Shutdown Fullcast - ADRIFT ON A WINDLESS JULY SEA (SEND HELP)

Episode Date: July 29, 2026

0:15 "Why are you scared? I love games!"6:37 "Why can't I do this?"7:41 "By the way, Ryan, fuck you"9:04 "I wanna die, this is awful"9:34 "I ask the questions here, shut up"11:03 "Y'all need to cheer up"11:38 "No one wins this game"13:13 "What is the question again?"15:55 "You've led us all in circles!"17:35 "Fuck no, I have honor!"19:31 "I will never surrender"24:32 "... did that team have a quarterback?"25:22 "It is right, but it's not correct"25:55 "Someone's asking me to take a lifeline right now so this will be over. No."28:33 "No, we have to keep going"31:03 "We got a long way to go"31:38 "Saboteur!"Breaking LeBron James news, to some of you, surelyIntroducing the Monster Energy Independent, whether they like it or notMike Lombardi's here to do two things: pan-fry his brain on Instagram and cure impostor syndromeThe Shutdown Fullcast is on Patreon. This is how we pay our producers, and occasionally ourselves. If you'd like to help with that, give us $4 a month (or a larger, funnier number of your choosing) and we'll give you bonus episodes. As of this recording we have delivered 29 (twenty-nine!!) bonus episodes since launching in August 2025. We think this is a pretty good deal (for you)The Shutdown Fullcast is produced by delicious and energizing Monster Energy Master Chief Michael Ray Surber Fullcast theme variant arranged and performed by Anjuli ShahDID YOU KNOW: Spencer and Holly write Channel 6, a year-round newsletter that is mostly about football, until it’s notBefore the world ends (again), treat yourself to Jason’s critically praised novel and other workTravel in your mind palace to Phantom Island, Ryan’s other show with Steven Godfrey, which is not a college football show because another simply cannot existCheck out Surber’s band, Killer Antz (new album out now!)Purchase exclusive Shutdown Fullcast gear at preownedairboats.com, real website, not a trapThrough September 30, all proceeds from our PTKU merch collection will be donated to Alianza Translatinx

Ryan's laugh was so evil because that was so good oh my god speaking of evil laughs who is ready to play our game Ryan has a game and I'm scared no it's going to be fun why are you scared I love games let's it's going to be fun all right I'm going to explain the game very quickly for you for you all the participants who don't really know what we're playing and the audience it's very simple each of you server, Holly, Jason, and Spencer, you'll each be given five questions. In some ways, you're all getting the same questions, but the particulars of the questions vary based on your chosen paths. What path am I talking about? Well, I emailed all of you yesterday and said, hey, I need you to pick from the following list of four coaches. Nick Saban, Davos-Swinney, Kirk Farrants, and Matt Campbell.

And I set this up to incentivize responsiveness to email. So the first person to pick, in this case, Holly, got to pick from the whole list. The last person, Jason, no shade at all, got whoever was left. In this case, Jason got Kirk Ferrence. And I'm happy to report. Fowl you pick. Everybody responded. So even Spencer succeeded at this part of the game.

And I wanted, hey, big thumbs up to you, bud. Big thumbs up because I was waiting to see if it would happen. The goal of this game is very simple. This is a race. The race is won by whoever is the first person that answers all five of their questions correctly. And you answer until you miss. So in theory, this game could be over very quickly. But once you miss, you have to wait for everybody's turn to come around again until you get to go.

I have determined- It is a little taskmaster. It is a little taskmaster. It is a little game changer. it is little just I have a broken brain and you all have to deal with it. I have determined based on my own subjective assessment, who got the easiest and hardest paths. Holly, I think you got the easiest path without meaning to. Awesome.

Server, I think you got the second easiest path. Jason, I think you got the second hardest path. And Spencer, I think you got the hardest path of all. Now, that does mean, Spencer, you're going to get to go first. That seems only fair. Jason will go second. Server will go third. Holly, you're going to go last.

But again, it's simply because you have the, what I think is the easiest path to win this game. Now, you each have two tools at your disposal as we go. You may one time ask Blue Sky. You can ask Blue Sky for the answer to your question. What do I need with Simpsons Gifts? You don't have to. I'm just saying that you can. I can be like, hey, I have a question about Matt Campbell. I'll get like a picture of a soup can back and I'll be like, I want to fucking kill all of you.

Okay. You don't have to use it. You don't have to use it. Okay, you can ask Grock. Yeah, you can definitely ask Grock and maybe you'll get Matt Campbell with a racist boobes. Who's to say? Uh, your other option, which you may find more palatable, for any, for one time, you may request that I give you multiple choice answers to the question. All of these are open-ended where I'm going to ask you a question and you have to supply the answer. But you may one time ask for it to be multiple choice. You could in theory

combine these two. I wouldn't personally recommend it. But if you get to the end of the game and you're like, this last one is killing me and I need both help? Great. You can do that. Does anybody have any questions before we dive into this? So we have the social media lifeline and we have the multiple choice lifeline. Correct. Yes. And you can use each of those one time. asking LinkedIn. You can, you know what? Yes, you can ask LinkedIn instead of Blue Sky if you want. It will be a while before you get your response.

Yeah. Okay. Assuming no further questions, Spencer, you're up first. You chose Matt Campbell. I did. Spencer, who's the last team to beat Matt Campbell? Briefly. I'm assuming none of you are going to cheat and look these answers.

up. Otherwise, the game is extremely easy. If you did cheat, there's no way I can know. It's the perfect crime. Ah, man, I even forget who Iowa State closed with last year, so I'll just say Kansas State. That is incorrect. Jason, you chose Kirk Ferrence. Who's the last team that beat Kirk Ferrence? It wasn't Vanderbilt, that's for sure. Couldn't possibly have been Nebraska. But who did they play before those two? Hmm. This is going to take a while. Minnesota.

Minnesota is incorrect. Serber, you pick Davosweeney. I think you may get this question, but we're going to see. Who's the last team that beat Davosweeney? Penn State. Penn State is correct. Serber, you're on to question two. I'm on a roll.

Who's the last coach that beat Penn State? Yeah, I don't know who they play at the end of the season. And probably doesn't matter. The last team that beat Penn State is PJ Fleck. That's incorrect. We'll come back to you, though. You've moved one step down the order. So we repeat the same question until we get it.

Until you get it. Yes, that's why it's a race to see who can get to the end. Holly. It's horrifying. Holly, you pick Nick Sabin. Who's the last team that beat Nick Sabin? Michigan. That's correct.

Holly, who is the last coach that beat Michigan? Shit. Sark, right? Sark is correct. Okay. Holly, who's the last quarterback who beat Steve Sarkesian? The last quarterback. I feel like I'm uniquely poorly suited for this because I have a terrible head for dates.

Oh, oh, oh, oh. What's his fucking name? He's from, I can tell you his hometown and his name has just fled. He's from Tiger. what what's the fucking georgia quarterback's name the current one why can't i do this this is embarrassing holly i'm gonna give you 10 seconds i want to say strom thurmond and i know that that's not his name and i also know who strong thurmond is five seconds holly oh this is so annoying what's his fucking name i know what fucking high school he went to okay holly i'm sorry that's incorrect oh i'm terrible

at this we're gonna come back to you though you've moved two pegs down the board you're almost halfway there. I'll move your pegs. Spencer. You stupid fuck. Spencer, who's the last team that beat? Wait, wait. So now I have to sit here and think about who that quarterback is. Correct. Oh, no. Yeah. And also by going by going three steps down the ladder, you have given your competitors a little preview of the road that lies ahead for them. Oh, my wheels are

spinning. Fuck. Spencer, you're still on step one. Who's the last team that beat Matt Campbell? Remember, you have two lifelines you can use. I don't need it this time. Arizona State. Arizona State is correct. By the way, Ryan, fuck you. Okay. All right. This is so rude.

Spencer, who's the last coach that beat Arizona State? Hmm. Is it Brennan? That is incorrect. Jason. Who's the last team that beat Kirk Ferrence? So Wisconsin was asked, but they had two surprisingly good wins near the end of the season. Let's just say one of those was Iowa.

That's incorrect, Jason. I'm so sorry. Serber. Oh, my God, I'm the dumbest bitch alive. Serber, who's the last coach that beat Penn State? I don't know, but I'm going to say Kirk Farrants. That's incorrect, Serber. I'm so sorry.

Holly. I'm an idiot. Who's the last quarterback who beat Steve Sarkesian? It wasn't even 20. It wasn't even 2020. Fuck, it was Carson Beck. It was, I'm not even thinking of the right. I'm not even thinking of Gunner Stockton's year.

Holly, that's incorrect. Wait, is it Gunner Stockton? We'll come back to you. I lost track of what year we're in. Spencer, you're still on step two. I want to die. This is awful. Spencer, who is the last coach?

