S13 EP29: That's the end of that anecdote
00:00This episode is presented by Tui.Look, you've got to love a family holiday, Josh.Oh, you've got to love it. Who wouldn't love it, Rob?You know what the problem with the holidays is, right?You don't get enough of them. That's the problem.Exactly. So you need to make the most of your holiday, which is why Too-E gives you more.So that's got to be easy booking for incredible destinations with amazing hotels that offer all the things you love.Perfect beaches, mouth-watering food, on-site splash parks, wellness centres, swim up suites, and fun stuff for the kids.
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00:40Get more from your holiday book nowand discover the Tui smiles reward clubat tui.com.Atoll and Abta protected.Hello, you're listening to you.It looks mad with you,that like that, Chuck.Hello?
00:59Leave that in.Yeah.Got to.It was the angle of the legs and pizza socksThat was fineI didn't bother me, it just made me look at itLet's do the intro like thisOkay
01:11Hello, you're listening to Parentin'L withBetty, can you say Rob?WorkAnd can you say Josh?JoshWidicumWittickumOh
01:26Good girlCan you say byeIt's very cute babyThere we goThere we goShoes offShoes off, why notWe're comfortable with each other
01:36You always have to do shoes offafter a little. I remember we did a long day and Sean Walsh came inand shoes off, no offence, implies to meyou've slightly given up on the day. No.It implies that I'm comfortable. You're comfortable?I'm not. Should I go shoes off? Yeah.Trousers off? Trousers off is too much.I don't think it is. Should we do this? Oh, shoes off is not.
01:57My thighs are too thick and my pants are tooto snore. It would be horrible. Whereas I'd be fine.I'm basically wearing a skirt. Hi Rob Joshand Michael.Here's our two-year-old daughter Bettygiving it her best go at saying your names.Her older sister Etta was quite confusedabout what we were asking Betty to do
02:15until we explained that Rob and Joshare people in the photo in our kitchen.What?We bought Etta to a parenting hell book signing shoes tooand have proudly displayed the photo of Ettagiving the middle finger behind Josh and Rob's smiling faces ever since.Fair enough.We've now gone full circle putting names to faces
02:33just in time for Etta's favourites herestrictly come dancing coming back to the TV.She's loved your first show, Josh,and gave you a 10. Lovely. Keep podcasting, keep dancing.We love it all. Fran Lee, Etta, Betty,from...Franie Lee? Franie Lee. From Brodley?Broadstairs in Kent.
02:53Oh! Marelli's ice cream down there.Unreal. I love Broadstairs.You've been to Broadstairs? Yeah, it's beautiful.It's nice, isn't it? So nice.Very nice. I once did a gig in Broadstairs,and the Comper...his head on a metal beam and cut it open and almost collapsed in the break.Oh.
03:13Okay.So there we go.Right.And that's the end of that anecdote.I've got anything on any town you want.Give me a town, I'll tell you.Ramsgate.Not been.
03:22Okay.Lincoln.Lincoln.I want...You did that a politician then?Lincoln.Lincoln.Yeah.
03:31Lincoln.I'll give you some clues.Drew Hall.Oh, yeah.know it wellI oncegot lost on a run in Lincolndid you? There you go
03:42there you gogood place to run flatno quite hillynoyeah it isit's notLincoln she's known to be flatI wish you tore my bloody legs
03:51becauseokaystowbridgeumnot beenmarket Draytonso let's get on with the emailsgo on
04:03hi Rob Josh and MichaellisteningI think of a recent episode where Rob talked about coincidences and thinking he might be psychic.Yeah, I think I've got an extra sense.Yeah, do you?Yeah.I can pick up an energy.I get a feeling.
04:18How would you rate yourself on the Woo Woo-W scale?Zero to 10?I'd say I was zero on Woo-Wu.Yeah.As I've got older, got slightly more spiritual, maybe around the three.Like, oh, I feel like there's something out.I think you're a five to six on Woo-woo.Yeah, no, but let me finish.
04:39I think I'm about a three on actual spirituality,but after paying attention to my special powers,yeah, it's pushed me to six, seven.Your ESP.And that is me having to accept the fact that I have special powers.So, I don't remember this, but it was related to a blue tech discussion.Right.Here's my more than just a coincidence story.
04:59Okay.I was on a train traveling to Ream with tours booked by Verve Kleco and Tattinger.Oh.To pass the time, I listened to a current at the time parenting hell episode where Rob talked to our recent holiday that included a stop in Ream and a visit to two wineries.Yes.You're probably thinking, well, that's not really much of a coincidence.But the thing is, I live in New Zealand.Right.
