Bonus Episode: A Smorgasbord of Gossip with Nadira Goffe
00:00Hello, my beautiful little gossip birds.Before we start today's show, I want to shout out another member of the Radiotopia family, Radio Diaries.For almost three whole decades, radio diaries has been helping people document their own lives and histories.And now they're back with a new series called Orson Wells and the Blind Soldier about a small town crime that sparked the desegregation of the U.S. military.In 1946, a black World War II veteran named Isaac Woodard was blinded by a white police officer.Nobody knew who the officer was or where the attack happened.But when famed director Orson Wells found out about the attack, he pledged to not only broadcast it, but solve it.On the radio, week by week.
00:47Wash your hands, officer, X, wash them well, scrub and scour.You won't blot out the blood of a blinded war veteran.You're going to be uncovered.We will blast out your name.And I will find means to remove from you all refuge, Officer X.You can't get rid of me.This series is a riveting true crime investigation told by descendants, activists,and the last known witness to the attack.
01:13Listen to Orson Wells and the Blind Soldier out now wherever you get your podcast or at Radiotopia.fm.Hello and welcome.Welcome to normal gossip. I'm your host, Rachel Hampton. And in each episode of this podcast,we are going to bring you an anonymous morsel of gossip from the real world. Hello, y'all.I know this is a bit of a surprise. I know we said we wouldn't be back until summer. And that istechnically true. We will not be back with a full regular gossip story until the summer. We areworking on our production calendar right now for season 10 All-Stars. And I am so,excited for y'all to hear. But in the meantime, I did feel just a tiny bit guilty for not being able
02:05to do that finale episode of season nine, even though y'all have been so kind and lovely in theresponse to that finale episode. It has truly been one of the most humbling experiences of mylife to be supported in this way. I can't even think about it too much or else I'll cry.So I can't say how much I appreciate that. So I'm going to stop talking about that. What I'm notgoing to stop talking about is this a very exciting little bonus episode that we have for you guys.If you were a subscriber to the show at the friend or friend of a friend level, you have alreadyheard this. Most of y'all are not, though you can if you want to get the early goss. This is oneof our subscriber episodes with one of my all-time favorite guest, Nadira Gaw, where we react
02:59to some gossip morsels that neither one of us had heard before the recording. That maybe explainsthe unhinged quality of this episode. I really hope you guys enjoy. I am beyond excited to welcomeNadira Gop back to the show. You might remember her from season eight, a devilishHorde of Pestilence, one of the best episodes that we have ever published.Naderah, hello, welcome back.Thank you for joining me.Hi, thanks for having me.Can I share a small piece of gossip, which is nothing other than a horrendous thing
03:41that happened on the subway this morning on my way into the office.I was sitting there, minding my business on a morning where, like, nothing goes right,you know, the way some mornings are.And there was a man.A man across from me who was eating a pear on the subway, but he, this was the first, this wasthe red flag at first. He took off the sticker and he threw the sticker on the ground.Not littering. He took off this, yes. Then he took off the stem and he threw the stem on the ground.Not littering times two. And then he proceeded to eat this pair in the most horrendous fashion
04:15where he would like take pieces of skin that were like falling off as he was eating it andthrow them on the ground. And then he proceeded to throw the-the core of the pear on the ground.And I thought it was over.But it turns out he had two pairs.And he ate the second pair that way.And then he was like in a rush to get to where he was going.He left all the pear carcass on the ground and his water bottle, his full essential water bottle.
04:42And I was traumatized.And that's my gossip for you this morning.Wait, wait, wait.So were you on the subway platform?Were you already on the train when this happened?No, we were on the train.That's even worse.Okay, sometimes, I'm sure you've had this experience where you get onto a train car and you see a pile of garbage.
05:00And you're like, where did that come from?What kind of person would do that?And now you have informed me what kind of person would do that.And I don't know if it's worse to encounter the pile of trash without the person who made it or seeing the pile of trash being made.I think they're equally bad because one is without context, right?That's scary.I don't know where that came from.No, exactly.
05:19But then once you have the context, you're like, that's scary.Now I know where that came from.And I don't like either of them.Is ignorance bliss?Maybe.Well, sometimes.Sometimes.Oh.
05:31Also, why are you throwing the skin away?I don't understand because that's where all the fiber is.Literally, I was going to say that's where the fiber is.And I say this is someone who loves pears.Pairs are my favorite fruit or one of my favorite fruits.And it just felt so wrong to see them done so dirty like that.But when he pulled out the second pair, my face.Oh God, I wish someone was videotaping me.
05:55The face that I made, I'm sure, when he pulled out that second pair, was probably very transparent.It was the plot twist of the century.Two pair.I thought we were done.I thought we were done with the carnage.This sequel that no one asked for.Thank you for that gossip.I will now be looking at every pile of trash that I encounter on the subway with even
06:21more disdain and deep sorrow than I was beforehand.So after the gift that I gave you on our last episode where I traumatized you with roaches,I only feel like you, thank you for giving it back to me.I appreciate that.This is an equal exchange of information.I do.And you're right.Okay.
