Ep 1408 | We Need to Talk About Homecoming Dresses. Christian Moms: What’s Going On?
00:00 I don't think all of the dresses that we wore in high school back in my day were perfectly modest by any means. That doesn't make it okay. The homecoming dresses to now are at like a whole new level. It is as short, tight, and as low as possible. Is it just impossible to say no? Is it the worst thing in the world for your daughter to look different than her peers? Looking lovely and feminine and radiant can be glorifying to God. But if the point of an outfit is to draw eyes to anything other than the face or the overall beauty of a woman's presence,
00:29 then it's not an outfit that a Christian woman should wear, whether she is a teenager, whether she's an adult. Hey, y'all, welcome to relatable. Happy Wednesday. Hope everyone is having a wonderful week. Well, I am a 37 and a half weeks pregnant, y'all, and I am entering into the stage that I enter into every pregnancy, and that is one of hibernation. That is one where I just want to hide from the world.
01:07 Not because the world did anything wrong, but just because when you get this pregnant, It's just a, one, it's just a lot. It's just a lot to go out in public. It's you're slow, you're tired, you're hot, no matter what the weather is outside, and it actually is hot where I am. So that makes it worse. And, you know, people just, they say things. And at this point, I'm not even offended by it.
01:29 It's more offensive when you're like, say, 22 weeks pregnant and you get comments about how far along you are and if you're carrying one or two and are you having a baby any day. But at this point, you see, say, you hear things and you're like, yeah, you know, I get it. Like, I get it. Someone said something to me. It was a guy at church and he was like, well, I'm just going to, I'm just going to turn you on your side and roll you down a hill. And I was like, you know what? That would be more efficient. That's fine. That would be a lot faster than what I'm doing right now, which is waddling. Some sweet woman, older woman, opened the door for me the other day. And she said, well,
02:07 looks like you're about to give birth any minute. And I'm like, I really hope so. I don't even get offended by the comments anymore because I do feel very large, very in charge. And I feel like people can hear me coming with my waddling and my stomping. And so very soon, very soon, I will have a maternity break, which I am looking forward to. But don't worry, we have been working very hard on the relatable team to have lots of fresh and wonderful content for you as I am taking a break, giving birth to this baby and just enjoying all of the newborn snuggles and the newborn bubble this holiday season.
02:45 So don't you worry, you'll still be able to get your fill of relatable, even when I'm on maternity leave. And I will be able to enter full hibernation mode very soon. All right. I also just want to say thank you to all of you for the response to Anna Kate, our pro-life Christian period, pregnancy, postpartum tracking app. We usually just say period and pregnancy tracking app for efficiency sake. but it also goes through postpartum tracking and encouragement.
03:13 I am so excited for this to be launched into the world very, very soon. I will tell you the exact date very soon, but we are so pumped about it. The response has been absolutely incredible. You can still join the wait list, so you'll be the first to know when it's actually launched into the world before I say on here, before I post on Instagram. Those of you who are on the wait list will know it's totally free to sign up for the wait list and all of your data, all of your emails, all of your information always stays completely private. We're just using that for communication with you. And so I will put the link to the
03:50 wait list in the description of this episode. I've gotten so many questions about this app. What its functions will be. Is it appropriate for teenagers? Who is it actually for, you know, does it go to pari menopause and menopause and all of that? There are so many wonderful questions. And instead of taking the time to answer them all right now, we are going to have to have, have an FAQ on the Anna Kate Instagram that I'll also probably be sharing on my own page this week because you guys have wonderful questions that we want to make sure that you have all the information for. But I just wanted a place.
04:23 I wanted a home for Christian women to be able to get biblical encouragement, to be able to pray with one another, to get scientific and scriptural insight into their bodies, whether you're cycle tracking, whether you're trying to conceive or not, whether you are pregnant, whether you are a postpartum, like it should just be an app where you feel peace. You feel connection to your creator first and foremost, but also to other Christians and also to the body that God created to do amazing things. So you can go to Anna Kate.com also to get more information and make sure you join that email list.
04:57 So you know when it is out into the world that we can start to track what's true together. Okay, one more thing before we get into all of today's stuff. I have a free press debate that's coming out tonight, and it is on Paramount and YouTube, the free press YouTube, as well as on Paramount. If you have the Paramount app, you can watch it. And this was a debate about feminism. And you guys like, no, you, I like debates. I love debates when it comes to particular topics. I'm not the kind of person that's like, I'll debate any time, any day, any topic. It's not that. It's only kind of the lane that I feel very, strongly about and the topics that I feel like I can very clearly speak to. Within the realm of feminism, you've got debates about abortion, you've got debates about gender, gender roles, also economic impact, equality, and things like that. I debated a young woman.
05:53 I think she's Gen Z named Dacia Fox, and I loved it. Like, I enjoyed the experience. You guys know I'm not afraid to go up against really anyone when it comes to the subjects that I'm confident about. And that's why I loved the Jubilee Surrounded experience so much. It was such a challenge, but I just felt emboldened every second of that three-hour debate. And I felt the same way about this. Like, I really enjoyed it.