05:27Sorry.I travelled to the other side of the world to be there, having booked the tours months in advance, sitting on a train, listening to a, in quotes, parenting.podcast that basically listed my day's itinerary was like being in the twilight zone.Oh.I actually paused the episode and made my mum listen to make sure I wasn't hallucinating.Wow. Okay.Coincidence or maybe Rob does have some sort of exosensory perception.I wouldn't file that under my special powers.
06:01That I'd call a coincidence.Would you?A good old-fashioned coincidence.Do you think?Well, yeah, I mean, it's not like I went to some of that niche.I literally went to the first place on the way through France.Bless you.Sorry.
06:18Bit sneezy.I have a bit sneaky.Do you know what English people go, oh, a bit sneezing.Oh, bless you, move on.Americans got, my God, my allergies.Oh, yeah.They're obsessive allergies.Yeah.
06:29My dust.My allergies.Yeah, I don't know.I don't think that's a part of my,I accept I do have special powers,and that's just something I live with now.Yeah.But as once great philosopher,
06:44um,so you didn't start of Ebenezer good by the shaman?No,no,what I was going to say is with great power comes great responsibility.Oh, okay.Peter Parker's uncle,Uncle Phil said that.
06:57He did.I think his name's Uncle Phil.Now that's the Fresh Prince of Bellet.It was his uncle.Michael?Uncle Ben.And then Uncle Ben got shot on.But it wasn't the man that did rice.
07:12It wasn't.That's Uncle Ben's.That's Uncle Ben's.Uncle Ben's.But I don't know if Uncle Benz is his name or that's be pluralized because of his rice.Right.Okay.Why is loads of rice rice and what is one grain of rice?
07:25We stoned.Hey, it's just part of my power.Just part of your power.Right, here we go.Temporary permanent.first time emailing I had to email you for this feature our bath plug was one ofthose that pops up and down one night I don't like those ones no do you know I don'tlike those ones no because they're too easy to accidentally pop up pop up with your
07:48butt with your butt what have you got on a chain old school no I think we have gotthose ones all right but you don't like that you'll be bathing your child yeah andthey'll just move on to they're not thinking and suddenly yeah you've got a half of emptybath. 100% I totally agree. Yeah. Okay, can I get back to? Yep. Yeah, go on. Sorry, I was just tryingto give added value. Absolutely, but I didn't know when the value had ended. All begun.No, I didn't say that. Okay, anyway, one night the spring broke, we couldn't fix it. Beingparents of a boy, bath time was non-negotiable. What? What? Let children, girl childrenfester. Not for you, girl.
08:31Now, I didn't know what to do, but when I came up to, can I say something?Now, I think she means that he's a messy player.So he's a boy, so he's skidding around on his knees.Yeah, but can I say something?Now, as a parent of two girls, I don't want to be like, you know, triggering parents of boys.Speaking of a parent of two girls.I think sometimes, like, people that have got boys are a little bit like, oh my God, you wouldn't understand because I've got a boy.And I'm just like, are they busier or do you just excuse them?
09:01Dickesh behaviour because they're boys.Well, actually, if a girl wasdoing that, you'd go, don't do that because of patriarchy.Am I right, ladies?Sorry, I'm just being an ally.Your response?Well, if you want nagging, then I'll have two girls.I'm right.
09:18Sorry, what are you doing?Misogyny.Yeah, bit of fun.Bit of added value.Bit of value.Right, anyway, I didn't know what to dowhen I came up the stairs.My husband had run the bath.
09:29I thought he'd fixed a plug and congratulated him,but in fact, he'd used the top of aplastic ice cream cone from our son's toy kitchen.It fit perfectly.Oh, here we go.I can't remember how long ago this was, but we now have another son who is eight months old.We are still using a plastic ice cream top as our bath plug.Perhaps if this email gets read out, it would prompt us to finally change it.
09:49Chauvonne leads.This is the thing about temporary permanent.Yeah.You're never going to get around to changing it if it works.Yes.Because all these people emailing in have got kids, they've got busy lives.Yeah.When are you going to go, oh, I should get around to change
10:05that thing that's not causing me a problem?I've got another temporary permanent, I forgot about.Yeah.We've got like, in our garage, there's like,you know, if you need to get, like, power to somewhere outside or something,you have like a tube and they pull it through.So what?So we've got a bit of a back bit of a house that if we want to at some point,
10:28we could extend into.Yeah.Right, a little old stables thing, yeah?and when they had the house done,they built this sort of tube thingthat power cables could be dragged throughso that then we could,if we get permission, we could put it in there.
