So True with Caleb Hearon - Marie Faustin Wants a Free Couch

Episode Date: June 19, 2025

Welcome! This week’s guest is the hilarious Marie Faustin! Marie and Caleb talk Sinners, the height of men, the concept of renderings, Denzel Washington, and much more! Join our Patreon for an exclusive post-episode chat with Marie and other bonus content! https://patreon.com/SoTruePodcast?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink  Follow Marie! @reeezy Follow the show! @sooootruepod Follow Caleb! @calebsaysthings Produced by Chance Nichols @chanceisloudBook now at Booking.com ! Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to www.rocketmoney.com/SOTRUE today.Warby Parker has over 270 locations to help you find your next pair of glasses. You can also head over to www.warbyparker.com/SOTRUE right now to try on any pair virtually!Get up to 55% off at www.Babbel.com/SOTRUE. Spelled B-A-B-B-E-L dot com slash SOTRUE.About Headgum: Headgum is an LA & NY-based podcast network creating premium podcasts with the funniest, most engaging voices in comedy to achieve one goal: Making our audience and ourselves laugh. Listen to our shows at https://www.headgum.com. » SUBSCRIBE to Headgum: https://www.youtube.com/c/HeadGum?sub_confirmation=1  » FOLLOW us on Twitter: http://twitter.com/headgum  » FOLLOW us on Instagram: https://instagram.com/headgum/ » FOLLOW us on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@headgum So True is a Headgum podcast, created and hosted by Caleb Hearon. The show is produced by Chance Nichols with Associate Producer Allie Kahan and Executive Producer Emma Foley. So True is engineered by Casey Donahue and engineered and edited by Nicole Lyons. Kaiti Moos is our VP of Content at Headgum. Thanks to Luke Rogers for our show art and Virginia Muller our social media manager.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. But a tall guy is not going to be smart. The air is thinner up there. He's got God in his ear. Yeah, he's up there across the heavens. The air is thin, he can't spell. The text is going to be crazy. Marie. Caleb. What's going on? I've been trying to get you on this show forever. I know. I've been dying to do it. Obsessed. You've been, I'm obsessed with you. You've been away. Well we got to hang out because you and Sydney came and did my DC show. Oh DC was so fun. That was a blast. Can you believe? Two shows. There was a rotisserie chicken debacle. Yeah. That I'll never forget.

Yeah, what was it? They didn't have one. Yeah. Say that. Or they had one, but it was cold? I think it was that maybe. I think it was that. Because did you want some? Yeah, but not if it's cold. Yeah, see, that's the thing is we put the rotisserie chicken in the rider, and we say, please have rotisserie chicken there.

Here's what I'll tell you. The venue in San Diego, shout out to the Balboa in San Diego, they are the only venue. Some places brought it hot from the store. Some places had it clearly in a refrigerator for a day, which is so insane. Balboa, they cut it up the way that a chicken's supposed to be cut properly and put it in a dish

with a burner underneath it so that when we got there, it was hot, cut, fresh, ready, that's service. Well I feel like that's the craziest thing about a rotisserie chicken, cutting it. Cause I'll rip a leg or a wing off and maybe slice I feel like that's the craziest thing about a rotisserie chicken, cutting it. Yeah. Because I'll rip a leg or a wing off and maybe like slice like the juicy part of the breast. Yeah. But then the rest of it, I don't want.

Yeah, it's too much. How do you cut it? You're just ripping through it with your hands, really. So now I got meat under my fingers. Kind of. And all rotisserie chicken is not created equal. No. Some of it is not seasoned.

Yeah. I thought rotisserie meant seasoned and then they spin equal. No. Some of it is not seasoned. Yeah. I thought rotisserie meant seasoned and then they spin it. No, sometimes they really just spin it on there. Well, Mexican, Mexican people do really good rotisserie chicken. Well, Mexican people know what season exactly correct. They season that shit out of the Houston. They brought us cause there's a Mexican joint in Kansas City that does this too. But they do like Mexican seasoned rotisserie chicken and then they serve it to you with like pickled vegetables and tortillas.

Houston, they brought us a rotisserie chicken and some tortillas that were. Okay, what I'm hearing is I need to go to Houston and eat rotisserie chicken. You need to go, where did we play in Houston? I forget what the venue is called. You need to play that venue. Baby, you doing theaters, okay?

I'm not going to Houston and a hundred people show up and it's a, I don't know, 2,000 seat, no thank you. You could still request that chicken though. Wherever you're going in Houston, request that chicken because it's good stuff. I think based on how many tickets you sell, you should be allowed to ask for things like that. I don't even ask for that much.

One rotisserie chicken and some hint of lime tortilla chips is not a big right. That's it, that's two things? I ask for hint of lime tortilla chips, Dr. Pepper, salsa, and rotisserie chicken. That's it? That's two things? I asked for hint of lime tortilla chips, Dr. Pepper, salsa, and rotisserie chicken. That's it. There's some additional stuff on there for everyone else, but that's my ask.

We wanna know everything on the writer. That's it, there's four things. There's chomps, there's Dove's chocolates, Chance always asks for whiskey, I think Virginia asks for rose, other people put stuff on, but all I need when I get there, Dr. Pepper, salsa, hint of lime tortillas,

rotisserie chicken. I didn't even of lime tortillas, rotisserie chicken. I don't even know you could ask for rotisserie chicken. Let me tell you what's on my rider. Welsh's fruit snacks. Yeah, let's go. Pringles. Yeah. Rosé.

Yeah. Grapes, bananas, strawberries. That's it. Oh, do you know what? Virginia started asking for rosé because of you and Sydney. Oh. She was like, I'm influenced.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. You know what? I am an influencer, so I know that from me. She literally left, I'm influenced. Oh yeah. You know what, I am an influencer, so I know that from me. She literally left, Virginia's obsessed with you both, and she left the DC shows being like, those are like my two favorite people, like I need to start ordering Rosé.

Like she literally was like, I need to be like those girls. Mind you, Sydney is sober, the Rosé was just for me. Was you, mind you. She's like, in their green room they had Rosé, I need that. That's huge, that's absolutely massive. We'll see Rosé and rotisserie chicken, that's the new rider. That's big.

Well, I started doing rotisserie chicken because of Stavi. Okay. Stavi told me this. You see, this is how you learn things. Yeah, people tell you. You talk to people, you sneak into their green room, you steal something. You know what, Stavi, I've done this phone call

more than once, but I will straight up call people and say how much money did you make on that? Because someone makes me a similar offer, I call people and say what money did you get paid for this? Are they low-balling me? Okay, please expect me to call you. Call me! In the fall when my money is up.

I'm tellin', oh yeah, I wanna tell, here's what I'm tellin' you. Anybody who's friends with me, you, anyone of our friends, if you called me and said how much did you make on this, I would flat out'm here's what I'm telling you anybody anybody who's friends with me you anybody any one of our friends If you called me and said how much did you make on this? I would flat-out tell you the exact number because I that's what they I think sometimes when people are offering you stuff Like they're counting on us not talking because it's like supposed to be this shameful thing But I'm like no you don't have to tell me but I'm gonna ask a couple years ago

and this has nothing to do with you because Couple years ago, someone in the industry started a black people group chat, Google doc. Oh, I'm in there, yeah. Yeah. I snuck my way in. Right, right, right, right. I thought I saw you in there, right underneath me.

I went in and created an allies tab. I put my only my name in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, and it was like, and it wasn't like people's names specifically, but it was like all these different jobs in the industry and how long they had been working and what they were getting paid and like rates for stuff. I gotta find that.

Yeah. I don't know where that is, but it's helpful cause people don't talk and they count on you not knowing how much somebody else got paid. But if you're being transparent, then it's easier for somebody else to be like, I know you have more money. Give me more. Yeah. And it's like, it's also like, we all, anybody who does this kind of work, like, you know, TV writing jobs or acting gigs or venues or brand deals, all that kind of stuff.

We all understand, like, I'm somebody who's embarrassed about making money because I grew up poor, and, but I understand that we all understand that like, the number you see on the paper is not what you're getting, not even close. After you pay everybody and all that kind of stuff. So I think, yeah, removing some of the shame and just being like, yeah, this is what I got.

It went to a myriad of other things. I maybe got a tiny little chunk of it to actually spend, but like, this is the number. I think that's think that's good. Also, they always have more money. Yeah. Whenever you get a contract, whenever you get an offer from a company

or a business or a brand, they give you what number is ideal for them. Yeah. So I always ask for more. Even before I had a lawyer, I was like, double it! Triple it! More, now more! More, more, more, more.

And you know, it's working out great for me, so. Did you see Sinners? I did see Sinners. Did you see Sinners? Yeah. Interesting. The scene where, interesting. Interesting.

The scene where he teaches the little girl how to negotiate. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the girl in the truck. Yeah. Yeah, no spoilers. But if you haven't seen it, you trash. Yeah, get out there. It's like that was one of those ones that you knew you had to get going.

I didn't know what the movie was about. I didn't know what I was walking into. I didn't see no trailers. The person I went to see it with was white. So I was like, this feels wrong. But I think he paid. So actually, support black business.

And that's correct, yeah. You're right. But we went to, like, we were people. And that's correct, yeah. Right. But we went to, like, we were in, like, the recliner seats. So I'm laying flat. And so the movie starts, and I'm like, slaves? I'm like, why is this cotton field that we passing over for mad long? And then it continues, and I'm like, twins?

