Son of a Boy Dad - Hot Rod | Son of a Boy Dad #270

Episode Date: January 28, 2025

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Hey, son of a boy, dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. All right, just left Frankie. That's our balloon. There's a lot of pre talking show, but we can't talk about it. I know. So let's just stop talking about it. Okay. All right. Ready? Getting in the group Alrighty welcome back to the son of a boy dad podcast today. It is January 27th. It's 2 30 p.m We're here live from HQ 3 big Frank's back big Frank is back. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's me. Welcome back Welcome back brother. We miss you like fucking gangbusters. That's alright right, you guys hold it down. I miss you like gangbusters. It's funny to be called Frank

because I've started doing this weird thing where when I order a salad for lunch, they ask for my name. Yeah. And I say Frank. Yeah. Because for some reason, I feel that they'll judge me less. Yeah.

If I call myself Frank as opposed to Francis. It's harder. Maybe they'll give me more, a more generous helping of chicken. Probably. Frank needs more chicken than Francis. Francis needs leafy greens. Yes.

Yes. Francis needs bib lettuce. And it'd be one thing if, you know, I do it at bagel places too. But if that were the only place where I did it, right, where I'm eating more blue collary food or something like that, I name myself Frank so that the bagel makers or whatever the guy making my omelet doesn't...

You know, at a diner, doesn't want to judge me for being named Francis, but I do it at salad places where they're not going to be mad at me for being named Francis. They might. No, they might. Well, you see the salad... The people who work at salad places in this neighborhood are hardened.

They are. True. You've never been to a salad place. They keep their hair nets on throughout the day even when they leave work Yeah, if you went to a pizza place Frankie Yep. Yeah, I would Italianify it. I don't know what the proper Circumstance for you to throw a friend out would be though. Oh, that would be at a gender neutral hair salon, maybe? Fran. Fran, yeah, Fran's pretty androgynous. Maybe I'd like to Orvis. Orvis?

Yeah. Really? Yeah, I think they would like that. Well, speaking of. Hey, I'm Fran, just looking to check out a new, just looking to pick up a new rod and your recommendations. And then they would sell you the most expensive rod they have. Okay, well, I'm not in need of any of that,

and I have a big surprise for today. Big surprise. What? You ready for this? Okay. This is a little earlier in the episode than I wanted to do this. What the fuck? But... Guys, hop over to the YouTube right now. Okay, this is a little earlier in the episode than I wanted to do this. What the fuck?

But. Guys hop over to the YouTube right now, you have to see this. Something big is happening here. He's literally unpackaging four feet of tube right now. It's a big tube. Okay. It's a lot of tube.

That might be a bazooka. Something big is happening. If he gives us a bazooka. I've wanted to do this for a long, long time. What the hell? OK, bubble wrap is out. Oh, baby. Is that a katana?

Come to papa. OK, so. Putting the cast in podcast. More like a rod cast. All right, I'm just gonna gently take the pieces out here. You guys know what's happening. Oh my God. Explain what I'm seeing there.

All right. Well, it's a fly rod of some sort. I don't know what kind it is though. This is a nine foot, five weight fly rod. Perfect for nymphs, trout, flies, anything really, it's pretty universal. The cork is sourced from Portugal, hand rolled. Portuguese hand rolled cork. And it comes from a master artisan fly rod maker

named Patrone Rods. Interesting. P-E-T-R-O-N-E, it's got rone right in the name. That's amazing. Rods. Let me make sure I'm getting all of this right, okay? Patrone Rods. Patrone Rods, hold on, hold on.

I wanna make sure I have this right. Can I touch the cork or would you rather I have steam? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you can touch it, you can touch it. Let me get my paws on that. It's a nine foot five weight fly rod, perfect for trout fishing or any freshwater fishing. Nymph, dry fly, streamers, it'll do it all. The grip is made with hand turned

floor grade cork from Portugal. The reel seat is inlaid with Bacote wood. Guides are all titanium. The decorative patterns you see are all hand-laid threads. And the company's Patrone rods based out of Monmouth County, New Jersey. Patrone rods on Instagram. Many, many river bass will be caught with this rod.

Congratulations, brother. This is a big step forward for me and my new found hobby of fly fishing. This is a big step forward for me and my new found hobby of fly fishing. This is a really nice rod. I am very excited about the rivers and streams and lakes and all the bodies of water that I will spend time in. Say I expect a Patronum one time. Oh no, I'm good.

Yeah. So this is a big step forward for me. I mean, I've been getting into fly fishing. I thought you were about to pull out a bamboo rod and I was going to be furious. No, no. This is a this is perfect. This is awesome. So, yeah, so that's the MSRP on this rod. I don't actually know the answer to that.

I mean, he gave it to me, which I was really grateful for. I don't see the the reel. that. I mean, he gave it to me, which I was really grateful for. I don't see the real, hold on. Is there a real? I don't think he gave you a real, brother. No real. No real. Unreal. There should be a real, right?

No. Oh, it's just pure hand line. No, no. I just meant that most rods don't come with a reel. Oh, no, right. Yeah. Yeah, so that'll come next. I got extras.

I kind of like to go my own way. You should. You should get a nice reel. Look at your instincts. Trust your instincts on this. Look how nice this looks. I could hook you up with a good reel. I'm just gonna do a little research probably and kind of.

You know what would look good on this is that the Coors banquet real Mm-hmm beautiful gold. That's not what Francis Smelled of course banquet course banquets like the best beer ever. I'm not trying to go corporate He's gonna go artisan. I think that real is like $2,000 He's gonna be going to like to the flats of Patagonia to find the perfect little cobble of stone. Well, I already talked to Bo and Peters. Just obsessed with this cork.

And I have a line out to Nate, although he hasn't responded because I don't think he's real. Love this wood too. But we are talking about potentially hitting up Canyon Ranch or yeah, some spot in maybe like Idaho, middle fork of the Salmon River. Ooh, that sounds nice. The middle fork of the Salmon River? We're talking about that this summer.

We've been thinking about going to Idaho too, going for the salmon fly hatch. Yeah, that's what we were talking about. Loving this. I don't even know what this is. Okay, let's not add too many finger oils to the finish, please. Beautiful rod. Yeah, so- Should we put it together?

Let's put it together, yeah. I would have brought my reel and we could have done some casting in the hallway. Oh, wow. That would be so nice. Well, all the corporate people are selling this beautiful show to our beautiful sponsors. We're just whipping casts.

This should be one of our sponsors. Patron rods, everybody. Check them out. Pretty awesome. It's so lightweight, but the heft to the... There's just enough counterbalance on the cork. Don't be afraid to really jam her in there. Well, I'm not trying to go for anything too extreme right now.

Definitely want to protect the integrity of the rod. I'm going back of hand so as not to have too many finger oils. You know, they do say that assembling a fly rod inside can sometimes lead to a bad hatch. And that's because it's a bit like opening an umbrella indoors. There's a little, some people are superstitious about that, but again, nine foot fly rod, five weight. Um, just, you know, going to do a little research about sort of, uh, what sort of leader and watch that tip, brother.

Watch that tip. I am. Those things will snap. I'm giving it a wide berth. Come on, bro. So Sass, let's be honest now. You got to respect craftsmanship. Now that he has this.

Now that I have a better fly rod than any of your rods, how does that make you feel? This is handcrafted in Portugal. Yeah, you probably, you definitely do. Do you want to include him? Let me get my paws on this. I have a better fly rod than Sass. He goes every weekend. He rents a car. Yeah, it's definitely a nicer rod than sass. He goes every weekend, he rents a car.

Yeah, it's definitely a nicer rod than I have. I mean, this cork is great. I don't know what this material is here, but it's... Is it fiberglass? I don't know, but you can tell you're going to get a lot of flex with this. A lot of flex. I asked for extra flex. One thing that I will say... Say Stupefy. And can't dispel for us one time, bro. Real Seed is inlaid with Bacote Wood. Guides are all titanium.

Titanium. There are a lot of guides. Yeah. Well, I asked for extra guides. Well, there is like a... Like my rod definitely doesn't have that many guides. It's a ton of guides. They say the more guides, the more experienced you are. That's 10 guides right there. I wanted a rod. Did you count? Yeah.

I wanted a guide that I wanted a rod that I could sort of work my way into because I know I'm going to progress quickly. So I didn't want to have to get a new rod as soon as I'd outgrown, you know, like a beginner rod like you have. Did you set this up right? This is very interesting. Are you more? The guide holes are quite small.

It's going to make it tough to fish in the winter. Yeah, I mean, look, I have a lot going on in the winter. This is clearly a summer rod. That's fine. That's fine. I ski in the winter. Great beginner rod for the summer. No, this is not a beginner rod.

Great starter kit. This is an expert rod. Does this make you more or less likely to fish with Francis? Doesn't really change the odds at all. I have four fly rods and I've told Francis that multiple times. Actually I have three. One of them broke. Do you want to be around him with his fly rod or do you want to exclude him because he has better gear than you as a gear guy? Well, no, I mean, I definitely have better gear than Francis overall, but his rod is nice.

Dude, if you want to get into a gear off, I'm not sure you want that, my brother. I'm not sure that you want that. I can out gear you any day of the week. My reel alone now gears all of your gear. Oh, okay. Yeah. Well, okay. Yeah. Well, we'll see.

We'll see who has the more expensive. You're gonna go to a store to try to buy a nice reel as like a bit, and then you're gonna realize how expensive they are, and then you're gonna be like, this is not worth it. You are not aware of how willing I am to spend money. So unnecessary. Like a nice reel is gonna be like $1,000.

I bought a $6,000 coat because I was sad. You like that. You don't go fishing. I like beating you by having a more expensive reel. I'm definitely gonna borrow the rod a couple times for sure. That's what you think. Nothing's coming out to the gorge with me this weekend. The only time I'm lending you this rod is when we are switching rods midstream together

to try different weights and feels. That's what I have. I have a 9'5 weight. I have two, actually. That's the sweet spot. It is. That's the same weight and length that I bought my dad for Christmas. It's the best chance of catching browns. No, it doesn't change your chance

of catching any fish at all. They say browns are more likely to go for the 9-footers. No, they're not. They're actually, it does not matter at all. Dude, I tried to catch some browns with an eight footer six weight and nothing happened. An eight foot six weight would be the most bizarre rod of all time. There you go.

Browns are very discerning. I have an eight foot three weight. Great for small creeks. Yeah, I mean, how am I going? Where you got a lot of overhang. I'm not going for small creeks. I'm I mean, I'm working on it. Where you got a lot of overhang. I'm not going for small creeks. I'm more of an open water kind of guy.

Small creeks catch big fish. With too much overhang, just sounds like a headache. Yeah. What is the most important piece of equipment? They say the handle cork grip. For fly fishing, like if you're going for a gear off, what is your centerpiece of gear? Your rod, for sure.

So, and he is the best rod. Rod makes the man. Yeah, probably, yeah. So, he's the best rod. He has the best, most important thing. Yeah, I mean, I would say rod is very important. Fly line, the actual line that you use is very important. No problem. You'll have a better line.

I'm not worried about it. I was never worried about the line. You don't even know what the line is. Of course I know what the line is. No, you don't. You think the line is the clear stuff at the end. No, no. It's the stuff that leads up to the clear stuff. It's the pre-line. Exactly, because I just told you.

No, you didn't. You hinted and I carried it the rest of the way because I already knew. I could see you just going on Diamond Medallion status. Oh, yeah. Throw it in the captain's closet. Throwing it, yeah. The coat closet. Would you mind hanging that up, please, by the strap? The pilot closet. What do they call it?

