A Micro-Targeted Custom Diagnosis Of Pain
00:00Have y'all seen this Green Lantern TV show that Matt Rules on?Yes.Yes.No, I have not.I have not seen any of it.That was a hilarious jump scare.I would be honest.I had really no, I'd seen people saying like lanterns is good.
00:13Like, it's a show of people, blah, blah, blah.It's one of many, many shows people watch.I had no idea it was even like a DC Comics thing until after Matt Rule was on it.You just thought it was about various methods of illumination.It's just like, I don't know, it seems like it's about some small town or something.That was like my, where, you know, I guess they need lights.And you were correct.yeah yeah yeah you are right about that yeah it is but um yeah Matt Ruhl is a as a Hollywood actor now
00:38on a show that and and reading up on it I haven't still don't watch any of it but it does soundgood enough to actually catch up on um there's so much Nebraska football in it apparently a ton ofit like I yep uh Navy football makes a brief appearance Florida state football is mentionedMichigan football I believe also mentioned Michigan is in there is a there is a there is awas a Michigan hat in there.Yeah, I had not seen, it was real funny.I saw this episode like hours after we talked about Matt Rule on After Dark on Saturday night.And I was like, whew!
01:17I was catching up on, apparently coach Eric Taylor,intergalactic space cop coach Eric Taylor is at one point grilling an alien suspect on like,Bob Tavaney and Frank Solich lore.There is so much more in this.Yeah.Technically,yeah.It becomes his like,
01:38that's his Turing test or not Turing test,whatever the alien version of the Turing test is.Turr,terrain,there's got to be a farming term here.Terra,the Terra test since all Earth.Tariff's tests.
01:50Yeah, yeah, yeah.But I was read,someone failed that one.The creator who also did Ozark is from Oklahoma.Tom King,when the co-rayer.who did the Supergirl book that the movie fucked up has like family from this exact middleand nowhere in Nebraska town so like this is all like super central legit place of love type stuff
02:12the green lantern said do you know who Frank Solich is not exactly with that but basicallyyeah i jumped out of my skin when that happened yeah there's this is this is an eight episodeeight or nine episode season series and Nebraska football comes oh my godOh my God. I didn't tell you guys. I never mentioned this to any of you guys because like it's, uh, I think it's because Godfrey hadn't seen it yet. And so I just didn't think to mention it to anybody because I didn't want to spoil him. But at one point in like there, this is like nine episodes, eight episodes and nine episodes of television. Nebraska football shows up explicitly in like four of the episodes. Like it's not just a a toss off thing. But at one point like early on in the series, this is I think this is when he's talking to this same when he's questioning this same alien.And he's like, swear on the, it's played for, it's played for a lap, but he's serious.He's like, swear on the life of Frank Osborne.Yeah.It's like Tom Osborne or whoever it is, you people worship or something.
03:11Yeah, yeah, yeah.No, no, no, I know, like, it's an incredible, like.I know who Tom Osborne is.Here I am.It don't, Holly knows who Tom Osborne is.Who, like, I wasn't preempting you.I was preempting the internet.No, I was telling them as well in case they would don't, in case they were,
03:28Hey, internet.Hey, internet.They will.But like the presentation of Tom Osborne as a potential deity, like these people get the stateof Nebraska just fine.And like it wasn't, it wasn't quite the, and I'm not saying that this was said with theamount of intensity as in the Nolan Batman when the guy's like, I swear to God andChristian Bales like, swear to me!
03:49But it was with the same tone, like it was that exact rhythm, if not quite as hollery.I think the same tone presented like Great Plains Midwesternly, right?because like you're not going to bark and growl and yell like Batman.Yeah.A little bit like Coach Taylor, like talking to Matt Saracen,like in that sarcastic like,swear to Tom Osborne.Tom freaking.
04:15Did I just reveal myself to be an alien by calling him Frank Oswald?No, I think you're going undercover as an alien.It's the Frank Solich Tom Osborne of it all that's coming together.Yeah.I, um,this also,This also brought to mind that time there was, we did a whole episode on the fucking Snyder cut.Yep.
04:37You're welcome.The three years.Pandemic was freaky man.It was a weird fucking time.Pandemic was fucking weird.It was like this awful.Four hours?I don't know.
04:46It felt like nine.That happened when Zach Snyder put Wisconsin football in?Yes.Yes.Okay, that one.Yeah.It was a cyborg.The Justice League member is, uh, is college football player for the Gotham City
04:59Wildcats, which I wrote today, that sounds like dirty Northwestern.And they show them going to like a like snow blanketed Wisconsin and he gets the winning touchdownbecause Zach Snyder is from Wisconsin.So that's, he wanted to put his team in there.But like we have here a situation where like the DC is like about the Big Ten West.It just happens over and over.And also Supergirl Tom King, his book, his like grandparents are all from like middlenowhere in Nebraska.
05:28that Supergirl story is like heavy on farming.Like the secondary character is a farmer's daughter and they're constantly going around to farms and stuff.Like this shit is Nebraska to the core, man.In the new super, the new est, excuse me, because we want this show to be evergreen, in the newest Superman movie,if you're listening to this 10 years in the future, they made one of these last year.I had never realized, I had never thought about them in this context, even though we all know where Superman is from.but just based on the colors they were wearing in all the photos,I was like, holy shit, mom, Pa Kent, or Jayhawks.
06:01Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.I had never thought about that.They have been through a lot, and then this baby lands in their cornfield.It makes the red, blue, and yellow of his suit make all the more sense.Yeah.Like, and what a statement of hope.What a statement of defiance of injustice and sticking up for the little guy this isof the most powerful being in the universe identifying with the Kansas Jayhawks.
06:25Let me tell you, though, let me tell you, this is it.Rock, Clark, J. Hawk.Yes.We think about this, though.Like, Superman is itself a metaphor for Kansas athletics because Superman, in the majority of the universe, away from the sun's rays, just a guy, just a guy.But in the presence of a special orb.Mm-hmm.Orange.
06:46An orange.Orange.In a special environment.It's called yellow, but it's orange.Right?He becomes superhuman.Is this not?the analog for Kansas and basketball.
06:57Because if you throw Kansas into the cold of the galaxy.What's the opposite of orange on the color wheel?Green.That's kryptonite.That's right.Yeah.Think about that.Yeah.
07:08About that.Man,what a waste of,I'm not,I will not drag us down any further into the ditch that we already are.But what a missed opportunity for branding for Legends of Tomorrow.Saying.To the shutdown forecast.
08:09You are listening to the internet's.only college football podcast. I am Spencer Hall. I wrap my cords the wrong way.Hell yeah. That's true. I'm an idiot. I mean like, hi, I'm Jason Kirk. Like, I could say like,oh, I'm going to learn chord rapping. I'm going to do, no, I'm fucking not. It's not ever going tohappen. I understand it's wrong. I understand it'll upset our audio, our audio heads.There's nothing I can do about that. There's a lot of Falcons fans out there. You know, they know.They shouldn't, but they do anyway.They do.
08:42I mean, right now, right now, right now it's fine.Right now it's maybe time to get on board.I mean, I'm the one who keeps trying to teach Spencer how to wrap cables correctly.So who's the idiot here?That is Holly Anderson.I know what's the definition of insanity?I know how this is going to go.Spencer, the crazy maker.
09:01Marginal utility here, by the way, is exceeded by most audiophiles because I could learn how to do this properly.But according to audio files,I'm never going to fucking get it right.That's just like all sound guys.I'm talking about it extremes.I'm not talking about the median sound person, okay?I'm talking about the sound guy that you run into and you show him your stereo and he's like, well, yeah.I mean, that's, I wouldn't have done that.
09:25I'm going to send him this clip and he and I'm going to give him your number.No, not that one.No, I'm not talking about that one.Okay.No, I mean, he's fine.He's never done that.I know who you're talking about Spencer and there is no pleasing them, but I do have a couple of pedals on my pedal board.that I don't use, but they're specifically there to get the sound guy to take me seriously.
09:46And it works.Oh, that's really smart.So they see that and they're like, this isn't the guy to explain things to.I'll find someone else instead.Yeah, 100%.In fact, like he assumes that I've told everyone else what they need to know.So like, he then just talks to me too.So then like they don't even have to fucking deal with him.
10:06Wow.So you are drawing fire.by posing as one of them.So, like, then they're coming to you and so they're like,you get it. These people don't.But it doesn't matter because none of them have to hear it.Nope. They don't have to hear about any of it.And, like, and immediately he'll just talk normal language to me
10:23instead of, like, trying to talk above me because he's like, oh, well,it's one of, I will reveal one of them is a boss Wazacraft delay.It's a fine little bucket brigade delay, like analog delay.But, like, it's not any better than the regular boss delays.that they have.But the Wazit craft's a little bitpricier and it carriesa little bit of a snootiness about it.