I knew nothing. Vampires? I knew nothing. But I enjoyed it. And then it continues and I'm like twins Piers I'm nothing but I enjoyed it. Were you was this verb? Were you giving this out loud were you giving the commentary for the people a little bit? Yeah every other word I screamed Yeah, oh I started when it started getting scary. I was just I was I was yelling out loud I was like you're fucking kidding me. I was like do not walk over there. Yeah when the lady was yeah I was like, do not walk over there. When the lady was... Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I'm gonna spoil, I'm gonna tell you right now I'm spoiling one thing, because I wanna say this. So if you don't wanna hear a center spoiler, tune out for the next 45 seconds to a minute. It was tough for me when the evil vampire, racist white people started playing that banjo music. It was supposed to be scary.

Cause I was like, I started tapping my foot. That's the center stage. I said, I like songs like that. I said, Oh no. You said, I was like, damn, they're onto something there. Yeah. I really liked it. It felt like home. They're playing the devil's music.

And you were like, It was stuff they were like, look at these racist white vampires. I was like, the devil's music. And you were like, It was tough. They were like, look at these racist white vampires. I was like, song is catchy. I'm having a good time. I wanted to dance bad. LOL. That was tough.

Yeah, I mean, I saw it in mixed company. So there was like a black people all around and it was white people kind of scattered about. And so it wasn't a quiet viewing experience. And I think that's what movies should be a little bit loud yeah yeah well I grew up in a real small town in Missouri okay so my movie going experience was always very like quiet boring like country white folks okay centers centers I when I was like seven sixteen or seventeen Kevin Hart had put out a special that was like,

it was, they were playing it at AMCs, and I was like, oh my God, they're not playing this in my town, I wanna go see this, so me and my friends drove up to Kansas City to go to an AMC that had like the recliner seats, because back then that was still kind of like a bougie, like luxury thing. Oh yeah, lay flat?

Yeah. I'm on my back watching a movie like this? You remember the first time you saw one of those and you were like, whoa. I was so focused on the chair, I don't even know what movie I saw. Yeah, well I know what I saw, I saw the Kevin Hart special.

And we were the, it was a sold out theater, we were the only three white people in the room. And the first time that he told a joke, like the punch line, and everyone started like jumping out of their seats and screaming. I was like, I literally was like, I thought something had occurred. Like I, I was like, I'm learning something today.

Like I didn't know you could have fun at movies. You are evolving. Yeah, I said, whoa. Did you take that back to your small town? Hell no. What I started doing was driving to the city every time I wanted to see a movie. It just makes it better.

Plus you're watching a stand-up movie. Yeah. Stand up. Yeah, stand up, scream, yeah. Well, and I also had never seen a stand-up special in space. We always watch those, we stream those at home. Like I hadn't gone and seen a stand-up special at a theater.

I don't think I've ever done that. I don't know, I have never seen it, I'm sure that someone's done it since, but I specifically remember being like, whoa, I didn't even know you could do that. Some people do their specials like that. What do you mean? Like people have their special premiere days

at event spaces with little theaters and we watch them like that. Yeah? Yeah, are you gonna do that for yours? I don't know. I might have to cut those, I don't think I'm allowed to talk about them. LOL. Whoops. Whoops. Anyway. You know, moving on. Yeah, I think that would be fun. I've only ever been to special release parties where they like kind of half-heartedly play it at a bar. Nah, Rosebud Baker did hers at like, I want to say Soho House or something like that. And we were in the screening room and they gave popcorn and candy and people's teeth fell out. It was great.

We had a good time. That would stress me out. What did? I don't like watching people watch me. Was she in there? I don't like watching people watch me either. She was in there, but it was all like, her friends and family.

The baby was there. Yeah, the baby. The baby was there. The titular baby from the bump, from the promo pictures. The baby from the special. The baby from the special Yeah, the baby. The baby was there. The titular baby from the bump, from the promo pictures. The baby from the special. The baby from the special was in the screening. Yeah.

Dude, I, a Q and A with the baby. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. How do you feel about this? La la la! You want kids? I don't know. Yeah, okay. I'll go back and forth with it, you know?

Every time I see Rihanna pregnant, I'm like, I should have a baby. She makes it look good. I should have a baby. But also, like, some days I forget to eat until 3 PM, and I've smoked weed already, and it's like, I can't do this if I have a baby. I'm high, I'm hungry.

I'm high, I'm hungry. The baby's sober and hungry. The baby will be dead. Like, what? Plus, it's like, I don't know. I can leave my house the days at a time and not think about it. You can't do that if you have a baby. You have to like be there.

Yeah, you really do. It's kinda crazy. It's crazy that I'm like, of course I want kids. I really, really do. And then I'm like, literally for the last five years, I've wanted a dog and can't do it. Like, I can't commit to taking it out and I can't commit to being in town with it.

Like, that's insane. Are you gonna put a little vest on the dog? Yeah, I would put shoes on it too. Like I'm really one of those, I'm really, like I would get, here's what, here's what I know exactly what'll happen. When I get a dog, first I view myself as too cool to do shit like that. I do think of myself as someone who's cooler than that.

I would start, I would get the dog. I would start doing it ironically. I'd be like, oh, I'm gonna put shoes on the dog. The dog has crocs. Yeah, I'm like, isn't that funny? And then I would legitimately fall in love with it and start doing it ironically. I'd be like, oh, I'm gonna put shoes on the dog. The dog has crocs. Yeah, I'm like, isn't that funny? And then I would legitimately fall in love with it and start doing it all the time. I'm somebody who's susceptible to that.

I'll start doing something ironic, and then I legitimately just become someone who's doing that. I can't do a dog. No? No. Not even a little small guy? I can't do a dog because I'm not picking up poop. Yeah.

And then, but you gotta like walk the dog multiple times a day. I'm out late. I used to date this guy, he'd be like, I gotta go home and feed the dog. And I'd be like, what? It's 2 a.m. The dog still didn't eat? But you know, he was like, I gotta take the dog out.

And it was like, oh my God. And he was like a big 6'3 dude. And I had never seen the dog, so I just assumed he had a big, sexy dog. And then I met the dog, it's a Yorkie. I said, this petite girl dog. And he was like, yeah, my ex got this dog. And I was like, I don't wanna talk about the dog no more.

Get your ex's dog out of my house. Shut that ex dog up. Anyway, the dog's dead now, bye. When a big, sexy man has a tiny, cute little dog, that's just something to me, that happens a lot in New York. That's something to me that is very spiritual. Oh yeah, and he walked it with no leash.

The dog just would walk with him. That's hot. When a guy can walk a dog with no leash. Yeah, I mean that's scary to me, but not when it's a Yorkie. What was that, a Yorkie? No, a Yorkie. Those are tiny, they can't do anything.

Yeah, and it looked like a little baby dog for the whole time. The dog was 18 years old when it died. I'm like, hey little guy, look at the baby. And he got like a bad hip. He's like, I'm a hundred in dog years. Don't talk to me like that. Like coughing and it was like, oh my God.

Why do we do dog years? Do you understand that? No. What is that about? Yeah, what's that about? Their bones age faster than ours? Or is it just literally that we're like they're gonna die when they're 18 so we have to feel better about them not dying as children? Is that

kind of what it is? But all dogs don't live to be 18. I think average dog is like 12. I actually know nothing about dogs. Actually as it turns out. I don't even think it was a Yorkie. I don't know a lot of dogs. I would love to have a dog but I can't yeah I can't commit and people say get a small one and take it with you I'm like I already Like the number the number of days that I wake up and almost cancel everything just cuz I'm not feeling it Like it's already I almost canceled I almost canceled this podcast and the next three things I have today just cuz I woke up being like it would be nice to

Hang out at home like oh, that's so crazy. I also thought the same thing Yeah, I was like Like, oh, that's so crazy. I also thought the same thing when I woke up this morning. Yeah. I was like, ah. Got to go to Manhattan. Yeah. I got to go to the city.

But I have a lot of stuff to do today. So. What are you doing? I'm trying to get a free couch. So I'm going to this thing later, right after this, like a brunch for this couch brand that I like. They invited me. So I'm going.

I'm a network. You're going in there asking for a free couch? No, no, no, no, no. I'm just going to go in. I'm going to be like like is this the new line? Ooh, this would look good in my place, but I don't really want to buy one right now I don't, it's, couches are expensive, the sexy ones are expensive Couches and rugs will fuck you up

A rug? Yes, rugs will fuck up your life But also, I don't know how to pick a rug and like it You know what I'm saying? Because like it has to go with the space, but also go with the couch. But also, I don't know, it's hard, it's all hard. I'm not good at it.

So I have good taste and I like the things I like. But I am decorating my house right now. And I hired my friend to be the interior decorator for it, or the interior designer, sorry. Because that's the thing is I'm like, I like that rug, I like this couch, I like this piece of art. They don't necessarily go together. I put them in the room they make no sense. Right. And then all of a sudden they'll pick something that seems like it makes no sense, they put it in the room. It's a skill. It's a crazy

skill. And you'd be like, oh my god. Yeah. A mirror? Yes. All it needed was a plant right there. I hired an interior designer and she quit. No. Girl! Why? She said I was too indecisive. You put her through hell. You put her through hell. I didn't put her through hell.

I literally was like, yeah, I think I want an orange couch. And then the next time we spoke, I'd be like, I want a pink couch. And then the next time we speak, I'd be like, no, I want to leave it blue. And she'd be like, Yeah, yeah, yeah. But all of the HGTV that I watch,

the interior designer shows up with some 3D renderings. Like if you want orange, we could do this. If you want pink, we could do this. She never showed me no 3D renderings. No renderings. So that's on her. Yeah, get your renderings right. Get your renderings ready.

Yeah, get your CAD plans or whatever. Bring me the renderings. I want my renderings now. Now, it your CAD plans or whatever. Bring me the renderings. I want my renderings now. Now, it's my renderings and I need them now. Now, you driving this woman to quit because she didn't have renderings is cracking me up. Caleb, do you watch HGTV at all? No, not much.