Coat closet? I thought they called it the captain's closet. I'm not sure. I don't think it has that mystical and magical of a name. No. You'll get a lot of people asking you questions if you board a flight with that. What you targeting? What species are you going for?

Browns. Browns, mostly. I think that- Hopefully some cuddys if we're lucky. Yeah, I think that I'd give myself one full season before I am a more accomplished fisherman than Sass. I would love you to get into it. It'd be fun.

Because then also you already have a car so then we could go fishing and I wouldn't have to spend $300 every time I go. Who would have picked you up? That would be great for me. It would be fun to spend time with you when you're happy. You wouldn't see me at all. The second we park, I'm gone.

Okay. Just sprinting off. Or I'm just your chauffeur. Pretty much, yeah. Okay, well, remind me not to go fishing with you. Beautiful rod, though. Very impressive. You'd self-drive it out there? Yes, indeed.

That would be so nice. So I can, you know, set up my rod on the way. People are saying nasty stuff about your buddy. Who? Elon. Oh yeah, not great. Not a great look. You're gonna write his book too?

I've gone pretty quiet on Elon ever since the old... The old Hal Hitler? Yeah, not great. Not a good one. You tried to return your biography. These are clearly red. These words are red. Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind it. Yeah, what did you, uh,

I think that that was the main void last week. That we didn't get a chance for you to talk about that. Yeah, uh, I don't know what to say about that. I mean, somehow it's like, that we didn't get a chance for you to talk about that. Yeah, I don't know what to say about that. I mean, somehow it's like, somehow it's just your politics. If you are on the right, I guess, and you're sort of on his side and part of the camp

that he's gonna clean up government, then you're gonna say that this is a, him trying to extend his heart to a bunch of people. Yeah. I don't understand what the confusion was. He said, I'm giving my heart. My heart goes out to you.

I was trying to think, if I were to make the gesture of wanting to give my heart to people, I think it would be more like this. Like a scoop. I think mine would be like, I think honestly, like if his would be more like this, like a scoop. I think mine would be like, I think honestly, like if his hand was out like that, Yeah, open palm. Even if it was sharp, even if it was still like the,

cause he went like, like if he just did that. No, he did palm down. I know, but I'm saying if you do, if you still do the hit here and then you go like that, That's kind of like, That's like my heart is out to you. That's like give a round of applause to the orchestra.

Yeah. Yes, yes. I think there's, yeah, there's, I'm giving you credit. Here, spread the seeds of my soul and being. If it's this, he should've done like, my heart. Yeah, yeah, a little roll the dice. No, no, a little coming, coming from the heart.

Yeah, yeah, that works too. Coming from the heart. Ejaculate from the heart. That would've been nice if he was coming from the heart. Yeah, that works too. Coming from the heart. Ejaculate from the heart. That would have been nice if he was coming from the heart. Heartgasm. Yeah. I would have tied up a nice heart-shaped fly and cast my heart into the crowd with your new rod.

No, you would have done it with your subpar rod. My rod is not subpar. I would have thrown on some classic Subtronics dubstep and got a fat vape pen and just vaped hearts out to it. Vaped hearts, yeah. That would have been a good idea. Nice. I like that. A heart with a little heart. What's your warranty on that? That's a big deal when it comes to the fly rods.

Yeah, I mean, listen, this is sort of like a... Zero warranty? The true artisan rod makers know that, you know, it's sort of like a mutual understanding. It's like getting a sword from a master katana maker. Interesting. Do you ever see Kill Bill? Yeah, yeah.

You know when she goes to go get the sword? Yeah. A huri hatu or whatever? Hatori hanzo. Hatori hanzo. That's what this is. This is a Hatori hanzo. So if I said, well, I've snagged my nine foot,

five weight on a Bramble. And it's- You just take it back to Portugal. Yeah, you know, am I gonna ask Hattori Hanzo to make me another sword? No. At that point, I have lost in my mind the right to earn, to own that rock.

Understood, understood. Well, let's say one month from today, we'll do a gear off, just a classic gear off. I could use a little more time. All right, two months. My expenses have been very high lately. When do you wanna do the gear off? Let's set a date.

March 27th. That's right after my birthday. Good thinking, that's the day after my birthday. I'll be sure to get you some gear. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll ask for it from my parents. Well March 26 we record on March 26 on your birthday Fantastic you're off you're off on my birthday. You're off on your birthday Well, I don't want maybe we do the week after because I don't want to have to like let you win because it's your birthday No, no, you wouldn't do that

Would you ever do that? Why would you even suggest that as being a thing? Oh, because I just feel bad. I don't want to out gear you on your birthday. I don't think you're going to. That's a one way street to the birthday blues. And we do not want Francis getting the birthday. No, nothing's worse than the birthday blues. No. That's a Fran move.

Fran would have the birthday blues. Fran would have the birthday blues. Fran has had the birthday blues. No. That's a Fran move. Fran would have the birthday blues. Fran would have the birthday blues. Big time. Fran has had the birthday blues many times. How everyone's had the birthday blues. But Frankie. Yeah. Frankie's never had the birthday blues.

What do you think's worth the birthday blues or the post Christmas blues? Birthday blues. Birthday blues. I don't really get the post Christmas blues. Well I'm talking about more as like a child. As a child, sure, yes. There was an emptiness there. but that is fleeting.

It's quickly, you know, just get over it. Whereas birthday blues, getting older another year, you take a total snapshot of your life and how happy you are with it. I've never had the, I don't think I've ever had really bad birthday blues. I used to get the Christmas blues every Christmas, like when it was over.

Because you were sad that Jesus is getting older. I was sad that Jesus had gone on another year. And I was just sad that he keeps dying every year and then coming back. And that he keeps getting born on straw. It's not the story of Christmas at all. If Mary and Joseph had knocked on your door that night, would you have given them shelter in a spare bed?

I mean, they could take the couch. Which for them would be luxury. Hello, nine month pregnant woman, about six centimeters dilated, and her husband, you two may sleep on the couch. If you let them sleep on the hardwood floor, they'd be like, this is the nicest thing we've ever seen. They slept in a manger, right?

Yeah. Actually, I don't even know if they did much sleeping. No, they did. They had a baby. They were night owls. You think that Joseph was over the shoulder or down the chute? Come again? For the delivery. Great question. For the delivery. Oh, I see, I see. Probably down the chute if I had to guess. Be fair caught, baby Jesus. Oh, I disagree.

Over the shoulders. Because he knows it's not his. Over the shoulders is kind of a bitch move. I'm going to be an over theoulder guy. I can barely watch ER. Barely watch Nip Tuck. Yeah. I think over shoulders, definitely the move. Over the shoulders a bitch move. There's certain things you can't unsee my friend. You're going down the pipe. I'm right. If it's me, I'm here. I can't see my friend. You're going down the pipe?

I'm right, if it's me, I'm here. Pull it out with your teeth from using the umbilical cord. No. Like you're JFK towing a wounded soldier on PT-109. Yeah, I'm up close if I'm, cause you don't want the doctor down the shoe while you're over the shoulder.

Doctors can be women. Doctors gonna be down the shoe while you're over the shoulder. Doctors can be women. Doctors gonna be down the shoes. Yeah, they can. Last thing I want is a nurse delivering my wife's. I'll tell you one thing, if it's... I'll tell you one thing if it's, if I'm all over the shoulder and a lady walks in, we're getting out, we're leaving. You know, we're going to go natural. We're going to do an at home thing.

You just said you don't want the male doctor to do it. You just said that you don't want the guy to do it. Well, I don't mind if the guy does it if I'm down the chute with him. Oh, you just wanted to be around you like a tee ball coach guiding your hands on how to do it. Exactly. Guiding your hips. Well, I don't mind if the guy does it if I'm down the chute with him Oh, you just wanted to be around you like a t-ball coach guiding your hands on how to do it exactly guiding your hips

Oh, man You think that mary and joseph had like a a midwife I don't know. I just I was just thinking of that scene. Is it is it from knocked up or uh, yeah where he's like You guys are sisters Is it from Knocked Up where he's like, you guys are sisters? Yeah, when he looks. And she's getting- Oh wow, you guys are sisters.

And she's getting the- Oh, the doctor says that, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The first doctor. It's like one of the funniest lines in any movie where yeah, the two sisters are there and she's getting the ultrasound. And he looks at at her vagina and he goes you guys definitely are sisters That is pretty fucking brilliant that was back in the time when Ken Jong still could only play a doctor Oh, yeah, cuz he was a real doctor. Yeah. Oh, I didn't even know that Ken Jong is was and is I don't still is a licensed

Doctor, I think you lose doctor. No, I don't know, still is, a licensed doctor. I don't think you lose doctor. No, I don't think you do either. Well, you got to probably keep it up if you're not practicing, right? I think it's just something, it's like a Marine. Like you're, you just are a retired doctor. Yeah, well that's true. Or Jill Biden.

By title, but I'm saying like, could Ken Jong legally walk into a medical office tomorrow? You probably got to renew your fucking. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, but I still do agree. I still think you are still, this is Dr. John. It's amazing that to watch him, because I think a lot of his early roles were pretty, authoritative and learned and kind of,

coming from what he had done. Yeah. And then as he got better, well, as his career progressed, he became Leslie Chao. Yeah. Like flipping his dick out and hanging over two. It is pretty funny. It's also funny if that was your doctor.

Yeah. That guy. This guy diagnosed me with the chicken pox when I was a child. Told me to take six deep breaths. It's a deathoscope. I watched three movies this week. I saw Gladiator 2.

Great. I saw Night Bitch. Great. And I saw The Apprentice, the Trump movie. Oh, how was that? I love Keith. I have not seen any of those movies. I liked it.

But they like really went out of their way to push a gay narrative. A gay narrative? The movie was exclusively about, it was like Philadelphia. It was basically about AIDS. Really? It was so much fucking. It just had Roger Stone being so gay. Or no, Roy Cohn, I'm sorry, being super gay.

You know Roy Cohn his his lawyer who I guess but there's like scenes of him just like fucking people it's a fuck fest yeah and they try to put gay on Trump that's crazy they have like a scene where Roy Cohn's like touching his leg you can say everything you want about Trump but he's definitely not gay. Do not put gay on my boy. It's so nasty. First gay president though, that's pretty big. Or I guess second Obama.

There definitely were other gay ones back in the day. Which one never got married? Really? Yeah, they try to put gay on Lincoln. I could see Lincoln being gay for sure. Why? Tall as hell? What are other tall gay guys other than gay Pat actually gay pads built exactly like Lincoln, yeah Any dudes with that build are gay. So yeah, that's a gay build

I mean Obama was writing letters to men being like I can't wait to get in your ass tonight Like hand like handwritten to get in your ass tonight. Like handwritten letters. Get in your ass? Did he mean it like, I'm going to give you a hard time? He could have. Yeah, probably a hard time. You're sick, though. You know, I think that when presidents are done, we should by and large kind of let them be.

Well, I think that's what we've done with some, like Bush. Yeah, kind of let him be. Well, I think that's what we've done with some, like Bush. Yeah, we've let Bush be. Except I guess we did create the narrative that he did 9-11, so I guess that's not really letting him be. No, but by and large, we've let him, his popularity has risen compared to when he left all of us. Yeah, he's got bro's data.

And I think that happens with most, history is typically kind to presidents. Yeah. In their legacy. Yeah, that's true. And I think it, eh. I'd say like once three presidents go by, you're good. You're in the clear.

Well, I saw this thing from Theo Vaughn where he had this tweet about Biden and sort of like feeling bad for him, which was like, he's like, I wouldn't want, you know, someone to do this to my grandfather or whatever to put them in office and puppeteer them around when their brains were failing. And people got on him about it, I guess, understandably, whatever. But it was an interesting sentiment.