06:19 And I was so thankful to be able to effectively make the case for my position on these issues. I will just say, and you'll be able to see this when you watch it tonight or whenever you're able to watch it, it was not an unbiased debate. Like the moderator, how she framed her questions, and the time that she allotted to each of us was very biased. It was very obvious that her underpinnings are progressive. She almost couldn't even help herself. And the words that she chose, how she framed the questions,
06:50 what she said, I mean, you'll be able to see how much I got interrupted over and over again by both my opponent and the moderator. And how much I let my opponent talk. because I really do believe in respect and debates. I want the other person to be able to make their case. I think it's really a cheap shot when you're always trying to interject and talk over the other person because you don't like what they have to say. I think that shows intellectual
07:15 weakness. And I never want to, I never want to demonstrate that. And so you'll be able to see it was two against one. The moderator even says at one point, oh, this is just a conversation between me and Dasia. I'll let you in. I'm like, yeah, anytime now. That's great. So you'll be able to see that it's not really a surprise to me that when you're a conservative in this realm, you're just not going to get fair and equal treatment. So I'm not complaining about it. But you should just know. Like I actually did expect better and expect more out of the moderation when it comes
07:47 to this particular platform in this particular debate. And I just, I didn't get that. It was your traditional liberal moderator, liberal opponent against one conservative. But I was out there, y'all. I represented us. And so make sure you guys. go watch it, comment, support, all of that good stuff. All right, that's it.
08:06 That's all the administrative things. Now let's get into the things that we have to talk about today. So we've got quite the convergence of things going on right now. And I happen to see all of these things and think about all of these things separately. And at first, didn't even connect to them when I was thinking through the things we wanted to discuss today.
08:23 But they do kind of all have a through line of how women see our sexuality and how we present our bodies and the messages that we hear also about sexuality in our bodies. And of course, one of the most influential podcast about female sexuality is Call Her Daddy. Alex Cooper, the very famous host of Call Her Daddy, had a Cornell feminist professor Kate Mann on recently to discuss the Cornell 7 case. Now, if you don't remember what happened with the Cornell 7, you can go back and listen to last week's episode. We covered it thoroughly. So we'll break down what Cooper and her guest said what they got wrong and just the glaring hypocrisy in Alex Cooper of all people, even discussing something like this. And then we've got comedian Shane Gillis. He is in hot water
09:12 right now because he made a joke in his S&L opening monologue this weekend about how women dress at the gym. So was this joke actually offensive? Now it's crass. And I would never defend something like that. That's obviously not my style. But deeper than that. Like, does he actually have a point? Or is the outrage overblown? Also, just get ready, just buckle up. Okay, you got to make it to the end because I know, I know that the last section of this is going to be the spiciest and possibly the most offensive. It's not my desire to be offensive, but I want to say something that I think is really necessary to say about homecoming season. And the dresses that many moms, in particular Christian moms that I see on Instagram, are choosing or allowing.
10:01 for their daughters. Like, what is going on? Why does modesty and dignity and loveliness when it comes to how our teens dress not apparently matter anymore? It's just crazy. So we'll get into all of this starting with Call Her Daddy in just a second. Let me go ahead and pause, tell you about our first sponsor for the day. And that is Holy Pals.
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10:55 It's really sweet. They've got their away in a manger illustration this year they also have their very first children's board book that they're selling. It's a rhyming board book perfect for Christmas morning. Sizes run from newborn to adult and the whole family can match. Go to holy pals.com slash alley. Use code alley 26 for 15% off. That's holy pals.com slash alley code alley 26. Okay. So why do we talk about call her daddy? Call her daddy is obviously a secular, progressive, so-called sex. positive, although I have, you know, I take issue with that phrase because I actually think it's
11:39 body negative because how they talk about sex really hurts the body and it hurts women. So why are we talking about it? We're talking about it because it is the third most listened to podcast among women behind the Joe Rogan experience, which is interesting, and crime junkie. All right. So you wonder why women are so anxious today? Why are we so oppressed? Because you are listening to a podcast about hooking up.
12:04 a podcast about murders. Like, if those are the two things that your mind is consuming, you're not going to be happy because you're paranoid and degenerate. Paranoid degenerate people don't lead happy lives. Approximately 70% of the listeners of Call Her Daddy are women. I'm actually like very concerned about the 30% of men who are watching Call Her Daddy. What's going on? More than three quarters are under 35. Okay. So in this particular demographic, under 35 women, this is the number one podcast. And over the years, she's had this podcast for a long time. You know, she used to co-host it. And now she hosts it by herself. And she's had some notable people on. People will defend her by saying she doesn't talk just about sex anymore. She had Kamala Harris on.
12:51 So she's a serious podcaster. Okay, the questions she asks are not serious. Like we're not going to pretend like she is an intellectual force of nature or anything like that. She is a sex podcast. and she still does talk about extremely, extremely crass and degrading, objectifying sexual things consistently on her podcast and has desensitized her very young, vulnerable audience to anything to do with sex. I mean, there is no dignity, no modesty, nothing left to the imagination on this podcast that she has hosted for years now. Okay.
13:29 And I would say she has really led the charge. Like she walked, Alex Cooper walked so Bonnie Blue could run. Like she is the one who has kind of created this space for, yes, empowerment for women means that we need to be as sexualized as possible, as promiscuous as possible to take back our power. The truth is, is that call her daddy encourages Cornell 7 behavior. It does. That is the irony of this.
13:58 In her preaching, as you will see, about consent and about the, you know, the importance of healthy sexual behavior. Like if we look at the sexual experimentation and exploitation that has been promoted by Call Her Daddy over the years, like the very first episode of this show talks about group sex, okay? Trigger warning, we're going to be talking about things that are very explicit. Talks about group sex. She's had multiple episodes devoted to the topic since about sexting and oral sex
14:29 and all different kinds of sex that I will not talk about. about having threesomes and multiple sexual partners simultaneously, consecutively, all of this, okay? So this has been her schick for a long time. Any form of sex is okay. Now, I'm not saying that she has condoned rape or sexual assault, but when your sexual morality is a consent-only model, things get very complicated, very fast. because at the end of the day, all you have is a he said, she said.