10:40But there was a,and they covered the end of it,but it was like with masking tapestopped water getting in and stuff, right?So it wouldn't matter if all got down,but then water was getting downbecause the masking tape went a little bitand it made it a bit smelly.
10:53So what I found wastwo plastic pint cupsthat I just put in each end.There we go.And now it's,the pipe's still there for if we need,it if we do the word but it stop the smell there we go temporary permanenttemporary permanent do you want to have a temporary permanent yeah hi rob and josh and
11:09Michael who sex you relatable trio my temporary permanent is um the envelope in myannoying living room door the door makes a weird noise with any draft clearlyneeds to be tightened or something but as me and my husband are shit at thei why we temporarily put in an unopened letter to stop it moving nine monthson and we both still put the letter in the door when we close it oh my god so theydo this every day. Sorry, say this again.So basically, when they shut the door,it's rattling in a draft. If they
11:37put this letter in, it stops to rattle.I thought it was wedged in.Do you? No.Every single time after they open or shut thedoor, they wedge it in.Oh, my words. So this is nine months in,and every time we open the door, we put the letter inlike it's normal. We get strange looks
11:53from friends when they come around, but hey-ho, itdoes a trick. Weirdly, we have never openedthe letter. Love you both,Josh and Rob. I saw you both in Belfort.You were hilarious. Thanks for love. Kathy.And here isthe letter.Oh, yes, please. We'll put that on the video.
12:10Nationide bank letter.Yeah, make sure we don't do them.Right. Do you want to do one?You like the niche kid stuff, didn't you?What's the niche kid stuff?Oh, I love this, yeah.My nephew's obsessed with King Charles.Do you know what I'd hate to be?
12:25A royal.It looks fucking shite.Oh.Just absolutely.dog shit.Oh my God, you have to wearshit clothes.Do they choose those clothes?
12:35You wear shit clothes.Uncomfortable clothes.You don't want to go to.How oftendoesPrince Williamlook at his diary and gofucking get in.
12:48Today's going to be brilliant.They seem toenjoy the Royal Variety performancewhen I was there?Like, think about it.Like, even if you're goingto the FA Cup final,you're not going to the FA Cup final
13:00in a fun way.now you've got to watchJustin VillarA bit of funSave it for the footballCome onSorry, save for peopleCan I ask you a question
13:09YeahAre you IroniteIs that what this is all aboutWhat's the one above knighthood?Well you go OBE or MBE firstDon't you?Would you take one?Yeah
13:18A bit fun on itWho do you thinkDay out of the middleOf the people we knowWho's the most likely to get oneAre they're going to be all over Romish?Yeah I think100%
13:26I'd be surprised if he hasn't been offered oneWithin five years100%He doesHe's run the marathon for charity.He does loads of...He loves people on the BBC.He does loads of BBC.
13:36I think I'm too much of a risk for him.I'd love to disagree.What?You think I'm too edgy for the royal family.That's what I'm saying.I think I'm too much of a risk.I said I'd love to disagree, but I can't.Right, okay.
13:49Sorry, yeah.Yeah.I think you'll get one before me.No, I'd turn it down.Did you?No, I didn't.I would.Would you?
13:57What?Just say that I could tell people I'd turn it down.I think it'd sound cool.No, I think I'll just gobble it upGobble it upGobble it up. I can give me one of them.I'd quite like to do it when it's William or Harry though.It's not going to be Harry.
14:10No?He doesn't do that anymore.He might start his own awards.So, yeah, no, but I'd have taken a real, real weird routeif I'll win something at the Victus games.No, but it won't be Harry.But even, no, because if say William,so it happens to William,
14:28Harry can't beI know it goes to William's son nowdoesn't it? Yeah. Oh so it goes all that waySo even if Prince Harry was still involvedIt would still have to goCharles William, George and thenLouis, CharlotteOh yeah then Charlotte
14:45RightDid you do what things they're into?YeahWhat was it? Oh we never finishedWe ended one sentenceKing CharlesWe've said the words King CharlesRight
14:57My nephew's obsessed with King CharlesHe learned both verses of God Save the King before he was two years old.I've got to blame the parents.And learned Zadok the priests from watching the coronation on repeat on YouTube.I feel like they've pushed this on him a little bit.What two-year-olds are asking for that?He had a photo of the King in his pile of family photos,a life-sized cardboard cutout of King Charles at his second birthday party
15:22and would dress as a grenadier guard at every opportunity,including a bare-skin hat.Wow.Please never stop the podcast, Hannah.I would love to, hang on,could you let's know how he got into King's...Because that's cool, but like...It's not cool, but I like it.