Why do people, what were people got on him saying that he chose to be president? They were like, well, he illegally pardoned all his members of his family and all this. And look, it's too close, obviously, but I hope that at some point before Biden dies, people will be like, you know, whatever, you're a good guy, Joe.

Yeah. Am I wrong? No, I agree with you, but I don't think it will happen. I don't think so either, because his presidency is too close to the end of his life. It's too close, yeah. And also it's just, we're at a weird stage in time right now where like any time

that someone important dies, like you're almost like forced to celebrate it. What do you mean, like when the queen died? Yeah, like anytime like a big like. What do you mean celebrate it? Celebrate their life or celebrate their death? What? Celebrate their life or celebrate their death?

Celebrate their death. Like that death. What? Celebrate their life or celebrate their death. Celebrate their death. Like it's a good thing they died. Like that's a trend right now, yeah. Like point at the bad things people did during their life. Yeah, yeah. Right. Really? Like when that CEO got murdered,

like no one was allowed to be like, well, he was a person with a family. The stance had to be like. I think more people said that than didn't. I don't, I mean, maybe I'm just in a fucking, like, chronically online world. It's probably what it is, honestly. Yeah.

I don't even think I'm, I don't even think I am, I wouldn't say I'm chronically online. That's probably just the most, I see people talk about stuff, like I'm not like hanging out with my friends being like, what'd you guys think about the CEO who got assassinated? That was, that's, and leads me to another great clip I saw that came up of Ari Shafir.

Who's in the office right now. Is he? I think he's downstairs. Oh really? He was talking on, I think it was on the Howie Mandel podcast. Oh yeah. And he was like, Howie Mandel was asking him about, I think anti-Semitism in the country. Oh yeah. I've seen this.

This is kind of old. Ari was like, yeah, I was like, where? I haven't seen it. Yeah. Yeah. Which I think is a little overly simplistic. It definitely, I've seen it. Yeah, I've seen it. I've seen it. Where have you guys seen it? I've seen like just shit in public Of like what I remember like when I was younger like my family was at the grocery store And there was just a dude with like a massive swastika tattoo on his calf But if he's just a white dude that went to jail

Yeah, like maybe Elon Musk was just the Aryan brother in jail and he's just trying to rep for his people at st Quentin. Yeah. Elon Musk does come from South Africa, which is the most racist. The most racist country on Earth. Yeah. They like for a long time were like, we're gonna hold on racism.

It is funny too, Diamond hands. Diamond hands in South Africa. The push is always like, oh, Obama's actually from Kenya and like all this shit, like all these people are not who they say they are. And then everyone, like all these people, but all the people that say that are like, they rally behind Elon, who's literally not from America. Yeah, but they're not, that's only because the Constitution

prohibits somebody who's not born in this country from being president of the United States. I guess, yeah. And they're not, Elon not going to make a bid. And Trump joked about that. Pretty involved. Sure, but Arnold Schwarzenegger was governor of California. Yeah.

As Bill Burr said, he can barely speak the language. Yeah, that is true. You know? That's a pretty high office to hold. Yeah, no fires when he was in office. So let me transition to this really quick. I was in San Diego. I literally fight the fire.

I went to San Diego and I was out there and it's bad. It's crazy. Why? The smoke is, you can taste it. I played golf. Oh, you're talking about, oh, you're saying the fire, you could see the, like the fires were affected. I get what you're saying.

They were present. I thought you were gonna talk about like the homeless people in San Diego or something. La Jolla got, La Jolla got, La Jolla got evacuated, or they had an evacuation notice. Really? While I was there, we went and played golf at San Diego Country Club, which is, I don't know,

25 minutes from downtown San Diego. I don't know where it is. And there was ash raining down on the greens. Like you could have stuck your tongue out and caught a piece of burned flesh or something. That's nuts. And... Just making black snowmen. Yeah. Nothing in Phoenix. And, um... Just making black snowmen.

Yeah. Nothing in Phoenix. And then there was like this whole layer of dark smoke that the sun was penetrating through, which made it darker in the middle of the day. It was very eerie. Yeah. And you just thought, I don't want to be outside. This is California.

Yeah. We're the most, San Diego, the most perfect weather in the entire country. Yeah. And it was very odd, very strange, spooky. Not good. That's pretty crazy. But nobody was leaving? Dude, I don't really know at this point what it would take for people to actually, you know what I mean? People don't leave when hurricanes are coming. No, no. People are very, they want to stand their ground.

Obstinate. Yeah. Well, people, I mean, where do you, it's a bitch to have to go somewhere and where most people don't have a place to go. Yeah. I think that's the, also, especially like if, I feel like a lot of like people, it's like, even if you have like family, like I feel like your family usually lives around where you like, like if you live on the West coast Coast I feel like your family probably lives close to the West Coast you know I mean right no that's a pretty big assumption I have no idea how true that is or American Samoa they probably live in like American Samoa and then you get into a Moana situation where you literally have to raft to see your family well it's like if you live

in LA say your family lives in San Diego, what do you, you evacuate San Diego, and then all of a sudden the fires are in San Diego, where do you go? I mean, you're drawing up the most specific hypothetical imaginable. I feel like it's not that specific. Most people in LA, their only family is in San Diego. That's why Dodgers fans and progress fans.

LA is a very big city. LA is not, it's not just people who like flew out there to become an influencer. I know. There are people that are like born and raised in Los city. LA is not, it's not just people who like flew out there to become an influencer. There are people that are like born and raised in Los Angeles. You said influencer. I didn't say influencer. There are, but there are also plenty of people whose parents live on the East Coast who live and work in LA or San Francisco or any part of the country.

I would assume that more people that live in, I'd assume there's more people in LA whose families live in California or near California than people that live in, I'd assume there's more people in LA whose families live in California or near California than people that live in LA, whose families live on the East Coast. Are you making this a Mexico thing, bro? No, it's nothing to do with Mexico. It seems like you're making it a thing about our Mexican brothers.

You know, I don't disagree with the point you're making, but I just don't, what, who cares? Why does that matter? Cause I'm saying they have nowhere to evacuate to. But out of the people in this room, we all live in New York City. Every single person in this room, all of our families live on the East Coast.

Why is it insane to think that it's the same in LA? Most of my family or half my family lives in Chicago. Your immediate family? My mom's family. Your mom's family lives in Chicago? Yeah. And what about your dad's family? My mom's family. Your mom's family lives in Chicago? Yeah. And what about your dad's family?

He's looking at you as if you're fucking lying. What about your dad's family? They're from New York. They're from New York and where do they live now? They live in, I mean there's not many left. There's like two, I have two- Where does your dad live? He lives in Philly.

Yes. And they live in New York. Okay, so that's exactly what I just said. I don't understand how that's a crazy thing to say. Francis, you live in New York City, your family lives in Maine. Wow. Stunning, a stunning proximity. What, what,, I don't understand why this is a crazy thing to say. It's not that it's, my whole point is that it's not crazy. I'm saying we were talking about how it's hard to evacuate, like a lot of people don't have places to evacuate to.

And then I agreed and said, yeah, a lot of the people, even like if you live by yourself, your places that you would evacuate to are probably not that far from where the fires are. To that point, I would say that families that live in Los Angeles, whose kids also live in Los Angeles, adult kids, are just as likely to have an aunt or an uncle who lives in, you know,

Oregon or fucking- Chicago or Phoenix or any other place. Las Vegas. As we are. Or American Samoa. Like, if you don't think that you think nobody's rafting to see their family. All I'm saying is like right now, if New York City lit on fire,

all of us would be, where would we go? California. Because that's where most people's families live. You have family in California? Most people's families live in You have family in California? Most people's families live in San Diego. That was the first thing that we established. I don't understand.

Like you guys have completely twisted what I said and made it into something crazy. I don't think what I've said is... I think actually my point that we all live in New York City and all of our families live near New York City proved my point completely. My family lives, I mean, is Maine near New York City? Yes. It's a six hour drive. is Maine near New York City? Yes. It's a six hour drive. That's not far at all.

Okay. In the grand scheme of things, that is not far. Well, then you could argue California in the grand scheme of things is not that far. But like I was in Chicago yesterday. How? Cause I just went there for like five days. Yeah, I mean, yeah, you could get to California.

I'm not saying you can't get to California, but it's definitely not close to New York City. Whip that rod out again. Here's my question. If New York City did catch fire or there was an impending catastrophic event that would force us to evacuate, where would you go? To Massachusetts. But that might be too close.

That I'm fucked. That's it? I don't have anywhere else to go. You're going to quit. My whole family lives in Massachusetts. Every single safe haven, open door, spare bedroom that you know is located in Massachusetts. Yeah, I mean, I guess I could go to like Colorado. There you go. That's nice. That's not really, but when I think of evacuating, I'm not thinking of like getting on a plane and flying to Colorado. Why not?

I'm not thinking of like getting on a plane and flying to Colorado. Why not? If New York City was on fire, or if we were like under attack, I don't think it would be that easy to just like hop on, oh, I'm just gonna hop on a flight to Colorado. We all have high status on Delta.

I think status is going out there. No, because we have the hotline. We have the diamond medallion hotline. Do you know how much I love it when I go through the first automated messaging, and then it tells me the expected wait time is zero minutes? Zero minutes. I use that digital ID line, by the way.

That was my first time using it after you put me onto it. No wait. There was a big line otherwise. And then digital ID. Are you on digital ID? No, because I use Sky Priority, which is faster. No, no, no, no. 100%. No, no, I used to think that. You're taking your shoes off, Sass.

And in an evacuation, that's going to be a problem. You think digital ID is going to be up and running in an evacuation? 100%. That thing's never going anywhere. In fact, I would say that the people who have digital ID, clear, and TSA pre-check are getting the best seats on the last plane out of

town to Colorado where we can fish. I promise you you're not going to want to be sitting first class when we're evacuating. They're going to be doubling up on first class. No, they're not. Two people per seat. They're going to be doubling up in coach. It's going to be like when the Taliban took over Afghanistan again and people were hanging onto the little wings of the plane trying to escape. That's not how it's going to go down. Yes, it is. I'm talking about, okay, so obviously Taliban took over Afghanistan again and people were hanging on to the little wings of the plane trying to escape That's not that's not how it's gonna go down. Yes, it is. I'm talking about okay, so obviously New York's never gonna catch on fire Cuz not enough built out of wood anymore. There's not enough. There's not enough or cuz and So fucking good. There's a there was a pretty big fire. I think in Williamsburg this weekend

Okay, but was it big enough to the point that the whole city had to evacuate? No, but everyone heard about it. I didn't hear about it. It was not so big because of the brave work of the fire department in New York. NYPD, yeah. New York's bravest. Yep.

So is that implying that the Los Angeles fires were so bad because there wasn't enough brave work? Absolutely correct, and Gavin Newsom was telling them, guys, let this burn out for a little bit. Interesting. It was mismanaged. Yeah. Classic mismanagement. So, all right, let's be realistic.

There's a blackout in New York City. An EMP has been set off. Nice. Where are you gonna go? Cause, okay, first of all, Tesla, fucked. So now you're fucked. Well, I'll have the charge that I've got. Nope.

EMP is going to clear that charge out. Oh, oh, you think? You may be right. I don't know. You could be right about that. Battery? Yeah. You got gas, so what's your plan?

I think the actual procedural of getting out of the city in a car is fucked. Is city bike available to me? Yeah. No, city bike wouldn't be available to you. They'd be locked up. Not even in a loophole. I can't get a loophole. I mean, you could smash the thing open and get the bike out.