I'm still on step. two. Most of us are still on step two, Ryan. I'm placing you at the audience in place and time. This is like Taskmaster because I want to kill you. Spencer, who's the last coach who beat Arizona State? Mani Diaz. That is correct. Wow. Because it was the Sun Bowl, right? It was the bowl. I don't remember what Bull game was. Yeah, do you know the bowl game, Ryan? Do you know that one, smart guy? No, I asked the questions here. Shut up. Spencer, who's the last quarterback to beat Manny D.S. Spencer, who's the last quarterback to beat Manny D. Man, that's going to be contingent on me remembering who they played. Lost a lot of games. Your ACC champions. Again, again, you have, you have three steps left and you have two lifelines to use.

Oh my God. No, this is North Texas's own. I just can't remember his name. See? It's hard. No, remember it's like kindergarten. Being a kindergarten teacher, you don't remember all the names, you know. You know, that was a kid of Peter.

himself. At least you probably know what year it is. And it's not my guy, it's not my guy, Anthony Colandreia, because he lost the gig too. No, but you know what I'm going to do? I'm just going to get it next time around when I remember it. That's what I'm going to end up doing. Do you want to just say anything of Colandreia because it's fun to say? No, I don't. Okay. You want to say it in Italian accent? Can the rest of us say it? Colandrea. Chandler Morris. That is correct. Shut my dick. All right. All right. Who is the last. Who is the last? Last coach that Chandler Morris beat. Oh, no.

Oh, I don't like this at all. Mm. This is great because you can see the vat of acid that you're lowering us towards while it's happening. Which is fucking awful. Y'all need to chair up. You know what? You know what? You need to.

I don't care. Ask the question again. Who is the last coach that Chandler Morris beat? Whose side are you on, Jason? They ended up playing. Their bowl game was shit. I'm going to put you on the clock here. You got 15 seconds.

No, I don't. It's Missouri, so it's dip shit. That is so true. Yeah. So true, pay. Five seconds, please. It's Eli Drinkwitz. That's correct.

All right, Spencer, you can win the game right here, right now. No one wins this game. What's the last team Eli Drinkwitz beat? No, I'll get it next time. I'll get it next time. I don't know. Okay. Okay, no, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

This is take me down to my last, take me down to my multiple choice. I'll take that right now. Okay. End this suffering. All right, Spencer, here are your choices. Does he still win if he uses multiple choice? Yeah, he can win with that. I just feel, it feels not, it feels dishonorable.

That's fine. I'm fine with dishonorable. Yeah. Spencer, the last team Eli Drinkwood's beat was which of the following three teams? Three. Which, it's multiple choice. What did you think that? Three is very few for multiple.

Christ. Let's get this down to two. Arkansas, Mississippi State. It's back in clearly. Arkansas, Mississippi State, or Vanderbilt. The last team to beat him. No, the last team Eli Drinkwitz beat. Okay.

Was it Arkansas, Mississippi State or Vanderbilt? Man, Arkansas is always a good bet. Arkansas. Spencer Hall, you have won the race with the hardest possible. Do the rest of us have to finish? You don't have to. You can play for a second if you want, or we could just be done right here and start the show.

We should keep going to play on my own time at home. Okay. Okay. Okay. Jason, we're going to have a quick race for a second here. Jason, who's the last team that beat Kirk Ferrence? I feel like they played Oregon, but that was not that late in the season. I don't recall an Ohio State.

Indiana was earlier in the season. What is the question again? Who is the last team, the most recent team, to beat Kirk Ferrets? The most recent, chronological. It was before Nebraska. It would have been. Unless Nebraska managed to pull it out and I somehow forgot about that. I don't think that happened though. They couldn't have happened.

No. I'm just going to tell you now it didn't happen. I'm going to help you. How could it have happened? Yeah. Here's the problem here. I think the problem, what the fuck is that? I think the problem is that I have a Big Ten team and there are

And there are 526 Big Ten teams. There are a lot of them. To guess from among. So, let's see, alphabetical. Is Illinois the first alphabetically? I think that actually is correct. Yeah, it feels correct. We're starting there.

No, that's incorrect. Sorry about that. I'll work my way down. Server, who's the last coach to beat Penn State? I will not use a lifeline. Greg Shiano. That is incorrect. I don't care.

I stick by my decision to not use a license. I still think it was Greg Gianno. Unlike Tennessee, server is sticking with Greg Shiano. Holly, who's the last quarterback to beat Steve Sarkeesian? I'd like to take you a little bit through my process here. Sure, please do. I got stuck in a ditch trying to remember Gunner Stockton's name, which is the correct answer. Correct.

Yes. I'll go ahead and let you know that. I remember his fucking high school and couldn't remember his name. So over the course of the next round, I convinced myself that 2026 was this football season and 2025 was last football season, which would mean Carson Beck was quarterbacking Georgia last year because the 2026 season already happened. So that's why I went. That's why I went to also just the butthole eyes discourse is so fresh. It stays so fresh here as the day it was born. Also, another funny thing is that even knowing what happens next,

I should have been thinking ahead once I figured that out to remember who beat Gunner Stockton. And I have not done that. Okay. Just to be clear, I have not fought ahead. That's okay. Because you don't have to tell me who the last person to coach to beat Gunner Stockton is. You have to tell me who the last coach Gunner Stockton beat was. The last coach Gunner Stockton beat.

Wait. Huh? The most recent, who is the coach over whom Gunner Stockton beat? Stockton most recently has a victory. So, not the playoffs. You've let us all in circles. It's Sabin.

No, it's Kaelin de Boer. Shit. All right. I'll allow. I don't know what time it is. Wow. I'll allow it. I did it again.

Come on. What year is it? I'm not going to allow it. You said Nick Sabin. That's incorrect. Multiple answers. I'm unstuck in time. Sorry, Holly.

you're still stuck on that. Is this Hollywood squares, Ryan, or are there rules? No, I don't want it. No, I don't want it. No. I'm not asking. No, he should not give it to me. No.

I'm not going to. I'm not going to. Jason, we're back to you. Who's the last team would be Kirk Farris. Next would be Indiana, but that obviously didn't happen. After that, next would be Iowa, though they have defeated themselves many times. That did not take place at that time. Next, I think, just going off of memory here, is Maryland.

That seems really far-fetched. I feel like I'd remember if that happened. It would require Iowa's last loss to be in September, which is the biggest problem. Yeah, yeah. As far as the alphabeticals after that, I think it's Nebraska, but we've established they cannot lose to Nebraska. Minnesota would be in there, but I've also whiffed on them as well. We've skipped over both of Michigan's. Oh, okay.

Hmm, hmm. Could have been a Michigan. Could have been a Michigan. That's incorrect. I'm sorry. Serber. Who's the last coach to beat Penn State? In case you haven't figured out by now?

I don't know anything about Penn State's season last year after they fired James Franklin. Do you want to use your lifelines? Fuck no. Okay. I have honor. I'm going to guess Ryan Day. That's incorrect, server. Okay.

Holly. I don't trust as the rest of you will get there. There's no way Holly gets this. Holly, who's the last coach gutter stockton beat? It was Kalyn DeBoer. That's correct. And I would like to point out to everybody that after I went backwards in time, I then went forwards in time at no point realizing I'm unmoored in the continuum. You got like an extra 50-50 lifeline without even meaning to.

But I didn't use it. You didn't know. I'm a drift. All right. Holly, you can still win the silver medal here. Who's the last team that Kael and Dabor beat? Okay. So I have to do this biblically because I think if I can trace this through like bagats.

Yeah. I'll be okay. Can we go through all my answers so far so that I know what year it is right now? All right. Not what year we're talking about. What year it is now? I'll walk you through it. First, you correctly answered that the last team to beat Nick Saven was Michigan.

Then you said that the last coach to beat Michigan was Steve Sarkisian. Also in 2025. We haven't left 20, That was a bull game. That was last year a bowl game since Texas did not make the college football playoff, much of their chagrary. Then you correctly answered that the last quarterback to beat Steve Sarkesian was Gunner Stockton. So I think we have the problem. I think I see the problem here, which is that I know what all the answers to these questions are. I just don't know what year it is. Gotcha. The last coach Gunner Stockton beat was in fact Kalen DeBore.

Was Kalin DeBoer. And now I need to know who is the last team that Kalin DeBore has a victory over. Alabama's last victory, which would be Oklahoma. That is correct. Holly, you have taken second place, Serber and Jason, because we went down the strad team. I take no solace in this. I'm going to make you play for third now. I don't care how long it takes. Jason.

I will never surrender. Who is the last team to- Happy that you're leaving? Maybe. Who's the last team to beat Kirk Farrance? Jason, I'm going to help you along a little bit here. I don't think you should go alphabetically. Ooh.

Okay, let's start from the bottom. What did I do? I will offer you help on the next round as well. Remains to be seen. It's not Wisconsin. Therefore, it might, oh, it is USC. That's correct. Jason, who is the last coach to beat USC?