10:46So with it on the end of the pedal boardalways visible,it's part of my one-two punchof like,just talk to me normally, please.It feels like there's probably stuff like thisin like every hobby,vocation line of work,
11:02probably everything,stuff that's just signaling like,you don't need to explain anything to me.Yeah.That's like it's main utility.I have done this before in like a comic book slash gaming store situation is getting approachedand asking for something really arcane when actually I need something very, very basic.I just don't know where it's located in the store.
11:23But I ask for the complicated thing first that I want to look at and then just be like,oh, where is this at the end?Because it saves you a lot of time.Yeah, I think in football, if you're,there's nothing you can do as a member of the media to get 100% buy in that you knowwhat you're talking about from a coach.It's just not possible.No, but if you ask a scheme question first.
11:43A little bit of one.Yeah, a little bit of one.A one that specifically doesn't make them think you are presuming more than you know.Like, you know, the one we always go to is you ask Bill Belichick, like, do you like punters?And finally, thank God, someone asked me about punters, right?Mm-hmm.Or this.Hey, can you talk a little bit about how the tight ends, motion, and they're blocking in this game really opened up the run game?
12:07That's it.If you notice like a little like something they love like that, a little detail, right?Like, hey, wide receivers are really blocking today.Can you talk about how everything they do on the field is mattered?You know, not just what we see in the passing game.Oh, listen, so glad you asked that.And you might not need that answer, but it will open up a conversational door that you want to walk through.This is totally kind of, maybe it's related in some way.
12:30But I noticed in my brief time covering pro sports that the quickest and easiest way to get players to actually like break out.and engage as humans was to ask them about their alma maters to ask about like yo hey big game fora zoo this you know blah blah blah blah and like instantly you just opened them up every timeeveryone wants to good old at good old days it right yeah i think that's especially true for thenfell you ask about that and they're like oh yeah back when it was fun yeah when i wasn't trying togo nine and eight god back when my paycheck didn't you know back when i was better than 99I think for a lot of, this is why I think if you look at who are successful post football career media people, oftentimes they are people who were good, but not necessarily the best at what they did, right?And, and I mean instantly, because I think they approach things with a certain amount of humility because they never ever had to, because they never ever had to not struggle, right?
13:35Like it was hard for the minute they got in there, you know?It was hard, but also you're going to pick up a lot watching from the side with a clipboard because you are around, you are around the coaches as they talk about what your teammates are doing.And then you go in to do film study, like backup quarterbacks are smart.This is what like, you know, they're, I'm not saying that starting quarterbacks are necessarily stupid.But you, they, they are in a position to absorb a lot more information during a game than a starter is.Yeah, this is what makes Tom Brady weird, by the way, because I hate to say this,but in the couple of pro games that I have managed to take in where Brady was the announcer this year,he's way better at it.
14:18Yeah, I don't get why he tries.He's obviously worked really, really hard to get much, much better at this.I really wonder if it was enough people saying,why doesn't he think he has to try at this?Yeah, I think he's kind of a trip.But he also could have had tunnel vision for a really,long time yeah but i saw chase daniel chase daniel's doing stuff for the s cc network now and i waslike backup qb like the backup qb who was really good in college perfect perfect he's gonna kill
14:48this like 100 because those are the guys who are really good at this you know also if youasked him about you know mazoo when he was in the pros he would light up because he's like oh yeahthat was so much easier i feel like chase daniel in particular he played on so many teams thatMizzou was probably the one place that felt like steady.Like I was there.Like, Mizzu for him is probably kind of like, I was there for a while.He's like, oh man, those guys are big Chase Daniel people.Love them.
15:16Great guys.Yeah.Big fans of Chase Daniel.I'm the big fan of them.Yay.Yeah, he played for one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight NFL teams.And only one of them for nearly as long as he was at.the zoo.
15:34So, yeah.Jason,congratulations on yourFalcons winning last night.I did notice somethingthat I wanted to talkabout in that broadcastbesides Bejohn Robinson,
15:42uh,spoiling New Orleans,uh,homecoming,which is what last night was.But I know that because the broadcast focused on that because I don'tthink there's a single event.Not that the Saints winning post-Katrina in their first game back in the
15:57Super Bowl wasn't a big,heavenly magnificent deal.That was awesome.The Saints Super Bowl after that was.Awesome. You disagree. But that's, it's just an incredible thing.They're what? Yes. I am, I was sitting there and I was just thinking, I was like,the NFL at every single opportunity has an amazing superpower that college football does not.Because Katrina affected LSU football and football in New Orleans and Tulane football overall,
16:28drastically. And a lot of people from New Orleans ended up,taking shelter and hanging out for a while in Baton Rouge.If you remember, this was a Baton Rouge, LSU Tennessee was the first game, I believe, after that.That was the one where Jonathan Crompton ran into the goalpost, I believe, was in their first game and LSU ended up winning.The question I, but the question I had is LSU doesn't do that.We don't have a lot of like, there's not these sort of big formal like, hey, this was our thing.Because that's not how individual schools sort of think.The NFL at every point will try to worm its way into local history and U.S. history at every point and somehow score positive PR points off of this.
17:12It's astonishing to me.They do it again and again and again, right?They did it with 9-11 in the Super Bowl post-9-11.They did it post-Ferguson.If you remember, like, this is how we end up with motivational messages of peace and understanding in the end zones.which is how the NFL manages to glom onto this.They don't have a single negative historical eventthat they cannot turn into some sort of like,
17:38hey, man, listen, do you know it's bringing us all together here?You know it's making America better?Bad things happen, but the NFL is there to help you,even though they're not doing shit.They're just playing football.That's it.They'd be doing this anyway.But they're going to slap some branding on it.
17:52And they do it so well every single time that nobody's like,hey, what the fuck do you all actually have to do with this?Like, Jack, fuck nothing.So you're saying in comparison, Florida State University's tribute to MLK didn't quite ring as effectively as the NFL's.I think that might have been, and pardon me if I'm forgetting something LSU did around Katrina.You're forgetting which Tennessee player ran into the goalpost, by the way. That was an Eric Aange special.Oh, was that Eric Aange? I'm so sorry.Why do you think we call him? Never mind.
18:27I think like this is a thing that um college teams like all try to do but I think like there'sdefinitely a case that like the public just just gives that status to uh especially pro teams andthen within pro teams especially NFL teams but like I mean I it it feels weird to be trying tothink of like what was the tragedy in a state without an NFL team that where the college teamwas like the single unifying thing.You know, like it feels like there's probably lots of examples of those,but they don't quite as readily come to mind right at the second.Yeah, nor are they as, nor are they as slickly produced.
19:06I feel like the NFL, like the huddles and the PR campaigns and everything,the packaging they have around these things is amazing.And they could have done it like they could have done it at any point in history.If the Boston molasses disaster had happened in modern era, right?And we're going to brand the follow up the game the next year,is going to be called sweet revenge on CBS.Correct.Correct.
19:28Oh, we're 100% getting the sweet revenge, right?I'm pretty sure I stole that from Ryan, but yes.Yeah, we were totally getting like a Boston.We had a lengthy conversation about disasters that we're staging games after.Yes.We're like historically speaking, you could do any of these, right?And they absolutely would have somehow found a way to get a positive NFL angle on any major disaster, civil disturbance.riot whatever like the NFL hey we're just we're just bringing it together wouldn't you been doing this
20:00anyway yeah yeah yeah we would have been but you know now we can sell a t-shirt on it it's absolutelyawesome and i'm watching it i was like this is why this is the most like successful american franchisein terms of sports because god damn like they can do this with and will do this with anythingand i'm not saying college football is more tasteful absolutely not no no see fSU withputting putting a receiver's glove on on MLK but they're just better at it there's so much betterand so much more coordinated at it I was just standing there with my jaw open last night becauseit's going like it just kind of there's a straight line that you can make betweenbetween like between so many different things that they have managed to turn into
20:47positive NFL vibes or product it's bonkers that's all I was just I was justfloored last night.I'd like enough.And also congratulations for Atlanta for spoiling that.I mean, their team fucking sucks.Which like,it's always this sort of thing where it's like,okay, big night for the city.
21:10Love the city, great city, great people.Fuck the New Orleans Saints.I hope they go 0-17 until the end of time.Wonderful city, wonderful people.I'm glad juvenile and Kirk Franklin were there.There was also some white boy who brought down the vibes of the halftime show.Oh, we have lore on that.Yeah, so Eric Church was there because Eric Church and Trumbull and Shorty are bros, allegedly.