I'll tell you what I'm doing. I'm going straight to that marina in Brooklyn Bridge Park and hot wiring a boat or getting a sailboat. How are you going to hot wire with no electricity? Exactly. So that's why I'm going sailboat. No, no, no. There's contained electrical, like a boat. A boat doesn't rely on any other electricity. If you just go to a marina, you could use a boat.

That's the same amount of electricity that a car uses. Yeah, I guess that's true. You're right about that. So we could get hot wire the boat. I think hot wiring a boat is good. So that's the master plan for you guys, is you can hot wire a boat off of a marina in Brooklyn. Maybe a jet ski.

OK, and then what? Where are you going to go? Staten Island? See how much gas we've got. I mean, it's probably Jersey to start and then on down to Delaware. But gas is gonna be limited. Everyone's gonna want gas

and there's not a lot of gas in New York City. So that's why I'm gonna wait till cover of nightfall and I'm gonna have a little half piece of a hose. This is the apocalypse. Have you ever siphoned gas? Yes, I have. No, you haven't. You haven't.

I certainly have. I absolutely have stuck my mouth on the business end of a hose out of our John Deere tractor and I have siphoned gas into it. I have as well. No way. Yeah.

Do you even know why that works? Gravity. I think it's pressure, right? Gravity. It's always gravity. Suction, pressure. The answer is always gravity. Yeah. It is amazing that

that works. I can't believe you both have siphoned. No, I have never siphoned. I know you haven't siphoned. You can tell he's never siphoned. I have siphoned. I'm sure you have. Just like you have somewhere to escape to if New York City goes under. Got higher status on Delta than you do. You actually don't. We actually have the exact same status. You made it to Diamond? We've had this conversation multiple times. Every single time you go, you made it to Diamond? I thought you were just platinum.

No, I am Diamond. I'm proud of you. I'm Diamond Medallion. I'm getting out to Harleysville, Pennsylvania. There's a farm. Why are you going to Pennsylvania? There's a farm out of Harleysville way. Why are you going to Pennsylvania?

There's a farm I know that has chickens. Oh, okay. There's a farm that I know in Harleysville. It's not because you have family in Pennsylvania? No, I'm going to Pennsylvania? There's a farm I know that has that has chickens. Oh, okay There's a farm that I know it's not cuz you have family in Pennsylvania There's a farm a Slaughter house to Colorado. I thought you guys were going to Colorado. No, you're going to Colorado. How am I gonna get to Colorado diamond? Dude, there's no planes. I think we got a stop in Teterboro, New Jersey There's no planes. I think we got a stop in Teterboro, New Jersey. That's fun. We hijack a prop plane.

Cessna. We hijack a mid-sized Cessna because I don't want there to be too much turbulence. No, we need to go a little bigger. You guys are fucked. You're fucked. Spooky ass turbulence. You're fucked.

Dude, what are you? Francis, you're a little closer to survival now that you got the rod. I will say that. Dude, I know how to start fires in the wild. I know how to do things. I'm at a chicken factory. Look, I know how to start.

I'm not saying you don't know how to do that. I have spent more hours outdoors over the last year than you have. I think I'm okay. You're in trouble. I'm not in trouble. I'm good. Why? As soon as shit hits the fan, I'm gone.

To Massachusetts. I live right next to the tunnel. I'll walk the tunnel. I'll just walk to Jersey. And then once I'm in Jersey, I'm gone. So we couldn't walk to Jersey? From Brooklyn? Good luck getting there before the tunnel's closed.

Where are they gonna close the tunnel? You're gonna be swimming across the river. Fine, we'll go to Connecticut. We'll go east. Connecticut's fucked. Why is Connecticut more- As soon as shit hits the fan in New York, the US is probably just gonna blow up Connecticut

because they finally got the chance to sacrifice it. Yeah. Just shoot Connecticut in the back of the head. New York's gone, just get rid of Connecticut while you're at it. Connecticut's got mansions, bro. Connecticut has probably mansions that have so much space that it feels like you're in the wilderness.

They got bomb shelters, they got survival bunkers. If you want it to be like a wilding, going to Connecticut and running through rich people's neighborhoods and spooking them, that would be sick. Like Newport? That's Rhode Island. Rhode Island. I think your biggest problem would wind up

being that you would start a little bit of a counterculture society of cannibals, and you would be like kind of the leader of them, like finding people on the road, like Cormac McCarthy style, and like probably disemboweling them. But then your group, your band of merry men would turn against you.

Why though? Why would they turn against me? I brought them this far. I think that it, they, it would, you're, the fact that you would want to eat first every time. No, that's where you're wrong though. Cause I would know, I would know not to save the tastiest tid No, that's where you're wrong though, because I would know. I would know not to save the tastiest tidbits.

I feel like you'd be eating the rump just going right to town on the rump right away. I'd offer Achilles heels and all sorts of things. The bacon, the bacon of the person. I think that you just, what's the highest leadership position you've ever been in? I was vice president of my freshman class at Chevros. I was captain of the lacrosse team my senior year.

That's pretty good. And what was your like approval rating amongst your, the lacrosse team or at Chevron? Chevros, well, as a vice president, we didn't really do much as freshmen. In fact, I think we only went to like one or two of the student leadership meetings before we realized we had no skin in the game. Okay.

So people were probably okay with you though. They wouldn't want to kill you. Yeah. Yeah. My leadership is... I'm killing Francis immediately. Well, I think you've got to let him hunt for a couple of days first. I'm still, look, I'm still on the topic

of this West Coast thing. Yeah, same. I feel like you guys owe me an apology. Because I said that people will live in American Samoa? No, you guys were wiping tears away from your faces laughing so hard. You're acting like nobody lives in American Samoa, like weirdly, like Moana isn't moving.

All I was saying is that if you live, it's not uncommon for the place that you live, like genuinely, like most people that I know, where they live, their family is from close to there. That's not an uncommon thing. I don't really know how you feel the need to throat fuck us with that point. That like milk toast ass point.

What is, who cares? Dude, because we were talking about, we were talking about evacuating from California. It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter at all. We are not, I don't even know if we're disagreeing or here. We were talking about evacuating to California and I was saying, and you guys were like, well, yeah, it's fucked. And I was like, yeah, it's fucked because also like even if you have to evacuate, the

only place that you really can probably evacuate, like if you have family is in California. Like there's probably a lot of people that evacuated from LA to San Diego. You're still reiterating it. You guys, you guys laughed at my face being like, no, dude, what makes you think that anyone from LA has family in LA? That's pretty much what you guys were saying. I just don't think that it's that like a thunderous of a point. I do. I do. I think I don't think it's that thunder you just spilled your coffee everywhere so that's good we'll have to get a new rug but that's fine. Well why wouldn't you stop that? Why won't you stop that from

happening? When was I gonna stop that? It was on the ground when I saw it. Two splatter patterns of coffee. I looked over and it was on the ground. There's two massive shit stains of coffee. It's alright. I guess that's my karma for not believing that people can live closer to their families. My head was in the sand on that one. You guys are like, well, there's fires. Yeah, just go to Oregon. Just go to, Oregon actually does work,

so it's a bad idea. That's what I'm saying. Them getting up to the Pacific Northwest is as easy as us getting to New England from here, probably. Yeah, probably. Yeah, probably. Probably almost exactly. Maybe a little farther. California's pretty big.

From LA to Oregon, it would be a haul. That's a long way. That's pretty much. That would probably be like a 15-hour drive. So we should start saving gas then. Start saving gas. We should all get a pocketful of gas any time we swing by a station.

I like that. Some nip bottles of gas. Just a little nip bottle. We should also get sort of tuned up on how to hand crank the propeller of a Cessna. Doesn't sound that complicated. Did you ever see the movie The Great Escape? No.

Oh, you'd love that movie. I'm sure I would. Did you ever see it? Steve McQueen? It's old? Yeah, it's old. I don't think I have. POW Camp World War two. Oh, maybe they're constantly trying to escape I oh maybe I have I Don't fucking know Obviously, I'm not adding anything to the conversation. I mean I'm a now talk. Yeah, you are you dig it throw fuck badly

I Literally was probably pushing back because just to have to be argumentative for the sake of the show. I think I was too. I think I made some great points. I think when I draw, I can't believe everyone in this room is from the East Coast. I think that was kind of like nail in the coffin. But what about you? So you and also I want the viewers to know I'm not just talking about us, talking about our producers as well. I think you can't explain diaspora, a diaspora. Come again?

What's a diaspora then? How is, I mean all humanity. I don't even know what, never heard that word in my entire life. All of humanity would just be in the same place. You have to explain what a diaspora is before you go and use that word. It's like the spreading of a people.

How would you explain the spreading of people? Like Africans living in America. Yeah, I mean, obviously that's a thing. That happens. Yeah. So people do spread out. People spread out for sure, yeah. People definitely spread out.

But you're acting like we're all still living in like one strip of like the first neighborhood that people don ever living. I was saying it's easy to not have somewhere to easily just evacuate to because I don't think it's uncommon for people to stay close to where their family is from. What about this one? What about this one? And then you guys were like, what makes you think that?

Why would you ever think something like that? Look, Sas, I'll do to you what you're doing to us, which is to oversimplify everything that just happened. You said that the people of San Diego and Southern California, given that all of their parents probably live there too, will have nowhere to go in the event- I don't think I said all. I think I said a lot of people. You said they're fucked, categorically.

Yeah, pretty much, yeah. That I disagree on. I'd say a good amount of people are fucked. I'd say there's probably, I would say, 50% of the people that had to evacuate from the fires are fucked. If we're just nitpicking people's points, your original point of you wouldn't be able to go anywhere

except for Massachusetts, because that's where your family lived. Like, there's like, you could go anywhere because there's hotels and places to go everywhere. Yeah, but I, like, if the world was ending, I would probably go back to my family. I probably wouldn't just go, like, crash at the Hilton and fucking Poughkeepsie for the night. But you're saying if the whole East Coast is on fire, I thought was your original point. And just watch the world burn. fucking Poughkeepsie for the night. But you're saying if the whole East Coast is on fire, I thought was your original point. Watch the world burn.

That's enough Poughkeepsie slander. I think we were over the Poughkeepsie slander. Give your give your your closing argument on it. My closing argument has been it's done. It's over. Okay. All right, guys, let's take a second and talk about game time. Game time.

The official ticketing partner of Barstool Sports, the official ticketing partner of Son of a Boy Dad. You know it's big game season, and we're big game hunting because we want to be in the building at the big game. So what do I do? But I open up Game Time, and I say, hmm, how am I going to get to this game? And luckily, they have solution after solution to my problem. And my favorite way to get to the bottom of this little problem that I have

GameTime picks it's a tab a simple feature. All you have to do is Give it a click and suddenly it's sorting by the best prices the best seats All the best tickets in a streamlined fashion right for you right there on the page It's so simple if you want to get out to the big game, you should be using Game Time Picks. You should be using all the features that they have over there on the website because it is the best. Download the app. You have to download the Game Time app today and use code BOYDAD. It's easy to score great deals with the new Game Time Picks feature. What time is it?

Game Time. I'm pretty sure it's Game time. We going to that game or what? Hopefully. But if we are, we're going with our good friends over at game time. I got a facial this week. That's good. Nice. I haven't had one of those in a while.

