Son of a Boy Dad - Front Split | Son of a Boy Dad #323

Episode Date: August 5, 2025

Front Split | Son of a Boy Dad #323 -- #Ad: Go to https://Quince.com/BOYDAD for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. -- #Ad: Download the Gametime app today and use code BOYDAD for $20 off your first purchase -- #Ad: Eat smart at https://FactorMeals.com/son50off and use code son50off to get 50 percent off plus FREE shipping on your first box. -- #Ad: Go to https://vuori.com/BOYDAD for 20% off your first purchase. Exclusions apply. Visit the website for full terms and conditions. -- Follow us on our socials: https://linktr.ee/sonofaboydad -- Merch: https://store.barstoolsports.com/collections/son-of-a-boy-dad -- SUBSCRIBE TO THE YOUTUBE #SonOfABoyDad #BarstoolSportsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, son of a boy, dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube prime members can listen ad free on Amazon music. Alrighty. Welcome back to the son of a boy, dad podcast. We are here live from HQ three, bringing you. A new hour of heat, a son of a boy, dad of liquid heat, a new hour of the son of a boy dad experience. I started training a new a new goal of mine. I just got a brand new goal today. What is it? Do best. That's mine. And you never

fall short. I've never seen you falter. I'm trying. Not there yet, though. No, you are bro. It's all about resilience. It's the climb honestly. All about practicing resilience these days. The joys and the journey. Yeah. Exactly.

Problem is you haven't been knocked down. Oh I've been knocked down. No reason to employ the resilience. I've been knocked down brother. No you get knocked down. Like you couldn't even imagine. You can't be resilient until something bad happens right? The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows.

No. I don't know if anyone's ever told you that. Hey, listen. It'll beat you up and knock you to your knees if you let it. You drink a whiskey drink, you drink a vodka drink, you drink a cider drink, you drink a vodka drink. You sing the songs that remind you of the good times, you sing the songs that remind you of the best times.

When the going gets tough, the tough get going. Pressure makes diamonds. Pressure makes diamonds. Pressure makes perfect. Been big into motivational videos. My new goal is to do a front split. Really? Give up on that immediately? Imagine if I just sat down in front of you boys, fucking dead eye contact with both of you cross-eyed. I'd hate it.

And I just did a fucking front split in your fucking faces. Harry drops like a piece of paper or something. You're like, oh, I'll get that for you. You know what's weird? And it's not even like, not even in like in a homophobic way of saying it, but it is like when we were, when I was growing up, all the kids that were like, everyone assumed were gay,

who ended up being gay, all could do splits. Very easily. Like it was just like a thing. Like they all could do splits. Yeah, they could. Yeah. That is true. Someone look at you dead in the eyes

with their hands on their hips. It's like, oh yeah. Like at recess they just be banging out splits. They're just loose and I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. Because like they wind up in sports like figure skating and gymnastics, but it's not because those sports attract gay people. No.

It's because you, while being gay, are predisposed to having really limber inner thoughts. I don't know if you are here. I think it might just be a coincidence. Really? Just a cosmic coincidence. Maybe there's probably some straight bros out there who can do splits and just don't know. And maybe it's Maybelline. Yeah. At what point does coincidence become correlation? Right, exactly. It's causation. I don't know. You do a split so you're just like, wow this feels incredible. I guess you are right because I've, I remember being little and trying to do a split and stop. I guess I'm straight.

You saw her tits go bouncing by. Like I'll come right back up here. Nope, nope, that hurts. That's too hard. My body's not supposed to bend that way. Man. Yeah. The fucking best.

Absolutely. The best. Yeah. Some motivational speeches on the wall, just like they had up the posters. Yeah, I've been like in motivational speeches. I've been like in, oh, I started quarterbacks last night. I'm going to get into that.

Incredible. Incredible. Oh, fuck yeah. I'm so glad to hear that. It was, dude, I started it and I was skeptical because I watched the trailer for the first season and I was like, this looks like a reality show. Like this looks, and it was like Patrick Mahomes I know all about his wedding and stuff yeah I don't care about this at all

that's what made me get out of it. Get in the huddle. Let's get in the fucking locker room. And then I get then I started season two because Ronan Tyler were talking about it and it is that I would say I was like I don't want to see anything I don't care about Kurt Cousins the Kurt Cousins stuff is phenomenal. He has the best story. He's the best part of the whole entire show. Hang on a second. Is this their previous season? Yeah.

Last season? Yeah. Okay. But it is like, it's really good. Like it goes into detail about like. Starts before the season. Yeah. Goes into his rehab, his joy of signing with them.

Then they draft Penics. Yeah, them drafting Penics. It talks about Joe Burrow, like having playing the best football. He has a gay fashion designer. Oh, yeah. How cool is that? A Gashan designer, a Gashan designer and he designed the he designed the backless suit that he wore at the fashion show. He was he walked in the Louis fashion show wore a backless

suit. Did he really? Yeah. It was him and Justin Jefferson. Justin Jefferson was like, nah, yeah, not in word. Wow. Cool. Yeah. It's good. It's perfect. It's so nice. Yeah. They taught they show like him playing really well. And then how obviously how their defense was dog shit. Doesn't him having a gay Asian fashion designer like make you see him different as a quarterback? Not at all. I assumed his fashion designer, like, you see him different as a quarterback? Not at all. I assumed his fashion designer was a gay man. A gay Asian?

But also he's showing up to the games wearing, like, mesh suits. So, yeah, I kind of expected that. But like, even just the fact that he has the boldness to do that as a person, it's like, oh yeah, he's gonna make that throw. He can make a layered throw over cover to coverage. I think he could be the best in the league easily. He dresses like he's trying to make a statement about fishing and sustainable fishing.

Like the need to clean up excess netting and stuff. He's not even for the girls. Like the six pack rings around your neck. Yeah. What a giant. Yeah. Dude, one, That's funny. That's better. You did better.

So what made me there if you hadn't brought that up? Yeah, I allied, but he oop so hard on your own. I am. I heard a thing about him that made me really respect him even more as a quarterback, which is that I know someone who ended up going to one of those Michael Rubin white parties.

Oh, yeah. And he was there and he said that Joe Burrow was just rolling and chain smoking blunts the entire time. But like rolling them himself. Oh yeah. Oh I thought you meant he was like rolling face. Yeah I thought you meant he was rolling on the ecstasy. He was like rolling up like.

Clip it, clip it right up. Chain smoking blunts. And it's like, a guy like that, I don't know, I would have thought he would have the equivalent to that receiver that stands up next to him to catch the passes while he's warming up of a blunt roller. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because he's someone who needs to dedicate

all of his time and energy to learning plays and studying film. And he made $260 million. He could easily do that. Why doesn't he have a guy right next to him, some kid who rules the tightest, best blunts in the world? He could just enjoy the process. Instead, learned the process himself and perfected it at Master. The show starts with him playing piano. Does he? It's a little performative.

