On Display with Melissa Gorga - Reality, TV, and... Scandalous Facetimes (w/ Dave Quinn)

Episode Date: December 9, 2021

Melissa sits down with Dave Quinn, the man who literally wrote the book on Housewives. Join Melissa and Dave as they spill the tea on the franchise, what didn't make the book, and... Dave's "naked truth." Grab a glass of wine and a sprinkle cookie, and get an inside scoop on the stories behind the story.  And don't forget to treat yourself to a copy of Dave Quinn's book, Not All Diamonds and Rose: The Inside Story of the Real Housewives and the People Who Lived It , available now.  

You're listening to Melissa Gorga on display with me Melissa Gorga on podcast one. Everybody's waiting on me to fall. Everybody's waiting on me to fall. They can keep on waiting on me. Wait, not me, wait, not me, wait. I love it! What's up listeners, it's me Melissa Gorga. Welcome to episode two of Melissa Gorga on display with me, you're truly Melissa Gorga. I hope everyone had an awesome week

and you know, everyone's doing all things fun. But I am so excited today to introduce my guest for this episode. He is none other than a people magazine writer and the author of the New York Times best-selling book, Da-da-da, not all diamonds and rosé with all of the housewives and all of the craziness. It's the whole inside story of the real housewives from the people who actually lived it. So with no further ado, I'd like to say hi and have

everybody welcome Dave Quinn. Hi. Hey, Melissa. Oh my goodness. How fun is it to be on the other side of this? I'm thrilled. Is it? It's so crazy. This is so exciting for me. You're the people magazine guy. Okay. You do the interviews. You do the writing, and we're gonna just flip the switch for a minute today because let me just tell you in housewives world. You're a celebrity right now. You are a celeb, a full-bones celeb in the housewives world. I can tell you that. Oh my god, that is crazy. I don't understand why at all, but I will take it and I appreciate it. Is it surreal to you that I mean, obviously, listen, you've always been very talented. You obviously write for People magazine, which is one of the most, I would say reputable, right?

Like I mean, people really respect People magazine always has. And you gotta be a pretty good writer to be writing for people, right? And my right, what do you do over there at People Magazine? Yeah, no, I mean, you do have to be a good writer. You have to be a fast writer. You have to turn stories around really quickly. You have to be a diligent reporter. You have to be kind of on top of things and know your, you know, your self. So yeah, that is a part of it. But it's just strange to think that like, you know, I'm a fan first and I will always be a fan first. So it like even just being here right now, I'm still pinching myself. Like I remember the first time, like, I got a phone call from a housewife or, you know, had a housewife say like, oh, put your, put my number in your phone. I was like, oh my god, this is, this is crazy, right? So to think that like I was able to do this, that this book became such a big thing that people are talking about it is just is very surreal to me, you know, because I'm not used to being in the spotlight. I'm used to being behind the scenes.

Well, congratulations on the book being a New York, I mean, you're a New York Times best selling author. That's huge. It's pretty crazy. I'm so proud of you knowing you for a while now. Just through interviews, through people mag and you know, obviously we've become friends as well because I truly love you. You're one of those solid people. Anyone by the way in the reporting world that can have almost every single housewife talk positively about him. You, I don't know what you're doing, but you're obviously doing something right. How you can balance, and we're really going to get into this book. And the fact that you had all of these deep conversations on the phone with all of these girls. And I want to know some juicy details.

And like who is begging you to keep things out and who wanted you to be nice to them? I want to know all of these things. But let me ask you this, just from what you just said before, who was the first house? So I've gave you their phone number. Oh my goodness. You know, it may have been Tamra Judge actually.

We've been the first. Yeah, I'm trying to think, I, you know what? How did that even happen? It just does because you're so likable that how it happened. Well, I think the thing is that I am somebody who's used to and has had a lot of experience in my life of being other, right?

Of being treated like less than, of being kind of bullied and put a cast aside. So because of that, I just kind of approach everybody with kindness and compassion. I'm like, listen, I've been on the other side of it. It sucks to get beat up. Like, I don't want to be that person who's another person in your life

who is coming at you with any other way other than love. And I think that people ultimately respect that, and appreciate that because I am kind of just. 100% yeah, a big old warm hug. I'm here to listen. I'm here to advise in any way that I can. And I've built those relationships of the years of being somebody who people can turn to, but I'm in no way shape or form like ever going to judge you because you're getting enough judgment. I think you're all superheroes for putting yourselves out on the show, putting your lives out on the show, the scrutiny that you get from the public

and everything you do, there's no winning. So I don't want to be another voice in your life, giving you anything but love. And that resonates. I feel like everyone feels that from you. We could feel that deep down inside, you're writing a story, you're reporting, but you're, you're a really a good person. And that's why I think you were the one chosen to do something. I mean, this book was also supported by Bravo, which is outlandish.

Bravo just wants to like break the fourth wall all over the place, which is a little scary. Let me just ask you this, how many hours and hours were you on the phone with housewives? Okay, so I did an early estimate, you know, I like looked at all the numbers and tried to add things up and came up with a little over 500 hours. But then what I didn't realize, and that's what's published in the book, we say over 500 hours of interviews, it was actually over 800 hours because I went back and added again recently and realized that I was way off that there was like so much more that we talked through because I was going back and doing extra interviews that I wasn't really counting into all of everything. So yeah, it was really intense, there was so many conversations and the thing is is Melissa, everybody approached these interviews in really different ways.

And obviously, and we will get into that. I was, I don't even know what I was doing now when I go back and read the book. And let me just tell it for the listeners, if anyone has not picked up this book yet or have read it, has read it, it is a hole behind the scenes. Everyone's own, right? Dave, personal stories. Dave got on the phone with every single housewife, basically

in history, past, present, the husbands, all of them, and let them tell their story. And this book is written in a fashion where it's pretty much word for word, what they said, and Dave was very smart at interjecting with something someone else said that went to the same topic, right? So there was like an answer, well, I felt like this, and then you have the other girls answer, well, I felt like that when this was happening. Does that sound right, or do you have a better explanation

for this? No, it's perfect. You use the right word feel because it is a book of feelings, not a book of facts, right? Because there are different things in those, those are two different things. So everyone has their own feelings. I presented their feelings as accurately as I possibly could, even if I didn't necessarily agree with them.

