Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #427

Episode Date: March 1, 2019

On this week's PKA, we're guestless again, that's not a negative, that's a positive! The guys watch some dumb livestreamers get shot by police and wannabe guards who THINK they're police, Kyle shows off his enormous, succulent meat for all of us to enjoy and then speaking of meat... the boys talk about who they'd happily suck off, to steal and acquire their special abilities and talents. So hop on in for a sweet ride!

Pinkular Ready, episode 427. We had a sudden cancellation on the guest. Kyle? Few sponsors this evening. Casper Mattresses. Lending Club. MeUndies. Chegg.com.

And Turo. Turo is a peer-to-peer car sharing marketplace where you can book any car you want, wherever you want it, from a community of local hosts, from exotic sports cars to practical daily drivers. You can choose the best car for you, whatever your budget. Download the Turo app, that's T-U-R-O, on the App Store or Google Play

or just visit Turo.com. Get $25 off your first trip when you sign up for Turo using promo code PAINKILLER. At checkout, terms, of course, will apply. I like these services a lot. I've never used one. We've talked about them in the past before. I think when we had that guest who was the car guy who did the car YouTube stuff,

I don't know if this is the particular one that he was touting, but I really like the idea of it. I never pulled the trigger on it. I got busy and never did it, but I do want to drive that Tesla. Are there restrictions on comparisons we can make? Are there any do not says on this? I would say

probably don't name any competitors. Okay, good. Well, what I was going to say is this idea, it's like Airbnb for cars, right? Where people take their own cars and rent them out. Instead of having just like, I don't know, 10,000 Ford Tauruses to choose from, you get all the cool stuff that you'd like to see.

And that's a neat idea. You know what would be a good service? It would be like Airbnb, but people to save your spot in line. I like that. Like at public events and things. So if you want to wait in line at a concert, or if you want to meet President Trump, oh, this is already a thing?

You can do that. Look, I'm aware of every little dirty way to get around the not-so-fun parts of life. You can hire a handicapped individual to stand in line for you at Six Flags. Okay? Why would I waste the money when I can pretend to be retarded?

That's good thinking, Taylor. It's an app that lets you pretend to be retarded. That's good thinking, Taylor. It's an app that lets you pretend to be retarded. I'll have to try, though. It's 905. I should be drooling. AOC went to DC, and she acted like it was a big... Someone help me with her full name. Something Cortez.

Alexandria... I don't know who we're talking about. Ocasio-Cortez. Oh, you know her. She's the most known Democrat politician. She's the one that wants to end air travel. That's actually not true.

But anyway... She wants to phase it out and make it unnecessary. You know, it's about time. We need to move on to trains. It turns out Chiz has been ahead of the game the whole time. I know who Chiz is voting for. The Green Seal. Cortez down ballot.

What it actually said was they wanted to put more trains in so that they could phase out, like replace air travel when possible. But the paramotor community went nuts over it, as if they're after our stupid butt fans, like wearing the crosshairs. And as though they're ever going to do that, it's like we're going to get rid of air travel It's like well I guess being a businessman Is kind of hard now You just hop on a maglev train

And just air across the country Breaking the sound barrier Blowing out windows in people's homes As an American I don't know what this is People seem to like these High speed trains everywhere else And I like the idea of less security. But how long is that going to last?

I don't know. Like, it seems like. Oh, it would not be less security. They'd immediately like ratchet it up to TSA levels if they replaced a large amount of flying. You could cause some damage. The big problem with planes now is parking half a mile away and arriving 90 minutes early. That's the worst part with planes. If you're telling me a train was like, I don't know,

instead of a three-hour flight, it was a five-hour flight, but I just walked on like it was a car, then I would take that. I think it'd be better. Oh, I'd still want to fly for sure. Why? I'll just do whatever's going to get me there faster. I don't know that it does, especially if you check luggage.

So I added two hours to it, but there's 90 minutes of getting there early. That sucks. And then on the other side, that's why I mentioned check luggage. You know what? I would be curious as to what the process for getting your luggage back when your train stops. Because right now, the thing I dislike the most about air travel is you get there, and now there's like another hour sometimes. Like sometimes they just tax you around the fucking tarmac and that's infuriating.

On a train. Oh, you meant before you get there. Yeah, on an actual airplane. Yeah. And then like, you know, getting up there and getting your luggage. Sometimes you can't find the right carousel. Sometimes they lose your fucking shit and send it to another state. I've had that happen i pictured it as like a pile in the car like it is on small trains like if you take a train just down the road then like like the bus that takes you to

the rental car place they've got a little rack there wow if it's i'm not voting for that degenerate airplane i only brought her up because she promises If she promises the planes are very, very fast, I'll vote for her. I only brought her up because she mentioned that in D.C. she was outraged that people were hiring homeless people to keep their spot in line. And I'm like... That's hilarious.

Where's, like... Who's the victim? That's job creation. That's job creation! Yes, yes! Like, are you too good to stand in line? I just hired someone to do something for me. Is that in general a bad concept? Are you too good to protect yourself? What are all these secret service agents around you for?

Let's get you a pistol and you can guard yourself. Imagine the taxpayer savings. And those security guards can now be homeless. That would be the coolest politician. And they could stand in lines. Oh, that would be so cool. in lines. One who turned it down. It's like, Representative Huxton from Montana turns down coverage.

He's like, I didn't need coverage for myself and my family before and sure as hell don't now. You try. You try. You come to my home here. He'll tweet his own picture with crosshairs on it This is my dress

This is my face I will fucking murder you and your kids Whoever shows up with the off kill I'm a governor now Mind the booby traps I don't sound like I'm from Montana for some reason Not at all In this example

I don't know if you're from Missouri or West Virginia I'll tell you right here Not at all. A drifter wandered onto my parts about last summer. I don't know if you're from Missouri or West Virginia. I'll tell you right here, there's a lot of mayhaps illegal booby traps on my property. Are you going to risk it? Antifa? I didn't think so, showing up with your lock in a sock. I'll blow your goddamn head off. That actually would be kind of cool.

Kevin McAllister's got nothing on me. If you remember when Trump was running for office, when that guy did something. He pulled a gun out or he tried to pull it. And the Secret Service tried to pull Trump away and Trump was like, no.

I'm not afraid. He stood there and it was kind of cool. That was a plus in the Trump column. You can't argue that it wasn't. afraid and like like stood there and it was kind of cool you know i i that was that was a plus in the trump column it you can't argue that it wasn't like oh yeah yeah yeah he he did a like for a guy that i don't think is actually tough right like this is a guy who you know the bone spurs for the nom and it just would you go on the nom i got you always shit on him for that what you'd have gone yeah i think i would have i hope i would have um but you know i. You'd have gone. Yeah, I think I would have. I hope I would have. But, you know, I wasn't tested.

You hope you would have? Yeah, I hope I would have had courage. Yeah, he doesn't mean he hopes that he wanted to go. He means like the same way I, if I got drafted into it or whatever, like I would want to have the self-respect to go just because it's kind of dishonorable in a way not to. No, it's not. Not that war.

Everyone agrees that was a criminal war. Someone's going. Soldiers don't know that. So if you pretend to have bone spurs, they just grab the next guy in line. Yeah. And if he doesn't pretend he has bone spurs and he's a dummy. Look. That's where the cowardness comes in. Yugoslavia

bombs us tomorrow and we start drafting every able-bodied man to go fight the Slavs, I'll sign up. They have declared war on us. They've attacked us on our own soil. The thing about Yugoslavia is they're not a country anymore. If we get bombed by Yugoslavia, we have way bigger problems.

That's why I don't have to worry about... They've invented time travel. From 92... What I'm saying is... If the Russians come, come then then like all right i will go defend my homeland i get it they need me and this is a just war we have been attacked on our own soil with no provocation let's go world war ii was much like that with the japanese especially so but when you've got the the vietnam war started by some fakery in the gulf of tonkin and then we just

yeah yeah it's a criminal war that's being that's being perpetrated by two u.s presidents kennedy wasn't wasn't going to go in there it said so i don't blame kennedy i don't make it three but that's why they killed him that's why they killed him that's part of it the military industrial complex what re watches speeches he talks about look into it look into it look into i would not go to that if if if i know what i know now of course i'm from the future there's no way i go to that war and i like to think that if there were a war like that that if the exact same thing happened again right if they were like ah the the disney starline cruise magenta was taken down in taiwanese waters and but but then there's there's some like news

sources like actually um they were warned not to sail into those waters and and i heard tell that there actually was a skeleton crew on that boat i'm gonna wait a minute is the war like starting some have you noticed there's not many grieving families and that there was a U.S. destroyer there? Now, what you've got to understand is this is Sandy Hook 2.0. This is the exact opposite of Sandy Hook. Sandy Hook, nothing happened. They wanted you to believe something did. Here, something did happen. They want you to believe it didn't. All the families are in the hold of that same ship. It's total control of the situation. So when I hear someone skip down on Vietnam,

like Muhammad Ali, for example, I view them as someone who was smart enough and brave enough to stand up and be like, no. I see that person as almost braver than the people who went over there and smoked dope and opium and killed children in villages to get body count.

I was with you i was with you until you went braver like i i can see the argument they took him out his prime woody but um i i still think there's a solid argument on my side which i bet you can see it which is like if they skip over me they choose someone else and i've been and why is in my heart of hearts why am i really going am i really going because Am I really going because I'm not going? Because it's a bad war or because I'm a pussy? It's because it's a bad war. It's because it's a bad war.

That's why I see it that way. I remember plenty of people there who were like, Foresight's 2020. Look! That's why they were spitting on soldiers when they came back. When Ted Nugent shit himself and left it like that for days and i don't think he was honorably protesting i think he was a pussy it's pretty brave to walk around covered in your

own shit let's see you do it let's see you do it macho man you shit yourself and walk around in it for a few days if you did that nowadays you could get like a feminist improv art trophy or something. Taylor, I identify as a diaper. Well, after my traipsing through DeviantArt over the past week, you're not alone. I had no idea. Not at all. This wasn't even our first topic. Do we want to... No, no.

So famous black gay, Juicy Sommelier, I believe is his name. That's his name. That's right. Isn't it, Taylor? Juicy Sommelier. What did old Juicy Sommelier I believe is his name. That's his name. That's right. Isn't Taylor Juicy? What did old Juicy Sommelier do? He's this black Frenchman. Yes, he is. He's a wine expert, I'm told.

He's on the show Empire. Never seen it. Never will. Never will. And so my understanding is that a few weeks ago he came out. And you and I discussed this semi-privately how we thought it was bullshit. Chiz is taking credit for being the first to be like bullshit, because he tweeted it even, like right away.

Oh, tons of people tweeted it right away. He claimed that he was accosted on the streets of Chicago, I believe. Excuse me. Coldest week of the year at like 2 in the morning. 2 in the morning, coldest week of the year at like 2 in the morning. 2 in the morning. Coldest week of the year. By two white guys in MAGA hats. And they beat him, poured bleach on him,

and hung a rope around his neck. He does look light-skinned. From the bleach. You know, I'm starting to buy into this story. It could be. You know how they always talk about you know that whole thing where like steel beams don't melt and that was part of it bleach freezes okay they were out there waiting on this guy in the freezing cold for hours apparently to walk by

because he was targeted clearly by by his description of events yeah so he stumbled remember they screamed as they were coming at him this get out of here and then like a bunch of epithets this is maga country downtown chicago this is maga country this is maga country what are you doing here with your fucking footlong blt that's all i'm glad you mentioned that that's part of part of the first time I heard this is when I started. So everyone was doubting the story. And I'm like, I just stay quiet waiting for the facts.

And then when I heard that after this beating and bleaching and MAGA country craziness that he made it back with his Subway sandwich unharmed. That's when I started doubting. He left the rope around his neck. He left the rope around his neck and when i heard that his face was so superficial that even the chicago pd is like he probably like did this to himself with a key would be my guess

i don't know this is certainly not what you get see how it's uniform and shallow that's not what happens when you i have been out of here in mega country i have hate-crimed many a black in my days in the chicago pd and let me tell you let me tell you they look a lot worse than that okay yeah and then it came out like he said for the longest time like he doubled down his morning america good morning america interview where he's like oh they got me and they they attacked me and what's and whatnot and then it comes out that he hired two Nigerians who are also working on Empire to do this to him. Footage comes out of the two Nigerian brothers in a convenience store buying supplies for

it. Hate crime supplies. And then the funniest fucking thing is he paid them by check. How much of a fucking retard do you have to be to go through all of this? This guy is a fucking idiot. Stone cold retard to think all these mistakes wouldn't catch you. What's the going rate for this? Do we know how much you get paid for it? $3,500 is what he paid them.

Wow. I'd have hate crimed him for that. Yeah. I'd have done it for $3,200. It's a good deal. Yeah. It's a good deal. It's a good deal to fake a hate crime and become part of a... You have to wait in the cold. You become part of a criminal conspiracy

and it's a pretty serious felony, but hey! $3,500 is $3,500. In Nigeria, I could buy an entire village. These guys are... this is hilarious. I saw Joe Rogan talk about this. They were like, you know, when this story first came out, we went off the air.

And I looked at Jamie and I was like, bullshit. Bullshit. He was like, yeah, no way. No fucking way. But we couldn't say anything because that's how things are now. You're not allowed to question you're not allowed to question when a when a gay black man says that he was magged you just gotta take it you just gotta take it on face value you know and i thought it was

funny because taylor brings us up all the time how there's so many false flag hate crimes since trump has gotten into office there's been a bunch of where these people will paint swastikas on um jewish uh what do they call temples or they'll uh jewish cemeteries that one that was really popular and big in the news for a while it was an israeli citizen doing it or the bomb threats calling in to all the synagogues it was an israeli citizen doing it to them and it's like like if these things are so prevalent, why not just go with the real stories? Why does this guy need to pump it up

and pump the gas that much? Who could possibly believe that someone is screaming, this is MAGA country in Chicago when it's like minus 30? The angle I've been hearing is that this isn't somehow to slander MAGA people.

It was to, like his motivation was to enliven his career. Yeah. Why would we trust this guy's self reported motivation for this? I don't trust anything he does. Taylor, I don't know why you're so skeptical of this man at this point.

Do you know that he was charged with providing false information? Is it because he's black? It's because he's black, isn't it Taylor? You just don't trust him. You're right. That's it. He was charged in 2007 with providing false information to police do you know what the i'm curious do you know much more about that uh he uh so juicy juicy samoa interesting you can look it up i don't know what the information yeah i'm not doubting it i'm just like it was it was one thing that came up. Yeah. Definitely not this big a deal. Well,

he tried. I did this. So juicy sommelier, uh, was in some trouble with his, uh, with his show. There were talks that maybe he was going to get cut or something like that. The empire,

uh, higher ups are now quote unquote, closely watching the situation. That's interesting. Yeah. Cause I, so I read about his job. He works for Fox. I guess Fox Entertainment is different than Fox News, but whatever.

Well, yeah. Fox makes empire. Right. And they were saying that he was always professional and great on the show, and they're still deciding about his future after this fraud. So anyway, I don't know know i don't know what i thought it was also suspicious when like i think one of the things he said was that he was on the phone with a someone when the attack happened and the police were like oh shit well give us your phone

and we'll be able to corroborate that and he was like ah nah and at first i was like well maybe he's got like dick pics on his phone or something he doesn't want to be like he's a celebrity he probably doesn't want to unlock his phone and hand it over to law enforcement that you're a dummy if you do that if you're anyone but you could be like let me go get i have some personal stuff on my phone let me go take that off i'll bring it to you tomorrow like that's what you do right like like that that's what you do yeah you don't just withhold altogether i hire an attorney i don't know what to do. I know this. You hire an expert and you follow their advice. That's how... You do a lot of things like that

in life, kids. That's what I would do. If a cop wanted my phone... A race bait fraud attorney. You need a criminal attorney. You're wrong. Why can we not agree?

Fuck white people. Well, that's poignant. The prosecutor's like, damn it! He used the fuck white white people method. God damn it. Pulling his hair out. Your Honor, I enter into evidence

slavery. Damn it, he's using the slavery defense. Do we need a new topic? I mean i if you guys were gonna fake a hate crime okay you would not go this over the top like you would do what i think i think we're all smart enough to orchestrate our own fake hate crime and not have it crumble the way this guy's did what would your kind of do you have any ideas of how you would fake a hate crime against you against our own personal selves as white yeah like do what juicy sommelier did where you set up a fake hate thing so that you get attention for it hmm you definitely wouldn't want to go so far

as people in chicago are screaming this is mega country yeah that's not a good one it's not believable um no not at all. So I think you need some good co-conspirators, right? Like, I don't know any. Like, if I got Jeremy to come... Yeah. Oh. Kyle, you didn't even think of me?

I'm a little hurt. I'll be here for $3,500. I ain't got it for free, but... Yeah, just sign the back of the check and... I assault people all of the time for free i absolutely will do this for 3500 american yeah i i don't know i think as white man it's difficult my first instinct was depending on a fan sorry guys but that wouldn't be a hate crime because they weren't doing it oh it needs to be a hate crime it would have to be because you're white

or because you're because i feel like i've got enough fan history you know like videos made about me and SWAT teams called on me and stuff like that that they'd be like this is the 17th one and they finally heard him right like there's a long history of like verifiable fussing at me i mean what if you got swatted and the cops shot you could you sue the department that seems to be very tough to sue policemen for shooting none of these guys seem to win hmm yeah it's a weird thing where state like i feel like for kyle to shoot to make it me i don't know why i made it kyle for me to shoot someone, I really have to prove that I was in a dangerous spot and that I couldn't leave.

There's a lot of you-had-no-choice type things that surround shooting someone in most states. But cops, all they had to be like, I was a little scared. He was 21 feet away. Made me nervous. You want to see a cop shoot someone? See, step one from your hate crime fakery,

you can't be beating you up because they'll notice there's not enough beating it would have to be something and it couldn't be rape because they'd check your ass yeah it would be it could be something like you assume if they check my ass they'd find nothing taylor you don't know what i'm into he held a gun to me and he he said you better suck this dick, you little straight boy. And so I sucked his dick, and it took him forever to come. I'm not very good. That's why you can see me, Your Honor, from 3.15 a.m. until 4.40.

I'm blowing him in that alley. You can see many others, many other white supremacists walk by and filmed it red tube now it was the first time I sucked dick as far as you know yeah you wouldn't get away with it if it's like he forced me to suck his dick and it's like your honor

this well seasoned gay man who forced you to suck his penis would you say sir you've had a good amount of good amount of time with your penis in others' mouths? Well, yes. Yes, definitely. And how long does it usually take you to climax? Give or take. Eight to twelve minutes, I'd say.

And how long, I ask, did it take you to climax with Mr. Taylor? Well, no more than ninety seconds. He really knows what he's doing. Damn it! Son of a bitch! The great tongue defense. So I have two videos.

I have two videos of... I'm going to just classify them both as police shooting people. One is... Well, it's just a black man who's... I'm going to say he has what I like to call crazy eyes. And he gets in a shootout in his garage,

and it looks so much like my garage that it was a little upsetting. Is this already linked? No. I'm scanning. Oh, okay. And the other is a streamer in Los Angeles getting shot in the leg by a security guard, who I'm just going to put under the blanket of law enforcement slash police. Yeah, close enough.

Which would you like to see? Who I'm just going to put under the blanket of law enforcement slash police. Yeah, close enough. Yeah. Which would you like to see? Let's see the garage one that looks like your garage first. Okay. Is it your current garage or one of your old garages? My current garage. Okay. I don't know why that was important to me.

I don't know. Taylor, we need more... I'm sorry. Kyle, we need more clarification on which garage. Of the garages we don't know the layout of. Which one is it? How many square foot... What's the square footage would you say?

Did you paint the floor? I like to put that stuff with the little sprinkles in it down. I have protection against doorsteps. Alright, I'm ready on this vid. I'm just gonna pull the screen a bit better. And it's called body cam show oh it's on the

this didn't get very upvoted on the subreddit but it's called body cam shows police shooting during Instagram live stream countdown? 3, 2, 1, play 2 1 play what's up come here move around

move around come here Rachel come here Rachel come here get your hands up get your fucking hands up get your hands up get your hands up

get your fucking hands up put your hands up dude whoa not the Camaro hey there's rules against dry what is it called blind firing This guy would be kicked out of the paintball

Field What Yeah he's streaming this Live bro straight up y'all finna see this Live bro I take one for the team yo I swear to god I swear to god Yeah, he's streaming this! Is the cop screaming? I'm very confused. You didn't catch what was going on there?

Can you lay it out for me? I couldn't follow the camera. Well, I'm no expert. I haven't read anything, but it appears to me that that man dressed as Grimace from the McDonald's commercials... The very charming guy with the neck tattoos.

I found him actually likable aside from... And the McDonald's commercials. The very charming guy with the neck tattoos. I found him actually likable aside from the... And the medallion. Yes. All cool things. We agree. I love it. I love it. I like his look. I don't want to interrupt the flow. That's no juicy sommelier type punk, okay? That's a real black man right there.

And he was... Clearly the police had been called for some reason. Probably because he's beating the shit out of his girl, and she's standing there not wanting to go with the cops. Rachel, as he calls her, and the cops are dragging her away, and he's saying, get your hands off her, get your hands off her. Oh, okay, thank you.

And then he says... And he is the guy standing by the hood of the yellow Camaro. No, that's the policeman. No, no, that's what he's talking about. He's talking about the guy with the forward-facing cam. The black man is in the garage

on the back right fender of his Camaro. Ah, okay. And the black guy is pulling the girlfriend back into the house. He is not touching her. The cops are pulling her out into the yard. Yes. he's like next to the door like back a little bit where he's next where's the the charming black guy

that's who we're talking about no where is he though what's he i can't figure out where he's by the he's by the back rear fender of his camaro all right that is also where the girl is right no no she's near the entrance of the garage near the front right headlight ah so he's yelling at the guy to put your hands up and the charming guy and the charming guy is live streaming it yes but he's not live streaming it the way people would want to see he's looking into his own face cam going you're're going to see this live. I'll take one for the team. You're going to see this live. And thank God for those body cams

or we wouldn't have seen anything live because it would have just been his face. Yeah, terrible cameraman. Yeah, come on. What the fuck are you thinking? If you're about to be hate-crimed by a police department, get the camera turned right, okay? Yeah.

And no more of this vertical bullshit. Come on. Landscape, baby. Did you see what he was doing? Because I saw he had his left hand up holding the phone okay yeah and no more of this no more of this vertical bullshit come on landscape baby did you see what he was doing like because i saw he had his left hand up holding the phone and his and they kept saying put your hands up and he didn't put his right hand up and then what did did he like move to grab i'm guessing i couldn't see i'm guessing he pulled out a gun that you can't see but yeah he took one for the team whatever we you know we don't know what happened frankly is he dead i i like i said we don't see you don't know what happened frankly is he dead i like i said we don't see

don't know what happened i'm sure he's fine but the cops are yelling 12 13 times i'm not positive kyle's right on all of this uh the cops are yelling get your hands off of her get your hands get your hands off her not get your hands up they're saying no no the black man is saying get your hands off of my girlfriend oh maybe you're right there's a large description and i'm scanning it and it like i'm trying to read all this like in real time without slowing down the show and it's a lot um yeah you can't see where his right hand is i'm re-watching the cops are dragging his girl out he doesn't want them to do that he's upset about that and he must have either grabbed for a weapon or done something that looked like he's grabbed for a weapon because they obviously lit him the fuck up

um i don't know i thought that was interesting to see someone linked that to me earlier he he fired several shots at the police um it doesn't say how many. It just calls it multiple rounds. But he didn't hit the police. And the police fired back at him, but they didn't hit him. Yeah. He's holding the phone vertically, but the gun landscape.

That's the problem. You reverse that, and we're golden here, okay? You want your gun vertical and the camera horizontal okay the guy's name is la forest and um he's telling his wife come here and she's that guy's not married the description is to believe he's married to the woman in question they're living in sin okay well maybe there's a common law situation.

I doubt they filed any paperwork either. They don't seem to like doing that. The couple, after the shots are fired, told the police to leave because everything was fine and they should stay out of their business. I can't gurgle my own blood in my own home. No one was hit. No one was hit in this whole scenario.

The police missed every shot. LaForest missed every shot. Everything is fine. We could just let bygones be bygones. That is a tie. In the old days, that's what would have happened. That means he's free to go. No harm, no foul. That is a saying.