21:36I'm sure also they were there because the NFL took a look at that lineup and said,We need a white boy.America, too, has a request.We need a Luke.We need some independent states of the southern United States representation here.if you could go ahead and get somebody in there.I scrolled back to this conversation with Ryan to our football game disaster commemorative ideas.And he said they should just call the last month of Titans games a salute to COVID when nobody's in the stands.
22:09We're running it back.All December long, social isolation.Everybody, stay home.Stay six feet apart from each other.There's plenty room in the stadium.You all spread up.But I admire your,I admire your gumption as a Falcons fan too,
22:26even on that day.Be like, yeah, I hope you all lose forever.I hope you lose everything.I mean, no, just the team.Yeah, I mean, I think like,as a, I can see 100% where Jason's coming from.Like, as a Dolphins fan,the Buffalo Bills, like the things they do,
22:41like online, it's so fucking cool, fun, interesting.Fuck them.I hope they never win a fucking Super Bowl.I hope they keep,I hope Josh Allen goes to a bunch of them,and they lose all of them.actually. So maybe a little bit different than Jason.I prefer the version where they're like,
22:54get to the mountain top, but then fuckingfall straight off and die.That's like a micro-targeted customdiagnosis of pain, right?Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah.Just giving them more of what they hate.Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So like, conversely,jets continue to fucking lose all the time.
23:10Like New York City is an interesting placefull of amazing culture and likeall the sports teams there have a lot of history and it's super cooland fuck them. Fuck the Jets.Fuck them to death.I think that's a good way to describe the largely unsuccessful history of New York franchises.There's a lot of history.What kind of history?
23:29Never mind.Nah.For the most part.They got one good one.It's very much like these teams we all of us have to hear about all the time.Yeah.Yeah, for no reason.Like we should never really hear about the Jets ever.
23:45I find the Jets interesting.Derogatory.Derogatty.But like, I don't want to.I don't want to watch the Jets.I do want to study the Jets.Yes.This is Bill Murray and Royal Tenet bombs.
23:57Is that thread the needle?Yeah.Can the Jets run?No, no, not at all.Not at all.Like Jets, Browns, like, they're a duo of teams that, like, I'm going to notice their scores.I'm going to look into how they got that way.Can the Jets pass the ball?
24:15Oh, he's not capable of that.Whereas the Giants, no, I don't care.No one cares.That's Jersey's team.I don't want to, yeah, that's Jersey's team.Right, yeah, the geography is very clear, the distinction there.I don't typically jump in to encourage future activities or decisions, but Holly, please study the Jets.What's your major jet studies?
24:37You just said you wanted to, and I thought, like, sometimes things people say make sense,and that would be good for all of us.Maybe not good for you, but I think we would gain a lot from you studying the Jets.I pictured it Victorian naturalist style like pinning them while possibly still alive in a box.Yeah.Yes.Like butterflies.Yeah.
24:56Mm-hmm.Look what I found.It is a Chad Pennington.Wow.There's no shoulder.Yeah.It's interesting.He's born without an ACL.
25:08I also wanted to salute a team that we don't talk about a lot, San Diego State this week.San Diego State managed to triumph this past weekend, despite facing two formidable opponents.One, a favored Texas state team who can score a zillion points.They managed to go ahead and beat them.Shouldn't have done that.But they also had another opponent, Mumps.And which one of those?I understand this is a thing that we got.
25:46We got like shots.you don't get mumps or whatever and blah blah i don't it's it's some bad thing to do is anyone knowwhat mumps actually are that's the one that swells up your face into like giant like we're likelike like not like boils but like your whole look don't look it up okay but like you're it's theone if you'll see in old-timey pictures people have like bandages wrapped around their heads likescarves and it's because they will have like your your face swells up in weird giant lumpsIt also causes, as we learned on Saturday night, extreme testicular swelling?It can cause testicular pain in particular.
26:25The swelling is not as dramatic as like what is called orchitis.You don't want orchitis.Do it affects your face in your nuts?It can affect a lot of different things.I don't know if you get giant swellings in other places.You get, well, it's, you get, it affects glands.Everything I know about this is from Little House on the Prairie.Yeah, it affects the parodid glands and the salivary glands, and they will swell, and they'll be very painful.
26:53So your whole face will just kind of swell up, and it's very painful.You know, in addition to that, you can have, like, a bunch of other different reactions and swellings and inflammation.Pancreatitis is one.Mastitis is another.Mnigitis is one.Just, you don't want it.How long can you go on Mumps Fax?I can go a long way on mom's facts because, you know, I think I'm a little, I'm still a little closer to.
27:21I had boys, of course, and they just get every disease.Oh, okay.Yeah.But, you know, this is one of those things that, you know, you get vaccinated for.And it's, you know, hey.Sort of preventable.It's, it's deeply preventable.But, you know, we're bringing it back.
27:34Everybody, Titans, Titans versus Texans.Yeah, it's Mumps Night.Come get mumps.Mumps Day Night Football.Yeah, San Diego State had to.San Diego StateAnd Mumps is highly infectious tooJust carry onto it
27:51It's highly infectious as wellSo a locker room is perI didIt's you know I dance just like her tooBecause I strap two 10 pound barbells to my shoesBut then I stomp around the houseYou knowI don't know anything else about her
28:06I just know that she's got some heavy ass feetAnd I'm like I pray for that stageStructural integrity of that thingone thing I know is that you say that about her and I've never really noticed this manner of walkingit seems like a normal walker to me but you'll have to see her on if you watch you're on stageI mean I've since I've heard you saying this I have tried to observe the footwork andI'm not seeing what you're seeing out there coach oh well listen let's go back in the filmroom well okay yeah because it's I will tell you
28:44that girl will stomp a mud hole into a into the floor of the desert like she's she's a stomper whenshe dances anyway and uh and i just think naturally she's kind of heavy-footed you knowso we'll have to go back into the film room because i promise you it's there she also mayhave improved dramatically after repeated criticisms of her heavy-footed dance stylewhich is a lot to ask from a country singer is this like local nashville lore is this like aa Nashville, something that you picked up ambiently in Nashville?No, this is just an insistence that I have had ever since the first time I saw herwaiting all day for Sunday night.
29:24Just the man.Yeah, not we can't expect people to be able to dance and sing.That's unreasonable, right?If you can do both, awesome.But it's really unreasonable.You should just be able to like stand and blow.You should just be able to just sit there and like holler.And that would be fine.
29:42but expecting both don't need that multi-sport athlete no thank you there's like two versionslike there's the carry underwood like really stomping around out there and then there's likethe chris martin from cold play like really skipping around out there there's and like both ofthem trouble me you know what i mean for different reasons well i really love the spin you put on stompingi could hear the w in there stompingI think my favorite type of lead singer is the one who stands mostly around the mic and just does a bunch of shimmying, shaking, or convulsing.That's my favorite, right?Like, if you can sort of move in place.
30:23Ian Curtis.Your Ian, honestly, like, James Brown most of the time is just locked in right there at the mic.And he's just, just moving.That's all he's doing.And that's, you know, like, I was a big, like, talking heads, David Byrne fan.And for the most part, David Byrne is just.sitting right there just kind of being weird and that's yeah i'm in the middle of studying joeyromone right now for halloween and like he's he the romones are a great example of just
30:53locked in like you could strap their feet into one place but they're still like doing a lot ofcool shit in that one place uh there's a lot of like there's like there's so many i've been stillstudying this guy like all of his little mannerisms and what he does like particularly how he onlyholds the microphone with his left hand umAnd like just the moments he chooses to pick up the stand.But like it's always from one place.He never traversed the stage at all.And it almost gave him more authority from that position.
31:25Like, no, I'm not going over there to you.You have to look over here at me.I think the problem, you said Chris Martin from Coldplay, he's a piano player.The problem with the piano player is they're so used to being confined, right?Like an ape, like an ape in a testing facility.Yeah, they let him loose and he had no understanding of how to control his body or what to do, right?He had no concept of the edge of the stage.There's very few people who can roam and not look absolutely ridiculous.
31:53Haley from Paramour.I was just going to say, and I was going to bring her up as the counter example.No, she's the counter example.Well, like, I think entirely it's like anything else.It depends.Instagram for, I'm not sure.I don't know exactly why, but it's decided I want to spend 10% of my time looking at Haley Williams.I don't know where it got this idea.
32:10It's an outlandish idea for it to come to that conclusion.But yeah, she's all over the freaking stage.Oh, no, not more Haley-Willia.Oh, no, damn it.More talented.But, like, I guess the styles of music I grew up on, the entire stage is the canvas.Yeah, man, but, like, they're bleeding out there for that shit.And heavy bands are all over the place.