I love it. I think if I wasn't doing comedy, I would be an interior designer who was indecisive. Who has the renderings though. But I would have the renderings. The renderings. So I don't know why renderings is so funny, but you running an interior design show

is something I would tune into. Oh yeah, somebody sent me something, they pitched it to me, they're like, you walking into people's houses and saying yuck at everything you don't like. Yeah. And I was like, yes, let's do it. We need you to have.

17 seasons. We need you to have an unscripted show immediately called Marie Faustin's renderings renderings with Reezy Come on rendering Come on. It's all right there. Let's go Hollywood. Come on cut the check. This would be so good I don't even know how to do renderings, you know, it might help you get that couch if you say the brand right now on the show You don't think so? I'm not saying it because I don't have the couch yet.

Give a follow-up. When I get the couch I'll say the brand. I want you to tell them this when you go there today if you get to talk to someone if you get to talk to someone who seems like they have couch power I want you to say I'm I'm I'm gonna take a video of myself on my new couch and send it to Caleb and he's gonna put it on the show. Let me tell you something. Yeah. I went to visit the couch last month. I am obsessed with this. I'm looking at it, I'm laying on it. I'm like, oh, this is nice. I did go with a man who I was like,

maybe he'll buy the couch. He didn't buy it. But when we were on the way out, this girl was like, Marie? And she was like, oh my God, I'm listening to your podcast right now. And she was like, she worked for this company. And she was like, you know,

I can talk to the marketing team for you. And I was like, do that. Do that, yeah. And then I guess she didn't. But she messaged me and invited me to this brunch today, which is why I'm going to the brunch. A couch brand having a brunch is so like, we, brands have gotten out of control, I feel.

I'm calling it a brunch, but they might not have no food there. Yeah, it might just be that they want you to come see some couches. And if you're inviting me to see the couch, that must mean I'm leaving today with a couch. Yeah, I'm going home today. I'm leaving here with some.

I'm leaving, that is my favorite, that is my favorite conversation of all time. Yeah, I'm from around the way. I'm from around the way, I'm leaving. And the way, dude, he's so funny. The way he says that is so goddamn funny He has Jamie Foxx in tears. Yes, Jamie Foxx one of our only Renaissance men Jamie Foxx who can do it all literally literally

Except date black women. Does he not know Jamie? That's okay. Jamie. That's okay. I can't be honest case about that. I don't either Neither do I Sorry to the black women listening I am off the market For you for you for you. I'm not off the market for if you're a single black gay man Hit me up. Who knows show him the renderin. Yeah, show me the I want my renderings and I want them now. Wait, what was I thinking of? That Denzel clip is so fucking funny to me. Oh, well I'm jealous of the place he's at,

well for a million reasons, but he's got that fun, he's in that fun part of his career where he's a legend, he's done it, he's done the most iconic movies, he's one of the greatest actors of our lifetime. He's done plays, he has the Academy Award, you know he's done seven equalizers, I don't know how many he's done, but yes, you're ready to have fun. He shows up in sweats or like he shows up in like that interview he's like dressed so casually, I don't think he ever shows up in sweats, but he's casual, having fun, goofing off,

and also saying what's on his mind. Did you see that interview with him? He was talking to an interviewer, and the interviewer was like, what do you think of all, all you Hollywood people coming and doing theater? And he was like, excuse me? All you Hollywood people?

He was like, I do theater. He was like, I'm a theater actor first. And then he just says what he wants now. He dragged him. But also, how are you interviewing me, the Denzel Washington, and you haven't done your research? Yeah. I do theater.

Yeah, he's a theater actor. I do this. Yeah. Right, he did Fences, and he's doing Othello right now. And I mean, I don't know where he went to school. Is he a Yale School drama person or a Juilliard? He went in New York for acting school. I want to say it was like maybe Fordham or something. I don't think it

was like NYU. Where'd he go? Yeah he went to Fordham. Oh! Did you see me get that? That was good. I didn't know. That was really good. It is nice having the computer TV screen popped up like this. Yeah, he went to Fordham. And then, because I knew he was in New York, but he went to Fordham and yeah, was doing theater. Now, I don't know what American Conservatory Theater is, but that's something he did as well. He went there as well?

Yeah. So don't, how does it feel like to come into, bitch, I do theater. And he did, that's what I'm saying though, is like, he's at that awesome place of life where like, he doesn't have anything to prove to anyone, he's a fucking legend, and he'll just be like, he just did that interview, or in an interview,

was like, no, excuse me. He was like, no, absolutely not. He said, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I do that. Yeah. Yeah. I love that for him. I do, it's so great. But I think that as Yeah. Yeah, I love that for him. I do it's so great But I think that as you become successful

You can be that comfortable because you you can talk your shit you've proven yourself already you have nothing else to prove Yeah, you you there you're there like a year or two Like 10 years what's your favorite Denzel movie? Um, I really like Remember the Titans. I like John Q John Q's your favorite Denzel movie? I really like Remember the Titans I like John Q. John Q is my favorite It's just, it's so dramatic. Yeah. It's so dramatic. My son needs a heart. Heart. And I'm

robbing this hospital. Bring me the heart! He's walking the doors He's got guns pulled on doctors and shit Yes. Yeah, John Q is a big one for me. It's so good. Um, and then I'm blanking on all the other Denzel movies. I just rewatched Training Day.

Okay. Does it still hold up? Yeah, it does. Okay, okay, I'm gonna watch it, I'm gonna rewatch it. I mean, he's so insane in it. Like, he's so, he's so, like, nuts and scary in that movie. I'm just like, Denzel, he can do anything. Yeah, but also playing a villain,

I feel like has to be fun. Because being the good guy is like, you want people to root for you, yay. But the villain has more fun in the movies, I think. Yeah, well because we don't really care much. I think we're more into villains now. Like you look at the people who play the good guys and we're all just kind of, I don't know. I feel at least in my circles,

I'm bored with the good guy movies. I'm like, bring me a good villain. Bring me a villain. A big time villain. Yeah. That's kind of why I was disappointed in Cruella because it was like Cruella is more bad ass than this. I didn't see it. Who was in it? Emma Stone. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. It's not given what Glenn gave. Yeah, well Glenn's got, Glenn's got those, there's something in the eyes there. She got crazy eyes. Yeah. She would kill a Dalmatian. Yeah. Emma Stone is not killing a Dalmatian. No, too sweetie. Too sweetie with that one. I think she had a Dalmatian in the movie. It was like, this don't make sense.

Yeah. Where is the coat? Where is the coat? Where are the coats? Make the coat. Yeah. I want my renderings in my coat immediately. Give me a rendering of the coat.

Of the coat. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha She's had a um she did like easy a and movies like that she started in super bad She was in super bad and easy a she was super bad in super bad and now She's just a movie where she was it pretty things poor thing poor things. Did you see that? Yes, that was a good movie I love your ghost Your ghost Lanthimos sometimes he was a your go. I don't know what's correct I don't know who your ghost is your go Lanthimos your ghost Lanthimos. Is that the guy who did the movie your go? He's the director. What else has your go directed? Oh my god the lobster You seen the lobster. What is the lobster that sound like some? Swedish movie your go is it your go or your ghost you pronounce the s can you

The most can you do Greek as hell hell huh can you Google your go pronounce s Yeah How do you say your ghost lanthimos? Your ghost land team Oh shit. I didn't even realize the second one could be different Softly or goes the last name is pronounced Lentimos your ghost Lentimos. I love it wait That's like a his name is like a haiku I love it. Wait. That's like a his name is like a haiku Wait with this the T silent and Lanthimos your ghost Len he most Lenimos your ghost Lenimos

Yeah, it sounds like something Hermione would say when she's being annoying your ghost let him out the boys can't get it and she's like No, it's this your ghost Lanimos. I have a confession. We're not supposed to talk about her anymore. I've never seen Harry Potter. That has turned out to be correct. Why are we not supposed to talk about her anymore? Well, we're not supposed to talk about Harry Potter anymore because JK Rowling hates trans people. Yeah, and like really vocally. Well, she's doing the reverse Denzel. She's been very successful.

She's like, I'ma talk about how I feel. Yeah, yeah, that is funny. I guess maybe there's, I'ma talk about how I feel. Yeah, that is funny. I guess maybe there's, I don't envy her. I actually wish ill for her. But yeah, I guess if you're not a transphobe, it is kind of, to me I'm like, as a business person, if you feel that way, shh. You know what I mean?

Why not just keep it quiet? But that's how you know everybody on her team is old. Yeah. Cause a young person would be like, we don't talk like that in 2025. Yeah. Or 2023, whenever she said it. Yeah. We don't talk about that post-pandemic. She's saying it every day. Yeah, we're not supposed to be, and I'm not watching them anymore, but as a kid, Harry Potter was like big for me. Who is she telling, like who does she have a podcast or a blog? She's

on she's on Twitter every day like railing against trans people tweeting like just tweeting out arguments she's she's interacting with people criticizing her she's quote tweeting people and being like being like oh I'm sorry like you know however they talk yeah sorry it's like I'm some men are supposed to use the loo then with the girls and it's like shut up bitch no one shut up right she doesn't even use public bathrooms. You have seven bathrooms in your house state pee there Yeah, we're not so we're not supposed to talk about All right anymore Harry Potter's cancelled, but you never got into it. No, what were you into as a kid?

What was your big like I used to read a lot as a kid. I wasn't allowed to really watch movies You know my parents were like school and church. That's what we do here. Yeah church and school only I read a lot as a kid. I wasn't allowed to really watch movies. My parents were like school and church. That's what we do here. Yeah, church and school only. Yeah, I mean, they're Haitians. I'm first generation. They care about the Lord and the books. And it's like, what else?

I remember I was invited to a birthday party to see She's All That at the movies. And I wasn't allowed to go to birthday parties, because they were like, you can't go to somebody's house, you gonna get took, you gonna get touched, you gonna get taken. Took, touched, or taken?