Fucking everybody, man. Let's see. That's correct. In their bowl game, they face, I, fuck. Were they in the Alamo Bowl, perhaps? I bet they were. Which would mean, if that were the case, let's go with.

This is amazing. I'm sure I'm sure I watched this game. I feel like TCU would probably be USC. I don't think that happened. Is your answer to the last coach to beat USC? Coach TCU, yep. Coach TCU? Yep.

All right, I'm sorry, that's incorrect. All right, server. We are still on the last coach to beat Penn State. Here is your hint. This game, specifically the game-winning play, featured a call from the play-by-play announcer that is etched in full cast and audio memory. Voice-cracking memory.

I know. I'm trying to think of the player's name. No, you don't. need to know the player you just need to know the coach well if I know the player then I think of the coach I see I see um shit it's not I don't know but I'm just I'm still just guessing Brett B law that's incorrect all right Jason who's the last coach to be USC now I'm having fun having established that coach TCU is not the correct answer coach TCU coach TCU it's like it's like a video game thing

sure they didn't yeah they didn't get his likeness. So, Sunny Dykes, of course. That's correct. All right. Jason. His name is Pew Spikes. Who's the last quarterback to beat Sunny Dykes?

Okay. Wow. They didn't lose a ton of games last year. It would have been one of those millions of Big 12 teams. Were they in the Big 12 title game? Could have been. I like how we're finishing in reverse. order of intelligence.

Could have been. Like, I thought Jason and Serber was right. Everyone is like within a game in this stage. Sure. Yeah, I get it. Yeah. So, um, Texas tech guy. Is that his name?

That is incorrect. I have to tell you. Uh, server. Last coach to beat Penn State. Who was it? Kurt Signetti. That is correct. Okay.

All right. You know what the real problem is? Yeah. I couldn't think of Kurt Signetti's name for most of this. game. Listen, I did this game. I chose the end of July on purpose for this game and not like February when this information would have been fresh.

All right. Okay. Serber. Who is the last quarterback to beat Kurt Signetti? Ooh. That perfect season. That's correct. But there still is a last quarterback to beat Kurtzignette.

You got to go back, dog. Indiana has seasons before. Last one. That sucks. That was the quarterback of Penn State, right? No. Somebody else has to count years. I don't know. I can't remember that they lose to... I'm trying to think of who they lost to in the playoffs. Do they lose to

Notre Dame in the playoffs? Yeah, see, y'all are getting playoff teams. I'm having to remember fucking T-C.Bole. Remembering playoff teams is harder for me because... Jason, I did say you had the second hardest path. All right? Remembering the playoff is easier than remember the fucking Alabama. A hundred percent. Not for me. They didn't play Penn State. It all runs together.

Hosted a playoff game and lost, I'm thinking, that year. No. Wait, didn't he already say the right answer accidentally? Did Serber say the right answer to the last quarterback to beat Kurtz? It's not the quarterback. I'm probably wrong. Never mind. I don't, I'm trying.

I think they lost to Notre Dame. Did that team have a quarterback? Yeah. I think I'm going to give you a clue. Often he didn't play like a quarterback's. You're kind of half right. it's uh no i don't know the years though holly you are so correct about the year thing because i want to say sam hartman i mean we all want to say sam hartman every chance we get is that your answer server

i mean i well i'm just going to say that but that's not it he's not that he wasn't the quarterback i don't know that i'm going to be able to remember this quarterback's name man to say he's less handsome than same heartman yeah yeah but it also doesn't narrow anything down Is your answer not Sam Hartman? It's not Sam Hartman is my answer, but Sam Hartman has to be my answer. That's incorrect. I'm sorry to say. It is right, but it's not correct.

Jason, who's the last quarterback to beat Sunny Dykes? Give me multiple choices. Okay. Jason, pick from the following three quarterbacks and tell me which of them was the last to beat Sunny Dykes. Rock O'Bect, Bear Bachmeier, or Brendan Sorsby. Fuck, that would be hilarious if it was Soresby. I'm going to go for the comedy. I'm going to say Sorsby.

That's incorrect. Spiritually, that should be true. Still funny, though. Serber. Who's the last quarter? Who's the last quarterback to beat Kurt Signetti? Someone's asking me to take a lifeline right now, so this will be over. No.

It's not C.J. Carr. He doesn't need your handouts. I respect this. So you bracket hit the Notre Dame quarterback. I respect. before and after. And that's the show, folks. The transfer coordinator

makes this impossible. And I... Yes, I will tell you that you are correct. He came from near you. But not as near as Hartman. Yeah. Not Drake May. He's been in the NFL for many years.

Can I give him a clue, Ryan? Yeah, sure. Two first names. God. That's only so helpful, I would say. Two first names. LaCross vibes. Two first names, but not really.

I'm still thinking, now I'm thinking Sam Hartman, even harder. See, I think Server, I think Server just can't remember this name is the problem. I can't remember this name. I think server,

I think server should take multiple choice, but won't take multiple choice. Yeah. I, just give me the multiple choice. Okay. And I surrender. Everything I said before was bullshit.

All right. Serber, the last quarterback to beat Kurt Signetti was one of the following. Will Howard, CJ Carr, or Riley Leonard? Who's Riley Leonard? It's Riley Leonard. That's correct. All right. Starboard.

Who's the last coach Riley Leonard beat? Oh, no. Keep yourself here. I'm going to tell you this. Keep yourself in time. Keep yourself in time and space. The last coach Riley Leonard beat. The last coach that Riley Leonard B.

I will tell you, this is not some weird NFL. It's not like, oh, in the preseason, no, there's no NFL trick here. It's in college. I can't remember if they won another playoff game or not, so I'm just saying Kurt Signetti. I thought you were going to try and make him remember a cult season. That is incorrect. It is not Kurtzegnich. So they won a playoff game.

When we, you will. I think I know maybe who it is maybe. I have a better chance of this, I think. Jason. Bear Bachmeier. That's correct. All right. Jason, who's the last coach that Bear Bachmeier beat?

Okay. Brent Key. That is correct. All right, Jason, to take third place and end this game for all of us. No, we have to keep going. What is the last team? What is the last team that Brent Key beat? Last team, Brent Key beat.

Not BYU, not Georgia. Who the fuck knows what goes on in the middle of the AC? See, see, see. Um, I'm not remember. They had a bunch of big games near the end. I feel lost most of them. Yeah, yeah, because they were flying high and it was like, oh, oh, oh, here comes all the challenges. Georgia Tech was eight and no one point last year.

Yeah, yeah, because it was like, yeah, it was a very bad-loaded schedule. Just to be clear. Yeah. Um, I don't think it was Miami because I remember paying close attention to who they and Notre Dame were playing. I could be wrong, but I don't think it was Miami. Let's just go for the biggest of all Pitt. I know they played Pitt. That's incorrect.

They actually lost, like, Pitt was the thing that broke their back. Yeah, well, of course. Last year, unfortunately. All right. Server. Who's the last coach Riley Leonard B. I don't remember who all was in the playoff, but I'm guessing Mario Cristobal. That is incorrect.

Okay. I don't know. We did not make the playoff. Server, we have talked about this guy. Okay. On this episode. Jason. Back to you.

That doesn't narrow it down at all. What's the name of the last team that Brent Key beat? So again, the ACC has 470, seven teams, an odd number of them. They played Clemson earlier in the year. SMU. SMU is incorrect. Serber! Who's the last coach Riley Leonard beat?

Steve. We've talked about your team playing him. Oh, we've talked about my team playing him? Wait, wait, wait. This episode. Yeah, yeah. Marcus. Wait, no, he couldn't be it.

He couldn't be yourself. No, no, no. I feel like he was the first name I heard when I logged on. What's the other lifeline that I get? You can ask, you can ask Blue Sky. Oh, no. I want to tell you right now, you should say, You should save that for your last question if we get to it.

You have the hardest last question. He's at round four. Okay. We got a long way to go. No, we don't. It's so good. I mean, yes, we do. Yes, we do.

This is like standing at the foot of a 40-foot wall at the end of a 400-mile journey and being like, we're almost there. Serber, I'm going to give you one more bonus lifeline. You can ask Holly. What? You can ask Holly for the answer to this question. I already said it's Jim Thomasula. Jason, text Holly, what's the answer?

Holly, tell him it's Kirby Smart. It's Kirby Smart. That's incorrect. Oh, shit. That's interesting. Saboteur. Jason, who's the last team that Brent Key beat? Oh, I thought we were still on Riley Leonard.

And Jason, you also have the blue sky option left if you'd like to use it. Wait, so we just need to know the last game, Georgia Tech won? That is correct. Oh, we didn't go to that, did we? No. We definitely talked about this game. I mean, yeah, of course. Okay.