15:45Today's episode is brought to you by Halib Orange.Now, you probably know them for kids' vitamins,but these days, they're looking after grown-ups too, Rob.Well, someone needs to look after the parents.Exactly.Multi-vitamin softies for them.Adult multivitamins for you.One for me, one for you.
16:00Halib Orange supports everyday performance.It's the little wins.For example, Rob, in our house.Do you know what we do, Rob?Yeah.We've got into timing my daughter's hair brushingbecause she likes the competition of it.It becomes its own little win and then she does it quicker.
16:14In our house, Josh, we're up early.Breakfast, hair brushed, shoes, bag, car, school run, done, bang.Whatever everyday performance looks like for your family,start bright with Halib Orange.Dear Rob, Josh and Michael, this is Solidarity or Solidarity or Solid Karen.I heard a story about a couple.went for a night hour and hired one of their children's daycare mind as to babysit.The lady in question is Spanish.
16:41Story took place in Ireland.They told them she would need to leave at 7.30 as it was the night of the World Cup final.The couple organised for the granny to be there to take over at 7.30pm.But for whatever reason, she got delayed by half an hour.The Spanish babysit, a true to word, left at 7.30 to watch the football,leaving a 5-year-old and a 2-year-old alone in the house.I have no info on whether the kids were in bed slash safe in a car.is this acceptable in your country's in a World Cup final?
17:11If not, under what circumstances, would it be acceptable?It was a bad World Cup final.She wouldn't have missed anything.No, well, you can't.I don't want to be a swear to, but you can't predict that.I don't want to be on the sniff for an OBE here,but you cannot leave children unattended.Yeah?
17:29Yeah.Have some respect, yeah?Yeah.And as a charity fundraiser, I'm going to start slipping in stuff I've done for charity.Mastermind.I haven't done that.Tipping point.haven't done that.
17:42So anyway, sowhat have you on for charity?Catchphrase 50 grand.There we go.The Cube, 50 grand.The Cube.And they don't repeat that much.So why did...
17:50Golf at Wentworth.I raised 50,000 pound for golf.Because the Cube was greatand then it just disappeared quite quickly.Well, also about the ChaseI raised 30 or grand for charity.Yes, ITV. I will bring the Cube back.I'd love to.
18:04I loved the Cube.I want to do family...Okay, I would like to do Family Fortunes.I'd like to do the Cube.Yeah, so.You cut, look, no idea what delayed the granny, blah, blah, blah, blah.The granny, my partner, I've enjoyed debating over it.I'm so I'm curious your thoughts.
18:18You cannot, there's never an excuse to leave.Let me show me that.There's never an excuse to miss the World Cup final.Don't stop because I was going to say that.Yeah, there's never an excuse.Thank you, yeah.If your teams in the World Cup final, you've got to leave to watch it.No, no.
18:30That's what we both are.It's on terrestrial TV.She could have put the kids in bed and then watched,but he didn't start till eight, did it?Now, what time was it on?It's difficult to know.I can't remember it.Yeah, I think the game was on.
18:40You just watch the first half there and then go off to the pub or whatever you're going after.Yeah.To the, you know.To O'Neils.The Taverna.That's Greek, in it?What's a Padaga?Is there a Spanish bar?
18:54I suppose if it's Dublin, yeah.I mean, if she's in Cork, how good's the Spanish-V-Argentinian atmosphere in the pub anyway?I don't know.I'm not going to speculate.No.It could be a thriving Spanish scene.There could be a thriving Spanish scene.Yeah, obviously she can't leave.
19:09that's badI think reallyif I'm being honestI'm still trying to do a punon cork in a Spanish wordbut I cannot think of oneEl CorkioAs in what
19:21Don't knowI need to put porkPork VovoreCork VosCork for this doesn't workYeahUmHave I done a pun that works
19:31Potato BravasWe need aWhat?It is good enough actuallyI will tell you whatThey'll be the judge of that.Yeah.No, no, look.
19:41Look, look.Padron peppers.No, but we've got to stay away from P.We need to tell me the C.Cork.But I'm just working through words that I know that's Spanish.La Cucuracha.What's La Cuccoaccia?
19:53I think cockroach.Okay, good.The Corkoracha.Good.I hope Mark Corcorilla scores.Here we go.Here we go.That would be good, actually.
20:04That would be good.If we'd done that straight off the back, that would be great.And everyone would go, oh, Rob's quick.can he?Corp fabric ass.Five minutes.No, because it's not the same.It doesn't work at all.