32:39like I don't know. That's my frame of mind always isif staying there in one place looks cooland feels natural, then do that. But likeif you're the type of artist who like ends up lost in the crowd.No, yeah, that's perfectly, but that's hardcore.It fits.I mean, that's a whole other like that is. That too. It's a whole other world.That's what I'm saying. That's a totally different thing. Yeah, you're spot on.
33:03But like the carries, it's like, what are you really,what are you stomping so angrily for?You don't have to like that's not what this song's about.Also, that's clearly, if I can tell, it was like, hey, we needed to put dance into thispresentation and somebody decided that needed to happen at one point.At one point, you probably just said, should have it like, yeah, nah.You know, like Miranda Lambert, you know what Miranda Lambert's going to do?Mike on.
33:26Hey!Love you.And there's a million different, like, Karen O is doing like a whole like theatrical experience up there on stage.Yeah, yeah, yeah.It's like, that's a whole.That's a whole other character and persona she's taking on.And she's doing all kinds of crazy shit too.She'll puke.
33:44Yeah.She will puke three beers.Yeah, yeah.She's going to vomit.And you know, it'll work.So is that what Carry Underwood should try?Maybe.Instantly more interested.
33:57I've been drinking all day.Sunday night.We go live.It's a Carrie Underwood.Chris Collins for, wow.Please.Please give.a really cool mullet and start puking on stage.
34:09So we got Minecraft mic setting up the amenities so that Carrie undercan puke in them.We haven't really...We have the appropriate number of receptacles for when Carrie gets sick.This is where I'm waiting on Nick Sabin to just pick up like an absolutely likeout of left field video game hobby in his retirement.It would keep him from...It would keep him from helping to push legislation.
34:40What if it's not as out of left field like it's farming simulator?Farm sim?Yeah, it'd be fine.Whatever keeps them away from Ted Cruz.This is so hard to even imagine.Like, I could almost see, like, a fishing sim or golfing game.Almost.But if it was, like, we golf?
35:01Or a top spent, like a golden tea.The gold, like a golden tea that he has in.his house.Yeah, like not a console, but like, yeah, no, no, no, no, like with the ball.We used to have one in the office at Learfield upstairs.And I mean, I, that was just a couple of years where I didn't get nearly as muchaccomplished at work, but.Fuck it, though.
35:21Fine.Golden T's upstairs.That's your mistake.I mean, it, like, Mike Thomas into Minecraft.This is like as big of a ha as, as, I guess, about as big as you can go.But in some ways, it's not because, like, the dude.had the same job for 17 years and like it was always you know always pretty good so likei can see the in hindsight it makes sense finding like the nick saven corollary
35:48no it feels just impossible it's very difficult it was about you know because actually i think i knowwhat it would be it would be some it would have to be like tropical or some game where he was basicallya dictator he's a dictator yeah is it is it maybe just actually real gardening thoughI have 17 tomatoes hereSo these are the Cherokee purplesAnd now see these are deliciousThey're great on sandwich nowAnd I've got the romas here
36:14I use these for saucesI justHe will be autoHe will be steered in that directionBecause there is one strong advantageThat Miss Terry will favorOf this over a simulatorWhich is that he is out of the house
36:29Mm-hmmMm-hmmAlthough if it's not gardenI know what the game would be.It would be Animal Crossing.Go ahead, but I think I have it.Yeah. Okay. What do you think it is?We've seen the man dance.
36:45DDR?Yeah, Nick Saving DDR. Let's do it.I think it would be just dance and he would do the, he would doRasputin, right?Because he's going to need to move.He's not going to sit there and push buttons.But if it's if it's if it's like this counts as myexercise before lunch he can talk to itself into it being justifiable yeah i picked up the ice sparks
37:08connect from goodwill yeah and he had he can't move so get down at those recruits houses no he's gothe's got good hip fluidity yeah yeah yeah um like he likes to play basketball but i do not see himplaying 2k yeah first of all getting pissed off at like this is just coaching that's just coachinghis teammates, first of all.Secondly, you have to spend moneyon players. He's going to hate that.This instruction, one hop this time.It's right there in the lyrics.
37:44I don't know what you want out here.Two hops this time.You ain't even got to read it.It's right there.There was a certain man in Russialong ago.He was big and he was strong.And his eyes were all aglow.
37:59Could we get him in the guitar hero?like that's it's you know it's still moving um and he is kind of a rocker yeah it would confirm he isjohn tesh's guitar player that would be a good one because you get like the only person youcould really get mad at a guitar hero is yourself and i would kind of love to see what kind ofvenom he turns on his own agility when he's confronted with like a mississippi queenyeah situation yeah hopefully though it's the addition of guitar hero where they boowhen you start to suck, right?I was ungrateful.
38:34So that's what that feels like.You got to support the team.This is my first time playing Freebird.They warned me.They said, are you ready to play Freebird?And I obviously wasn't.Shows I can't do saving quietly because you have to push too much air through.You got a push.
38:52He's actually got a very breathy voice.It's just deep and loud.And I'm not pushing enough air through.I wanted to, at this point in the season, we are coming up on week five.No, we're not, babe.Is this week six?Did I do it?Did I do it?
39:11I did it.I did it.I forgot what week it was.It took me six weeks.A tradition unlike any of it.Oh, is that a record, though?Six.I made it six before I've gone.
39:21It might be.It might be.We were coming up on week six of the season.And I wanted to acknowledge.knowledge that which we recognize as garbage.Because I had for the first time, like this past weekend, I was looking and I was like, oh, I think they're garbage.I think they suck or I think that's not going to work or I think that's going to go badly.And pre-show was like, I don't know.
39:47Maybe I'm alone.And I asked the crew and they were like, yeah, no, these guys suck.We absolutely have something here because I think we have a long list of people you go.These are trash.And I think it's an emergent consensus.for instance that Cal,even by Cal standards.Poor Cal.
40:05Yeah.Yeah.Cal hired Tosh Lupoi as head coach.And I think we're used to them being kind of, you know,we're used to Cal being Cal.So everything they do is good because they're just going to end up being like five and seven.Or they're going to end up being six and six.Lovable.
40:23Everything's going to make, they're still going to remain lovable.Right.They're good.Well, like, if they lose, hilarious.They'll lose in just the most entertaining fashion.It'll be baffling.The things they do.It's not that they don't make sense.
40:36It's that sense never lived there.There's just nothing.That's why we love Cal, right?It's not even that kind of condescending like, oh man, we love you for sucking.No, no, no, no, no.We love you for the grandeur of whatever the fuck you're supposed to be.So was previous Cal garbage in the way that you're saying current?Cal is?
40:54Periodically, yes.Sometimes Justin Wilcox could put together a team that was charming because theyhave a ferocious defense and an offense that appeared to be entering a gunfight while carryinga handful of wet noodles like so like this team is non-charming garbage i would say this it's goingworse than it should sure that's just not fun to it's always the case for cal it's just not fun towatch them struggle the way they are right now they're in a conference with syracuse and theywent there and won and that's so far away mind you that's that is a different that is a differentSyracuse, that was when they had Steve Angelly. They have switched to a much more dangerous brand
41:33of a quarterback now. They have Kennesaw State's quarterback now. They're really, anyway.They do have Kennesaw State's quarterback. And man, what an adventure he is. He's awesome. Yeah. Andmy point is, Cal at Syracuse, whoever wins that, especially if Cal, that's inherently a point in theirfavor, not in terms of quality because it's Syracuse, but in terms of charmingness. So I am arguingif Cal is garbage, they are still charming.Losing to UNLV, that's funny.This is not an especially good UNLV.No.
42:08I think you've got to put Cal in the non-trash pile.Okay, so we're going to go ahead.I'm just, I'm looking for the distinction between like bad trash and fun trash,and I'm going to argue Cal is still fun trash.Okay, so we say this is all, if we say that this is all a flea market,and we're playing trash or trash,treasure, right?Yeah.
42:30None of this is good, but is it bad, good, or bad bad?This, Cal is trash that I'm going to take home and add to my collection of trash.So let's, we'll adjudicate this.This is trash.We will still pick up.Yeah, I find it difficult to turn off affection for Cal myself.Yeah, I mean, that's the thing is that I can't stop.I can't quit them.
42:52No, I have affection for them.It's just bummed me out, seeing them.It's bummed me out.because I don't particularly like the way they're struggling.And if you want to go, well, hey, what would be a good kind of struggle?Listener, I have no answer for that.But when I see it, I recognize it.I had the delusion that Sagapoletaile was good.