I had a feeling. Let's relax on that. He was learning. Let's relax on that. He was learning. Let's just say he has a piano and he knows how to sit on next to it. He's literally just like pressing around.

It was his first, no, it was his first. You heard the song he was playing by the end. I really wanna get better at this. But I mean, they couldn't show him rolling blunts. Like they're probably trying to illustrate Francis's same point, but they can't do it with that so they're like could you learn to play the piano real quick? He's well-rounded is what they're trying to say but I said it a better way with a better vignette. His

whole thing about going to bed at what seven during during the season. Maybe I zoned out. I don't know if that no I don't know if that's in the documentary. I don't know. He said that in past didn't he? Okay. I don't know if that no, I don't know if that's in the documentary Oh, I don't know that's what he said that in past in me. Okay. I don't know if I believe it. I Don't know these guys need to fucking sleep. I believe that but I don't know if I believe doesn't LeBron sleep for Hi, actually, it's LeBron. He's probably he's like I sleep for 16 hours a night like a lion I sleep for probably like nine months a year.

French bulldog. I hibernate. I don't know. I just like anyone that says they're going to bed at seven. I just don't know how that's even like, how does that even, like you don't have anything going on after like, I can't go to bed at seven. If you have shit like I have people reaching out to me for shit. If you two, if you were friends with someone who went to bed at 7pm, the two of you would

never speak ever. No, no. You'd never be able to talk to each other. I don't go to bed crazy, or I do, but I don't really as often anymore. You'd be shit passing for sure though. But like. Seven is seven hours ahead of when you routinely go to bed. By the time he's ready to wake up

from a healthy night of sleep, you're like, I'm gonna take my last sip of Diet Coke and shut it down for the evening. But what's the point? So he's waking up when, at three? 3.30 would be my guess, four. And he starts getting going. That's what truly high functioning athletes do.

They wake up at four. Why not just go to bed at midnight and wake up at eight? Because the practice facility opens probably at five o'clock. My guess is that- So why not go to bed at like 11? But he's gotta be the first one in the building, like he's setting the tone. I just don't understand.

I just have a hard time finding any need to wake up at four. I'll tell you why. I tell you why this- And I've always, I've always- I'll tell you why this is the case, Okay. So, you know, as a former, almost professional athlete myself, so we, the training room opened at five 30

and we would have conditioning and lifting and stuff like that, mandatory team stuff, starting at like seven. So if you wanted treatment, you know, cause we only had one trainer or two trainers that could help us for like 15 guys that needed treatment before everything. You had to get there early enough to get strapped in and do all your, get your lotion and all the hot tub, cult, whatever, um, at a time well before the mandatory stuff.

And so my guess is that Joe Burrow, they probably have mandatory team stuff, whether it's film or lift or whatever, at like 8.30 a.m., 9 a.m. Maybe earlier. Yeah. You gotta be up five hours ahead of time. For him to have his morning, you know what I mean?

Like you have a morning routine, right? You wake up, you look at your clock, you're like, holy shit, fuck. We're recording the podcast in 15 minutes. I gotta jerk off. I forgot we were going as early as 1 p.m. today. And then you- I was up hours before the podcast today.

First one here too, so. Funny joke, but not true at all. Well, why not true at all. Well, why not four then? Why weren't you, you were the last one here per usual. Yeah, true. True. And what, what reason did I give for that? I'm sure I texted something. Something, some nonsense. Some nonsense about.

Something about taking care of kids. Some absolute bullshit. I mean, maybe he likes to just have a leisurely. It is kind of bullshit because you were late before you had kids to do. Yeah, it's the best excuse. I would much rather I would. This is what I would say. I'm at a point now in my life at 36 where it's more important

for me to wake up earlier and get through my morning routine than it is to get that extra hour of sleep and rush out the door. Yeah, I get that. That's kind of what I'm trying to do. Even if it means going from eight hours to seven hours or from seven hours to six hours, I'm like, I gotta, if I'm going to the airport at 8 a.m.,

I'm waking up at 6.30, 6.45. Like leaving at eight. Yeah, I would say mine's just, I wanna be up like two hours before I have to leave. You ever hear Jeff Bezos, who's full routine, he says he spends an hour in the morning puttering around. He reserves an hour specifically to putter. That's like the word he used, he putters around.

So just like pacing. I don't even know what puttering really is. I don't understand like that, like that type of, like that doesn't even sound appealing, having that type of lifestyle where it's like, all right, time to putter for 30 minutes. I putter a little bit, but my puttering is very productive. Yeah.

Yeah, it's running the dishwasher, folding laundry. But do you have that scheduled in or is it like? No, I just know that- I have some free time, let's putter. It's time where I'm doing that type of stuff and not thinking, God, I gotta get down to real work. I'm just puttering around, make yourself some coffee. Tidying.

Yeah, I tidy all the time. I tidy it, say say once or twice a day But I'm not I'm not I don't have it like scheduled in wake up a frantic tidy 30 minute 30 minute putter Tidy I tidy most of my day spent tidying I Don't see how that's possible No, I'll tidy I tidy usually once or twice a day. What do you like to do when you tidy? Just clean everything up. And what does that mean?

Declutter. Declutter. So no spritzing or spraying. Oh, I spritz and spray. With your mouse decongested? I spritz and spray and wash and scrub. 409 Windex, what are we talking? He uses the Minty Mouth mouse wash.

Well, I have that. I have the Minty. Actually, he was correct. You almost fumbled it, and that's actually a beautiful alliteration I do that worked out so perfectly and it was total mistake. Tea mouth mousewash is fucking incredible. I have that I have You know, I got a vacuum I got you have a vacuum of course, is it a Dyson now? So that cheaper version it's when you got a plug into the wall. No. Oh, it a Dyson? No. It's the cheaper version. It's the one you got to plug into the wall?

No. Oh, it's an automatic. It's an automatic. It's electric, but it's definitely... How big is it? It's like a Coleman, I think. It's pretty good. It's really, it works.

It's the one that used to be sold by the guy that fucked your wife door to door. Another vacuum? I don't have a ton of space to vacuum. I just got it at like Home Depot or some shit. The wife came home with a new vacuum recently. It has an infrared green light on the front. Necessary. That lights up all the dust. It's so satisfying. Tricked my ass into vacuuming. It's so satisfying. Good thing you don't have a cat.

Why? Oh, those lights drive those cats wild. Really? Yeah, they get sucked up into vacuums. Use infrared? Mm-hmm. I'm gonna get a cat in the fall, I think. The fuck?