So it was between Pitt and Georgia. It was a really embarrassing win. Yeah, it was that one between Pitt and Georgia, wasn't it? Is that your answer? There's a million teams. Okay, here we go. What about this? There's a million teams in the ACC, right?

Yeah, yeah. When you're talking about teams that it's embarrassing to lose to, I feel like this one does stand out. Well, shit, that'd be Boston College. That is correct. Boston College is the last team brinkie. It was like 3432. All right.

Everyone piling, you're all on team servers so we can finish this game out. Who's the last coach that Riley Leonard beat? So this is the semifinal of the season before last to go to the title game. Correct? Who did Notre Dame beat in that semifinal? So Notre Dame beat Georgia and then they beat James Franklin. That is correct. These loops are terrifying.

And now your final question and the hardest question amongst the whole group, frankly. What's the last team James Franklin beat? It wasn't UCLA. Wasn't UCLA? It wasn't Northwest. It wasn't Oregon. It wasn't Oregon. Didn't they win like a?

There was like three absolute garbage teams. I was going to say northwestern, but that's not right. ilk. Their first three games last year, I think ODIU was in there. Had to be a Mac team in there. Was there a Youngstown? No. ODIU was in there.

I'll say that much. ODI was not one of the teams. Unbelievable. Hang on. Didn't he have a decent win at the beginning of the season? No. Can confirm he did not. Nothing but straight ass.

I know. I know what all. three of the of the so Penn State started three and it was the skid was Oregon UCLA Northwestern correct and before that they were just like wildly inflated based on how they'd done against who they'd played

their opener was like this it was like a very suspect score against a like Nevada great Nevada is Nevada is one of the teams they beat not the third not the most not their not the last James Franklin win so there's a Franklin team so they were playing

nobody to start the season. So can we by which I mean this is where I'm asking for this lifeline. If you give us a state that this school is in since it's probably a smaller one, can we narrow it down? And it's not Nevada because that would feel like. Yeah, if you

would like that, I'll give you that. Let me, can I confirm something really quick? You're looking up where it is? Yeah, no, I had it right. Pennsylvania. Oh, that could be literally anybody. that that gives us like 80 schools to choose from it is not temple the youngstown it's not youngstown's in ohio so it's not blue sky i know that

who the my yukon you con is in pennsylvania but it's not pit it didn't play pit it's not pit um NYU. Villanova. Villanova is correct. Congratulations. Oh, shit. You have completed my evil game.

Spencer, I'd like to congratulate you on winning. I still think you had the hardest path because it required you to have a deep knowledge of not only Iowa State, but Duke and Missouri football last season. Missouri is a hard part. You are, you are once again the smartest and most beautiful amongst. us, as I have always said, and we'll always say, please start the show. To the shutdown forecast. You are listening to the internet's only college football podcast.

I am the great database himself, Spencer Hall. More like database. Joined as always by... Hey, thank you all for participating in that game. I appreciate it. Joined as always by Jigsaw, the podcast. College football puppet and demon. He's friendly.

Brian Annie. Games are fun. Games are fun. Games are fun. Games are fun. And now you know who James Franklin most recently beat. Isn't that useful knowledge that you can carry with you into the world? Stupid.

I just kind of assumed that you wouldn't want the show to go on without you, but it's actually kind of refreshing to see you working this hard to tear the rest of us apart on your way out of the door. Now we all remember the Alamo. It's forthright. And I appreciate that. He went to law school for a reason, folks. Ryan's a nice one. Joined by Jason Kirk as well, Holly Anderson, and Michael Serber.

I would like to go ahead and hand the mic off now that Ryan is done torturing us. Oh, my God, we're staying in the same city. I didn't plan this. Yes. I was told to include LeBron James and nothing more. two things here first of all we're staying in philadelphia which is very funny um i want to see and don't fake it don't fake it i really want to know this is for science don't do this just for attention we'll know we'll know if you're lying i want to know if anybody on this show is going to find

out if anybody listening to this show is going to find out that lebron james is going to the sixers from this podcast i just want to see yeah and and again honor system only. Honor system only. Don't fuck with us. There's no clout to be gained from this. You guys have been great lately. Don't, don't disappoint.

You've been making us very proud. Do not make us unproud. Also, I do think it's very funny. The reason I wanted to put this on the list is, I don't know if this is bullshit because I just saw a bunch of random Instagram posts about it that could be anything. But apparently he is going to live in New York and commute to Philly, which reminds me of one of these things we were.

planning on doing that we never got around to that we still should do one day is we were going to announce our first New York City show and announce it in our favorite borough and then just do it in Philly. And now it's in our favorite part of town in a secret location in our absolute favorite part in New York and then we were just going to go to Philly and do the show there. So he's just like us in a lot of ways. That's all. I think in all ways. Yeah. Yeah, we're basically indistinguishable. Anyway, please let us know if this is how you found out. The full cast has moved to many different partners, much as LeBron has. Trying to win a championship.

LeBron is the only basketball player in the same way that this is the only college football. We often get accused of ring chasing and stacking loaded team teams. We are also in various stages of decrepitude. The most cursed NBA franchise is like, oh, what a frontrunner joining the Philadelphia's 76. We have. Okay, first of all, first of all, the most cursive NBA franchise is definitely the Atlanta Hawks. I was going to say, wow. It's the most mid.

The Atlanta Hawks just traded away the first overall draft break from a couple of years ago, and the reaction was, who is that guy I've never heard of him? Yeah, we didn't really want him anyway. Zach Harper said it was a good trade. Like, it's not cursed. It's not bad enough on his first. Yeah, you're right. Yeah.

But, like, the Sixers, like, their best. player for years gets hurt. He plays like eight minutes a game and they just got swept by the team they hate most with all that team's fans in their building and haven't won a title in decades, despite caring about it. That's the difference with the Hawks. The Hawks don't have a championship in their Atlanta history, but nobody really cares. I don't care. I've been a Hawks fan my whole life. I don't care. There was a time of real guerrilla marketing in Atlanta for sports teams, kind of a golden age of it that Adult Swim kicked off when they realized advertising could be fun and did not have to necessarily live on the screen.

This did lead, of course, to the shutdown of the Boston metro system when Aquitaine hunger force left illuminated signs that people mistook for explosives. See her upcoming Patreon episodes for more on this. Yeah. That did happen, but one, and you know, like... Just real quick, what was the conversation where some Boston cop was like, I don't know, might be a bomb? Oh, come on, they're cops.

They're cops. Come on. You just wanted it to use the bomb robot. Just say you wanted to use the bomb robot. They didn't say bomb. You know what they said. It appears to be some kind of improvised, electronic, explosive,

notional device. It looked like a light bright with a moon to night on it, which also, if you have one of these somewhere and you're here in town, I'll pay stupid amounts of money for this. You know, out here on the front lines of the war on town, We need one of them big fucking fucking tanks. I'm gonna be like Mark you I'm gonna be like Mark Wahlberg here not today not here Not here. I'm unfortunately this incident predates the hurt locker so we can't even say like oh I just saw this movie

It's on my mind now I see bombs everywhere I get into into d2 I got a fucking glowbot I got PTSD from the socks bombing out of the playoffs again I don't need this shit shut the trains down Shut them down! I need a, you know what I need? I need a The Town style, the departed style movie just about that day, right? The race against time.

The race against time to go get the moon and night sign. I would want to 24 season based on that. I want the like Dunkin' Donuts supply chain that immediately sprung up, the emergency donkey chain. Christ Carol, I know we're getting divorced. but I've been awake for seven hours. I can't care about this. Some cop made like 10 grand in overtime. Boys, we got to keep this overtime.

I got to get back out to the Cape this summer. Our top minds are looking into this fucking thing. Let's be, hang on, let's strive for equality here in this one thing. If I got a chance to do that at work, I would do all kinds of dumb shit to make sure I got to do that at work. Sure. Yeah. Also, I want the scene where they explain what it is. somebody so these are moon and i'm saying is the incentive structures are fucked up you're saying i get

overtime and i get to use the device no no i'm going to do whatever i can to make sure i get to do critical support to our pyromaniac boston cops in theory i'm saying this is a systemic failure or a systemic opportunity yeah i think systemic opportunity is the way i'm going to look at it um yeah this is i i really this was a time when you could do marketing it would be fun in this period in Atlanta. Mitch Hedberg did radio ads for the Predators when they were here, right? The series of ads called Hockey Love, you should go look them up. They're quite entertaining.

But the Hawks decided to get on this, and the Hawks took their mascot. And Harry the Hawk, he kind of looks like the San Diego chicken. Like, he's kind of like. Does he have hair? Feathers? Yes. He has some feathers. That's not what I said.