43:12I think that's it, actually.Like, I just, I thought he was good enough to overcome what the shortcomings would likely be for Cal.Because he just screams, like, NFL quarterback to me.And I just thought he was going to be enough to, like,even when they were losing make them competitive, but like the times that I've watchedhim so far, even he hasn't played very well. Yeah, I think that's probably, which has been thebump, the big bummer, I think. I think it's like if he's throwing for 300 yards, but they'relosing, I'm, I'm having a good time. That would be the Jared golf model, right? That would be back
43:45the old sunny dykes, Cal teams where you, where you go. Well, what's happening? You're like,a lot. Is Cal winning? No, but it's very exciting. There's a lot of things happening.This team just doesn't seem to have the kind ofdynamic that I find as entertaining as past versions of Cal dysfunction.This is the longest somebody has talked about Cal in college football media this year,and that includes people who cover Cal.Who else is at this point probably garbage?I have, so like the opposite of a trash team to keep.
44:17I have a team that merrily discarding, that would be column two and three, Michigan.It seemed that was preseason number 16.and currently ranks lower than that in the Big Tenin like every offensive categoryacross the board 17thand the 18 team conferenceand like this isthe most unwatchable football
44:43for about 55 minutesand then in the final minutesyou're going to see something you've never seen beforebut otherwisethis is justabsolutelyeven by my standardsan awful watch.
45:00Yeah.It isit is rough.It is roughwatching Michigan.And this is likeit's alsomaybe it's kind of like the J.K.S. thing where it's like a personal
45:15disappointment. It's like Kyle Whittingham for likefor years that was our guy right?Like we love the way his Utah teamsplayed and then he leaves and Utahstays UtahandAnd none of the Utah go with him.And all of his years of like, well, here's the crap I have on offense.
45:32Let's, I don't know, try this.Hey, it worked.Awesome.Right.And usually that's just like, go punch people.We were told at one point that our description of his offense is 11 fullbacks made him laugh.But like him just having apparently nothing to work with in that room full of four stars is, it's a real personal left down to see.to see what it's become of Whittingham.
45:58This is also a weird time for us historicallyto be coming to this conclusion about a Kyle Whittingham teambecause in his Utah years,this would also be during the seasonright about the point at which one of us would say,oh my God, I forgot how much we fucking love watching Utah.And instead.Well, this year, the exact same thing emerges,
46:23but it's not about Whittingham, it's about Utah.Like all of the Utah stayed, like looking up and realizing like, wait, they're, they're, oh, wow, huh?There's, you know, like, I expected Utah to, like, take a significant step back.Lost the whole offensive line.Lost a whole bunch of stuff to Michigan.But they're fine.And it is very, very strange to have assumed all along that all of that, that, that, like, you'll look up in weeks four through 10 and like, oh, I'll be damned.It stayed.
46:53It just all stayed.I think a lot of that's quarterback focused too.Like Cal, I think because once you said JKS, I was like, oh, that unlocked it.I'm very unhappy with.Are you on, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are, are you, are, did you take nitrous?It's, did you need to clear your throat.I do.Hold on.
47:11Unless I can talk like that all the time.Wow.Oh, that was real?That wasn't a glitch.No, that was real.I'm leaving all this in.I have to see if that was, if that translates to the recording.You guys heard that.
47:24Yeah.I went Elizabeth Holmes for a minute.It was like watching a tightrope.It was like, it was like watching for when a rapper takes their breath, you know?Like, when is he going to sneak in the throat clear?I'm going thoroughness.I thought I was on drugs.And I'm spencer hall.
47:40Like, why are you playing double dutch with your own lungs?Got the hexafluoride lung.Here we go.That is incredible.I wish I could talk like that all the time.I don't.No, I really hope he shows up on that.No, listen, having headphones in my ears today where I can't really wiggle away from the sound, unpleasant.
48:01Jason, I think we need to redo the voice of Satan in your head and hell is a world without you now.Yeah.Special edition.Hello.The, I think it's quarterback focused.Can you see here come Santa Claus in that voice?I will try.Hello.
48:18We don't have the, we don't have the rights to that.We can't do it.Oh, shit.But like it is.reason we're not doing it, not because of the nightterrors. Watching BryceUnderwood suck this much, sucks.It sucks like Bryce Underwood
48:31is obviously reallytalented and I don't think peoplewho follow this team very closely even know what'swrong with everything.I don't think Whittingham does.I don't think Whittingham does.If you are a collegefootball parasocial media fan, there was
48:47a series of text messages allegedlyfroma former tight end andI was talking about what might be wrong with all of this.And he's like, yeah, like, he put the, he pinned the failure on the coaching staff being very stodgy and not really sort of trusting Bryce Underwood, not giving him any choices out there.And sure, maybe that's possible.I know whatever they're doing has taken this prototypical dual threat quarterback and made him look like Jordan Jefferson.It's not good.
49:18And really, you say the last good things that happened to this team in like the last five minutes.of the game. That's when things get exciting.It's never good when I'm talking aboutyour offense and I say, yeah, the furtherhe gets away from the coaching, the better he looks.And that's, I don'tknow whether that's Underwood.I don't know whether that's Beck, their offensive
49:36coordinator. I don't know whether that's Whittingham,putting his reins on the whole thing.It sucks. It sucks to watch.Because, like, you watch the Minnesota game.To be fair, that was awesome. That's exactly whatMinnesota. Like, that's Minnesota.What does a Minnesota victory under PJ Flicklook like? And I'm like, you hope the other team
49:52throws you the ball three times.It was twice in a muff punt in three downs.They're in three series.But watching that.Spires sepul.Yeah.You just know they have no hope.You just watch it and you go, oh yeah, they're not scoring.
50:05There's no.And they believe that.You go, man, a team needs to believe.Be more specific.Michigan believes they will not score.Like the minute they walk out there that you can just tell, they're like, yeah,this shit ain't going off.And they're right.
50:18Yeah.And they're right.Like it's predestined that they will not score.Who else is garbage?South Carolina's garbage.Who's last place in the SEC right now?Give me that trash right there.I mean like here's delicious garbage.
50:37If they fire their dumbass coach and like put Dylan Stewart back on the field, like yeah,might not be trash anymore.But as it stands right now, they're in their own damn way and they're trash.Another team that I'm personally let down by.Because even though they're the rival team of the team that I really,for I loved my grandmother.She was the most special person to me, and she loved her damn game cox.And she would have been so excited about Lenora Sellers after his freshman year,
51:05and she would be so sad every fucking Saturday because of this, and it's not okay.This is how I know you're a special kind of bad.Who's the leading rushing offense in the Southeastern Conference right now?It's South Carolina.They have run for more yards, an average four yards.than anyone else.And they can't will fucking win.Maybe they should knock that off.
51:30Settle down.You're winded.You're running too far.Something else.They start every game kicking someone's ass.There's a team with arguably,honestly, barely even,it's hard to argue against them
51:46having the best athlete at three of the mostimportant positions in the entire country.And every single fucking game is the same.They sprint out to a lead and then fall the fuck apart.And cough up the ball.They are next to last in terms of turnover margin in the Southeastern Conference.Guess who's number 16?That's right.
52:10John Mateer.I'm not even going to say Oklahoma.It's John Mateer by himself.Yes.Give me South Carolina.That is trash.I will be adding to my collection.This is a team.
52:22He's the trash man.Built for entertainment.I can rely on them to do spectacular things.Hey, look at, listen, if you want, this is South Carolina,let's like, to be a little kinder than trash, they're the jobber.Do you want to have an incredible game?Do you want to get put over in the ring?South Carolina, when you hurt them, they're going to look like they're real hurt.
52:44Well, like, I think that's a good point.Like, you want your opponent to get their shit in, so like they look formidable.But you want to get the pin, right?Like Kentucky, ranked team, a win over South Carolina,is like, okay, well, you're ranked.They're not.That's what you should do, right?Regardless of the power ratings, I'm just saying.
53:00But if it's a comeback, right, then, oh, the resilience of Kentucky.Same thing from Mississippi State.Same thing for Bama.Like, Bama beating South Carolina by 30, whatever.Who cares?Bama giving them a touchdown first, right?Yeah.Then it's like 42 unanswered or whatever.
53:21I'm listening. I'm listening.Yeah.I think, listen, they're an important part of the ecosystem is what I'm saying.A lot of times we point out animals in the ecosystem where they're like, man, everything eats them.Yeah, they're important.They're delicious.They're absolutely.They are chickens.
53:36Oh, so good.Yeah.I want to add Clemson to the pile too, though, just to stay in the state of South Carolina.I've watched so much of the football.Now, I want to point out that I think, and I know I'm saying this a week after they gave a 51 points to Ellis.you have 41 points to Miami.This is actually a pretty good defense.They have what I think is the best cornerback in the country in Ashton Ampton.