Probably two. Realistically? Adopt, don't shop, bro. Oh, obviously. War cat, though. You need a Lynx. You need a war cat. A war cat?

Yeah. What's a war cat? That's one that's gonna go to work for you. It's the equivalent of getting a Doberman. Yeah, but I don't want like a battle cat. It's gonna solve your mouse problem. I don't have a mouse problem. You said you did.

I have taken care of it with my routinely sprays. You won't have to anymore. These will be bringing the mice to you in supplication. They'll be like another mouse. And also you're just gonna kill those cats because they're gonna eat poisoned mice. Well obviously if I got cats I would remove the poison. The mice carcasses?

You're going to finally take care of that problem? Also the spray is made of essential oils. If that mouse spray is actually as effective as you say it is, I got to believe it is not an all natural chemical product. Because it doesn't kill anything, it just repels them. It's repellent. They don't like the smell, so they stay away. Does it work? Yes.

They're not here. Haven't seen one in two years. They might know, they might be synced up with your schedule. They could be. They do nasty things to mice for research. I would let them live a little bit. Being a city mouse as opposed to being a research lab rat, that would be fucking brutal. If I could kill all the mice on the planet, I would with one and wouldn't even look back. They're important for the ecosystem. Like if it was like a button and it was like dead, all of them.

That's the true sociopath. Like Thanos, snap my finger. No, they're actually super essential. I'm inevitable? No, they're part of the ecosystem that we need. Of what? You don't have the mice, then the cats have nothing to feed on. Exactly. And they start eating the cockroaches directly.

If the cockroaches die, the termites die. If the termites die, the firmament of Africa crumbles into the sea. It sounds like nothing but positives. The firmament of Africa crumbling into the sea is a positive to you? Is there a single redeeming quality for mice or rats? Yeah, there is. Africa crumbles into the sea. The farmament of Africa crumbling into the sea is a positive to you? Is there a single redeeming quality for mice or rats? Yeah, there's something.

They're like some of the smartest animals. What about lab rats, bro? No, they're not. What do you think Fauci was working on? You always say they're smart. We would not know how to treat aides if not for mice. It doesn't matter how smart animals are if they're not even gonna ever be

on a comparable level to humans. Like mice are smart. Why? Because they can smell food. But then it makes it. It's like a ethical thing to kill, basically to destroy, to to to experiment on. And that's progressed us as a human. Like your recourse to this is is whatever the Nazis were doing, experimenting on humans. You're basically like, oh we should only experiment on humans instead of mice that only live for four years. So here's an idea, let's keep six mice. We'll keep six mice on the planet. Okay. And then like they can-

Do all the experiments on those mice? Yeah. What are the snakes gonna eat? dumbass Fucking pellets. I don't know Sure, we can make some that make their like teeth clean themselves or some shit you're gonna get to a species You would say oh, well, we don't need snakes either right? No, no more snakes either Yeah, but that's my point is you say Patrick through that food chain You are going to get to a species that will get rid of a species. We really like and need

Yeah, so I'm just saying mice snakes Gone. Yeah, but then flick of a sweat. We might wouldn't even think if it was right here right gone Means snakes are gone snakes gone means Eagles are gone. And then how do we what's the point of the quarter? And why are Eagles gone? It snakes are gone? Eagles eat snakes. Only? Exclusive. You ever saw the don't tread on me flag? I have.

Well isn't America based on eagles eating snakes? Yes, that's exactly it. Every flag has an eagle with a ten-foot snake. I could do without eagles. We have seagulls. Don't even say that, bro. Those are pretty good. Seagulls suck ass.

Seagulls aren't bad. If there was less birds in the air, we would see more seagulls too. That's bullshit. And I know that you're a birds fan. I know that you fuck with the birds. Yeah, why don't you, you guys could be the Philadelphia Seagulls.

There aren't even seagulls in Philadelphia. There's no body of water there. There's no gulls. Go gulls. Fighting seagulls in Philadelphia. There's no body of water there. There's no gulls. Go gulls. Fighting seagulls. G-U-L-L-S. Gulls. No, they'd spell it G-L-E-S.

At the end of gulls, eagles. Wow, calling them the gulls with just the same logo would be fucking sick. That would be sick merch to them the Gulls with just the same logo would be fucking sick. That would be sick merch to have. Gulls. I'm just saying. I'm not a mouse guy. Have you seen the new shirts that are out as LGBT and it's let's go birds transsexual?

I haven't seen that. But I have seen, did I read this? Was this a joke or is this true? Are they removing the bi community from the LGBTQ? They're kicking them out? I think it could have been a joke. I wouldn't be surprised. But I thought I read something that B was being...

Pick a side. I mean, there's nothing more attention seeking than being bi. Just be what you are. Yeah, there's nothing more attention-seeking than being bi. Yeah, just be what you are. Yeah There's another word for bi horny Terminally horny and willing to do anything Omnivore It's so insane to be bi Because one of them you're faking it one side you're absolutely absolutely full of shit. And you're doing it to be edgy.

Oh absolutely. You're either gay or yeah, 100%. You're either gay or not. If you're like gay and like you're so gay that you're bi, that you're like no I'm so gay I don't give a fuck. I'll go back to where I came from. Yeah, you can't be bi and be in like a long term relationship, a long term like straight relationship. Because everybody's a threat, you lose your buy.

I heard something. There's a statute of limitations. Yes. I heard something so amazing and so damning the other day. Get this. So the divorce rate among heterosexual marriages is. 50. Yeah, that's what they say.

I think it's probably more like 48, so a little below 50, but I think the idea is that it's at 50. Bro always wants to be special. What do you think? What do you think? That was good. I'm in the minority. What can I say? You know, I'm in the bottom 48%. What do you think the divorce rate among gay couples versus lesbian couples is? Isn't like 90 gay and like 15 lesbian? What do you think? I would say 20 gay, five lesbian.

Okay, what I was told, and obviously we're gonna need to fact check this, Owen, if we could, I was told that the divorce rate among gay couples is like 10% and among lesbian couples, 70%. Oh, so I was completely wrong. Both of you had it flipped. Well, I had gays at 20%. So he had both low, I had one high, one low. The point is you had women lower, both of you had it flipped? Oh, I had gays at 20%. So he had both low.

I had one high, one low. The point is you had women lower. Both of you had women lower than men. That's insane. So even they can't stand them. Correct. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Owen.

72% of lesbian marriages end in divorce. What about gay marriages? That's fucking insane. And then I also would wonder how many. A third of that? Okay. So it's way, way less. And then I would wonder what percent of straight marriages are initiated by the woman. And I bet it's the exact same percent as the lesbian divorce rate. That relationships are initiated by...