And it's not about me, it's about what people are feeling and I just say. And you need to, you're writing down what they said. It's almost like, like one big confessional that we all just had, like on our chest, that we wanted to get out about the things that were bothering us, being on the, on these shows. Yeah. For me, when you called me, and it was my turn, and you told me, Hey, Melissa,

I'm writing this book, Brav was approving it. I'm talking to every single housewife. We just have some questions. Want want to hear your side, want to hear your story. You know, little me. I'm sitting over here. I'm like, Oh, you know, that was so long ago. That was in the past.

We're good now. Like, you know, I'm giving you a little bit of behind the scenes, but like my natural instinct was not to digging, go hard, rip their souls off, throw F-bombs, say she sucks, they're lying slut. That was not where I went with this. So when I finally got the book, and I'm guilty, I flip right to the real housewives of New

Jersey section because obviously there's a Beverly Hills, there's in New York, there's a plan there's O.C. there's all these different sections. I go right to New Jersey. Boom. I literally text Dave Quinn that night and I was a little mad at him. I'm not going to lie. You're mad. I knew that I wasn't supposed to be mad at you, but I couldn't help but be like, what? Like, how would you even write these things that these husbands are saying about me? And half of it's not true, but it wasn't factual.

It's their true feelings. And I was so annoyed that everyone else was so aggressive. It's like these girls were mad. Everybody's still mad. And I'm like, I didn't go ahead and talk. Did I have that approach in this book? No, but not for lack of trying. Like I tried to get you have that approach.

Listen, I wanted everyone to feel like this was a safe space that they could be as honest as they wanted to be. I'll never forget though, interviews were done in the summer of 2020. It was during the height of the coronavirus pandemic, the Black Lives Matter movement. It was a lot of stuff happening in the universe, right? Right.

And you were, if I remember correctly, at the shore. And even maybe outside, I think you like went and set outside to just talk to the two of us. Oh, I'm a rocking chair. I'm a rocking chair. And you could not be like, I would ask you to kind of go back in time and talk through these things. And you were like, I'm not getting in the mud here.

You know, you're like, whatever that would, and I would ask follow questions like, well, how did you feel when she threw the sprinkle cookies in the trash or whatever it was right? And you were like, who cares? You were like, you just kept being like, all right, next, next, next, next, next. Like you wanted to get through it as fast as possible,

which is fine. I totally understand you have a life, you have a family, you have things you want to do, going back through it is not hard, but other people had lots of time on their hands. They did not. They had been waiting for this moment for a very long time. Yeah, and they sat back and they were like,

let me tell you everything I think about that person. And it was interesting because again, I said this to you, and I'm not blowing smoke. I think it speaks volumes to who you are and how you responded to those questions. And as frustrating as it may be to turn around and be like, what happened? Like, why are all these things, you know, as frustrating as it may be to turn around and be like, what happened?

Like, why are all these things, you know, being said, I really ultimately think that like it shows who you are in your core that you're not the sort of person who wants to bring this stuff up and relive it all again. Well, I think that's the thing. I'm big on like, let's move forward. I'm a forgiveer, I would say like, I'm not's the thing. I'm big on like, let's move forward. I'm a forgive her. I would say like, I'm not a huge grudge holder. And sometimes that

doesn't work in my favor being on the housewives. I've learned that the grudge holders, you know, they make the the biggest waves and they, and you know, I've always, and I'm sure you know, this just reading comments on Instagram and everything else. I've always struggled, you know, with the height of like the dirtiness of it all. It's really truly not who I am at the core or deep down inside. I prefer to show, you know, and I'm not saying I don't get my hands dirty ever because I definitely do. But, you know, you know what I'm saying, like I get some heat sometimes for not being like the outlandish crazy one that's gonna break the frickin' wall down,

but that would be me being fake. That would be me turning it on for the cameras. And if I'm not consistent with who I really am, then how am I gonna keep going? Because I'm gonna be chasing my tail all the time. So with that said, I do wish I would have barked. I wish I would have bit a little harder. When you were throwing me those questions, I felt you kept coming back. And I was

just like, I'm looking at the water. I am sitting at my shore house. I probably had a margarita in my hand. My kids were playing in the pool. I'm like, I don't want to talk about Kathy, Waukely and Rosie and Danielle Stubb and Teresa still mad a thousand years later that I'm on this show and she still doesn't accept it. Like, this or not the things I feel like talking about today, this son is shining. So when I went back and read it, I was like, wow, I missed the memo.

Yeah, you were past. There were some people who were a past. You were one of them. I mean, I was, give me someone else. Who else was past? Heather Deu, bro, was pissed. Really? Yeah, she was upset about something that somebody had said about her. I won't even name names. But you know, it's interesting. It's like, I get it because, you know, I understand I had a responsibility in my perspective, as I was working on this to be as accurate as possible to the words that the person who said them to me were. So if you were making claims, let's say, about someone else, I felt like

if I didn't agree with those, right, didn't think those were right, if I censored you, then I would have to censor everybody, you know, so at a certain point, you just have to say, it wouldn't be fair of me to censor this person because it wouldn't be fair of me to censor everybody, you know. So at a certain point you just have to say, it wouldn't be fair of me to censor this person because it wouldn't be fair of me to censor you. But I do remember when you called me and you were upset or when we talked. And I think I reminded you very honestly, that like a lot of these has bins, as you'll call them,

I'm using your words, not mine. Sorry. A lot of these has bins are, you know, living in their frustration still. And at that time, I think it was days ago that when you texted me that you were on the red carpet with Jennifer Lopez. So I just want to remind you that you're doing fine.

You are too. We were twining that day too on the carpet, which was so. You were. Which was so funny. Great minds, you know, they just, they think alike, but thank you. I always appreciate you. One good heart sees another Dave Quinn, you know, I got some, I mean, listen, I know what's written in this book. Trust me, I read it. But like, who did you stand the phone with the longest? Who would not stop talking? And you were literally rolling your eyes? I know you're your type.