20:14Yeah, I imagine Michael's sitting on a couple.Michael?Michael?You've had long time of thing, Michael.If it's not good enough, why don't you chip in?Hammon corkets.Hammond corkets.Oh, yeah.
20:27Not bad, actually.That's not bad, actually.It's quite annoying.Let's change a city.Yeah.Dublin.Limerick.Okay.
20:33Go ahead.The Irish and Spanish language.Don't flow, doesn't?Yeah, they don't really.Yeah, I do there.So that was bad.That's bad.Yeah, we've agreed.
20:41I don't think that...There's no excuse ever.Can I just offer an opinion?Go on.I think 7.30 wasn't enough of a buffer.No, she needed to have said I can do till 5 or 6.Hi, Rob, Josh and Michael.Lease, in a recent episode,
20:55where you discuss weird things kids are obsessed with.My daughter, who is 5, is fascinated by Henry VIII's final wife, Catherine Parr.How old is a kid?She even dressed up as Kathleen Parr for World Book Day.of our reception year.It started, this is good,getting to...Intel.
21:14As loving sixth the musical.Oh, that's brilliant.Have you taken your daughter to that?No.And son.Or son.Yep.And son.
21:22And son.And son.And son.And progressed into a full-blown interestin the surviving wife.Thankfully, live only 20 minutesfrom Catherine Parr's burial siteso we visit regularly.
21:32Regularly?Well, that's enough, in it?Stay sex and relatable, Georgina.Love these.Wow.You know, well, after going to Six Music, it's par for the course.Oh, here we go.There's fast.
21:47Can you actually take that out?Bleak that.Can you bleak that?Can you bleak that? Because you know the thing about a grave?Go on, six feet under par.Actually, six feet under par.Yeah, par.Yeah, golf.
21:59I like golf.Yeah.Normal people with famous names.Hi, Rob, Josh and Michael.Huge fan of the pod.I first found it when I was recovering from a postpartum hemorrhage.Oh, fuck it.Sorry, I needed something silly
22:11to get me out of my own head.Thanks for making me piss myself laughingthrough the highs and loads of parenting.I thought you really enjoy this one.There's another mum in the village where I live...Ha ha, ha.No, come on.There's another mum in the village
22:26where I live called Jackie Chan.I imagine Jacqueline Chan.But you're rolling the dice on Jacqueline.Chan, I.She's actually a really lovely lady.I mean,I don't know.Not.
22:46Apart from,she occasionally runs uprules and kicksme in the head.She's actuallya really lovely lady,see.Yeah, unfortunately,
22:54Chris Tucker follows heraround,shouting at people.She's a lovely ladyand she does so muchfor our community.But obviously,her name is still hilarious.
23:05You never get overJackie Chan.So if she marriedinto the Chan name,I'm not sure.The thing is because it is like a village,I'm imagining sort of likequite a twee middle class lady called Jackie Chan,
23:18which is obviously totally separatefrom the Jackie Chan we know,which makes it funnier, doesn't it?Now, this isn't selectingly a celebrity name,but I thought I'd throw it into the mix.There's a mum in the village.She's called Crystal Poon.What a village.
23:37It's like Stella Street.Mrs Poon.Mrs Poon.I still can't say about laughing.Hope these make you giggle as much as me.Stay Sex Relatable.Anonymous mom in Oxfordshire.Oh, she can't...
23:50I'm not being funny.You've given up your location.Yeah, yeah.With Jackie Chan and Crystal Poon.Miss Poon.Maybe she's anonymous,because she, too, has a hilarious name.Maybe her name is anonymous.
24:03Anonymous.Okay.Beyond Boomer, this is good.Yeah.This is grandparenting.Beyond Boomer, grand parenting.Hi, Rob, Joshua, Michael.My dad's aunt's aunt.
24:13told us this just before she passed away five years ago.It's hot in here, isn't it, Rob?Yeah, it's warm.I think it's affecting our psyche.I want to pour this over my head.I mean, I'm not going to.No.I don't have foolishly to see it, but I'd love to see it.
24:29Should I just do it?Yeah.That feels so good.Oh, that feels so good.I'm actually jealous.Oh, I moved the mic away.Oh, I've got done left.It's going to do it as well in some of the dairy.
24:46That is good.Because you used to wipe water on your face when you started in comedy.I did hear it fizz when it went in my hair.Oh, is it yours?Oh, here we go.Here we go.Just do it.Just doing it.
25:02Oh, that's lovely.Oh, I feel like, oh.Right, let's fucking pod.My hair all frothing up?I feel like a sober Stephen Bartlett.I'm ready to point.It's all white.Oh no, I stinging.