Yeah. No, he doesn't. The question is how hair is feathers? I was just wondering why they. didn't go with like howie or you know Henry yeah I'm not sure why a lot of they could have they named him you know it they could have named him Hank hammer hammer and hawk like most things in the hawks history well I'm assuming like most things in Atlanta sports it's a riff on uGA I would guess sure so they had him just go around town to raise awareness for the hawks on a on a like dirt bike

So they just had him going around town. And the problem was that I was at the time going to grad school at Georgia Tech where he would run sort of laps up and down Marietta. And you would be walking and people did not know who he was. So they would go, wow, that's a guy in a chicken costume on a motorcycle. That's crazy. And I'd be like, that's the hawk's mascot. And they were like, what? The who?

So for a while, like three months, they just had him tear an ass around downtown waving at people. And no one knew who he was. I mean, and like part of the thing is like if you see somebody Atlanta, like on a motorized vehicle dressed as an animal, that's like... That might be Shaq, yeah. That's a dude on a motorized vehicle dressed like an animal. There's no reason to assume it's a... It's Tuesday. I am only disappointed that somebody didn't get the idea, wait, I will acquire a similar mascot costume and a dirt bike, and I will rob banks in it because no one will see me coming or think of anything when I'm driving through town as this chicken mascot.

They'll be like, ho ho, what a clever hawks promotion this is. Yeah. Tie a little bandana. I better hand him all our money. I mean, that's an easy carjacking, right? If you want my car and you're dressed up like Harry the Hawk, let's take it. He needs it for... I'm doing this for the story, brother.

He needs it for government national security reasons. Kyle Corver needs your car, brother. Give it over. He's being commandeered. We have to defeat the Grizzlies. Al Horford has to eat this car. Get it to me right now. Joe Johnson actually does not need his car

He already owns his car He needs to shoot basketballs at your car don't explode Like a street fighter mid-level Joe Johnson's truck needs to eat this car C.J. McCollum is like Tinkerbell And if you don't give him this car It means you don't believe in him and he'll die White Howard needs to have sex in this car

Dwight Howard can't fit in that car You got a full of double C.J. McCollum Tinkerball. There. Yeah, that's, I'm totally, I'm doing that for the story. What happened to your car? And I'm like, I gave it to the Hawks mascot.

Get a gun. I mean, again, this all sounds like, you know, some shit that could happen. I think we could make it happen. Hi, Hawks. If you're listening to this. These Hawks Magic City hoodies are going for a pretty penny on me. I'm sorry you what. How am I going to tell my child about Magic City?

With the smile on my face. Anyway, that's... Same way your dad told you in a court monitored custody visit. That's right. That's why LeBron's on the Sixers. That's right. I hope that we have brought news to some of you. That is it.

I can't wait to inform somebody of like the death of a dignitary of some sort. Haven't we done that? I think we didn't. Somebody find out about the queen from us. Is this good? Is this a good information environment? It's better than others. It's better than the other one.

Listen, I'm going to do something real quick right here because Reddit is bad. Our Reddit is very good. I'm going to take a quick, I'm not going to spend a lot of time with this, I'm going to take a quick spin through news stories that our readers choose to put in our Reddit. And you tell me if we're in a good information environment. I know what you meant, but I mean us specifically. We're in a great information environment. Here's the past like three days of Reddit stories on shutdown, Fullcast Reddit.

Coast Guard investigating unusual find at North Avenue Beach. This appears to be a boat that is driven onto land. Pistol Pete's job. Google AI is a liar. Norman City Council to consider Dr. Pepper's Fansville theme for Water Tower. Okay. The official river cruise of the full cast Tulsa to Memphis. Curate.

Story about Luis Carrero Blanco, story about the lawnmower championships, and story about the Kentucky Meat Shower of 1876. Our information environment is fantastic. I stand corrected. The internet is bad, but our part of it is very good. Oh, but how will I learn about Notre Dame's New Jersey patch? You don't need to know. It's not important. It doesn't matter.

You'll see it on TV. You'll see it. Yeah, they paid the money so that somebody has to say into a mic, the Monster Energy Big 12. You know what? That's what money is for. That's what money's for, yeah. That's what money's for.

That's it. I don't have to do it. That's what the money's for. But if Monster Energy wants to pay, you will. You should start applying it to every other conference and see if Monster Energy will pay us to stop. I like that idea. I like that, I think, listen, I don't want to speak for everyone here.

I think the shutdown forecast would take $4 million. To be the Monster Energy Shutdown Fullcast. I do like Holly's idea. We will take seven figures. We'll say in the seven figures in order to stop referring to every to every non-Big 12th conference as the Monster Energy Conference.

You won't have brand clarity without us. So Notre Dame is Monster Energy Independent. I don't mean to undermine your business dealings, but for a mere fee of like $25,000, I will change my name to Monster Energy Michael Serber. You just reach out to me directly. That server on Blue Sky and L underscore Cerberino other places. That does not detract from our deal.

I find it additive. I think that's an additional ad in every show notes. Can I ask a few questions, server? Absolutely. Will you're given, like, do you, how do you want to be addressed to that? Do you still want to be called Michael? Do you want to be called Monster? I believe, you know, you're the Lloyd.

Monster Ray server. senior. You're the lawyer here, but I'm sure there will be some language involved in this contract that means that you and everyone else will have to refer to me as Monster Energy Michael Ray Serber or face the wrath of their legal team. I mean, I don't know what to tell you, but 25K, I get it. What do you think, Spencer? I get a decent C5 for that. Another one? Parts car? Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. So, Monster Energy, hit me up. uh monster ray are you keeping like your entire name do we have to say all five words every time we talk to you i believe so monster ray surberg that's what he's called can we can we just call you monster energy

sure um but i think you know if if my name is there it's implied but if you just say you need to say delicious monster energy delicious monster energy michael ray surble delicious and um energizing like when i to boost Nutricious. Before a full overnight shift of gaming. Yeah.

I make sure to pop the top on a delicious Monster Energy server. Yeah. Monster Energy Michael Ray Serber,

the official drink of hearts of iron. So. Ryan, are you still check? Are you going to the gaming factory

in 2004? When I... Listen, buddy, Halo's coming back. Halo. Halo. Halo, I just

looked this up the other day. Halo right now is one of the top five most lucrative games going on right now. That's right. You understand blue-collar gamers like me. I could not believe it. But all those folks are, when they clock in for their 1 a.m. shifts, they are heavy on that monster. You coastal kids playing your New York Times games.

You don't know shit about real America. Master Chief Monster Energy Michael Ray. Monster Energy Master Chief. These birds keep coming. They're both weird colors of green. M-E-C-M-R-S. This is my daughter Cortana Oh, we got

Listen, I need to look up Monster Energy Skyrim I had no idea of the popularity of Halo that it was still Halo still on the league Oh man All the shit, counter strike was number one

I could not fucking believe it People are still Oh wow People are still on that counter strike I mean Still have not defeated the terrorists How many could they possibly be? They're still in that plane

Honestly, it's like, you know, that thing about like, when you do an act of quote, fingers, counterterrorism, you eventually engender more terrorists. And like, I think this game fucking proves it, man. They have not solved the problem via the conventional methods that this game has been deploying. They need to turn to diplomacy and understanding. One day, I'm going to kill all the leaf blowers. One day. I was wondering what that was. This is, for a long time, listeners, this is, in fact, the leaf blow.

of the neighbor next door to me who blows leaves directly from their yard into my yard. Do you think they have a podcast where they're like, all right, today I'll be blowing leaves in those fuckers yard again. I think it's, see what happens. It feels like a YouTube. How to leaf blow your driveway? Yeah.

For 50 minutes. I'm going to move all of the leaves into a pile into your yard, and I'm going to put a giant concrete block in it and just hope that you or your kids jump into it. I think, I think leaf blowing is a good reminder that like many of the like labors of yesteryear are actually that that seemed like a punishment like I you know like having your liver torn out and grown back by an eagle and grown back like I think we look at that and be like oh what a punishment

but I bet to have fast to see it's like oh this feels great I fucking love this oh it's time for liver that shit that just does sound like yard work yard work but like speaking of a droning noise that accomplishes nothing Michael Lombardi is on administrative leave at UNC now that's a segue for an HR thing and there's some there's some like some NIL money thing or something or other it sounds like he was I think coaches would call it multiple yeah it sounds like you know it's This is going to sound crazy, but it sounds like he kind of never bothered to learn how college football works. I realize that was a shocker and is not at all what we would have predicted two years ago.

What I love about this is it doesn't appear to be the thing that Spencer said it was, that Spencer thought it might be. Yeah, I thought it was because he was sharing racist AI memes. No, it could still be that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It could still be that. It's connected to, it's connected to an HR thing. So, like, they'll, you know, they'll find whatever they want. The only mistake you can make when talking about UNC is to think, well, they just have the one problem.

You should never think of it in those terms. UNC is a yes and program. As we've discussed in another Patreon episode on amateurism, UNC is always every problem. Oh, wait. Can we tech? Does this qualify as a story stream update for the more than awesome? I had somebody. I think so.