06:43Are you ready for some other gossip?I am.Some hopefully more hinged gossip.I can't promise that.Right.Roll the tapes.When I was younger, I worked at a very chic coffee shop and a trendy neighborhood.It was very expensive and just quintessential 2015 hipster vibes.
07:04With the exception of the two beautiful Greek daddy brothers sit on a place,I worked with mostly women, which honestly, I loved.After a couple of months of me working there, they hired a new barista.He was very cute, and I made a feeling that this would not end well.We further each other a lot, but we try to keep it low-key due to how strictly owners were about running the shop.One night I came in for a closing shift, and I noticed it would just be the barista and I worked in together.We spent the shift cracking jokes, making eyes at each other, you know, as you do.And after a busy night, the shift was finally over, so I locked the front door and we were alone at last.
07:38I started doing the typical closing duties, which included things like sweeping, mopping, storing leftover food, and cleaning the bathroom.I grabbed the supplies and went to get started on the bathroom, but when I turned around, the barista was standing in the doorway.He walks into the bathroom with me, closes the door, and immediately pends me against the wall.We proceed to make out for the next 30 minutes or so, but we eventually pull ourselves together and finish our closing duties.I left that night hoping things are progressing even further in the future.I mean, preferably not at work, but I was feeling optimistic, nonetheless.The next day I wake up with a new glow as I head off to work with the bounce in my stab, listening to music, you know, all the things you do when you have a new crush.but when I walk from the door, I can already feel a heaviness in the room.
08:22One of the extremely hot owners pulls me inside and tells me to meet him out back.When I walk outside, I notice the breecist and they're looking very nervous.The gorgeous Greek daddy joins us and begins to question us about the night before.Now, I assume he's going to question us about the bathroom rendezvous, but he never does.He tells us to go home for the day and come back at seven, which felt very ominous.We both arrive around the same time looking like lambs being led to the slaughterhouse.The door to the back storage building flies open and one of the brothers tells thebarista to follow him.
08:54He's in there for around an hour until finally the door opens and a barista runs off with tears in his eyes.The unbelievably sexy man tells me, I'm next.When we enter the storage shed, it is completely dark with the exception of one lightilluminating a chair that sits under it.One of the daddies pushes me forward and asks me to sit.Now, I'm not going to lie,I was way more turned on than I probably should have been, but they proceeded to question me like a murder suspect for the next 30 minutes.Part of me wanted to say, like, God, we just made out, can y'all chill?
09:25But before I get seen her the word, one of the owners walks to the light and throws an iPad on my lap.It's very familiar to me because it's the one we use as a register.After giving it a closer look, I noticed the screen is covered in cracks.He tells me that the barista has no idea what happened, and he's hoping I can shed some light on the situation.I sit in my thoughts for a moment before insisting that I have no.no idea how this happened, and I begged them to believe me.After another 30 minutes, I finally leave the dark shed feeling exhausted, but also disappointedthat I didn't get to Eiffel Tower with the Greek brothers.
09:56The next morning I called into the office.The brothers are both sitting there looking fine as always, as they sit me down and tellme they believe my story, and they've decided to fire the barista.I am so excited to hear this and so thankful that I get to keep my job and get to lustover these beautiful men a little longer.I continue my shift and everything goesback to normal. The followingmonths passed and things feel better than ever.
10:21But even in the joyI've seen the Daddy Brothers every day,I still found myselffeeling awful about the barista being fired,especially since I'm the onethat cracked the iPad.I knew it. Thank you so much for listeningto my gossip and please don't
10:36hate me. I'm so sorryto my producers for havingto listen to me scream.I, oh my God, what a story.Can we just, let's start, let's start with A.You are an incredible storyteller.Incredible storytelling.Be incredible boys.
10:55Very soothing.I was locked the buck in from me.No, literally, do you want to host normal dogs?Have our jobs.Oh my God.The Greek Daddy Brothers, the bathroom.This is like a Wattadde.Literally.
11:14The reveal at the end.The fact that everyone was hot all the time.and also DTF all the time.No, it's really giving the summary turned pretty.But rated R.Yes, yes, it is.Oh my God.This was beautiful gossip.
11:36Can we talk about, can we rewind for a second?Yes, we can.And talk about, like, yes, everyone is hot.And this was really engaging and lovely.But those Greek Zaddy brothers were definitely, like, in the Greek mafia, right?Like, there's no way.because how do you, why do you have an interrogation shed?In your coffee shop?
11:55Why does your coffee shop have an interrogation shed?That is such a good point.There's a Greek mafia?No.Well, if there is, they're in, I don't know.I didn't know the Greeks were doing it like that.And you know what?You're probably right.
12:12You're definitely right.They definitely have their own yakuza.Like, I, that's my bad for not knowing.Um, no, these Greek daddy brothers were definitely part of the Greek yakuza.Because, yeah, the single chair under a light bulb and a shed is like either that or they've watched too many fucking movies.That's a torture tactic.What is this James Bond?You're running a coffee shop, not a crime ring.