15:03 You don't have any kind of moral standard of what's right, what's wrong, if degradation is okay, if objectification is okay, if pain is okay, if exploitation is okay, as long as just someone manages a feeble, yes, well, then we're in a very complex situation that leaves everyone extremely vulnerable to either being assaulted or being accused of being assaulted, no matter what the intentions were and no matter what actually happened. What I think is interesting, terrible, but interesting, is that Jane Doe, her information identity has been revealed since all of this kind of
15:39 blew up online. People found her Instagram and found this is from a journalist on X that she doesn't follow very many people on Instagram, but one of the people that she does follow is Alex Cooper. Now, I can't tell how long she's been following Alex Cooper. but based on what she was saying, based on the text messages that we read last week that have been revealed to journalists reported on by journalists, her saying she's super open-minded. None of the sex stuff was illegal, that she enjoyed it, that she wanted it to do it again,
16:12 at least with two of the other guys, that the pie-fies, her sorority were giving her hard time, but they shouldn't give her a hard time. Like you can see the echoing of Alex Cooper's worldview in how this girl talks. And undoubtedly, that led her to the situation, despite no matter what you think about what actually went down in this room and how much consent was given, the initial agreement to walk into this kind of situation absolutely was inspired by Alex Cooper and her worldview. Okay. So Alex Cooper, though, she has this professor on, Kate Mann to talk about the Cornell 7 case
16:55 and to talk about rape culture and how awful this thing is and to give a deeper look at what actually happened with this investigation. Man says all kinds of things that I think are just worth responding to because they might seem small for interpretation of how things went down, but this is what pushes a particular narrative. And just because a narrative sounds compassionate or sounds mostly right or mostly good doesn't mean that we should go along with it.
17:24 because when we're dealing with accusations and we're dealing with image bears of God that are accusing or being accused, the truth really matters. It matters to God and so it matters to us. So man kind of constructs this case, this professor, by saying basically Cornell, let these guys do what they wanted to do
17:41 and they weren't sufficiently punished. So maybe that speaks to some kind of corruption due to the patriarchy. I'm kind of reading in between lines, but it doesn't take that much deductive reasoning to understand that that is the picture that they're trying to paint. sought seven. But maybe an even bigger problem is they condensed hours of her testimony,
18:01 including the statement, I am 100% confident I was raped. They deleted that from her statement and condensed it into a mere six pages, which they then gave to the Tompkins County DA, who then did nothing on that basis. So they alighted her saying, I was raped from her testimony. Isn't that shocking? Okay, see, this is how just pay attention to how things can be presented fractionally and sound really compelling. Okay, there are some other podcasters out there in the world that do things like this. They present something that is technically true.
18:38 You hear it out of context. You don't even know everything else and you think obviously that is evidence of corruption. Someone will listen to this podcast and they'll say, wow, I am educated on what happened because they listen to someone who has professor in her title. This is not the entire truth. It is true that in the six page summary from campus police, that her quote that was reported by the New York Times in the full investigation, I can say with 100% confidence I was raped,
19:07 that it was not included. But remember, that six page summary of the 120 page transcript of the full investigation was agreed to, was signed off on by Jane Doe herself. She reviewed a draft. She made 20 handwritten notes and corrections. They took those notes and corrections. They sent her back a final version. This is according to the New York Times. She signed off on the final version. As we talked about last week, her own advocates were like, hey, like we just want to double check to make sure. Do you want us to
19:40 look over it again? Are you good with how this all sounds? Do you feel that it's accurate? She said that she was confident in it, that she was confident in it. That she was confident in the six-page summary by campus police that was given to the DA. Now, you could ask why, but why did they take out that statement that was in the fuller transcript of that she was 100% confident that she was raped? I'm not sure, and I also don't know that it matters. The whole assumption of why they were sending this to the DA was that she was accusing these men of rape.
20:10 Like, I don't think the DA was confused about that. They understood that that's the allegation that is being made, and that is why they are getting this report from Cornell, what difference would it make if they included the quote of her saying that? Again, that was the entire underlying presupposition here. That was why they were getting this document. It's also very common to condense an extremely long interview into a shorter statement. That's just standard practice for law enforcement. So there wasn't anything there per se that was sketchy. Now, she goes on to say, but the campus also didn't do enough. So maybe there's something kind of nefarious going on here.
20:53 We'll get to that in just a second. Let me tell you about our next sponsor. It's WeHeart Nutrition. If you were at Share the Arrows last weekend, you got to see a lot of WeHeart Nutrition. That's because we love them so much. And we're so thankful. They were a huge part of Share the Arrows. And we love the heart behind what they do to make good supplements for moms and for women of all kinds in all stages of life. And I truly love their products. I take WeHeart Nutrition supplements every day. I take their prenatal vitamin. I take their, um, their iron supplement. I take their magnesium, omega threes, their probiotics. It's really all so good. Like it really sits well. It makes you feel good. Not all supplements make you feel good. Sometimes they make you feel bad right away.