That the divorces are initiated by the woman. Wait, I'm not... Like, I bet it's also 72% of divorces are initiated by a woman and 72% of... Basically, women are the fucking worst, am I right, boys? I don't know if I... The fucking worst! I don't know if I would agree with that because you got to factor in all the dudes who are like, fucking, I'm getting...

I got to get back in the scene. But I'm saying that's only like 30, whatever percent, 38%. You think? Yeah. And I think it's mostly women. You think that many dudes are like, I gotta get back in the scene. I think there's a good amount,

but I also think there's probably a lot of dudes who are like, this is too much work. They're like, fuck this. I'll just live my life like this forever. I think men are way more like fuck it. Oh really? No one does it? That's interesting. Owen just said that the divorce rate in the Netherlands is basically non-existent. Well you're about to refute my point. Well I had a theory, but I'm sure that it is wildly assumptive and wrong. Talk to me. I mean, I've been super wrong.

My gay friends tell me that in their gay community and their community of friends, the idea of like sexual openness is far more common and received well and normal. So there's a little bit more flexibility on. They're all poly. You talk about wanting to get back in the scene, they are in the scene. True.

In their relationships. They never left the scene. To some degree. And I'm not saying. You know, I think you're right. I'm not saying everybody, obviously that's not the case, but I don't know. 99. I have, I have comic friends, gay comic friends

who are like, they're in serious healthy relationships. And they're, and he, a buddy of mine told me, he was like, my only rule, our only rule is that if one of us is going to hook up with someone else, it has to be in front of the other person. Yeah, yeah. And that the other person gets to choose who the other person hooks up with.

So they'll be at a part and they like that. Very accepting, very open. Well, it's, yeah. And then. I need you to fuck my man. I'm gonna need you to fuck my boyfriend. Now, scat. Can I have a minute of your time? See that guy over there?

I'm straight. At the vending machine. I don't care, this is what we're into. Don't yuck my yum. Don't you care about our future? I got a good offer for you. Your dick, his whole, ah. Ah, I'm okay. I'm all set.

I'm good. Well, anyway, that was my theory. I have no idea what you're saying. No, that's definitely true. And they're probably just like, yeah, so you sucked a little bit of dick. We're not going to dissolve our financial institution over this. I mean, I've talked about it before. I live right near a lesbian bar.

They fight every night every night outside of my apartment there's a blow up like you could in a between two girls every time like screaming at the top of their lungs is it called the cubby hole is that the bar no I don't know I don't know what it's called there's a lesbian bar in the West Village called the Cubby Hole. There's like two, I think in all of New York. Yeah.

So I probably shouldn't say that. The Cubby Hole is also, on Saturday morning, it's also an Arsenal bar. Really? No. I can see it. I wouldn't be surprised at all. You wanna wake up at 5 a.m.

and catch the noon Arsenal game. That would be awesome. There's just like a firm, like the lesbian firms fighting against like the Everton way. They blow in Bob. Imagine being like a bartender at a bar like that and watching the people from the night before like file out and then the soccer fans. I know that the lesbians could dust the American soccer fans easily. American soccer fans are, not all of them, but a lot of them are the worst. Guys who are up at four, these are also 4 a.m. guys.

These are Joe Burrows. Maybe Joe Burrows is watching Man City. He could be, honestly. These are just up at 4 a.m. on a Saturday. There's a group of clipboard people right now outside the Whole Foods on 24th and 7th, where I went in to get my lunch today. And I haven't seen those people in a long time. The people who are standing back to back on the sidewalk,

as you come up, they're like, look at that shirt you're wearing. You know what I'm talking about? They're the people who responded to job ads that are looking for rock stars. Like, we need a rock star. And it's just you on the street being like, hey, can I get a second?

Like, they throw you a football and they're like, do you want to sign up to help the WWF? Yeah, I haven't seen those in a while. When I first started at Barstool, it was everywhere. They were everywhere. I haven't seen them in a long time. And there was a huge gaggle of them, both sides of the street on 7th Ave today.

The rock stars are back. And I walked in and I had to pass a guy and he knew who I was. He goes, Barstool guy. And I was like, dude, if you know who I am, what the fuck happened to you? How are you doing this job? Did you age out of camp counseling?

Were you finally told, like, I think this needs to be your last summer. It's a pretty it's a pretty like Unforgiving job. I know it's just so much rejection. It's just it's the whole day You're just you're giving it everything you have like being a man is getting denied over and over. Yeah Hey, man, can I get a second of your time? Hey man, can I get a second of your time real quick? Shut the fuck up, pussy. Yeah. Well, I was like, I said to him, I was like, I'm sorry, I'm in a rush. And then I went into Whole Foods.

Yeah, yeah. Which by the way, I know Aziz has a bit about this. Like Aziz used to do a bit about this where he was like, and then I went into a Jamba juice. They were like, you have a second for gay rights? And he was like, and then I went into a Jamba juice. Yeah. They watched me come in.

And then when he came out, the guy was like, I thought you said you had something to do. And he's like, well, when I went in there, I saw someone making some homophobic comments and I stabbed him. What have you done? But I went into Whole Foods and then when I came out, he saw me again. He goes, Dave said, it's OK if you talk to me. Oh, God. And I'm carrying a bowl of rice and teriyaki salmon. And I went, I have to get to work

And he goes Dave already said that gave you okay What so what is their goal? They want you to sign up to pay $15 a month or something? It's for I think it's literally for anything is it like like this was I thought this was for trans rights Which kind of pissed me off because I was like dude if you're that big of a fan, then you should know that I fucking hate trans people. I'm staunchly against it. I don't know if you've said it time and time again. How could you possibly think Dave would give me permission to waste a second? I always thought they were just trying to get you to sign up for like,

XFAM or something. I feel like I should qualify that. Oh, obviously. Of course. That's what I think. I don't think it's just a petition. Like AT&T. If it's a petition, I'm like whatever I'll sign up for anything. Save the libraries. I don't care. But it's... Stop reading online. Show up in person. Crack a book. But I think that... Will you join us in turning your computer screen all the

way down to the darkest setting that's what we're doing we're calling it the dark out night and we're all gonna do it it's gonna be on June 48th and it is night way nicer on your body I actually just turn mine now nobody can read I got my shit on I just keep my shit on that orange mode I don't know that mode do you know like the nighttime mode, where it turns your screen kind of like to an orange tint. You have been way more willing to do shit recently, is that why?

Cause you turned off the blue light? Your eyes have been a lot less bloodshot and I thought it was because you kind of finally cut down on the gonge. You know how they say that carrots make your eyesight better? Yeah. That's propaganda by the... Big carrot? No, That's propaganda by the... Big carrot?