25:22Oh my God.Oh, my God.Do you know what's funny about this?Do you know what's happening in the other room?What?Roy Stewart and Alison Campbell are interviewing the Home Secretary.Shabana Mahmood.Yeah.
25:36Muslim moods out there talking about all sorts.Yeah.My dad's aunt told us.That eyes actually called me down.Yeah, I feel great.We should do that more often.I tell you what, though, when we go through security at the airport,We ain't gonna look like sneaky saskatches.
25:50We look like men with stuff to hide.You look a bit nervous.Okay, that was great though.Great for morale.Yeah, really good.Anyways, I love the way we did that after someone just told themthat us their aunt's dead.Oh, yeah, sorry about that.
26:06Anyway, my dad's aunt told us it's just...She thought the problem is, the moment you say,I feel like you're going to pour this over my head.You box yourself.You box yourself here, haven't you?You've boxed yourself in a corner.Yeah.I might eat a book.
26:17Bring it over.Sorry, okay.My dad's aunt told us this just before she passed away.My goodness.Deepest sympathies.Sorry for your loss.I know.Even to that day, didn't see an issue in what they did.
26:42So this is what the aunt did.My eyes are actually stinging from hair products.If we had a minute of silence now.Do you think people would listen through it or do you than they'd skip?I mean, if you've been so excited to see whether we could do it.I mean, if you've got through the Spanish cork pun section,you could sit through anything.You could survive a nuclear apocalypse.
27:02Also as well, for the people that didn't sit through it,didn't get the water on the head stuff.Yeah.So they've missed out.Don't you know what, fuck them.Fuck them.Yeah.My dad's aunt told us this just before she passed away five years ago.
27:16When their children were very young in the early 60s,they lived in Southampton.but his family lived in Glasgow.Each month they would do the 854 mile round trip weekend trip to it.What?Each month, they would do the 854 mile round weekend trip to visit.So they go there and back once a month.But they would give the kids sleeping pills
27:40and take uppers themselves to get through the trip.They were chemists, so felt qualified to do so.My dad's cousin never knew.They only found out they'd been drugged, a big poor.of their childhood when she told us his story.They wondered why they never remembered the journeypast a certain petrol station.That's awful.
27:58So every month that would happen.Yeah.Keep being sex-relatedable.C-E-R-I.Kerry?Yeah, if you want.Right, should we have another one?Yeah, that's wild, isn't it?
28:09Do you want to have a boomer?I'll have a boomer.Do we do it?Oh, should we do them what's this really about?Yeah.Should we do it for ourselves with the water?Did you feel something?No, I think it was the temperature.
28:23It's been a long day near.The aircon's not quite working.We got a little bit heavy.We got a bit slow.The puns weren't flying.So, we rallied.We were two and down at half time.It's two, too.
28:34So now, let's get that cork puns back out.Let's do a few more.I think cold puns are difficult.Okay, can I have a moment of thinking.Give me some Spanish things.Corcomindi, but they're not Spanish, are they?I forgot the Spanish side of them.Okay, give me somebody who Spanish.
28:47Jose.Corks areas.Again, I think we are, I think we've just conceded.It's three to.We need to.Really thinking of Spanish footballers and musicians.Yeah, Spanish footballers and cork.Corkarella was a good one.
29:03We've done that one.No, he's Portuguese.I think it's impossible to do a Spanish corkone.Oh, the comments will be full of them.Yeah.There'll be a Reddit thread.Hello, Jonathan Ross here.I've spent most of my life watching,
29:28talking about and quite frankly obsessing over films.And I'm Honey Ross,and I've spent most of mine listening to him talk about them.You are welcome.So we thought the perfectly normal and healthy thing to dowas to start a podcast together,and that's exactly what we've done.Yes, on Real Talk,
29:43we cover everything from cinema, blockbusters to streaming hits.We discuss the films we love.And the ones we definitely don't.So what could possibly go wrong?Listen to Real Talk with Honey and Jonathan Ross,wherever you get your podcasts.Hi Rob, Josh and Michael,when you asked for what this is really about stories,
30:01I had to tell you this storythat still infuriates me to this day.Just over two years ago,my wife and I took my daughter,who was three at the time,to the Haberley Trail.It's basically a nice countryside walkwith random interactive things to do along the way.
30:15When you check in on reception,you collect, amongst other things,a wooden ball for the giant marble room.About halfway around the trail.But as it was a busy day,all the balls had gone.At this point,I'd like to mention
30:28there was no depositfor the balls.Just an honesty policy.So this is this thinglike in the countrysidewhere you,they build in a marble run baseand you get a wooden board
30:37it rolls downand the kids follows it roundand you can do a nice walk.Yeah.You just take a ball,put it back.I've never done this.It looks up.
