1625 - Janine is a Submissive, Sissy Crossdresser Who Hooks Up With Guys Behind His Wife’s Back
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00:53 BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. Welcome to the Strictly. Anonymous Podcast, strictly anonymous podcast, conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. The Craigslist is definitely like the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Singapore or Thailand. You can't not do it.
01:17 The temptation is just too much. Is real problems. Do your friend know that you're banging her or no? No, he has no idea. And anything goes. Motto of the show, let your freak flag fly. Probably the only good advice I'll ever give you is to rehide your whips and change. Here is your host, Kathy.
01:33 Hey, welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast with Kathy. If you haven't followed the Strictly Anonymous podcast on Instagram or Twitter, follow me at Strict Anonymous. If you want to be on the show, it's called Strictly Anonymous because I keep everyone anonymous. I change people's voices. You can email me from a phony email, call me from a phony number. I just want to hear your true story. And since this is a Fetish Friday episode, I love to hear your story about your unique fetish.
02:00 Whatever you're into, if you got a fetish, you could be on the show. And if you have a pantyhose fetish or a cross-dressing fetish and you call in, I will give you free access to my Patreon. Now, on my Patreon, I have two tiers, one for cross-dressers and one for hosers. Those are guys who like panty-hose. On those tiers, you get every single episode, early ad-free plus intro-free. Also, you get all the picks, anonymous picks of all of my guests. Plus, you get exclusive content over And since I've been doing this for many, many years over on Patreon, there's so much exclusive pantyhose, fetish episodes and cross-dressing episodes that are only available on Patreon. The hoser tier is $8 a month.
02:45 The cross-dressing tier is $10 a month because cross-dresses also get the hoser episodes as well. But if you call into my show, you're going to get a whole year free. So if you want to call into the show, because you have a fetish that you want to talk about, send me an email, strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com, or go to my website, strictly anonymous podcast.com and click on being the show. I do have a book out. It's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secrets Exiles of Total Strangers. It's available on Amazon, an e-book, and audiobook and paperback, but it is now available for an audiobook, too. You could purchase that my book by going into the description.
03:29 And clicking on the link. Okay, I have a really great episode for you today. Janine is on. Janine said some pretty fucking profound things. In the beginning when he's telling his story, his whole story is super interesting. I think Janine says that like if she was born now days instead of like so many years ago, she probably would have transitioned. She's a cross-dresser who's like a cissy and a submissive.
03:55 She's always been in touch with her female. she's always battled between her female self and her guy self. And she talks about that battle. She talks about when it started that she started dressing up. She talks about how there was always this other side of her. She talks about the guy side of her versus, like I said, the female side of her. She talks about how when she went into the military, how things changed. Her whole story is like super interesting because eventually she got married. And then in the beginning she didn't say anything to her wife, but then eventually she copped to the fact that she was into all the things because she fully dresses and then she's very kinky and into like a lot of
04:33 sissy submissive stuff and she does hook up with guys she didn't tell her wife all of that but her wife did find out about the cross-dressing she told her and she talks about how the wife reacted how they engage when it comes to that side of herself if i'm saying himself by accident herself jenine does live a little bit of a secret life because jeanine is very much so hooking up with guys uh behind his wife's back and he explains why he does it, why he doesn't feel that bad about it, and what's going on there. It's such a super interesting episode. So, and like I said, she says so many profound things. And she's just really good at actually telling her story too. I barely have to say a fucking word. So you're going to enjoy this one. I have great pictures of Janine over on my Patreon. You can see them over there, the cross-dussing tier. But anyway, I'm going to get right to and be right back out with Janine. This is the strictly anonymous podcast.