That's what Miranda writes. I hope that's what his lawyer uses in court. Your Honor! No harm, no foul. Are you a bird attorney? And there's whispering among the jury. Well, you know. This makes a lot of sense.

Court adjourned! If the police would have just left when we told them to, because that's our business, everything would have been fine. It's really stressful to have to watch this. To be pulled out of the garage and to have to watch my husband be attacked by like 10 police officers and then

a canine and carry him past me by his arms and his legs and his stomach on the ground. Authorities are actively investigating the shooting. I love how there's no accountability she has for her husband or boyfriend there. Like, really?

That was the best thing. He told us. We both told them, get the fuck out of here. And then they said, I'm a police officer. I'm not allowed to just leave. Put your hands in the air. I told you to get the fuck out of here. And then they just started shooting. All I did was

I wanted to show them my gun. I said, I have the same one. That's cool. He told them when they got there. How's my draw? He told them as soon as they arrived. When you fuck with me, you fuck with the man. They knew that going in, Your Honor.

me, you fuck with the man. They knew that going in, Your Honor. Yeah. So there wasn't established precedence and recognition of authority. But, Your Honor, he was told twice to get the fuck out of my house, pig. Yeah.

Yeah. It sounds like that Camaro got the worst of it Yeah They fucked his car up That is unfortunate It's a nice car You don't want to get me on bullet holes in any car That's a problem

The Tacoma would look better I think Maybe a little more badass It looked like an apartment complex kind of thing And so like I'm sure a couple of those bullets found their way Through the garage wall and hit somebody else's poor car. I hadn't even thought about all the drywall

implications of this thing, Taylor. Strong point. Sues the city for spackle. I bet you could shoot through Wayne's house with a.22, like all the way through one end, from one end to the other. Can you hang pictures in a trailer? In a double arm?

Very carefully. I don't know. I haven't spent much time on them. When he hits a million subs, will he be able to hang that thing? No. I don't think so. I just got this TV mount, and the TV

mount alone, I'm going to say, weighs 30 pounds. There's mount alone i'm gonna say weighs 30 pounds no way he could hang that there's no way he could hang that like did you put your tv on a wall taylor yeah was the mount itself kind of bulky the mount itself was probably 40 pounds i got it from like lows or something it was way heavier than i thought and if there weren't studs i wouldn't have been able to do it if there aren't studs you can't there's no way you can fucking do it and then the tv weighs another hundred like there's no way he could hang that there's no way wings could put up a a pka-sized television Dude these TVs. They're so big the one we got Kyle. Oh like when you lift it up people who haven't seen the podcast

Oh, yeah, that a week from now. I don't know Kyle and I both have the 75 inch Samsung Was it oh, what's the HDd led kind led yeah smart tv uh we got the same one not oled just l4k 75 inch led samsung yeah it's so big that like when i took it out of the box to like lift it up and put those uh the stands on it because i'm putting it on the entertainment system in my basement and so I'm not mounting this TV. Like just like moving it at all, like when I had a friend help me move it, like it's so big, I was like, this is almost bending.

This is freaking me out. Cause it's this thin and it is the size of a dinner table. Like it's the coolest TV I've ever seen. I can't wait to like sit down there and have a really cool movie night. But it freaks me out. When you moved it, have you unboxed yours? I haven't gotten it yet.

It shows up tomorrow morning. Were you motivated by the release of, I was going to call it Lord of the Rings, Game of Thrones. Were you motivated by Game of Thrones coming or it was just time? No, it was just time. Not at all. I was buying a whole new living room and so it was like well, if I'm going to have this nice place to sit in here,

I should have something to look at. And the TV that I really want, the OLED, is still $7,000. I'm going to get it. It's going to happen someday. But I was just like, I'll just get the $2,700 TV. And from the reviews, they were like, if you're not getting OLED, this is the best LED. And so I was convinced. The real thing is the best led and so i was convinced

the real thing is the blacks being extra extra black so but i think it'll be fun that's not worth seven grand or five extra thousand yeah essentially that that's the deal especially with taxes and everything so so yeah i'm excited to get it going don't care about blacks the same uh not enough to spend i like that take that's a good one what kind of a cool living room setup did you get do you have like a big sectional you got some couches i got like a extra large couch the couch with like the chase like thing on the side so that it's got the chaise lounge yes the chaise lounge that's very classy i don't know i got a bunch of tables and lamps and uh got a nice rug I don't know. I got a bunch of tables and lamps and got a nice rug.

I don't know. I just got a bunch of living room shit, a whole new living room, essentially, I purchased. And I'm going to mount that TV. And then I went and got a nice sound bar and a nice 4K Blu-ray player. And that's about it. And I've got a few of my favorite Blu-ray DVDs. So 4K, Ultra Blu-ray, whateverds uh so 4k ultra blu-ray whatever they're fucking called don't you have an xbox one i have an xbox one yes that's a blu-ray player

isn't it i don't know if it plays the ultra 4k ones it might in any case i already bought the 200 blu-ray player so it's it'll be here tomorrow um but but yeah i'm gonna have a nice little movie night last night i showed you that steak I bought, right? Yeah, you texted us You've got to see it This isn't in person, but this is as close as you're going to get It's insane I want to see it

While he's gone, I've said this on the show before Netflix is way better in 4K At first I thought The whole world says you can hardly tell the difference between 1080p and 4k and i'm like what are they talking about i don't even have that great eyesight anymore and i can easily tell the difference it turns out people know this because i've said it the bit rate on most of the streaming services and definitely netflix is like two or three times 4k as it is on 1080p and netflix so some of the benefit you get is by virtue of the bit rate but

why do you care it's better 4k will look much better if you have 4k the cow's back with his steak and a hunk of meat so this is a bone-in ribeye it weighs oh my god 2.82 pounds wow which he had previously described as two yeah he bought you bought two of these didn't you i got two of them wow that is a big chunk of meat like i want to take a bite like yeah like my hand for comparison it's as thick as all four of my fingers easily. It's insane. It's heavy. I got 2.82 pounds. It's,

it's, it's, I got it. He cut it fresh. I had him like special cut this thing. Look at that. Look at that richness, all that hemoglobin or whatever's still in there.

Yeah. It's, I'm very excited to cook these up tomorrow now like i said i got two of them you would tell it so i'm not a not everyone knows i'm like the opposite of a chef but there's a special way to cook meat of this size so i sous vide uh most of my steaks now and all of my fish uh it's it's essentially uh i think sous vide is french for vacuum uh vacuum seal or vacuum lock or something like that essentially what you do is you've got this device that keeps a vessel of water at a precise temperature so you put that device on a big vessel of water i'm gonna just use

a gigantic pot of water i've got and you set it to the perfect internal temperature for a medium rare steak, which off the top of my head is like 132 degrees. I'm not sure. I'll, I'll Google it again before I cook tomorrow. And you throw it in there for a few hours. You, if it's a,

if it's like a filet mignon, like an hour, hour and 20 minutes. But for this, I'm probably going to try to just go three hours to make sure I get it cooked well. And then you sear the outside and you're done. With a blowtorch?

Yeah. Is it literally like a propane blowtorch that you also use for plumbing? Yeah, but it's got this attachment on the front that's made for searing beef. That's this big, wide kind of thing. What is propane? Is it propane? Is it the same propane tank that we're all familiar with?

I would imagine so, right? So if you've ever watched there's a YouTube channel called Sous Vide Everything and that's what these guys do they just sous vide everything What are these? Fruits and vegetables? Sometimes, yeah

How much ammo can that channel have in the magazine where it's like well you've boiled eggs the normal way but have you done it in a bag they do all kinds of stuff they do um that you know they do all kinds of like blind taste test with like different cuts of meat and different quality of meat um and uh like all the meats you can imagine and you can do side items sous vide style as well you just you can put like potatoes and butter and salt and pepper in a bag and throw it in this pot and then in an hour you just take the bag and mush it a little and you've got like perfect potatoes or whatever like you can do that with carrots and you can do with anything

you make you can make really good soft boiled eggs uh it's it's a hundred dollar uh kitchen item that that does a lot of really cool stuff. I'm going to put this steak back. That makes sense. I don't have a sous vide, but he's selling me on it. I mean, you probably don't want one for sure, but bring it up to Jackie. Maybe she'll want one. No, yeah, that's the take on

this. Do I want one? The real question is, do I want Jackie to use one? She made me a steak for my birthday. My birthday was just this week. Happy birthday. You said when is it? It was Tuesday. No, I said happy birthday. Oh, yeah.

And the steak was perfect. So now I'm like, do you want to mess with that? Do you want her to learn to sous vide while I have nine bad steaks? I don't know that's true yeah you don't need to change a good thing that's in that's in leviticus kyle i have no idea if that's true or not but that's my problem every once in a while like i don't know the the existence of god will come up or something and it's like yeah i'm really

not educated enough to win a debate on this. No, there's a lot of biblical knowledge. Deuteronomy 23, 14. If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. Deuteronomy, that's the most popular song on YouTube. If you can't run with the big dogs, get off the porch. Do you remember that clothing brand that was like Big Dog back in the day? Yeah. It was just a picture of a pug sitting there. And it's like, if you can't run with the big big dog back in the day. Yeah. It was like just a picture of like a pug sitting there.

And it's like, if you can't run with the big dogs, get off the porch. And I was, I remember being like 10 years old in like some surf shop in Florida. We were walking around getting some stupid ass souvenirs. And I just was looking at those and I was like, this is what I want for my souvenir.

And they're like, you sure you don't want like a Frisbee or like a shark in a jar? Because you know, you've seen those, I'm sure, like the sharks in a jar. And I was like, nah, I want like three big dog shirts. So I had some cool ass big dog shirts. There was one where they're like all sitting around a table

playing poker, except they were sassy and giving a look of like, you're not welcome here, dick. It was way more aggressive i liked those my brother opted for the shark in a jar and it's like a little shark fetus or it's like yeah i guess a shark fetus they give sharks abortions i guess and uh it's in blue suspended in blue liquid in a glass tube and uh we had it for years because it was supposed to last forever and then one day like

he was in the bathroom and he got it up his head of like wow the bottom of this unscrews he went in there and unscrewed it and like poured some of the blue liquid into the sink to drain it and then the whole shark just like fell out and it's only like big maybe, but it's still a dead shark. It's the kind of smell that does not go away even when all physical remnants have been burned. It's thick in the air. It must have stuck

to the paint in the wall. If you guys are 11, you shouldn't be listening to this show. Just get the big dog shirts. Don't listen to them, kids. You'll learn a thing or two around here. So I grew up a few blocks from the boardwalk.

Those big dog shirts were my teenage years. I didn't own any, I don't think. But we'd just go and read them all. The big dogs, apparently they dominate the porch and the beach and this and that. The other was the electricians do it with power. Pavers do it with... Accountants do it with numbers. There's probably no accountants here. Efficiency.

Right? They're just... All the do it with options were fun too. Dude, can we... I want to see where this topic goes. You don't want to see the trans streamer get shot by a security guard in the leg?

We can do yours first then. Oh, there's a Twitch streamer. It's that link right there, yeah. I haven't seen this yet, but I'm told that it's a trans Twitch streamer. Shot by a security guard. Just one moment, everyone. I'm kind of

doing it up, shaping it for the screen. I hope it's nobody we know. Nobody you know, yeah. Yeah. Why do I think it's someone we know? I'm ready. Are you guys ready?

I'm ready. Ready, set, play. He said he was going to shoot me dead if I moved, everybody. Do I know this voice? No. Security guard, gun out, cool-ass Pokemon trainer. Oh, look at this security guard. What a fucking asshole.

I want to circle back to that thought. So it looks like he's at a temple. Oh, my God. He's the Hebrew Hammer. Look at him. He thinks... Is he Hebrew hammer. Look at it. He thinks Is he? No, but but but he's guarding synagogue I was gonna say is totally a Jewish Puerto Rican, dude, I don't know what Kyle

Yeah, I think you get those unless you remember I Don't know enough to know if Taylor made that up. I think he might have made that up. I'm just saying because he's on the inside of the... For those of you who aren't watching, this security guard is standing behind this wrought iron gate with a big star of David on it, rocking back and forth, and he's dressed with all this tactical horse shit

with, like, tactical gloves, and his Glock is, like, drawn and at the ready position. He's fiending for something, this guy looks like. He's got an angry face. Yeah, he looks like one of those English guards with the tall hats, except this guy's a fucking piece of shit. Cross street is the grove. Cross street is the grove.

He is... Did you say he was fiending for action that's yeah he's swaying like he wants something to go down really ready man he is ready is his gun drawn face down what just happened he just shot him in the leg fucker shot he just shot he just shot the kid who shot this guy shot me! He just shot the camera. Fucker shot me in the leg! Fuck! Get away! Get away! Oh, the fucker shot me in the leg!

Why?! I should have remembered what the hell he's saying! A two never lies! God dammit! Oh my god, he shot me in the leg! I wanna see blood drip onto the asphalt. He said that was a warning shot! Why is he so anxious?!

This fucker just shot me! Fuck, he just shot me in the leg! Can you hear what the distant voice is saying? Is he saying put your gun down? Fucker just shot me! Hey! In the leg! Go on the top!

He hit me in the leg! Fucker just shot me in the leg! Fucker just shot me in the leg! God damn it! Fuck! Ah! This dude wasn't doing anything. By warning shot, I think he means leg shot. You guys probably put that together.

I think he means next one goes you guys probably put that together I think he means next one goes in the heart so next one's a kill shot he ricocheted the bullet okay from what that's what it looked like to me I think he didn't look like he pointed at him he was aiming quite low he may have wanted it to be a one-shot but it doesn't matter what his intent was it's assault with a deadly weapon that's what he's being charged with come rejuvenate i was about to ask that's great kyle do you know more about this uh i know that he's charged with assault with a deadly weapon that's it yeah well he should be piece of shit i know that this guy was essentially just filming outside and this guy told him not to. And this guy called him a Nazi, but this guy's not a Nazi.

Who called you a Nazi? He was behind that fence everywhere. I was on the sidewalk. The guard called the victim a Nazi. Fuck! But the victim is a trans streamer, I'm told. God dammit, that motherfucker shot me in the leg! So probably not a Nazi? Probably not a Nazi.

You can't know that, Kyle. There are literally hundreds of millions of Nazis in this country every day. According to Juicy Somalia, the... Nazi Nigerians. I mean, he's moving around pretty good. I think it was a ricochet. He's not... Yeah, I just got shot a little. I really want was a ricochet. He's not... I just got shot a little.

I really want to see the wound. Yeah, we just got to the end of it. I don't understand the difference between a couple things. Assault with a deadly weapon? Attempted murder? Attempted homicide, I think?

Attempted manslaughter, I meant to say, I think is a thing? No? No, because manslaughter is an accident. Yeah, that's counterintuitive to attempt manslaughter. Yeah, like if you hit somebody in the car recklessly, that would be manslaughter, right? Yeah. And reckless endangerment. And three counts of not being cool.

And involuntary manslaughter there's in my justice system if i were king would be insane people being like we enter into we're charging you with three counts of being a bitch maybe like what do you mean it's like you special ordered poor uh tiffany to make a special hamburger for you at mcdonald's you know she's not gonna get it right you failed four times and then you wanted you i sentenced you to have to go get your own sandwich from now on would be what i would that would be the you know not that i'd pass the sentence you know what i would do is i would i'd take your man your burger just like you wanted it and i'd have you and the woman who delivered it stand there,

and I'd say, I'm going to cut this burger in half, and you can both have half. And then she would say, fine. It's fine. I'd love to have half a burger. And Kyle would go, no, please. If you're going to destroy it, just give it to her. Please.

I would rather her have it than see it destroyed. And then I would say, you are the true burger owner owner and then i'd tell that bitch to get her ass back and and correct the orders now there's not a lot of continuity in my system no it's it's it's a lot of hodgepodge and and make it up as you go but but you know kings worked for thousands of years so that would work they fuck it up every fucking time like it's a simple order it's a simple order it's a quarter pounder with big mac sauce essentially like come on don't put those big nasty onions on there you degenerate with your made-up fucking name yeah bitch what are you thinking anyway did you have yeah so i think i think you've got some sort of a mexican business woman getting

decapitated that sounds fun uh yes yeah yeah so um she was cute with the head i need a moment to get past that i mean she's probably still pretty cute without a head she's she's down to at least seven out of ten headless. Yeah, there's just... I don't even want to say she has two more holes for the loving now. So anyway, yeah, apparently they asked her husband to pay a ransom. And the husband played like tough guy. And he was like, we ain't paying no effing ransom.

And then they left a note with her body. And I want to read the note. Oh, all right. So the kidnappers left a note alongside the woman's body, which read, This happened to me because my husband played the tough guy and didn't want to pay my ransom. And now she's dead. And his wife. Wait, how much was the ransom?

$65. $4 million pesos is 207 000 oh my god what a cheap piece of shit yeah i have no idea i don't know what that means to them that could like i guess everything's a human life i like dude that doesn't mean that doesn't mean a human life to anyone oh i feel like we could all come up with $200,000 if mama's going to get her head cut off if we don't. Yeah. Yeah. You could prostitute yourself.

I was trying to get it with that. Money means different things to different people, right? Everyone knows that. If Jeff Bezos has to come up with $207,000, he probably pulls out his wallet. He probably has that in any of his bank accounts. No one ever tries to set up a payment plan with the cartel. But for other people, 207 is like, oh my god, I'm

going to... It'll be 30 years before I get out of this hole. And I'm just wondering where they were on the spectrum of that, that's all. Not to say that... What do they make, like $3,000 a year? Come on. You don't kidnap a woman who's married to a homeless man, okay?

He had the money. That's why they kidnapped her. They do their research. Maybe he orchestrated this whole thing. Ah, her husband's name, apparently, Juicy Sommelier. Pieces are falling into place. This guy is a real rap scallion.

It's, the note though, when I read the note, you know, my husband played, this happened to me because my husband played the tough guy and didn't want to pay my ransom

next to her decapitated body. That's when I thought this was a PKA story. Yeah, that's really fucked up. But also like, it would be funny if he was sort of thinking like oh thank god she is just a bitch and then they're like uh two hundred thousand he's like no they're like how about how about a hundred thousand he's like you you go fuck yourself you got like nine

grand he's like i already said there's the no. You send that headless bitch back. She's alive right now, sir. No, I don't. You send that headless bitch back. And you put a fucking note on that body that exonerates me. Pussy. I hear your cartel is all a bunch of pussies. I heard that you would never execute my cunt wife.

Everybody's saying all around the neighborhood, the Medoro cartel or whatever is not going to execute my cunt wife. They said, no, the Medoro cartel cannot use a hacksaw for shit. That's what everyone says. This story was on my psychotic Facebook feed as proof that we need a wall. Build that wall. Yeah, it was. They were like, if you don't that we need a wall build that wall yeah it was they were like if you don't think you need a wall read this how are we going to save mexican citizens

from the cartel unless we have a wall there i think what they're saying is do you really want this spilling over into el paso san antonio do you want phoenix arizona to be the kidnap capital of the world do you want your wife somewhere getting her head cut off by a bunch of beaners? I don't think so. No, we definitely don't want that wall, my God. When there's a prayer, there's a chance that this could happen

here. Hey, honey, how about we go to El Paso? That's not clear. I got a little place in El Paso and my friends, pod, Pablo, Pablo,

and fucking Mufio. Some shit, you know, they're going to, they're going to take you out for a night on the town. It's a new secret service. That brown pussy. You like so much. I saw how you.

For a second. I was like, no, she's a girl. It would be it. Oh wait. Yeah. He's doing that on purpose.

Oh yeah. Clinton's a big old guy. It took me a press second. I was like, no, she's a girl. It would be it. Oh, wait. Yeah, he's doing that on purpose. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Hillary Clinton's a big old dick. It took me a second to come around. She doesn't need to bring hot sauce to Mexico because that pussy is spicy. Caliente is what they say. I wonder if everyone will get that joke, but I did. Yeah, that hot sauce thing.

What was that thing that she posted during the election that was like so lame where she is like, uh, just chilling in Cedar Rapids, like Instagram account. And it's, oh, the fellow kids trend among politicians is so fucking funny when they'll like, like Beto will like post a picture of himself, like skateboarding and Ted Cruz will be like, just cause I'm a fat weirdo doesn't mean that I'm not marginally better than the rest of Congress at basketball. And it's like, wow, good job, Ted. You're cool.

You're really, you and Beto, just the pinnacles of coolness down there. Beto actually, so Beto's apparently good at social media. I see lots of compliments for his live streams and stuff. He gets it right. AOC gave lessons and one of her lessons was what you just gave out she's like use your own authentic voice you know if you wouldn't say these things in real life don't try to be something you're not like kristen gillibrand or jillibrand whatever it is like trying to do that like oh we're just organically cooking at my house and she was

wearing an apron and everybody immediately called her on that like there's still a crease in that apron whatever whatever handler bought that for you this morning didn't even iron it and then had her with like just like a normal sized frying pan and a piece of fish this big that she had like set most of it in there and then was sawing off the rest. You know how chefs do. How people who cook all the time do. Beto was using Facebook Live. I guess effectively I didn't watch him. Dirt One he was running for Senate in his losing campaign and then Ted Cruz

gave it a go. And then Ted Cruz gave it a go. They couldn't figure out the audio. They're in vertical mode. Everything was wrong. Then when they went to fix it and put it in landscape mode their image was just sideways for the stream dude i would that's the thing that i would love if trump started an instagram because you know he's not letting any tech savvy people help him through the process it'll just be like accidental uploads of like

how the fuck do but but it doesn't make any sense i already if i got if i what i already hit no i unmuted it you get jared in here get a little baron in here he's great with these kinds of things have you seen those photoshops of like baron trump it's similar to the trump's arms getting longer ever since he touched the orb meme. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Barron Trump is like an enormous, he's going to be like 6'10 or something. Yeah, he's huge. He's a big kid. And it was like,

it showed him like two years ago next to Trump and then this year next to Trump and he's like almost, he's like probably six foot now. And then there was like, except they changed it from like 2016 and 2018. Like 13 or something. And they made it like instead of 2016

to 2019 they made like 2016 2017 2018 2019 he's like his like his forearm is next to trump's head hugely walking through the grain they're like something's going on with baron trump and he's just nine and a half feet tall. Oh, those are fun. I knew a six foot three 12 year old. I used to swim with him. Yeah, he was huge. And he swam in the like 11 and 12 year old division.

And they had to bring his birth certificate to every meet because they thought we were like stacking it with an 18 year old. Maybe there's some sort of like a Spartan program we don't know about. And Baron is going to be the first initiate into the Space Force. And he's going sort of like a spartan program we don't know about and and baron is going to be the first initiate into the space force and he's going to be like a superman up there that that's entirely within the realm of possibility fighting communism and zero gravity maga style imagine just possible it's probable he's got like he's got like like like a cool ass space suit that says maga across the across the helm and he's got space a cool-ass space suit that says MAGA across the helm. And he's got space guns.

I like to think the top half of the helmet's red. Of course it's red. The whole suit's red. Just the top half of the helmet. It's got to look like the hat. Okay. Okay. We'll put a bill on his fucking space suit if you want.

I like where you're headed on this. And you need it for the sun. He's going to win again. He's going to win again. There's going to be like 15 fucking democrats running he's not gonna win again they'll only be one democrat towards the end it's so it's so pointless to speculate this early like we don't even know who the democrats are running it's pointless to it's it's pointless to think that anyone can beat trump when there's gonna be 15 fucking democrats

and most of them that's a disadvantage there were were like 17 Republicans and they won. That's like the inverse. Yeah. Last time I was like, it's gonna be Hillary because fuck you Bernie DNC says. Why is it that's why Trump won, but it won't be true that whatever battle hardened Democrat emerges. Because the situation is, you've got

Trump, who's a little far right for some, but if you look at his policies, not really all that far right if you really look at the policies okay these guys are going to go crazy left there's there's literal socialists on the ticket sanders is running again the 77 year old democratic socialist is going to run again 77 is that accurate i mean it was 70 things up it could be i don't know he's going to be pulling them far to the left. You've got literal socialists running.

And then you've got Mr. Biden, who's going to be in the middle. And he's going to be getting pulled over there to the left. They're going to make him look bad by association. I think that they're going to beat each other up so badly. Elizabeth Warren is going to run. I think they're going to hurt each other so much. And the whole time, he's just going to be over there by himself, just racking up points.