My skin is so dry everywhere, my hands look ridiculous. Most men don't get facials. Right, this is my first one. So I wanted to give you your chance to make any type of facial jokes you gay right? That kind of stuff for like what was his name? This is why we need me on the podcast to get to get down well I because cuz France because you just go you just go I got a facial this weekend and then Francis's immediate response was man

I haven't got one of those in a minute Your response should have been oh, I've never even considered getting one of those. I've had probably seven, seven-ish. Yeah, that's seven too many. And they're awesome. Seven too many. I just got it for the first time and my wife said... No way that was your first? It was. That was probably your first real one. What do you mean? You've probably done facials at home and shit like that? No. You've definitely done like a little spa day at home? No, she asked me, she was like, what do you do for your face? And I was just like, I just use the soap that is in my shower.

See this? What? You use like bar soap? No, like a body wash. Not face wash, just a body wash. You use a body wash on your face? Yeah. Heavens.

What do you use? Oh, I have so much stuff going on. You got an American Psycho lineup. Not to sound like a complete, whatever, Metro-sexual, I have incredibly sensitive skin. I have to, I'm avoiding foes and threats at every turn, whether it's the soot of the subway or the sun or the fires of San Diego.

All of these things get into your pores. Yeah. Dry me out. I felt amazing. My skin was fucking silky afterwards. But before I went in, my wife was like, you might have to take your shirt off. And she was like, because she goes to this same, this Kazakh lady, this lady from Kazakhstan who set us up, and she said she does a top of the shoulders type of massage or something. I was like, that's fine, whatever, I'm prepared to do that, even though I think it's weird

that that's part of it. I got there and she was like, take everything off. Head to toe? For a facial. She wanted me to take my pants off. Head to toe? For a facial. She wanted me to take my pants off. What'd you say? I was, I did. You went boxers though, right?

I kept my boxers on. I wasn't taking everything off. You get under a sheet. It's like a massage. I got under a sheet. I basically took my socks off. I was cold. I felt so vulnerable. Why would she make me take my pants off

for a facial? You boys have strayed too far from the path. This is this sounds like a good facial. So what do they got you guys doing out in Brooklyn? It wasn't in Brooklyn. It was in Manhattan. Back to Manhattan. It was actually up by Epstein's old place. I'm sure it was.

It was. Dude, I've done them at Hay Day, which is like, you know, a chain and they get you kind of in and out pretty quick. That was OK. But when you go to a place where there's only one person and it's their individual place and they get you fully undressed, that's a totally different experience. She was this Kazakh lady. She was talking to me about remembering when communism fell in her country. That entrepreneurship was outlawed in Kazakhstan, that they couldn't have

any capitalistic instincts, that even if you were an artisan who loved to build chairs You couldn't open up a shop. I'm getting all this laid on me while I'm ass naked getting a facial. It was fucking heavy Yeah, it's a lot. I was freezing I'm sure you were No, I had boxes on but uh, we got to get you out to a facial brother Not in a million years. Saz's skin looks pretty good. It looks really good. Really nice skin. So nice olive, you know what I use Butter Nothing. We should hit him with the fuck Mary kill

True was a good one hit him with it. I had fuck Mary kill butter salt sugar There is a right answer. Okay, And it is my answer. Butter, salt, sugar. And we're talking like, like no butter, no salt, no sugar. In killing it. Yes. Like, like if you kill butter, you can't, or if you kill salt, like Ron tried to have a little sneak around, you can't have salted butter. Oh, it's unsalted butter? Unsalted butter. Wow. Butter's gone. I actually think, and I could be wrong about this,

but I think, isn't salt the thing you actually need in your diet of those three? So I'm going to go Mary Salt. Exactly. I'm gonna go Mary salt exactly and then I'm gonna go This is hard I guess I'll fuck butter and I'll kill sugar Is that what I did is that what I had I think so I think I Killed you I think I killed butter because butter will give me fat and then I could and then I could make more Stuff with salt and butter and it's It's going to be a savory lifestyle, but I'm trying to cut back on my sugar anyway.

If you're telling me between fat and sugar, I think fat is probably going to, based on the way I live in terms of working out and stuff like that is more beneficial. But I didn't realize there's also the massive loophole that oil can replace butter almost all the time, like an olive oil. Oh, well, I didn't even think about that. An olive oil, like in cakes, you can use oil instead of a butter. That's true. Or cooking, like in a pan. I mean, yeah. In that sense, if you're just saying like, I can use replacement versions of any of these.

Well... You think olive oil is a replacement version of butter? Absolutely. I think that's a whole different category. I think it's a whole different category. I think, I think... That's vegetable sauce. Yeah.

Olive oil is always the substitute for butter in everything I do. Well, yeah, when you're cooking, yeah, definitely. But you're not going to have like a bagel with olive oil on it. That actually sounds kind of good. I think you'd be surprised how often I would. I also don't put butter on my bagels. You know what I mean. Your cheese or lox. If I, I mean, I don't, I'd like a brick or something. You're not going to have a waffle and drizzle olive oil on the top. No, I guess, but I would have pasta and I would put olive oil on the pasta instead of butter.

Yeah. But I also wouldn't put butter on a salad. True. True. I think you can wind up, if you keep salt, you can kill sugar and butter. Yeah, I agree. I think that that's what I could remember. But I think your original one was you killed salt.

I think I was marrying butter or something. But I wanted the loophole of salted butter. Yeah. Which was dirty. A dirty, dirty game. We came to the conclusion that salt is necessary. Yeah, there was this article I read a long, long time ago about this family that was discovered

out in Siberia, in the woods of Siberia. And they had been living off the grid, unknown, primitively for decades. And I don't know if they were even registered, but they tried to sort of read, they were pretty wild. They were feral humans. And I remember, I don't know how they like got lost out there, why they were out there, but they were there forever. And I distinctly remember that the mother said that the hardest thing for her to adjust to in terms of why they, when they got out there

and living out there was the absence of salt. Interesting. And that when she got back into society, that was the thing she was most looking forward to. Yeah. There's no salt out there. Yeah. They couldn't, they couldn't figure out salt. Yeah.

That's what my argument was that because when my dad had to get heart surgery, we had to go salt free diet torture. That's a completely different argument. Again, what is it about salt that you need? You need a certain level of it, right? To retain water. To retain water. Is that what it is?

I don't know. There's something where if you don't have salt, you can start to develop a deficiency or a disease, I feel like. Does it have to do with iron? Maybe. I don't know. Calcium perhaps? Maybe you just get nasty. I'm gonna look this up.

I have to know, I'm sorry. You get to the bottom of it. Me and Sass will talk ball on the side. No interest. Are you serious? I'm out. Why? I'm just looking for next season.

You're such a piece of shit. Fair weather ass. You have to be able to talk about the losses as much as the wins. You have to be able to. They want to feel your pain, bro. Just let it out. Did you find out the answer? Well it's called hyponatremia is a salt deficiency and it can cause muscle cramps, nausea and vomiting,

headache, confusion, dizziness, you know, rhabdo. You ever heard of rhabdomyolysis? Rhabdo, no I don't. That's what happened to that whole Tufts LaCrosse team where they all started like being hospitalized. But I don't know if it's some more chronic thing or not. Probably damn good for your heart. But Sass, you need to fucking confront this.

Talk ball? Yeah, you need to talk about the Bills. I'm down to talk ball, dude. The Grizzlies smoked the Jazz on Saturday. The late LeBron put up a fucking game against the Warriors. But did they win? Yeah, Lakers beat the Warriors. Well the Warriors are fucking mid now.

Yeah. Low, low mid, honestly. Still impressive though, it's still impressive that LeBron's able to shut down Curry. But you don't think that Curry's gonna wind up getting traded, did you see that Houston package that they're talking about? No.

They were talking about Curry for... Curry and Draymond for like Sangoon, Green... Really? Firsts maybe? I don't know if they're gonna throw in Reed Shepard, but he's been playing pretty shitty. He's been playing awful? What's talk ball? Who do you think is gonna go to the championship this year?

Celtics are, Celtics aren't looking amazing. No, but they'll turn it on. They started off well. Yeah, they're just having a little mid season. They'll turn it on. I mean, the Cavs have been amazing. Cavs have been really strong. Knicks are, I mean, they're right there.

Are the Bucks not very good this year? No. Well, if they wind up getting Bradley Beal, that would be huge for them. That would be big. Bruins are playing these too. Can we cut this charade? This is a ball podcast. We're talking ball.

If you wanna do a bit, he's gonna fucking choke it out. He's gonna hunt it down like a chicken in the yard. But if he wants to do a bit, he's got to have the fucking, the biggest burst to be able to fuck. What? Well, in Sass's defense, weirdly, I was trying to do a bit with the fly rod, but he did embrace that to a large extent. But he, not earnestly, he didn't embrace the bit,

he just likes the thing you brought in. He likes the toy. Yeah, you're right. Yeah. If it was like some other, if you were like interested in like building a vacuum or something like that, he wouldn't even be able to say what a vacuum is, bro. Spot on. You would be interested in like building a vacuum or something like that he wouldn't mm-hmm wouldn't be able to say what a vacuum is bro spot on you would be interested in that Francis came in and said he was gonna build a vacuum if he had a dirt

devil that would really grab your attention I didn't pretend to be interested in the fly rock just saying okay bills chiefs you got to talk about the bills lose bills got smacked around Patrick Mahomes daddied up the Bills. That was nasty. I wouldn't say that. I would say the Chiefs were the better team, for sure. Right. And you think you just had a blind spot? You couldn't see it all year? No. I knew that was going to happen. So why'd you have us put in the Bills win for the bet?

Well, actually though, that bet covers. We hit what I said to put in. That was genius. No, I said three and a half. That was genius. No Josh Allen rushing touchdown killed us though. We were right there. Where do you think Josh Allen could go play on a different team where he would not continue to come up short as a result of other players around him or coaches. Because this is the, however many years in a row now, we have to say it's not Josh Allen's fault.

It's not Josh Allen's fault, but at a certain point is I don't think there's- He can't play any better. He can't play any better. The quarterback cannot play any better than Josh Allen is playing and the Bills continue to lose to the Chiefs I mean I was talking about with MOOC last night and he was saying like that they like people were like people are saying that they should move on from Sean McDermott, which it's like I get I Get the frustration and being like this happens every single year, but at a certain point. It's like

What what is another coach going to do? Yeah. I just don't understand. How are you going to be three points to the best team? Yeah. Like there's, there's real like, yeah, Dalton King cage should have caught the pass. I really don't think it, I don't think it was like the Mark Andrews equivalent. Not at all. Not at all. Come on. The people are trying to act like a dude. That's crazy. That's not, that's not right. No.

It was a tough catch and like, yeah, he should have caught it. Ball was coming out wobbly. There was a lot of things that I don't understand. I just don't, there were coaching decisions that just straight up didn't make sense. I mean, James Cook was averaging 10 yards a carry and every time they were at a third and one or they were on the goal line, they just did it.

They tried to do the tush push, I mean, what, 15 times and failed 14? Well, it's so strange that that play has been effective on a 96% hit rate. And all of a sudden one team figures out how to stop it. But the Chiefs have one of the best D lines in the NFL. That's true. That is true. So how are you going to... But I just don't understand. So the tush push clearly didn't work. NFL. That's true. That is true. So how are you going to, but I just don't understand like so the tush push clearly didn't work. So I don't understand why you wouldn't have James Cook just run it in three, like he was averaging 10 yards of carry. Like you think he wouldn't be able to get

a first down once or, or, or just run a trick play and have Josh Allen run in, have him run it in, not do a tush push. So you want to keep McDermott? No, I would keep McDermott. You think it's the X's and the O's or the Jimmy's and the Joe's? I don't know. I think it's the Jimmy's and the Joe's. I think they need better Jimmy's and Joe's. I don't know.