12:38I also thought it was so funny.I thought that there was going to be an added reveal of like the iPad was cracked, but money was stolen or something.and it turns out that it was just a cracked iPadand I'm like, well, a three-year-old could have done that.No, exactly. That's what happenswhen your point of sales system is glass.Right, right.Anyone could have broken an iPad.
12:57It just falls off the counter.You're working with liquids all day.That feels like a very normal thing to happen.You should have insured your iPad, Greek daddy brothers.That's your own fucking fault.Really sad that this anonymous caller in.Yeah, we're bringing that back.didn't get a chance to have his sexual fantasy with the Greek Zaddy brothers.
13:18I'm hoping that's the next voice memo, quite frankly.Because I, when I heard we were walking into a dark room with one chair and a single light bulb,I heard time to perform for your life.Time to lip sync for your life, baby.Also, the like sheer rush, the watt pad fanfic rush of we were alone after closing this coffee shop.and he was in the doorway and then he pinned me up against the wall.I was like, ho, oh, oh, wow.It's not even 5 p.m. What's happening?
13:54Exactly same.I was just like, this is exactly what I thought working in a coffee shop would be like.I had a long-held dream as a child to work in a coffee shop and I never have.And now as an adult, I now just think everyone who works at a coffee shop is stronger than the Marines,especially because I say my order wrong every single time.And I'm always like, I'm so sorry.get the same thing every single time. I don't know why I'm like this. And I'm just, I'm the lesserend of the customer spectrum. It gets worse than that. And baristas are canonically hot. Like,
14:28I've always had a fantasy of having a little romance with a barista. Nadira, let me tell you,the guy who owns the coffee shop near me, I'm pretty sure is A, Italian, B, where the little gold chainand C is so hot. Salt, pepper, I, he compliments him.my glasses and I was like, so you love me.You love me.This is tea because for thosewho don't know, we live like a less than25 minute walk from each other. And we will not
14:56be saying in what neighborhood forprivacy reasons. For obvious reasons.Yes, exactly. And so therefore,I can find, I cango and you can go and why do you think I'mgiving this information? And you knowwhat? So you want to get coffee?I would love to.
15:28Okay.On to the next.I hope it brings me just as much joy.I have a really good friend.His name is .And he and I absolutely love to look at next doorand screenshot people going crazy about like the usual dog poop and fireworks.Like that's the big two.
15:50And we've tried to figure out ways we could like have a fake next door account,which is kind of hard to do and like shitpost and troll.but we just kind of make ourselves happy by just partaking and commenting in the background because we love that stuff.And I also love revenge. It is our favorite thing to do. And when we go camping with our families,usually everybody is like doing camping stuff and we're sitting off to the side plotting revenge plots against people who have,we have perceived to have wronged us. And, you know, it's always like good-spirited, but the plotsare always like Baroque.B'Hs lives in my neighborhood.
16:33And one day I'm walking my dog with my girlfriend and her dog.And her dog poops.She bags it up and is carrying it.And I was like, oh, hey, there's this place.Why don't we just drop it off in his garbage can?He won't care.So we go up to his place.And then I was like, oh, wait, I can do even better.
16:57And he had a brand new Tesla.And so I grabbed the bag of bagged dog poop and put it on the hood of his Tesla.And I was actually thinking, I'll circle back around and grab it or I need to text him and tellhim that it was me.And we go for our walk.And I completely forget that this happens.So later on, I'm on next door and I see that he has posted.And I think I could probably find the post because I screenshot it.
17:26But it was literally something along the lines of.To whomever placed dog feces on the hood of my Tesla.Do you have something against me in particular, or is it just Tesla's?You know, we are adults here, and if you have any grievances, maybe you can talk to me instead of throwing poop.And I will have you know that I have recalibrated my security cameras and Tesla cameras.camera, so I will catch you. And then that whole thing just blows up. And I am reading with likehorror because everyone's just like, oh my God, what is wrong with this world that we live in now?People are just horrible and like, yeah, he's just going full next door. And I'm like, oh,
18:22shit. And so I let it go on for a while. And then I screenshot it and I sent it.the screenshot to him and I go, it was me.Way to go next door!Exclamation point. And he just text me back.You fucker.Okay. I feel like we have multiple places to start.But before we actually get into the voice memo, I must say that when Nadeer heard we loverevenge, she thought it was referring to the television show, which means that I must
19:02I must say that I have seen the first season of revenge at least three times,but I have never continued past it.That show is bad shit crazy.I love every single part of it.Like why?I love it so much.They don't make network television like they used to.At all.
19:17Whoa.At all.And you know what?Someone call us up.We've got ideas.We've got thoughts.We've got feelings.The way I watched that show and thought, I could write this.