I still don't see how this isn't exactly the gauntlet that Trump ran through and became perhaps a better candidate. Yeah, it depends how they handle it. Because you had a democratic process with essentially one candidate who was allowed to do their own thing. And then on the other side... And that candidate turned out to suck. And then on the Republican side, Trump really had to earn his win by beating 16 other people. Absolutely. So now this time around, Trump will be the essentially one candidate who doesn't have to run against anybody serious. And the Democrat will be in the position of having to really earn their spot by beating yeah the incumbent definitely has an advantage not only in

like like free free travel dollars and adversarial like he's just got a big leg up but i i think that they're going to be pulling each other so far to the left it's going to turn off the people who they need to beat donald trump i think that once once again, Bernie is going to be the groundswell where the grassroots people are behind him. But the DNC already kind of showed last election that they don't care for Bernie. They don't want him. They don't like him there.

So if they subvert Bernie again and pick somebody else, that's going to be fucking bad. All the Bernie fans are gonna like they're gonna be rightfully pissed if again bernie is the most popular and they'll say like oh hillary was more popular with this that it's like i mean look at look at their rallies look bernie was turning out enormous crowds of people but he didn't get more votes he got fewer votes yeah but they do the uh don't they they do those super delegate things but he got fewer votes yeah but they do the uh don't they they do those super delegate things but he got fewer votes from humans but the super delegate thing was coming in early and skewing

the results people were like more than obama in no way i think people kyle kyle brings up a good point and i didn't want to i hate i love talking politics but i think our fans don't always want but anyway um the point kyle's making is that it it looked like Hillary was winning by a lot because she had all the superdelegates right out of the gate. And people tend to get behind the winner. It's easier to stay ahead than it is to take over. And if your chosen guy is a lost cause, you're not going to go stand in line. They fucked him out of that. He was the more popular candidate.

I think if you just had a fair election where they were like, all right right who wants to vote for this guy and who wants to vote for this gal it he'd have won but that's not the situation the thing is the russians were pimping him like he had this huge online presence and it turns out a lot of that comes from like russian propaganda the russians were pimping yeah they were they literally were this is not like a woody thing this is like no i don't think it's a woody. I don't think that Russia had an impact on Bernie not getting the nomination. No, they had an impact on making him more popular than he otherwise would have been. Oh, any of that Russian shit, I don't think they really had an impact in bolstering his popularity artificially. He's hugely popular with young people like i don't

really think that like a few facebook ads and some stuff is going to change what it was already organically right like i mean it certainly wasn't the hundreds of millions that hillary spent on facebook ads and things like that like like our tens of millions whatever like her online uh like like our tens of millions whatever like her online uh like push machine was way stronger than his like like bernie or not like he has grassroots support like he has a lot of people out there who love him like i i agree with kyle that like if they were totally fair that they would have ran him instead of her yeah and i would have had a better chance of beating trump if they ran him i think and and hey i i'm throwing my full support while i'm still allowed to vote behind mr bernie sanders because because because he might he might set me free all felons can vote aside from kyle myers

georgia because i don't care for guns oh he's... So he was like the less anti-gun time guy when he ran against Hillary. That was how he positioned himself. He says, I'm from a state where there are a lot of gun owners and I'm more pro-gun than you typically find in a Democrat. This time around,

he's not going that way. I'm a single issue voter, Woody. I don't care if he wants to abort fetuses. Legalizing marijuana is your single issue? I don't care if he wants to take... I don't care if he wants to take... Retroactive legalization is Kyle's only issue.

That would do the trick. That would do the trick for me. That's how it works. That's how it would work. That's a big part of his thing. Anyone who's been convicted should be able to apply to have their shit expunged. Single issue voter at this point. Very important to Kyleyle i don't care about any of his other policies if he wants to bankrupt the u.s economy if he wants to rename the united states to russia 2.0 the soviet union if he wants to take dead if he wants to take babies that are one year old and blow their brains out with some sort of a cattle prod gun because they're not because the mother might have some sort of a mental instability if that child were allowed to live.

Blow their fucking brains out. Do whatever you want. I don't care. Single issue voter over here. Absolutely. And I still stand by my point that if Trump were to legalize marijuana, it'd be a fucking landslide. He wouldn't even need to show up. He could just show up to

the debate and be like, I'm legalizing pot. I think you know of the rest of my policies. Good day, sir. And just walk off the stage and he'd win. Oh, that would be the best because then everybody else would have to be like, I'm legalizing pot too. Me too. Me too. And then no matter what, you'd get legal pot until they get in there

and they get taken in the back room with all the pharma execs and they get waterboarded for a bit and then they come out like we need opiates guys we need them that's you know what i was just about to say i wonder what the politics is behind non-legal pot like why are we there right i feel like like in terms of supporting pot like where you'd expect me to be mid-4040s, not a pot guy, I'm pretty pro-pot. If guys like me are like, you know what? Prosecuting pot is a lot worse for society than not prosecuting it. Who's for it? Or who's for illegalization?

I'm saying it backwards. Yeah. Right? Who's still anti-pot? And I guess that's the answer, the donators. I don't know anyone in my life like even you know the boomers i know like anyone i've ever talked politics with who's staunchly anti-weed like none my conservative ass grandparents not at all anymore like they

it's just i who is who's out there like it's got to be some lobbying behind closed doors because every person i talk to is like yeah i wouldn't do it personally, but yeah. It's law enforcement. You don't need nearly as many cops. And the prison lobby. It's prison, it's law enforcement, and it's the things that marijuana competes with. The problems that it solves that are currently being solved by more harmful, more expensive products. No doubt. Like alcohol. Well, even bigger than alcohol,

the opiate problem. Are you drinking wine? No. It looked purple. Jesus, Taylor, what's wrong with you? What kind of accusations are you throwing around? You're right, I was foolish. I only drink Tito's Vodka.

They should absolutely sponsor me. Just me, not the rest of you I'm really not pulling my weight in that sponsorship I'm the one over here putting it back God I love Tito's vodka It is some tasty fucking shit I've gotten to the point where it just tastes good I barely chase it

I just get a little sip of apple juice Isn't that bad? Isn't what bad? To enjoy the taste of alcohol. Look, look. All right. So let me just preface this before Kyle answers. I come from a non-supportive alcohol environment.

I feel like I know less and I have less experience. I'm told that when you really, when you taste something like vodka and say, ah, you know, that's a beauty. That this is what I've been thirsting for. That's a sign that you should stop drinking vodka. Am I crazy? Because I might be.

I don't really. Yeah, you absolutely are. That's silly. That's just like your opinion that women who drink beer are somehow not classy. No, no, that's my parents' opinion. My dad's opinion. Okay, okay. No, I don't drink every day.

I drink probably three days a week or something like that i always drink during the show because i think it loosens me up nice and nice and fun and uh i have probably what these what's the equivalent of like five shots at a time and then i don't drink anymore there are people who like drink and then they drink more and they drink more and they drink more like all through the night i don't do that okay i have about five shots of vodka at once that gets me to like 70 drunk and and then i'm nice and loosey-goosey and i have a have a lovely time what's damn what i got you're definitely more than 70 drunk after five shots all at once no i i've had five shots right now oh all right well touche then to me touche me yeah touche yeah okay but uh like yeah enjoying the taste of alcohol nothing wrong with that like

like i've never enjoyed the taste of vodka really it just kind of tastes like cold burning like yeah now to be fair if you enjoy like scotch like i've had scotch before and i'm not even an aficionado i don't know but i'll have like a little sip like you drink it little sips at a time and i'll have it and it's like i kind of like this like it's neat it's like a warming like feeling like i like that warmth down your chest and then you got a bunch of like interesting flavors in your mouth kitty has a bottle of uh glen fittage 12 or something like that which I think is a pretty popular scotch and We were eating some some Greek food the other day, and I was like ah I'm gonna have a little glass this glenfiddich and be like an adult over here I'm gonna I'm gonna shoot back a few of these glenfiddich is a scotch. Yeah. Yeah, it was so fucking gross

It was so fucking gross. I chased it with coca-cola cuz because that's all I had. As a true aficionado. Dude. I chased it with surprise ice cream because it was nearby. It would have been better. I would have. I'm not above that. I'm certainly not one of these people who's pinky up in the air about different kinds of alcohol or anything like that. When I say I like the taste of Tito's, i mean is like it doesn't burn and it doesn't

taste gross and it doesn't remind me of rubbing alcohol and those are all positive traits when it comes to booze if you ask me um glenfish was disgusting i didn't gag but if i'd really thought about it i'd have gagged like like you know sometimes like like maybe you're emptying like a like rotten leftovers into the garbage or like or or maybe you're scraping dog shit off your shoe and you're like, if I really focused in on what I'm doing right now and didn't just put my mind somewhere else, this would make me gag. That's what drinking Glen Fittich was like for me. And I feel like someone with a drinking problem or something like that would be like, scotch, scotch, scotch. I love scotch.

Yeah. So you just had one of those and said that's repulsive. Oh, no. I wanted to get a little buzz on before I ate my Greek food, so I muscled down three nice belts of that stuff. Is a belt a shot? I don't know what a belt is. For me, a belt is when I fill up a glass like this up to right about here.

Two fingers or something? It seems like two shots, maybe. don't i don't measure alcohol um i i just i i pour the the amount that looks right to me and i drink it you just pour it and then you count the liquid as it goes in is not measuring cool or like i i'm not looking it's cool or anything it's just yeah you just don't okay all right like sometimes if i'm making like a vodka water or something like i don't really a skinny bitch i'm not like sitting well vodka water is hydrated yeah like vodka water and so i'll put like maybe like sparkling water or something if i'm making yeah that's called a skinny bitch i just like yeah probably call this skinny bitch because i'm a i'm not skinny but i am a bitch that's what it's called like i wouldn't

like pour it into a shot glass and empty it you You just kind of eyeball it. You know when's too much. Yeah, I've grown up around people who drink not a lot, but they would have three or four beers at a time and stuff like that. So I've never thought anything of drinking alcohol as being a bad thing or anything. I had a girlfriend once who was like, I think I've got a drinking problem. I drink every night.

I don't feel like I can have fun unless I'm drinking. I drink for this. I drink for that. I drink for, you know, if I'm going to eat, I drink. If I'm going to go party, I drink. If I'm going to watch a movie, I drink. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, I guess you do drink a lot. You're drinking a lot of those fucking vodka tonics with the the lime on the side you know and is she still in your universe

no was she thinned yeah okay because that at the time probably a lot of them a lot of times people i know who drink way too much like they're converting that to body fat ah well you know like like girls have she knew she she took care of herself. She was a proper bulimic. She did yoga and she ran marathons. So, like, she was... Oh, well, shucks. She wasn't gonna... Not marathon... Half marathons. I should have 5Ks and half marathons and shit like that. And she...

And she did yoga every day. And so, she was pretty... Yeah, I'd say. Well, yeah, then. Yeah, if she was feeling like she can't have any fun without drinking, that's a pretty big red flag. So, yeah, she stopped drinking for, like, you know, six months. And then, like, after six months, she felt like she had, like, mastered her domain. And then she would have one drink or two drinks.

But, you know, she slowed down. That's good. Yeah, I think my alarm bells go off way before most people's alarm bells go off right you know i see someone i don't know drink at home with a movie and i'm like what the heck you're not with other people right and i'm not saying i'm right i'm saying my alarm bells go off way earlier than other people and it depends how you would do that too like if you're sitting there watching a movie and like you're just getting tanked like obliterated drunk then yeah that's that's probably not ideal if you're doing that all the time but all my favorite movie heroes drink a ton okay i've been re-watching the wire and i've i modeled my drinking after McNulty's, okay? You know, he goes into work, has a few drinks.

He works some more. He drinks some more. Then he gets off work, and he has, you know, 10, 20 shots, something like that. And then he goes, and he pisses out there by the train tracks, and he starts another day. I try to model my drinking after Don Draper, the alcoholic on tv that guy was suave right very suave because he has the body of someone who in real life takes care of themselves and is fit but his character is an alcohol-driven fiend and so people can look at that and be like that's what it was really like back in the day when really that guy drinking like that was a big fat fucking

bald like lump belly guy yeah smelly piece of suits are all wrinkled and shit like like he's sweaty all the time yeah his wife's already left him my reference is way too old i was gonna claim my model myself after spuds mckenzie the dog who got all the girls in the beer commercials but i'm pretty sure you guys never saw 90s beer commercials with dogs in them. I did not ever see Spuds McKenzie. Well, Spuds McKenzie was the party animal. He was a Budweiser mascot, and there were women just loving to pet him and give him attention,

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PKA. All loans are made by WebB member fdic equal housing lender oh that sounds like good stuff oh i should i should just get myself forty thousand dollars and start gambling again i was my father was gonna be for gambling you can get it to save your mexican wife from the cartel you can get it for all sorts of things check them out what would you do with 40 grand taylor i dropped 40 on black put it on black now you start caring about blacks where were you when you bought a tv damn it yeah i don't uh uh at this point i'd probably buy a car like if i just had 40 grand sitting around to to use but get yourself a nice salvaged title 2014 Mustang, and then you got a solid, what?

$34,000. Now I'm fucking making money. Now you're making money. You can't lose. I can't lose. You like to ride around in a V6-powered death wagon that's got, you know, ball tires just on the left side for some reason? That's like the way a sonny died.

Tell me that's not a symptom of Wiggs' car. Of course it's not. It's me making fun of Fatty Fatty Boobaladdy over there who got weight loss surgery months and months ago and hasn't lost a considerable amount of weight at all. He has lost a lot of weight. He has not. If you do the math, it's pathetic.

I disagree. I have no idea how much he weighs, but I saw a progress photo on his Twitter not so long ago. He looked fantastic uh yeah i don't know that was a slimming mirror did you know it so first of all it is a slimming mirror it's not him doctoring the photo but the effect is even though he wasn't attempting to

make it happen via a edit in his phone was that it slims him down. The mirror is concaved in toward his body which means you are seeing less of him than there actually is, even though he is not editing the photograph. Dude, I know what someone who weighs 330 pounds looks like. He's nowhere near that. He's 360... I would bet solid

hard money that he's right around 360 pounds, which means he's lost 50 pounds are you fucking kidding me and all of these months um i'm looking at this url i don't know what was the starting link directly nobody really fucking knows but let's just call it 425 can you guys get on the same page as me i think you need to follow that link and manually find it but you will find him in the mirror and the picture is like mostly yellow sapia for some reason.

Can you tell me when you found it? Yeah. Do you see that? Do you see the doorframe bent extremely inward toward him? I do that. I was going to point out the same thing. The mirror is straight as an arrow. Yeah.

So the issue here, I've done a lot of research into this. Look and look, I like to think that I'm the guy who will only call wings out on actual bullshit he does this is not him editing the photograph it's not it's the effect of his angle and that particular mirror because i've seen him prove that and i believe him because he proved it however wait what did he prove that then they were like hey dude look at this the mirror it's concaved in toward you and he's like i'll be right back he runs to the bathroom goes click runs right back like

a minute later and he's like look at this photograph same effect that's just how that mirror looks when you stand there that's just the effect of this particular mirror from that particular angle and i believe that however it still provides a slimming effect, even if he's not actually doctoring the photo. So if you're accusing him of doctoring the photo, you're wrong. However, if you're accusing that photo of not being an accurate representation of how he actually looks, you may be onto something. I don't know. I'll tell you this. I'll tell you this. That mirror is definitely inward, curving inward though.

I see exactly what you're talking about. It absolutely is. And that is a fact you get from that particular mirror, from that particular angle. Maybe the fucking trailer walls are warped in from like steamy baths. Who knows?

They're made out of paper. It's like the mirrors at Nordstrom or Macy's who try and make you think you look better than you do and then you get home and look in your own mirror and you're like, oh God, what a disappointment.

Yeah. You know, I'll admit when i'm wrong about something for example i i call i mentioned that is he had that airbag issue a while back well he was like actually kyle when my car was crashed it was crashed so badly that the airbags deployed so jokes on you they already replaced them with good airbags. And my thought process was like, God, that's actually worse that the airbags deployed. The crash was so bad. Like that actually sounds like a worse deal. Yeah, a real deal crash.

Yeah, it sounds like a real deal crash. But yeah, look, he tried to do a pushup the other day and he couldn't do one. Well, I mean, that's not surprising. He weighs a lot and he's not used to doing push-ups well you got to make your mind up that has he lost a lot of weight or can he or is he so heavy he

shouldn't be able to do well he was so heavy that he couldn't do a push-up but he's still heavy enough that a push-up would be hard not hard 350 pounds collapsed or something actually let me lay that on Taylor. Taylor, if I... You're strong, Taylor. And if you... 150 pounds. If I just put 150 pounds and distributed most of it on your top half and a little on your legs, could you do a push-up? Unfair comparison.

The correct comparison would be... Oh, did I just fucking freeze? For a second, you did. Oh, for a second. You're frozen again. I hope you can hear my voice the correct comparison would be taylor if woody lived on your back for the next six months at the end of that could you do a push-up and the answer is yes not only could you do a push-up you'd be a beast this is the work you know what what? I'm going to do... I believe I get a lot of workout just trying to hang on.

Just hanging on. I'm going to have as hard a job. Taylor's like, honey, honey, please. Could you get on top tonight? I can't do this. And Woody's just mushed up. Under both of them at this point. Woody, you have to move your legs exactly like mine too,

or else it's weird. We make a Taylor sandwich. We can't do doggy guys. We can't do doggy guys. It's more comfortable and I get a show. That would be a funny revamp of the FPS boot camp. It's like this time Taylor's coming. I didn't buy any equipment or change the shower.

I'm just going to strap myself to his back for 30 days. And then it's just – that's what it is. I'm still stuck on this picture and I don't have any counterpoints for Kyle. I want to say... I'm here to defend Wings on this point. I wish my camera would stop being a fucking bitch.

I'm here to defend him on this point. I don't think that he is doing any tomfoolery with his in-camera, in-phone app or anything like that. i don't think he's i i don't even think he's adding like a beautification filter necessarily or anything like that i think he's lost more than 50 pounds i think i i don't know like there's gotta be like a big around the middle it's hard to look at this picture and say he's not big around the middle

board it just seems like he's lost a lot of mass. And I know this picture is flattering because of the thing it's doing. But, dude, like, one, I don't think he could have fit in a Mustang very well beforehand. And now he owns one. He fit in my Camaro when he was 4'25". Very well? I wasn't there to see it. And if I had been there to see it, I wouldn't have allowed it. He looks like a person I might see every to see it. I wouldn't have allowed it.

He looks like a person I might see every day. Yeah. Look, I'll give you that. However, you see 350-pound people every day. I think he's about 350, 360. What's the claim? What do you mean? So you're saying he weighs 350.

What does he say he weighs? Does he give weighs does he give oh he will not give numbers he he and and that's another reason why i think he's lost very little weight i think he's losing like i'm sorry but i don't remember how many months it's been but i think he's losing i think in the first months he lost maybe 10 pounds a month and now he's slowed down to like six pounds a month or five pounds a month that he's losing. And frankly, that's absurd. That's absurd. He should do shit on his Twitch where he's like, all right, every time I hit like the new thousand dollar mark or whatever, I do another weight loss pick and update. Yeah, he should get more donations and it'll force him to stay on the ball so that he'll like, because you don't want to have to take pictures and show you're stagnating.

Let me pitch the other side of that. If he had been open and honest about his numbers, isn't it possible or even probable that nothing would be good enough? He would have to be in the top one or at least 5% of success stories with this thing or fans to be not on his case. If he's not, as long his case. If he's not, as long as like, if he's not,

in my opinion, if he's not losing 12 pounds a month, he's a failure. Like with the capital F like, like, like if, if I were, if I were his like personal trainer or his like life coach,

or if it were me in his shoes and I weren't losing 12 pounds a month, at least every month, uh, I would consider myself a complete and utter failure in that regard i don't get it because like that's what i lose you know the name of his surgery the gastric bypass sleeve something else it's the gastric uh sleeve right no it's not the sleeve i don't like getting it wrong because he makes it makes us seem like we're ignorant and is it the lap band it's not the lap band they cut out part of his stomach and now he has a tiny

stomach um i i think um but but i could be wrong about that it's been so long since i read the documents and everything and i don't like being wrong about it because he makes a big deal out of it whenever we say something that's wrong like like we're like providing misinformation intentionally or something but but like i've looked at the the stats he should be losing huge amounts of weight like like he should only be he should only be able to consume like so he's supposed to be eating 600 calories a day tops okay and we all know that like a pound is like 3500 calories or something like that And then you can calculate his base metabolic rate. And the numbers just don't add up. Like he's eating a lot of when he's chilly, I guess.

And that's not ideal, I don't think. I think he's losing a lot of muscle, but he's not losing a lot of fat, it seems. It seems like he's being really inactive. I don't know. Look, I'm not his fucking life coach. I wouldn't want that fucking job. That's a it's a suicide you had it for a month yeah it was it was one of the worst months of my life and i've had some rough ones yeah oh speaking of uh speaking of

rough moments and stuff uh my girlfriend listens to the show and gets a kick out of it and thinks it's funny. She was like, oh, I was listening to last week's episode and the Kyle's jail stories at the end. I was just dying laughing about how much she was talking about boiled eggs and how integral

a currency that is. I bet a ton of people loved the jail. And so, yeah. I bet a ton of people loved the jail stories. Those were so funny. I hope so. I'm so sad that I wasn't there for them. I'm sure I think about jail second most on this show. I think I'm there.

I think you have some inflated idea of what it is. You think of jail as maximum security, hard-ass like big state scary prison when there's like 32 flavors of jail yeah like like if true if i end up having to go to a jail i've been told what facility it would be and just and it's been described to me and it's a real breeze can you can you would you improve your tennis game at such a facility? Not my tennis game, but there'd be a lot of library time. There'd be a lot of reading and a lot of chilling and a lot of tax cheats in there with me and that sort of thing.

And any sentence apparently that I may get, you can just cut six months off of it because that's the way federal sentencing works. If you were to be sentenced to six months that then you don't go to jail if they sentence you to six months of federal prison you don't go to prison you go to a like a halfway house where you basically sleep at night and then your days are yours uh and so so like that's not bad as far as you know incarceration is concerned yeah halfway house yeah absolutely yeah the um you can probably post mates food to a white-collar prison right no you wouldn't allow that that would be cool though you're throwing a fit in prison we've got a riot on c block mr myers didn't get his big mac sauce order right again. Throwing a fucking tantrum.

I get what you're saying. When you talk about those scary prisons like Oz or something like yeah, that doesn't sound like any fun. There's a couple of YouTubers who came from probably what you'd call scary prisons and they made it seem like you can go through prison and not get into trouble if you can maintain a certain social discipline for, I'll just make up a number, for five years or something.

And I think, man, like five years without not, you know, busting a joke with the wrong guy. I've never maintained any sort of social discipline ever. I've never maintained any sort of social discipline ever. Like, there's, um, they were telling yo mama jokes, right? Going back and forth, back and forth. No, don't do that! You're going to talk about a con's mama? That's all he's got. That's right, that's right.

So, con one busts on con two's mama. Con two busts on con one. This goes back and forth. By, like, the fifth fifth joke con 1 is like you went too far now i'm gonna beat you now you're gonna pay for that one and uh the guy telling the story was like i find that wrong you know they were going like back and forth but he knew so he he wore his shoes to sleep the next day apparently that's important in pre-fight preparation, but it wasn't enough. They dragged him out of bed and the slam of getting drug dragged out of bed was the finishing move.

And I'm like, fuck, that sounds awful. It's like that scene in the Sopranos where like the gangsters are on those union jobs where they just sit around outside and they don't actually work. They're just collecting like benefits and money and they're sort of ripping on each other. And the one guy's like,

yeah, I saw Mikey's girlfriend. Should have seen the mustache on her like a firefighter. And everybody goes, ha ha ha ha ha. And he goes, well, you'd know best about that, wouldn't you sugar? And he goes, what the fuck did you say? Cause he just called him gay. What the fuck did you say?