You're not gonna, you're not gonna hurt anyone's feelings right now, but like who dragged you through the mud the longest and you were like, holy shit. We have enough here. Like it's time to hang up. Well, there was no, I mean, I never wanted to get off the phone. Again, I'm such a fan first

that I never wanted to get off the phone with anyone. You wanted to hear it all. I wanted to hear it all. There are some who talk the longest Dave. Who who who talked the most? Carol, Carol Reswell and I from New York, we talked for 12 hours. Wow. Which is very much.

20 minutes must have been like, you were in 20 minutes. I think I got you over an hour. I think you were like an hour and a half, but you were like at the end You were like I got to go and even I wanted to talk to Joe. I was like, please let Joe know. I'd love to talk to him You're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like it never happened and I get oh my god. I'm so sorry I feel like it's okay. Oh my god. No, I loved it again, but I wanted to talk to everyone I say that to the most difficult conversations. I just want to focus on Jersey since we're talking Jersey. Two of the most difficult conversations I had in the book

were definitely with Caroline and Dina because I was very interested in understanding what really went down between the two of them. But that's a very tricky conversation to have period let alone on the record. So I think they both are very honest with me, but they both said like, I don't wanna relive this in the book, would you mind not talking about what went on behind the scenes

between the two of us because our relationship is really important. You know, we don't wanna go through it in the mud and the press. And I respected them about that. So that was, that was the hardest thing. Because it's family, when it's family, it's hard to go against and like, you know, do what they're asking you not to. Right. Of course. And you know, I would have I felt that way about if anybody said to me, I don't want to talk about this or I don't want this in the book. I was

very, you know, it was very respectful of that. Now, I did talk to your sister-in-law, I think like a day and a half before she went on the ultimate girls trip. And when I watched ultimate girls trip and saw her bringing up that nonsense again about how you never told her, I was like, oops. Hi, you're basically just talked about all of this. You probably brought it fresh in her mind.

So not only did I have to relive the whole fact that Melissa Gorgas on the real house, I was a new Jersey, yada yada yada, behind the back, yada yada, then I got to read it in the book too. When the book comes out,

I'm just like, this is the never ending saga of like Melissa is on this show, 11 years later. It's actually, the fans actually can't get enough of it because, you know, they love a good like, who's cider you on and who do you believe? And like, you know, I've always said, I have nothing to hide with that. I know, you know, I, I gave you detail for detail.

I feel like anti-coin, I have to say in the book, kind of backed me up with that, which I was kind of happy because he did say, you know, Melissa, in her own right, whether she was a sister-in-law or not, her and, Melissa in her own right, whether she was a sister-in-law or not, her and Joe in their own right deserve their spot on this show. And I was kind of happy that he said that. I believe Lucilla, you even spoke to like the producers. You even had our producers like telling you everything.

But, and listen, you don't have to pick sides yet. You know, I know you're not very comfortable with picking sides, but you heard both sides. Do you believe that I came on behind her back? And is there like a gray area? What do you feel? I feel like you ultimately, it's so interesting. I think that you were presented with an opportunity

and you explored it. At the time, you didn't have a close enough relationship with your sister-in-law and you wanted to, you know, be honest about that. And I think it made perfect sense for you to do that. I don't think that you were trying to get her or bring her down or, you know, people like to paint housewives in ways

that I think are so ridiculous and wild. And it's part of the reason why I was so excited to write this book to clear things up. And one of the misconceptions is that you all are behind the scenes stirring a cauldron, being like, I'm going to get her and like, you know, pinning pictures of her on a dart board, like, I don't think that's what was happening. But you weren't super close to her at the time. You were presented with an opportunity and you explored it like anybody should have. I personally think you were. I appreciate you being honest, you know, I don't like putting you on the spot, but I do like putting you on the spot.

Melissa, I mean, that really again, I say this book is something that I wanted to clear up misconceptions. And with you, I remember we talked about this like my biggest misconception from the fans that irritates me that if you talk to me in any aspect I'm on clubhouse a lot of them in various interviews. I will say this over and over again. This idea that people fake things for story lines just Rives me insane. Hi. The worst. It's the worst and I know it follows you and it was one of the things I wanted to talk to you about when we were doing the book because like it is just insane to think that any housewife has control over what makes it on the show period first of all right so like you know I'm sure I'm sure Teresa didn't want her storyline to be her and her husband going through legal issues and going to you know not, but it was her reality at the time. And when people, I don't know, first of all,

I remember Andy Cohen even saying this, where this whole, I think the fans, because the Bravo fans are intense. And I have to say, I love that they have some great, there's some great Instagram handles, as I'm sure you may know, the Bravo and cocktail, the phases by Bravo, Christian. I mean, these are in tens, like, you know, the Bravo housewives, you know who I'm talking about, right?

These Instagram, they are like medium angles in the housewife world, okay? And it can get crazy on Instagram with people's opinions and how they feel. And I remember Andy saying, like, where did this whole thing with storylines even come from? Like the fans made that up. We don't need storylines. There's it's not a storyline. They would like if something's going on in your life. They'd like you to just at least like put a cap on it by the time we're done filming and let us know where you're at. But you don't necessarily have to have a storyline. And it always killed me when people would say, Melissa made that storyline up about having a sister. What? No, I

didn't. And to be honest, I didn't even want to talk about it on the show. The producers wanted me to. That's the funny part. The funny part is truly right before we started filming, we always have like a production meeting, right? So the production comes and they say, what's going on in life? Tell us what's going on. We're gonna start filming in a week or two, just give us like, what's happening in life? I was like, nothing, you know me, nothing.

I don't know, nothing. Now, like, so we just tell, well, I don't know, we just saw you guys six months ago. So this has changed, that's changed. I said to them, you know what? Remember that psychic we filmed with, that came on the show, and remember she talked to Teresa and Joe and I,

when my mother-in-law passed. Well, I happened to run into her at the Walmart. She comes running up to me, Melissa, it's me, remember me. I filmed with you on the show. You're like, I said, yes, I was, she goes,

I have something to tell you. It's destiny that I see you here today is basically what she said. I told the producers guess what she told me she talked to my dad, you know, I do I have a long lost sister somewhere I told the producers it this is real this is what really happened in my life. Have you ever done the 23 and me? Do you want to explore it? I'm like, sure. Meanwhile, scared shit that we're actually going to find someone on the 23 and me or whatever it may be. Like, I'm scared shit because I'm like, oh my god, it should be a crazy person. I'm like opening up Pandora's box here.