No, it was propaganda by the British when they originally developed some technology, maybe radar, but some kind of technology where they were flying during World War II and they could detect other people. And their propaganda was they had just been eating a lot of carrots. That's how they're able to do it,

because it makes your eyesight better. But really, they had crazy technology. Carrots do nothing for your eyesight. I thought- Wonders for your hearing. So Francis, you should try that. Yeah, I should. My next guest, by the way, would have been the Anti-Rabbit League of America. Yeah, which I mean, rabbits are not as cute as they're portrayed. You grow up thinking rabbits are awesome. They're rats with long ears. The more carrots, the more rabbits. I disagree. I like rabbits.

On paper. You could get a rabbit. I'm not getting a rabbit. I've had rabbits. It's not gonna get along with your nuclear cat though. They die super easily. Yeah, they do. Rabbits will get scared and just die. Can I get you a pet?

No, seriously. Can we get you a pet as a gift? No. Why not? Because I'm just gonna get a pet myself. What Can we get you a pet as a gift? No. Why not? Because I'm just going to get a pet myself. What if we get you one and it's our choice? No. A gecko.

Sounds awful. A gecko for you. I'm going to get a tarantula. Be one of those kids. We're never going to his house. Yeah, I got a tarantula in my living room. He runs free. Those are bad parents.

Look who snuck up on me in the middle of the night, just on your head. Oh, were you cold? Look who came to cuddle. Yeah. Bringing a girl over? I said not in the bed, but okay, I'll look for that way tonight. One more time. A tarantula.

What's wrong? You haven't touched your rotting corpse. Yeah. He'll sneak up. He'll just sneak right up on you. He loves that. He loves to play. Nothing like waking up with a tarantula in your armpit in the morning. No, let him make a web under your legs. You know, I was pretty lonely for a while,

but then I got the tarantula and things are looking up. It goes strapped to the ceiling every morning. Adopt though, you have to adopt. Finally redownloadedmatch.com. Please do not, bye bye, do not adopt. Well, there's tarantula mills. Yeah, there's so many good shelters in New York. They're killing the tarantulas.

And even if you have to, like they'll bring up crates of tarantulas from Puerto Rico and Florida and stuff like that. Well, there's such an in vogue accessory these days that people get them, assuming it's not gonna be a lot of work and everyone underestimates the amount of work that goes into keeping a happy tarantula.

Yeah, it's brutal. Some people say it's more engrossing than having children. Did you know that French bulldogs are also a dog that is often given up? There's a huge amount of French bulldogs at shelters. Well, why? Cause they are a lot of maintenance. There's so much maintenance.

So people think that they're like, you know, whatever. It's a dog that is fashionable. Yeah. And so idiots get them cause they're like, I want that handbag of a dog. Yeah. And then idiots get them, because they're like, I want that handbag of a dog. Yeah. And then they underestimate that the dog is basically dying in real time.

Yeah. Unless you constantly, you know, bring it to the vet and give it all that it needs. There's, it's so sad, there's a French bulldog that's, someone in my building, like, slides outside every day. It just moves so slowly, slowly, just such a poor. Yeah, they're just in pain constantly. I feel so bad for it.

I've been, and I was moving with people in New York have like big dogs too. Like you'll see someone with like a Bernice Mountain dog and you're like, why? What would be the reason that you'd need that in New York? Yeah, but that person also has a PJ and flies from Teterboro to Vail every fucking weekend. If that's what they do, then I have no problem.

My richest friend in New York had a fucking massive dog. Yeah. A fucking huge dog. I'm just not a fan of like studio apartment huskies. Or like an Australian shepherd. He thinks he's a small dog. And he's just all in, all over your entire apartment. Tons of people in New York have Australian shepherds because they're smaller.

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Have you ever seen the video of the dog that herds at like a Texas state fair or something and separates the black and white sheep? Oh yes, black sheep from the white sheep. It's so impressive. I did see that. It's actually a descendant, a long time descendant of one of the great German shepherds from the segregation era. Really? Of America. Wow.

Yeah. I was famous for ensuring that colored folk used the right water fountains. No, that's how they trained them, at water fountains and bathrooms. They trained the shepherds. So you can see why separating white from black would... It's deplorable, really. It's inherent to that. Why don't you display that with this Oreo? Show me exactly what you mean with this Tupac Shakur Oreos.

Wow, look at that. Did you notice that I went into the snack closet the other day and I opened up the big box of the Oreos? And there's three different types. There's double stuff. There's the white cream ones, which are unbelievable. Oh really? I think those are an abomination.

You don't like those? And then there's these basic ones. And we only had the basics left, which basically means we are as an office Fat no, I don't know because no one wants the like No one wants everyone wants the double stuff It's like once they made the double. Why'd you wish for that once they made the double once they made the double stuff They should have just come here making the regular ones. No one's like, I want to, let me get one that tastes worse.

Do you have the less good version of these? You used to make something way worse. Do you still carry that? Yeah. Yeah, but nobody wants triple stuff. No. They definitely make triple stuff. They do, but nobody wants them.

It's too much stuff. Yeah. It's like those milk bar cakes. They're so fucking sweet It's always been I would have changed double stuff to just the traditional just lose double stuff. That's now the Oreo It's like the third porn star in an all-internal gangbang You're like really I gotta get in there After the two guys before me already finished

after the two guys before me already finished. Yeah, that is nuts. But people's, there's no bounds to how much people want a snack, how much people want sodis. I like bringing up pornographic references because I know it makes sass a little squeamish. Yeah. Not at all. You're not big on dirty intercourse references.

The repression, that crazy repression that you have going on sexually, you have a crazy sexual repression and you'll let it out. Just keep going to BetterHelp. If you came in as a great sexual repression. A friend of mine said that he went on a first date with a girl to a sex party. Like a public sex party. Like an orgy? But I don't know, I guess it's an orgy.

Like a party in Brooklyn. He brought her to like a Bonnie and Clyde meetup. Just the line of a thousand dudes and one of them has his girl with him. What are we waiting in line for? Why is everyone with masks? This place is fucking slam. It's really good.

This place is like the best in town Waiting for three fucking hours. Anything worth a line. You have one of those buzzers that you get at like Applebee's. You take a ticket Oh, we're up. The buzzers for the Bonnie Blue It's our turn. Oh, hurry, hurry, hurry. 413? Is that, is that? And then you walk in and it's Bonnie blue in a glass box. A very smudged, very foggy glass box. Slip as you walk in.

We got like 45 minutes. You guys didn't call 452. You're at 600. I don't know if there was, you guys missed me. Oh, what was it again that you wanted? So pussy? Sorry, sir. You can hop right in after this guy. We'll get on that.

Oh man. I think they said they went to like a private room and then like eventually people just like matriculated and just people just came into the room literally, I guess. Fucking gross. They also have the Annie's pretzels in there, the Annie's snacks. I think that the cheddar ones of the Annie's are so much better than the cake ones. I think it's time to drop Annie's as a snack. You think the Annie's is dead?