Well, you'd know about those mustaches and everybody like yeah yeah you got you turned it around and got him good the guy gets up and he's like i'm gonna go take a piss and then he smashes the guy who talks in the eye with a glass bottle and the guy's just like my eye my eye and there's just blood pouring everywhere and some in some like actual working joe who's actually working there goes this bullshit i'm calling the cops and like what did you say he fucking lead pipes that guy in the head sounds like an entertaining the um you're funny is it casino the movie like oh funny funny you

like i'm a clown am i funny to you like i'm a clown oh they only just just said the wrong thing and i just it's a little do you hear a little girl in this bar i there's a tough guy in here and i said you hear anything sound like it sounds like someone i love that scene that's where he stabs the guy like with a pen and he's crying now i could as well there's a big tough guy in here did you know where did he go where'd he go now there's this little girl there's a little girl crying on the floor on your bick marks in her back the question is and i'll present this to the listener can you maintain that social discipline for five years i think kyle's better at averaging this i think kyle could taylor thinks he couldn't i think i couldn't there's people on both sides of this but it's like dude i, I just don't know.

In the story he tells, it's very important when you walk by all these cells to look straight ahead. And this guy got a stern talking to warning. Yeah. But he was walking by. I would never look into a cell. You don't know what might be going on in there. Maybe you see something you shouldn't see. Yeah. You would never look into a cell.

You could see something you don't even want to see. Right? Like now you're burdened with a secret. You know? There are questions I don't ask people just because I don't want to be in on that secret. Like, I don't want to have to filter and think and whatever. And I just, yeah, you know what? I don't even know.

You don't want to, like, spend too much time next to one cell either, as you learn in Silence of the Lambs when Clarice is leaving. I can smell your God! And as she's leaving, that guy throws a big wad of cum. It's right smack in the face. He must have been practicing. That guy should go to the Olympics for the cum throw because he must have been practicing that his entire stay in that facility because he flicks that cum.

First of all, he's able to get himself off in the time between she walking by his cell and her having that conversation with hannibal lecter but he's he's coming to climax just as she passes back by and he flicks it right into her hair face area she's just like some people have a gift did to him though no hannibal whispered to him all night and the next day they found him he swallowed his tongue his own tongue and i had forgotten about that's quite the superpower hannibal said something so horrific to this guy and got inside the guy's head that the guy the guy swallowed his own tongue killed himself yeah that's what he gets for being a cum whipper all the prison stories i see make it seem like if you tailor yourself socially just right you're okay

you should have your cum and your outstretched hand like it's sand you we just blow it onto them that's the move how would you throw your cum you'd have to it'd have to be a quick whip i think it's a whip it's on your palm with a little bit of stick to it and you that would be yeah that, and there's something about Mary when I saw it the first time, was like the pinnacle of funny in my life up until that point. I laughed harder at that

than I had ever laughed at anything ever. When he jerks off and he's like, fuck, where'd it go? Fuck, where did it go? And then he answers the door and she's like hey how's it going what what's that is that is that hair gel he's got fucking cum dripping off his ear and he goes yeah yeah it's hair gel and she just grabs the cum off of his ear and goes oh great i forgot and she fucking styles her hair with it.

And then the scene when they go out to dinner later, he's sitting there looking, and she's just got the Ricky Martin held up with cum just right on top of her head. Dude, I love that. So the movie is something about Mary, and it's the cover. Like, if you buy the DVD,

there is Mary on the cover with cum in her hair, holding her hair up. And I just feel like that wouldn't happen today in the Me Too era. It's fucking great. That's one of my favorite movies. That's a really funny one. Lord of the Rings is... No, it's not. Game of Thrones. Game of Thrones is

coming back. And I probably think about it once a day. My YouTube feed is filled with Game of Thrones theories now. So I am pretty up to date on a lot of things that probably aren't true you know i mean i'm looking forward to it uh i i avoid absolutely every single bit of content of it that's how i like to do everything all movies anything like that like i'm aware that there's a john wick three coming out i don't want to know what country he's in if I see a picture I'll be able to piece things together like if I see a picture and I see like the actress that he's with or if I see the background I'll be

like I think that's Athens Greece or that looks like an Asian setting like he's in Thailand or something or like or Burma or some shit like I don't want any content whatsoever because I will piece the pieces together you know thinking about it and I'll figure something out it'll be so it'll somehow be a spoiler to me because I think about their shows a lot so I don't know anything about the next season other than how long the episodes are I'm halfway there with you I I don't like actual spoilers like if they were to leak a show out of order or sometimes a script or partial script leaks. And those things being accurate, I hate that. However, theories, I like.

I don't know if I would have put together, what was it, R plus L equals J? Look at Rihanna and Rhaegar. You're familiar with this, right? I'm riding like a diamond. And, yes, it's probably not Rihanna. What the hell's her name? Rhaegar and Liana? I don't know.

Liana. Yeah. So R plus L equals J, the fan theory. I don't know that I would have got that if I hadn't gone to the Alt Shift X and people like that. I got it from the book. So I picked that up from the book. I don't know. There's a lot of theories on the Faceless man. The fact that he could be the dancing master

or that he could be somewhere else and popped around. Nah, they really want to make it seem like Sirio Dante is coming back in some form or fashion. Look, the pedophile guard whose name is escaping right now wouldn't have survived that day if he hadn't killed that motherfucker. Oh, Sir Maron? No, Sirio dante the

dancing master with the no the pedophile guard sir maron sir maron sirio pharrell i think okay yeah i i i'm so far removed from like the series and like like watching the show and reading the books that like i'm definitely gonna get some shit wrong but like the dancing master who trained aria in her first bit of combat training he He's dead as a doornail. He's done for. He's not coming back in any shape, form or fashion. He's like,

I would love it if he did. You know, I feel like he was a character who was like pumped up. I am the first sword of Braavos. I am this and that. Then I killed many men. And it's like, really?

Cause all I've ever seen you do is like beat a little girl with a wooden sword and get your ass beat by Sir Merrin the pedo. But he had full armor and a real sword and Pharrell was there water dancing with a broken wooden sword. And he beat four guys or something with the broken sword. In the book, he sounded much more hardcore because he was stabbing

them in the eye and he was finding weaknesses in the armor. But then they make a point of when he sees Ser Meryn in full plate armor with a visor. They name each piece of armor that would prevent any weakness. Like she knew. Let me make this counterpoint. We've all watched all the Game of Thrones episodes.

Are they shy about showing the deaths? Like when the mountain beat the viper? Oberyn. We saw his death pretty clearly. When the dancing master died, that happened off screen. Much like when the hound died. That happened off screen.

And then it turns out the hound didn't die. I mean, Stannis died off screen, but everybody kind of accepts that he's dead. Yeah, he's dead. Because Brienne would lie. That's my way of knowing 100% that he's dead. Because Brienne wouldn't lie. She doesn't lie.

She's not going to be like, yeah, I killed him myself. I did this and that. I served justice upon him. She wouldn't say that unless she had actually done that shit. So he's dead. Sometimes they kill people offscreen, and I just think that's one of them. I think he's a minor character in the book minor character in the show and he and he's just written off as from henceforth yeah i wish i could recall all the details that made it

that he's actually jack and jack on hagar i'm getting his name wrong um yeah so yeah i don't know i'm just trying to keep my expectations low minor sky high sky high i am bound to be disappointed because I am looking forward to this a good two months in advance. You know what I'm actually looking forward to is Amazon's Lord of the Rings series. I purposely haven't looked into anything they're doing. I'm just going to see it as bonus Lord of the Rings content. If I don't like it, I didn't have it before. In seconds before Kyle goes, I'm like, well, everything else Amazon does suck, so probably. No.

No, it doesn't. I'd love to be wrong. Well, they spent a quarter of a billion dollars, so I think they're going to make sure they do a good job here. A lot of it was on the rights, though. Yeah. So they're going to make sure they do

a good job on it. Oftentimes people equate price to production value and when so much of that is on the licensing it doesn't mean production I think we did the math it's still like 10 million an episode or something crazy like that like it's Game of Thrones level production like I think that's about what Game of Thrones is like 8 million to 12 million dollars an episode uh apparently the writers are under literally writing in a locked room with like thumbprint scanners and guards outside that's awesome yeah because they're trying to keep the the plot of the of the of the news story like

it's a prequel right uh I don't know I think it is a prequel it would make absolute sense for it to be a prequel there's a a massive, massive amount of content there. If you've read The Cimmerillion or you've just watched some of the expert YouTubers who are really big into that stuff, who do the full, long-tale stories of the various gods, there's a lot going on there. A lot of cool stories that can be told. I really hope they pick up Ian McKellen for the series. If they pick up Ian McKellen, I'm sold 100%, and i'll buy whatever i need to buy to watch that shit yeah i don't want to see another gandalf he is gandalf to me he's gandalf to me and to me he

should be old as fuck like he should be timeless almost like he's always confirmed to be in it or could it be more prequel than that if gand well gandalf has been there since the beginning of time essentially so like you can't it's real hard to go back so far that gandalf isn't there so gandalf is just there because he's like over 2 000 years old or something um he's kind of still being it yeah is that true taylor can you back that is he like 2 000 years old i don't know exactly how old he is but he's yeah he's insanely old like he's been around yeah it's over a long long time all the wizards have been there for there were like some blue wizards radagast the brown there was saruman the white gandalf the gray then gandalf the white then a couple other ones

but 2019 years good lord okay so um and then of course his physical body is is absolutely no representation of his physical prowess or magical abilities. It'd be kind of cool if they called him at a spry of 1,000 years old and he was played by like, I don't know, Robert Downey Jr. I would not. If I were a wizard and I had that kind of power, there's no way that I would let myself get to 75 and then use magic to stop aging. I'd like to stop at like 32 and be like this is what i'm gonna be forever now you get super jacked and you use your magic to keep you that way even though you can eat and drink all you want so yeah so so i'm more pumped for that than i am for the finale of game of thrones um i want to see it. I'm very excited for it, I'll admit. But there's eight episodes left.

There's about 10 or 11 hours total of that left ever. However, there's an unknown quantity of Lord of the Rings. And frankly, I like that universe better. Same. I like that universe better with the multiple races and the magic and the whole group of gods that they have going on I like it, I would like to see some stuff with Morgoth

and some of the older gods and like the they'd have to go way back well he's still in existence, he's just not a player in the stories that we've seen like Sauron everybody thinks, like the casual fans think sauron is the big bad of the lord of the rings universe but he's like he's like a lieutenant of morgoth like to compare it to like um christianity

like sauron is like a demon that works for the devil we didn't even get to see the fucking devil i have some questions because i'm bad with names sauron he's the one that i think is the big bad who's the wizard that sounds like saruman all right tolkien was a bit of a dick with that he was a bit of a dick with that he like spent a while like what am i gonna call the bad guy sauron that's cool that's badass how about this the bad guy? Sauron, that's cool. That's badass. How about this other bad guy? I've spent way too much time on this. Saruman?

All right, we'll go for it. My family's knocking on the door because they're worried I've gone insane because I spent the last six months locked in here writing Elvish. I know at least 15% of our fans are like, thanks, Woody. I had that same issue. Oh, it's your son, too. Yeah. I used to have that, and then I was like, well, of our fans are like thanks woody i had that same issue yeah yeah the the one yeah you know i used to have that and then i just i was like well the mon is a man or a wizard man and and so sauron is

clearly like some sort of a demonic and sauron it turns out morgoth is the big guy morgoth is the devil in this scenario like if you're comparing to to Christianity, Morgoth is Satan himself. And Sauron, the guy that we saw with the one ring who, who everybody's afraid of. He's the, he's that lidless eye. He's like,

uh, Mzuzu or whatever. Like, like he's a demon. And I'm a little frustrated that there's a Morgoth and a Mordor. I, I, they need to make these names.

Woody friendly. I would really appreciate that. Ah, Pete, the dreaded. Yeah. Oh, oh yeah.

My, my recall with made up names is one third. What it is with names of people I've been knowing my whole life. Be wary. You must be wary of bad Adam. That would be so good. Or for game of Thrones, if they just said,

you know what? Let's do a character without a beard. You know? That would help. That would help. What is like, could you just name everyone John

that way I'm always right? No, no. That wouldn't help. That would be the opposite of useful. But if everyone had American names and they looked different, you know? They'd swap up the looks

a little bit. Some old guys, some young guys, some bearded guys, some clean-shaven guys, some mustachioed men. Kind of like with mustaches. Yeah. I like distinct...

I'll admit that I think a good storytelling feature is if, especially if it's television or movie, especially with television, I should say, because it goes on and on and on and you gain so many characters. And this applies to Game of Thrones to some extent. I'm pretty good at remembering the names when I'm like steeped in the show

and I'm absorbed in it. I've got 90% of the names, 95 maybe. And that's fucking saying something, I think, but I think giving them distinctive features, like, you know,

the guy who plays, uh, Omar in the wire, the black guy, the scar boom, you're never forgetting that that's omar right at no point like you might forget who weebay is and who bird is you know you might get weebay and bird confused bird needs to have a little bird tattoo under his earlobe

bird every time bird needs to come comes into the scene he just needs to go he should have a funny walk that involves this. What's up, y'all? Baltimore, motherfucker. Like, he should come in flapping his wings or something. He should have a bird on his shoulder. Like, I... No, yeah.

If they had a distinctive little facial thing, that would be super helpful. You know who does, and I don't even know his name, but Euron Greyjoy, maybe? No. Urine. It's urine. helpful um you know who does and i don't even know his name but you're on gray joy maybe no it's urine i'm looking for the badass boat captain not the um not the kid who lost his oh fuck the the uncle yes yeah fuck i don't he has a distinctive look about him he might

have a scar over his eye oh he, he's Victarion Greyjoy. He's only in the books, right? No, no, no. They renamed him, I think. No, they renamed the woman. I forget. There's some renaming involved in this family. Euron.

You're right. It was Euron. It was Euron. I'm sorry, it's not. It might be, though. King Euron Greyjoy is the brother of Balon Greyjoy, the Lord Reaper of Pyke, and later King of the Iron Islands, Aeron Greyjoy, a drowned man. He is also the uncle to Balon's children, Roderick, Mehron, Yaron.

Look. So the guy's name is Euron, and it's spelled u-e-r-o-n that i'm referring to and uh and he has a distinctive look about him i'm seeing him the the viewers are seeing him on the screen too i don't know if it's the scar under his eye or maybe it's just his facial hair is different but um you're on gray joy the nanosecond i see him he's not confused with all the other bearded guys sure yeah i just just like if you're going to have that. They've got a huge cast. I don't know how many characters there are.

30 main characters. Yeah. That's not an exaggeration. Yeah, it's a lot. Especially if you're going across all seven seasons. Remember Roderick? Do you even remember Roderick? He was a main character for the first two or three seasons.

Yeah, Sir Roderick. Until Theon killed him. Is he the guy? He's a main character for the first two or three seasons. Yeah, Sir Roderick. Until Theon killed him. Is he the guy? He's the guy that Theon hacked his head off poorly. He was the swordsman instructor at Winterfell, right? He was like the sword master of Winterfell, like the trainer.

He was the captain of the guard. He's the one who looked up when he was about to get killed and he's like, now you are truly lost, Theon Greyjoy. And then gets his head hacked. Send me to see your father so that I can tell him how disappointed I am. And then he hacked him with all the competence

of me and Henrietta. God damn. I have a picture on my phone and it's you holding that chicken Chiz in the background kind of looking sad but they've changed the chicken's head to Wing's face

when he's straining to do that workout and he's making that face and it never fails to get a laugh I send it to people every three months I send it to various people who all know the show and wings and stuff.

Never fails. They never go, Oh, you already sent me that. They go, ha, ha, ha,

ha, ha, ha. Every time it never fails to get a laugh. It's brilliant. To defend myself for just a moment. Kyle wisely held a stick next to it. He held the bird down and he put a stick next to his hand so that I wouldn't

chop his hand. No knack against that. But it made the sweet spot I had to hit like half an inch almost. And I didn't hit it every time. It was a tough shot. You can cut a chicken's head off the way you cut fudge. Just put it there and... Yeah, I think you'd never cut a

chicken's head off. That was the thing that I underestimated. It's a talent that I have because I've cut thousands and thousands of chicken's heads off literally not not an exaggeration at all and i know exactly what it takes to take a chicken's head off and for some reason i thought that you had that skill or that knowledge and you just be like pop because that's all it would have taken but instead it was it was a little gruesome i hit it on the shoulder a little bit and and because i hit it on the shoulder where it was stronger. It's so funny.

You guys made it your pet for a few days, and you gave it the most horrifying checkout possible. All right, we're just going to drown it alive. Imagine yourself with a machete in the hand, aiming at a dot on it like a fallen tree. You could miss it by half an inch. And that's literally what I missed it by. And by the way, if I miss half an inch to the right, then Kyle's in danger.

If I miss half an inch to the left, I'm sort of on the shoulder. And that was where I wanted my error. We'd be having a, to defend Woody here, if he'd cut one of my fingers off, we'd be having an entirely different discussion these days. We'd be like, yeah. And then he just, Woody's like, well, I want it to be a clean kill. Well, it was. It was, wasn't it? Motherfucker!

You know how bad I am at PC gaming now? I cannot use the control button. I can't run! I can't even control. It'd be funny if you took an even more gruesome thing where it's like, all right, we're going to put Henrietta down. You get a little washcloth and lay it over her face and then just a jug of water.

Just another 15, 20 minutes, Henrietta, your little washcloth and lay it over her face and then just a jug of water as... Just another 15-20 minutes, Henrietta, and this will all be over. We waterpoured the chicken to death. Yeah, but my inaccuracy was partly related to the risk is either it takes a couple

swats or Kyle loses a finger and I erred towards the other end. That was the correct error. I suppose so. I should have just killed the chicken um yeah in hindsight we should have changed jobs i should have held the bird and you should have chopped its neck i could have done both the jobs i should have just done it i i like you had that thing where you were like ah i've only ever killed a squirrel and that was right you were like that was a pity kill i want to kill a thing and and you know i've killed all kinds of things.

I hunted my entire childhood. I've killed thousands and thousands of small animals. Not to sound like a complete monster or anything, but I have. And not all of them were just for fun. No, not all of them were just for fun. If we had a cow that was lame and needed a mercy killing, that's my job. You know, if, if like, uh, I was an incredible bird hunter, like, like when we would go dove hunting, there would be complaints.

Maybe that you would hear the other hunters yell, Hey, let some through. Cause I would literally, cause you know know i was practicing every day all day thousands of shots a day and i was so good that i wouldn't miss a bird and so i've killed hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of birds and then how did you put down the cows did you have one of those like no country for old man i guess on sugar shotgun and slug uh it was different things every time uh before i made videos we didn't keep a lot of ammunition on hand. Like hunting season, we'd go buy a few boxes of ammo. And my dad and I are both excellent shots. So two boxes of ammo gets you through a whole hunting season.

You don't practice at all. Can I put that chicken head in your pocket? Or can I put just another chicken head? Okay, Anton. So, like, oftentimes a cow would come up lame and it would be like this cow is not getting better the vet came it gave it medicines it's still lame it's it's it's gonna die a painful death coyotes will come sometimes and they'll like pull a cow's asshole out when it's alive and essentially disembowel it if it can't get up and defend itself it's a horrible thing

so you you gotta mercy kill these animals when they get down in their lane or they're just dying a painful death. So it was different things. It depended on what I had. One time, stuck a.22 pistol in its ear and emptied it. Emptied it, so it took a... I didn't want to know if one was

enough. I didn't want to apply one bullet and be like, did that do it? How are you feeling now? I don't know if I want to spend 16 cents on your mercy. I want to be merciful, but let's not be silly. Just pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop.

In its ear. That's a super quick death. Another time, I had an old British 303 World War II rifle. That's all I could find bullets for. What was it called?

An Enfield, I want to say. I think it's an Enfield Bush rifle. It's the short barrel. I've heard of it. I don't know it. It's a big, fat.30 caliber bullet. Nice and slow, but it would just cream a human being if you hit them with it. That's what it was made for. and i had like two bullets for the thing and the cow could still walk but

but it was just fucked it wasn't gonna it was gonna die a real slow painful death over the next two weeks or something like that i thought you meant after you shot it well i used two bullets you could still walk but i'm sure it eventually died no i always did an excellent job because i don't want anything to suffer but but like i was trying to get her to stop and like, like, come on girl, just sit still so I can shoot you like, you know,

here between the eyes. And she's just moving around and actually running from me. And finally I just like shoulder the gun and like just use a little bit of instinct and just went bam and made a perfect shot and like basically blew the top of its head off. And it just instantly dies. Another time my dad was like, Kyle,

I got a cow out there that's down and she can't get up. I was like, oh man, which one? He's like, oh, it's that red one with the, with the crooked horn. She's, she's down. Oh, that sucks. And I need to go put her down. He's like, yeah, if you would, I, I, I hate to do it. And I was like, all right, I'll do it. And I was like, what gun should I use? He's like, take my, take my two 70 hunting rifle, take that. And I was like, all right. All right. So I go out in the field and I find her and there she is. And she's standing over there and kind of looking at me and she's not really moving. And I kind of pull the truck sideways and I prop up very carefully aiming out the driver's side window

and turn the truck off. So there's no vibration. And I put it right kind of here, side of her head and just squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, and hit her right in the head from about a hundred yards. And she just dropped. She's instantaneously dead. She didn't feel a thing. And I felt good about that. You know, again, I hate seeing animals suffer. I get back home. He's like, dude, I heard you shoot. I'm like, yeah. She's back there in the back pasture.

She was just standing there. He's like, wait, standing? She was standing up? Well, yeah, she was standing there and I shot her. That was the whole reason I wanted you to kill her. She couldn't get up. She couldn't get up. She couldn't get up. You're telling me she got up, and then you killed her?

And I'm like, you told me to kill her. You sent me on a search and destroy. You didn't say, if she was like this, do that. If she was like this, do this. You said, go kill, so I killed. He's like a contract killer for the mob. Like, you know, oh, we're going to call for the mob like you know oh we're gonna call off the hit sorry we don't do call-offs why yeah it's essential to this movie's plot yeah

this movie would be a quick uh if we just wired you back the money for full refund if we had a 30-day return policy this would be a shit movie so you were just like blackwater out there just a contracted killer. You don't care their feelings or anything. As soon as they stand up, she's like, now I'm gonna survive! Where are my kids? And then just, boom!

I think those are the three instances total that I had done that. I think I've only shot three cows and killed them anyway, on purpose. You've accidentally shot a couple cows? No, i've shot them on purpose to wound them before what on what for uh if they if they get out of the fencing and they go off and like go on someone else's property and trespass you can hurry them along with a bit of bird shot in the ass from like 60 70 yards and their skin is leather so it's like getting slapped in the ass real hard for them they're fine you're ruining the leather

though yeah i don't give a fuck i'm not i'm not i'm not a yeah it's all fun and games until the change falls out of my wallet yeah but but there's a bb in my wall so yeah i've killed a lot of fucking animals so like i remember that was part also i think i was more motivated to kill than anyone else everyone else had made friends with henrietta whereas i was just hungry yeah i remember like i didn't want to kill it like i never shot cows or anything on my my grandparents farm but i remember we were out at one of their ponds on their property and we were fishing and these turtles were an enormous nuisance. They were eating all the food that my grandpa was trying to get the fish big on and stuff. And I remember

him being like, Tyler, you've seen one of those. You let me know. We're going to kill it. And I was like, maybe seven or something. I'm like, oh, cool. We're going to kill this nuisance turtle. And I had this little pocket knife and one of them you know we caught one and he was like you want to kill it tyler and i was like yeah i didn't know and so like like thinking that turtles have like an infinitely protective shell i was like i wonder how power how much my knife will just glance off the side of this armor and i just went like and i could write down in the middle of its back straight through like it was butter and it just made like a noise and i was so scared that it didn't die right away it died very like almost like two seconds

afterward but that that scared me as a kid. I think my grandpa was getting a kick out of watching me get freaked out by it because he's really good at making stuff with clay and like Play-Doh. And when I was like four, my grandpa's a big guy, big farmer, tough guy kind of kind of dude. And he like made this little little duck out of yellow Play-Doh. And he's really, really nice. He worked on it for a while, and I was over there looking, and I'd go back and play with Lincoln Logs or whatever the fuck, and he was like, Tyler, get over here!

And I was like, look at this! I sat up there at the table, and it was this little yellow duck made out of Play-Doh. A lot of detail. And he's like, look at that! Look at how detailed that duck is! It looks like a real thing, doesn't it? And I was like, yeah, it looks like the real thing! And I got close looking at it. He's out look at that look at look at how detailed that duck is look it looks like a real thing doesn't it? I was like yeah, it looks like the real thing and I like got close looking at it

You know he's out of frame now, and I just remember this massive farmer hand coming down and him going quack As he smashed it into the table, and it scared me so much I cried because he smashed it so loudly in front of me Have you ever done something like that in front of a kid? Just a violent, angry thing? No, that you don't think is violent. If you accidentally drop a ladder or tip something over, and just the amount of noise can stress a kid out. I was distraught.