05:31 Strictly anonymous podcast. Hey, Janine, welcome to the strictly anonymous podcast. How are you today? I'm good. I'm good. And you? Good. So listen,
05:41 you're calling from very far away, right? But you got a very typical, well, not a typical story. I mean, you've got a lot going on here. I'm like, you know, we're going to definitely start, you consider yourself like a sissy sub cross-dresser. Would that be like the correct term? Or like, what would you call yourself in like one, you know? a couple of words. Yeah, I mean, you pretty much nailed it there. I mean, I love the genuine
06:04 feminine side of everything as well, but then obviously when it comes to Kink, yeah, I'm very much into the, the, this issue side of life, definitely on the submissive side. And then, you know, anything that goes along that way and pushes it further down the rabbit hole. Yeah, because one thing leads to another and a lot of time that all goes together, right? I mean, not always does every cross-dresser sort of go down that path, but when they do and they tend to be a sub or a sissy, like, they tend to all get into, like, you know, certain, the same sort of things sometimes, you know, but the reason why I'll talk to a million submissive sissy crushes, is because I'm always going to hear a very unique story from each person, right? So let's get your
06:46 story, Janine, the snapshot of where you're at now first. Like, are you a married, are you single? I think you're married, right? Yeah, so I'm married. I took children on, so I've got stepchildren. How long have you been married for, Janine? Around about 11, 12 years. Okay, never had any kids with her, but you have kids, she came in with kids. So you have, like, stepchildren. Yes. Okay, cool.
07:10 And we will get to the point where you meet her and find out whether she knows or not. I think I might know the answer, but we'll reveal that as the story goes on, right? Okay, let's start with, like, when you started cross-dressing. I'm assuming that's, like, the first thing that showed up for you? So I've got memories from when I was a child which my mum had caught me trying on a set of shoes It was my grandmothers at the time Shoal! Yeah, so I think the first item I ever put on
07:40 was actually a set of heels And it was only like a two, two and a half inch heel It wasn't anything massive but I mean I'm sure as you understand When you step into a set of heels you feel your legs change You know your butt and everything's differently shaped But you know guys and boys don't tend to have that So it was like a really a different experience if that makes sense.
07:58 For me, at that age, I didn't know that that's how things made you feel like a woman. I just knew it was a sensation that I liked. I didn't really understand it as a gender thing. I just knew that I like this. And then, you know, as I'd grown up or had gone through life, there'd been bits and pieces as I was younger, and I'd tried bits.
08:16 I'd nicked a couple of bits, you know, tights or panty-hose for yourselves over the pond there. And, you know, tried them, liked a bit more, liked a bit more, but it was never a lot and a lot and a lot until kind of, Late teens when I was, well, mid to late teens, I'd moved out, I'd joined the military, I was hiding, but I was buying more and hiding and buying more. What were you buying?
08:37 All sorts. I mean, I got a fixation at one point on like your Chinese-style Mandarin dresses, but I could never get them to fit me properly because if I got it to fit in the body, it wasn't long enough. If I got it long enough, it was too baggy. And even if I got those two, right, my shoulders didn't fit in it because, you know, there's no giving them dresses. Right. So I'd spent ages buying these. things just to get sizes right because I didn't know how to size myself or anything like that.
09:01 I buy lots of clothes in lots of different sizes. So I might have bought a t-shirt in four different sizes to try and find which one fits. But you're wearing, but you're talking about when you're buying and buying stuff, you're buying female clothing, correct? Yeah. So I didn't really pay much attention. I was never the style guru, even as, you know, normal male self. I didn't really associate with the boys much. I wasn't kind of that alpha-egotistical young, male. I did get on with the girls better, but a lot of the girls find it weird that a boy would get on with them, especially that age. I mean, I'm mid-40, so we're talking this is, you know, the 90s kind of school period to early 2000s, which was, you know, late teens.