21:34 Plus, they're filled with all kinds of synthetic stuff that doesn't actually work with your body, but every we heart nutrition ingredient comes in the most bioavailable form. So your body's actually absorbing what it needs. Go to weheartnutrition.com. Use code. Code Alley for 20% off your first order, weheartnutrition.com code Alley. So here is Professor Mann saying that Cornell just did not do enough in this investigation, Saudi. And then they expel two students, so that's good, but five of the seven are left free to graduate. And it is very hard for me to understand, admittedly not privy to all of the ins and outs of
22:15 the internal investigation because none of us are. but it is hard for me to understand why Jane Doe ends up dropping out and not getting her tuition refunded while five of the seven men who she alleged attacked her are left free to graduate with a Cornell degree. Okay, so again, partly true here. Two of these seven men who are accused of being involved in what she called, what Jane Doe called a sexual assault, were expelled. and they were expelled because they were found responsible by the disciplinary panel at Cornell of exploiting her for allowing for her sexual assault, even being responsible for sexual assault.
22:57 I do think it's important to note, though, that those two students who were expelled because they were found responsible for those actions were never found guilty of any crime in a criminal court. Again, I'm not saying one way or the other whether that exonerates them completely, but I do think it's important. Like, okay, if you raped someone and you committed sexual assault, then you should go to prison. And so there's some kind of discrepancy there. Either Cornell did too much because they were afraid. And they were like, we don't want the blowback. We want to be able to say that we took this seriously. Or the DA just didn't do enough. The DA, of course, defends themselves saying they did
23:33 everything that they possibly could and didn't find enough evidence. You could also say maybe there's some discrepancy between what Cornell calls a sexual assault and what New York law calls a sexual assault. So Cornell did what they could. The DA did what they could. That's also a possibility. There are lots of possibilities beyond Cornell is just corrupt and wanted to protect rapists. According to the court documents, he filed in Tompkins County, New York Supreme Court in March, one of the other students who were punished. So this is one of one of the people who's included in the seven, but not one of the ones who got expelled. He said that he was punished by the university. He had to have a no contact order with Jane Doe. He had to do a few other things, including write a paper.
24:18 He said that he was punished, but he, that he never actually committed any of the infractions that he was accused of, that he says he never even saw her naked. He never saw her in distress. His infraction was receiving the terrible text message or terrible message in the Snapchat for Trinity group chat that said free P-word. He says that he came into check. He says that he came into check on Jane Doe to make sure that everything was okay. According to CBS, his testimony says that he was in the room for five minutes, that he, again, didn't see her do drugs or high or anything, didn't even see her naked, asked her if she was okay. He said that she responded, I'm good, and says that she did not seem inebriated at all. Again, that is his testimony. And the disciplinary
25:04 panel did not find him responsible for sexual assault or sexual, um, for sexual exploitation. The one accusation that Jane Doe gave about this guy was that he snorted ketamine off of her body. But the investigation actually found no evidence of that. He got a drug test. They took a hair follicle to test for ketamine and that came back negative. So he has appealed this decision because he's like, look, there was no evidence of what I was accused of. And yet I was still punished by the university. So when you see people saying, oh, they were made to write a paper.
25:42 were made to write a paper. Well, actually, it is possible that even that punishment was too much for some of the people involved. And by the way, two of them were expelled. So I think it's actually more troubling, or at least more of a question, like if someone can be punished for attempted sexual exploitation, but not proven sexual exploitation, for just like walking into a room after receiving a text, like, is there actually any due process going on here? Now, man also says this professor that we just have to believe women. We just have to believe Jane Doe, Sot 9. Well, so what we see in this particular case, if her allegations are true and again,
26:30 I am just going to state candidly for the record, I believe Jane Doe. So if what she alleged is true, they, those seven men acted in a way that was just irredeemably entitled. They acted like they were utterly entitled to take what they wanted from her, not because I think they were all that interested in her as a human being, but because they wanted to show off to each other and get points in an intramasculine hierarchy. Okay, like that is such a stretch. We don't know anything about this. I mean, we just don't know anything about what actually went down in that room. We have her conflicting testimony, which conflicts with itself, as we talked about thoroughly last week.
27:17 And then we have the men's testimony, which in some cases conflicts with what she said. We have a he said, she said situation. And we are believing Jane Doe because she's a woman. But you'll see she even hedges there. She says, I believe Jane Doe. and then the very next sentence that she says, if what she alleges is true. Why does she say that?
27:34 Why doesn't she just say, well, this happened, and that is so terrible, because you don't really know. I mean, the question is, which Jane Doe do you believe? At first she said that nothing happened. Nothing went wrong. She texted this to a man.
27:51 She said, I'm getting heat from these PFI girls. As I said earlier, I really liked being with you and Matt. none of the sexual stuff was illegal. Anything else anyone has to say about the gang bang you is out of their jurisdiction. I don't think that we should feel any shame for the part, our body, our choice. Okay, so she's very emphatic about this. It wasn't until she got disinvited from the Halloween party. And her roommate started being like, uh, that actually doesn't sound cool.
28:21 Maybe you weren't really consenting. Her reputation started getting trash that she ended up going to the campus police weeks after the incident happened. You can try to justify or like excuse all of that by saying this is a sexual trauma response, but that's a guess on your part. We just don't know. And it's a guess on this professor's part too. But all of this creates this long narrative.
28:44 Now, here's what something that they said that I thought was especially egregious, that rape accusations, they don't actually ruin the guy's life, Sot 10. I've seen a lot of women on social media saying, you know, I, I did think about that before I came forward because I'm like, oh my God, could this ruin his life? The answer is usually, no, it actually probably won't ruin his life, unfortunately. He'll be fine. He'll be fine. Okay.