19:27All we need is a crazy plot line and a black wig.Right.Right. Exactly. Exactly. Down to this actual story. Yes. Uh-huh.Not to be, I hate to reduce most things to this. There is a racial divide. Yes.I felt listening to this because that is just something, putting poop on your friend's car is just something that not all communities would do.Yeah. Or think it's funny. No, I would have thought I had been hate crimes quite frankly.Exactly. Exactly. Which I do, I want to say, I appreciate hearing about the freedom that other communities have in their pranks because I'm like, that sounds so lovely to be able to do whatever you want and not be worried that it's a hate crime.Also, the next door of it all is very, I would say, of a specific community. This is no shade, no tea, quite frankly. Like next door, I have downloaded exactly once.
20:32because I kept seeing these dogs in my backyard that had no collars.And I was like, these are huskies.These are very clearly expensive dogs.Whose fucking dogs are these?It's raining.Bring them inside.It's Brooklyn.Like, what the hell is going on?
20:49And I had it on my phone for maybe four hours.And I immediately was like,ha, bad vibes.Horrendous vibes.What's going on here?They keep trying to get me to join with their little emails like a cult.And I'm like, no.No. No, you shall not get me.
21:04You won't be getting me. You shall not get me.You won't be getting me. But I do love the idea of a friendship being for them based onscreenshoting other people's next door posts and talking shit about them.That is pretty fucking funny to me because I would love to know which of my neighbors arecuckoo bananas.And in New York, it's so hard to figure that out.And I feel like having next door would really, in a neighborhood where I couldsee where everyone's houses was and like every building didn't house like conservatively 24 people
21:37it would be so nice to be like that person over there she is really fucking angry aboutrecycling i want to know that that's community yes and it's fun and it's gossip quote unquoteum i also love any friendship that's based off of just like people watching or yeah the sort offantasy revenge plot.I was honestly a little crestfallenwhen the caller in mentionedtheir girlfriend because I was hoping, as ahopeless romantic that I am, that I'd be like,
22:10oh my God, you're going camping with your friend allthe time, and you're like coming up with these fake scenariosabout all these other people, like, maybe you're in love. No,you're not. You're just friends who like to give each othershit. And you know what? That's so fun.Romance can be platonic.And it is, but I was hopingfor the romantic kind of romance.
22:26And that's real. And that's real.Listen, life is long.We never know what's going to happen.And you know what?You're so right.And this is how delusional people stay delusional because their friends don't hold them accountable.And instead put fire to their fantasies.It's called leaving room for the big areas of life.
22:44You know, no one ever knows what's going to happen.Life is long.I say it all the time.I love the idea that this friend has sort of like radicalized their friend into becoming one of the next door people that they laugh.about all the time. Yeah, they really did. Is he going to continue posting on Next Door now?Like, did he update the next door people on what happened or did he just let them spin out?That's so funny. I do. Yeah, I want an addendum to this story. I also think it's hilarious thathe was like, do you hate Teslas and Elon Musk or do you hate me? He's like, one of those is
23:22acceptable. The other one, hit me up in the comments below. Because I would be the same. I would be like,Do you hate my court?Do you hate me?Please don't hate me.I'm just a little guy.Like, what did I do wrong?I'm just a girl.Yeah, no, it's so true.
23:37I would not.That is really funny.He's like, come talk to me directly if you have issues with me.Otherwise, let's be adults about this.I also love the Game of Thrones, like tell Cursie.I want her to know it was me ending.That was fun.That was fun.
23:51That was really great.I really appreciated that she let him go through all of that and then was like,Hello.I did it.Wow.Beautiful self-gossip.I love neighborhood drama.I'm never going to look at a bag of dog poop the same.
24:11No, never.Though I don't look at them often.But yeah, exactly.I will never look at them the same again is correct.Next.So I used to work in broadcast commercials,and we had like a ton of interns comingin and out. I started as an intern and then there's this like promise of moving up to the shipping
24:33department and then the apprentice department and then becoming an assistant editor and it would takeyears and it was and and everybody worked all night all the time and there was like beer on tap inthe office so we were drinking together all the time and going out and it just was like a verygross company culture where everyone was sleeping together very very prone to gossip of courseand we one year got an intern and she was fine.She was like a little snooty about having to like do the intern duties, which included liketaking out the trash sometimes or like cleaning the kitchen.We were all just like, girl, you have to do this.
25:14Sorry.Like we did it.I did it.I'm training you how to do it.Get over it.But whatever.Relatively uneventful internship, she, her internship ends and she gets hired.we hear at one of our vendors.
25:29So when we finish editing a commercial,it would go to the color people who are,you know,it's a whole other company and they would color correct the commercial.So she gets hired there as a receptionist.And the boss there,who we know,because we're there all the time,
25:47is like,oh, we're so excited to have she,you know,her resume had you guys on it.And that's why we hired her.And like, she's great.We love her.We were like, oh, so cool, so cool.
25:59And then, like, rumbling start kind of going around our company.When you get to go to, like, a color session, it was, like, really exciting.And it was, like, kind of, like, a sign of, like, moving up because you're, like, responsible.And you can, like, be the face of the company.And you got to have lunch with the clients and just, like, sit there all day.It was great.So it was always very exciting when you got to go.And then people would come back.