We're tacking it on right now. I had somebody ask if we could update it somehow. We can update it. Yes, we can. We can. Sure. We can upload a new file. We could do that. We won't. But we might. I did enjoy that week where around ACC Media Days, in the spirit of like, okay, let's not live in the past, where everybody was like, I don't know, maybe UNC is, maybe it will be okay. Maybe things will be normal at UNC.

Maybe, maybe it's just first you do. Lest we forget, it's not indirectly in his line of supervision, but we are one step closer. to a Bobby takeover. I, um, yes. And also the thing about losing your GM in July in the single portal, the portal is January era, you can't fix it. There is, there is no current problem that this fixes.

Your roster is, Michael Lombardi's roster is the one you're going into battle with. This is good for next season, but nothing could be fixed right now. I bet Michael Lombardi reported himself to HR once he learned that Dublin doesn't have Italian food. And then he was like, no, absolutely not. They'll never take me. Tone, it's called college football. I wonder, I do want to see if I'm not enough of a gambler to know if this is a thing.

I do want to see if any of the lines on UNC have moved in favor of them winning more games now that he's on leave. They have to. That would be very funny. Like as with, like as with Bobby, like, you know, he's, he's not, he's, he's not a, he's not a playmaking coach, a play calling coach. So, you know, the, the downstream effects are going to be, uh, harder to see. But I feel better about UNC that I did like three days ago.

I'm like giving them half a game. Yeah. I feel better about UNC 2027. But current, current US, you know what? Maybe I'm just giving him an. I'm giving them an aura buff for him not being around. This pizza is in the oven already. Someone else can prepare better pizza next time.

Oh, man, I just thought about a domino's tracker that you can't turn off or escape. Yeah. Again, we're using Italian terms for, for, as appropriate. I will say, so the thing, there is an HR investigation. There is also an investigation as to whether they have violated some sort of NIL rules under the CSE. That is a very funny mention to me because the book rules. Right, right, right, right. We're catching whiffs of like I would be interested to know how many schools could be busted for this stuff if someone wanted them to be.

I think it feels like one where the CSE is like since it's been launched, just this huge joke. But like Michael Lombardi has somehow flown too close to the sun that doesn't exist. Is sort of what I'm gathering. Yeah, he's like, he's, he's, he's on the Icarus Plus plan. Like, we know he did not understand college sports money, like, based on how their NIL was getting hurled around in year one. And then, like, year two is just sort of like, uh, let's bring in 7,000 high schoolers in the portal era. Um, so like, nothing would be surprising. but like at the same time it's like do you really get in trouble with the cc like can unless you're trying very hard and be unless someone wants you to be also also uh i'm not sure how many people know this will definitely be news to some people um and again this isn't really true and again this is because of bobby petrino his kids the quarterbacks coach still yeah and not really because bobby's there but he's there i'd like to share this one reaction from

Muehler who's a radio host in Pittsburgh sports radio host after this news came out we had Michael Lombardi on the show a few times I have done lots of interviews with people I probably wouldn't want to hang out with but who were totally professional slash informative guests Michael was neither I like that he dropped this immediately like it was in drafts the um a quote I put in today's newsletter came from Bruce Feldman he said, Labardi should have been getting his salary

with a ski mask on. Yes, yes. Okay, when Bruce says something... Right, right. When Bruce says that about you, man, you fucked up. The last person I can remember him saying that about was Charlie Weiss.

We're in that kind of territory here. It feels like there's a parallel here. I am not saying that Bruce is a codler of coaches. Right, right. I am saying that, like, Bruce is not a guy who tracks. Ash talks people under his byline. This is...

When Bruce sounds like us, somebody has fucked up. Yes, correct. Bruce is a somber and serious analyst when he's calling you names he fucked up. Spencer, do you happen to know where Mike Lombardi ranks amongst college football general managers in terms of pay? He is the highest paid general manager in college football. At one point, I believe, 1.5 million? $1.5 million. Do you know how many...

Like, not just mid at it, horrible at it. Do you know how many Moonenites, neon's you could blow up with $1.5 million? Do you know how many Boston cop movies? Yeah. Boston police overtime. The search for overtime.

That's like a day of Boston cops eating donuts. Yeah, that is the highest paid manager. and he's absolute butt. Like, genuinely, average person contributing and or listening to the show would have done better. Yeah.

Just looking at fucking 22, four, seven, you would have probably done better. Autodraft. Yes. The next time you get in if you were fucking auto-drafted. UNC, I will take his job for half of his salary and Monster Energy will be coming with me. Philosophical question.

does this i mean i guess he can be the the he can be our exception that proves the rule this puts a real torpedo in the side of the good hang theory for lombardy yeah oh wait wait was the theory that lombardy was a good hang for belichick apparently yeah yeah that's what i mean for bill okay maybe but i've never thought of bill is a good hang right he's matching he matches his energy i see i like this asshole he's an asshole just like like me. Okay, that makes, thank you. This guy's pretty cool. It's really horrible. That was, that was going to shatter my world. Okay. Yeah, that I can get with. I just can't stand with people that are like charming and I'm, I, they expect, they expect that out of me. Say no more, Amelia. So I just like someone, I just like someone I really

hate to be around me because I hate myself as well. Just so you, just so you know, okay, um, originally the thing I thought he was getting fired for. Which was fair guess. Which was, which we have not, we have not ruled it out. No, but I think, I don't think that was, I, talked to a couple, I did the tiny, tiny bit of checking around. And whatever, whatever kicked it off, like this might end up being in the woodpile, but whatever kicked it off, it wasn't this. Yeah. And I think Spencer made a fair assumption because whenever we hear about Michael Lombardi, the first thing any of us and any wise person does is go check that man's Instagram, which remains a fucking freak show. So he has removed them as of recording. And his videos that he has reached,

that he has reposted are strictly UNC based. However, the ones that I think Mike Lombardi was born in 1959, as we all know, if you were born before, say, 1990, you have no antibodies to the internet. It can creep into your brain. It can lay eggs. And then soon you will be less a person and more a shell of your former self, regurgitating like hot-brained fantasies disconnected from all reality. Okay? attached to the simplest sentiment. Mike Lombardi is the case, all right?

Case one for me of this. Because, yes, there is a video in here about, it's obviously an AI lady who's probably scamming people like Mike Lombardi. I am guessing she took somewhere between $7 and $8 million off of Mike Lombardi. He's got it. Yeah, because he does have it to spend. But he did repost a video of an AI lady saying, my date refused to eat my ass basically peach emoji all um all because he suddenly saw that blank

with a caption that made no sense in that AI way right like many people fulfilled but not and when needs meat i often overwhelm but in the like that kind of prose right um that's gone now sadly that that that account also had some of the most racist shit you'll ever see on instagram which really says something. But then I just want to share two others. Two others that to me indicate that this person needs to be committed, right? Lombardi or the Italian AILA. Lombardi specifically needs to, has fully microwave brained his life, okay? Because one, there is a heavily captioned. I don't know if she was Italian. I just think she's Italian because she was appended to him. Like his Italianness has a corona that diffuses into people around him. There are two, two,

other videos that to me indicate that he should probably be Baker acted. He should not be allowed on the internet. He should probably be observed for his own welfare because he has fully microwave memed himself, right, on the internet. And it is this. One, it is an AI video of a bald eagle's nest falling from a telephone pole and the protagonist, camera perspective, POV, saving bald eagle eggs where the bald eagle goes to the balcony of the person trying to save them and watches them as they warmed the eggs in the oven to try to save them. As they warmed, oh, okay. Yeah.

Yeah. Like, the father showed up. Like, it's that dumb. And the comments, I went and looked at the comments. I'm not a step eagle. Right. It's such an inspiring, patriotic story. And like, it's obviously AI.

It's bad. There's people with, like, nine fingers on each hand in this video. And Mike Lombardi is like, repost. That's viable content. I think he's actually functioning sub 100 IQ at this point. I don't think he was too far above that. You just got through with ACC Media days, and now we've got to get Lombardi into a conservatorship.

Yeah. My battle chick's not great. It keeps going towards the boss and monsters. Like, and the second... My Glembardi. That's good. That's good, yeah. You're going to finish your paperwork.

The second... I've seen in the documentary Monsters. Inc. Unc. UFC Football will be powered by children's screams. Monsters Inc. is about Sharia law. Infiltrating our schools. That's what it's about.

Mike Lombardi would absolutely be like, here are the coaching lessons I took for Monsters Inc. I think it's very important to know that somebody could be competent at a younger age and then could have become the dumbest old motherfucker you've ever met in your life. I don't think, listen, I appreciate. You have that he was confident. Yeah. I appreciate your generosity of spirit. but I don't think that's the or.

Remember, Al Davis, when firing him, said he does have some talent. I think that was it. Is that what Al Davis said? He did. No, he's sitting there and he's going, Michael Lombardi is terrible at his job. Right.