54:03Like Malachi Tony did not go off against Clemson because Ashton Hampton, for the most part, shut him the fuck down.Like he was not a difference maker in that game.The difference maker was Darian Mintsa.And they have a freshman quarterback who Jason mentioned he was, I think he said on the show,they should have a better one. I think likeTate Reynolds is one ofthe better freshman quarterbacksif not like top three
54:29freshman quarterback in the country right now.He just happens to play behind an offensive line thatI need to get my statistics out now.I deleted this skeet yesterday because I didn'twant Old Missdefenders in mymentions but Matt Lukeis a born loser. As a player
54:45at Mississippi, they were26 and they were 26and 20. Mid asfuck. This is during, I believe, the David Cutcliffe era, maybe before the David Cutcliffe era,but as a player, they didn't do much. Then he went on to be a grad assistant there. They wenteight and four, the definition of mid. At Murray State, as an offensive line coach, 10 and 11,and his teams were 10 and 11 at Murray State, ultimately ass. Then, this is actually underCutcliff as offensive linemen, our offensive line coach in OC, 24 and 34. Then at Tennessee, went 19 and 8.
55:21an asterisk behind this because there are going to be a couple coaches that pop up that get the bestout of Matt Luke.Philip Fulmer is the first one, 19 and 8.Still, though, by the standard of where Tennessee had been prior to Matt Luke's arrival,this was not a good trend that was happening.I'm not trying to trigger anything, Holly.No, I'm backing you up.All right.
55:42Now, he moves on to Duke to David Cutcliffe's staff, 15 and 33 while on the staff at Duke.This is a David Cutcliffe-led Duke team that would later on make the ACC championship game.He had a lot of success at Duke.I think Cutcliffe is a really, really good coach, who even he could not get the best out of Matt Luke.Then Matt Luke goes back to Ole Miss, and as an O-Line coach and head coach goes 54 and 46.Never really over a period of time accomplishing much as an O-C, O-Line coach, whatever it was.Under Hugh, there's a couple years of success.but ultimately going back to mediocrity,
56:20especially as he's the head coach.Then my second asterisk,which is Kirby Smart at UGA,they were 22 and 3 during his time there,but I think Kirby Smart is a good enough coachto totally get rid of the necessary suckthat Matt Luke has.Yeah, because they might have been like 24 and 1.
56:41Right, yeah.Now we move on to Clemson,who had reached Heights unknown prior to Matt Luke's arrival.They had started to trend downwards,though, I think we can all agree, but Clemson was still a 10-win, 11-win team for that downward trend.Up until his arrival in 2024, they have been 20 and 12 since, which is a marked, marked downward spiral,including a 7 and 6 season last year, Davos-Weney's worst since 2010.So, Ole Miss total ass factor is 112 and 104 when associated with Matt Luke.
57:13Before he went to UGA, all non-Ole-Miss schools, he went 45.and 52 at. Now,his pre-UGA total for all jobs was156 and 156, the exactsame amount of wins as losses,which gets you fucking nowhere.His all-time suck factor is 198 and 171,which I ask you, how does that make him the highest
57:35paid offensive line coach in the nation?God. Wow.Folks.You can email Michael Serberat 38 Godfreyat Gmail.And my anger stems from him being available today to the press and then talking about what a joy it is to see these young men grow together.Well, the thing we got is that we're all going to get to do it.
57:59We're going to get better and we're get better together.Motherfucker, I understand that you're playing two freshmen, but what about all the other fucking dudes you've had for three years who are not prepared to play that now you're letting 18-year-olds play?Server, he's also your assistant head coach.Is that right?So blessed.So blessed.He's two.two of the disciples, right?
58:20He's two.Right.That's honestly, that's why Davo hired him.He's like, Matthew and Luke on staff.Yeah.Bring him.Yeah.I, I just like, I wasn't good at offensive line.
58:33Like, it was good enough to start in the seventh and eighth grade at center.But like, I would have never started in high school ball.I would have obviously never met, but like, I can just see the problems.Like, I see the problems and I know how they're correctable.And it's clearly that you're not telling.It's clear that you're like, it's fine.you're going to get better.Watch what you did they're wrong,
58:49but you're not telling them how to correct itbecause they're doing it over and over and over and over again.And now we are trashed because of it.We might win a lot of games still to go because the ACC is so mid,but like we're trash.Yeah.And that's not okay.We're trashed with a lot of good players,
59:04but because of specifically one part of the football field,five guys who are extremely important because of those five not being coached well,they're talented.They're like the thing about the Miami game is that,we didn't lose to a more talented team.Clemson is as talented.They're not as good as Miami.And that goes to dudes that you're paying a lot more money than the players on average.
59:27I call your offensive line five guys because they're five guys who are soggy and overpriced.Yes.This is another way of, by the way, we need to put this on the chart.This is another way that the Old Miss Mississippi State Egg Bowl, where a player peed, pretended to pee, hasimpacted the universe negatively. We'll put Michael Serber's personal happiness as another long.Yeah, honestly, Serber caught the worst of you here. Like, yeah, you got Matt Luke.That old sprawling chain of events all led to Serber being stuck with Matt Luke.Another echo down the halls of history. I get to watch Rome die on so many fronts, my country and
01:00:11my team. Like, Clemson's offensive line, somebody said, somebody said on Reddit or something, if you did,Are they sure talk about Clemson?Well, Clemson's fascinating, okay?Yeah, fascinating.Like, this offensive line has done shit that looks like the video game doesn't know what it's doing.I went to, speaking about offense, a team I've mentioned, a team that, honestly, I trashed this team before the season begins, and I'm shoving them down further as far away from me as I possibly can.Michigan State depart from me.This shit is nasty.
01:00:40Oh, this is the one I was going to take.You suck.You're bad.You shouldn't have done this.I don't want to get any of it.You got maybe worse.There was a guy there for two years.You got rid of them.
01:00:52You brought in an asshole who sucks.And now you suck.Three straight, not particularly competitive losses.Lost to Wisconsin.Luke Fickle was trying extremely hard a week ago to get fired.He was so trying to get fired.Oh, my God.Unfortunately, his tight ends can't be tackled.
01:01:10But, yeah, Pat Fitzgerald.I've said it a million times on this show.One of the most overrated coaches in football history.doing forever just enough to become a legend at Northwestern who was instantly surpassed by his successorand is like demonstrating not cut out for for modern college football.Nope. He sucks.I have some garbage I want to pull closer to me.I have garbage that I'm taking home and it's this.
01:01:35Okay.Listen, cuddle up because we had big expectations for this team.But all they do is they make the other team look really good.right just good enough they make you look like a champion a 41 38 loss to old miss to open theseason for instance which was thrilling and led you led you to think oh man i bet these guys gota little something going on right might have found a quarterback has got a little something to himdefense was doing enough i could watch this as like an offense first high point totalkind of participant throughout the season a lot of shootouts a lot of fun and i wasn't wrong but they
01:02:16kept not winning some of these did beat smu but but who the fuck knows really beating sm u is just a matter ofdoes kevin jennings feel like letting you win today you got you you you won the various coin flipsthat yeah you won the coin flip you and them being them five touchdowns are going to happenhow many of them will kevin jennings give to the opponent that's what that equals um these areall by the way complimentary just see hashtag complimentary whenever i'm talking about kevin jenningsyou're what I love about college football in every single way,including the rank on predictability of your play.Love it.
01:02:54But then loses by three points to Wait Forest,which again, that's a respectable loss.But you can only have so many respectable losses.Remember, this is also the same Wake Forest teamthat put the punishment of God himself upon Stanford University at lastthis past weekend, beating them 57 to 3.Three.They decoded the bomb that is Davis Warren, who can't turn the ball over, but they managed to make him.
01:03:21They whatever, by the way, do you know who Wake Forest offensive coordinator is?It's Rob Ezel.Yes.Oh, shit.It's that Rob Ezel.Since doing a lighthearted imitation of Nick Saban as a bit player on Alabama's title teams, he has gotten two things.One, a little bit of dignified gray at the temples.He's doing the Reed Richards.
01:03:42It looks really good.And the second thing he's gotten is the unholy ability to dismantle Stanford football teams with an offense.So maybe that lost awake is still respectable.But then this happened this past weekend.You gave Dave Dorr on a lifeline.Oh, no.Yeah.And you lost 31, 28 to NC State.