Touched, touched, taken. And it was like, I just wanna eat pizza with my friends and watch a movie about an ugly girl who has glasses and when she takes her glasses off, she cute down. And they would not let me go. But for the whole week, down yeah and they would not let me go but for the whole week I thought they're gonna let me go yeah no really I had a piano lesson that day and they made me go to my I just wanted to see she's all that there are legends to me I love them yeah are you what's the are they still in New York yeah do. Do in church all the time?

Yeah, but like separately. Oh. Yeah. Interesting. Yeah. It's like, do you guys, you love the Lord, but don't love each other. That's interesting. Interesting. Yeah. But my parents have been together for like 40 years

and I think they should not have been together for that long. And I think if you're together for that long and you're a certain age, it's just like, what am I gonna do, start again? Yeah, yes. There's a lot of people like that. There's people like that, especially back in Missouri,

that I know, who of course I'm not gonna mention, but. They know who they are. They know who they are. But yeah, you're together for so long that you just go, I'm not starting over, you do your thing, I'll do mine. Let's just write out the tax benefits until we're both out of here. We'll do the burial plots next to each other and we'll just how we'll get out of this

No, we'll do a space between us in the burial plot. You some grass me. Yeah you uncle Albert For me for me no, I'd rather be alone than be with somebody that I don't like yeah for sure I that's my mom and I've talked about this a lot because she dated a lot with somebody that I don't like. Yeah, for sure. My mom and I have talked about this a lot, because she dated a lot of people. My mom wanted to fix a lot of broken men. And we talk about that a lot now that she's in her 50s and she's single.

And she's like, no, I think it's actually better for me to be alone than to be with someone I don't like. And I'm like, yes, welcome to it. We've been saying that. This is what we're saying. Yeah. I just don't want to be with someone in my house like and I'm like, yes, welcome to it. We've been saying that. This is what we're saying, yeah. I just don't wanna be with, I don't want someone in my house that I'm like,

annoyed with. Hard stop, I don't want somebody in my house. I feel like Whoopi Goldberg. Whoopi, wait. Shout out to Whoopi G. She really nailed it with that one. But like, as somebody who's lived alone for now five years, I can't imagine someone in my house.

Even like, my friends will come or like guys I date or my sister stay with me for like a couple months. And I like everything where it is because that's where I put it. She would put the Brita filter in the fridge in a different place. And I'd be like, oh, it's blocking the light.

I can't even see in the fridge. And it's like, girl, it's a clear filter with water in it. You can still see, but I'd be like, oh my God, it's hideous. And so yeah, me and my sister have proven that we cannot live together, but she now has her own place, I have my own place. I think when you meet somebody and you move in together,

you just have to get a new place together. You can't move into each other's space because it's not going to work. I'm not integrating into your place. No. And you not in my. The idea that we're going to get rid of your dresser because I like mine, and we're going

to put it into the space and hope. No, we're getting a new place. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah. I can walk through my apartment with the lights off and not hit anything. Yeah. You start moving your big, bulky, manly, ugly stuff in here,

I'm gonna stub my toe, and now you have to leave. You need to leave. That wasn't in the renderings. Yeah, whoa, this was not in the renderings. This was not in the renderings. I've got renderings for my life, and you are not in them. They're ingrained in my brain. But I don't know, I think that if and when I get married,

he's gonna have to live across the street. Yeah. People do that. People do that very successfully. Yeah. I don't know, man. I feel like I want them in my house though at the same time. Do you know what I mean? Separate bedrooms then. You think? You're like doing anything to hold on. You're like, please separate bedrooms. Something, I just, my space is really important to me. And I, as a single person, like just to come home and not have to answer questions about my day

and be able to just take all of my clothes off at the door and then put my keys down. You know what I mean? Like you're allowed to be gross when you're alone, but when someone's watching you, you gotta tweak how you act, cause they can see you. You're being perceived, yeah.

Yes, and it's like, I just want you to think that I'm cute and cool, and then when you see me come home after doing three shows, you see that, oh, I'm kind of a savage, right? I'm like naked, on my knees, doing a wordle at 12, 42 in the morning, and I'm on the ground on my knees for a wordle at 12, 42 in the morning, and I'm on the ground on my knees for like an hour. And then I get up and my knees creak,

and then I drink something from the bottle, and then I shout, like, there's steps to my madness. Yeah, I had a guy that I was seeing once that I was at home in my like stained laundry day t-shirt. When I had come in I had like kicked my shoes off in the living room. I had like there's shit on the counter. I have like trash on the counter from dinner because I had ordered takeout. This is all stuff that I'm going to handle. But he texted me and he was like, hey I'm outside. I was just in the neighborhood. Can I like come in and hang out? And I was like, dude there's

so many things that would have to happen for you to come in here. And so I was like, I didn't answer for like 10 minutes because I was running around the house fixing stuff. I got back to my phone and I was like, oh yeah, give me a couple minutes. So I took a couple more minutes. And I'm like, this, you can never pop up on me like that. Yeah. I am doing shit when I'm alone that you can't witness.

I hate the pop-up. I hate the, hey, I'm downstairs or worse, the buzzer. Not the buzzer. If I hear the buzzer and my house looks how you just described your house, I'm downstairs, or worse, the buzzer. Not the buzzer. If I hear the buzzer and my house looks how you just described your house, I hit the deck. Literally, I did that the other day. I was like, whoop. Turn off the lights.

No, the lights were, I was like, he'll know that I saw it and I turned the lights off because you can see that my lights are on when you walk up. So I'm on the ground. I'm like, there's no way he can see me. I'm like crawling to the bathroom. Yeah. I had two friends the other day.

I'm on the, not the ground level, but just right above. So you can, people on the street can see in my windows. And I had my windows open because it was hot. So you can hear what I'm doing in there. I can hear what's going on out there. And you can see, because I only have the sheer curtains over it. My friends were walking by on a walk, and I'm sitting on the couch playing video games,

and they go, Caleb, they're looking at me. And I was like, oh, God. You gotta get privacy, like sticky, clear stuff for your windows. I know, but I like it, I like being able to see. But most of the time, people were just walking by minding their business, you know? These are people who knew I lived there.

Stopped and walked in and went, Caleb? Did you hit the deck? I went, no. And then they laughed really hard and then started to walk away and didn't, I said, come in, because I did want them to come in, but they didn't hear that part, so they just walked off and I let them.

I was like, get out of here. You said, no. Come in. Come in. I texted them and said, I said, come in. I text them and said, I said come in. And they said, oh, we thought you said go away. I said, no, come in. Yeah, the no was the go away.

The no was the, yeah. No, come in. Yeah. You came in. I didn't like, I don't like the pop up. I hate a pop up. I think it's good for community and I do it to people, but I don't like it if I'm in a certain,

you need to pop up on me when you know that I'm correct. When you know that I'm dressed. Can I text you if I'm in your neighborhood? Or I'll text you if I'm gonna be close by. Don't just show up. I have a friend, he'll do that. He'll show up on his little bike. He'd be like, hey girl, come downstairs.

I'm here. And I'm like, I'll come down, but you not coming up. Yeah. I like a pop-up with just a tiny bit of notice. I do like when someone's like, hey, I'm in your neighborhood. I'm coming by in 15 minutes. That I don't mind, because then I can choose if I want to go out or if I want to let them in.

I like a casual friend pop-over. There is something specifically different to me about a romantic context, or someone that I have sex with, where I'm like, it's different. Actually, most of my friends, like truly, Maria, if you came over to my house unannounced and I was in my laundry clothes and there was takeout on the counter and stuff,

I'd be like, that's just Maria, that's my friend Maria. I'm like, I wouldn't actually mind that so much. That's crazy, you wouldn't clean for me? I would clean, but I wouldn't be so scared of you perceiving me, because you're my buddy. Somebody I fuck is like, oh man. It's different. It's different. It's different, yeah.

I had a guy pop up on me once, it was like midnight. I'm in my underwear, literally just panties, I'm on the couch, my legs are up, the couch that I'm trying to get rid of. And I was on the phone with Sydney, we're like FaceTiming, my buzzer goes off, and she's like, who's that? I'm like, I don't know.

I'm like, is it you? She's like, I don't know. I'm like, is it you? She's like, no. We're both like, well who is it? And this guy that I was dating calls me and then texts me, hey I'm downstairs, I came to pick up my hat. What? No.

At 12.34 in the morning? Not the hat. The hat? Not the hat. You don't have no other hats at the house? Get another hat in the renderings. Stay out of my place. I had a hat thing with a guy one time.

I hooked up with this guy from Grindr. He like, I got on Grindr, I don't know if I've said this on here before. I got on Grindr, this guy messaged me, he was like, hey, do you wanna hook up? I was like, yes, come over. He came over. This all takes place in like 10 minutes.

It was like one of those. Comes over, hooks up, it was cold out, he had a stocking cap, he left it. And then when he left, I messaged him like an hour later because I noticed the stocking cap. I messaged him, I was like, hey you left your thing, like feel free to swing by tomorrow, I'll be around, because he like told me he worked in the neighborhood.

I was like, swing by tomorrow if you want to grab it, or he said he works at a coffee shop. I was like, or I can bring it by your coffee shop if you just tell me which one it is, like no big deal. To me, I'm thinking like, you just left a hat here, it's winter, I'm gonna bring you your hat or you can come get it. He messaged me back like an hour later and was like,

hey, just wanna let you know, I have a boyfriend so I'm not really looking for anything serious. I was like, whoa, I'm not, you left the hat with me! I'm not trying to date you, I'm trying to get rid of this hat! I don't, I was so. It's an ugly hat! I was like, what? Never got the hat back's an ugly hat. I was like, what?