I literally for real took that test on the show. And the real housewives of New Jersey producers gave me my test back to tell me, you know, the whole thing. And if I had, you know, if I had any relatives and then that's fake, it's like they make things up, they have these conspiracy theories, they run with them. It would be much easier to think that the show is scripted, that they give you storylines. That would be great. But like, if you, and not to say that there aren't housewives who want things to be their storylines, who hope to, this is what we're going to talk about, but you have no control over it.

The edit is the one, the editors are the ones who make those decisions. Tamara Judge, a perfect example. She hoped her last season storyline was all gonna be about her launching her CBD business. She filmed a huge party at her CBD launch. She did, you know, all these scenes of her, like, you know, talking through this business,

really exposing it didn't air one, not a single part of it. So like that's the, promote your business to be honest. That's just one of the things that they'll give it, they'll throw you a bone once in a while. And if it's truly what's going on in your life, but you don't know what's going to make it, right? Right. So that's the storyline she hoped for, but she had no control over it at the end of the day. The producers of the one to make the decisions, the editors, the network, they decide what makes it to air, not you. So I'm sure if you were making storylines,

you could have chosen something much more. Well, I think that's why Bravo gets so frustrated as well when people write that, because it's like, where are you getting this from? If anything, Bravo asked me to speak about that. I was like, I don't even know if I want to talk about that, because I don't know if I want to find her, to be honest. And obviously, we didn't find her. about that because I don't know if I want to find her, to be honest.

And obviously, we didn't find her. But if I would have found her, what, then it wouldn't have been fake, right? So it's like, it's crazy. That's one of the things you deal with. I mean, with the good and the bad of being on reality TV and just like the criticism, you know, I feel like there's probably no one out there

that knows more about this than you and kind of our everyday life and what we do go through as real humans. Yeah and that's again it's why I have so much compassion for you and I have to say some people are really good at handling it and other people are not and I do not Dave who's not going to handle it. Well you know who's. Anyone off the top of your head? I don't think that ZigGI was very good at handling it. I don't think that Danielle was very good at handling it. I think they would admit that. I mean, they really struggled with what the public believed about them. Danielle really had a hard time after her first season that all these skeletons in her closet had come out without her. And that was really difficult for her. But I think a lot of people really, you know,

have a hard time embracing this experience in the way that you have. I always say this that there are, and again, I'm not blowing smoke, I would tell you the truth, that there are certain housewives who are better at than others and I put you in the top. I think you're very good at not worrying about the nonsense, about just enjoying your life, about not getting wrapped up in it, because when I have conversations with you, you're not swirling about the show. You ask questions about me. You want to know about my relationships, my boyfriend, my dog, my house. You want to know about my opinions. You tell me things about your life that has nothing to do with the show at all.

I would like to never speak about the show when I'm not filming just. Well, right. And that's, but by the way, a lot of people are not like that. Jacelle Bryant is another person. Jacelle Bryant should host, you know, with you a school, a housewives training school, because Jacelle Bryant, you never see her just like you. You're not on social media, clapping back at people. You kind of just ignore it. You enjoy your lives. You know, just else like, I don't care what you say

about me on the television. I know who I am at the end of the day and I put my head down and rest well. And I think you're the exact same way. Well, thank you. And I think that being on this, there's really no other way because I truly feel it would take over my whole world.

And to be honest, I don't get paid enough for that. First of all, second of all, I mean, I mean, for real. And you know, at the end of the day, we are moms. I have three kids. I have Joe Gorgah, which is a lot of work as well as you know. You have four kids. Yes, I have four kids. So it's like, if I were to let this, you know, take over my whole life,

I would spiral out of control. I would have never been in the game for as long as I am and been able to branch out the way I do if this took over my world. And there are definitely housewives and I will on our show, by the way, who are very good at it, but also you could never sit down with them

and have lunch without the show coming up without a little bit of the drama coming up without them touching on it where I don't find myself ever really want like see. Show us your dog by the way because he is like the cutest thing ever. I love this dog. Oh my God. That's like a dog model. She is. She is. Little puppy. I got her just, oh my god, a little over a week ago. Her name is cashew. My, I had a dog named peanut who died in June. So this is a tribute to her in a way. Oh my god. If anyone who does not well know what this dog looks like, it is like the cutest little brown. Is this a poodle? Yeah, it's a toy poodle. Sorry, I should be honest. I should remind myself that we're not on camera. She's a toy poodle. She's just under two pounds right now, but she'll

probably be about. Thank you. Or just dog, if you have to follow Dave on Instagram, it's about five. Yeah, she's super, super sweet. They're really cute, cute little puppy. And now back to the show. If we're going back, if you had to have like a housewives training school, right? And you're in charge of this school.

Okay, you need to pick, let's see, like you need to pick three let's say, like, you need to pick three leaders. Who's going to teach the other housewives? And who are you going to expel from this school? Who do you feel like should no longer be in the housewives school? Well, I think that, again, I'm going to exclude you from this just because, you know, you're going to help run the school with me. Okay, we're going to run it together. We'll get the profits, but we definitely need Jazelle as a teacher because I think that she's very good at the art of letting go.

And I want to circle back quickly to say those who aren't able to let go, I'm not judging them. I totally understand, I have a lot of compassion for them. It's difficult to get out of it. It is, it's not for everyone. And it's not for everyone, but I think that that's an important lesson. And Jacelle

would be a great teacher to teach people how to kind of just escape from it. I would put Kenya as a teacher. I think that Kenya would be a great instructor. I'm going to agree with you on that. Very good choice. I know. Another one that walks in to the room because I personally filmed with her on the ultimate girlship.