01:04:07You have a quarterback who's good, but not good enough to be an absolute difference maker on offense.And he pulls all the levers right, but he's never going to make the machine sing.Lincoln Keynes is pretty much, I think, where you've seen him, he's like, every now that you see a quarterback and you go, that was a great high school athlete and they're a good college athlete.And that's about, we've seen it.Here's your plateau.That's pretty much what they've got there.And then, then you have no past defense whatsoever.None.
01:04:39So this?Sorry, I cut you off.Oh, no.That is the end.I will say this.I think they're very handy.I think you absolutely need Louisville because Louisville is going to give you a very tight game because, as you noticed, those three losses came by a combined nine points.Yeah.
01:04:58Like this team is the, well, is it, 22-ish or whatever that was Nebraska of the season?Nobody will ever replicate that team's achievements.No.Nebraska, we talked nice about you about an hour ago, so it's time to talk about you the way we usually do by just bringing up that time you did that.But like 12 points away from being undefeated with a win over Ole Miss and SMU and Wakefield, like three good teams.Yeah.And like this was for even after the loss of Ole Miss, you know, this after they beat SMU, this was talked about as like, okay, this might be the ACC's second best team.And here's the thing. They might be. But also they're two and three.
01:05:36Yeah, they're two and three. This is this is, I, I feel.feel this is all leading up to me saying this, best two and three team in the nation,like 100%. Amazing two and three team. They might end up being like the best five-win team.I just looked that up. If this pattern continues. For the computers, the two best two and threeteams are basically tied Louisville and South Carolina.Delicious barbage. But, but, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. I should include Michigan.South Carolina's path for the rest of the season varies so wildly from what Louisville has tofor the remainder of the season.
01:06:09Oh. How so, Michael?Louisville has the easiest roadprobably left in the ACC of maybe anybody.Florida State at Syracusehome to Stanford, so they getStanford at home.South Carolina. At Tech, North Carolina.They get Pitt at home, so their toughest
01:06:26game is a home game, and then at Kentucky,which is going to be tough to end the season, but won't haveany bearing on their ability to get to Charlotte.So South Carolina,their easiestgame left is at Arkansas.which is basically that's the same team as you,but you're going to their house.
01:06:41That's their easiest games to left.The road games, Florida, Oklahoma, Arkansas, Clemson,and one of your home games are spending on Georgia.Then you also got Tennessee and A&M.Like, you could lose all of those games.Yeah.I think that Louisville, it just got even more volatile.You say, okay, but it looks easy, easier than that.
01:07:05It could be bad.I think it just got more volatile.Tol because Syracuse might have found a quarterback, one who I have no idea what Amari is going to do play to play.Right. So we might.Yeah.Like imagine if you were like, hmm, this is an element that's difficult to work with in the lab.What if we made it more dangerous and took fewer safety precautions?Introducing Louisville.
01:07:28Introducing Louisville.Yeah.That's who fucking knows.Florida State never underestimate a Mike Norville's team and their desire to keep Mike Norville.Norville employed.Well, and they potentially, they have found a little bit of something, like last week thatseemed to be working pretty well.And like sometimes with a team that's that got that much talent but just isn't very good,
01:07:51like you just need that little bit of juice to make you believe that you are maybe a littlebetter than you are.I would simply run the quarterback.Yeah.Seems to be working.Seems to be.How many times do you have score, he had five touchdowns in that game?I'm convinced Mike Norville's profit sharing.
01:08:07He says, guys.listen, my back's against the wall.If you get me out of this, each of you gets an additional $5,000.Like in, totally in.Yeah, you could do that with like, what, 500 grand?Yeah, sure.We got that.We'll do it.
01:08:22That is, that concludes my list of teams that are various degrees of garbage here at this point in week six of the college football season.I think it's time to do a little podcast business.Yeah, that's certainly not an exhaustive list of teams that are garbage,but those are all the ones that we will get to today.Let's do a quick business and a quicks game.Quick bit, yeah, quick business.Podcast business, quickest business,podcast business, super fast, podcast business, yeah.
01:08:53Folks, our patreon.com slash shutdown forecast.Patreon is where we put up AfterDark.Patreon.com slash shutdown fullcast.We have AfterDark there.We also have a whole bunch of other stuff there.And if something goes completely fucking crazy, we'll get to it there.dollars a month and you get well over four hours per every period there in terms of audio that goesup pretty early Sunday morning.
01:09:19Homefield is proudly sponsor of this podcast.They make clothes, great clothes, the most premium clothes in the world.They make college sports apparel using cool old logos.Their designs are great.Right now I have a Youngstown State Penguins shirt that surfs up 87.Got the snowboarding penguin in honor of the former FCS Titan.They're still an FCS.They're just not that large anymore.
01:09:46Homefield just launched their Can't Miss Kickoff line to style your game day.Can't Miss Kickoff is still going.It's presented by Modelo.And up next, they are headed to Tennessee next week.So be sure and head out to see them.Look for the details on their social, especially their new event page, Homefield, IRL.And either way, you should go to their website.For a long time, we had a segment on the show.
01:10:06we would literally just look at their website each week.You can take 20% off your first purchase of the world's greatest college sports apparelwith code fullcast 20 at checkout, homefield app.com or on the home field app.Next.Channel 6, that is the newsletter that Holly Anderson and I write put together produce for the low price of $10 a month.You get two, two things a week that includes the top whatever, which is our recap reviewof the college football weekend.You will also this week get our...
01:10:36continued foray into the marriage of football and astrology done by Jamie. She publishesthose on Thursdays, sometimes Friday, of every week where we are doing exceptionally well onpicks because the stars demand it. That is channel dash 6.ghost.io. Subscribe. At work, I write the untilSaturday newsletter. It is the world's biggest college football newsletter. And honestly,like, it's kind of funny because of it, it's so big that I am the most,Red College Football Writer, which is pretty funny.It's a really funny thing to think about.But I do a pretty good job at it.
01:11:13Next.Killer Ants is the band I'm in.They have a Z at the end of their name, and you can listen to our music.We have a show on October 17th coming up at the Den and Winston-Salem with Cogs and the Stray Lines.Stray Lions are going to be on the road from Roanoke, Virginia.So come on out and support them if you're in the area.It should be a super cool show.Then we're kind of done with Killer Ant Shows for the years.
01:11:35We get ready to make our next record.Oh yeah, I have a record, by the way.You can go buy it on Bancamp, killer ants.bancamp.com.Polly, you have an announcement to makeregarding this quarter's donation.Yeah, we were able to send through your boundless generositya $550 donation to Alianza trans Latinx.
01:11:57We did that last night.As you know, we give 100% of the money we receivefrom our PTKU merch collection availableat the shut down full store at pre-owned a airboats.com real website, not a trap,to a different trans rights, trans advocacy, trans support group that rotates every quarter.Q4 this year, we had been on a little bit of a West Coast swing for a while, Midwestern swinglast year. I had the bright idea a couple weeks ago of, hey, we should look for something inNew England in honor of what was at the time undefeated UMass. I think a one loss, UMass is still
01:12:35a mighty thing, worthy of celebration.And a reader suggested to us harbor camps.You can learn more about them at harbor camps.org.They are a summer camp for trans kids, gender non-conforming kids.And there is a special kind of twist to this one.Because of the rise in anti-trans rhetoric and anti-trans laws,in this country, this camp, which is located,in New Hampshire, which is close to Massachusetts, in my opinion, has had to employ 24-7 security personnel
01:13:13since the 2024 election. They have, as you might guess, also become ineligible for federalgrants because we live in hell and we are governed by the worst people on the fucking planet.As such, they have a specific security fund where you can donate to the safety measures that have been put inthis place.for these kids.So we, while we have been,while we are in our,what we're about to enter our third year,
01:13:43it'll be, we're about to have finished uptwo full years of running these fundraisers.We have never gotten to do one that was quite so literallyon a mission to physically protect trans kids.So from now through December 31st, 2026,100% of the money that you spend on PTKU merchat pre-owned airboats.com will be donated to Harborby us at the end of the year.
01:14:07You can still buy other merch that is full cast branded.That goes to us.That's cool.We like it.If you only have a few dollars, we would prefer that you spend itsupporting our Blue Sharks.We have two new merch items that will be up on the site by the time you see this tomorrow.One of them is by request,
01:14:23another continuation of the Yacht Club design that we had on the beach towel this summer.That is a PTKU crew magnet commemorating 2026 fall break.It's always, it's always.always ocean time at PTKU, which is canonically in Maine, you know, just another, just anotherNew England tie in there. And we have by overwhelming demand introduced our first travel tumbler.Is that a wineglass that is specifically designed to go in the car? Let's say on a boat, on a boat.Pre-owned airboats.com. Please help us for the next three months, support the kids and staff ofharborcants.org. Thank you. Go Blue Sharks.