30:44Yeah.Halfway around,my daughter took a particular interestin the giant marble runso I tried to improvisewith a pine cone,but it wasn't working.So he moved on
30:54with a disappointed girl.that sounds like a nightmare.Just along the way, near the giant seesaw, in all its glory,was a wooden ball on the floor.Ah, lovely.I told my daughter to pick it up,and we could go back and do the marble run.As my daughter picks up an unattended ball,
31:09a grown room and runs over to her shouting,that's not yours, give it back.Proceeds to grab my daughter's arm,hold it firmly and snatch the ball out of her handwithout giving her an opportunity to hand it back herself.No, you need to go to the parent.In shock, but furious as to what I just witnessed,I tried to remain calm and explain that there was no balls left in reception,
31:30and my daughter would love to do the marble run.I politely asked if we could have the ball and we would return it to reception.The answer was no, and she stormed off.It's quite bleak, isn't it?Yeah.And we've got another cup of water.We spent the rest of the afternoon awkwardly following the ball snatcher around the trailer.She clutched onto the ball firmly despite not needing it for anything else.
31:53So she wasn't using the ball.She wasn't put in...They'd already gone beyond the marble run.They've gone beyond the marble run.My daughter quite clearly...So you get, like, no deposit,so she doesn't need to keep hold of it to get the money back.Yeah.
32:04She's just walking along holding it.Quite clearly upset from the account was asking every activity.Am I allowed to do the sack down the slide?Am I allowed basketballs to throw?Sounds like a good event, though, to be fair.Yeah.Clothes on?Yeah.
32:18Just need more balls.I've been asking myself ever since why she acted the way she did.I think she's a fucking bitch.Yeah.Bullseye.Well, there's just no...Unless she thoughtmaybe her kids want to do it again later,
32:34but it's just selfish.People are weird, aren't they?Really weird.It's exhausting.I think people take life too seriously.Give me some water.We're pretty chill, dudes.Do you know what?
32:45I think they do take too seriousand I think if people are a bit more like us,there'll be less problems in the world.I suggest three cups of water,we go into the politics room.Okay, so we go into the politics room and we say,guys...Don't worry about stopping the boats,
32:59so stop the podcast, let's get the war out.Let's...This will help.Who do you think would be the most likely to do it out of Rory,Alistair and Shabana Mahmood?I think Alistair,but we'd have to say that we did it really quickly.And then he would get competitive.
33:16And I'll go, I did it even quicker.I don't think Rory and the Home Secretary...Who is her home secretary?Shabana Mahmood.Mamood, yeah.She's also got very...sculpted sharp haircut.And you're suggesting Rory
33:29Stuart hasn't?What I'm suggesting isI saw her inthrough the door and I thoughtshe is, that haircut,there's not a hair out of place.That's not the kind of personwho want to be pouring a cup of water
33:45over their head. Well, I find posh peoplethat went to... They're quite messy.I think posh people likeRoy Stewart, Boris Johnson, Ivo Graham.Yeah. I think they forget they've gothair.It's like, oh, what, that?Yeah, yeah.
34:00You know, it's always, I forget that they've got itand it does, you know, I'm very much awarethat mine's a mess at the moment, but it's like,they're just sort of go, and it's got, it's like,I don't know, do they get it cut or is it just grow once and stays?I don't know, is the answer.I don't know.Well, I think it grows.
34:15It definitely grows, yeah.I think that's, we can be sure.Rory's is thinner, isn't it, than the other two?The other two have got very thick hair.Yes.But Rory's still got that, you know,intentionally unkempt look.Yeah.
34:27But Ivo's hair is really thick.Boris is thick.Boris is thick.Because I went to a university in Canterbury.His hair is thick, I should say.He's a very intelligent.And there was a school called like Kings in Canterbury,which was like a really expensive posh private school.
34:43Full of thick airs.Honestly.All we used to say is, I think the hair is.They've got such thick hair.They've got such thick hair, haven't they?Why have Poshoschow's got such thick hair?Is it so the crown sits well?you'll find out when United
34:56I'll tell you, I'll goWell, Prince Charles, sorry, King CharlesI'll never get used to thatYeah, well, Queen Camilla, no chanceActually, quite right as wellFor all the work she's doneHosted the Royal Variety for no feeYou did?