Never got the hat back to him. After that, I was like, you're crazy. Some people are crazy. People are crazy. But like, it's like, he thought you were doing like a reverse leave something at somebody's house so you could see them again. Yeah.

He thought you hid the hat, so he had to come back to pick it up. You left the cap. I'm not trying to date you. Yeah. He's like, I'm leaving here with nothing. You know, come get. I'm not from around the way. I work around the way. I work he's like, I'm leaving here with nothing. No, come get- I'm not from around the way. I work around the way. I work around the way, I'm leaving here with nothing.

I'm leaving here with nothing. Come get your raggedy hat. Sounds like the hat was ugly. It was ugly. And it like, it's so insane to me to go from like, we hooked up in, we, everything happened in under 10 minutes that we talked to each other, we agreed that he would come over, and then he was under 10 minutes. That we talked to each other, we agreed that he would come over,

and then he was on his way. I would go from that to you leaving a hat, to me being like, I think I need to trap this guy. I need to keep him around. Like what? Girl, first of all, hitting me with the, I have a boyfriend, I'm not looking for anything. You had a boyfriend when you came over here 10 minutes ago.

By the way. So did you just? Tell your boyfriend to come get the hat. Well, tell him to come get that. Yeah. I was in here. Where does your boyfriend work? Does he hat. Well tell him to come get that. Where does your boyfriend work? Does he work at a coffee shop in the neighborhood? Can I take the hat to him?

I don't care who gets the hat. People are delulu. Also I will burn the hat. I don't care about the hat. I was trying to be nice. I will use it to wipe my TV and my countertops and then throw it in the trash. I will. I saw all my floors with this hat and throw it away. I will Cinderella my whole house from floor to ceiling

with this hat. Yes, I will easily do that with the hat, but I was trying to be, yeah, I was trying to be Mr. Rogers neighborhood, a friendly smile. You can't be nice. This is a lesson that you need to learn, you can't be nice.

You think? You gotta be a little cunty. You think I need, what do you think, what do you think I need to, do you think I need to be a little meaner? Maybe. To men for sure, yeah. To men, yeah, you're better about that.

You're better about that. Thank you so much. Yeah, you treat men bad. It's not that, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I don't treat men bad. I'm running a narrative. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Sinners, let's not do this.

I don't treat. I start playing banjo. Her leg starts tapping. No, I don't treat men bad. Sinners Her legs start stabbing yeah, no, I don't treat men bad I just think that If you're a little bit mean to people they want you to like them more. Yeah, this is a fact Yeah, well people want you to like them not because you're mean but because you're cool Huh, you know, you're cool. Don't play with me. I'm not cool all the time, and I'm cool now, but I wasn't cool as a kid. I'm cool as an adult, because I'm like, none of this matters, and that is cool.

How do you think you, how did you become cool? Because you are cool. You have a carefree attitude, you always look good, it's like, Maria, you've got a cool factor for sure. Yeah, but I got anxiety. Yeah, oh I know. An why not? Anxiety. Anxiety. I have it, but I just, you know what it is?

It's the pandemic. I was in my house, and I was like, you know, I think I'm going to accomplish all the things that I want, because I've also decided that the universe wants me to be happy, and it wants me to win. So everything that I'm supposed to do, I'll do. But I was like, I don't want to be like 75 and be like, damn, I didn't really enjoy my life.

So I think in order to enjoy your life, you just have to do what you want and wear what you want and say what you want. And that's, I think, what makes me cool is I'm like, none of this matters. People who overthink things and think about what everybody is perceiving about them, those people are stressed.

Those people are not cool. No. Do what you want. Yeah. You gon' die soon. Spend the money. Send the renderings. Send the renderings immediately.

Yeah, but also I, you know, I wear things that I feel like I'm not gonna see somebody else wearing. So I think that's why people think I dress cool. Yeah. Cause I'm like, no one else is gonna wear this. It's ugly cute. Yeah. I love an ugly cute.

Well you make it, yeah, you make it cool. you could wear anything and make it cool. I do think that about you. You have a good you have a good you you accessorize well and you have a you have a cool attitude about it so if you you could wear the ugliest you wear the ugliest thing I've ever seen and genuinely I'd be like I need to start dressing like that. You could influence me easily. Let me tell you I was in so I was in Tokyo for 10 days. They are cool. I thought I was cool before I got to Japan.

I was like, oh no, I'm the girl from She's All That. I'm that. Cause they dress, like they'll put stuff together. They had me say in sentences I had never thought I'd say. Like, what an incredible blouse. Like I've never said that before. Incredible blouse? But they dress so cool.

And Japan, like it's such, I mean it's like 5,000 years old, they're very old. But like, so you see somebody wearing like the traditional like robe, you know the thing with the thing, and the shoes with the thing. And then you see somebody in like booty shorts with leggings and pigtails and things on her face,

like a Harajuku girl, and they coexist together and neither of them are judging each other. And it's just like, that's cool. That is cool. That's so cool. That is really fucking cool. I have to go back to Tokyo, I'm lost. America's so ghetto compared to that place.

I almost, okay, I moved to New York last fall, and I promised myself, I usually travel for Christmas and New Years, and I promised myself I'm gonna stay in New York, because I moved here and then had to go away for work immediately, and so I hadn't really settled in my place, and I was like, December, I'm spending in New York, it's like my commitment to being in New York.

This December. This past one, this was last year. And then. I didn't see you at the church. I wasn't at the church. That's my bad. I wish you could send me the invite. I would love to hang out with your parents. I don't know how we'd get along, but I'd love to try. Some parents love me. Some don't. It's just we have to try. But I was, I had committed to myself.

I was like, I'm staying in New York in December. My friend hit me up and was like, hey, free hotel room for two weeks in Tokyo if you want to come. Oh. And I didn't take it. Why? Because I had made a commitment to myself that I was like you just went through this huge move to move to New York you told yourself you were gonna give New York a chance and if you spend every fucking month away from it you're not doing the thing you said you would do and so I had told I promised myself I would stay in New York and I did it. I skipped Tokyo. Who is the friend that tell him to hit me up? I will I'll tell her. Okay yeah tell her to hit me up. that, tell him to hit me up. I will, I'll tell her.

Okay, you're gonna tell her to hit me up. I'll tell her to hit you up. I'm leaving this podcast with something. I'm leaving this podcast with a trip to Tokyo. I want to rent a room. Two weeks free hotel. I know, and it's normally something I would so jump on, but I just was like, I felt burnt out,

and I felt like I had broken a couple promises to myself before that and I was like, this is something you need to stick to. And I'm really glad I did because then instead of starting, there was something else that, the new year was starting crazy. Like maybe the top of the year I had to do something. I had something in January that was like starting off hectic and I can't even remember now what it is,

which is funny. But I was like you don't want to you don't want to go travel for two weeks and then come back and deal with and then come back and start the new year with this hectic thing and it turned out I was really right. I felt like I started the year recharged. Isn't it crazy how we stress out about stuff? It like consumes us and then we do it and then a couple days or months pass and then we don't even remember what we were so stressed out about. Do you ever have that thing? Yes I and then we do it and then a couple days or months pass and then we don't even remember

what we were so stressed out about. Do you ever have that thing, yes, okay, yes. And also, do you ever have that thing where you're feeling stressed and you have to go, wait, what was I stressed about? And remind yourself why you're stressed out in the moment. You don't get that. Sometimes, but my memory is really bad.

My memory is trash. I forget stuff that I have to do. I forget to pay my bills. I mean, I pay them when they send me that final termination notice. That's when I'm like, I guess I'll pay Con Ed. Yeah, I'll be talking to a friend and I'll get really sick to my stomach,

stressed about something and be like, oh fuck, I forgot about that thing I had to do today. And then I'll still feel the stress in my body and be talking and enjoying myself and going wait you're supposed to be stressed about something yes and then I go oh yeah it was that thing and then I feel relief that I remembered the stressful thing yes well cuz I'm I'm one of these like go into a room to do something or pick something up and then be like like run into the room yeah and then be like what did I what did I need yeah why am I here and then I have to retrace my steps and I'm like, what did I need? Why am I here?

And then I have to retrace my steps and I'm like, and then when I'm leaving my house, I'm like, right, yes, pants or whatever. Like, whatever. Or I'm on the train and I'm like, oh, I forgot to put my rings on. That's like a bad day for me if I don't have any rings on. You need your rings back.

And I forgot to put all of them on. I got some pinky rings that I love Whatever it's a lot. How did how did you or why did you start? Why are you single? What was that about? What was the genesis of that? Um, I it's an idea I've had for years And I just sat on it and I'm so mad. I sat on it lol so mad I sat on it, um, but never bad I sat on it. But never mad I sat on it. But yeah, it's just an idea I had

and I didn't really know what I wanted it to be, right? I do this thing at my shows where I ask people to give me three adjectives of what they're looking for in a person. And every time I did it, it was fun for me. And I was like, this is a game. And then, I don't't know I was talking to people about it I got tired of talking to people about wanting to do it so I

just started doing it and every time I do it it's a different it like morphs into a new thing yeah and so I had it last night and it was so good yeah it's so fun it's like silly and I don't want people to take it too serious and I wanted to feel like a mix of like the price is right meets I don't even know what like the group chat meets any dating show you've ever watched yeah right price is right in that like anybody in the audience could be on stage yeah I'd go last night it was just good like for messy people the way I started it was least red flags wins, but now it's most red flags wins. Because we want you to be messy.

I want you to show up and be like, yeah, I lie sometimes. I say I'll call you and I don't. I won't, yeah. Yeah, and it's like, yes. And everyone in the audience gets a little red flag and they love waving it when they hear something they don't like.