09:42 Okay. And it was a bit, it was often a bit weird for this boy to be hanging around with the girls. You know, it didn't feel right to be hanging around with the lads. I didn't like the, you know, the egotistical banter they were all having that kind of thing. So it kind of left me in this little world of my own and I'd just quite happily go off and especially like I say when I joined the military it was it then became not just something that I was enjoying it became a sneaky thing it became a kink of something to hide but that brought like adventure to it brought excitement to it you know it was there's nobody else around I can get a quick 10 minutes and get changed and then hear footsteps and have to quickly get changed again yeah and that always leads to you getting like
10:20 you know super into it because you're getting like a little bit of an adrenaline rush every time and then you want it again, you know, and then the more you feed that, then it develops into something that is like something that you're totally down for. Like you, it's like you build that wiring for sure, something like that specifically. Yeah. But I also built it as almost two separate personalities. Yeah, interesting. So, explain. There was male, like my normal male self had no interest at all in anything but what your normal lads would want to do. So I wanted to go out, wanted to grab a couple of drinks, meet a couple of girls, you know, that kind of thing throughout. But as soon as I was back on my own, my kind of female presented self ruptured through,
11:08 and it was almost a primal need to kind of satisfy that, if that makes sense. Yeah. And I didn't, there was not, I couldn't find anything to scratch the it. I was buying more, I feel guilty about it from time to time and, you know, been everything, took everything out, You know, I'm sure you can understand as a woman if you suddenly emptied your closet one day, oh, it's heart-wrenching. But there's such a feeling of, I mean, there'll be a lot of cross-dresses and trans that go through the same way. Oh, yeah. They end up with such a feeling of guilt. And then they get rid of everything and go, right, I'm going to go back to normal.
11:42 And then they look at the pile in the bin or, you know, this amount of money they've sold it all for. And they go, that wasn't worth it. Right. You know, and it's literally that half of you is now completely bare and naked. It doesn't have anything. So when I say about purging for maybe yourself, you might have a wardrobe clear out, but you literally won't leave yourself with nothing. But the thing is, that's what it's like for us.
12:08 It's literally that part of you has been left with nothing, and you try and put it back in a box, and it doesn't work, and it gets to a point you start buying more. You know, and I could see what I wanted everywhere. You know, when you're walking around, when you're seeing other people, you'd see women walking down the street. And some men would be like, oh, you know, she's good looking or she's this, she's hot, she's, you know, I'd do this, I do that with her.
12:30 I'm not, I was looking going, she's paired that dress with them shoes really well. That's a nice combination there. That looks really good. That looks like it would be, it would feel nice. And you can't, you know, I couldn't get away from that at all. It was, it was every time you, wherever you are, you know, you're never isolated with just males. Of course. It's all around.
12:49 Yeah. Especially more so. for women's stuff, you know what I mean? You see that more than guy's stuff. I mean, that was, you know, you go into shopping mall or something like that. You know, you might see our men's shop, but there's 20 or 30 women's clothes shops. But then there's lots of women in clothes that aren't in that shop, which is even more to kind of push you into. Right.
13:13 Yeah. Or get you upset. Because this is all your, this is like in your mind all the time and it's all around you. Yeah. So you'd end up, I don't end up looking. at something. I mean, this is pre-all, most of your selling stuff from Facebook marketplace. You know, eBay was the place to go. So a lot of times I was on eBay and buying stuff and you'd wait for days for it to turn up. You have to sneak the parcel in and open it up,
13:36 sneak time to try it on. It might be two days before you got an opportunity to try it on, and it was all like driving the excitement, which made it more exciting if that makes. Of course. Makes sense. Yeah. You know, but again, no matter how much I did this or didn't do this I got rid of this, nothing scratched the itch of completion. And I started to wonder about sexuality, which I have to be really careful at that time, because the male side of me was quite clear on what he was. Isn't that interesting that you could, you, I love that you could really sort of see both sides of yourself and be detached from it and sort of analyze it.
14:11 You know what I'm saying? Yeah. I mean, I've done that my whole whole. Yeah, but it's good. Some people, I do it with myself, and there's only one part of me, that I could kind of get, but I, but that's being very self-aware. You know what I mean? You have two sides to tend to, but you can look back and, and see them. And I think that that's great. But anyway, yeah, yeah, go on. So, and I was looking at, I was going, well, well, well, male me
14:33 doesn't want anything, but that male me wants to try and be normal. Mail me wants to exist where everybody else does, but female me wants to exist. And that was like a key, a key thing, because it would mean one kind of took over the other or a lifelong struggle. struggle. Dastly, I decided on the struggle for some reason. Yeah, but I mean, it's so profound, but what you're saying, and it's so deep, and it's like that you have those two things there, and that one side couldn't be denied, you know what I mean? So you had to choose the struggle, because both existed, like you said. They were, I mean, had it been modern day times, so, I mean, you look at those that are going through that kind of journey now that are like 19 and 20, they're. they don't have to struggle.