I still remember that. I remember being upset for a while that he crushed that bird. Anyway, that's not funny. I'm just wasting time. That's not crazy. On just wasting time i have a crazy on a different topic i haven't played apex legends yet how do i the name right okay yeah but i've watched a lot of it like probably more than you're guessing 12 hours 15 hours or something like that for whatever reason i've become a twitch fan i mostly um sandy ravage plays it and x cal play

and i watch i don't know why they're not more popular. You know, they have hundreds of people watching. They're not popular. But I'm like, I think Sandy's as entertaining as Shroud. You know, and he's really good. If Sandy walks into a 1v4, I like his odds. You know, he's very good. But anyway, I have a problem with this game. Like, we used to say this back when i played a game i

won't even mention that it's not early bird gets the worm it's second mouse gets the cheese right that's the expression that makes sense in these games if you see two teams fighting and you walk in third you win every time if you're aggressive almost every time your odds are much improved if you if you're sitting there battling another team and you win but you've got one guy you have to pick up and your shields are halfway down and then a fresh team comes in you have a hard you're in a tough spot you know and you're already outnumbered three to two and the two that are up are in a rough shape and i wish there was a mechanic they could use to not punish aggressive play i like it a lot um i think shroud is of course absolutely incredible at it yeah um you know one of the best consistently getting 15 to

20 kills a game um sometimes getting 20 but his team are personally him okay that's a lot that's a lot that's a if a team gets more than 20 kills they're doing pretty his teams get 35 or so yeah well yeah yeah they they wipe half the squad sometimes half the entire server um uh and and if he's playing with like dizzy i think is another streamer who's excellent at it, it'll be even more ridiculous. But if he's playing with Skadoodle and Chad or one of those guys, they still just stomp the shit out of people. Losses are very rare.

And by losses, I mean anything other than a win. And it doesn't matter if you're third partying that team because he'll just snap on you and he'll he'll melt you real quick with uh with a wingman or something like that just headshot headshot headshot you're dead uh he's just incredible it's it's real fun to watch play it's fun i i thought anthem some too i don't know if you're familiar with it. It's a looter shooter. What's that mean? Essentially, you're doing raids where mission after mission becomes... I don't think it's a good game, personally. I'll say that right away.

But four of us go in on these little short missions, and we're fighting AI to beat a level, and then we just get a ton of loot. Sounds like Destiny. Boost our... Destiny. I don't know anything about Destiny. I don't know anything about Destiny so I couldn't say. But Anthem I played for like two days

and it's already fucking old and fucking dry. It's not a good game. It's pretty lame. Vermintide did that to me. Vermintide, I wanted to be Left 4 Dead, where you walk in, you do missions. It's real co-op.

So I like to be the hero in games a lot. So it's PvE, but I'm helping all the guys around me succeed. I enjoy that in gaming. And the skill ceiling's really high, which is kind of cool. But man, I don't know. Something about just rat smashing with a sword. It got old quick. I haven't played in a while.

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In other words, they're dying because this is incredibly unhealthy. But they're also really wanting to be fat. Like, oh, I'm dying to go to Disneyland. Dying to be fat. Look at this image. This is my favorite one. This is safe for work. Be careful showing these, Woody, because some of these body parts

could be construed as tits. Yeah. It's my chin! Is that a nipple? No, it's a boil! It's a step above super... a super-sized big big beautiful women that's the the description a step above super sized big beautiful women okay yeah the fetish seems to be both the women doing

this and the men into it like the fact that they are dying from being so fat because like their all-time top post is a picture of this fucking monster with it says only 20 years old already have high cholesterol fatty liver disease and diabetes and then a couple of coy emojis as she sits there with her fuck ew ew what you're wearing that spiked wristlet like that's gonna distract people and make you think they're you're dark you're gonna pop yourself oh you wear that anymore this is and then what other ones do we got like some of these women are so big 18 304 pounds with a goal of dying of a heart attack while having sex figured my friend belongs here look at

the image that I dropped in here in the chat this is a giant beast of a woman and a little pixie of a woman next to each other the little pixie girl is quite attractive if you ask me i like that look with the short hair and uh i don't i think she's pretty she's she's very yes i can she doesn't even look like a teeny tiny person like she looks like a normal woman and she's a fit the one next yeah she's definitely fit. But she's not like, if you saw her in public, you wouldn't be like, oh my god, she needs to eat something. She looks unhealthy.

She's like a normal weight, I would assume. That woman behind her is probably, like, she's like a foot and a half taller laying on her side because of the fat that she's got enveloping her. Their heads are about the same size. Yeah. Yeah, but the fat that she's got enveloping her their heads are about the same size yeah uh yeah the fat girl's farther away so with the perspective according to my calculations that head weighs 38 pounds that that is a fat nasty whore right there i i look yeah look at look at go down to number four all time on the dying to be fat i need to do this carefully oh no you don't do that what do you don't go to number four roger that okay you go to number four one two three four okay why are her titties so small that's what i was gonna ask oh yeah

700 pounds i would and she's got a titty the size of like half a cantaloupe. I've known plenty of ladies who are normal size with bigger titties than this 700 pound woman. That's disgusting. I would kill myself. I would absolutely kill myself. She is. That's what they're doing here. They're dying to be fat.

They're killing themselves. I do it today. Yeah, I want to see what some of the comments are. I've only looked at these grotesque images of monsters that, you know, if I were king, we would drop these kinds of people from the highest of my castle peaks to see how much they would bounce, and then they'd be fed to the hunger.

It seems like a good use of them would be to wait for enemy on attackers and drop them down. We should be loading them into c-130 cargo planes and flying them over our enemies and dropping these instead of smart bombs if we drop them in like namibia in africa they'll be like if this is what food does to you i will stay without just in case let's see if there is gold in her brain. I wonder... I wonder how many... This one's, again, just a mush. Are these all self-posted or

some of them, like... No, no, no. These are self-posts for the most part. I just feel like people might be posting nasty pictures they find. Check out this woman. I think this is... I can't tell what she's wearing on the bottom because it could be hidden in her fat folds. Oh, my God. I don't think that's real. I can't tell what she's wearing on the bottom because it could be hidden in her fat folds. Oh my God.

I don't think that's real. I don't think that's real. It caught my attention. No, it is. It is real. The tube under her nose... I'll just share it. The tube under her nose is what caught my attention.

She's wearing... She's on oxygen. He has O2. Yeah. Notice that her shirt doesn't work. Work? Perform as a shirt would ever perform on a human person. Work?

In the way that if she... Tell me more. Well, look, she's having to hold it there because she doesn't have a torso anymore. Are you sure she's not pulling it up so you can see her loveliness? I'm frankly not sure this is real. This is so disgusting

and so unlike what a human being is. This reminds me of a manatee or something like that. This reminds me, if you've ever seen Blade, there's a scene where they go and they find this super, super obese vampire that's laying in a bed

and can't move. That's what this looks like. Let me, let me try to find that super obese blade vampire laid fat vampire. Let's see. Yeah. Yeah. Um, this is perfect.

This is exactly what I'm thinking and try to find the best image. It's got like fake titties in some part. I don't even know if we can show those like, like they're not, they're not even real. I don't know. I'll can show those. They're not even real. I don't know. I'll let you be the judge. I don't know.

It's just... Giant-ass bug just flew right behind my desk, and I don't know where it is. I don't think so. Those are clearly... Those are where titties are. Even though I guess the whole thing's a prosthetic. Here's a couple comments

here just rating yourself just rating yourself to a gluttonous end can't wait to see you tip the scale to a thousand pounds of pure lard wow you look amazing it must have been really difficult to get that big so young I hope you continue gaining

I cannot fucking believe I found this sub this is all absolutely have been really difficult to get that big so young i hope you continue gaining i cannot fucking believe i found this sub this is all absolutely repulses and i hope you die before having children that's my alt account i know i shouldn't have blown it sorry yeah this is this is insane like this is just a community of people who are embracing dying at the age of like 18 in some cases. If you go to the overall number way possible, the worst possible way. If you go to number 65 or I'm sorry,

number six all time, Woody, I mean, scroll ahead and make sure it's all. Yeah, it looks like you could show it like this. Does this person even have genitals? It looks like a fucking butter golem.

But like if the first picture of the 18 once it says echoes not so subtle ballooning this is the one in the red underwear yeah the red underwear she's huge in the first picture and now start scrolling through and by the time you get to the end you'll think the first one wasn't as bad oh my god the things that happen to their legs in particular the knees then oh my i can't believe this is real guys are we sure this is real and this isn't it's it's real legs in particular. The knees. Knees. I can't believe this is real, guys. Are we sure this is real? Dude, it's real.

I don't remember who it was on the O&A show who made this really funny joke, but they're making fun of fat people. It's like, bitch looks like she's got her shoes screwed on. If my dad came, if my dad came and was like, Kyle, there's a girl over there.'s a picture I need you to go she can't get up

she can't walk anymore if we don't do something the coyotes are just gonna get her Kyle comes back she tried to run but she was just kind of stumbling she jumped? I need you to go out there and put her down.

She just formed sort of a sphere and started rolling away. I got her. Between the pictures of 11 and 13, 11 she's still sitting. I want to hear Kyle explain. No, no, no. When they're that fat, you hit it with birdshot, it's fine. Their skin's made of leather. Dude, this is absolutely vile.

Who could possibly be into this as a fetish? Especially the women. It's putrid. It's so disgusting. I can get on board with chubby girls, even. I can see that board with like chubby girls even. And like I can see that like some fat girls, like actually fat women who are like 250, 300 pounds have pretty faces. I can get on board with all of that. Not that I'm down, but I can understand like the thought process.

I can see pretty features, right? I've seen fat women who have good boobs. And it's like, you know what? Put those on somebody else and we got a thing here. Yeah, can I have those? I'll give you a bucket of KFC. But these women have turned themselves into a science experiment. And these people are loving how they're dying.

One of the posts is at 40 years old, number 15 all time, at 40 years old, Suzanne probably doesn't have much time left. And it's like they're getting off on her dying, which I'm not going to be the one to cast stones and not say that this person clearly deserves to die. They're actively working for it every day. Hey, what's that thing that they bury giant obese people in that's

really funny? A piano casket. That's it! That's a piano box! They use a piano box! Dude, if you're this fat, they should have to bury you at sea. I feel fucking vile. You don't deserve a human burial. They should burn you. No,

they can't do that. It'll be like a tire fire. 30 years later, there'll be like, how is that still going? It's like, that's not right. Taylor,

the sea level is already rising. I feel bad because this is what boogie described his mindset as when he was growing he was like i wanted to die i love food it seemed like a win-win these women are in that look at him fucking he's asian porn stars that just want it all the time that's a life turnaround 18 years old 100 pounds but he was dating someone like he was paying a prostitute apparently not much

and she said there was a relationship there she said it I know she said it I heard it there's a lot of sick people out there oh my god there's one guy on this sub reddit all you need to do is i saw him is find the right sicko for you yeah dude if you're into this like if you're into feeding someone you're a piece of shit it's not a sexual fetish you're

an accomplice to murder that show i was talking about fortitude where the the there's the parasitic wasps from like the the the Ice age that are infecting the people And making them go crazy and homicidal There's a feeder in that show Really? Yeah yeah it's part of the show And it's not like a It's just there it's like you slowly Discover that this guy's like

And he's like speaking this like Fucking Denmark accent He's like oh you're so sexy I love how big you are you just want here just just just have a little something he's like i'm full come come just a little more he's like and she gets sick from the wasps and she can't really eat she's lost her appetite and he shows up with like a funnel and a hose and condensed sweetened milk it's fucked up that is yeah he's he's getting her big he's fattening her up because he likes that and he's like a fit fucking blonde viking looking dude but

he likes them like that apparently um you were like a show ago you were asking me about a show that i was mentioning a show before that and the show that I really, really liked on Netflix. I thought it was one of the best shows. It's Mindhunter. It's Mindhunter. I thought long and hard about what I could have been possibly talking about and it's definitely Mindhunter. You will love that. Incredible

acting. A great, based on true life story. It's the origination of the field of criminal um what do you call it um psychology like a criminal profiling maybe profiling it's it's it's the it's the origination of criminal profiling it's the first guy who was like why don't we go to the prison and talk to people who we've caught and ask them why

they do the things they do? And his bosses are like, that's crazy. What could you ever learn from that? And he's like, well, we'd learn what made him do it. And then we'd be able to predict why people do the things they do. And if we found the first body, we'd know maybe how to catch that guy. He's insanity. I guess i'll have to do it on my own time then and so he does and and like and so it's these two fbi agents going and and sort of like solving murders and and uh also like interviewing criminals in the prison system uh who are really well acted but you also get like this fbi agents like private life with his like hot girlfriend and like all the stuff that's going on there.

And you get to see the FBI at a very juvenile stage. It's very good. I'm eagerly awaiting the second season of it. It was first season ends and you're like, oh, but I want more. Oh, I need more of this. That was amazing. I need more. It's very good.

Mindhunter. I'm a little frustrated with this trend of next season not being next year. The season should end in the spring and start in the fall. You need to wrap that stuff around. Supernatural knows what they're doing. Game of Thrones, not so much. I've got Supernatural. Those guys work for a living.

Would that show – look, that's a good show. I enjoy it. I think it's fun. Even as a dude i sometimes think i don't know if the show would be popular if those guys weren't that good looking oh it wouldn't be that popular at all dude they are like distractingly good looking and it's 10 years in they're still good looking it's more than that it's it's off the top of my head i think it's 16 maybe like like like it's real deep like sam wasn't for uh dean um uh was literally on i think days of our lives like he's one of those like soap opera daytime male

hotties like that was his first acting gig and uh and sam i don't know what his deal is but he's like six foot four polak like yeah yeah the fact that they look that good 16 years later is unusual. Like the guy from Psych. Ever watch Psych? Do you know Psych? Yeah, yeah. It's fun. Yeah, yeah.

It's a nice show. I like it. If you watch him over the whatever six or eight seasons that happen, he plumped. Chris Pratt, 16 years from now, will not be a sex symbol like he kind of is. No. These guys were... Excuse me. These guys have good genetics. Dean especially I think is very good looking. Yeah. If I were gay

I'd be a Dean man. For sure. I feel like Sam would be the better boyfriend but Dean would be more fun. That's in line with how i think kyle would like his men i i love supernatural though like if anybody's out there and and they're like whatever there's a lot of reasons why you'd need a lot of content maybe you've broken your leg maybe your girlfriend just broke up with you maybe you're having a little bout of depression

maybe uh maybe you just need something in the background there is a smorgasbord out there of a little show called supernatural about two fucking brothers traveling the country beating up i use the word beating up because that's what they do beating up vampires demons werewolves dragons fucking ghosts ghouls demons and the devil himself from time to time and sometimes it's a literal fist fight okay usually there's a knife in there lately dean gets some loose pussy almost every episode but if you ever see sam find a girl he likes that bitch is gonna die next episode she's fucking dead meat they travel from town to town and it's like it the way that they supposedly find like where to go is like they search the internet and newspaper articles for like bizarre happenings like you know farmer lost all his cows someone killed nobody someone killed and they're like ripped apart maybe and

the heart's gone you know they see that and they're like oh that's some supernatural shit you know we need to go look in on that they get but what in reality they get there and there's always a damsel in distress there's always and i don't mean just like oh she's kind of a cute girl next door i mean oh so it turned out that a couple of maxim models were being besieged by vampires and like that's what it always put out a casting call in hollywood for hot women 300 smoking hot smoking hot actresses show up in hollywood and they pick the top two that and i like to believe that dean is fucking them all in real life. Sam's married to a very hot lady.

There's an episode where they go to another dimension, and in that dimension, they essentially come to our dimension, where they are a TV show, and everyone's calling them by their actor names, like their real life names. And Sam goes home, and it's calling them by their actor names, like their real life names. And Sam goes to his goes home and it's a mansion

because they're incredibly rich after like 15 years of this show. It's what they always say about TV. The first season you don't make any money. The second season you might make a little. But by the time you've renegotiated that contract six fucking times you're just making an enormous amount of money. Especially when you're making 20 or 30 episodes a year.

They're even, if you're only getting a hundred thousand dollars an episode, you're making millions and millions and millions of dollars a year at this point. So they go to Sam's house in this, in our dimension. Will they just use Sam's house? Did they,

I was, they used his house. It's absurd. It looks like, it looks like the kind of house that like a bull the kind of rich person that you look down that you hate would buy like that ridiculous staircase that nobody needs and like the marble flooring it's symmetrical on both sides as soon as you walk in it's like way too big like there's a lot of useless space as soon as i walk in the door

that there's like nothing to do with um yeah supernatural and and like i gotta talk about my favorite scene of all time in supernatural essentially sam has become has been drinking like demon blood or something i think to like super to like supercharge himself it makes him super strong and he's even got like like mental powers like like now he can like look at a bad guy and be like and they're like in excruciating pain he can control him and stuff he's he's super sam and he was already a badass with his fists and guns well there's other demon hunters out there and they get wind of this and they don't like it they're like this guy's turning he's got to be taken out and so sam and dean wake up in their motel room and there's just two guys there with ski masks, with shotguns pointed right at them. They're in the bed. And, uh, and Dean right

away recognizes them. They're like, Mikey, is that you? And he's like, shit. Yeah, it's me. That must mean that you're Bill over there. Yeah, I'm Bill that we got to take Sam out. Dean. He's, he's, he's turning to the dark side or whatever. And he's like, no, no, don't do it. Listen, we can work this out. And he just goes, boom. And he kills Sam right there. Shoots Sam in the chest with a 12-gauge shotgun.

Sam is fucking dead. And Dean goes, oh, you've messed up now. You've messed up now. You've messed up now. And the other guy's like, you gotta kill dean now he's like why do you really want dean winchester chasing you down the rest of your days he's like no i guess not and they're thinking they're talking it over dean goes just do it do it kill me but just know i'll be back real soon to get you i'll be back soon and i'm not gonna be happy and it's true because they're constantly dying

they go to hell and either either god an angel the devil the king of hell or death itself has to swoop in and go well i'm gonna give you another chance guys but for real this is like the last fucking one it's kind of essential that you survive for the earth to survive so get back in there like slap him on the ass and they like like wait back up king of hell is different than satan part of the storyline is that satan himself gets overthrown uh dean dean whips his ass uh throws him into this hole and satan gets locked in this like lockbox down in hell and this other guy takes over as the king of hell and and and he's kind of a main character and he's he's crowley crowley yeah crowley's cool character and like over the years crowley who in the beginning is

like a big bad villain he starts liking sam and dean and they start palling around together and they go you know dude it's a really good show it's fun if you need a lot of content like i said there's like 16 years of 22 hour-long episodes a year is so much to watch if you find it all if you find yourself battling like paraplegia if that's a word um this is the show you want to use to occupy your new sedentary time it's good shit if you won't find it because like sometimes i'll get into a show like i just re-watch the wire and i get to the end and i'm like well shit there's only like four or five seasons of this and there's only like 10 episodes a season like this is like two weeks of content if you're watching a bunch of it you know and it's over it's it's gone and now i've

got this like i'm like well shit i i kind of wish there was another season or a reboot or something that won't happen with supernatural by the time you get to finishing all the content up if you started right now and try to watch all the supernatural by the time you were finished finished i don't care what time of the year you started, a new season has already come out and you're ready to go again. Yeah. Okay? If you're diagnosed with cancer today, you will have more show left by the time you've beaten cancer. It will last the whole therapy session.

You will not outlive. You will not live a long. If you have stage four terminal cancer, you will not be able to finish it all. But I was really going the other way. I know, but that's not as fun. You'll die before you finish it all. Sickie, they have 300 episodes.

It's great, though. They're all fun. They're like 50 minutes each. They're like 50 fucking minutes each, bro. I like it when they die. On April 2nd, 2018, the CW renewed the series for a 14th season, which will consist of 20 episodes. So another 20 hours of content. They die.

And they don't show it all, but they're like in, I was going to say prison. They're in hell, torturing people, doing the devil's bidding. And time doesn't work right so even though they've only been there like for our off season they come back mentally strained by 10 000 years of just like ripping people apart and then putting them back together so they can get raped like the devil is they do the raping sometimes oh that's the thing they get they break them like they start off getting tortured and then they get to become the torturers because they can't take being tortured anymore. The devil literally rapes and tortures Sam for hundreds of years until Sam agrees to start being the torturer himself.

That's the kind of hardcore shit that they've been through. So at this point, they'll occasionally— Dude, it would take me three minutes of rape and torture. I'll do it. That is a big devil. They would have to just describe what they were going to do. They'd be like, I'm going to whip you with this cat of nine tails.

And then you're going to take this big red dick right in the ass. Unless you agree to torture. I'm like, yeah, your dick's not smooth. That looks like a dragon's tail. What the freak? We've never had someone agree before I even started.

No, I'm your man. I'll do whatever you want me to do. Do you want me to rape? Do you want me to rape the other baddies? Rape the rapists? Just do the dick thing and it'll hurt them even more. Remember, I'm on your team. So at this point, sometimes they'll have this moment

where they're sitting there in the car and like they're staring off into the distance. Just both of them broken. You know, they're just broken on the inside. At times, one or more of them have literally, literally lost their soul. Like they're just broken at this point. And you start really loving

the characters because they do it all for the good of humanity they know what they're giving up to like do this good you know for the world it's not all like a big adventure for them it's like this is what we do yeah uh the tall one in particular would much rather just like be a family man yeah i think maybe he was before the show started right well he was dating a girl in in college and he loved her and then a demon like nailed her to the ceiling and burnt her alive in front of him yeah that's the least of his mental anguish yeah yeah because because when he was a wee infant in the in the crib he saw the same thing happen to his mother. Literally, they've been getting traumatized from the time

Sam was an infant and Dean was a four or five year old. They saw their mother get burned alive, nailed to the ceiling by a yellow-eyed demon. That's how it begins. We should probably move along. Although I really enjoyed Supernatural Talk.

I've got Zion, Destroyer of Shoes. So... What the fuck's that? Let me lay this out there. I live in college basketball country. Here in North Carolina, we've got Duke and UNC. And then some other teams, Wake Forest and State, are occasionally good. But Duke and UNC are these powerhouses.

And they're playing each other. The cheapest seats in this whole thing when duke plays you a seat people are paying 1500 for the worst seats and there's this guy by the way zion comes along a player of this caliber comes along like once a decade he is the most can't miss first round draft pick that's existed for like 10 years they're saying something outrageous like that. And, um, Scotty Pippen told him to retire back in December.

They're like, stop playing college basketball. You are already the can't miss lock. Number one lottery pick that there has been for a decade. Now stop playing. They're not paying you at Duke. Like just tell your teammates to go fuck themselves don't hurt yourself and you know whatever so anyway this guy is playing i think

it was last night it was real recent and uh you guys ready i'm queued up at zero let me get ready yeah i'm there ready set play oh i hope he's not gonna get hurt because I hate when that happens. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Yeah. Oh, okay. That's okay.

No, his knee is busted. He's out of the game, and we don't know how injured he is at this point in real life for all I know on Saturday. Oh, you can see his kneecap. You can see his kneecap? Oh, no. Oh, no, buddy. Yeah. Oh, God damn it his whole life could be altered because these nikes busted

apart on him jesus christ he should sue nike yeah he doesn't have any rights he's a student athlete if people can't make out what's happening the bottom of the shoe is blue and uh his foot just slides out the side of the shoe because it it busts apart and because it's cheap chinese crap yeah yeah i we really need to put out a hit on some child laborer yeah she ruined his life and uh yeah we don't know how injured this knee is we know he didn't return this game and this is the duke unc rivalry game jesus well that really sucks man i was like if you were told as like an all-star bona fide gonna succeed athlete forget whatever sport any sport and you know you can leave where you're not getting paid to get signed to a fat contract like it depends on the sport um i think uh football i would definitely um stop I could, like if I had the option.