People in the audience be like, ah ah! And it's like, girl, you waving it, but you also have to thank. You're doing this as well, girl, you wavin' it, but you also have this thing. You're doing this as well, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, or you see somebody like, scratching their head and you're like, that's you. You do that. When people would do their three characteristics

of what they're looking for in someone, did you feel they were being honest most of the time or no? Yes. You thought they were? Yeah, usually. Because sometimes I feel like when my, I'll do, you know, you talk to your friends and be like, they'll be like, oh, I'm so tired of being single,

dating's a nightmare or whatever, or the thing we all say be like, they'll be like, oh, I'm so tired of being single, dating's a nightmare, or whatever, or the thing we all say. And then you'll be like, what are you looking for? And my, you know, some of my closest friends will just straight up lie to my face. Like, I'm looking for someone kind. I'm like, no, you're not. You have ditched every kind person you've dated.

Well, kind is, I gotta say, kind is boring. Yeah. Where's the toxicity? Yeah, you want toxic. A little bit, just a crumb of it. Too nice is not good. Yeah. Yeah, where's the toxicity? Yeah, you want toxic? Two nights is not good. Yeah, not like it's boring. Yeah, but also if you're too nice I'ma feel like you gonna murder me. Yeah, like you're hiding something. Yeah. Why why you being so nice? What are you hiding? Yeah, let's unpack that. Yeah, or they'll say nothing physical and I'm like that sometimes that's true But then your friend who is so like it'll be a friend that I'm like you have only ever dated one type of person

You've only ever dated tall guys and you're not mentioning tall that's feeling crazy to me Well, usually when I ask women will start with tall and it's like girl that's implied. Yeah, we're starting Yeah, but tall is already in me. It's in the renderings. Yeah, it's in the renderings. Tall is in the renderings baked in. No girl is ever like small petite prince girl. Yeah, it's in the renderings. Paul is in the renderings, baked in. No girl is ever like, small, petite prince, girl. We know you want him to be tall. And if he's tall, and then they be like, nice, smart. I'm like, if he's tall, he not gonna be smart, and he's not gonna be nice.

If you want smart and nice more than you want tall, we're gonna put short in there. Yeah, it's gonna be an option. You gotta get you a little, a five, seven, five, eight. They're nicer, they're lower to the ground. Yeah, they're more humble, they're down there. Yeah, it's gonna be an option. You gotta get you a little of five seven five eight. Yeah. They're nicer, they're lower to the ground. Yeah, yeah, they're more humble, they're down there. Right, but a tall guy is not gonna be smart. Yeah. The air is thinner up there. He's got God in his ear. Yeah, he's up there. He can't spell. The text is gonna be crazy. His grammar is non-existent. No. He's tall and gorgeous. Yes. Yes! So that, and I always say that and they're like, Teehee? And I'm like, no, you're laughing, but I've done the research. Yeah, if you want a well-read king, you better get someone who's down on those levels of the library stats. Yeah, the low books. Where they put the hard-to-find ones.

That is so funny. Tall guys can't access those. No, they don't even go to the library. Why should they? They're tall. Yeah, they're playing basketball. They're in the NBA. All tall guys are in the NBA. Every tall guy is in the NBA.

I've never seen a tall guy who wasn't an NBA player. I sat between two really famous NBA players, and I'm not a basketball guy on a flight recently. And I don't know who they were, but I know they were. I recognize their faces as like that's a guy who was a famous basketball player and now is like a famous commentator and I sat between both of them on the plane. Shaquille O'Neal. No, I wish. God, I wish it was Charles Barkley and Shaquille O'Neal. Those are my guys.

They're so funny together. I could cry. I love them so much. They're the funniest duo that's ever existed. I know. Just like that's the dream, right? To have a fun job, just judging other people doing the thing that you used to do, and you get to do it with your funny friend. Yeah. And make lots of money.

I mean, I've said this on the show several times, but the way that Shaq specifically eggs Charles on, the way that Charles would be doing, saying something, he's in the middle of saying something that is so, he should not be saying it, and Shaq would just be doing, he's in the middle of saying something that is so, he should not be saying it. And Shaq would just be like, what else, Chuck? You need a friend like that.

That is the best thing. Yeah, say it, say it with your chest. Yeah, go ahead, Chuck, what else? It really cracks me the fuck up. You do a good Shaq. I love him, I think about him all the time. He had a reality show on maybe like Max or something. I watched every episode. Shaq? Yes. What was the reality show? It was just like him living his life. It was just him like, it was like him running his

businesses. He like went into a Papa John's. Isn't he also like a sheriff? Yes. He's a deputy sheriff. Shaq's reality show is prominent is Shaq life. His life is entertainment. Shaq's life. I just loved, I watched every life is entertainment. Shaq's life. I just loved, I watched every episode of it. It was fucking awesome. Who do you think is having more fun in their side quests? Shaq or Snoop? Shaq.

Well, Snoop was at the Olympics on a horse. He has the show with Martha Stewart. He's selling Skechers now. I don't know if he's a sheriff, but he might be a lieutenant or something. Both of them started doing one thing, did it well, and then have now done, are doing a million other things. Yeah, that's the dream. Truly.

And you know, we haven't gotten this from her, and it makes me sad, but I don't think she wants it. But Queen Latifah, if she wanted to do, I wish she had,, cause you know, Shaq's got the DJing, Snoop's got like the cooking shows with Martha and stuff, I want more, as a fan of Queen Latifah's, I want her to do more like stuff as herself, in real world, unscripted,

but I just think she's so rich and chillin'. She is, and her hair always, always looks good. She never doesn't look amazing. She's never had a bad hair day from like living single days to now. Yeah. Always looks good. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe she doesn't want to do that. I don't think she does and I also wish she, yeah, if she would dive back into music I would be so here for it. But well Sydney was telling me that Queen Latifah, so Meg the Stallion bought Queen Latifah out at Coachella and then like posted like videos of them like her trying Escargot for the first time with Latifah and her wife and she was like the videos are so fun to watch. Queen Latifah is funny. Oh yeah. Yeah. She's, she again,

like Jamie Foxx, she's one of our true, like she's funny, she's a brilliant musical artist, she's a serious, set it off. Set it off. She's a brilliant musical artist, she's a serious, set it off. She's a brilliant serious actor, and she can do it all. Oh wait, what's the movie that she did with that white dude, the old white guy? Steve Martin. Yes, what's that movie? Bringing Down the House.

Bringing Down the House. Classic Queen Latifah movie, and then Last Holiday. Love that movie. Last Holiday is so fucking good. Life changing Christmas movie. Because I was like, yeah, we all gonna die. Buy the dress. Yeah, I love last holiday. I love it. I love last holiday. It's my second favorite Queen Latifah movie. What's the first one? Set it off. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I love set it off. My friend was sad and like really going through it a couple years ago like during the pandemic, I think.

And we were like, let's cheer her up. We all went to her house, you know, we're having like a girl's day. We're like, what should we watch? She had never seen Set It Off. We were like, let's watch Set It Off. We watched it, the saddest movie. It's not a cheer up movie at all. The saddest movie.

It's sad every step of the way. The whole movie is sad. And by the way, it's sad in every way you can imagine. It's like, it's like sexual every way you can imagine. It's like it's like it's a violent sad It's police violence sad. It's sad for every single character Has to sleep with that gross man for a check for her brother to go to college. Yes He don't want to go to college. He doesn't want to go to college They're doing the cleaning business and the what's her name? Kimberley? Kimber Kimberly Elise brings her son. He like drinks bleach.

Yeah, that's sad. Yeah. Vivica A. Fox loses her job at the bank because the bank gets robbed. That's sad. Queen Latifah goes out, sad. And you didn't even mention, by the way, not only does he not want to go to college,

he gets killed by the police. Yes. The whole thing is like, every step is more sad than you could ever imagine. But also imagine having sex with somebody nasty that you don't want, for money, for a good thing, for like, to send my brother to college. And then he's like, man, fuck college. No, you need to go fuck that man.

Yeah, you need to sleep with him and give me my money back. Double our money, go sleep with him. Yeah, it really is sad, but every single one of them turns in, there are like five Oscar winning performances in that movie. And not one Oscar was won. And that's what I'm saying. Queen Latifah should have gotten an Oscar for that movie,

and I will never stop talking about it. I love her, and if she would do a reality show, I would tune in. I don't think she will. I know she will, and I actually really respect that. I don't think she wants it, but goddamn, she's funny. Do you think a movie has to be sad for somebody to win an Oscar?

Yeah, I just don't think we respect comedy in that way. Yeah. If anybody was gonna win an Oscar for a comedy ever, I think it would have been, well, I guess I shouldn't say that. I think what I mean to say is, when I think of an Oscar-winning comedy performance, I think of Michael Keaton in The Other Guys.

Have you ever seen this? Was that the Will Ferrell one? Will Ferrell, uh-huh. Yeah, I don't remember Michael Keaton. Michael Keaton plays the captain at the police station. He plays that role so goddamn funny. This is him in it. Oh, yes, I've seen this. Dude, the Bed Bath and Beyond,

where he does it as a side hustle so his bisexual DJ son can go to NYU. I've talked about this on the show before. Well, you know what? There's actually a connection to you, me and this movie, because we did the DC show and that guy came backstage afterwards, who I think maybe he works for Adam McKay or something. He works for Bed Bath and Beyond. Yeah, he works for Bed Bath and Beyond. But he came to the show and that guy came backstage afterwards who I think maybe he works for Adam McKay or something.

He works for Bed, Bath and Beyond. Yeah, he works for Bed, Bath and Beyond. But he came to the show and was like, I'm the guy who says the, um, dancing in High Smith, free hot dogs for life, no drinks, I can't do it. The guy who says that in that movie came to the DC show and we talked to him backstage. He said that to you backstage? He said I'm the guy that says this? Yes.