I don't know what they need, but yeah, it sucked. I mean, it sucks for the Bills. I was devastated for the Bills, but I'm more just, I just can't believe that the Chiefs are, I mean, I can. I mean, I don't know. I don't know what to say. It sucks because you hate the Chiefs so much. It's just not a, no one wanted this to be the Super Bowl.

You're just actively hating on the Chiefs. You always hate the Chiefs. Yes. And then they still just beat the team that you love the most. I was like, that was the worst I've ever taken anything. Like I genuinely thought I was going to have a panic attack at the end of the game. I couldn't breathe.

I was so, I was so tense. Oh, so frustrating. You were standing right by the state or by the screen. I saw that tweet. I was standing next to the TV and then I was, I mean, dude, it was just like, because that's, I think that the reason that it hurt so much, because that's not how I thought it was. I knew, I, deep down in my heart, I knew they were going to lose. Like I knew that, I knew they were, I thought they were going to lose by a field goal, which they did, but I thought it was going to be like one second walk off fucking 70 yard field goal from Butker that goes directly down the middle and somehow would probably still have been

good from 30 more yards. I thought that's how they were going to lose. I I for sure thought that the bills were going to score on that drive. I can't believe they didn't like the Jimmy's and the Joe's. Yeah. Or maybe it was the X's and O's dude if they had just given it to Dalvin Cook. I mean to James Cook. Yeah. I yeah. It just doesn't. It didn't make sense. What do you think? It's the X's and the O's or the Jimmy's and the Joe's? I've been wondering X's, O's, Jimmy's, Joe's

since last night. It just, it didn't like their, their, their first drive back after the half, they come down and they just have James Cook just run it right down the chief's throat. And they could not stop James Cook. And then, down the Chiefs throat and they could not stop James Cook and then it's like and then big plays happen and all of a sudden you got fucking Ty Johnson in the game. It's the same shit that- Why would they have Ty? Why would they have Ty Johnson?

Why do they have Ray Davis is good but why do you have Ty Johnson in the game? You've James Cook is one of the best running backs in the NFL. What do you have 17 touchdowns on the year? No, we had over 20. 20? Yeah. Yeah. He had two touchdowns last night.

Games on the line. It wasn't like they were on a time crunch at all. If they scored, they would have gone up. They could have burned the clock and run one in with James Cook and ended the game. Sad. But instead, you got Josh Allen. I mean, it's every year they do that. They have Josh Allen trying to play fucking hero ball.

He's got a blitz coming at him and he's trying to make like behind the back 40 yard throws. But you just have to tip the cap to the chiefs. Great genius blitz that they dialed up. Yeah, you gotta tip the hat to the chiefs. They're unstoppable. They're sick. Eagles are good though.

Yeah, Eagles are good, but I mean, if the Eagles, if the Chiefs shut down Saquon, which I don't even know if that's possible, you guys are fucked. And I think honestly, I think part of the problem is Andy Reid is such a good coach. And Spagnolo, their defensive coach is sick too. But it's like Andy Reid going up against against Siriani is like

Your real your rod against your fire. Yeah, pretty much Yeah, I mean you're gonna need say Kwan to have the greatest NFL game of all time to be say Kwan will be and that Will be your real Come again. That would be a real on your rod banquet beer real. No say Kwan is everything He's the bankless. He's the banquet beer real. No, Saquon is everything. He's the banquet beer real. No, Saquon is the rod. He's the line, the rod, the grip, the reel. He's everything. Yeah, I mean, I love the... I don't even really care at this point. Like, it doesn't really matter to me. I'd love the Eagles to win. I don't expect the Eagles to win. I expect the Chiefs to win.

I'd love the Eagles to win. I don't expect the Eagles to win. I expect the Chiefs to win The I just didn't want the Chiefs to win makes the play out make it to the Super Bowl And then now that they're now that they're in the Super Bowl. I don't see how you can stop them Especially in a dome in a dome. They're such a good team and they're going for a three-peat Seems like they're already they're already running their ass everybody wants to crown their ass already cuz it's hard not it means hard not it's hard not that everybody feels like they already won look I'm rude I'm rooting for the Chiefs I was running I'm rooting for the I'm not rooting for the Chiefs I'm rooting for the Eagles I was looking at tickets on game time I was seeing $18,000 a ticket I couldn't believe it holy moly well cuz me and Ron are going

do you want to come what we're gonna go to the game no you're not yes we are I don't believe you we're paying out of pocket though I can't afford that literally cannot afford not gonna be we going to be, we're not going to go if it's $18,000 a ticket. That like you could go 7,000. We're waiting for it to dip for row 40 is 7,000 in the upper, upper level. Think about this. Think about this. You're going to the chief's Eagles Superbowl. You're also going to see Kendrick Lamar. Oh, that's a good point.

Think about that ticket. Actually. Think about that ticket. That's not a bad point. Yeah, but it's 23,. Think about that ticket. Actually. Think about that ticket. That's not a bad point. Yeah, but it's 23,000 for like a 50 yard line. Sass, you gotta get it, bro. What do you mean I have to get it?

I'm only going if you're going. I'm not going to go by myself. Obviously, I'm going to go. You think I'm going to abandon my birds? I like watching the Super Bowl on TV with friends so much that... That's a good argument. I actually might prefer... Yeah, I agree with that.

...to do that over... Overgoing. ...going to the game. Yeah, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I, yeah. I think that that is one of the best, especially with how expensive the game is, but the chance

to see the Eagles win one in person, that's once in a lifetime. Right. I just don't know if I could turn down the chance to see the Chiefs lose. So just as a corollary to that, so your team is the Eagles, my team is the Celtics. I purchased a ticket, I don't know if I was back at Barstool yet, to game six of the NBA Finals. Celtics Warriors. This was two years ago? Three years ago? And the Celtics won game one and game two. And it very much looked like they were going to win the series, probably in six games at most. And if they... It was either like, they'll have won before then, or that'll be the clinching game. And I paid like, whatever, $3,000 for a ticket to that hypothetical game. They then lost the next three

games against Golden State and were down 3-2. So I'm now going to a game, I've spent all this money thinking I'm going to watch them win their title, big coronation, confetti. And now I'm watching a Betty and now I'm watching a, they need to win this to stay alive game, which they didn't. And I saw Golden state win the championship on an away floor, which was the worst thing I've ever fucking seen. It was like nothing could have been more upsetting and dismal and sad, deflating. I remember G-Eazy was there and he was a state Warriors fan and he was celebrating.

Not Gerald. There's just like something, I mean, now granted, Super Bowl, theoretically neutral ground, you're gonna have whatever, either way, like Chiefs fans are gonna be pumped. I guess my point is I never wanna risk that again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ever. Yeah.

So I won't do that. Yeah. I was there when they lost to the Chiefs a couple years ago and that was one of the worst experiences of my life. Exactly. Just, and knowing that you paid that much to see a loss. Exactly.

Is the worst part. But Sass, I mean, it's win win for you you're basically wallow no it's not though because i i don't know if i could handle going and seeing the chiefs win what do you mean handle why do you hate them so much i just do because it's like they're already i'm already i was in the bathroom before this are already posting graphics of like brady verse mahomes in their first seven seasons you You hate them because you love Brady? Well, I love the Patriots. But you love the Bills.

The Bills and the Patriots don't get along. They're like butter and oil. No, but I, we've been over this. I like the Bills because I met the entire team. It's hard to not like the Bills after that. Well, what if you met the Chiefs? Do we need to set that up? No, I don't think I would want to meet the Chiefs.

Because you were afraid you'd like them. No, I don't think I think I wouldn't be able to like look Patrick Mahomes in the eye and shake his hand. Because you hate him so much. And shake his hand. Yeah, right. No chance, bro. No chance. No, I would definitely fold immediately. I will say-

I'd be like, you're the best. You're better than Brady. I will say, there was one like, you're the best. You're better than Brady. I will say, There was a, there was one commercial that tried to, you know, be self-aware featuring Patrick Mahomes last night. Yeah, I saw it. Where they were like, Patrick's in every commercial. Maybe sick. Dude, I'm not kidding you.

The number of commercials during that game that featured Patrick Mahomes was something I've never seen before in any sport broadcast ever. Yeah. It was so heavy handed. That's why I would have been so sick for the bills to make it. And then like they're still have to run the Patrick Mahomes commercials in the Superbowl. And it's like, bro, you're in the cank- you're at Cancun right now. How much extra money do you think you made off of all these commercials? Billions.

I mean, State Farm must be paying him, yeah, like $40 million a year. What? Oh my god. Maybe more. I don't know. So his same salary that he's getting to play football, he's getting to just be in the commercial too? Probably.

Yeah. If I had to guess. I thought it would be like a couple million. I mean, dude, I know how much, I've heard how much people make from commercials who are nobody. Right. I think, like, people make,

comedians who booked a fucking random gig for a commercial are getting paid like 50K. I used to do that. Yeah. Yeah 50K. I used to do that. Yeah. Yeah, you told me how much, I mean, I'm not saying you're nobody, but in the... Oh, I was in, when I had, when I booked my AT&T commercial, I was a nobody.

But also like, yeah. And then- Fully nobody. But then even in comparison, like, like booking, like you now booking a commercial for AT&T is the equivalent to like, in comparison to Patrick Mahomes is the equivalent to like a homeless person. I'm not saying that as a dig as you, but I'm saying that's how big Patrick Mahomes is. Sure, but I think the better point there is that the AT&T commercial as

compared to my yearly income now would be commensurate with Patrick. That's why I think Patrick Mahomes isn't gonna waste his time going to shoot multiple state farm commercials unless it's commensurate with his yearly income. It's gotta be 20 mil plus. That's why I said 40. Yeah, I think you're right. And then it's probably even more because they pay you,

you get royalties, residuals, they keep extending it. They've been running that one with fucking Andy Reid where he goes like, fumble-roosky, fumble-roosky, which by the way, I find to be the most uncomfortable. That to me, you brought your head coach in and he looks like a fool. I disagree. He looks like a fool. I disagree.

That's actually probably the only one that doesn't bother me. I hate that one. That's my least favorite. I love it. I love Andy Reid going, fumble, roosky. It gets me. You know how you know that that is an embarrassing one? Is because Patrick Mahomes is still standing on the side

kind of being like, this is fucking bullshit. Yeah. Okay, I got his total endorsements per year as of four days ago from Forbes. The total that he makes on endorsements. How much? Any guesses? I'm gonna go 150 million a year.

That seems like a lot. I'm gonna go 150 million a year. That seems like a lot. I'm gonna go 75. 25. Wrong. Fake numbers. Fake numbers. Forbes is lying. Fucking Forbes. He's got, he's the face of State Farm and T-Mobile. Endorsement money totals about 25 million dollars per year. Dude, that's like how if you look up like how much is Shane Gillis worth and they're like and T-Mobile. Endorsement money totals about $25 million per year.

Dude, that's like how if you look up like, how much is Shane Gillis worth? And they're like $700,000. This is Forbes that's saying this. They lie, they lie. Forbes is fake news. They don't know the numbers. They don't have the numbers. They're not seeing the contracts from,

that's not public information, right? No. The contract that he's signing with State Farm. No. You think he's making hundreds of millions? Then he would just be a billionaire like, like. LeBron's a billionaire? Yeah. Yeah, but LeBron's 40. Patrick Mahomes is 29.

Yeah. That's fucking nuts. Well, salute to him. I love to see a black man get paid. True. Love to see a black man get paid. He. Love to see a black man get paid. He's doing a lot for the black culture. For sure.

With his racist wife. And She's racist? Yeah. Oh no. What's the evidence of that? Nothing. Not that I don't believe. There isn't any.