26:20And you'd be like, how was the color session?And they'd be like, ah, good.But, like, didn't say, how.hi to me. Like, how rude. And then someone else being like, oh, I was there yesterday. And she was sonice to me. She remembered me. And she said hi and blah, blah. And then I remember finally going andseeing this woman behind the receptionist desk. And I was like, that's not.Turns out, has a twin sister. No joke. And apparently got the job and didn't want it. And hersister wanted to break into the business but had no experience. The way we found this out was because
26:58during one of these like crazy industry parties that that color company was throwing, we were talkingto the boss who loved so much. And we were like, we noticed that she was gone. She hadn't been therein a while. And we were like, oh, so how's it going with? And he was like, oh, don't even get mestarted. And we were like, oh shit, did you figure it out? And he was like, what do you mean? Did wefigure it out. Did you guys know this whole time? We were like, no, no, no. We just, we, we,we figured it out like last week and we weren't sure and whatever. But then his story was thatshe had left her Facebook page open and other coworkers like saw it and reported her basically.And then he called her into a conference room and was like, tell me what your name is.
27:46And her response was my real name. They didn't press charges.But they did fire her.And the really sad thing is that her boss was like she was the best receptionist that we've ever had.Okay.Okay.I know that allegedly crimes were done here.But I must say I am on the side of the twin sisters here.I think they were right.
28:13Pause.If you have a twin, these are the types of shenanigans you need to be doing.Everyone who has a twin and identical twin and hasn't pulled like aSweet Life of Zach and Cody ass heist or crime or con like this, get to the back.This is not, this is, you're wasting your God-given opportunity.This is the only justification for adult identical twins because otherwise, I'm not going tolie, they kind of freak me out.They, they kind of freak me out.
28:43I'm sorry.I'm sorry.Whenever I see an adult identical twin, I'm like, that's against nature.The hijinks.The hijinks.shenanigans.There were two of me?Oh, oh, baby.
28:58I'm so twin down.Like, I'm so, I'm on their side.No, literally same.Literally same.From the beginning when first twin said,why am I cleaning up garbage?Why am I taking out the garbage and cleaning the kitchen as an intern at abroadcasting company?
29:13That's not the job of an intern.That's the job of a paid person.You didn't also, was this internship paid?No one ever said.So that's A.I agree with her for being like.love a socialist twin. Why are we doing this? This is not our job. Right. That's A. B, the absolutelyiconic behavior of landing a job thinking, actually don't want to do this. And then being like,
29:38you know who does though? My twin sister. And then the twin sister subbing in and beingincredible at her job. If I was the boss, I would have simply laughed and said, all right,you should stay. And hire her. No, exactly. Wow. That's crazy. I also love thethe very dramatic version of,you mean my real name?Yes, you better milk that moment.Like, she knew what's coming.She's been thinking about it for months.
30:03She said there's no way that I can keep this going for the rest of my lifebecause at some point they're going to figure it out.Actually, I feel like I'm okay thinking she left her Facebook page open on purpose.I think she was tired of living a double life.She got her however many months check.And she was like, all right, cool, I'm good.Right.She was built for the stage.
30:22What can I say?No, literally both.of them. I, you know what? I might revise my opinion on adult twins now because these two areabsolutely doing it up. It's giving parent trap. Like, it's giving Lindsay Lohan. It's giving liketwo of us. We can make it if we track. Next. I'm so excited to share a little bit of gossip fromthe niche world in which I used to work. I used to work in automotive museums and for ourautomotive event companies. And this is a gossip about my most recent stint at a automotive museumwhere we were putting on a show all about, you know, insert American automobile sports car here.
31:26So it's all about that sports car. And one of the donors said, hey,you can use my car as a photo op.We said that's awesome.So we get the car set up.It's about the third weekend that the show is open.I have a staff member staffed over thereto help open the doorand help people take pictures
31:48and kind of control itbecause it is still a donor's car.But he's also having a manthis other area of the museum.That's not as popular,but still sometimes people go over thereand it's kind of a busy weekend.He comes and checks in at the end of his shit
32:04and he said, hey, the glove boxof the photo op car won't close.And I'm like, that's weird.And he goes, also, there's a knife.I was like, what?I go over to the car.Sure enough, the glove box is open.We can't get it to latch closed.
32:24And I said, well, where's the knife?Like, is it a guest's knife?whose knife is it? He goes, oh no, it fell out of the glove box. A kid was in there taking aphoto with his mom, and I guess he opened the glove box, and it fell into his lap. I was like,oh, fuck. And so, you know, he had the staff member not knowing what to do, but also notwanting to carry around, this pretty large pocket knife. He had put it in the center consolethe vehicle and then just, you know, had said, sorry, no photo ops for the next 15 minutes.And so I took a knife, I locked it in my office, and we still have to deal with the glove box.