35:14Yeah, for the charity, another charity riseAnother charity thing, yeahSo there you goSo there you goWhere's my bloody NBA?Well, yeah, another oneWhy don't we end with a blue tack one, Rob?My son's primary school,
35:26Oos also does the blue tack fidget thing.Yes.Similar to the other podcast callers,the kids all seem to love it.Yeah.However, the blue tack situation very quickly started to resemble a sociology experiment.The kids began trading small pinches of blue tech between themselves in return for favors,physical goods or blackmail purposes.
35:48No.Blue male, surely?There we go.Here we go.Put that on your El Cork board.You what?Don't know. You don't need blue tape for cork balls, yeah, it's pins.That's a shame. Just really wanted to get a cork pun.
36:01Yeah, it was good. It was good. Yeah. Put a cork in it, Rob.What, want to play with us? That'll be one pin. It's just a phrase, people say.Yeah, put a pin in it. No, put a cork in it is a phrase.For talking too much. Yeah. Yeah. Is it?Yeah. Put a corgan. Like, shut up. Yeah.Put a pin in it. It will go back to that.There's no blue tack on.Put a blue tack on it.
36:24No, put that up with Blue Tech.That's just an instruction.Want to play with us?Can't believe this is going out.Imagine if we walked next doorand we opened the doorRory and Shabana Mahmoodwere trying to come up with cork puns.
36:42I don't think there are any.And then you'd go.Spanish cool puns don't exist.We're trying.And then you'd go, do you know what?I have got supernatural powers.Yeah.I've managed to transfer my thoughts
36:53through the walls to another room.Where's the Spanish nanny from?Corkdober?What?Cordova's a place in Spain.Okay, in there.Want to play with us?That'll be one pinch.
37:07A bite of the school cake and custard, two pinches.Go fill up my water cup and you can have half a pinch.I'll tell the dinner lady you threw the football on the roof if you don't give me three.Fought again and I'll find you two.All this kind of stuff.Oh my God, this is toxic.The supply of blue tech was controlled enough that it got lost.Is that cigarettes in prison?
37:26the supply of blue tack was controlled enough if it got lost or went through our washing machine to prevent oversupply and rapid inflationthe playground was the trading floor of the stock exchange only the kids understand the value of everything in relation to blue tackstay s and rachel thompson 513 months plumsstead s e 18 plumsstead so i took my daughter's harvester rightyeah and um she went look at this dad and she had a fork in the blue sackin the blue taxLike she was going to eat itAnd I was likeWell take that off there
38:00And we'll change the faultThat blue tax been in your handAll rub around the schoolOn the wallOn the floorDisgustingDo you know whatI bring you to these lovely places
38:10These high high endHey don't youDon't you ever go at ArvesterShould we do small business?YeahHere's small businessIt's now time for small business shoutoutsBrought to you by VistaPrint
38:24Your expert print partnerTo help bring your ideas to lifeFor example, polo shirts, sweatshirts and hoodies.Branded clothing is great for small businessesbecause suddenly everyone looks like part of the teamand you'll never again accidentally ask a customer where something is.Great idea. We should get some, Josh.Oh, yes. We could wear them more show.
38:42Little pH hoodie, so we know what we're chatting about.Should I do one first, Rob?Go for it, mate. Give it to me.Hello, Rob, Josh and Michael.I know Rob loves Lego.So I'm hoping he would love to visitand give a shout out to the Little Brickhouse Cafe in Ramsgate.it's Kent's first Lego Cafe
39:00OhOwner is a sweet artShe offers loads of Lego setsthat you can buildPlus food and drinksThere's special events for adults and childrenWith S-E-N-D and homeschooled childrenCan't recommend highly enough
39:11They're on InstagramAt the Little Brick House CafeLittle Brick House CafeA shout-outThanks KylieHello Rob, Josh and MichaelI'd like to give a small business shout outTo my friend Dave's mobile mini golf
39:24Rental BusinessWhat the Pupp?What the Putt.com.Or what the putt underscore UK on Instagramcovering the south of Englandperfect for weddings, birthdays,corporate events.I've seen Rob putting on Let's Golf
39:37and I'm sure he could borrow a few of the holesfor a bit of practice.Oh, so you have events in the gardenand he brings the golf to youso you can do little putting challenges,chipping, mini golf.You can bring a whole nine-hole golf course.Oh, that's fun.
39:53There you go.We should do that.Who doesn't want that?Vistaprint.co.uk, printyour possible.To get 15% off your first Vistaprint order,visit vistoprint.com.UK and use the code,
40:05parenting help 15.Thank you for watching.We'll see you next time.Hasda la vista.Corky.Baby.Is there any goodby?Oh, no, he's finished.
40:20Oh, look, he's poking out as well.
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