That sucks. I'd love to have something don't believe it. There isn't any. That sucks. I'd love to have something to pin on her just for the birds. But the birds are sick, dude. Yeah, the birds are sick. I wish them the best. I thought that you were going to be more juice up about the birds based on the furious texts you were sending me trying to get to the Super Bowl. Am I crazy to say that the Bills need to have home field advantage

in order to beat the Chiefs? Yes, 100%. If they do, I think it's a three-point swing in the other direction. But I think they've lost with home field advantage. No, dude, that game has been at Arrowhead every fucking year. Was last year not at... You might be right, but to me, it seems to me that every year that game is at Arrowhead.

I think the divisional round, didn't the Bills get knocked out of the divisional round? Did it lose to the Ravens last year, maybe? Cause wasn't it Ravens Chiefs last year? It was Ravens Chiefs last year, yeah. Tough for you to remember cause you were just starting to watch ball then. Why would that be tough for me to remember then? Cause you were just starting to watch ball then. Why would that be tough for me to remember then?

Because you were just starting. But that means it would be sharper than ever in my head. I'm probably wrong. I think it might have been it might have been it in Buffalo. Yeah. Just giving you a hard time, bro. All good. I want to give you a hard time, but I can't. I know.

I know that you've been desperate to. I've come in every week, win after win, just getting the shit kicked out of me by you. And then suddenly we have a resounding win and you pivot to basketball. Look, I want to give you a hard time, but I can't root against the Eagles. And you saw what they did, too. They looked sick. They look they won by 32 points. That's who you had to put respect on that.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, that was a good win. What's your your hedging, what's your hesitation about? No, I mean, it's the commanders. You play who's on your schedule. You play is on your schedule, but it's the I mean, we're talking about the commanders versus the chiefs in the Bills. Yeah, it was the commanders. You play who's on your schedule. You play who's on your schedule, but it's the, I mean, we're talking about the commanders versus the chiefs and the Bills.

Yeah, it was a 32 point win. You're supposed to beat them by a lot. Yeah. The Eagles did exactly what they were supposed to do. That's all I'm saying. They got the job done. Do your job, Belichick. Do your job.

Belichick. I'm rooting for the Eagles. I'm rooting for Saquon for sure. That's bro. Saquon's a class act. Yeah, he is. Great guy. Great blocker.

Loved his post game interview. You see his blocking? Job's not finished. Yeah. Loved the, oh, loved the block. Multiple blocks. Loved, what's his name getting in the end zone? Was it Simpli?

Siply? Shiply. Will Shiply. I had- And seeing Saquon just losing it. I had Saquon over 119.5 yards rushing. He had 118. Oh yeah.

Really? It's so gutting. Vegas, they're sharp. It was so gutting. And he had a 60 yard run in the first quarter and I'm like, got it. Yeah. But then they put in the white brother.

The white brother had 70 plus. I had, I did well yesterday. had Saquon to two touchdowns and I think it was like a hundred paid out for 75 and then I had And then or no, it was a hundred paid out 375 oh you're betting a hundred now once it gets to this time of the year Yeah, maybe I'm a little worried about our gear off and then and then I had James cook to touchdowns solo and that was 50 to pay 475 However, if the Bills won the game yesterday We're talking about generational wealth

Yeah, my payouts would have been Budweiser Reels. Yeah, we're talking like the average net worth in my neighborhood would have gone up out there. Yeah. We're talking like the average net worth in my neighborhood would have gone up. Gentrify. Yeah. Gentrify the neighborhood you're evacuating to. Yes. Yes. People know you're coming. There's fires in New York. The guy has hit a 15-leg parlay. I mean, just what a devastating ending. Lists your home for sale now. And then just the tease. I turned it off once they, once the fourth down wasn't completed, I turned it off. Cause it was like, then they were like, game's not over.

And it's like, it's over. We know it's over. It wasn't. But you know it's over because you know Patrick Mahomes just going to run the exact same play where he just, he snaps the ball and then he just peels around to the side. And then for some reason, there's not a single

person on the other side every single time, the same exact play. And there's not a single person on the other side every single time, the same exact play. And there's not a single person on the other side. Yeah. And it's like, dude, he's not fast. Patrick Holmes can't even be top 10 fastest quarterbacks in the NFL. Definitely not. But he, but it's just that he's all like when he starts to scramble, there is not anyone within 20 yards of it. He just has great hips. He reminds me of Julio. Mmm. Same hips. They have that same hip bone. Mm-hmm.

Honestly, if you just set up their hips like Braille, I wouldn't be able to tell them apart. Yeah, I don't know. Dude, it's just devastating. It's ruined my week. And it has nothing to do with the Bills. I don't think he heard a single word you said there. No, yeah, he looked like Julio, very Braille. I heard Braille. Very Braille.

Something about Braille and hips. Yeah, I don't know. It's not even about the Chiefs though. No, it's all about the Chiefs. Oh, it's not about the Bills. It's not about the Bills, it's about the Chiefs. It's about the Chiefs. Right. It doesn't, it's whatever, you know?. Oh, it's not about the Bills. It's not about the Bills. It's about the Chiefs. It's about the Chiefs. Right.

It doesn't, it's whatever, you know? I mean, Drake May is going to have to be the only quarterback that's going to step up and beat the Chiefs. Well, we were the only ones who could step up and beat Jayden, who you were sucking off last week. Jayden Daniels made great accomplishments this season. He did make great accomplishments, but give us our credit. We beat him.

Dude, yeah, you guys played the JV team and you won by 40. great accomplishments this season. He did make great accomplishments but gave us our credit. We beat him. Dude yeah you guys played the JV team and you won by 40. Congrats. We did what we're supposed to do. I saw I read this morning which I mean obviously I watched the game but it is pretty funny the uh the game was the game was 12 to 14 and then the next time Jayden Daniels got the ball it was 27 to 12. It was an ass whipping. It was beautiful. How was your ski trip? It was good. Yeah.

You're killing it on fucking Instagram or just the videos you're making are hilarious. Just throwing stuff at the wall. That video was so fucking funny. Which one? The skiing one. That one? Yeah. What was the one that I texted Which one? The skiing one. That one? Yeah. What was the one that I texted you about?

The mini bar. The mini bar one. That one was, I was in, Moog was pissed. Moog was not happy. I was playing video games with Moog last night and he was like, dude, he was like, I'm so mad at Francis. And I was like, why? And he was like, he was like, dude, he gives me shit for getting food

and then he eats an entire mini bar of food. He was like, he was like, dude, he gives me shit for getting food. And then he eats an entire mini bar of food. He was like, he was like, that's worse than what I do. And I was like, yeah, you do have a point. Hold on a minute. That mini bar had, you know, dried fruit and dark chocolate and sugar-free candy and granola. He's going out. Sugar-free candy. Dude, I've had, trust me, I've been down. Funyuns. I've been down that path. He's sugar free candy dude I've had trust me I've been down Funyuns

I've been down that path that sugar free candy it is I mean eating one of those bags of smart sweets or whatever they are that's the equivalent of eating like a whole bolognese pasta dish in terms of calories in terms of dude the carbs on those things fine but here's my point ready I eat my array of mini bar snacks. Mook eats his, we're both eating him in bed. The cleaning crew at his bedroom the next day is throwing the sheets out. It was like tiny holes where the acid burned through.

Yeah, it's just pure, like he's wiping his cholesterol fingers all over the fucking sheets. So, you know. But he probably got all the same amount of snacks, calorie-wise, as you did for 16th of the price. And this is exactly what I would say. I bought the snacks. The huge checking out was so funny.

My snacks were too much. Like, I did, I had the Patrick Mahomes salary of snacks to Mooc's salary of snacks. What was your total bill on snacks? How much did they- 113. 116 before tax. That's what it was. Unreal.

116 before tax. Unreal. I will say, get this. $100 in snacks. I'm not making any of this up. Dude, I could go puff like a 12 pack of Diet Coke. Yes, but you're thinking- And then enough snacks to feed me through the week for like 60 bucks.

You're thinking short term. You're thinking inside the box because I just got a DM earlier today from One Hotels. Hi, Francis, we loved your video and would love to send you some extra mini bar goodies. Heart emoji. If you're open to it, could you please share your full name and address?

That's good. So now you get some fucking dried apricots. That's where you're staying at the one hotel? I was staying at the one. That's a good hotel. And then. That's where we're gonna stay for the bowl. I also got hit up by a guy

who runs the beef jerky company. And he's gonna send me a package of all the beef jerky. I'm the founder, CEO of Think Jerky. Thank you for sharing your mini bar pick with our beef jerky. Have him send it to the office. Send it to the office. He's a big comedy fan.

He asked for my mailing address and then that Nana's granola bars also hit me up. So look, you never know. You missed it, that was a great zing. What'd you say? I said, why does he like you then? Oh boy. That's all you're going to give me? Oh boy. Oh boy. That was a great joke.

Clip it. You made the point. You were like, it's $160. It's worth it for if the video does well. That video blew the fuck up on every channel I have. Oh yeah, I did say that. TikTok, Instagram, and Twitter. But there's probably Costco families or Dollar Tree families who could go a month

and have family style meals on a cool $1.60. Yeah, probably. Not wrong, look. Too bad they have nowhere to evacuate to. I'm not judging you. I'll have the decadent dinner with the best of them. So many people commented, you could have gone to the store

and gotten that for 20 bucks. It's like, okay, here's the scenario I was in. I arrived at the hotel at 10.30. They told me that room service was available until midnight. I looked at the room service menu and it was like a beet salad, a hamburger, you know? And I thought, okay, well, that's going to take 40 minutes. Plus, I don't have any cash on hand right now to tip the room service guy, which I don't like

when that happens. When was the last time you got room service? Ages. They bring a check to the door now. You filled the tip in right there. Is that right? Yep. Yeah.

Okay. Well, that's good to know. I mean, that was definitely a deterrent. I thought, I don't want to embarrassingly have to be like, I don't have any cash and have him think I'm just lying. So I thought- You could have given him some of your weed. Or like a watch or something like that.

Yeah, give him the Rolex. True. I don't have a tip, so just take this. Yeah. Then the guy would be like, Hi, there's a guy in room 1237 who's gonna kill himself later tonight. We might want to bolt his window closed.

Put a trampoline under 267. He just tipped me $15,000 on a burger. He didn't say it, but he didn't have to. He's on his way out. Everything is ripped up by his minibar. Looks like he's trashing the room. I didn't, I don't like eating late. Yeah.

You know me on that? I don't like eating late. And I thought the 40 minutes that the room service would take versus eating the mini bar snacks at that moment would be enough. And it was also a thing where I wasn't planning to eat all of them. And lastly, I thought my Amex Fine Hotels and Resorts $100 resort fee credit, which I get from having the Platinum card, would apply to the mini bar. So I thought I would cover most of that with that.

That's why the next day at the checkout, I asked, I was like, does the food and beverage credit, does that apply? And she said, no. It's kind of bullshit that it doesn't. It's weird. I get it not applying to the booze. I didn't touch the booze.

I could understand that, but it should apply to the snacks. If I can apply it to the food in the restaurant, why wouldn't it apply to the booze. I didn't touch the booze. Yeah. I could understand that, but it should apply to the snacks. If I can apply it to the food in the restaurant, why wouldn't it apply to the minibar snacks? It would have been a funnier video. You should have honestly, at that point, you should have... You should have just pretended that you had the booze too. Because it would have been hilarious if you pulled up like seven just empty fucking nips. That would have been pretty dark. There was a lot of booze on the minibar.