33:12The glove box is still not matching.We do not own this vehicle.We're like, we have to, we have to get this latch because we know that the donor is bringing his family by the next day.So we quickly hop on the internet.We find the latch piece for that vehicle.Luckily, it was not yet considered too much of an antiquebecause it was a plastic part.We overnight it, we replace it, we come in early,
33:41we replace it, make sure it latches, make sure it's the same color,works everything, and we never tell the donor,the rest of the show goes fine,and we return the vehicle in perfect condition with his knife,return to the glove box the day that he comes to pick it up.Oh my God.So we never find out anything about this knife.Is this another member of community-based organized crime?
34:05Is he Greek too?I'm not trying to do hate crimes against the Greeks.I'm just curious.Donating, being a rich person and donating your luxury sports carknowing that there's a knife in the glove box is really,I'm trying to put my mind in the mind, in the body of the personwho donated their car.And I'm just like, did you forget?
34:31Did you think that a glove box couldn't be open?Because it wasn't locked.You know, sometimes you can lock a glove box.It clearly wasn't locked.And so what, what, I'm not going to question why the knife because it's a pocketknife, I feel as though.I mean, apparently pretty big.Yeah, but I'm also kind of like, what does a big pocket knife even mean?
34:51You know, to each their own.Okay, sure.Why not?I was much more stuck on the,knife than you are, but maybe that's just me.Well, let's talk about it becauseI'm just kind of like, well, I've seenpocket knives of all
35:04sizes. This is good. I'm happy?Yeah, I've seen pocket knives of allsizes. I feel like everyone knows at leastone male who's super into knives for some reason.Do you not know a male who's super into knives?I don't think I do.Maybe they just haven't revealed it to me.Maybe they just haven't told me about how into knives
35:22they are because I don't give that kind of acceptingspirit. ButMy dad is super into knives, and so is one of my friends.Is he?Is he?And so I feel like, I feel as though, yeah, I feel as though, you know, I'm, I'm abreast of, you know, the type of person who's like, oh, my God, sick knife.Yeah.Okay.
35:42I think I'm more used to, like, sword guys than I am knife guys, you know?What?Yeah.And you don't think that's weird or, like, rarer?Well, no, because you can use the sword as a decorative object.You're not putting your knife.You're not displaying.your knife. Yeah, I do want to know what categorizes a pocket knife. Like, because a pocket
36:04knife fits into your pocket. That's what I'm, how big can it be? Exactly. That's, that's, I need moredetails about this knife, actually. Was it clean? That's, I also was thinking you were going to tell methere was blood on it. Like, um, I will say that when you set the knife fell into the lap of a child,my first thought, and this goes to show both my age and how long I've been on the internet. You know thatvideo, probably a vine of that kid where someone's like, what do you have in your hand?And it's a kid running around. And he's like, a knife. And then his mom is like, no.That's exact. I was like, so this kid has a knife. Okay. That's what I thought. Yeah, that's such a good point.I imagine being that parent though and you're at this, your kid loves cars. And so you go to this car show and you're like, whoa.
36:50You can get inside the car. Photos in the car. So imagine you're just like in this car.and doing photos and all of a sudden.The glove box pops open and a knife falls into their lap.In a vintage car, my immediate thought is James Bond, motherfucker,what crimes happen in this car and is my DNA now on a crime scene?My immediate thought is organized crime.I mean, I think we're two peas in a pot there.It's like, what have I seen?
37:16What am I a part of?Yeah, what am I now a part of?Who is now coming for me?Exactly.And my young, very adorable child, my twin child.One of fragments.Must be a twin.Must be a twin.
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38:20What do you wear for that important, historic moment?What do you wear for that moment?I do love that.See, now what you're doing is dangerous.You're making me like Kate Middleton,and I never thought that I would get there.I feel like the two of you could hang out and have fun.We probably could have a very good time.
38:34A very good time.Listen to the reheat wherever you get your podcasts.Let's go on to the next.I want to gossip about my friend's first weekend away with her boyfriend.So she's in dating her boyfriend for like two months.They decide to take a little risk and go away for the weekend.Kind of low stakes, just a couple nights away at a cute little cabin.It's got a hot tub.
39:17They're going to sit out under the stars.It's going to be very romantic.and she wakes up the morning of their trip with a double ear infection.So she freaking pops back like a million painkillers for this double ear infection becauseshe's like, I'm going on this trip.She briefly tells her boyfriend about it, but doesn't want to make a big deal out of itbecause she's trying to make a good impression and trying to be very chill.They get to the place, it's beautiful, they start drinking.
39:45The combination of the painkillers with the alcohol makes her tummy very upset.set and she has to go shit her brains out in the bathroom. The toilet clogs. She does have to tellabout it because this is an Airbnb and she cannot get it to unclog. So already the livesare horrible and she's like, I'm actually really trying to play down this double ear infection.I don't think I can go on the hike tomorrow. So he's like, that's okay. We'll go on a nicewalk on the pier. So she goes to be a good sport. She's embarrassed about the night before. They gofor a nice walk along the pier, really cute.He's taking photos of her.
40:23She's twirling around being very dramatic and cutesyfor the photos.Her phone flies out of her pocketas she's twirling from the photosand slow motion slides across the pierand into the ocean.Now the phone is deep enough that you're like,I'm not going in there.