Walks in like, okay, let's go. Yeah, I have a job to do. on the ultimate girlship walks in like, okay, let's go. Yeah, I have a job to do. Let me do the job. You know, that phrase that people say a lot on social media now understood the assignment. She wrote the assignment. She, as far as I'm concerned, comes in,

knows exactly how to handle it. And I think it's, that's a really important lesson to have in like knowing how to make good television, how to like turn it on, how to witness what's happening and pull things out of people to stir up a good TV, you know, and I mean to live out loud in the right sort of way. So she would pick one more, he gets to pick one more. You know, I think I'm going to go back to your cast and I'm going to cast another instructor to be Dolores Catania because I think it's important to have someone to educate housewives and the

importance of living authentically in yourself and having heart and leading with that. We always think of housewives as like throwing glasses, wine and flipping tableholes and doing silly things like that, but you really do need someone in the mix who's could have ground everybody who's going to be a decent human, a good friend, a voice of reason, and I think somebody who can kind of be the opposite of Kenya in that aspect would be really good to have on staff. Agreed. And I think that sometimes the housewives that are there to kind of be the voice of the people because sometimes you're watching all the crazy and you have to remember there's the people at home that want someone like Dolores or like me or the other ones to come in and be like wait a second, like it's say what they were thinking. Do you know what I mean? There has to be some people on the show.

There's got to be people in there that have that level headed character, so to speak, right? Because how do we get there? We're just gonna be all crazy then we're gonna have issues. We're not gonna ever have any conflict resolution, as I would say. Right, and sometimes it's,

so you bring up ultimate girls for it because it's so interesting watching that because there are a lot of voices of reason. You being one of them, I think Cynthia's a voice of reason in a lot of ways, I think Kyle is. I have so enjoyed watching this show and you and I saw one another right after you got back from filming

and I remember you telling me, the best night, hands down was the night that I did the pajama party. And having watched that episode, you were right. That was absolutely hilarious. Did you love it? Wait, did you see for anyone who did not see this yet, the real, the ultimate girl's trip. There was an episode that we all hosted a night, right? And I hosted the pajamas party. So I got everyone matching pajamas from envy. Can you picture Ramona singer? Uh, Lou Ann, we had Cynthia, Kenya, Teresa, um, Kyle, we are all putting these things in our mouths that literally stretch, stretch your

lips out and just look like a big mouth. Like almost like you're at the dentist office and he's about to start doing work on you when he just stretches your mouth out. Ramona Peter pans, Kyle Peter pans, uh, Lou Ann is doing shots off married man's chest, right? I mean, right off his chest, I always wonder with that guy's poor wife is thinking because she is she like thinking, oh my God, he's like some superstar with all these girls or does she want to kill him?

I would love to hear from Michael's wife and know how she feels about Luana and like, you know, just in general, all the girls, it was like, he was like, you know, Michael, Michael, Michael's wife and know how she feels about Luan. Like, you know, just in general, all the girls, it was like, he was like, you know, Michael, Michael, Michael is crazy. I mean, Luan showed her whole, all of the countess to him. And to me, by the way, I have never seen a grown woman just be so, I mean, she just like opens up her whole

entire towel like it's nothing. And let me just tell you gorgeous, okay, gorgeous body. I mean, you got to give it to Luan, especially for her age. I mean, it's insane how her body looks, but she got up every morning. She ate healthy, she did her yoga, she's not drinking. So she's in shape and she looks great, but she, you know, her pulse looks great too. Oh my god, I know you want nothing to do with that, but she, you know, her pulse looks great too. Oh my God. I know you want nothing to do with that, but let me tell you. I know that's not your style, but I've seen some

housewives pluses in real life by the way. Have you who's tell me right now? I'll tell you who's plus I've seen. Oh, should I say this? I don't know. But wait, who I've definitely seen Margaret Joseph's plus and I know you have to then. There's way you haven't she's always naked tell me right now Dave I see the dynas. Did you say I saw Danielle's I saw Danielle Oh Everyone saw that it's I'm like porn.com No, I sat in the flesh. We were doing a shoot and she she was very oh you saw it like real It's like IRL on volleyball.

Congratulations on that. I haven't seen Tamer's put, but she's flashed me her boobs a bunch. Okay. Okay. You've never saw Margaret's. I'm surprised because Margaret's another new. Oh, yeah. She wants to round naked when we film and I get like, I'm like in shock.

I'm like, what are you doing? She just everyone. You know, I'm the most modest. Any house wife will let you know. I'm the one that's like running around slipping into my clothes, covering and everyone's like, Melissa, why don't you just run around naked? I'm like, oh my God, I would never. I'm the most modest that of like all of the girls.

They all vouch for me for that. I love that Margaret's a secret new to us. That's absolutely hilarious. You didn't know that she sleeps, knew she walks, knew she talks, knew it'd be, I'd have to film with her. It'd be like 2 a.m. I'm trying to snore.

Basically, I'm trying to sleep. She's on the phone with Joe, completely nude, 2 a.m. You know Margaret, she's very gossipy. Gossip, gossip, she always has a story. She's got a lot to say Margaret. I will have to say Margaret's probably

the most gossipy one on our show. I always say Margaret. I will have to say Margaret's probably the most gossipy one on our show. I always say that. And I call her Dynastie, because she's very Dynastie. She's like, darling, it's fabulous. And listen with this one, did, and listen with that one, did. And Susie from this thing and Rachel from that thing,

like she knows everybody, she talks to everybody, just that's, you know, Margaret. But she's also a nudist. Have you seen any other naked housewives? I need to know. Yeah, I think I can count at least four more up the top of my head. I think I've seen.

Now, come on, are you kidding? Where are you seeing naked women like this? Hey, some of them just like FaceTimey nude. They're just out of the shower. Okay, who FaceTime's you nude? Tell me right now. I didn't, I want to know. Durrinda was, Durrindo was in the buff the other day. I just, I, it all cracks me up because it's just like, again,

it's like, what is happening? I mean, it couldn't be wasted on somebody. I'm less interested at all. I was just going to say that's why they're so comfortable with you because they know that you have zero desire to see any of it. I know. I don't even want to see myself naked. Like I am not, I'm with you. I'm with that said, which house has been and do not feel like you need to say Joe, would you love to see a little flash from? Would you love to see naked? I mean, Evan Goldschneider. Oh, so cute. Okay. That's fair. Is that your little crush?