Their mac and cheese is good. They're never going to be goldfish. I thought you said you like. Their mac and cheese is good. They're never gonna be goldfish. I thought you said you like Their mac and cheese is crack. Yeah When the powder gets stuck in one of the shells and you get that one bite of deep tang Yeah, so nice that tang it's like one Dorito. Mm-hmm. I thought you like bunnies though Yeah, ten seconds ago. You're sucking off bunnies, now you wanna kill Annie. Think everyone knows I like fish a little bit more. Bunnies ears don't really like stick up like that either.

This is like the cartoon bunny that everybody talk. Huh? Mid hop? I don't even, bunnies hops aren't even that impressive. It sounds like you've never seen a bunny. I've seen bunnies all the time, dude. I've always seen a bunny. You ever see a snake eating a rabbit? That's nice. No, like I said never seen a bunny. I see bunnies all the time, dude. I've always seen a bunny. You ever see a snake eating a rabbit?

That's nice. No, like I said, I hate snakes. Fucking Indiana Jones over here. Like snakes and spiders and mice, like it's on site. Indoor Hannah Jones over here. Cockroaches, like cockroaches are like annoying, but like they don't gross me out. Like in Massachusetts Jones over here.

Cockroaches don't? Not to the extent that mice do. Mice, it's like, cockroaches, it's like, it's like the equivalent of like finding a Lego on the ground. A mouse is like, this is a living thing. Well, if mice were more chill about it, if mice weren't like sprinting.

Dude, they move like 900 miles per hour. Yeah, that's what gives me anxiety. It's just, they're like, whoa, the fuck was that? If mice weren't like sprinting. They move like 900 miles per hour. Yeah, that's what gives me anxiety. It's just they're like, whoa, the fuck was that? If they just like kind of meandered around you and like leave and they're like, kind of like dragged their shit out. Yeah, just tossed it outside.

Yeah, that'd be fine. How much of our disgust over, see for me mice don't disgust me. And you know why? Cause you don't have them. No, cause the name, mouse, cute little mouse, Mickey Mouse. Cockroach. Cockroach is as fucking palpable of a,

it induces bile. Yeah, it hurts to say. Cockroach. It might be because I've never had more than one roach at a time. You go, you have so many cockroaches that you've now, you just go roach for sure. It's like saying goals.

Just roach to you. I mean, I think roaches is pretty common. Cockroach! Yeah, suck my cockroach. I can't remember the last time I called them roaches. I always thought a roach was the very end of a joint that you kind of smoked with tweezers before you had money. Did you guys ever watch the video? That's funny. The Dave video at the porn convention when the

ladies like talked already to me and he's like, suck my cock. I haven't seen that. I've seen the videos of Dave at the porn conventions. It's so't seen that one. It's so funny. Suck my cock! Like Devlin's gay joker. I like the cock! Yeah, that's so funny. Have you ever seen that? No. We did, when we were on the Yak, we did the Barstool Idol, and this dude, Zach, who's a comedian in Nashville.

Zach Townsend, yeah. He's actually opening for Theo now. He's opening for me in Nashville. He did my Zany show. He hosted the Zany show. He was on it and he did a character called Horny Batman and he went around interviewing people and he went up to Devlin and he was like, what makes you horny? And he was like, I like the cock. He's like, actually I like the cock. It was so funny. The goker, the gay joker. Did he do a joker impression?

I guess Devlin has a gay joker impression. He'll dress up head to toe and be the gay joker. He'll like run around New York City without cameras. Just being the gay joker. His love of the around New York City without cameras. Just being the gay joker. His love of the game. Yeah, that's so funny. Oh man. But that dude, he is like a funny comic and then he came to Barso Idol and only would

do Horny Batman. Like he has so many other bits. He's like other successful comedy online, but would only do Horny Batman, which is actually a way funnier bit. I know, it is funny. In totality. I mean, dude, honestly, if I had to guess, and I could be dead wrong about this, the future at Barstool for stand-up comedians is closed.

I don't think we will ever hire, or I don't know if hiring a stand up here will ever work again. I don't know about that. I don't know who we would hire in New York. New York, I don't think they're hiring anybody. I mean, I'm sure Chicago's got some good stand ups. Yeah. I just think that, I don't know, it's a good thing. I think that's a good thing. I think that's a good thing. I think that's a good thing. I think that's a good thing.

I think that's a good thing. I think that's a good thing. I think that's a good thing. I think that's a good thing. I think that's a good thing. I think that's a good thing. I think that's a good thing. I think that's a good thing.

I think that's a good thing. I think that's a good thing. I think that's a good thing. I think that's a good thing. I think that's a good thing. I think that's a good thing. I think that's a good thing. I think that's a good thing.

I think that's a good thing. I think that's a good thing. I think that's a good thing. I think that's a good thing. I think that's a good thing. I think that's a good thing. I think that's a good thing. I have a built-in fan base and I can write some. Right. Yeah. Agreed. Totally. Well, then let's talk no more on that subject. Let's move on.

Boy, that guy, why did that get uncomfortable? I don't think it did. I don't think it did either. Well, I wasn't uncomfortable. Well, usually when people are like, let's move on. Oh, no, I was just... It's indicative that I've stepped in it. No, no, I don't think you have.

I think that that's a... I'm curious to know more about why you think that, honestly. You fucked up. Too late. You guys said move on. I shall heed. We're already moving on. And we're already on.

No, no, I can't leave it. Why would a stand up have a good spot at Barstool? Because it's the same discipline. It's because they're afraid to step in the lion's den. That's a fact. They just want to run to the stage, be the center of their own world. They really can't take the heat. A lot of people can't take the heat.

The comments. There's no comment section in stand up comedy. I'll tell you that much. Unless you have your own podcast, in which case there will be a nasty subreddit about you. All comed nasty subreddit about you All comedians subreddits fucking kill them If you get successful enough, I mean all subreddits in general hate the thing they purport to love. Yeah, might say more about reddit I'm gonna sub I forgot, you know living upstate. I don't I don't really Well, yeah, I mean I don't run into people who know who I am up there.

It's all, I mean, I guess you could say we all know each other. Everyone's equal. Because it's a pretty small community, but I'm certainly not. And you were saying the most delightful banjo player came to the co-ops the other day. Yeah, the Farmer's Market, we had Fergie Ferguson

and the Bluegrass Six. That video, that shot in the video was the funniest of you sitting cross-legged while that guy played the guitar. We had Fergie Ferguson and the Bluegrass Six. That shot in the video was the funniest of you sitting cross-legged while that guy played the guitar. I was really hoping there would be some kids doing it, but I had to set the tone and nobody joined me. Did the guy think you were making fun of him? I gave him 10 bucks.