40:44Also, this is like in January.But it is shallow enough that they're like,We could get it.It's just at that sweet spot.And so she's like, let's go, let's go.So they go to the beach.They strip down.It's like kind of hot, kind of fun, kind of giggling.
41:04Because they're like, ooh, cheeky, I'm seeing you strip down on this beach.They go into the ocean.They're dying.They don't last more than one minute because they're like, I'm actually going to perish.She's like in no financial position.to buy a new phone. So she is like really holding back tears. They go back. She hops in the hot tub.She's having a little bit of an existential crisis. And then he comes back out and says, hey, I bookedyou a wetsuit. Sorry? I booked you a wetsuit so that you can search the ocean. And she's like,
41:46why aren't you getting in the web suit?And he's like, it's your phone.I'll be there to encourage you.First of all, I want to know what the guest thoughts are on this.Red flag, green flag.So they go, she gets suited up.She goes back to the spot by the pier.At this point, it's been like at least an hour and a half to two hours.
42:13If the phone has been at the bottom of the ocean,She gets into the ocean much better in the wetsuit, much better in the wetsuit.She's searching.She's searching.She's not finding anything.Like an angel from the heavens, a mysterious man is like, what are you looking for?And she says, I'm looking for my phone.I dropped it off the pier.
42:33And he goes, what time did you drop it?She said, I don't know, maybe perhaps 11 a.m.He like licks his finger, like a man from.lore and like calculates the wind. And he's like with the current, I do believe your phone should beright around. He takes like nine to ten strides down the pier and like points down. And she goesover there. Lo and behold, there's the phone. She picks it up. It's still working. It's still on.She like celebrates with the boyfriend. They are still together to.to this day. This trip actually brought them together despite all the disasters.
43:23Girl, girly pop. There are so many other things. You can postpone a trip with a double earinfection. We need not go through all of that. A trip with water-based activities. And likealtitude. Why are you getting water in your infected ears? Also, go toof the fucking urgent care, they will give you an antibiotic real fast.Yeah.Yeah.I'm, well, you know, I don't know what the financial situation.No, you're right.
43:54Actually, she did say she was not a financial situation to get a new family.So that's really fair.We don't know if she has insurance.That's so fair.That's so fair.I do get that.But also, you first of all, you really need to be careful with pain killers, especiallywith what you're eating, especially if you're taking a lot.
44:09But you also just didn't need to go on the trip.Baby girl, it's okay.Next time, you know, we know this now.I, too, have been on a trip with friends, not a romantic partner with friends, where I have had to embarrassingly, like I'm in an Airbnb and I have had to take a shit and I've had to, and I've clogged the toilet and it won't unclog and I've had to like, yeah, it's not fun.It's like we laugh about it now.It's my wish beer.But I can, I can just, I just wanted to say that to say I relate and, you know, salute to my sister.that's not a fun experience to be in and I couldn't even imagine if it wasn't just close friends instead of a romantic partner and so I do
44:49I do empathize with you there two months yes yes early romantic partner if my phone dropped into the sea and I needed to go get it because I wasn't in a financial place to buy a new one and my romantic partner of two months said I booked you awayAnd not us.Wet suits.Yeah, no.I don't know if we would still be.And I'm happy for you.I'm so happy for you that you're still together and that it's happy and that just broughtyou closer.
45:28I would not be that, though.I would be very weirded out because it's just kind of like, it would be one thing if maybethis person is afraid of the ocean or has a fear of swimming or whatever, but they clearlygot into the ocean with them earlier on.to help them find it before the wetsuit.Yes.And so it's like, well, what is the difference now?You just didn't want to do it.
45:49No, exactly.It's, I don't like that part.I don't like that part.I don't like that part.I don't like that part.I don't like that he didn't book himself a wetsuit instead of her.Because if I was on a trip.Or both of us.
46:01Maybe.Why am I doing it alone?Maybe he only had enough money for one wetsuit.I'm going to give him that.I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a be nice on that.But if I was on a trip with my research.girlfriend who told me she has a double ear infection, I would simply think, you know what,let me go out into the ocean for her. Did he know that she hadn't? Yes, she said, she mentioned
46:26it. She's like my, yes, she had already talked to me about it. I'm like, I'm sorry. Yeah, that's crazy.I forgot that she had that's even crazier. I like that even less now. I'm like, what's wrong with you?Like, on one hand, it is I, it's, the action is very, um, in comprehensive.to me. Because on one hand, getting a wetsuit is actually a really smart idea. I would not havethought about that. I would have simply been like it's lost to the ocean and I will no longer beable to communicate with anybody. Oh, no. But buying a wetsuit, it does make sense that youcan do that near a beach. Like now if I ever drop anything, I will look for a wetsuit. Buton one hand, consider it. On the other hand, why did you send her in there by herself?