15:20 Right. It's much more, they can pick one and go for it. And yes, there's pros and cons to both ways. You know, sometimes you still get, you know, if they go down, say, like the Femboy thing or they go down straight down to trans, you know, I think users are the same as us where there's differences to do with bathrooms going on and changes of law going on. So there are still problems, but they don't have to have necessarily a struggle.
15:43 They make a choice and it's clear, but I'm of the generation before then when, I mean, especially in the UK military, being homosexual had only just kind of been allowed. Yeah, crazy. Of course. Yeah, but it still wasn't really accepted. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Even though it was allowed.
15:59 So that was like a, for 99% of the people that I was around, this was way, way over a step too far. So that struggle was like, I know half of me wants that and won't let me not want it. But then I have to live this other half in front of everybody else. Yeah. But I started looking more into it. So, you know, I know you mentioned Craig. just a little bit. Craiglis has never been a big thing over here. So when it came to the trans things, there was a site called birchplace.com, which used to have a store attached to it. I'll come back
16:28 to that in a second. But the main one for chatting and socialising was one called TV Chicks. That's still going. Okay. And there's a whole story about the founder of that. She passed a few years ago, but she had a huge chain of stores, which was supplies, but also they did something called a changeaway where you could go there, you could buy an outfit, but they also did your makeup and all that kind of thing and did makeovers. Weirdly, though, she used to advertise these changeaways in, if I say a lads mag, I don't know if you know what I mean, you've got things like,
16:59 you had magazines called FHM and Loaded, which was, they were full of pretty girls and bikinis and stories that, you know, young lads would want to read, that kind of thing. And they advertised this transgender, transvestite changeaway thing in that magazine. And I remember picking up one of these that my brother was reading. And for some reason, I ignored the rest of the magazine. A young lad should have really revolutionized, should have really wanted the rest of that magazine.
17:26 And I'd gone straight to this advert. Yeah. And I was like, do you know what? That's something I would want. Why can't I be pretty? Why can't I walk around like I'd want to? Why can't I enjoy a nice breeze on a summer's day? You know, summer's dress on, maxi dress on, nice breeze,
17:41 open-toed sandals, that kind of thing. I was like, why can't I? And sadly, she passed before I managed to get to these stores when they were doing this. But it always rang in the back of my head that I wanted that. Mm-hmm. Okay, listen up, everyone. Are you turned on by what you hear?
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19:41 Concerned about your gambling or that is someone close to you. Call 1866-531-2600 to visit connectsontario.ca. But then I started using that Birchplace site, and they've got a store attached to it, which was, I think they do a lot more variance now, but it was aimed at cissies. Right. Purely, you know, it was, if you see somebody online and they're in a satin, made, stroke, city dress, and it's really, it looks like it's the top quality of version. It probably came from their suppliers. You know, this was the creme de la creme of cissyware. Yeah.
20:12 You know, and I browsed that site and immediately went, wow. just, you know, for me it was like all the petticoats, the ruffles, the frills, the satins, the way it was cut, the way it was this, that, the other, I wanted one. I couldn't afford one, they were a lot of money, but I wanted one. I wanted to get into that. I wanted to experience it. And I was trying everything. I was ordering cheap and nasty ones just to try and see what it felt like. You know, I mean, obviously they're not as good as a quality one, and quite often they broke the first time you wear them. But I was ordering these things. And then once I'd
20:47 had, I tried a few, they said that there was still that itch that couldn't be scratched. I was still looking at sexuality where I wanted to go. And I'd spoken to somebody on one of these sites and they said, well, look, you're not far from us. We're going to a specific club for trans girls and their admirers. But I'm a dom and I'm only going to take subs with me. Have you got something that would be appropriate? And I didn't really know what I was talking about, to be honest.
21:15 Yeah, yeah, right. You haven't mentioned that. so this is where the side of you comes in. Yeah, and I was like, well, I don't really know. I said, I've got a maid's dress. It's not very good. You know, it had a built-in petticoat with like one layer, nothing extravagant, and it had an apron with it.