First or second? After. Sorry about that. That vid's doing well. It's a great vid. That's picked up some steam. That's closing in on a million views. It'll change the world. I mean it's just good clean fun. This is a silly little thing. Did you guys watch the clip that Adam Schefter posted about,

what golfer was it? Scottie Scheffler who's like you get to the top and it's like, and you feel nothing. You're like happy for a couple of minutes when you win the major. That was today, right? Yeah. I didn't watch it. Everyone was like, you should watch this. And I didn't, but now I'm going to because you recommended it. It's just pretty interesting.

Actually, it's kind of sad. I think he might be depressed. Honestly, he's like, you get to the top and you just don't feel something and the career isn't fulfilling because you worked your whole life for this and you're like, okay, what's for dinner now? I just won the championship. He's actually definitely depressed. He's definitely depressed.

You should definitely get some- He's had like the best years of his entire career. He's so successful. Has he? Yeah, probably two years, I would say. He's maybe even three. I mean, he won the Masters three years ago and then he won it again. A year ago. So he won, then he didn't win and then he won it again.

He won the PGA this year. Yeah. And he's been number one in the world for a few years now. Mount Top's lonely. That's why that Miley Cyrus had it on point, bro. It's the climb. Scotty Winst for there were no more courses to conquer. He really did.

That is sad for him. I mean, it probably does. If you love golf your entire life and now it's like you go back to your home course and you shoot 15 under I could see him being like I've made the decision to play baseball. It's what my dad always wanted me to do That probably is why Michael Jordan did that. That's exactly why he did that. He's like yeah, it sucks It's i'm so good at this that it just fucking sucks

Now I have a maybe if I went learning basketball than playing if I went fishing and I caught a fish every single cast, I would probably be like, all right, I think I get it. It's like hunting for a buffalo on the Oregon Trail. It's why I have a hard time continuing to do ron.com challenges against SASS. Get to a point where you're like, I'm just beating up the kid in the wheelchair here. I thought that's why you were gonna say about standups.

Just like you fucking have mastered the craft. I am a little, well, you know what? I'm not gonna say that. Please come see it, please come see it, Francis. Yeah, lots of fun dates this fall. The fall of Francis is a great tour name. The fall of Francis. I made that poster based off of the poster for the Diddy doc, the fall of Diddy.

Did you use ChatGBT? No, I used graphic designers because I like to give them the business. And I feel bad that they're into all of their jobs are fucked. Big time? There's still some really good graphic designers out there though. Yeah, there are, but like that, I mean, that's almost literally the thing that I think will be replaced the quickest. Graphic design. Kinda. It's like you tell, ChatGBT is an unbelievable graphic designer. Make me a logo about my business for beef jerky

that incorporates a longhorn cow in the logo. Yeah. It's on it. True. You're like, oh, make it less this, make it less that. You know who can't get replaced though is fucking interior designers, those fucking queens. They literally can't get replaced.

You know Sarah Sherman Samuel? The goat interior designer. She's so fucking queens. They literally can't get replaced. You know Sarah Sherman Samuel? The GOAT interior designer. She's so fucking good. Is she now? Dude, look up her shit. I commented on one of her Instagram posts and she responded. I was so fucking gassed.

That's cool. Yeah, that's big. I got a little bit into design. Interior? Yeah, from my place upstate, my home. Mid-century modern, what are we talking? I like to mix worlds a little bit, but I'm staying with neutral palettes,

mostly browns and creams and tans. Of course. But lighting is the thing I got obsessed with. Browns, creams, tans, whites. What kind of, like a low lighting, upward? No, just the light fixtures, like pendants versus chandeliers, sconces. You got bright ass lights, I versus chandeliers. You got bright ass lights.

I know it. Huh? I bet you got bright ass lights. When Bo and Peters and all those guys come and stay at my place, when you guys come, the first thing you're going to comment on is how great the lighting is. I feel like it's one of those places where you got to piss in the middle of the night,

and you turn on the lights. It's like a flash grenade went off. No, it's the opposite. Blinding. If anything, you'd be like, it's really dark You look at Sarah Sherman Samuel style, bro Tell me you don't fucking love it isn't Sarah Sherman the girl on SNL Sarah squirm Sarah squirm I think what is her name Sherman? I'm talking about Sarah Sherman Samuel. Yeah, I love this stuff is I mean she is

Truly flawless and she I'd love to see chat GPT give her a run for the money. Yeah Yeah, I love this stuff. I mean, she is truly flawless. And I'd love to see ChatGPT give her a run for the money. Damn. Sauce Gardener just signed a $120 million contract. The day after Garrett Wilson did? $130 for Garrett Wilson. They just gave out $250? Woody Johnson's fucking dropping bags.

That's fucked. What other podcast are you getting Sarah Sherman's handle right into Woody Johnson? I know. That's fucked. What other podcasts are you getting Sarah Sherman Samuel right into Woody Johnson? I know. That's so nice. All that still suck. To have Justin Fields.

Instead of giving 250 to a quarterback, they gave it to a wide out in the corner. I know. They're just hoping that Justin Fields' fast ass is gonna fucking. I think he'll be better than Aaron Rodgers was for sure. The threat to run is key. He also has never sucked that bad.

He just hasn't been that good. Yeah. He wasn't bad on the Steelers though at all. It was just Russell Wilson was ready to play. And they've been investing in their own line too. Yeah. So what are we saying? Low lighting, like upward?

Or like funky lamps? Or what are we? Skonces? It's my turn again. Francis, are you going to do the fantasy league this year? Are you skipping out? I'll do it. Well, you got to actually do it. I'm in. You should have somebody else to do it with you.

If you don't do it, you're off the podcast. Not if you don't, not if you just don't do it, but if you do it and you bail again. OK, so I am not going to do it. Then I'm not going to do it. Why don't you just just set your lineup? It's so I have no problem setting my lineup. I don't understand the trade stuff. There's barely any trades that take place.

Every single person in our league by the end of the season had a completely different roster from what they started with. That's free agency. Whatever the fuck it's called. I think there was like three trades all season. All my guys got injured and nobody told me how to cycle them out, so I just ended up playing with like a two man team.

You trying to get him to participate in fantasy football is like him trying to get you to clean your apartment. My apartment's clean. The definition of insanity to keep on trying. It's so crazy that you're like, Francis, please do this thing you don't like to do. Yeah, exactly. He doesn't want to do it.

He's missing out. You're missing out. You're going to miss out. He doesn't want to do it. He has his own likes and interests. I believe that I want to do it. I just need more help, and nobody wants to help, because it's competitive, which is understandable. Because no one else.

I never used the platform. I figured it out. I never used it. It's not that I've never used the platform. You're a ball junkie. I never used the platform. I set up the whole league. I've never done fantasy football.