No, I mean, he's a lovely man. But every time he talks to me, he looks at, he looks me in the eye and he'll like, Joe does this too. He like put his arm either around me or on my shoulder and I'm like, are we the same species? Like, I don't feel like I'm the same species as him. He's like, just, I'm almost 40 years old. I'm not a child, but I look at him like,

yo, you're doing something I don't know how to do. Oh my God, that is so cute. I actually love that. I love that. I mean, who would you say outside of all of your work with people? Who do you keep in touch with the most? I really try to talk to everybody as much as I can and let them know, reach out, of course,

in special occasions, and when I'm thinking of them and just want them to know that I care, because I really do. It's silly to say, but I feel very blessed to have been given an opportunity in life to make these relationships, and I care a lot. I mean, I've always had a role that if a house I've calls, I pick up the phone. I want to be there on the other end. I know that you guys all have a lot of people in your life that you can turn to and trust. And I just want to be a part of that.

I want to be another name there. Because it's hard to navigate through this whole world. And then we add on the addition of not just filming, but then the press and what that experience is like. And I want to be there, you know, when that happens, I'm a very good secret keeper. I don't say anything because, you know, I would never want. Because you're smart.

You could never listen. You could never do the job you do. Number one thing, no one wants to talk to someone they don't trust. And you have that trust worthy, your trust worthy guy, you really are. I will never forget you invited me to your house. You said, come to this Halloween party. We're throwing a Halloween party. So, you know, again, did I, but, and do I throw a banger Halloween party?

You, you know, your Halloween party was so lit. But the funniest thing, again, this is just, you were different. We live in different worlds. I just had a totally different anticipation about this. I was like, oh, I'm going to her house for a small little Halloween party. I'll bring something to say thank you for having me. I didn't realize you had catering.

Everyone was wearing professional costumes. I threw something together. I was dressed as like a newsboy. I was like, I feel so poor. Like everybody was just so fancy. I brought, I brought you like, super sad. I brought you like sausage. You, by the way, your gift that you brought, because everyone always brings me like a bottle. You were the one. And my husband didn't really know who you were at the time, by the way. I had to say, Oh, he's, he's day from people magazine. You know, he's a great guy. He's like, who's the guy?

Who was that guy last night with the newspaper thing? He was like, he brought the bush getta and the provolone and the superstar. Like everyone remembered what Joe remembered what you brought. That was such what else you're going to bring to an Italian's house. That was the thing. I'm born and raised Italian. I mean, that's my that's how I was brought up. You show up with a gift.

So I was like, I'll just bring a little appetizer. I didn't think for a second that you had a food truck. That basement was like the most beautiful. But I mean, I know you've left that house now, but that basement was gorgeous. I hope the new one you're building is just as banging. Yes, it is. We are in the process of building it now.

And let me just tell you, woof, we are like, we go back and forth all day long. A lot of arguments going on over there because I wanted to be just right, but yeah, to be continued. No recording studio in this basement. No, there is not, I left the on display recording studio back at my old house.

So I hope someone is just like singing their graces down there and really enjoying that. Now I'm someone is just like singing, singing their graces down there and really enjoying that. Now I'm, you know, on display here with you with the podcast. But just getting back to your book for one second, this incredible monster of a book. Was there any stories that broke, right? So when the, when you're done, you close it, it's done. It's being printed. Any big stories that broke after you released this book that you were like, damn, like I wish I could have put this

in a book. I mean, so many, I think that like I wish that even just yesterday I saw a video with Andy telling the audience at What's What Happened's Live. Someone had asked a question. He was like, we almost did a real house, we cast a real house husbands of Orange County back in like season three We tried to do a spin off. I was like, why didn't you tell me that?

I didn't know you were telling that right? Like I had no idea, but no, I mean like we got I think Look, you do as much as you can there was so much material We did I think a great job of narrowing down exactly what needed to be in there Margaret called me afterward being like you didn't put the push pull in. You didn't put when I pushed Danielle's, uh, Marty into the pool. I was like, no, not everything could make it, right? But it's not every single thing, right?

We got all the good stuff. Well, how so is going to be pushy too? I'm sure you got after that book came out. I know you're being nice here. I'm sure you got a bunch of texts, a bunch of phone calls, a bunch of a little a bunch of phone calls, a bunch of a little bit of aggravation, no? I'm more nervous about those who I haven't heard from yet.

You know what I mean? And when you see them for the first time. Right, like I'm gonna be like, hill high, you know, like Deena reached out the other day and wrote something to me on social media. And I was like, oh, Deena's not mad at me. Deena's cool. Right.

You guys have one by one to see who's really like annoyed with you. And and what's going on with that? I mean, was was that the first one to text you? Was I one of your first? Yes. Yeah. Be first. I think you were because the book came, I think, I think it was sent from New York. And I think it got to the Jersey women first, you know, and then it got

to Orange County like a day later. So I think that like the day it got to aren't, you know, I had my premier party on Tuesday, the book came out on Tuesday. And I think you guys, I think I heard from you on like Saturday because you were like, I got the book and I was like, oh, and I was not my tone. And you know, I did feel bad after I shot you a little text there. And at first, I'm very like, you know, I'm like, oh, like I'm reading it. I'm like, I cannot believe the things that like, even Joe's family that he no longer speaks to,

like the Rosie's in the cal, I'm like, what is the words they chose? And I'm like, Dave wrote this, like, and he put this part in, he could have left that line out. Like, but then, you know, you calm me down as well, when you were like, you know what, Melissa, like it's not your style, you didn't want to go there, you did, you have a great way of calming me. So whatever you did, you did the right thing. Let me honestly, but I was not upset that you were upset. I think it's, uh, you know,

again, it's their words and there was a lot that didn't make it in. I'm sure I'm sure you had some a lot of juicy thing. Is there anything that you wrote that Bravo was kind of like, nah, we're going to leave this one out. When CBD came out, people wanted it to be like cannabis. And it wasn't. It helps with some things, but may not bring the exact effect people want. CBDX.com felt the same way,

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that they cut out were salaries. And I understood why they cut that out. It's, you know, private contracts, but I wanted all the salary information. Oh, the salaries. Oh my God, everybody wants to know what they made. Well, I mean, it's another huge misconception. I'll just say I've, you know, I've heard from fans before.

I once went into a room on clubhouse that social audio app and asked people, how much do you think the housewives make? And they all had an argument about it and came to the consensus that you make a million dollars in episode. Wait, is that what they think? A million in episode.