Because I feel like – and it depends on the position as well. Because if you're quarterback, I think that's a position where you're protected quite well. It's not often the quarterback just gets blown apart. There's rules protecting the quarterback. But if you're a running back or a corner, something where like you could get a knee blown out or something like that, I i quit if i if i'm allowed to if that's not gonna like fuck up my future if it's baseball it's like dude what's gonna happen like we're just lazing around out here hitting balls right like baseball injuries are pretty far and few between career-ending baseball injuries basketball you wouldn't want to hop in start making making money? You can't. You have to wait for the draft.

I don't understand. It depends on the scenario. You just have to sit out. What you're basically doing is being like, sorry team, I'm done playing. Oh, I would do that for sure. This guy wishes he did that right now. Maybe.

I would have a hard time leaving my teammates. I guess it depends on how I feel about my teammates. Oh, you'd feel shitty, but you'd have to compartmentalize that and be like, this is not my career. I'm foregoing this for my career. Something tells me basketball is kind of his thing, right? He probably didn't pour a lot of time into other pursuits. This is his skill set.

God damn it, what am I going to do with a history degree? He's not going to get it. What I think I'd actually do, and this isn't really... I think I'd have much more commitment to my team than my education. I would be the worst flipping student Duke has ever had. I don't think I'd go to any classes.

I'm saying something. These are all terrible students. Like, all student athletes, for the most part suck dick there's some there are outliers and you hear about them and you're outliers exactly okay fair enough i was a big duke fan like when i was in high school and jj reddick was on the team and uh and he's a sixer now yeah he's you know he got he got a lot of shit um when he first got in the uh the nba but that you know he's a talented guy he's got he's got a lot of shit when he first got in the NBA, but he's a talented guy. He's got a unique play style.

But the Cameron Crazies, that's what they call them. They're hardcore fans down there. They're all painted fucking blue like Braveheart, and they do this cheer where they all hop up and down and fucking cheer, and it's hypnotic. I like that. I like extreme sports fans who are really in on something. I don't know.

It'd be hard to leave my teammates, especially if we were about to win a national title or get into March Madness, and we're about to go deep into it, especially in basketball. Tell you one thing. Obviously, we just watched a guy's shoe explode. I've never seen anything like that happen ever, right?

It seems like a real freak accident so it's easy to go with some 2020 hindsight and be like see you should have done it but it's like if you narrow it to the shoe argument then you're right that doesn't happen very much but if you say hey a guy could hurt his knee well that happens you know tons of time or an ankle you know you jump and you land on someone else's foot oh yeah oh yeah that's definitely a thing man a lot of the it seems like a lot of people got hurt in that last ufc event the one guy's got a punctured and collapsed lung and uh and then he got punched on the fucking side and his rib punctured his lung and then it collapsed after the fight he won the fight yeah he he powered through it for about half a round.

Was it Rolf Felder? Is that his name? I think. And then, of course, big old slope head. Kane. Kane Velasquez fucking got KO'd. And then I think his knee got blown out on the way down. So that sucked.

Man, are you aware of the card that's coming up uh march second or third or whatever john jones card yes have you looked at how stacked that whole card is yeah like cody garbrandt's like the bottom of the card it is uh is it what do you remember the name the ufc 233 i can't keep up with them. 235 maybe? It is a stacked fucking card. It's Ben Askren is fighting on that card against Robbie Lawler and then John Jones and that guy that they're going to let him kill. Anthony Smith. Yeah, good old Anthony Smith.

Anthony Smith has 13 losses. I mean, I've heard of him. I think I've even seen him fight. Yeah. That 205 seems weak right now. 205 seems weak when Jon Jones is fighting. I think if Jon Jones weren't there, you'd be like,

it's a real competitive division here. Look at everybody's. Everybody's real scrappy. But Jon Jones is there, You'd be like, it's a real competitive division here Look at everybody's Everybody's real scrappy But Jon Jones is there So it's like, oh shit It happens to be that the most dangerous man on the planet Is in our weight class I want to see him step up to heavyweight

I wish that was in the cards I'd love to see him fight Ngannou There are a couple heavyweight fights I'd like to see Ngannou is cool Him against Kane would be cool. He's not going to knock him out with one punch. Think about that kick he does to the knee.

Come on, Kane. That's mean. I feel like I put you in Jon Jones' body and you beat Cain Velasquez with that technique. People don't know Cain has infamously bad knees. And John Jones has mastered a kick that... John Jones has probably,

I'm going to guess, 89 inch legs. Something giant. And he does a kick that tries to bend your knee backwards. That's like one of his... Like a gruesome specter lumbering towards you. What's the Indian dude's name from Street Fighter

oh shit I don't know Indian I spelled that wrong uh dollism anyway I never got into Street Fighter that much. Well, this guy had super long arms and legs and it would make sense if you saw it.

But anyway. Yeah, so you got Jones versus Smith. That's a championship fight. Woodley versus Usman. Also an interesting championship fight. Lawler versus Askren. Ben Askren. We finally get to see him. Oh, I'm so excited. Super cool. Interesting fight, too.

Tisha Torres against Y Zhang. I don't really know them, but I like Tisha Torres. Tisha Torres has the best nickname in all of mixed martial arts. She's the Cookie Monster. And then the Curtain Jerker, Cody Garbrandt against Pedro Moonhoz. I don't know. Yeah, it's good to see Cody

coming back. He hasn't fought since that TJ Dillashaw loss. I think he wins this one in convincing fashion. Then he's going to have a good argument to get back in there if TJ loses to Henry Cejudo or even if he beats Henry Cejudo when they fight at 135

inevitably. Big, big card. I'm very excited. I'm definitely buying that card. I look forward to that. You going to throw any money on it? Yeah, yeah. I'll play some bets. It depends if Chiz wants to bet with me because that's who I bet with. Chiz bets on these fights a lot. He's won several thousand dollars over the last month and a half or something like that betting on uh betting on fights and uh and i think uh another sport or two uh he he really picked some good winners he bet on um uh in gano the other night and uh oh yeah you know he made a nice little profit off of that jizz is a smart gambler

um but but i'll you know it makes it more fun if you put a little money on it. So yeah, I'll probably put money on Askren to win, even though it's a scary fucking fight for him. I bet anything that Jon Jones wins his fight. I'd bet upwards of $2,000 or $3,000 on Jon Jones to win and feel very comfortable going into that. And I would bet on Cody to win too because i'm a huge cody fan and i think that like the only reason that he isn't the champion right now is because the guy who is champion was like his training partner for years and just knew how he worked and and he and cody

got too aggressive and dillashaw just the first fight could have gone either way i mean there was a time when TJ was knocked silly, and he got up and managed to come back and knock Cody Grant even more silly. But, you know, if you hit a guy so hard that he falls to the ground and takes a bit to recover, you almost won. Yep. Yep. Yeah, for sure.

The trouble with these supercars is you kind of have to pay for them. If you go to a streaming service, when the real good fights come on, the ones you super care about, the ones you've been waiting for six hours to see, when they come on, the service dies if you don't pay for it. If you do pay for it, you're fine. If you pirate it. If you really want to be shady, text me that night

and I'll just send you a link. Because I always get sent links. I pay for the cards that I think are worthy of my money frankly if there are a way i could pay 30 for like i feel like the shitty cards should be 30 and the great cards can be 65 and i'd pay for both you know what i mean you you wouldn't download a car you know what i would download a thousand cars here's the thing. That is a bad example. When things like Spotify came out, a lot of people were like, oh, no, we're going to stop making money.

I like the iTunes model better or the CD model better. It started with CDs. People paid $17 for whatever, 12 songs, but they only wanted two of them. And they're like, if they stop doing that, this will suck. Well, no. People went to iTunes. They made at least as much. They started buying more and just it became a nice user experience to buy your songs and have them.

And then Spotify comes along and they say, this is going to suck. This is the worst. Now people don't pay for my music anymore. They just pay for the listens. But it turns out they're making even more money. they're making even more money. And the reason is, if you have Spotify or one of their competitors, you're spending something like $120 a year.

You know, what is Spotify? $10 a month? Probably about that. Yeah. Your $120 a year music budget is actually probably more than you spent when you were buying $17 CDs, you know, on average. And musicians are making more

because people are paying more. The budget is higher. People didn't pay $120 a month when Sam Goody was the way you got music. I'm sorry, a year. So UFC should do that. UFC should say, instead of trying to get me

to buy a $60 pay-per-view, which I don't buy one every month, if they got me to pay like $60 a month or $40 a month or forty dollars a month for everything all the time i would sign up for that and be a reliable revenue source yeah doesn't this fat bitch look like if aria stayed with hot pie at the end i can't show that i think that might be a pussy that is absolutely not a pussy that is not where the vagina begins but but i get what you're saying it looks like a but but you gotta show the second one

yeah just put your thumb over over over that flat after after a certain weight you just aren't a person anymore no i agree you have no your physical attributes don't even resemble the movement of a human being like i agree. If aliens came down, they would be like, and what is that species? Is that one of your water creatures? How could it live with your great... Is that one of your water creatures?

Why do you make this water creature live amongst you? Shouldn't it be put back in the ocean with the manatee and the other marine mammals? Why does it smell different than the rest of you humans? On my planet, we have a beast like this. It lives deep in the oceans.

Oh, you know what I heard? The blue whale that we have now I saw on a YouTube video, so it's true, is the largest animal that's ever existed on Earth you're right it's the largest there has ever been

the blue whale which is pretty cool you know that giant aggressive whale thing you see in Jurassic Park that wasn't actually that big turns out Jurassic Park is somewhat inaccurate that's true do they even know the damage they're doing by promoting this i thought i'm gonna make all these kids want to become paleontologists they're gonna study all

their life and then they're gonna realize it's really really really really really really really dumb yeah i did a i did a science project on the blue whale when i was in i don't know fourth or fifth grade or something like that so i knew so that. I didn't. It is big. It is blue. It seems like whenever I look back in time, they're like, yeah, we have tigers now. Tigers are totally badass. But they're actually complete pussies compared to prehistoric tigers. We have elephants now.

The elephants are actually pretty cool. But they're absolutely pussies compared to the old school like woolly mammoth. Everything we have now seems like a lame, stupid version of what we used to have, except blue whales and us. Yeah, they weigh 300,000 pounds. Yeah. To put that in perspective, a whale shark weighs 40,000 pounds. And to put that in perspective,

this fat whore here weighs 1,000 pounds. That's true. If you take the front page of dying to be fat and aggregate it, you've got 1.7 blue whales. That's not true. No, that is true. Some of these are scale pictures. 300,000 pounds? I'm sorry.

I can't stop looking. It would take 600 or 400, whatever, 1.7. It'd take like about the ultimate wake-up call the ultimate wake-up call for these fat fucks has to be when they install like the olympic ring thing that looks like the thing you hold on to when you're water skiing and you have to grab onto that to pull yourself up what how do you continue to eat after that's installed sorry i'm bringing it back to the fat people you know it's one of my favorites i feel like it's mean it's just horrible it's so mean taylor these are but these people are doing it to themselves with the purpose of being like

a fetish they're sick but like if people like me aren't brave enough to go after these hard targets then who will they are the softest of targets literally and figuratively. Not their arteries. Not fair counterpoint. You got me there. Arteries like fucking old bathroom tile just shatter

any moment. Anyway big fat fucking monster we can move on. But this one does look like Arya. I had something here. Let's see. We can move on. But this one does look like Arya. I had something here. Let's see if I can find it. Oh, I've got something about Wisconsin high school cheerleaders receive awards for biggest butt and

breasts at a banquet. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I had the same reaction. I thought, isn't that normal? Like they had like for our teams in high school, we'd have penis inspection day and then you'd give out the trophy at the end

to the person with the best foreskin, the person with the best circumcision. Do you have a link to this? And are there images? No. This sounds... There are no images. Well, that's not...

I just read... All these, I just read the headline and then just make up whatever I think the article will be. Who won? That's what I want to know. Wisconsin High School has reportedly come under fire for a cheerleading award ceremony last year that saw some of the teens win accolades such as

Biggest Boobies and Biggest Booty Awards. Appalled, parents called the American Civil Liberties Union, and on Tuesday, the group sent a warning to Kenosha Unified School District that it might file a lawsuit over the high school's mock award ceremony and what's wrong with this like it looks like it's here's what i said i looked around and thought did that just happen if my daughter would have won one of those awards i would i would have absolutely been rushing the stage it was just so wrong in so many ways one mother told the newspaper fuck you fuck you let's see them big tittied high school girls that's what i'm

talking about i need to find like some instagram posts or something from this because there's nothing i like better than a freakishly big-titted lady, okay? Especially when they're nice and young like that, okay? And gravity hasn't even begun to take its toll, and it will, it will. These ladies have, like, one year of prime time when they've got, like, those big, like, 36 triple Ds. The clock's ticking immediately. You ever see 60 Minutes, and it's like,

on this episode, it's like tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick. That's how much time you got left on those titties before they melt. Okay? Same thing, but to some extent, with asses. Okay? It takes a lot to keep that ass. Well, but the difference with the ass is you can do squats, you can deadlift, you can do a bunch of stuff to keep your ass firm.

You can do those things, but they don't. Okay? Especially not in weak asses. There's no workout for your tits. lift you can do a bunch of stuff to keep your ass you can do those things but they don't okay especially not in there's no workout for your tits yeah yeah bitch press yeah but that's not going to reverse the saggy it helps a lot it helps a lot and you can get yeah it absolutely does and you can get lifted of course you had muscle under the titty it makes the titty bigger i've seen it oh my god like not to the subject. I was driving today and I was driving past a CrossFit gym and I looked, it caught my attention because there was a guy outside who was doing those things where you like have a rope tied around you, like a toga kind of like, like shoulder to,

to down diagonally. And he's like walking through the parking lot, dragging what looked like about 200 pounds on like a little sled, like across the asphalt. And I was like for this guy you know he's getting after it because it's kind of a rainy day and then i see his trainer i'm in traffic and this woman is a good 120 150 feet from me and her titties are so fucking big and her waist is so fucking small that i almost just went in there and start and just took a shot it just started crossfit i was i was immediately struck no fuck the crossfit i'm going i'm going i don't care about working out i'm going to offer this lady some money to be my home trainer if that's first i'll hit on her and if that doesn't seem to be going the way

First I'll hit on her, and if that doesn't seem to be going the way, I'm going to try to purchase her. Because I have never, I cannot recall seeing a woman more incredibly ridiculously built. I mean, each titty was, I wish I could show you dimensions. They were sticking out, and they were huge. Was it as big as my head? Yes! Nice. It was like two of your heads. And she had on tight CrossFit workout gear.

And her arms were fucking built. Like Linda Hamilton in Terminator 2 built, which you haven't seen because you're a piece of shit. All right? She had well-defined arms. What's the muscle on the back of the arm? Tricep. Her triceps were like popping and she, she looked like she was a good, like five foot seven, like five foot eight maybe.

And she's wearing like yoga pants. And I can see that like her like quads and everything are defined and her ass looks great, but I can't stop staring at her gargantuan fucking titties that are just sticking straight out and big and she's wearing her top is so tight that like it like makes this perfectly defined like curve under the titty and then down to like a tight fucking core i was i it took me a second to leave the red light and like somebody honked and i literally went and the guy went like he took notice and he didn't honk again and and we each took about two more seconds before we actually left for the green light i i'm still thinking about this woman and if i can find out where she lives you should try you should go back say you're

interested in crossfit but i'm intimidated by getting right into it with you guys it would really help me if we could do some home training i've got a lot of equipment there uh some of it gym related even you know and that's what you could do you could ask her like what do you do how do you get what muscles this like what muscle is that yeah how do you get all that how do you get all that titty meat the worst thing that could happen is she'd beat me up i'm down yeah i'm down like that's not my thing or anything but i you know i might i might that that if that's as close as i'm gonna get then i'll take it you know what i mean she's so hot that you would let her beat you up yeah she's so hot that i would let her beat me up absolutely absolutely

she was a perfect specimen i i was like like i normally don't like get that turned around when i see a hot woman like oh there's a pretty girl there's a good looking lady i was just like what the fuck are you you people exist out in the wild she was outrageous but yeah this this high school giving awards woody for biggest ass biggest titties oh i saw that and it was like it's funny to me it wasn't it wasn't a college cheerleading team am i crazy no it's high school it's like prime it's literally like yeah it's supposed to those worn out college girls i think that they're like ruining ruining it for the girls, right? Because it's a mock award ceremony.

It's the same thing as most likely to succeed. Not succeed, but most likely to fart at a funeral or stupid shit that you'd give out in high school. That's what it is. I think this is one of those things where it's a bunch of jokes that the kids come up with, I would think. I guarantee that the girls who won these awards are in no way offended. They're highly flattered by it just like a guy would be

they're not feeling objectified are you sure praised yeah i'm 100 sure it's a mock award ceremony it's like my understanding is like you know when you're on a sports team and they'll be like giving out jokey awards like that's what i think this is. And Smelliest Jockstrap goes to Willie. I've known girls with double D's who are otherwise bit looking. And Biggest Helmet goes to Taylor Merker. No for real, we special

ordered it. And they're sensitive about their giant boobs. It's not a feature that they're happy to have. And sometimes they don't look great naked. Who are these women you're talking about that you talk to with enormous titties who don't like them my neighbor i don't your neighbor how old is she she was this is a long time ago um probably 31 was she married yes there you go she can't show them off anymore maybe i i her her titties are no longer of value to her i bet if you asked her they are they're absolutely not a value to her that that's 100 that's not just

not a joke it's 100 real i bet if you asked her husband how he felt about the titties he's like i love them they go she goes but to her she's who needs them? They just get in the way now. Bug crawled up on my foot that was decent sized, flicked it off, and now I don't know where it is. Biggest booty on your whole cheerleading team? That might not be a quality booty. You're not getting that award if it's not a quality booty. They're not picking

Sarah, giant fatty fat ass over there to win that award. They're picking the girl with that big old booty over there that everybody wants. That's the point of this thing, man. I'm telling you, nobody's offended by this except for the ugly and fat girls and the moms of ugly fat girls

who were also probably ugly fat girls. I don't think that they're even... It's like cheerleading, so you have to be kind of athletic to do it. They do a bunch of spins and shit. It's just... I bet the girls made up these these categories themselves like i've never i've never known a girl that when you compliment her on her like ass or her pussy or her titties i've never once in hundreds of instances had them go how how dare you? Don't you appreciate my brains? It's like, yeah,

that's why we're having a conversation here because I like your brains, but your titties are incredible. A good answer to that is to go, you're smart enough to know that I don't. That is a good one. But I've never had a girl not be like, oh, well, thank you. I'm glad you like

them. That's the response every fucking time. And they they like them too every girl i've ever known who had like really big boobs she's always known she had big boobs they have their her she finds them to be her best feature she flaunts them she uses them to her advantage in every aspect of her fucking life and she and while sure they make her back hurt, and her bras are expensive, and she has to special order them, still, she wouldn't trade them in. Some girls do. Some girls get reductions.

Yeah, some girls do when they actually have actual issues. That's the only kind of body modification that should be illegal. I agree. They usually upgrade crime against humanity. The girls who are getting breast reductions Don't usually have The shape and the firmness

That make them great Like Robin Quivers She had those Robin Quivers had a breast reduction But they grew back So they were like So they were fat titties and so she basically had fat sucked out

and then she gained weight again and replenished it. A little bit of both. A little column A, a little column B. Even when she was thin in the early 90s, they were colossal. I don't remember what the letter is, but it ain't D or E.

It's one of those letters you don't hear much. She has J pluses. Yeah, it's like 36 Fs or something like that. Let's Google Robin Quiver's tits, 1990, and we'll see who's right. I got a hot link for you. No need for that. Yeah, they were just colossal. Just colossal.

I like some big old titties. You watch Chael Sonnen too. Are you like me that you hardly miss his videos you know when chael's got something to talk about you watch what old chael says i didn't watch his dinner with cowboy serroni um but other than that i'm pretty disappointing i thought but yeah so um did you see his i'm on a hunger strike video no jail son and lays it out there i'd play it for you guys it's eight minutes long though and um basically he says i always thought i was pretty disciplined and you know i could lose weight and get back in shape whatever but i've been a heavy weight for a while now and i could eat anything i want and decided to sort of shape up my diet because i don't like

the way i'm looking and i'm thinking about some lower weight classes i'm not losing weight it's like i don't know what's up i go to the gym as much as i used to etc and then just heavy so i've decided not to eat i'm four days in to a water only diet i don't know how much longer it'll last but but it is what it is he goes a little while longer like he went like about a week without food looks better looks better yeah i there was that guy in the hospital from like years and years ago who weighed like 506 or probably like 600 pounds and he stayed in hospital for a whole year and just gave him water and like intravenously gave him the nutrients he needed no food and he lost like 350 pounds over the course of the year like didn't die

like just no no physical food yeah you don't need food um you need vitamins and minerals you know what's like the survival rule like three minutes without air three days without water three days oh it might be weeks yeah it's it's it's like a month or so it's six weeks is what i've always heard it depends on how fat you are with food. Kyle and Taylor can't see this, but on your screen is Chael Sonnen talking about how he's just not losing weight like he wants to. And here he is like a month later. This is him. I think he looks better.

I'm sure he does. He probably lost to get 12, 15 pounds. Neck and chin. And he's just a sharper looking guy yeah yeah there's nothing wrong with that like like um you know i've i've lost extreme amounts of weight by doing that before like like if you just don't eat for four days and and you don't have to go completely no food you can eat like a little something, like literally like a bite.

A bite is all you really need. Like hunger goes away after a while. I just don't want to lose any muscle. Yeah, you're a young man. You'll be all right. I mean, yeah. I worry about that too, and there's like weird stop signs people throw up.

Like, oh yeah, you do that, all of a sudden your metabolism's going to drop. You go into survival mode, and then when you, you know, do go back into your normal eating, suddenly your metabolism will be dirt slow, you'll gain it all back instantly, it'll be a waste. I don't believe anything anyone says. I've heard that survival mode thing is a myth. Yeah, I don't believe anything.

It's like you don't get to survival mode until, like, an enormous amount of your bodily fat storages have already been depleted. Yeah, it's just not what I've experienced in my own, like, personally experimenting with my body kind of experience. When I went to jail, I talked about it the other day. I didn't eat for days.

Days went by. I could do that with pooping a while back. I didn't poop either. I didn't poop for days because I wasn't eating for days. Makes sense. You didn't go in there with anything in the chamber? No, I I think I might go to jail tomorrow. Let's save off on the save.

He kept that loaded for in case something happens. You know how a squid will die everywhere? When it needs to make a quick getaway? Let me tell you my plan. I've been eating nothing but cabbage and chocolate milkshakes for the last eight days. Nothing but boiled eggs. So, yeah. All I was eating was like breakfast would come and I'd go like a bite.

And then lunch would come and it was like a bite. Like literally because it was so bad. It was so lame. And I wasn't doing anything that like i lost so much weight in like a couple days like like literally like three days and i lost like 15 pounds or something taylor resting metabolism about 2100 a day ish depends depends your size and how much muscle mass you have uh the more muscle mass you have the more you can afford which is like one of the big reasons to put on muscle because it buys snackage but yeah so for guys it's about 2000 ish and for girls it's about 1400 ish i think my

around that probably a little higher than 14 probably like 15 1600 like i think my basal metabolic rate is at like 2250 wings is like wings we did wings once and i want to say it was like 35 to 3700 something like that and and i felt like mine usually comes in at like $2,300 or something like that when I just do the basic calculations. Yeah, and this is not scientific. It's just like going to science. Yeah, it's just to round it off, like sort of get a general idea. You're never going to know until you get in one of those water tanks

that takes into account things like bone density and all that stuff, and you actually get an accurate body fat percentage. You're never going to know until you literally get into that, because those fat calipers and stuff like that, you're never getting an accurate body fat percentage. I got you, you little fuck.

Let's see what you got there. Let's see this insectoid. Oh, where is he uh-oh oh he must have fallen on the ground he's dead though i would wager he crawled on my ankle a couple times so i didn't care for that do you feel like a bitch when that happens when like a little bug will crawl on you unexpectedly and you'll be like i you know my bitchiest moments are when i'm chasing like a mouse or a rat and i'm at full brave like on the attack and then he comes towards me and i go to full retreat that's my war that's my shame i've never had that happen but i can imagine being like the big man in the garage with like my broom

and like on the aggressive and then it just hightails it and suddenly i'm like oh what do i do is i'm gonna climb up my leg and give me rabies oh yeah have you ever done that kyle like do you have you ever freaked out about a bug on you or something? Like knowing probably it's fine, but it's just unexpected. I just smushed them. Like I would never touch them if I just saw them. But if it's on me, I'll just kind of go into caveman mode and just be like smush. Like right onto my chest. That's happened before where like a spider was in bed on my chest. Like a pretty fairly big one.