29:11 What? I mean, you should. Whenever you are thinking about accusing someone of something, one, you need to ask yourself, is this 100% true? Am I completely confident that this is true that every single person that I'm involving in this and accusing of this actually did what I claim to the best of my knowledge? Now, we're all finite, fallible people and our memories can fail us. But to the best of my knowledge, is this the absolute truth?
29:36 Am I acting out of a desire for justice based on truth? Or am I acting out of shame? Am I acting out of vengeance? Am I acting out of, you know, wanting attention affirmation, things like that? Those are all totally fine things to ask yourself. Someone shouldn't hesitate to bring forward an accusation just because they're afraid of hurting the accused feelings. Certainly not.
29:57 But you should be really test. the veracity of your claim before you go forward and make this accusation because false accusations are a big deal. And if someone is falsely accused of rape and then they are found guilty of that rape, yes, of course that ruins that person's life. It's going to go on their record. Not only, I mean, of course, these guys got expelled and maybe that was a justifiable punishment for those two guys. We don't really know. But if they were found guilty in a court of law, you go to prison, it's on your record. Of course. That has the possibility of ruining someone's life. Absolutely. The families of the accused are also reportedly receiving death threats.
30:37 An attorney for one of the accused told the Washington Post that his client's mother had received death threats, said that he and his, that his legal partner, the attorney and his legal partner, had also received death threats. He additionally reported that his client had been publicly accosted in October because remember, the campus, the campus newspaper, and then all of social media started exposing these guys, their faces, their names, in some cases, their addresses. One guy in another city who had nothing to do with Cornell, who happened to share the name with one of the people being accused, started getting threats and harassment and things like that. That's what happens online.
31:18 That's called mob justice, which is not actually justice at all. That's why God set up a system of laws and a system of due process where both the accused and the accuser have rights because mob justice is injustice. Mob justice led to Jesus's crucifixion. That is what mob justice looks like when you decide someone's guilt based on the demands of what angry people in the crowd say. Now, obviously, that is an earthly simplification of Jesus' crucifixion, which was the fulfillment of prophecy and Jesus gave himself up for us.
31:50 but you understand, like, that is the most gruesome example of mob justice being carried out in history, and it's still happening today. And so this is what happens when you have someone who simply, well, she wants to virtue signal in some ways, of course, she wants to present herself as moral as good as having these moral constraints and moral boundaries, even as she, Alex Cooper, is the one who has pushed those moral boundaries to the point of them not even existing in our peripheral vision anymore. And now she wants people to look around at the moral boundaries that she claims have always set up and say, oh yeah, Alex Cooper is actually a good person.
32:33 That's what she's doing here. She has created the culture where women feel empowered to do things like this. But then when a woman feels a real sense of shame because of her behavior, you know, she, possibly, this is one theory about what happened. she runs with accusations. Now, as I said last week, and I think is really important, if I were talking to Jane Doe, I would speak to her lovingly and gently and compassionately, but truthfully to tell her that she is worth a lot more than what she has degraded herself to be. Those young men are worth a lot more than what they have degraded themselves to be, but they all, all of them who were actually involved
33:11 committed sins. I don't know if they committed crimes, but they committed sins. And that is, even more deadly because of what it not only does to your body, but also does to your soul. And Alex Cooper, you are also made in God's image and you are worth more than what you are selling yourself as and you are worth more than this degrading message that you have been feeding to women for so long. So don't come back now and act like you are like the white knight saving women out of this very, very morally. debased culture that you have helped create for this generation. All right.
33:53 Now we have some more outrage. We've got people who are very angry at comedian Shane Gillis for talking about women and their own responsibility when it comes to sexuality and their bodies. Let me pause and tell you about our next sponsor and that is Puri. I thought that I was getting enough protein in my diet, but it turns out that that's actually very difficult to do. Sometimes you just need a supplementary form of protein. to make sure that your body, that your muscles, that your bones are getting the nutrients that
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35:05 when you start a subscription, puri.com slash alley. Okay. Speaking of getting our protein in and getting stronger, Shane Gillis has some comments to make about what women wear to the gym. Now, let me tell you, obviously we're going to bleep out the stuff. This is crass. And I do not endorse crassness. I don't think it's a good thing.
35:30 But I need to give you context of what he actually said. So you understand like why people are so upset at Shane Gillis right now. Soap three. Also, I haven't been to the gym in so long. I didn't know women just dress like now. Look, I'm sorry. There's no other way to describe. Have you seen it?
35:47 I've seen it. The shorts? Have you seen the shorts? Those neon, they're like the only, they're like artificial bait colored. The wrinkles, the wrinkles go like around the cheeks and all combine at the and don't look. You're not allowed to look. Okay, so obviously gross.
36:10 But the reason it's gross to hear him say that is because it's true. Like, is because that is actually not even a little bit of an exaggeration. that's actually like a nice and dignified way to describe what a lot of women wear to the gym. The description of those shorts is actually completely accurate. Now, there is a, there's an actor. He was on Schitt's Creek. I'm sorry, that's their last name.
36:38 I'm not cussing. Dan Levy. He posted on Instagram that he was speechless that something like that can exist on live national television. Not that the shorts exist in public, but that someone can tell you. talk about it in public except for. Women wearing short shorts to the gym does not make them
36:56 it makes the men calling them misogynists. There's a difference there. By the way, I've seen more men's nipples at the gym than I've ever seen women showing their bodies off. But I'm speechless that something like that can exist on. live national television. Okay, I also don't think that men should show their nipples at gyms. Does that help?