01:15:04And that concludes podcast business.How's that for quick?Let's look at the schedule.By the time that you hear this sound of my voice,Southern Miss and Troy will have already played.I am a genius in taking my shot.Troy 34, Southern Miss 13.And that's exactly what happened.
01:15:26Folks tonight, you're going to see what happens when Amari Otam leaves a programbecause he is no longer kinestate's quarterback.and I am happy that he is getting money elsewhere,but otherwise not happy about it.Thursday, USF finally took their first loss.They're probably going to take another.That to 4-2 would be a bit more accurateof a record for this team in terms of their quality.
01:15:51They'd been kind of skating.Friday, Louisville, FSU.There we go.Get out of the way.This Friday is fucking loaded, man.Iowa at Washington.What's that?going to look like.
01:16:05Washington, a team thatmuch like USFhad we more time, they probablywould have been filed into one binor another in our garbage segment.I found myselfon Friday nightslooking forward to
01:16:23and enjoying the ACCBig Ten double-letter.Like I hate saying, like I said itout loud lastweek to Chelsea.I was like, Chelsea, I like Friday night college football this year, I think.As a long time Friday night bandwagon driver, welcome.Iowa State, BYU.
01:16:48Yes, yes.Hey, man, that's something else too.Aden, Aden Flora.Get the fuck out of Aden Flora's way.Aden Flora threw two TDs and rushed for three more.This past weekend against West Virginia,A former walk-on running back who was also a high school quarterback,who they just use in the red zone because why not as a quarterback slash running back?
01:17:12Aden Flora runs like somebody who is attempting to complete every task on his list,and it's 5.15 p.m.and he just picked the kids up in the minivan.He is outstanding.And if you watch him with his offensive lineman, you can tell they love himbecause he looks like a little chihuahua surrounded by Great Daines.And he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah.And they're just like, yeah, I love this dude.
01:17:31And he's going up against the team whose quarterback is a fullback.Bear Bachmeier.Also, Iowa State is probably as good as Penn State, despite losing their roster to Penn State.Indiana is going to Nebraska, doing some Green Lantern stuff.That's like, Indiana is a seven and a half point favorite, and it's like, that's pretty fair.Which, it feels bizarre and strange to say, like, oh, good for Nebraska when Indiana is coming to town.But, yes, that's the state of the world we live in.is good for Nebraska.
01:18:04Probably going to be competitive against Indiana.Texas,and Missouri,okay.Predict whatever you think is going to happen there.You're wrong.I will predict,by the way,
01:18:16going back to the Nebraska thing,watch that for onespectacular natural phenomenon,which is this,adult quarterback,Anthony Calandria.That's right.Responsible,
01:18:26judicious.Mature.Mature.Mature.Mature.Not better.Not better.you
01:18:31mature.Adam and Eve presents.Yeah.Veteran.Veteran?Savvy?Savvy?Yeah, I will call it this.
01:18:41Old?Old. Yes.No longer the freewheelingVirginia Cavalier,Anthony Colandrea.UNC Pitt,again, Arizona, West Virginia,Wake Forest, NC State,
01:18:51like all of these games are like.ACC going the fuck off.Yeah, all these games are spiritually ACC,regardless.SAC State, Bowling Green.That's a potential last place.game. South Carolina, Florida. For South Carolina to be up.21 points. Yeah. And then down 21 points. 18 nothing, something like that.
01:19:08And the next thing you know, shit. UMass, uh, favorite.Favorite hit 5-1. Red River again, again.Like, this is the thing. Like everyone thinks their team's rivalry is like the most chaotic.No, no. This is the most chaotic rivalry. Texas, like Oklahoma. Historically, you can look at the results.You can look at what was expected to happen. Um, this is, this is,the game that everyone thinks every other rivalry is.Notre Dame Stanford I feel pretty certain about.I feel that's, I'm not feeling a lot of mystery there.
01:19:38I am seeing one team on this schedule that is gunning harder for the head of their opponentthan any other team on this day.And that is UCLA at Oregon.I do not think you have a team that wants to beat the other team's ass more badly than UCLAbecause this team is very focused.they do one thing, they run that way.That's it. They're going that way.And they're playing an Oregon team that I think they think is very getable at this point
01:20:09and not expecting them to compete like they will.So that's the game I want to watch most on this day.I think that's a great choice.Virginia Tech Cal again, again.There's so much ACC.There's so much ACC.What do you want us to say about any of this?We out here.
01:20:28honestly Tennessee Arkansas unless you Kentucky what are we Maryland Ohio State I feel pretty confident inUMB Memphis we got bones what do you feel confident in about that what Maryland Ohio Statewhat where's the confidence there in Maryland Ohio State but huh that's the most confidence inducing thingI've ever seen okay I was just saying what are you confident about that it will be a slaughteryes okay okay oh what did you think what did you think I was saying I heard the words Maryland andconfidence in the same sentence.And that really, that was a car crash in my mind.I meant the outcome. Not that I am confident in both of
01:21:04these teams. That could be like a professional panicattack? Yeah, it did. No, no. I hit it.I was like, whoa, no, no, no. I'm glad weyou are confident. You are confidentin Maryland too suck. Yes. I amconfident in their performanceand what it will be. Yes.North Dakota State is a favorite at UNLV, which just beat
01:21:20Cal. If that doesn'tsum up Cal, thatlike beating, beating a power fourteam does not get you favored overan FCS roster.I'm aware they're an FBS. Check back.They have not upgraded their roster whatsoever.Georgia BAM is happening.
01:21:35USC Penn State is a thing that like,oh man, if USC had lost to Washington,this would be just an incredible bad feelings game,but it's still going to be.Syracuse Virginia again.She should just swap coaches and see what happens.Yeah, it'd be neat.Fuck it. I mean, Matt Campbell's already got the wardrobe
01:21:52from the time of Iowa State.Virginia could be the launching point for Syracuse to yourand this kind of like secondBrett this Brettor second win that they've gotten this season nowyeah like they get the win hereand they might be off todoing a little bit of something for Fran this year
01:22:11yeah yeah I mean honestlySyracuse they have my favorite quarterbackand my favorite head coach so I'mreally invested in thisLSU atLSU at Kentuckywatch your asswell like this is the watch your ass
01:22:26special of the week LSUKentucky is so fucking gameAnd I don't even think it's thisI don't even think this is like a surprise anymoreThat they're going to be competitiveFroggy hostile upFor this gameKentucky is getting very
01:22:40They are battle testedThey are getting very very goodAt very very good at what they doSo watch thatWatch that spaceI think Kansas Utah is the closest thingWe have to a lost team this weekBut that's not that far
01:22:54It's 10 o'clockYou know it's it won'twon't happen every single week. This is fine.Boise State, Fresno State is the late-nighter.That's the milk can game. And that should be a really good one.They're both four and one. That's a decent test for the Broncos on theCW, no less. I think we found game of the week.1015 on the CW, Boise State at Fresno?
01:23:18The shutdown forecast after dark and the CW are going liveat the same time. What more do you need to know?When did American culture peak during this game?during the forecast after dark.Why doesn't the CWhave a 330 game? This is fucked.330 a.m. I agree.We got wall-to-wall
01:23:38CW. We got to bring in the Raycomlore here, or the Jefferson Pilot Harrodge. It'd be like a341 game. Yes. Yeah, 100%.I'm just looking at this shocked and trying to figure out whatthey're going, because they start at noon with NC State Wake,then they skip the 330 and then come back at 7 and 1030.they probably bought a movieon television in between those
01:24:00I was gonna say they probably they probably boughtsomething they're like hey man we got a bunch ofBill Dance Outdoors reruns that we pay forYeah you gotta do multiple things thoughYou can't just show a movie in thatThree and a Half hour window likeThat's the window for a football gameLike that's the that's the only thing
01:24:17That's the last three yesTo necessitate an entire networkDo you know what it is?Episode of Charmed episode of CharmedEpisode of Charmed episode of Charmed episode of CharmedI'm looking at my guide.Yeah, it does.But yeah, this is also, last thing, P.J. Fleck, on the loose, and West Lafayette.
01:24:37Two up-and-coming teams here, Minnesota and Purdue.That is Purdue coming off of.You eat animals while they're still alive?Me too.Look at this.It's an elite Big Ten team.Purdue, they won their last game.They're going where?
01:24:53Oh, wrong Lafayette.The West one.Sorry.I was like, why is Minnesota going to play the Cajuns?Never mind.I don't think Purdue eats animals while they're still alive.Sorry about that.PJ Fleck gets there.
01:25:06He's like, where's the Jamalaya?
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