He's like a producer who like had a line in that movie for fun I guess or maybe he was an actor at the time. But how did that come up that he needed you to know that he said that? Because I talk about how much I love that line all the time. It's one of my favorite lines in a comedy movie. Got it got it got it got it got it got it. And I talk about it on the podcast and he came to the show and was like that's me. And I was like cool You're like, do you want some rotisserie chicken? I was like, have some of this cold rotisserie chicken. Yeah. Have some rosé. Have some rosé. Yes. Um, you know who else should have won an Oscar, an Academy Award for a movie that's also kind of sad? Angela Bassett. What's love

got to do with it? Okay, I'm gonna cry because the way she played that role, I have not seen something like it. I thought for years that that was Tina Turner. Yeah. And then I saw Tina and I was like, no, that's not her. Where's Angel? I'm about to say.

No, that's not her. Yeah, well, it was, I don't know what channel I was watching that this was, I watched that movie a million times and I watched the Temptations movie a million times. Do you know what I'm talking about? Probably BET. Those two, I wasn't.

Come on, Kaila. It might have been BET. You come from a BET home. We were definitely watching BET, but I also thought maybe it was MTV, but BET makes more sense to me. It might have been VH1, because I feel like they used to play movies.

But yeah, the first time I saw What's Love Got to Do With It, I was just like clicking through the channels, and I was like, oh, what's this? And then I was like, oh my, and also The Temptations movie. I had never seen them from the start. I had only ever seen them from like halfway

or like kinda close to the beginning, and every time it's on, I would have to watch either of those movies. Yeah, if I'm in a hotel room to this day and then Temptations movie is on, I'm just like, yeah, this is what we're watching. I thought those guys were the Temptations. And who played Ike Turner, was it Warren's Fishburne?

Yes, Morpheus. Morpheus. Now, and I literally, like two days ago, I was, I randomly was Googling Ike Turner. So I was looking at pictures of Ike and Tina and Angela Bassett kept coming up. Yeah. And then when you look at she really embodied that. Yeah. Killed it. She's amazing. Her body, her voice, her when she's wearing

the white suit and they're fighting in the limo. Girl. Yeah she's incredible in that. I wish I do wish I do your question though about can only sad movies be like award worthy? I do wish we cared more about comedy, culturally. I mean comedy albums win Academy Awards. And Whoopi Goldberg won for Ghost. She was kind of funny in that. Yeah, but not, do you know what I'm saying though? Like a big studio, well we don't really do big studio comedies anymore

But those are never considered like award-winning like it is something that's like very sad or dramatic or jump saying Oh, yeah, remember when Charlize one I was like, oh my god. She didn't have no makeup at all. Yeah They made her look like that. Yeah, she looked bad. She did Hey, they succeeded yeah, they Hey, they drew up the renderings, and they accomplished it in a big way. She gained a bunch of weight. Yeah. She killed a couple people.

Yeah, she might've actually killed people for that. Yeah. Yeah. What was I thinking deserved an Oscar recently? Something, there was something that I watched recently that I was like, damn, that's Oscar winning. Mm, it escapes me, but. It's fine. Yeah, we'll fix it We'll add it in post Murray. What's so true to you? Oh my god. I wrote I wrote some stuff down

Cuz I was like literally I was thinking about this in the shower at 4 a.m. I was like Yeah, that's what I was in cuz I had to shoot some content that they've been begging me for for the last three weeks And I was like I have to do it tonight. Um okay what is so true to me? Um what's on your heart? Did you want to talk about something that's so true to you? No I want to talk about yours. Well I wrote a couple things I don't know if any of them are good. Can we go through like three of them? Yeah baby. And then the one that we like can stay. Yeah easy. think every year, once a year, we should have a pandemic for a month.

What do you mean by that? Like shut the world down for a full month. So you think just a shutdown, just shut it down. Yeah. One, one month a year. Yeah. One 12th of the year we shut everything down. Yes. The whole world, everybody on mute. Yeah. Or just, you know what I mean? I think they do that in Europe. It's called summer vacation. Yeah. Truly, if you work with European people

and you try to email them in the summer, good luck, you'll hear from them in October. Everything is time, everything that I wrote is a time thing. If you pay your rent on time, every single, like you should get like a punch card. Yeah. And like get one month rent free. That is really true.

That is a real, Marie, that is maybe my favorite social we've ever had. Yeah, cause I'm paying it on time every month. Every month. Yeah. And on time is loose. Yeah, but before the seventh. It's always gonna be before the seventh.

Yeah. It might be the sixth. Yeah. But I feel like I'm paying rent regularly. You taking it from me Like if I can get a free coffee after 12, I should be able to get a free rent a free Yeah, or a free upgrade of my choosing even right? Hey come in here and put in a washer dryer for me Hey, take this white refrigerator out get this out of here. Come and change the knobs on the cabinets

I'm not enjoying the lights is dusty. Come on lights metal lights in here. Come on, get in here. Cause it's like, what are we paying for? Yeah, well, their mortgages and their lifestyle. You know, landlords, you're gonna accidentally get me started. Landlords income went up 30% last year. Did anyone else's? Did any workers, did people who work at McDonald's, did their income go up 30% last year?

No, so these people make more and more money off of us. They're colluding. I read an article like two days ago. Did you watch a TikTok or did you actually? I read an article because it's in the newsletter of KC Tenants, the organization that I love in Kansas City, and they send out a newsletter and there's links at the bottom that are like things to be reading. And I read this article about how there's a lawsuit right now that several states are involved in that because the landlords all got together

and started using this technology that basically put them in cahoots with each other to instead of competing in the market, which is every capitalist's favorite thing to talk about is how great the market competition is for all of us allegedly. They just started artificially getting together and saying, hey, we're all gonna raise our rent to this amount

so that no one can find any housing that isn't this expensive. It's so crazy to me that the apartment will be the same. Yeah. They're not upgrading anything. They're like painting over some light sockets maybe. If even. And then when someone moves out,

they're like, let's add three, four, $500 to this. Or they force them out by saying, we're gonna raise this $500, you can pay it or leave. Yeah, I'm not paying that It's nuts squatters rights. Yeah, I'll be staying in here actually No, I don't yeah, it drives me nuts. These people are these people are criminals So the least they could do is give us a punch card a punch card. Hey girl Thank you

Simbers on us. Yeah, or hey birthday month. Yeah Yeah, they're bad they're bad that. That would be huge. One month of free rent also, it's crazy to think about how much one month of free rent would change so many people's lives. Rent is like so much. Well, in New York, I don't know where you live. You know, it might be... Oh, it's up everywhere. It might be $800 wherever you're at. It's up everywhere. Everywhere? Yeah. Oh, it's up everywhere. It might be $800, wherever you at. It's up everywhere. Everywhere? Yeah, oh, it's rising across the country. The rate of rent is up, and it's up in places. Kansas City actually has,

and I'm very distinctly unproud of this, Kansas City has the highest rate of rent increase in the country. What? Rate, yeah, so from where it's been to where it's headed. Okay. Now, it would be hard to compete with a place like New York because it's always been expensive.

But yeah, the rent is raising everywhere and people can't afford it. What's the average price of a one bedroom in Kansas City, you think? I did know this at one point and I feel like the average price of a one bedroom in Kansas City might have been like 13, 1400. Should we be blaming Taylor Swift and that man?

That man. Ha ha ha ha ha. No, we should blame, we should and do blame landlords, private equity firms, and the government for not stepping in and regulating this shit. Oh, they don't give a damn. Well, they more than don't give a damn. They're in the pockets of these people.

They make money off of it. So during the pandemic, everybody in my building was like, you know what? We should not have to pay rent or something like that. They got together and they're like, we should be able to get it lowered or delayed or whatever. And they were like, let's talk to the landlord. And I was like, it's not gonna be good for that.

I already knew. I was like a Trinidadian landlord. I said, Caribbean people notoriously cheap and about their money. So they were like, let's all write an email or a letter. And I said, y'all do that. And they did it. And she responded, oh my god.

You guys should thank the Lord that you have a place to live in this difficult time. Literally, God has blessed you with an apartment to live in. Queen behavior, honestly, yeah. You will be paying your rent as you pay your rent. I'm pro-anlord now, yeah. That brought me over, that brought me over. I'm pro-anlord.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not even lobbying for the landlords now. Queen behavior, she said, it's actually godly of me to accept that rent on time, and I will be. Yeah. Yeah, you'll be paying that rent on time. And will, yeah.

And will. Indeed. You will pay and I will receive. Thank you. And they were shocked. And I was like, honey, yeah, you're leaving here with nothing. You're leaving here with nothing. Literally. Yeah. I mean some of these people are over leveraged. That's the other thing is like they've gotten themselves in bad positions

where they can't afford to pay their their notes every month without the extortion of the people that live in their buildings because some of the some of the landlords have it really good where like they inherited these buildings or they got them during a crash of some sort when the interest rates were 2%. So they can afford like if a couple people don't pay rent or if they don't have they don't raise it 500 bucks every year, they can actually afford to still pay their bills. Some of these new landlords decided that they were going

to hack their income or whatever and they went and bought two expensive properties and over leveraged themselves and now they're in a bad way. I don't feel bad for them. I don't either but I'm saying that's why they're being so evil about it. They don't need no more money. I think if you hit a billion dollars like if you make money and you hit a billion your account should reset. Maybe it's not a billion. I think if you hit a billion, your account should reset. Or maybe it's not a billion. I think if you hit a certain amount, let's say, how much money do you think people actually need?

300 million? If you hit 100 million, you hit $100 million, you got a, like it goes back to zero. How much money do you think people actually need? $300 million? How much does Mariah have? Yeah, whatever $300 million? $300 million? Yeah. How much does Mariah have? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Whatever Mariah's got, you can have that. I think she has half a billion dollars. Yeah. I think she's worth like 500 million. Yeah. Yeah, if you hit on $100 million, you get a 0%. Yeah, it should be humiliating to be a billionaire. If I was a billionaire, I would be embarrassed.