And I was shirtless. And I just felt it and looked down at my collarbone and he was there and i just smush oh that's the the worst bug experience i had was uh you know cicadas yeah absolutely like i don't know how big they are everywhere we all live in pretty like green i just mean like big is like a phenomic oh it's a huge phenomenon like if you live in one of the states like midwest or south where there's a ton of greenery everywhere there's a fuck ton of these things and they're these bugs that come out like every 17 years or something then there's these

other kinds that come out like every nine years like there's a couple different kinds yeah but when i was little like one of the 17 year booms happened and we had a giant ass willow tree in our backyard and it was like it's it's alive 24 7 it's just a sound you get used to in the summer just yeah like not not like it's loud as fuck and that willow tree must have had a couple million in it like it's insane and me and my brother were fooling around and in the backyard once just like wearing know, probably just like shorts and no shirt. Yeah, we weren't wearing shirts, just running around in the sun. And we got a hose with like the gun attachment that you can spray out there.

And we were like, oh, you know, it'd be really fun if we sprayed the willow tree and get the cicadas wet and see what they do. And so we went over there and we like and started spraying water into it and after like five seconds of that is nothing like a little yeah but we did it more spraying it into the willow tree and like almost like the tree was growing there's just like a cloud of like black bugs that come out of it. And they start a frenzy filling up our entire yard. They were, they're like running into you and like hitting you all over.

I remember like telling my brother to go back inside and I like open my mouth. So I tell him to go. And one of them landed on my lip and I started doing that. One of them landed in my belly button and like crawled in a little bit and i'd like pinch and pull it out it was i still hate cicadas it freaked me out so i swear i got inside and i found like four more on me just because they have little hook clogs they just stick they're awful in your fucking clothes they are evil little bugs and i hate them i was in tennessee

like one year that they were just awful it was like 2011 maybe i don't know you probably look at look at a calendar and see like oh yeah that was the year of the cicada but there was it was just screeching like you heard like a continuous like a train screaming noise in the background and we set off this enormous explosion in this valley and it went quiet like the shock wave or the explosion or whatever they just they stopped for like a solid like two seconds and it was like oh this is what silence sounds like and then it just comes back like loud again i don't know why my camera's frozen oh you knew he said you could see it too oh yeah oh yeah yeah i'm just i'm just frozen i was thinking it was kind of funny at first and i I should just, like, not say anything.

And I could just, like, go, like, watch a movie or something. Like, nobody would even know I'd left. Like, Kyle was pretty quiet there for a while. He just sat there and stared. What do you guys think? It's always sunny in the background, though. I feel like, altogether, Discord's been an improvement, right? Oh, yeah. 100%.

100%. It's been an enormous improvement. I think everybody, all the listeners and viewers agree yeah but it is trading for a different set of issues like the cameras didn't really freeze in skype but mine did on skype i'd way rather have issues with video than audio i think you're right i think you're right um sometimes like skype would go robotty whereas uh discord is more inclined to just cut off but yeah i think overall it's better i i think discord is like 99 perfect uh i never have any issues discord is not even moving as you say that well that's the one percent and i don't think it's discord at all i don't think that has anything to do with Discord. I think that's some sort of issue on my end, maybe with my camera or the way my computer reads my camera,

because it does weird things a lot. And it's in both Skype and Discord. So we'll end the show tonight, and I'll leave my PC on, but then I'll try to turn the camera on later, even to just do a test video, and it'll just be black. It'll recognize that the camera's there, and's plugged in but i've just got a black screen so i have to unplug the camera from my pc plug it back in restart the pc and try again and that'll usually fix it but sometimes i got to do that two or three times and then that'll fix it

so uh i get i mean i could fix it right now if you want. Sometimes you fix it and it's real quick. You just, like, what, leave the call and come back? That's me restarting my computer. Wow. It just restarts really quick. Well, Taylor's not here, so don't do that. I'll just be singing and dancing. I put my operating system on an M.2 drive,

and it's just, it loads real quick. It loads real quick. Yeah, I forget if I put an M.2 drive in mine or not. Yeah, it's, um, what a future is now drive in mine or not yeah it's um what a say it did yeah yeah it's nice i i don't going to solid state hard drives in general is just so much better than mechanical i'm done with mechanicals well let me uh do a little advertisement here tell everybody about turo turo is a peer-to-peer car sharing marketplace where you can book any car you want wherever you want from a community

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out. You gain the ability to learn any man's abilities and knowledge if you suck his dick to completion and swallowing his load grants that knowledge or skill. If you do so,

who would be your top three? Phew. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Man. This is a Patreon question, by the way, if you'd like to submit your own Patreon questions, there's a link down below. Do I gain their money or just their skills?

I'll repeat. It's a little poorly worded, but essentially, if you suck a dick and you swallow, you're going to gain that person's knowledge and abilities. So you'll be able to, if he speaks French, you can speak French. If he plays the guitar like Eric Clapton, now you can do so as well. You have to suck Eric Clapton's dick to do that. So, who would be your top three?

God, top three? Right away, I want to throw it away on some paramotor paragliding skills. Do not blow someone in the paramotoring. Do not tell me who and who not to blow, Taylor. That's true. I have no right to tell you how hard your dick should be or who you

should blow. This guy gave two examples. He goes, for example, if you suck LeBron James off, you will now have the level of ability to play, his level of ability to play basketball. If you suck Woody off, you've now learned the ins and outs of how to degrade a Chili's waitress.

You know what? I was going to say a sports, any kind of sports figure, but we're all too late in life to hop into most of the sports. So the good way to do it, I think, would be to blow like Jack Nicklaus, Tiger Woods, and who's that other guy? Rory McIlroy. How good at golf do you want to be? Because this is a career that I can do for the rest of my life. It's McIlroy. How good at golf do you want to be? Because this is a career

that I can do for the rest of my life. It's easy as shit. I'll be awesome at it and I'll make a fuck ton of money. It's a sport that doesn't stop when I hit 35. I'll be fucking 62 still making a ton of money. I'm going to blow three golfers. Whoever the top three golfers are, I'll blow them.

Taylor makes a lot of sense. Are you sure? I can't just need to blow one good, terrible player. I'm a patron. That's my question. See, there's like some knowledge. I think I'm going to suck Shroud's dick. All right? I'm going to get that sweet, delicious gaming skill.

You can suck that other streamer's dick you were talking about. Disney? Then I suck Loomy's dick. Alright? I was going to do that anyway. I'm pretty good at Left 4 Dead. I'm just throwing that out there. Not that good.

So yeah, suck Shroud's dick. Get those sweet gaming skills. I think maybe I would i would like to to blow like some sort of an olympic level gymnast like i don't know who that would be but somebody who could really do some crazy like gymnastic stuff interesting and then i think i want to dig up johnny cochran and suck his dead black dick so that I can defend myself. No, you can't come. You can't swallow it. Yeah, you can't suck a dead person's completion.

Okay, sorry, sorry, sorry. Okay. Well, you know, pick a lawyer. Alan Dershowitz. There you go. That's a name. Actually, you know what would be good? All I have to do is blow Jack Nicklaus,

and I get all of the golf skills I need. Then I have two more blow jobs to spend, and I could do like... Oh, I thought you wanted to be really good at golf. I'll just be good in... He's done fine. He's done great for himself, so if I get his skill set, I think I'll be okay.

That one, if I blew like Putin or Xi Jinping or something, like the leader of russia or china i'd have all their knowledge and i know the ins and outs like all the shit that's going on uh trump i don't think you learn much about the ins and outs of some things um yeah no i wouldn't do i wouldn't care about political knowledge i'd want like maybe blow like a mathematician or something because that's something i've never been that good at and i'd suddenly be brilliant that'd be fun well the after the effect of it would be fun getting there would be just soul ruining because like think about it like if if they can tell if jack nicholas can tell i'm given a half-hearted beach he's not going to be into it

and it's going to take him even longer which means that as a form of self-defense against this situation i in started i have to be really into it you know like that's the way you get it done as quickly as possibly it'd be very into the blow or just do it in a very dark room and have and play porn for them that's a good idea these are good ideas what i'm struggling on my three uh who's the smartest person in the world that's a dumb person thing to google it's certainly not me so brian cox is on my list um brian Brian Cox was just on the JRE show, and he seemed to understand all these things about physics and everything science-y, global warming, physics. He's explaining how the universe is flat

and how they measure the birth of the dawn of the universe. He's the smartest guy I can think of right now, Brian Cox. I have GSP in there. He's an MMA fighter. I don't know why I want that skill i don't really think fighting without weapons is a super useful skill uh but i've got gsp on my list right now and a third i don't know all of a sudden i'm a total badass, as smart as Brian Cox. Maybe I just suck off Jerry's dick himself, right?

Who's the best communicator on the planet right now? Definitely not Joe Rogan. A professional communicator. Give me, we'll top him. I mean, you have to eat Sarah Sanders' box. Sarah Sanders. Oh, you think she's a good communicator? I don't.

Did my camera freeze already? Yeah, it did. You entered frozen. It's not a bad look, but yeah. Now you look a little, you look grimacing. I look kind of sad. I'm trying to think. Who else would you blow?

Almost as sad as... As Daniel Cormier. Daniel Cormier in this picture. We changed our minds, Kyle. Or I did. I'm only blowing Jack Nicklaus to absorb his skills. Yeah, he's not going all in on the golf anymore. No, because you know what I'm going to do?

I'm going to blow the guy who plays the stock market. That's funny that you said that. Because I was just about to remove GSP, whose skill is fighting, which I find to be not that useful, like fist fighting, with Warren Buffett. That's a good idea. This guy's perhaps the best investor ever? Probably. And then, I don't know, I want somebody really smart.

I like that he's more of an investor than a businessman, because businessmen have to work. Whereas investors just predict who works good. That's why he lives in that same Nebraska home. Just too fucking lazy to move out. Yeah. Right. I'm sure he'd do it all by himself. I don't work for a living, and I'm certainly not moving.

Yeah. Yeah. He's dead now, but what the hell is Steve Jobs I'm going with? Right? Steve Jobs, though, I bet he worked all the time. Oh, yeah, probably obsessed with it. He and Gates probably were just 100% of their thought process was taken up with that always.

I bet they left the office to sleep and came back when they woke up. Whereas Warren Buffett, he just gets to say, you know what, I think Coke is due for a rebound. All good. It says that this guy, I searched smartest man in the world, and it came up Christopher Langan, who, an

independent scholar, but I don't know how much I believe this. Hey, a fellow Missouri person. Now I know I don't believe it. Yeah. If the only way I can find about who the fuck you are is by searching smartest man in the world,

then you can't be that smart, right? You didn't do anything with it? You just come up with weird theories that nobody latches onto? I don't buy it. This guy's not that smart. He was clever enough to buy Google search engine optimization. Yeah. He was clever enough to buy Google search engine optimization. Yeah.

He was clever enough to buy an ad. The 30 smartest people alive today. Oh, Stephen Hawking. This is old. Oh, man. Imagine how long it would take to blow Stephen Hawking. I don't know that Neil deGrasse Tyson belongs on that list. No, obviously not.

He's like the pop science guy. He's like the Bill Nye of science. He's still smarter than any of us. I'll give you that. But I wouldn't blow someone even in the vicinity of my IQ if I was trying to do it to gain their powers. I need someone. I don't need a guy who tweets like,

actually, you may be celebrating christmas but it's really the lunar calendar switch and how foolish we all are for uh interpreting things through the cause cosmos and it's like neil shut the fuck up this list sucks it has stephen hawking at number one who i'm told was actually not that bright and all his uh greatest who told you that that's that's a real theory, is that he was retarded the whole time. No, I'm sorry. Not that Bright is overstating it, but they're saying that he was never

one of the world's greatest and that all of his major pronouncements just turned out to be wrong and that really he got a lot of bonus by being disabled. Yeah, I'm not smart enough to discount Stephen Hawking. And Neil Tyson DeGrasse? What did I say?'s eyes in the grass what did i say yeah that's just aggressive oh yeah

oh kyle no one trusts you when you say i do um you shouldn't so uh anyway black science guy is science literate combined with a professional communicator right which is not a common cross-section and that's why he's like the face of science but he's not actually a top scientist i'm told i'm not smart enough to even back rank these people well i'm sure that it'd be easy to find some it depends what you want it's not raw. If you want raw intelligence that you can then apply to any pursuit that suits you, then maybe you want to go after like looking to Mensa registration, right? And find that raw intelligence, right? But...

Dude, Mensa is not actually a club for smart people. It's a way to con people who think they're smarter than they are into paying a fee to join it. Have you guys ever taken the Mensa test? No. I'm not going to pay money to this organization for them to give me a fake IQ test. I took it online. I wouldn't. They charge you money for it, I think.

Yeah, you gotta go in person. Okay. For real, you gotta go in person. I'm just saying that smart people who start a club that's meant to make money don't make it so that people can't join. Like, they make sure their pool is as

big as possible. It's like that Who's Who in America book, right? Where you're like, hey, you're listed as one of the top students in America, Taylor. Buy our book for $40. It has your name right in it. Yeah. There's like 50,000 names in that book, hoping people buy it.

Yeah, see, here's a Neil deGrasse Tyson tweet. To all on the Gregorian calendar, happy new year, a day that's not astronomically significant in any way at all whatsoever. And the first reply is some guy going, suck me. That's funny yeah yeah i would not i'd find the smartest science man and i'd blow him and learn all about the mysteries of the universe and while being the best golfer and being the best investor or maybe i would like blow the pope and see if anything's real with that. Ooh, Taylor's agnostic.

A little. Yeah, like if I blow the Pope and my knowledge becomes like, I hope people don't catch on, like then I would know. That's where I wonder sometimes with people like, let's say God's not real, right? Let's just take that and assign it as fact for the purpose of this conversation. That means the Pope is either lying or fooled. And I wonder how...

Wait, wait, wait. Lying about what? The existence of God. I think what he's saying, if the Pope knows or not. I don't think the Pope has come out and said, yes, I speak directly with God in a private room and I see him. Like, he hasn't said that.

That's kind of like the Catholic... But you don't have to say that to make me wrong. He believes in God, right? He tells people that God is real. He tells people that you should pray and that God has rules. And I think he believes in heaven. So, assuming God's not real right we're gonna take that and pretend that that's just true he's either lying or fooled and i wonder which it is

it's he has faith he believes i mean i mean that you could ask the same of your dad right like he says he believes but but they are but is he is he lying or is he fooled i believe he's fooled yeah i could like no one's ever had any like reasonable evidence of god ever right like you know people come back like the the big one is just look around you yes it's all god and it's like even that kid with aids even that kid kid with, well, not that part. Not that part with the botched blood transfusion. It's like, oh, no, he was raped. Did that happen in God's place?

I mean, it would be much better. Like, I think if I had the choice, and like, belief isn't a choice. So that's like, you can't just like choose to believe something. But it would be way better, I think, to be a Christian and just believe totally and be like, yep, when I check out here, I got a dope suite and God's house and they're going to have ping pong and pizza and you don't get fat and you can get drunk off of God's wine. And that would be way more fun to believe and way more comforting, I think, especially in those final years. Yeah yeah i wonder if that's why old people tend to believe in god more what are some of the better afterlives because like like after christianity is that right and is and islam right i don't think

so because the thing about christianity like if you really know your know your stuff you know they're like oh well you won't know any of your family when you're there you'll all just be one of god's children it's like what you mean i won't be able to like live with my grandma and know that she's my grandma and stuff no no it doesn't work where are you getting this from from preachers and oh i was always told that if i go to heaven i'll get to see my dogs again scholars yeah no dogs are going to be there. All dogs go to heaven. The answer they always told us was like, we don't know exactly.

My source is as good as yours. That's true. Yeah. I mean, like Muslims, they get the virgins. No, they only get that if they die like in a jihad thing or whatever, right? I'm not sure.

Or is that an across-the-board thing? It couldn't possibly be across-the-board. There aren't enough women. Right? What do Mormons do? Mormons get their own planet. Did you know that? They go to the Celestial Temple, yeah.

Yeah, they get their own planet, and they get to be the ruler of that. That's my understanding of it based on a three-minute YouTube video that I didn't watch the entire time. Let me read this. Here's a question. Will we be able to see and know our friends and family members in heaven? Will we know each other in heaven?

Answer. Many people say that the first thing they want to do when they arrive in heaven is see all their friends and loved ones who have passed on before them. In eternity, there will be plenty of time to see, know, and spend time with our friends and family members. However, that will not be our primary focus in heaven. We will be far more occupied with worshiping God and enjoying the wonders of heaven. Our reunions with loved ones are more likely to be filled with recounting the grace and glory of God in our lives, his wondrous

love, and his mighty works. God is such an egotistical dick. That sounds so fucking boring. You know what? You're going to spend most of your time just praising me and thinking about my grace and how awesome I am. Grandpa! Grandpa! It's so good to see you because I've been i'm busting at the seams to

talk to someone about how great god is right right let me tell you about the glories of god don't you want to talk ask me about what it was like in the war since i never got to meet you billy no no not at all that let's talk about these clouds i mean or if you like start a conversation where it's like billy how are you what was your life like it's like it was great i had two grandchildren eventually and and i tried to model my life after you and you just hear god like i hear someone not talking about you. Alright, we'll get back to this. God, I gotta clock in at worship work.

I don't even know my commandments off the top of my head, but aren't like three of them devoted to just loving God as much as possible? No idols, do not take the Lord's name in vain. Like, three of them all about God right off the bat. Nothing about rape. Good to know. Don't murder children i'm the 11th commandment they're built for it oh jesus now go now we know god is sean connery i imagine god is sean connery like like sean connery from the rock you know when

he was in the prison and he had the long beard and the long hair and everything. For reference sake, I'll get into that. You know, you're allowed to slap a bitch up here. You know, the 72 virgins thing? Not true. It's a myth. I googled it. It's racist.

So it's even worse than I thought. Yes. Yeah. It's a thing that Westerners have seized upon to mock Muslims. But really, there's just like a passing reference to it that could be interpreted in multiple ways. Yeah, it's about raisins, right? Not on this page.

I can't tell if you're doing. Yeah, that's what I imagine God as. Yeah, that's pretty godly. Right? You know, if I die and Sean connery greets yeah i was right i said it's raisins not virgins yeah who wants 72 raisins that's like two boxes of sun well what you gotta keep in mind is when the car when the quran was written 72 raisins was quite the reward really because you grapes aren't that rare um and in 2000 ago, you get yourself up 72 raisins and come see me.

Because you, sir, are the king of the castle. No, no, no, absolutely not. You would be eating every grape you found just to stay alive. I mean, I've made wine before. You wouldn't have time to dry them out and save them up? Who has that bounty of extra food lying around but a king? I mean, I've made wine before. You wouldn't have time to fry them out and save them up? Who has that bounty of extra food lying around but a king? Yeah, that's true based on, you seem convinced. Based on these things I'm making up as I speak.

Here's a link right here that says it, right there. It has been said that Muslim martyrs will be rewarded with 72 virgins in heaven or paradise, but the growing number of Quran scholars and Islamic theologians have contested its interpretation. Apparently, it's raisins. Dude, being a scholar or interpreter for an ancient holy book would be the dopest job. Like, if it was just like, this is Taylor, the Bible scholar.

What does this verse about beating slaves with a stick mean? Well, it actually means the opposite it means that was a test god did not want you to beat slaves like that and and that's shown in john 1 where it says behold for i am he who would not say that and then they they're not scholars what are they gonna do dispute my authority it's like they can come into me and being like why wouldn't the eagles just fly the ring to mordor and i have to be like well the ring corrupts absolutely and that's why they gave the ring to frodo because he's weak and it took longer for the ring to convert him, whereas the powerful eagle would have been corrupted immediately, similar to if Gandalf had taken it. No, no, because...

That's the actual explanation. No, that's bullshit, and I'll tell you why. Taylor, what do you know about Lord of the Rings? Nothing. Well, just think about it this way. Sam was like, I can't carry the ring, Mr. Frodo, but I can't carry you. And he throws Frodo on his back, right? Same thing with the eagle.

The eagle can't carry the ring, sure. But it can carry Frodo. No, that's why the possession of it is what's going to do it. If the ring is on the back of an eagle, it controls it. How? If the ring is on the back of an eagle, it's going to fall off like 50 feet off of the deck. I think Kyle's bringing up a strong point. And Taylor, did you fully consider

it? Like, how is an eagle carrying Frodo any different than Sam carrying Frodo? Because. Otherwise, my whole scholarly degree doesn't make any sense. Yeah, I don't fucking know. You're right. That should be the number one retort.

But, yay. Eagles do not have fingers. Whence where the ring will be, pray tell. Oh, they have talons. They would drop, they would do what eagles do, or falcons, and they would drop the hobbit, crush him on the rocks below,

and then they would go. Why does the hobbit have to be in their talons? He rides on the back of the eagle. I'm saying the eagle, with its power and with the ring so close, the ring would call to it, as it does. The ring called to Gandalf, trying to get him to pick it up. The ring called to Gollum. The ring called to Sam. The ring called to Arwen. The ring called to Gandalf trying to get him to pick it up. The ring called to Gollum. The ring called to Sam.

The ring called to Arwen. The ring called to Elrond. Like it called to all these powerful people because the more powerful the wielder, the more powerful the ring can be. It called to Ned Stark. Formir. See, this is how religious shit goes. Now I'm buying into my own shit. So now we know.

Taylor's not fooled. He actually believes it. I know. Wait, that's the same thing. Taylor's not lying. He actually believes it. I know. Wait, that's the same thing. Taylor's not lying. He actually believes it. True. Yeah.

I don't fucking care anymore. No? Well, who would you blow? Want to go back and revisit that treasure map of a topic? Hey, hey, hey, hey. How dare you denigrate the questions provided by our wonderful listeners? I thought it was funny. I liked that.

Yes. Yeah. Oh, listener, kudos to you. That was a good one. Patreon member. All my links got fucking kiboshed whenever I closed my shit, so let me re-find those You see, Dane Cook has a 20 year old girlfriend and people were like

ripping on him but really all it means is he's really cool but wait how long has he had that girlfriend for a while more than three years probably two years right probably they started dating on her 18th birthday wink wink

well good for Dane Cook sometimes I find myself asking where has she been all my life 18th birthday. Wink, wink. Well, good for Dane Cook. Sometimes I find myself asking, where has she been all my life, Cook said. And then I realized she wasn't alive for the first 26 years. Did he really say that? Yeah. Oh, good for him.

He is a comedian, yeah. Well, yeah, I know, but not all comedians are self-aware. People are like, you're robbing the cradle, Cook said. I was like, she hasn't slept in a cradle for like nine years max. Yeah. Okay. Good for him.

Okay, I'm 20 years of age and from Ireland. I live with my parents. My mom found a bag with a small amount of cocaine in my wallet, but hasn't confronted me yet. what do i say when it comes up any advice would be appreciated or maybe stay neutral like my brave country first of all you piece of shit because he's irish fucking hang yourself all right you're from a lineage of scum sucking neutral cowards that should have been

that should have been wiped off the earth long ago there's a lot of different groups of people that i think that about but none more so than you you shamrock gilded piece of shit and people that didn't go to numb i like those people they they made a wise decision those are some of the bravest people in the world that stood up and said label me if you will cast your stones spit at me call me a coward but i'm gonna stand up for what i believe and i'm not going to fight your industrial military complex battle with a bunch of forest dwelling people because it's essentially fucking fern gully but for real and fern gully hasn't even been made yet wow anyone else watch fern gully anyone no it's it's basically what avatar ripped off to make uh the most profitable

movie of all time fern gully watch the cartoon you'll like did you say the most profitable the most horrible i didn't hear your word. Profitable. Okay. So if she hasn't said anything, she's probably a little worried about it. So maybe make up a good lie about it, right? Be like, hey, I think you found that stuff that was in my wallet the other day. I just wanted to let you know, like, I've never really done that before, but someone had it and they gave it to me. And I didn't want to do it, but I didn it and they they gave it to me and i really i didn't want to do it so i but i didn't know i didn't know how to throw it away so i i was i was trying to

decide what to do with it it is not if you need to throw away your mom so if your mom is so fucking retarded that she thinks step one of coke use is an individual bag in your wallet then yeah give that a go what you need to do is always be on the offensive. She's Irish. Always be on the offensive. Don't let yourself be on the back foot. Go up to her and demand your cocaine bag. That'll set her mind at ease. This is my cocaine that I bought. Bitch!