No, he didn't say. There was the quote, so Lovardi has hitched his wagons. One of them was to Belichick, before that was to Bill Walsh. Pablo Tori had on Bill Walsh's son, who was like, yeah, Michael Lombardi was like the chauffeur.

So maybe he's a great driver. He claims he found Charles. Haley, he did not. He makes a great sauce. He's got a great sauce. I really think this just means that like Mike Lombardi beat Al Davis at guitar hero one time. So you should hear him play Mississippi Queen. He can't fucking read.

I am. I don't trust Mike Lombardi with a straight razor to slice the onions. No, the garlic real thing. I just don't trust that at all. You're getting... Just he's going to come back with missing one knuckle on everything. Hey, I hope you like fingerprints in the sauce.

I thought he put too many. fingerprints in the sauce, but it was a good sauce. Mike's wife, Mike's wife got him a mandolin. Hey! We're all... Never never find... Never, never connect me to those

moon nights. We're going to have to go up to the gold level of insurance coverage just to cover Lombardi's goddamn urgent care bill. Yeah, so... He's basically, all his salary is workman's comp at this point. It's all fingers. Your Honor, I've produced

as my second piece of evidence that he should be quarantined for his own good and all major decisions taken out of his hands and put into an executors the reposting of the reposting of a heavily captioned as if the source material required additional explanation two and a half men video sped up wait sped up so there's hmm this is a two and a half men video that's from after charlie sheen left that's right it's right it's not even it's not even prime two and a half men. No, no, this is like two and a half men, the new class. Yeah, when you stuck through it, you're like, I'm going to see what's up.

I think they probably still got... That's their characters are so compelling. Yeah. That's just two men. So, yeah, and heavily captioned. And, yeah, and supposed to be... And they've taken all of the breath out of it, all of the, like, pauses and everything. Because, you know, I think the problem with two and a half...

men is that it was inaccessibly slow they don't made some like hyperpop two and a half yeah yes oh it's a Gilmore girls too it's yeah it's yeah our patreon episode on gilmore girls it's very weirdly like Jen Alfa edited this video yeah so um yeah i think he should probably be committed to an institution or putting to a conservative he was working hard he's working hard every day for he was definitely committed to the institution called the university of north carolina that's right the 33rd NFL team i've heard of them he's definitely not watching YouTube videos about how TimeCop is real. I don't know why you'd say it on Michael Barre.

He's working very hard for you at Super Bowl every day. He probably does think TimeCop is real. TimeCopp is feck and real. TimeCube is fake. But yeah, I was like, oh man, we need some sort of boomer, some sort of boomer Instagram or Facebook actor.

You're like, it's enough for you. That's it. You're done. Like baby gates. Yeah. Or electrified fences. keep out deer like what if their phone given one of those like small but potent electric shock give one of those like Fisher Price smartphones that just makes noise

oh here you go coach all right yeah you're on the case like if you type of hey I see I see you rank 750 in the state of North Carolina we'll give you $200 million to come play football here what do you say what do you play longsapper

check on my meme stocks this morning the cow says move sea is four so Paul Calzone. That's good enough for me. I was talking to my racist AI lady and she told yourself. Go get yourself a piece of candy. Yeah. That man was the highest paid. The only shut down forecast this long, but it always bends towards the green gobblin.

Don't say was because he's not fired and he's still getting paid. He is. He is the highest pay general manager. Yeah, I assume that like, I assume that the race is. stuff on his Instagram is what got him paid leave and unpaid leave because this is uncied's administration we're talking about do you think bill belichick was able to hold back laughter when the administration was like listen you'll be without his services do you think that will be do you think you'll be do you think you'll be able to this is this is his guy this is where i bring up the good hang theory question again does bill think he's doing a good job yeah i do he has thought that he has done a good job before and the fact that he still here suggest that there's evidence that Bill Belichick thinks he's doing a good job. I find it increasingly hard to believe that Bill Belichick gives too much about this. He gave his son a job coaching the quarterbacks. I think Bill Belichick does believe that because

Bill Belichick hired him. Therefore, how could he be bad at the job if he was hired by Bill Belichick? But do you think that was a choice of intentionality or was it like Mike Lombardi's always up my I don't know he's a journal manager yeah Mike can do it that's why you need to get this guy yeah yeah my and and uh yeah uh Brian yeah he's gonna be on the team too yeah yeah yeah this guy keeps crawl out of his playpen to do a stupid fucking podcast and he keeps uh yeah Steve Steve Steve's here waste this pile of money give it to a bunch of kids who would have done Bob Diaco locked himself in the garage he could be a coach I need I need 70 FCS players in Chabell Hill right now Mike you're on the job it's fine it's fine it's fine

Natron Means is here for some reason. I give it to him a job. Bobby Petrino, just in the walls, man. Just in the walls. Who the fuck is that? I don't know. This feels like, ooh, coach went through the Rolodex and really made some hard, no, I think, yeah, I don't know. He's here.

No one said I had to do a goddamn thing. I don't know. Wes Welker is the team doctor. It's fine. I remember that I think. You know what? I trust Julian Edelman with basic wood. with basic wounds.

I'm not saying anything invasive. But Edelman on attitude, that's an ER doc, right? He shows up and he's like, hey, this is pretty fucked up. All right, cool. Hey, man. This is going to hurt. If Julian Edelman were your EMT, I'm feeling pretty good about the situation. If he's my neurosurgeon, just hand me the gun.

Hand me the gun. But if he's an EMT, yeah, that's fine. Yeah. If Mike Lombardi's my neurosurgeon, hand me the gun. I'm killing everyone in the gun. killing everyone in the room. I don't. I think you're actually fine. I don't think he's going to figure out. I think he's going to get distracted on his phone.

Oh, man. There's a new lasagna quotes account. I got to follow. I'll be back. Leave him behind. There was one. I don't want to miss lasagna quotes. These are the best one. It says best lasagna quotes. Why can't... Get a look at this. There's too much good on the internet.

The thing about Lombardi's Instagram is that we cannot tell jokes about it. We can't. We can't. do better than what's already there. Hey, Bill. They invented racist lasagna. Oh, man, they got garlic bread and classic cars. That's a great account.

I got to follow. Smash the follow. More, more, more, more, more. Give me, give me, go. Going on buss him with the boys because he thinks it's about the Boston busing. He's like, those were the days, right? What? I say something.

Actually, now that I think about it, I can't prove that that's not what that podcast is about. Sound off in the comments. I assumed. I assumed it was just a. positivity vibe on circle jerking. That's all it is. Oh, that kind of bust. Yeah.

What do you do? That's what I've always assumed. I thought it was like, hey, let's remember some guys white flight edition. It is remembering some guys with your pants down. Yeah. Good to the oldies. Little nostalgia that. There's, man, there's one account he follows.

I'm sorry. There's one more that he follows. It's just like. Don't be. We could do three hours on this. It's funny forever. Again, like if you type, like all these girls in his likes,

bottomless. Oh, best public bathrooms in New Jersey. I got to follow this. Oh, my God. There's one he follows. That is the most, like, diners club, brain, like, luxury idiot bullshit. I've ever seen my love. Like, stuff that I'm confused is being marketed on Instagram at all.

Oh, happy days World War III. That sounds good. Let's go see what that's about. Like, this is a man who forever wants to be invited to the players club. His following is like, the list of shit it suggests. He's like, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, Yes, yes, yes, yes.

And it's just getting weirder, weirder and weird. Once he followed the account for the city of Hoboken, I was like, this is beyond parody. Oh, I got to know. What's going on? Is this Santa Con already? Honestly, the way he signs players and the way he follows Instagram accounts is pretty much just like, yeah, I'll take it. This is that. That's the first one I see.

Gimmie. There's one that's like, there's one that's like men's clubs. And if you look at it's like gentlemen's clubs and they don't mean like strip clubs. They mean like... No, they mean like smoking lounges. Right, like old school smoking lounges that aristocrats would go to when they were in Singapore, London, Paris. It's actually the opposite kind of problem because women can't go in these places. Right.

And that's... For networking. And like, I looked at the account and it's like completely fake. They're like, oh, Taylor and Smith Wedwoodson's in London. And it's like an AI photo of like foggy 1898 London with some guy in a big fucking top hat and six thumbs walking in a great cup. you know? Oh, is Frank Sinatra as an old West fighter? Oh, I got it? Oh, my God, that's so good. And he's got big fat tities.

Frank would love that. Frank would have loved it. That's my close personal friend, Frank Sinatra, would say if you were here, God rest his soul. Every president rented Italian. Yes, click. Followed. With me and Frank, we're hanging out with Bill Walsh, who also needs big tities might I add. This is leading me toward another. philosophical path because

recruits are on Instagram too. What? And maybe the answer to this is met in UNC is given to us already in UNC's roster, but there are still players signing with UNC. Yes.