I would literally be on the street every day being like, please take this money from me. I would be handing out cash. I'd be like, please, please, please. You would rent a hot air balloon. Yes. And he take this money from me. I would be handing out cash. I'd be like, please, please, please. You'd rent a hot air balloon. Yes. And he would throw money from me. I would be humiliated.

I'd be like, please don't let me be like those guys. Take this, take this away. Cause what? Have you ever thought about what a billion dollars is? Yeah. And then there's people who have multiple billion dollars. Yeah. Well, you know what?

You know what trips me up, though, is when there are sometimes people on the internet will try and do where they're like, just to give context to what a billion dollars is. And then they'll give an example that is so much more confusing to me than I was started out. Like, they'll be like, if you took a football field and multiplied it by 10 for every lot in the country that

wasn't occupied by a family, and you did that 10 times every day for 100 years, you still, I start going, hold on, can we find a different way to talk about it? You have fractions on your face. You're like Winona Ryder. It's a beautiful mind montage. I'm like, hold on. You have pins with string.

You're like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Somehow I understand a billion dollars less, and I'm less mad at them and not mad at you. I'm like, why are you explaining it this way? Right, a football field? Why is that? Yeah, they start getting weird with it. They're like, if every day you made $20 for every second

that you weren't doing a chore. Okay, wait, let's see if we can break it down. So a million dollars is $100,000 a hundred times? Wait, 10 times, right? No, because then that's... Ten hundred thousand dollars. Is that what a million is? Ten hundred thousand dollars.

Yeah, right? Yeah, because it's yeah. Okay, so I'm already like, I'm already like, woo. In the football field? Ten hundred thousand dollars is a million. So a million, hold on. So a billion is ten hundred thousand dollars. So a billion is ten hundred thousand dollars.

So a billion is ten hundred thousand dollars. So a billion is ten hundred thousand dollars. So a billion is ten hundred thousand dollars. So a billion is ten hundred thousand dollars. So a billion is ten hundred thousand dollars. So a billion is ten hundred thousand dollars. So a billion is ten hundred thousand dollars. So a billion is ten hundred thousand dollars.

So a billion is ten hundred thousand dollars. So a billion is ten hundred thousand dollars. So a billion is ten hundred thousand dollars. So a billion is ten hundred hold on. So a billion is 10. No, I think about this. A million is $10,000,000. So 10 million is a hundred hundred thousand dollars, right? No, my brain is broken. That's not how I do it. Let's do it the other way. is a hundred hundred thousand dollars, right? No, my brain is broken. That's not how I do it. Let's do it the other way. Let's do it the other way.

Let's do it the other way. Let's do it the other way. Because we're trying to get now to a hundred million. Yeah. That's one million a hundred times. Yeah, that is so easy. That part makes sense to me. That's easy.

A hundred million is a hundred millions. Yeah, I get that. It's a hundred million. Yeah, that part makes sense to me. 100 million is 100 millions. Yeah. It's a hundred million. Yeah, that really makes sense to me. Now a hundred million, 10 times is a billion? Yeah, cause it's a 10 hundred million, which would be a new thing, which is the billion. I think we did it.

We did it. Yeah, so a hundred million, 10 times is a billion. I think. What? We don't have it. It doesn't matter. We don't have it. And Raynor's are we don't have it. We don't have it. And Raynaud's are bad.

And I think if you have a hundred million dollars, that's the max. That should be the max. Yeah. Cause what else do you need? By the way, we're smart people and look how dumb we just looked. Ooh, man, that is hard.

So understand that's how evil it is. The devil is working to make us look stupid. I took calculus. Yeah. Pre-calculus. AP? I don't know what those were. No, it wasn't AP. I didn't do stuff like that.

I don't even know if my school had that stuff. It did it. Sometimes people from nice schools and nice places will talk to me and they'll be like, well of course when I took college prep, la da da, I'm like, my school might have had that, but maybe I just wasn't doing it. I took a couple AP classes.

Yeah. I don't know what those were. It didn't matter. Yeah. I have a segment for you, Marie. Oh, okay know what those were. It didn't matter. Yeah. I have a segment for you, Marie. Oh. OK. True or false?

OK. This is a game. Love games. You love games. I play them. I'm going to read you 15 statements. You're going to tell me as quickly as you can if you think what I just said was true or false.

OK. And then if you get 10 or more correct, I'm going to give you $50 US dollars. Is that $1.50 times? So that's basically if you have $1 and you do that 50 times, then you have $50. Wow. Yeah.

Look out, Jeff Bezos. He's done, yeah, you're coming for him. Okay, fish don't blink. They do blink. False. It's true. Butterfly. I've seen a fish blink before.

No, no, you haven't. I have. Hey, Nicole, are you keeping track of these, by the way, for me? Oh, I will. Will you? I saw a finding Nem seen a fish blink before. No, no you haven't. I have. Hey, Nicole, are you keeping track of these by the way for me? Oh, I will. Will you? I saw a finding Nemo. They blink. Pixar fish blink.

Butterflies taste with their wings. No. False. It's their feet. Milk is the most popular beverage on the planet. No, false. False. It's water.

Haiti's motto is liberty, equality, fraternity. That's false. It's water. Haiti's motto is liberty equality fraternity That's false. That's true. Whoa Leviticus is the third book in the Bible That's true that is true a blue whales heart can weigh up to 400 pounds do they have hearts True it is true Long Island is smaller than Rhode Island. I don't know. False. False. Miss Frizzle was the teacher in the Magic School bus. Oh, true. True. MTV stands for Millennial Television. False.

Is that false, music television? Texas has the largest population of all US states. False. False. California. A human can survive a month without water. False. False. Only about three days. You cannot buy fireworks without water. False. False. Only about three days. You cannot buy fireworks in Massachusetts. False. True.

Mariah Carey has won 12 Grammy Awards. True. False. Only six. That's crazy. That's not right is what that is. Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, 1776. False. True. I knew the Miss Frizzle one, though.

You did big time. Omnivores eat both plants and meat. True. True. How'd she do? 10. Nice! Oh! Let's go! I'm rich, bitch! Yeah, you're a landlord now.

I am leaving here with some. You guys should be blessed that Marie let you live in her building. God has sent you Marie's landlord. Marie, we love you. a landlord now. I am leaving here with someone. You guys should be blessed that Marie lets you live in her building. God has sent you Marie's landlord. Marie, we love you. That was hard. That was hard. He kind of did a hard one.

Chance wrote a hard one on that one. Yeah. Chance did that? Chance writes those. Send Chance a message. Yeah, send him a note. Write to him. We love you.

Is there anything you want to plug? I have a podcast. It's called Mess. I do it with Sydney, Washington. It's fantastic. And I host a show called it's called Mess. I do it with Sydney Washington, it's fantastic. And I host a show called Why Are You Single? And it's all about helping people find red flags, not love, not helping people find love.

Not love, we won't do it. Not us. People will show up and be like, I thought I was playing for a chance at a date with you. You're not. No, you're not in that game. In this America? No.

You're not in that race. Yeah. But there is a couch you could buy if you wanted to be competitive. Ooh, OK. Should we render it? I am accepting couches and renderings. And renderings.

And then you can find me on Instagram, Reezy, R-E-E-E-Z-Y. Raaah, Marie, thank you for doing it. Thank you for having me and waiting, because I was half an hour late. We don't care about that. That was a HateGum podcast. Hey, gorge, it's me, GotMick. And me, Violet Chachki. And we want you to listen to our podcast, Nah, we don't care about that. with past guests such as Heidi Klum and Deedavon Tease, KnowGorge always keeps things hot. Listen to KnowGorge on your favorite podcast app

or watch full video episodes on YouTube. New episodes every Thursday. Bye, Gorge. Hi there. My name is Allison Williams. If you know who I am at all, it would probably be thanks to my job as an actress on shows like Girls and in movies like Megan.

Recently, when I was having a moment of gratitude for my group chat, I am at all, it would probably be thanks to my job as an actress on shows like Girls and in movies like Megan. Recently when I was having a moment of gratitude for my group chat, I thought I wish everyone could have these geniuses at their fingertips like I do. Well, now you do. Hi, hi, it's Hope. Hey, babe. It's Jamie. Welcome to our podcast, Landlines, where we share our life-sustaining and shame-extinguishing friendship. We have known each other and we've been friends for a very long time. Hope was my first best friend, but it wasn't mutual. I mean, it wasn't the story of my life. I distinctly remember calling her on the phone and asking if she'd sit next to me on the bus,

and she said maybe. At least she didn't say no. She was maybe a meaner. She wasn't sure. Maybe he was like discerning. When I was pregnant, I started this group chat to prepare and crowdsource, and it's been such a delight to troubleshoot with our friend group. And we just had this thought, should we invite other people into our group chat?

I'm a therapist. I'm a trained early childhood educator. And I'm, well, you know, whatever I am, I guess someone who has the vibe of having it all together. And still the three of us find it hard to be moms, partners, friends, family members, professional women, and just, you know, adults. The stuff we're talking about, whatever the recent fight was with our partner,

or the parenting concern we have, or a funny thing with our kids, or it's like, what's going on with my body? I feel like I have like a family of squirrels living in my lower abdomen. Like I feel affirmed, I feel normalized, I feel like I'm not going fucking crazy. And I had to talk it out with you guys with different perspectives and different identities

that you're juggling. Totally. Lifelong friendship has been our lifeline. We sincerely hope our conversation makes you feel less alone in whatever you're going through. So subscribe to Landlines on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Pocket Casts, or wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes are out now on Headcom. Love you!