Bitch, give me that cocaine! You got my coke, bitch! Yeah, so... Tim Rock Sammy will slap a bitch! Say that you're in it deep and that you need that coke back so that you can do it and defend yourself from the people

who are after you. Yeah, I wish I knew how much coke you had in there. Did you just have a bump? Do you have a few grams? How much coke are we talking about here? First of all, you don't want to be getting caught with coke in Ireland. You guys have some pretty stiff fucking laws over there from

what i know yeah i don't know shit about coke but if it's not that much just don't mention it i've got a question i like this patreon one if you had to start now with your youtube channel what would you do different or would you make the same decisions in the same approach would you actually make your channel 100 the same or would you start a totally different channel with different content? I would start – I would dress up in a Spider-Man outfit and get a female friend to dress up as Elsa and I'd be rolling in it right now. Yeah, yeah. I would get children to dress up as Spider-Man and Elsa and I'd get them to do sexually suggestive things with each other. That segues into a recent,

have you heard about the YouTube ad? Yeah, that's why I said it. Yeah. Yeah. So, um, what,

what Kyle's referencing almost two things is there's one where people are dressing up as Elsa, whatever. And there's another where they're just like, I'll say innocent parents take video of like their nine year old doing gymnastics or something. Right. And then that gets either commented on or re-uploaded by some not-so-innocent people.

And they're timestamping it, like, check this out at 1.46. And at 1.46, there she is, like, spread-legged. Jesus Christ. No, these parents are pimping their kids out for YouTube money. That's what's up. And who could blame them? It's a good deal if you can get it. Alright? You know, it's not honest work, but

it's work. No, a lot of times these are re-uploaded videos. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you gotta have a bit of... An alibi? You know, you don't want to be like, here's my little daughter, Casey. Here's her twat. You know, you can't do that.

They come get you, then you lose Casey. The golden goose is gone. If you want her to keep laying those prepubescent golden eggs, you're going to want to re-upload those. But link back to the source, right? Because they're going to want the behind-the-scenes clips, is what he calls them. That's what he means.

You want to see her opening that easy bake oven interacting with the family you know heading off to school for the first time all that stuff you want to get to know little casey and then you want to find out where she lives you want a case to join maybe maybe wait outside maybe she may find out what her favorite perfect snack food is right this is so wrong kyle. This is ridiculous. Maybe you just want to smell her pillow. You're outside with a big bag of Jolly Ranchers, and you're not looking to do anything bad, right? She doesn't even know that they're not regular Jolly Ranchers.

You're not intending to do anything bad, but of course things always get out of hand, right? Things get out of hand. You lose control. You lose control. And the next thing you know you've just got up just pulp pulp and flesh is just all over your crotch all over your face and and you what do you do then well what do you what do you do then what do you know what you do what you're gonna want is is is

dogs large breed dogs that can consume the body of a small child. Some people say pigs, but people notice if you got pigs. Always be wary of a man with pigs. But nobody is wary of a man with two Great Danes. You feel me? And a lot of property.

So you can let these Great Danes... Why are there shrinky dinks in your dog's shit? There's not. There's not, there's a little great over here. A great Dane can consume 14 pounds of raw flesh in a day. Even more of that flesh has just been violated. Bit of internal tenderization is what i like to think of it as

couple of dogs couple of days no more lock up for woody so this is a whole this is a whole thing for pedophiles to watch videos of children with plausible deniability right is that what this is yeah uh yeah absolutely so the plausible deniability exists on the uploader right because they're just kids like doing somersaults on the couch and stuff like that but then the people watching it will be like go to two minutes and 90 90 seconds that's not even got a link for me uh two minutes and 46 seconds and then you see like that's where the girl finishes her somersault with her knees apart or something like that.

And, um, you know, that's, that's where the kid stands on her head and the little dress, you know, falls down or whatever. And,

uh, these videos that were like plausibly innocent become dirty, uh, pedo material. And, uh, some guys did a video on it and it got to the, not just the front page of Reddit, but like the top of all

of Reddit. And now a couple major advertisers have pulled out until they get this sorted out. Woody never pulls out. No point. There'll be pig food in the morning. That's right. Man, well, because you rape children. That's right.

Man, well, you know... Because you rape children. I don't, though. He plugs the pieces in. I don't. The way you're being a little bit defensive about it really worries me. Hey, I don't... I don't know.

Just to be clear. Why do we hang on me being the pedo? I don't know. Well, because you're the older person and you have that look about you. That's true. I mowed my lawn once. I'm not a gardener. You go that route. I'm a little confused, by the way.

I see you've got a little stubble there and I also saw Jackie before the show. These two things usually don't coexist. Yeah. Just lazy. I'll probably have it shaved next week. I meant to compliment you. Really things usually don't coexist. Yeah, just lazy. I'll probably have it shaved next week. I meant to compliment you. Really? I don't agree. I keep thinking

every time you see the beard, and every time I grow it in, like, whatever, it's six months later, the transition from red to gray is just taking a step further. Farther, I mean. And it's like, this time, they're going to see it the way I do. What if that thing put on seven years

and it never comes back that way? No, man. It's going to get cooler as it gets grayer. Look at Mel Gibson's beard. It looks great. It does not. Mel Gibson's does look great. We enjoy trolling you from time to time, but this is not one of those instances. It really isn't. I think the beard is a

better look from you than the clean-shaven thing. I think that, like, I'm trying to think of who it is that. I think the beard is a better look from you than the clean shaven thing. I think that like, I'm trying to think of who it is that looks better with the beard. It's, oh, Colin Quinn. Colin Quinn. I don't know if Colin Quinn was in this thing a while back and he had a full beard. It de-ages you. It makes you look quite a bit younger. I don't know about that, Kyle. Even if there's some gray in it, I think it's very distinctive. I think it's a handsome look. I think that you are a point more attractive with the beard. That's my honest opinion.

I think it's a great look. I don't see it the same way. Actually, I don't see Colin Quinn's that way either. Is it real certain? Maybe if I add 2019 to this. I definitely don't see it de-aging him uh i think they de-aged him in the movie oh that could be like like like and that was just part of what movie was he in i don't remember i was watching a podcast or xm radio show the other day and they were maybe sam and jim talking about it. It wasn't Red State, Blue State. That's what's on my screen.

I don't fucking know. Colin's the best on those radio shows. He's so fucking good. He was always the best, the top guest on ONA. I'm sure he's great on Jim and Sam, even though I never listened to Jim and Sam. It's weird how sometimes

these old comedians, they don't have a great hour special in them but they are gifted at being witty and professional communicators you know yeah they're comics they can make anything funny uh yeah but it's a different skill than like it seems like almost you need to be a young guy to do a great hour you know on your own and carlin uh it's a fair counter but uh a lot of i think what you could say without a doubt that a lot of times after someone does one or two great out great specials that's all the specials they have for them in their life the rest won't be as good and however you know you let them go 15 years down the road and suddenly they excel in an

environment like this one uh adam sandler i I was listening to an Adam Sandler interview on the Howard Stern Show, and he had Rob Schneider with him, and they were talking about the old SNL days. It's like a one-year-old interview, and he asked them about things that got written for Saturday Night Live that never made the show. And he was like, oh, yeah, i had this one bit called james bond hiv and they're like tell me tell me it's like well it goes something like this and it's like my watch

my watch shoots laser beams and can survive in outer space this pin is a rocket launcher but what i wouldn't have given for a condom. The following people need to get checked out. Money pin. Goldfinger. Odd job. James Bond. HIV.

He's like, why did I get picked up? He's like, I don't know. I think it was a little dark. You know, AIDS wasn't that old at the time. That's like the story. I think bill burr on his podcast years and years ago talked about this where he was like man in the 80s during the age scare i wasn't even fucking that many women but sitting there in the doctor's office they scared the shit out of you and i've never been more scared than like the 10 days before i got my aids test back and i was like

goddamn like that really must have been terrible in the 80s. It was the 80s that it was like huge. Now you get it like now. In the 90s is when Magic Johnson got diagnosed with the HIV. Early 90s.

He's still around. Good for him. Of course he has money. I think the scary part about what you're describing... He has money money but if he had gotten it four years earlier he'd be like freddie mercury instead he had money yeah yeah good point um but but like i think what the the real thing to take away from what you're saying is like the scary thing was a 10-day wait to find out if you had aids right is that gone oh yeah Oh yeah. It's like instant. Oh, like a pregnancy test? Yeah. We're about to know.

It's done. The main way, when I get tested, I do it at home. The real wait is mailing it to the lab and getting the results back online. What other tests can they do at home?

All of them. Hmm. All of them. Everything from your testosterone level to every conceivable STD. Um, you take your own blood. Yeah. Yeah.

You, um, you come, it, one of those Lancet's like diabetics used to prick their fingers. You like push a button and it goes click. And then you've got this little card with five, I five little black circles on it like just a black ring and you fill each one with like a droplet a drop of blood and that that fucking lance at first i was like

there's no way i can fill five of these circles up with blood from one little finger prick but it just keeps bleeding if you squeeze it yeah not even squeeze it was the lancet spring activated yeah those are the good ones it pops you good um and then so you send uh you blood on those five circles and uh like a tiny vial of urine like a like it's like the diameter of your finger finger of urine and you mail it in. Everything's all pre-packaged and pre-boxed and everything. So like there's no like embarrassment to be had. And then you just check your account like literally like two days later and the results are in and you get and it gives you this whole thing and like list every. The more you pay, the more STDs you get.

So if you just wanted to get tested for one thing. I wouldn't pay anything at all. Of course you wouldn't. Unless you were suspicious. No, because you said the more I pay, the more I get. It's a terrible deal. Oh, no. The more stuff you get tested for. I get a $420 test because that's everything.

That's absolutely everything conceivable. And then it just comes back. Negative, negative know negative negative negative negative and you've got your result yeah that's i feel like this um it's a yet another thing in our world where you sort of remove the specialists the one-on-one to a more efficient volume business model. Right? They did. Yeah. There's a I don't mean to talk about politics, but there's a presidential candidate right now. Is it Andy Wang? Do you know the Asian guy who wants to

do universal basic income? No. He's probably not Andy Wang. Let me see. He's Asian. He looks like an Andy Wang wang his name is general so damn good chicken uh his name is i've got his picture in front of me oh andrew wang i think andrew yang with a y so anyway um this guy wants to do universal basic income and here's the thing. So when the country started

talking about medical care for everyone, like it's sort of a government service. One of my things that make me like it, I don't necessarily love everything about it, but one of the things I like about it is it opens up the door to entrepreneurship. When you need your employer to buy insurance, I probably spent like 26 grand a year in insurance. And if you have that issue facing you, it locks you into your employer. It stops you from starting your own business.

It stops you from maybe even being able to switch jobs. You never want to spend a minute unemployed. You're worried about that. Especially pre-Obamacare, when there was a day-long gap. Your pre-existing condition problem just went out of this world. It was a big issue. Universal basic income. He's talking about $1,000 a month, right?

So it's not what you can live on. It's not like you can just stay at home and do nothing or maybe at home. But maybe your parents told me to say. But his thing is people are going to stop at $12,000 a year, but it frees them up. It's a little bit of a safety net to allow them to pursue their entrepreneurial spirit. And when I heard it, I was like, huh, I wonder if that's true. Like how many people would follow their passions and be better at what they do? How many people would take a flyer on a business? passions and be better at what they do? How many people would take a flyer on a

business? How many people would not feel so locked into their current position if they had a little bit of a safety net at the point of $12,000 a year? No? Yeah. I suppose so. I don't know.

It was an eye-opening talking point to me. I hate this camera freezing. I'm going to get a new camera. I'll have a new camera by next week. We'll see if that fixes the thing. What are you going to get? I'll get the same one. Okay.

Which one is it? Let's see. It's the Logitech, I don't know, the 1080p Logitech. Right. Yeah, they used to be thought of as the best ones. Yeah, I like the form factor it fits on it goes on my tripod and uh okay let me get the same one then yeah yeah i i changed mine to be the ryzen one razor one maybe it's razor one where it has that like ring light around it and uh it's a

flattering light but you have to look at it. Some plus and some minus. I'll get a new one. I don't like this freezing. If that doesn't fix it, then I'll see if I can wiggle. I'll disassemble my computer and put it back together again, I guess, because sometimes that fixes things. Well, you were visible for most of the show. Yeah, yeah. I guess we're getting close to the end now. I'm trying to think.

I'm trying to think. I'm trying to think. I had another thing. Oh, I was going to talk about liking Apex, but we kind of covered that a little bit. I really do like Apex. It's a very fun game. It's very fast-paced. Can you imagine a mechanic that solves

the second mouse gets the cheese problem? Yeah. When you wipe a squad, your shields shields uh instantly fill up like like the act of killing them instantly heals you um and then you would be a real monster at chaining kills together um now now currently look i i know you're watching sandy and and and uh um extra um excuse me x scout and i'm sure they're very good. They're good at everything. But the great players are able to do things that allow them to heal very quickly.

I'll see them, for example, if you loot a dead body and you grab a shield off of it, even if that shield had been reduced to nothing or essentially broken in the encounter that killed that individual, you putting it on gives you a full shield. I've seen them do that too.

Yeah, they get it. They'll kill a guy and they'll just grab his armor instead of the one they're wearing because it comes on full. Right? Yeah, exactly. And, um, but, but I don't know, maybe the mechanic that I just described where every time you kill someone, you get a health boost. That would make the best players absolute monsters, and it would make the middling players really get their shit pushed in.

I play with... Oh, a dude did that. I play with Spider Pig, the guy that used to live in the garage from our Hangouts. He is very good at the game. Very, very good at the game. He's probably the second best. We jokingly posted the ranks of all the players in my Discord the other day at the game.

And I started referring to people as number four and number five. People didn't care for it. But I think that my friend Klaas... My girlfriends really hated it. But yeah, they... they shut up number 27 your tits look cross-eyed um so they uh yeah they didn't care for it very much but um yeah spider pig is probably is number two uh i consider him to be the second best uh player that i know at that game the best is probably midi schmitty no uh the best is class um and uh midi is probably number five or six or seven somewhere in there that's good he's okay he's getting better he's been playing a lot um you

know i'm sure he's improving but class haven't do i know class at all uh no i don't think so he's from new zealand. He's from New Zealand. He's from the land of Mordor. But he's not that guy from New Zealand who goes to the hangouts? No, no. He doesn't do any of that stuff. How about the guy that does the cosplay? Is he playing Apex with you?

We had a bit of a falling out. He got mad the other day uh about some comments that were made about him in the discord and he abandoned he left the discord well that's sad well he's look i i like that guy um but as a person but sometimes in like interactions he can be a little anti-social in some ways. I'll tell you exactly what happened. This is going to be an am I in the asshole kind of thing. On the show? Yeah, I'll do it right now.

Okay. Because it's nothing bad. I don't feel like anybody did anything bad, but he reacted, I felt, strongly. Did you call him a pedo for 15 minutes? No. 15 minutes. Try eight yeah yeah fair point so um he you gotta keep in mind this is 20 dudes who play video games who are aged

20 to 30 or 32 i guess or yeah there's probably older guys in there uh and and we rip on each other it's it's a lot like like they make fun of me and i make fun of them it goes back and forth and we all have a big laugh about it well this guy said something to the extent in the chat of like and this is gonna sound a little boring at first but it's going somewhere he was like ah what should i get for dinner a meatball sub or a pizza and chiz tried to have like a genuine conversation about comparing the pros and cons of the two and the guy was rude to chiz out of nowhere in kind of a not funny way i don't remember exactly what he said okay but but he chiz was like ah come on a bad meatball sub is better than than pretty good pizza i'd go meatball sub is better than, than pretty good pizza. I'd go meatball sub. He's like, no one asked you.

It was like, Oh, well, okay. And, uh, somewhere along the way, and it doesn't sound funny,

but it really was at the time. Someone said, well, maybe we'll just call you meatball from now on. Like, like, like, and we started calling him meatball.

And he was like, no, my name is not fucking meatball. And I have the power in that discord to rename people oh no so so i named him meatball but he doesn't know he's meatball until he posts the next comment in the chat and then all of a sudden meatball steps in and it was like when they named george costanza coco no you're coco no i'm t-bone i'm t-bone no you're coco from now on and he really had a fit and immediately left the discord like he's gone and we were like what the fuck was that and so then like chiz talked to him and he came right back

10 minutes later well then like midi and a couple of the other younger guys start fucking with them a little bit and they're they're saying stuff they're you know they're calling a meatball right they're posting meatball gifs they're just like like they find gifs of like a meatball jumping rope but it's a spaghetti noodle they're jumping rope with like little jabs meatball doesn't mean anything it's not like they called me meatball in school. This is a gentleman who would benefit from being thinner. That's meaner than anything you said. No, no.

That's why meatball hurt his feelings. That's not why meatball isn't a fat thing. Yes, it is. It definitely sounds like a fat thing. Yeah. No, that's a fat thing yeah no that's a fat thing and that's why he was uh sensitive i i i i would love to hear his take on it i bet that's not the case but then i think somebody started mentioning that in the area that he lives a lot

of pets have gone missing you know and and and started me started linking youtube videos um that were like cat found mutilated and hung from tree and insert his hometown and it's just fun jokes okay well anyway he he got real upset and he left the discord forever and i guess he's not coming back how many days ago was this it's was like five, six days ago. Something like that. It's early to say he'll never come back. No, it's been a week. It's been a week.

No, he's not. He's left before for long periods of time, though, to be fair. But that had nothing to do with being mad at us. He was just trying to get his life in order. So, you know, I like that guy. Nice enough guy. I got nothing against him. I enjoy playing video games with him.

And if you're having a normal face-to-face conversation with him, so to speak, he's fine. But he can be a bit antisocial in the chat. And we've had other guys that are like that. Explain to me how he's antisocial in the chat. Because really, I think we're determining whether

or not he should have played a lot. You guys were victimizing him. and the question everybody everybody gets victimized like like if you saw the amount of of like stuff in there calling me gay because i i think this female uh streamer is attractive who's most people don't find to be attractive it goes on every day all day anytime someone finds like a michael cera gif because they think she looks like michael cera gif because they think she looks like michael cera they're constantly calling me gay like there's constantly referencing like stuff

about that and picking on me and making fun of me but i laugh it's funny you know like like everybody in there gets ripped on like you're not sensitive to that right i get called gay a ton too mostly because of the the girl with the um belly hair and the percent gay thing i did like nine years we get ripped off for everything i get ripped on but i'm not sensitive about gay no one really thinks i'm gay gay it's not that bad like it's it that one doesn't hurt i'm pretty bulletproof about the gay thing you are too but you might not be as bulletproof about meatball if you know you struggled with your diet no they've um No, they've called me fat. When I looked a little fat,

they've called me all kinds of awful things. They joke about me going to jail or all kinds of stuff. That's how, in my experience, that's how guys my age kind of rip on each other and sort of build a community of friendship. Everybody gets picked on, and there's no exceptions like there's guys in there with like all kinds of issues in their personal lives physical things and uh and you know maybe they lose their job maybe like a

parent kicked him out of the house like pick on people with the meanest shit that you can because it's funny and and he's the only one that that really it's sort of the like you can't take the heat get out of the kitchen kind of thing and and like that's fine because like like that's just how we have fun with each other i mean there's only 20 of us there's only like 20 of us in there and uh that's just uh that's just the nature of our little of our friendship with with one another i like all those guys a lot we play various video games together when we're playing rust i could get like a dozen of them in there and a dozen of us will play when we play apex obviously it's three of us and you know but i play games with all those guys i like them a lot

apex is interesting because it like and a lot of memes have been made of this yeah like the fourth guy gets gets kicked out that caused a lot of drama every other game you play in a group of four right like like kata's six but you can play with four and some of the game modes and left from the battle royale it's four vermentides four battle your house like four is a normal team size and suddenly people are figuring out if they're the fourth yeah yeah um i'm i'm not the fourth. It's so funny we're talking about this because I can't even say it. All right, I'm going to say it. I'm going to say it.

All right, so Middy won't care. So I'll take, Middy was the fourth. He's number five, really. Carry on. Middy was the fourth when Apex came out that kind of got removed from the group. And another member of the group kind of doesn't like playing with Midi so much.

He's like, you know, I feel like me and I are personalized clash. You know, I'm happy to talk with him in the chat and everything, but I don't think I want to play video games with him anymore. And so I get in these scenarios where a lot of people seem to want to play games with me.

And so I'll get simultaneous messages when I appear online from like two different groups of two. And one of them was Middy and another guy. And the other one is my friend Klaas and another guy. And I wanted to play with Klaas. I had told him earlier that I would play with him like hours and hours before. He's in a weird time zone being from New Zealand. And Middy sent me this long message that was like, if you don't want to play with me, hours and hours before he's in a weird time zone being from new zealand and midi sent me this long message that was like if you don't want to play with me that's fine just don't ignore me i'm not fucking stupid ghosting is the most immature thing you could do

i'm going to take some time to reevaluate things and get my life in order because this is this is frustrating and so my class just sent me that copy paste and see this is a perfect example of how like mean like we are with one another like like you know like like like that's some mean shit and but mean shit is funny mean shit is funny and and i like people that can like have it roll off their back you should see the shit people say to chis it's hurtful it's cruel it's dark you know where i draw the line a lot is is the guy there right like if you talk about a guy behind their back that's i'm not really that cool with it if you're busting their balls to their face then you know it's a friendship thing that's how guys yeah yeah it's it's it's in an all chat you know it's in front of everybody that that's how shit goes down um that's that's how shit goes down it's it's in front of everybody yeah taylor is he an asshole

for calling the meatball meatball after he clearly displayed that he was sensitive to and i by the way i certainly didn't mean it he shouldn't have just he shouldn't have shown that he was sensitive to it ideally like if he would have just agreed and amplified, it would have been done immediately. I didn't mean it as a fat thing at all. I don't think he's that fat. He's been running a lot and biking. That's cool. I think he's maybe 20 pounds

overweight, but a lot of people are 20. I don't think that's a... I don't care if you're 20 pounds overweight. That's normal in America. I'd be happy to lose 20. You're skinny if you you're 20 pounds overweight. That's normal in America. Yeah, I'd be happy to lose 20. You're skinny if you're not 20 pounds overweight here. I honestly don't think of him as a fat person.

Obviously, he could lose 20 pounds, and everybody could lose 15 or 20 pounds pretty much unless you're really, really fit or skinny. But I didn't mean it that way, and I don't think he took it that way and if he did then i i truly do apologize to that guy uh if he's listening or anything hmm yeah i wouldn't call him fat because taylor are they the asshole for pressing meatball after he clearly displayed he was sensitive to meatball or is perhaps this gentleman just

too sensitive and was never going to survive in this group? No, I mean, Kyle said he's left before. So, I mean, he shouldn't have showed that he was sensitive to it and it would have went away. But yeah, just like razzing and them making a joke about his choice of dinner, I don't think that's out of line. And if he shows shows don't call me meatball i hate meatball what's everybody gonna do call you meatball like that's just like base

all right chef boyardee take it down and now yeah it's just gonna spin into new things whereas if he had initially said like if he had like changed his own name to meatball first the the little joke would have died like i mean well there's nothing to latch on to here okay yeah but i i do hour-long bits where i pretend like i'm spider pig's grandma who is incredibly slutty and racist and i i do a voice and i call it granny pigbert and and she says things about like oh that big buck next door he put a fat load into granny's dirty pouch oh my folds were swollen that day oh they was weathers originals was just spilling out of my little buttonhole while it pounded away. Your granny lacks, your grandpa lacks to watch, though. It's moments like this that I remember.

My mom watches this show. He's watching me take that big black rod, and he's singing ivory and ebony. Oh, yeah, Granny Pig Bird lacks it. She don't like the Jews, though. You sound almost like the pedophile from Family Guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Her Pig Bird likes it. She don't like the Jews, though. You sound almost like the pedophile from Family Guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Herbert.

I growl from Herbert. He has whistly asses. I can't do the whistly asses, but I got a whole box full of popsicles in the cellar. Why don't you call me back, you piggly little son of a bitch? Yeah, I love that. That's my favorite line. Get your fat ass back here, you piggly son of a bitch. Get your fat ass back here.

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