make her spread Across the four shows We're going to have to do something Okay well listen We'll talk to you later

See you later guys Also keep sending your emails in to us please It's hello Oh yeah It's hello yeah it's hello at mtgmpod.com please chat to us tell us your bits and bobs we'd love to hear them Bye.