You know who made a million in episode? Like friends. Yeah, the cast of friends. You're not the cast of friends. The cast of friends. I mean, let's just go out there and say this. We can guarantee you we are not making a million in episode. As much as you're my Jennifer Aniston,

you are not making a million. I mean, I remember when that was like a huge thing and the friends cast made a million, I mean, that's you, a million in episode. We have like 24 episodes sometimes. I mean, we would be like, you know, that's a million in episode. We have like 24 episodes sometimes. I mean, we would be like, you know, we would all be rolling it. Half of us would have quit already. Thank you very much. So I was hoping that that would make it in there so that it would help people understand, you know, a lot of housewives told me that they lost money their first season because

based on the salary that they made, mixed with the fact that they had to buy, you know, all the clothes, all the hair, wardrobe, PR, all that stuff. So it's like very expensive and there's an investment that you put into it and, you know, some people only last a season, but I think from my understanding is that it's a tiered system and that if you can stay on the path, you do well in the long run.

Yes, it is a teared system. I don't know, I can't really speak for all the franchises, but not all are created equal and it just depends how long you've been there and all of that. But I know that's always the burning question. Sometimes I get annoyed, you know, when people will put out on social media like Melissa makes this much on the show or something. And I'm like, no, I don't. Like, I want to tell them they're either way off like on the really low. They're on the low side most of the time. But I'm like, what, like, where do they get these numbers from? It's crazy. They really do pull numbers. And like, they'll write a full thing, you know, some of these other sites, like the, like, you know, the page sixes and like the, you know, the other ones that like to be a little more juicy. And I'm like, where are you getting this from?

Like, this is not my salary. It's full fiction. But I will say, you know, Bravo is that's the only thing they didn't want in there, but they were very good. And the most surprising thing for me was what happened in the Dominican Republic because nobody, nobody had told me that before. Even off the record. Well, you were sworn to secrecy. We were never allowed to tell the story of what happened when we filmed there. And you told it, you told the story. I was, I mean, I were allowed to, which I was in shock.

You didn't know that that happened. They went to jail in the Dominican Republic. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I could, and, and, um, Caroline Manzo sent you a picture of like her Lauren Albi and Chris and Greg all just kind of sitting there in the prison waiting, waiting to find out what they were doing. But at the time, I mean, for anyone that doesn't know this story, we were filming, but off camera,

we had a night out. I think this was season three, the very first season that I joined the show, we did our cast trip in the Dominican Republic, and let me just tell you, off camera, we were out in a club one night, big, you know, little Teresa sprayed some champagne, the woman got mad, the guy got mad at you guys think who you are and just it just started to the point where Joe and I were able to leave the country. But Joe Judas was not able to leave the country. Caroline, the man's old boys.

I mean, it was, it was a crazy thing and Dave tells that whole story for us in his book. And was Jacqueline, were they there too, Jacqueline and Chris? Yes, Jacqueline and Chris were there. I think they got out as well. Yeah, they got out. And I think, and I guess Kathy and Richie got out too. I think it was just Joe Judice in the video.

So, it's David. And maybe Teresa, I don't know if Teresa was able to leave. I know Joe and I were able to leave. I don't Teresa, I don't know if Teresa was able to leave. I know Joe and I were able to leave. I don't know. I don't know anybody else. That was a crazy story. Crazy. I have to tell you where the here's how it came up.

Dolores was talking to me and she was saying, oh, when you know what happened to the Dominican Republic where they all got arrested and blah, blah, blah. And I was like, yeah, yeah. And then like, then I was like, wait, what did I? What did she just say? You know, I would like take you a second to process things. So she kept talking, I was like, I'm sorry, can you just come back for a second? What happened in the minute? Republic? Like, I was like, did I forget? Oh my God. So you didn't know. And she kind of just slipped out with it. And is this the part where you go to Bravo and say, hey, Am I allowed

to like write this? No, actually, this is the way I kind of handled the whole book is that I never talked to Bravo at all until the end. I was like, here's the book. So like, I just continued to explore the story and I put everything that I thought was like a juicy good story in the book. And then, you know, mention because if I started going to them and said, could I say this or not say this, I assume that they would just. Oh, no, you're just writing it and then they're going to, when they read it, they're going to like take their notes or whatever. Exactly. I was like, I don't want, I don't want to give them any say into this until the end, which is fair.

Did they pull a lot out or not much? No, again, just the salary. That was the only information that got removed. And some people talk some smack about Andy and he was like, keep it in there. Like he, I mentioned anything that somebody said, I respect him for that. I respect him for

keeping it in there and not just making it like it's all perfect all the time because it's not the text messages he gets. He's oh my god. You have no idea. You had one instance with the housewives having to like discuss their lives, right? With all he deals with it on a day to day basis. I don't think people get the Andy Cohen, not only is he like a celebrity himself,

but he really does have a bad, he produces these shows as well and he's in there, you know? So he gets text messages all day long. You know, it's funny because a lot of people give him grief for having like, oh, you play favorites. And, you know, I think that he's very fair to everyone, but I think ultimately, you know, this long in, he keeps a little bit of a distance from himself

and especially newer housewives, I think, because it's like, I've been doing this for a long time and I don't need, you know, there's layers of other people you should go through before I ever get the call. But some of the OGs like, you know, like, like you who've been there for so long, you got this number, I bet. Yeah, of course I do. Yeah, we have, I have, I, we have it. Yes, the ones who've been there for a long time definitely have, you know, a different type of relationship with him, which,

you know, we appreciate. And he appreciates, I mean, he's taken Joe and I out to dinner before just because and just literally sat down in front of us and said, just thank you. Thank you for everything you guys have given us and being telling your story and being truthful. So, you know, that's always great. I mean, so listen, here's the wrap on book. Is there gonna be a part two? Are we gonna get sequel? Do you think you could do it again? Is there more stories to tell?

Well, yeah, there's so many more stories to tell. Again, this is how out of connection Bravo and I were when this was process was going on is because after the book was done, then like girls trip comes out then all these things right and I was like oh my gosh I wish I could put all this back in like I wish there was more um so yeah I would there's a lot more to tell and I would gladly do a sequel I would also approach another franchise I I really want to do below deck I love below deck that

franchise and I think there's a lot of stuff out there, juicy. But you know, once you go through the process of doing nobody taught me how to do an oral history book, nobody taught me how to write a book, no one taught, you know, you kind of just figure it out. So now that I've gone through it, there's a lot of things I would do differently, just like from a standpoint of the process of writing, of recording, of editing, of all that stuff differently, to make it. Well, I sure know how I'll answer your questions the next time.