47:10Myself. That's crazy.And then we must talk about the mystical water fairy who emerged out of nowhere and licked his finger and held it up to the wind and said your phone should be right about here based on the current.What kind of she should have married him.That's hard to fuck.No, Rachel, I legitimately thought that that's where the story was going.I was like, oh my God.And so she ended up with him.And she didn't.
47:38It's fine.I love this is such a spiritual whatever whatever thing but do you ever have those moments in life where you have an interaction with someone else or an encounter with someone else and you feel like you were here to help me yes because my ancestors or someone up on high was like this girl needs to either get her shit together or she needs some help or she needs a child to cry on yes and it's like you just meet these strangers and they deliver you like information or help that just feels soso serendipitous that it can't be a coincidence, right?This is one of those moments.Someone was looking out for your friend who had dropped her phone into the ocean.And someone, I don't know if it's an ancestor or whoever, but someone was looking outfor her and someone sent this very kind mystical man to her aid.And I love that for her.
48:31I love these sort of moments in life.They're so spicy.They make life special.But they're also a little scary when you're in them.No, exactly.It's like, where did you come from?Exactly.If a man held his finger up to the wind, I would be like, I'm sorry.
48:45Like, in my man, this man looks like Hozier.Can't tell you why.Well, no wonder you wanted her to marry him.I just wonder if this man continued to be in corporal form once her phone was found.Right.Yeah.Disappear.It's like she gets it.
49:03She's like, oh, my God, it's still working.And she turns around and she's like, where did he go?That's what I'm picturing.Yeah.That's incredible.It's also going to be really funny if someone's just like,this is just the knowledge that someone would have if they sailed,which is probably true.
49:18But to me,this is just like mystical lost knowledge that is simply not to be held by humans.I agree.I agree.I want to go to a small seaside town and have this happen to me.Not all of the horrible parts,but just the encounter with a magical mystical man who knows a nautical wind.No, literally.
49:35I love that.I must bring it back to one of my very very.your first points, which is, I know that when you're buying a phone, you're like, this is a big expense.Just pay the extra for the insurance.Yeah, for sure.Just pay a little bit extra for the insurance.It's like when, it's like when you go out, you should include the 20% in the tip,the 20% tip in your food.
49:56Otherwise, you can't actually afford to go out.It's the same with the phone.Just include the insurance.You're going to want to use it.Just buy the insurance.Or like me when I'm going to the airport, because I know I'm not taking publictransportation so I need to add in a hundred.Exactly.
50:10An extra $120 because it's 60 there and 60 back.Exactly.Add that into the plane ticket.It's just like that. It's exactly like that.No, it's just, it's smart.You're right. You're so right.It's just that women are in STEM.It's Girl Math, but these girls are in STEM.
50:26Exactly. It's recognizing who you are.And if you're someone who might drop their phone,I'm talking about me to be clear.I broke many phones before they became more resistantto being dropped.Then that's why I always have the insurance.I do love having insurance.It does make me feel more secure.
50:42I'm really happy that this couple is still together.I'm also, I will never forget this, in fact.I will always be thinking about that time that I heard that story about that one guywho let his girlfriend of two months go into an ocean alone with a double ear infectionafter she had already shit her brains out the previous evening and was feeling awful to go find her phonealone and just with the help of one mystical man.I will never forget this.Maybe the boyfriend who rented the wetsuit is actually a fairy,
51:19but he knew he couldn't reveal his true form to her.And so he said, I have to get her the wetsuit to get her away from me.And then I will emerge in my true form to help her.That makes this story feel better to me.So true.I also love the slight shade that I think the caller in also thinks that it's a red flag because they specifically stop.They asked us.They were just like, is that a red flag?
51:44Yes, confirm.We can confirm.That's a red flag.Yes, girl.But I wish them all the best.You know what?Sure.Long life, prosperous, whatever.
51:52Thank you so much for this gossip.Thank you, Nadeira.This is another great episode.I'm going to be thinking about a lot of these things.The Greek Mafia.The Water Ferry.automotive museums.The knife. How big was the knife?
52:09The knife!I'm gonna, this has given me some food for thought.As always, thanks for having me.I will do this anytime you ask.Literally any time.Thank you so much for listening to Normal Gossip.If you have a gossip story to share with us,that email is NormalGossip at Defector.com
52:32or you can leave us a voicemail at 2679 Gossip.If you love this podcast and want to support us, become a friend or friend of a friend at support normalgossip.com.You can follow the show on Instagram and TikTok at at NormalGossip.Normal Gossip is hosted by me, Rachel Hampton.Our lead producer is Sierra Spragley Ricks.Our subscriber episodes are produced by J. Tolviera.The co-creators and Dowager Queens of Normal Gossip are Alex Tujan Loughlin and Kelsey McKinney.Defector's project editor is Justin Ellis.
53:07Jasper Wang and Sean Coon are Defector's business guys.Alex Tujong Loughlin is Defector's supervising producer.Tom Lay is our editor-in-chief.Thanks to the rest of the Defector's staff.Defector Media is a collectively owned subscriber-based media company,and Normal Gossip is a proud member of Radiotopia.Please remember, you did not hear this from me.
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