37:33 Was that good? Because I think that's also gross. I also don't think that we should be calling women or men, any name like that. Like, I don't, I don't like that word that Shane Gillis used that we bleeped out. I don't, I don't think it's good. I'm not justifying calling anyone that. But I think that the outrage about saying something that is obviously true, it's crazy. You've got country singer Marin Morris.
37:56 She's posted a picture of herself giving Shane Gillis the finger, me being at the gym, leave my gym short wedgy out of it. Okay. Former SNL star Ego in Wondam says that posted a photo of herself at the gym wearing shorts, saying bleep reporting for duty, getting my 30 grams of protein in after hoeing. Okay, so people were obviously upset about this, calling him a massageist.
38:28 Here's my take on it, you probably know, because I have a gym closed rant that I posted on social media a couple years ago that starts to recirculate and go re-viral every few months. So here I am to say it again, the same eight words. I do not consent to seeing your butt, okay? I don't consent to seeing your butt. I don't agree with how Shane Gillis said it, but it is actually true. And it's just ironic because this actually. culture in the modern West is as long as everyone consents, it's all okay. Well, I reject the consent-only
38:59 standard of sexual morality, as I've said, that's the bare minimum. But is it not interesting that when it comes to everyone being subjected to mostly naked bodies and public spaces, that we are told that consent is not part of the equation. Like discomfort with or objection to you or your child seeing someone's butt crack in other intimate areas is completely dismissed as being prudish and controlling. But like, I'm not asking for a burqa here. I'm just asking for some decency, like from for some respect for yourself and for others. Just wear clothes, not underwear. Like, is that so crazy? And if you want to know what I mean even more specifically and why I will tell you and give you the biblical perspective in just a
39:45 second, but I am also going to be even more offensive, probably even more offensive. Probably even more offensive than Shane Gillis and what I am about to say. The problem of this of women just showing their body so flagrantly without any understanding of like what context is okay to wear certain clothes and not wear certain clothes is not just a problem at the gym. And we're not just talking about secular liberal feminists flailing their body parts all around. What I'm about to get into is going to offend some moms out there.
40:19 And that's not my intention to offend. I would not say this if I didn't think that it was necessary. You can tell me if I'm missing something here. And it has to do with homecoming dresses. All right. We'll get into that in just a second. Take a deep breath. I got to tell you about our next sponsor first. It is Javity. For years, we spent late nights Googling our symptoms. Like, why are we so tired? Why are we stressed? Or why do I have this ache and pain? Why can I never feel better? don't I recover? Why am I getting sick all the time? And it can just cause anxiety and paranoia to constantly be looking at your symptoms and constantly be trying to figure out what's wrong. You just need an entire blood panel done. You need to see what's really going on in your body.
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41:48 I'm so glad we did this before we got pregnant with baby number four. Help us really be as healthy as possible. Gogevity.com slash Alley for that discount. Gogevity.com slash alley. There we are. Hillary Clinton and me for lifestyle pitter patter. Okay, my question is, why do I see Christian moms posting their teen daughters
42:20 going to homecoming in dresses that barely cover their bodies? Like, can someone tell me that? I'm going to talk about this, like as gently and as truthfully and as biblically as I possibly can, not like Shane Gillis, but we're kind of like pointing to the same problem. And when you've got secular people pointing to this problem of like, why aren't women covering up their bodies at all in public? Okay, we've really got an issue and Christians need to be leading the way and leading by example and like what it looks like to be dignified and lovely. And I really just kind of want to know,
42:54 am I not understanding something? Because I am I talking about, like Christian moms that I see on Instagram posting things that are so scant. And this is obviously a big problem because Christian school policies for homecoming dresses are changing. Apparently this was an issue at a Christian school in Colorado because back in 2022, they started requiring girls to send photos of their dresses front and back to be reviewed by female staff members. Now, these rules were pushed back on with the Colorado school starting a petition that received 553 signatures to get rid of the rules, citing they were being objectified. Now, again, this is a Christian school in Colorado. Okay, a Christian school in Colorado,
43:36 the parents and the students at this Christian school were saying, no, you can't give us these rules that say that our dresses have to be a particular kind of modest. Now, remember, the reviewers who were reviewing these dresses to make sure they aligned with the rules were females, okay? Like I would get it, that would be gross and weird if you had a bunch of like male teachers and the principal, like looking at pictures of these teenage girls. Yeah, that would be really weird. But the reviewers were female to see if the dresses were going to be appropriate. I don't see anything wrong with that. And by the way, you're not forced to go to the school. This is a Christian school who I'm sure says up front, hey, we have Christian values.
44:14 If you don't believe in these Christian values, then there is a public school right around the corner. You agree to that. When you send your kids to Christian schools, that you're going to abide by these Christian principals. And so the fact that they had over 550 signatures on this petition is crazy. There was a Catholic school in Nevada that adopted new rules in 2023, requiring homecoming dresses to be ankle or floor length instead of the previous mid-thigh length. The Nevada school also had students writing petitions and emailing and talking to the deans to voice their displeasure with the new rules.