They had like a bottle of Clasa Azul and like half bottles of everything. It was too much. Being an in-shape guy who overeats is also, that's a funny trope. If it was a fat brother that did it, they wouldn't have been as kind. People would have been like, get your fucking self together. Yeah, people get really angry about that. It is so mean of fat people. They're so nasty. It's weird to see some of the sort of like, truther comments.

Someone was like, how long did it take you to fix your hair to make it look like you just woke up? Oh yeah. And I'm like, I just woke up. Yeah. I took my night guard out, wiped my lips off, and filmed the video. Yeah. You can hear the rasp in my voice. Yeah.

How long did it take you to get your voice just right? Yeah, exactly. How many cigarettes did you have to smoke to get that early morning rasp? Just the weed pen, which led me to open every single snack. That's the best. Just the weed pen which led me to open every single snack. That's the best. Well, I had an interesting weekend as well. What happened?

Phoenix. How was it? It was fine. Did you fish? No, didn't do anything, just rotted. Did you get fast food maybe? No, I didn't have any fast food. What'd you eat?

I guess I had Dunkin Donuts Barely breakfast barely counts for new and I guess that's just that's like breathing. Yeah Stayed in the condo Much more depressing than I remember it being. Yeah, it's tough. So we're old folks home Oh really? It's an old folks home And when I was pulling up I parked my rental car and then I went up to the door, couldn't figure out how to get in because they have some updated security system where you need like another pin

just to get into the building. And I'm sitting there and three of the oldest women I've ever seen start approaching and they see me and they're like, he's an Uber Eats guy, should we let him in? And then I just had to take it. They let me in as I guess I'm an Uber Eats guy. Why did you defend yourself?

I just didn't have the energy, didn't feel like it. You just took their labeling. And then I took the red eye home. So I did, we had, the shows were actually pretty solid except for the Saturday late show was terrible. The shows were pretty good Saturday early show was like one of the best shows I've had in a while. But so I take the red eye and I knew it was going to be like I knew it wasn't going to

be the most ideal situation because it had a layover. But I was saying to Francis before we started recording, he was like, so I took a melatonin before the first flight, 1245, Phoenix to Chicago. Trying to knock out. Yeah, and I was like, this will be fine. I was like, because then I looked and it was like, I was like, I'm actually only going to have like 20 minutes to get to my gate. And then of course we ended up getting to Chicago

45 minutes early. And then I was saying it wasn't even like, it wasn't even like I was like tired. It was like I was in a state of shock when I got to Chicago. Just to be awake? Just stunned to be there. Dude, like I wake up,

everyone's already getting off the plane, you wake up, you got to spring into action immediately. And then I got off the plane and it was, I mean, it had to have been 20 degrees in the airport because it was empty. They just weren't running the heat. Damn. It was freezing. It felt the same way as the walkway, the tarmac or whatever. It was like the equivalent of like, if you were in the middle of a nice sleep and then someone was like Someone woke you up and they were like you have to go stand outside for an hour And it's 30 degrees outside. It was like that. I got into JFK on Saturday night at one in the morning. Yeah, and I was leaving the terminal and

Outside of security there were people in the terminal sleeping on the ground. Yeah. Oh, I had that too. Not homeless. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Where are they going? When is their flight? I don't know. Why are they there? I don't know. I had that exact same thing when I went to Phoenix. What's the deal there? What is the deal there? Are they, are they, do they have such an early flight that they just get to the airport and then sleep there so they don't have to worry about it? I think so. I've done that. I've done that in, uh, the first time I did Moon Tower, I went to Austin when I was flying out of Austin. My flight was at 5 a.m. and I went straight to the airport thinking I could just sleep in the airport and then the airport wasn't open. So I had to sleep like on the floor at like baggage claim. Is that where they were for you?

Yes, they were basically around baggage claim. So you can't stay, they clear out a lot of airports overnight, huh? I don't know. I mean, oh you mean like at gates? Like you can't be in the airport overnight. I don't know because when I got to Phoenix for my For my red-eye when I got to the airport to leave Phoenix There was people sleeping on the floor, but they were outside of TSA mm-hmm, and then I just went there was no line at TSA and I went and I got through and I was like Why are they all out there?

But I guess it's cuz like all of the restaurants and the stores and stuff on the inside are closed at that hour Yeah, I remember as a wee lad I read a book about a boy and his dad who lived at the airport, but this is obviously pre-9-eleven Yeah, but I guess homeless people could just post up at the airport if you just kind of looked put together enough. Hmm It's pretty crazy how they sleep though Like I saw I saw a couple dudes just banging out like the full like one of these like in between two chairs Like ass is fully in the air Like you're just doing a full ab workout

As you snore like you're being held up by your the back of your head and your the and your heels and then everything else Is in the air. Can you think? Just an insane way to sleep you think off the top of your head right now, the most uncomfortable in sort of off, non-ideal place that you've ever slept in your life? Yeah, right away, immediately. And you? Some are coming to mind, but I don't know the abject worst. Let's hear yours.

I did a sleepaway camp when I was probably in fifth grade or sixth grade maybe. And it was kind of like a traveling camp. Like we would, it was like we would go all around New England in like a van. And one of the stops we were at, we were at like a campsite and we slept in a, what is it called?

What a lean to, is that what it's called? Like a wooden thing. And my sleeping bag was like in the corner towards the end and it started pouring in the middle of the night. And I woke up and I was soaking wet. It's like two in the morning, sopping wet. There was a hole, like a crack in the lean-to right only on my corner.

All of my bags are wet. My sleeping bag is wet. I'm soaking wet and there's just nothing I could do. I just had to sleep soaking wet the whole night. Nasty. What's yours? One time I slept, I was in Normandy, like Brittany, France. And I had this kid who had been kind of like, I don't want to say a pen pal, we'd been emailing. And I'd been introduced to him by,

he was like the nephew of this, there was this French immersion school in Maine, near my house that I grew up at, where I used to go volunteer, because we needed volunteer community service hours in order to graduate from high school. Not because I was in trouble or anything like that. And so I'd gotten to know the director and he had a nephew

and he was like, why don't you guys both do an exchange? He'll come visit you. So I went to see him and he's this guy was awesome. Great kid. I was probably 17 and I went to his house and we went to a party at a house out in the country and it was a small stone house classic like Brittany Normandy type house and Everybody like the parents had left the house for the night and knew the kids were having a party

And that's what they would do and everyone would sleep there and everyone just like slept on the floor Yeah, this whole there were probably 35 people at this party. Everyone got super banged up and I went up to the attic where it was like creaky floorboards and I slept under the eaves of the attic on the hard floor. Face down or face up? Face up like Anne Frank. I mean, it was the worst. There was a pillow. Did you put anything under your head?

No. No pillow? No. Oh my God. I've had a couple of, I've had a couple of hardwoods. I felt like waking up, I felt like I was waking up from like a car accident. Like I didn't know how I'd gotten there,

why I was in so much pain. And I'd also taken a bong rip of loose leaf tobacco. Oh, that's never good. And I threw up from that. I threw up from that. Why are the French making the American brother do that? Because they had run out of hashish. Yeah, but why would you make it?

Why would you bong it? Because they had the bong. Oh my God. I remember my friends, we were were we hit a bong of tobacco and just everyone was just throwing up no you don't get fucked up like that it was i did oh yeah you get happily badly like you don't get like uh it's not like a party drug it's not like you're like smoking weed it is it is for about a half a second they had been doing it with with little bits of the hash in it,

and then they had run out, and they were like, just try it anyway. I mean, I wasn't even, I wasn't a tobacco guy ever, so that really- But that's the worst way to do it. Sent me to the moon. Yeah, that's so gross. Smoking tobacco out of a bong is just like-

That's the worst way to do it. It's only something you would do when you're in your teens, and when you get older, it's just something that in no way makes sense at all. It's just like a mad libs of like kind of dirty, fucked up words. I mean, if I were to do it again and I had to do it again, I would just sip it out of the bong, just a little.

But no, like there's literally not a single reason as to why someone should do a bong hit of tobacco. Certainly not clear it. No, no. You shouldn't be clearing the bong. No, no. Just little tiny sips, like you're sipping a tequila instead of taking the shot.

Going lights out on a tobacco hit of a bong. Yeah, that was the worst for me, I'm pretty sure. I think I was at Bonnaroo, and I was just, I think I was mangled off of some bad things, and just trying to go to sleep in the back of a car, and there not being enough space. So you go into a tent and then just laying in a tent and it's like 103 degrees out at

like four or five in the morning, just being super hung over. And it's just, you're sweating. You wake up just drenched in sweat. Right away, right away. That's the worst to me. Of all three of our stories. That was nasty. Simply by regard of the heat.

The heat is so bad. Sleeping in heat is beyond belief. We had some rough ones in, even when we went to Wyoming over the summer, there were some rough sleeps, but it's also, I feel like it doesn't really count as much because you're expecting it. Like when you're going on a week campaign trip,

you're like, yeah, I'm not gonna get, this isn't gonna be like a great sleep every night. Right. But we had the first night we were there was 98 degrees. And we were it was in a we're in a desert in a canyon. And we got in like, it was hot all day. And it was kind of like whatever. And then we got in the tent. And we never really like thought about how hot the tent would be and we got in there and like within three minutes everyone was outside. It is 200 degrees. It's so hot and tense, which I guess is good if you're in a cold scenario. Yeah, yeah.

It ended up being helpful later in the week, but we we cowboy camped that night. We just slept on the ground outside. But again, we're in a desert in a can and there's a canyon. It was the wind was like 50 miles per hour. So you'd be sleeping and then just like a gust of like the most strongest wind and there's like sand flying everywhere. Just buffeting and flapping. Yeah. So that one was bad. And then we had another one later in the trip where it was like 15 degrees outside and we were sleeping next to a river. And that was one where like, I remember waking up in the morning.

It was one of those ones where you wake up in the morning and you haven't moved an inch from the position that you went to sleep in. And you wake up and you're like, dude, like you're, I remember everything was wet because of the condensation, because it was so cold, but our body temperature's just like, oh, it was nasty. That was a pretty bad one. I need to just throw this out there really quick.

If anyone out there happens to be a real estate attorney, or knows how to turn a personal home into an LLC as a potential rental opportunity, please DM me. All right. Any tax fraud you wanna commit? Need some help on that. Need some help on that. I'm gonna be in Toronto this weekend for five shows.

And then I'm gonna be in Boston in February. That was probably sell out, hopefully. We'll see. I'll be in Washington, D.C., February 6th to the 8th, and then Providence in April. I'll be in Washington with fights, actually. These are my first headlining weekends back in a long time. I have a lot of new material I'm excited about. It's good shit.

Thank you. Punchup.live slash Francis Ellis. Harry. Harry. Harry said a website dot com slash tour. And just go watch the birds in the Super Bowl for me. At least you could do for me. Cool. Good app, guys. Fun stuff.

Hey. And again, dude, I'm sorry about saying that people like don't live close to their family. All good. All good. All good. Go birds What can't throw that in at the end of the episode no it was nice go birds He was throw fucking you with it was so funny okay which one I don't remember what it was I just remember just mention having your family live near oh yeah yeah yeah that's so there was one point of that where I was laughing so hard I'm sorry. Still underground So, I looked older

Till you came around And I was only falling one way And I was only falling one way Days were drifting Fool, fool as I Son, so then you listen Now I come alive I was only falling my way

I was only falling my way I was only falling one way I was only falling one way Vanished to your eyes Did you realize No one could take me alive I was only falling one way See it just a distant light Pain if I don't have a right

Call it just a moment I was only falling one way See it just a distant light, feel it fast forever bright Call it just a memory, take my hand and you can see I'm Oh Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, You're the one who could take me alive