What do the teens think of Michael Lombardi? I think they think he's an easy mark probably. Pretty fucking cool. Hey, you know that teacher who was two years shy of retirement and didn't give a fuck? That's the whole program.

Well, but so here's the thing. If that's true, and I agree that it is, at what point does he, do we cross some kind of Spencer Brace yourself international dateline at the point where he's actually getting good players again because they know that they will not be supervised, that they know that they'll get their money and they know that they will not be supervised. I think they're like, I sold, I sold Michael Lombardi a baseball signed by John Gotti. And by that, I mean, I wrote the words John Gotti on a baseball and sold it to it for $5,000. I got to follow John Gotti baseball.

At one point, if he sticks around through the Whisper Network, does he become paradoxically popular like that, like that one professor who, like, you know, lets you sleep through class? Maybe. Yeah, like there's advantages to every situation. I mean, you got a lot reduced to TCU in week one, but, you know. In Dublin. Oh, man. Yeah. Of course I did, because I don't know what year it is.

Again, if you just type into a search bar at any point and you're older than say 50, okay, and you just type, is this real and you include a link? Yeah, lay me. If you include Facebook or Instagram, you type, is this real? The door bust down. We come in. We take all your devices. Here you go. Here's an encyclopedia set.

That should have you set for us. Here's that and a yellow pages. Good luck. I got you. I got you a subscription to your local newspaper. Here you go. CBS Sunday morning is on. at 9 a.m. on the

man. That's the life. Yeah. There you go. These are the only materials I'm allowing you to reference. Maybe Bill Belichick fucked that up too? Yo, man, those were the days. Christ.

That feels like so long ago. Yeah. He's messed up everything. This is the dumbest shit in the world. How's this? He's messed up everything. And Michael Lombardi is one of his mistakes, but he didn't mess up as badly as Michael Lombardy. Like on an individual level, did not mess up as bad as whatever this is.

because remember it ain't Belichick suspension it's the administration suspension they came in how long did Mac Brown have that job oh non-consecutive obviously like Grover like seven seven years or something so the first time around three four five six seven eight not ten years including going one in ten twice to start didn't get fired and the second time around uh six years okay and it was fine man of course it was fine his winning percentage was way better than four and eight. Yeah. Yeah.

With whatever's coming down the pike. I mean, sorry. I know Ryan has to go before he goes, can we play the UNC schedule game? Come on. It's the end of July. We need a treat. Let's do it. We need it.

We deserve this. All right. I'm going to, I got it pulled up. You guys, you guys want to go? I know we start in Dublin against TCU. We do, but please list your reactions to the remaining games in various Italian noises. Okay.

All right. Beginning with TCU. Gaba Gould! In Dublin. Oh, my dog. All right. It's all right. You get to come home.

You get a week off and then you get to come home and play East Tennessee State at No. Hey, I'm a bad. I hope you enjoyed that because right after that, you have to go to Clemson. Kethekjoori! Kleeppelin at noon in mid-September. Then, Notre Dame.

What do you want? What do you want? Then at Pitt. I ate the salad. At Duke. This is the best schedule game we've ever played. At home or away? Syracuse.

At home or away? At home. Oh, I prego. Okay. Okay. Okay. Me scozy. Home again.

Miami on Halloween. Do you? Okay. What I got you? What? Wauwawaw. At Yukon. Volare.

Oh, oh. Mitz. Louisville. Spaghetti. Spaghetti. Spaghetti. At Virginia. Huh?

No. Is that this Tim Allen? It's Italian. It's Italian. You know that showed a numbers in Italy. And at home, NC State. date.

Hello, Paul. What a treat. Speaking of Mac Brown, Ryan had to go catch an Uber. You had to go, had to go catch an Uber. Which means it's time for podcast business. Not that those two things are really correlated. It's more like the show has been going for an hour and a half, so we should hit podcast. Yeah, we should 100% hit podcast business.

Folks, our Patreon is, we have multiple things in the can for you already that will be dropping there soon. And let's just say it might be multiple, multiple. How's that? Patreon.com slash shutdown fullcast after dark looms. You'll be doing that during the football season. That's where you'll find it each Sunday morning. So, yeah, this past, we're kind of upon a calendar year of the thing, and we've given you, shit, I should have wrote down the number. Dozens of dozens of episodes on there.

We're close to 30 now, if not right at 30. 30-ish, let's say that, yeah. So, yeah, strap in, because here comes all the, there comes all the darkness, all the dark. Here comes the real dark. And, yeah, yeah, Patreon.com slash shutdownfulcast. There's stuff on the way. So on stuff. Additionally, let's see.

Homefield Apparel. We've, so I usually do this thing where the first school I look at is one we've talked about. And, man, we've, we've looked at UNC's page a lot on this show. Let's find an Italian school. Yeah. I feel like we can focus on a different school. Italian school would be none other than Idaho State, of course. That's right.

Sounds right. The throwing Idahoans is the first shirt I see. The next one is a tiger emerging from the, like, bunker that they have. That's Italian. The, uh, yeah, there's also, holy shit. There's a king spud style. It looks like 80s graffiti type thing going on with a, with a potato wearing a crown. Man, this is, I honestly, I just clicked on this one to be silly, but this is banging.

Like, every single one of these would wear. Yeah. This is an astoundingly great hall for Idaho. Idaho State, the mountain range, the tiger with the basketball, all the hats. God damn. I didn't know you had it like this, Idaho State. Cross-country tea. The 84 cross-country tea.

Idaho State's got hands at homefield apparel.com. As does everyone, folks, there are, I don't know how many schools. Again, hundreds, I think, right? Including North Carolina and schools that have it together at homefield apparel.com. I wanted to go ahead and tell everybody about a little newsletter that Holly Anderson and I write. It's called Channel 6. And we are accelerating boldly, quickly, with immense unstoppable speed, maybe breaks out towards the preseason. We will be doing some college football.

We're going to do some comfortable. Should we wait until next week? Let's wait until next week. But we're working on something very large and very fun. We're working on something different this year. Yeah, something different, something very fun that we are going to put. put out for you all. In the meantime, I want to tell you all these like comfortable lies that you can tell yourself and delusions that I think you should embrace going into the college football season. It will also have our free weekly newsletter. This is one of our most popular pieces from last year. Yes. We are returning by popular demand. Mm-hmm.

The first one if you want to go look it up is comfortable lies to tell on a summer afternoon. Things to make yourself feel better about your football team for the year. Yeah. We're going back to that well. Do not look directly at the football team. Yeah. Don't look at us. Please. just lie to yourself $10 a month for two things a week the solemn promise held now for five years straight yeah I mentioned a newsletter that I work on it where it's called until Saturday there's college football stuff in it

two to three times a week depending on the time of year that it is this one was again if you want more Michael Lombardi yep what's going on there as well server what's cooking

yeah best way I'm going to avoid being upset by Clemson this year. I'm going to play a show during the LSU game. Just not going to watch that. Nice. Smart. September 5th at the Flatiron, you can see Killer Ants with Wolves and Wolves and Wolves and Wolves as well as Hort Patrol.

It's going to be a really fucking good show. Probably be the coolest show we've ever played because I love both of those bands a bunch. Ork Patrol played our album release show. So I stoked to see them again. By the way, yep, we do have an album out. You can

listen to it in all the places. I've got CDs. A bunch of people have reached out to me on Blue Sky. Typically, people are like, hey, what's the thing to do? Just like at server.bsky. Social. Say you want a CD. And then when I get a chance, I'll shoot you a DM and we'll work all that out after that. So just let me know if you want one of those. Additionally, I help Ryan and Stephen Gaffrey with Phantom Island. So you can subscribe to their thing, listen to them, phantom island. dot show and hand in the dirt's podcast to do about gardening with michael felder and stephen hartsell and you can follow us on all the things as well that's it we should tell you that if you want to purchase exclusive shutdown full cast merch if you want you yet more things to do with your dollars

copious as they are you can visit pre-owned airboats dot com which is a real website not a trap and the home of the shutdown full store you will see a collection there that is called P.TKU, which stands for Protect TransKids University. And if you would like to purchase any of the Blue Sharks merch available at pre-owned airboats.com, we are donating through September 30th, all of the money we make from the PTKU merch every dollar, every dime is going to Alianza TransLatinex in Orange County, California. If you want to know why an organization supporting trans folks in Orange County, California needs

our help, look up Orange County, California. through September 30th, all of the money you spent buying Blue Sharks gear is going to go to help some of our most vulnerable siblings, cousins, neighbors, and friends. So get in there, support your Blue Sharks gear. We've got a beach towel now. It's large. It's fluffy. People seem to like it. It's sold out really fast.

We've actually never had an item sell out that fast on the site. But we did get that restocked. So if you couldn't find it last time, go back and check. Do it now. Do it while if you're driving, I guess you can pull over. But only if you smoke while you're doing so. Yeah. Thank you.

And that concludes podcast business.