44:47 Now, maybe you disagree with that particular rule, but I also understand a school having to just draw the line somewhere. I doubt this Catholic school is saying that you could never show your leg at all for fear that you will be immodest, but you do just kind of have to say if you are an institution, okay, this is what the rule has to be. And I just find it strange that when you have people opting for schools that are Catholic, that are Christian, evangelical, whatever, and suddenly they try to enforce those values that the parents bulk, that the students freak out. All right. So we are in this culture war. And I think Christians seem to be on the wrong side. Now, I have been a teenage girl. I don't think all of the dresses that we wore in high school back in
45:36 my day were perfectly modest by any means. But also, that doesn't make it okay. And also, wearing short and tight things was not the trend back in the 2010s. There might have been other ways that they weren't as modest as possible. But the homecoming dresses to now are at like a whole new level. It is as short, tight, and as low as possible. There is no distinction I see between Christian families posting on
46:01 Instagram and like the non-Christian public school, public school families that you see like when you're out, you know, eating dinner and they're like taking pictures. It's all the same. They all look the same. So what is going on? Is it just impossible to say no?
46:17 Is it the worst thing in the world for your? your daughter to look different than her peers. In fact, if your Christian daughter dresses exactly the same as all of her non-Christian friends, is that probably just not great? Like, I am not someone who thinks that women, young or olds need to wear a burlap sack or that they should be ashamed of the female form or that they shouldn't put effort into looking beautiful. That is not me. Looking lovely and feminine and radiant can be glorifying to God. But if the point of an outfit is to draw eyes to anything other than the face or the overall beauty of a woman's presence, then it's not an outfit that a Christian woman should wear,
46:54 whether she is a teenager, whether she's an adult. If the point of the outfit, okay, regardless of the intention of the person wearing it, if the point of the outfit, regardless of the intention of the person wearing it, is to draw eyes to private parts, then a Christian woman shouldn't be wearing it. Now, you can say, well, which I know I'll get, male lust isn't a woman's problem. men should just have self-control.
47:17 Jesus said that the man should pluck his eye out before lasting after a woman. And all of that is technically true. But to dismiss the importance of modesty by saying, well, that's a male-lust problem, the son of our business, it's to miss the point entirely. It's to miss the point of the gospel, actually. It's to miss the point of Jesus' message. Jesus says this to the Pharisees in Mark 12, when they ask him what the greatest commandment is. He says, the Lord our God, the Lord is one, and you shall love the Lord your God.
47:45 God with all of your heart and with all of your soul, with all of your mind, with all of your strength. The second is this, you shall love your neighbor as yourself. There is no other commandment greater than these. Now, what does it mean to love God? How do we do it? So he says, you got to love God first. That's the most important thing. Then you got to love your neighbor.
48:04 What does it mean to love God? Jesus tells us in John 14, 15, if you love me, you will keep my commandments. If you love me, you will obey me. What are these commandments? Romans 139 tells us, for the commandments, you shall not commit adultery, you shall not murder, you shall not steal, you shall not covet, and any other commandment are summed up in this word, you shall love your neighbor as yourself. And so you have this kind of reciprocal relationship between the first commandment that Jesus says is so important. And the second commandment that Jesus says is so important. Galatians 514 says this, for the whole law is fulfilled in one word, you shall love your neighbor as yourself. James 2A if you really fulfill the royal law according to scripture you shall love your neighbor as yourself you are doing well now the world will say today that loving someone is just affirming them that loving someone is just telling them that what they're doing is great no matter what
49:00 their behavior is no matter what their choices are but again we can't do that first john 4 8 tells us god is love and jesus is god we read that in john 1 and he tells us what it means to love god to keep His commandments. What are the commandments? Love your neighbor as yourself. How do you love your neighbor as yourself by loving the Lord your God and keeping his command? It's a reciprocal, cyclical kind of relationship between the first and the second commandment. So we need to then define our terms because what is this actually mean? If God is loved 1 John 4 8th and he gets to define it. 1 Corinthians 13. He defines it beautifully for us in so many words. But there's one particular verse that I want to point out in 1 Corinthians 13 starts with verse 3 or it's one particular segment I should say
49:47 if I give away all I have and if I deliver up my body to be burned but have not love God through Paul says I gain nothing love is patient and kind love does not envy or boast it is not arrogant or rude it is not irritable or resentful it does not rejoice it wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth love bears all things believes all things hopes all things endures all things so love does not insist on its own way. It does not rejoice at wrongdoing. So I always think about these two things when people tell us that, you know, affirming all different kinds of sin is loving or just being nice to people is loving. But love never rejoices in wrongdoing. Love never insists on its own way. How does this relate to what we're talking about? Wearing something intentionally provocative
50:36 is not loving your neighbor. It's distracting. It's tempting. It can invades a message of narcissism and invites objectification. Immodesty is not an excuse for lust. I am not saying that. It does not alleviate the responsibility of the person lusting, but lust also doesn't alleviate the responsibility of someone dressing deliberately, deliberately scantily. Both the person displaying their body and the person lusting after the body are sinning.