I've done it. I had done it like twice up until this year. Two more times than I had done it. Well, according to your Halo argument, that didn't mean anything. Wow. I don't apply that more clearly. Apply it more clearly, because I want

to see if what you just said makes sense, and I don't think it does. I'm not. I refuse. Actually break that down. I refuse. Because it's wrong. I refuse to break it down.

There's no chance that that works the way you thought it did. It sounded, cadence-wise, it sounded like a mic drop. It rolled off the tongue well. Yeah, it did. But sounded, cadence-wise, it sounded like a mic drop. It came off, rolled off the tongue well. Yeah, it did. But I didn't look into it at all. I didn't really think about what was actually said. It was truly lost on me. Just wish ball was on, that's all.

It is the opposite of what you said, because I do think I've played more Halo than you have. And my argument would have been that for you, you having done more fantasy football, it's not even worth getting into. Yeah, that's why I said I don't. Well, because I caught you. I caught your foot in the rabbit's trap there. Saw it off and put it on a key chain.

That was a weird thing that you could win at a fair, a rabbit's foot. Cause I didn't even know what they were. Cause I got, I won like a blue one or something. It was on a key chain. And then you like look closer and there's nails. It's like, Oh, this is the foot of a rabbit. I thought it was like, native American name or something.

Yeah. There's a fair near my home, my permanent home upstate. And it's a county fair. So it's only there for a few days, but they got the tilt of the world and the fair wheel. And it's, it's, it it's only there for a few days. But they got the Tilt-a-Whirl and the Ferris Wheel. And it's got all the bells and whistles. And I saw it. And I thought, man, that'd be fun.

That'd be a fun thing to go to on a random Friday night, you know? And then I thought, no, it wouldn't. Because I remember the games and how enraged I would become when I never won. Yeah, they're impossible. You know, there was one that had a bowling ball that went over this track and there was a little bump in the track and then a dip and then another dip thing. And the goal was you had to roll the ball perfectly such that it went over the bump and then nestled down

into the trough below it and didn't roll back up and come back to you over the bump. And I must have spent $10 as a seventh grader, which is equivalent to, I don't know, a hundred grand today for me. Just playing this game and I remember the guy who ran the booth was like, ah, almost, better luck next time, sonny. Yeah, cuz he's high on Vicodin. I fucking hated this guy. I went, it's rigged! And he goes, it's not. And then he came out of the booth and showed me that it wasn't red Which made me even more angry. He's a dirty carny. Yeah. Well, he's also it's like well, dude That's the thing you're good at rolling the bowling ball with the perfect weight If you were really good at this thing, you're a bowler at it. Yeah, sounds like he fucking flamed you

Well, I I kind of out and pulled off the uniform and he was like, he's like sure it's done It's like when you try to fight a cop, take off that badge and fight me. And he takes off the badge and beats your ass. But I kind of had to refute that. I went to a fair a couple of weeks ago with mother-in-law, sister and brother-in-law, like their kid and my kids. And I was and I just realized, like, I can be in charge of who has fun. And I just started fucking throwing money around

and we played every game in the fair. I was making everybody play. We won tons of prizes. Just throwing a bunch of money at it. It was fucking incredible. But these were very easy to win. And that's how it should be. There should be loose games at these fairs.

As opposed to like a tight ass game that nobody can throw the ping pong ball into the milk jug. That's bullshit. A basketball hoop that's 13 feet high with a rim that's the size of a fucking pint glass. Yeah, it's like an oblong pint glass rim. It's bent in on the side. Yeah.

You've got to just, you have to basically swish the middle of the hoop every single time. I knew that it wasn't rigged when I was making the basketball shots. I was like, oh yeah, this isn't rigged. And we all went home with fucking stuffed animals, mini basketballs, Toad's a fridge. Speaking of rigged.

Upside down goldfish. Speaking of rigged, did you guys see that $25,000 match between rigs and the guy? Oh, I don't know. The last one I watched was rigiggs against the one hater. Yeah, that's the last I saw. Oh man, he played this guy for $25,000. Recently? Like this week?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It came out more recently than that hater match. Okay. And it came down to the final putt. Really? I won't say what happened, but it's a pretty damn good video. I'll say that much. So Riggs wins. 25, they each took out $25,000 cash, and the winner walked home with it.

That's crazy. They're nuts. Doesn't make you wish you'd. There's a tax write-off, though. Yeah. Huh? Tax write-off. I guess.

Content. Content. Yeah, Riggs is probably just like content. Absolutely. I have to do this as content. I got to tell you, I'm not really looking for a $25,000 tax write-off right now. I'll pay the tax instead of a $25,000 tax right off right now. I'll pay the tax instead of losing 25 grand.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not happy if I'm like, well, I can write that off. That's my earnings. That is my earnings. But Riggs probably just drops another hat. True. He's just like, oh fuck, I gotta put out some more malar. I just have to count my residuals off the malar.

My take off the Titleist clubs that have my name embossed on the side. TaylorMade. Shout out, TaylorMade. Shout out to TaylorMade, of course. We got to make Boy Dad hats. Huh? We got to make Boy Dad hats. I know.

Just so we can gamble with them. Yeah. Just so we can gamble with high stakes. That's our way out That's our way out of the gutter boy that hats boy that hats International shipping to of course multiple languages That's crazy What money printing that's so good passive income

Como se dice boy dad en espanol, bro. Garçon pair. That's French? Yep. Yeah. I mean, if Alex Cooper had like said the words boy dad, it would be a fucking massive thing. Yeah, I mean, she's probably gonna put out boy dad hats

before we do. Will Compton definitely is. I think we kept their girl dad hats. They can't be happy about that. Barsal did? Yeah. They definitely just made their own girl dad. Girl pop. Girl papa. Gal dad. Find it on a link tree. I miss those brothers. Miss those boys. Miss those bastards. That's why I just watch Battle Camp on Netflix every day just so I could get some eyes on Taylor.

Oh, yeah. Who removed his hand tattoos. Did you see that? I did see that. Makeup was not. I thought he got a real life removed so he could be a clean comic like me, you, and Francis. Not a bad play.

All right. All right. Well, we'll see you guys on Thursday. Thank you for listening. Hope you guys enjoyed the episode. Goodbye. Close was over, still, still underground So I looked older, till you came around I was only falling one way I was only falling one way

Days were drifting, full of anxiety So, so then you listen, now I come alive I was only falling one way I was only falling one way I was only falling one way I was only falling one way Fetish drew your eye Did you realize No one can take me alive

I was only falling one way See it just a distant light Feel fast forever bright Call it just a memory Take my hand and you can see I'm The ground falls Oh, oh, oh Vanished to your eyes Did you realize No one could take me alive