I will not be looking at the view of my sure house at the water in the backyard. I will make sure I am in a deep dark hole and I am hungry and I am aggravated. I will make sure I answer the questions correctly the next time. I won't be so happy. I think that you answered the questions exactly as I as you should have and but I love that idea nonetheless. Listen, there's different sides to everybody and you were in a really good space and quite frankly this is the record that many people will be

looking back towards for years on end. So if the record is that you're in a positive you know kind space and not talking negatively about people, I think you'll be happier in the long run. Okay, good. Well, thank you. So listen, on that note of questions, I want to do this reoccurring bit that we do on our show all the time. Okay, it's called grilled with Gorgah. Okay. I'm just going to ask you some rapid fire questions. Just give me one word to answer. Just answer me. Okay. You ready? Here we go. Grilled with Gorgah. First celebrity crush. Jonathan Taylor Thomas. What a cutie he was. Do you remember him? Yes. Such a cutie. Home improvement. I could sing this song. Okay, all right. Your favorite 80 song. Oh,

probably Haul and notes. You make my dreams come true. Best decision you've ever made. Best is yeah, following I think this instinct of wanting to be a reporter, you know, of wanting to write. I, I think I took a lot of risks in my own personal life to do it. I left a job that I was succeeding in and doing, you know, very well, and it was much more corporate. And I was like, let me just take a chance at this. And I think it was the best decision ultimately, because here I am. Biggest regret. Probably, there are some friendships over the years that I think I've just kind of fallen out that I have been bad at communicating that I look back at with regret that I wish that I would have either like wrap them up a little bit better or maybe just you know

and then off on a better note. Yeah, I've been a little bit more honest about how I was feeling. I was very good at ghosting for a long time. So these are friendships that, you know, meant something to me at the time. People come into your life for a reason and a season. These were seasons. And I should have closed those doors a little better. I hear you. Pet pee. What's your pet peeve, Dave? People who are mean to service people. So if you're nasty to a waiter or a waitress or somebody at a retail space, that is a huge pet peeve major red phlegm OGs. 100, but you leave the date right then and there. Now okay, speaking of date, worst date. What's the worst date? Tell me about it. Oh my god. I

well, I've had a lot of horrible dates in my life. One of them, I met up with somebody who I had sent photos to and I had been texting back and forth with on social media. I'm like an app for a long time on a okay, keep it. I think it was or okay, stupid, as I called it. And I met up with him at a bar and he gave me one of these. He's like, look up and down and was like, I'm sorry, I'm not interested anymore. And I was like, oh, wait, like another words like I'm looking at you and I'm not liking it. Yeah, like he was. What's the step in that one sucked. I was like, but you know what in a weird way. It's like, thank you so much for not wasting anymore. Exactly. At least you didn't anymore of the time. Exactly.

At least you didn't waste one more minute. Right. Right. Something about you that would surprise us. I am incredibly shy in large social groups. If like, if I'm in a huge circle, I'm very outgoing. What I want, I can talk to anybody, but I mean, if I'm in a large party,

I sometimes I get very quiet. Wow. Okay. First concert. First concert you've ever been to. Billy Joel, I'm born and raised in New York, right? So I went to Billy Joel. That was my first concert my brother took me. I think we receded like 11th row center

and it was the most, at that time I had like known every lyric off the top of my head like I still do. And it was an incredible concert. First job, what was your first job? The gap I worked at the gap from the age of like 15 when I got my workers permit to all throughout college and a little bit afterwards who I was a visual merchant nice and manager by the end. So I did like the mannequins and the displays and everything like that. And yeah, I see you are artsy. Listen, it's a retail is all about talking with the customers about what they need and helping them get what they want and you know being able to communicate with people that way is very similar to working as a journalist. It's about like finding out what the story is and telling it as clearly as you can favorite food pizza.

I mean it has like three favorite food groups cheese bread and sauce. Favorite favorite late night snack. Pizza. Favorite TV show to binge watch. I mean, I guess I have to say the housewives because that's what we're talking, you know, that's been the life. But I watch a lot of television. I watch a lot of TV. So there's so many other things beyond. I'm a big, if you're going to late night, you just want to do something beyond housewives. H-E-T-B, anything on H-E-T-B, like good phones or yeah, all that stuff is like a levator listed. Have you ever watched Love and Arlisted? With that woman? No, is it good?

There's this woman and she like, it's a one and a man and he's the real estate agent and she's like a renovator. So she'll redecorate the house that you live in and he'll try and find you a new house and you choose whether redecorate the house that you live in. And he'll try and find you a new house and you choose whether you want to love the house you're in or list it and sell it. And she is such a fucking bitch. I love her so much. She's incredible.

She would make an amazing housewife. You see the way she talks to men? Imagine what you would do to another woman. Wow, she'll tear you up. I would watch her in a million years. Yeah, Hillary bars. Oh my god. I love this. Okay. And let me ask you this because I always like to ask, how do you treat yourself? Oh, um, like if I like treat myself like something nice to do for myself, um, sleep. What

do you do when you when they're gonna treat themselves? Sleep. I'm gonna, I'm gonna like let myself go to sleep. I'm gonna like turn my phone off off and try and get eight hours in if I can. All right, well, I just want to give a huge thank you to you. Thank you, Dave Quinn, for your time. I know you're a busy guy and I really do appreciate you. Thank you so much to the listeners. If you haven't already picked up this crazy book, you need to do yourself a favor and grab a copy of Dave Quinn's New York Times best seller, not all diamonds and rosé. It's the whole inside scoop of the Real Housewives from all the franchises. Dave, I love you. You're such a sweet soul. You're such a good guy. And I wish nothing but more success for you. You're just you're just getting started. such a good guy and I wish nothing but more success for you. You're just, you're just getting started. Thank you so much, Melissa.

I love you too. And next time I'm inviting myself back, if I come back again, I want to interview you again. I have more follow up questions. Okay, good. Let's do it. I'm ready and I'm going to be a little more nasty next time. Thank you very much. That's good.

Okay. Thanks, Dave. Let's do it! Yeah!