51:03 I believe as far as is reasonable. And as far as it depends on us, we need to make it more difficult, not easier for people around us to sin. Now that's not just in how we dress. That is also in how we drive and how we talk, how we treat other people. I think being a peacemaker is more than just avoiding unnecessary conflict. I think it's also as much as we can,
51:27 avoiding causing unnecessary strife and struggle in the minds and the hearts of others, especially fellow Christians. Matthew 186 says this. Jesus issues a stern warning. causing other, about causing other people to sin. He says, if anyone causes one of these little ones, those who believe in me to stumble, it would be badder for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned
51:53 in the depths of the sea. Now, a lot of times we refer to this verse when we were talking about people who pray upon children, which may be applicable to that. Obviously, that is awful and wrong. But the little ones that Jesus is talking about here is not talking about literal children. He is actually talking about his followers, Christians. And we know that because if you back up just a few verses, he says in verses three through four. Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom
52:19 of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child, he had a child in the midst of them, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Okay, so he is talking about Christians, becoming like children and then referring to us as little ones, those who are disciples of Jesus, following Jesus. If you tempt one of these little ones to sin and be better for you to be thrown. into the ocean with a big rock tied to your neck. That's how serious it is. So specifically for Christian moms, I think we have to ask ourselves, like, is your daughter's dress making it more
52:50 difficult or easier for her date to sin? And in that way, is she sinning? Are you paying money for your child to sin and to facilitate the sin of others? If so, is that loving to your daughter, to the boys in her class? And I know people want to know, well, what qualifies? What qualifies? What set of rules do you have that qualifies as modest? Well, I don't have a set of rules. And neither does the Bible. I think we have to go to the principles of what the Bible says and then apply that with the help of the Holy Spirit and with as much wisdom as we possibly can. We'll get into the specifics of that in just a second. Let me tell you about our last sponsor. It's good ranchers. We love good ranchers, always eating good ranchers. We had there better than organic chicken last night, had a little barbecue chicken situation,
53:37 which I love. It is the best way to make sure that you get good protein in your meal and your kids meals every night. And it's just such peace of mind knowing that we always have a freezer full of all American meat in our freezer ready to go. You just have to thought we've got beef. We'll probably eat that tonight. It's like beef and chicken every other night in this Stucky home.
53:58 But you can always dress it up. And you just know that it's high quality, that it's really good tasting, hormone-free, all from American farmers when you order. from Good Ranchers. This would make a great Christmas gift, by the way, especially for that person that is so hard to buy for. It's just thoughtful and actually really useful. Go to Goodranchers.com slash Alley. Get $50 off anything on their site. Good Ranchers.com slash Alley. First Timothy 2.9 says, likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel with modesty and self-control. And maybe you're thinking, well, gosh, just more subjective adjectives.
54:38 Like what does that even mean? Let's not protect. to not know what that means. If you were to picture someone dressing in a way that is described as controlled, respectable, and modest, would you choose a strapless dress that covers two inches of your legs or scrunched up spandex being eaten by your butt cheeks? Probably not. Like when it comes to doing what we want to do, we just need to be really honest with ourselves because we have all done this.
55:04 When it comes to doing what we want to do, suddenly we act like we don't know what words mean. When it comes to doing what we want to do, suddenly we start arguing about technicalities and calling everything legalism. But well, what is really meant by that? Like, I need just a particular number that tells me exactly what modesty looks like. No, I think we know. If I use the words, for example, lovely, radiant, respectable, dignified to describe a homecoming dress, what would you envision?
55:35 If I use the words sexy and sassy to describe one, what do you envision? Now, is what your daughter wearing closer to the first or to the second? Also, we can talk about practicality, like if we really want to get down to the nitty gritty of it. And this might sound ridiculous to those of you who, like, have not seen this, this like group of homecoming going teens, either on social media and real life. But like, these are real questions that I think parents should be asking, especially Christian parents.
56:03 It's kind of like, duh, but I don't know that all Christian parents are. can she sit down without someone seeing up her dress? Can she bend over without someone seeing up her dress? Can she lean over without someone seeing down her dress? Can she dance and move comfortably without fear of exposing her private parts? Like it sounds ridiculous, but these are base level questions that we should be asking ourselves about our own clothing, yes,
56:26 but especially about our children's clothing. It really at the end of the day comes down to love. Like are we willing to love our children enough to say no? to protect them because your child, I mean, maybe she is mature enough to understand like why modesty and dignity is important, why that kind of self-respect and love of God and love of neighbor should emanate from what she wears, but maybe she's not quite there yet. And that is why she has been given to you to Stewart. This does not mean shaming her for her body. This does not mean alleviating the responsibility of those who might objectify her no matter what she's wearing.
57:06 It is allowing her to, with you, envision what biblical loveliness looks like. Because I think that is really the kind of dignity that we need to all convey in what we are wearing. And just because her friends are all wearing the sparkly skin tight, low cut short stuff, doesn't mean that she has to. I mean, we know that we aren't to conform to the pattern of this world. We're to be renewed in the spirit of our minds. And at this time, when things are so formative, like this, you only have a few years left.
57:41 You have a very, very small window where you have authority over your child and you have the ability to just say no. Yes, I know, she's going to think you're crazy. She's going to think you're strict. She might, you know, pitch a fit. She might push back on you. But you are still the parent. You are not her friend. You are her parent.
58:01 And there are things, yes, that my parents told me, no, that I thought was so ridiculous. and that I hated at the time. And of course, I look back. And I'm like, wow, I'm so thankful. Who knows what that protected me from? I didn't have the foresight and the ability to see that then, but my parents did because they had 30 years on me. You do too. That is your responsibility. And so I'm not, I know people will say, oh, that's per seical, that's judgmental. It's not that. Look, I've been a teen girl. I know what that's like. And I also understand that the objectification is amplified today through social media in a way that it wasn't when I was a teenager. and it's not protecting your daughter one bit to allow her to wear things that barely cover
58:40 her body for not only her date and her friends and her school to see, but also thousands of people online. That is a form of exploitation and Christians should take no part in that. All right. That's all we've got time for today. We will be back here on Friday.
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