21:30 I said, but other than that, I don't know. Well, just bring that. That'd be fine. I didn't even have an appropriate bag. I kind of bundled it up in a jacket and threw in the car, drove over there, you know, didn't have any makeup, didn't have a wig, none of these things. And I think I met them at their house,
21:46 and they were about maybe 10, mile away from the club and they put this blonde uh you know like marilyn monroe wig on and uh just plonked it on me no makeup i must have looked an absolute mess but went went to this club and they were like you know if if i was spoken to him from reply they kind of lifted up the back of my skirt and you know tap my ass for the riding crop things like that and i thought you know i do like this and i don't i wasn't comfortable with who and how but i got the gist of it and I was like, I like this. This is, this is scratching that itch. Right. And what was that it? More for that one side of you, the Janine side of you? Meaning like it was, it was satisfying
22:29 that part of you? It was. It was like, I mean, I needed more, but it was like I was in the right, I was in the right kind of ballpark. Yeah, yeah, interesting. Okay, cool. So I went there that night and then I got invited back about a month later. And, you know, I was like, I can't wear my way. my maid's dress again. One, you know, I'd had a little slip in it, if we say, I'd got a little bit excited. But two, people had already seen me in that. It was like, you know, I was feeling that feminine thing about, you can't wear the same dress to the same club to next, you know, kind of thing. Yeah. Yeah. So I was like, I need something different to wear. And eBay hadn't turned up everything I'd got was like going to be older stuff. I had it a while. I was like,
23:09 I need to throw something together. And I literally just threw a little black dress on with it, had a like a waist belt on it, but it was a very Y2K 90s thing. If you remember that you had them black, stretchy ones from Miss 60 kind of thing. Of course, yeah. I love Miss 60s, yeah. Yeah, so there's me rocking one of them. I didn't have any shoes. And I was like, do know what? Right, okay, there's a charity shop down the road, a thrift store, as you call them, I think, I'll just nip in there. I see if it's any. And luckily, I was quite a small guy.
23:35 I was, you know, I was quite short for a guy. I had smaller feet than most guys. I nipped in there, and I didn't know, I didn't know anything about the brand, but I came out with a set of five-inch heel pleaser ankle boots. Now, pleaser is the brand that obviously is associated with BDSM quite... Yeah, I feel like I've heard of them before for some reason. Yeah, so strippers and bondage clothing is kind of where they angle themselves. But I didn't know that. So there's me in this little back dress, five-inch stiletto heels, you know, pointed toe ankle boots.
24:09 It's a suggestive look at the... me at least. But I went back to this club and we're stood in this club and they've got various rooms. You can have a drinking one. There's a bar in one. There's a playroom. There's a dungeon. And they've got what was called the dark room. And it was
24:25 the community just accepted me. I turned up on my own, not known anybody. The community just accepted me. There was other trans girls. One of them took my hand. They went, come on let's get you some makeup done. She did makeup and this, that. Somebody stuck a wig on me, style that, you know, a bit of jewelry. But throughout the night, they led us into what was called a dark room, which literally,
24:40 there's a cover over the door, pitch black, mattress in the middle. You can kind of get what the room's based on. Yeah. And to be fair, yeah, hands went roaming. I wasn't sure whether I was comfortable or not. There was definitely, you know, two or three people's hands having an explore wherever they kind of wished to go. But again, that scratch, that itch, it was like, I need more,
25:05 but this is what I want. So I decided I'll go back for dating. I'll have a look at dating. Let's just see what a man thinks of me. And I met this guy who was, oh, he was lovely. He was an absolute gentleman. He arranged for me to go to his house, to meet up with him, you know, supposed to be for the weekend, but I didn't know how long at the time. He encouraged me to dress, but also dress on kind of halfway there kind of thing. What does that mean halfway there? So I couldn't leave where I was living.
25:34 Oh, oh, you mean literally halfway there. Okay. Go on. Okay, yeah, yeah. It was all rural kind of area. So it was like, well, just pull up. over and there's an area there you can pull over and obviously you just get changed and you can drive here so I did that and obviously there's me worried about everything properly nervous I went in we had a good chart he he properly took me like his girl which was amazing and I think that was like the final kind of click of that itch needing to be scratched right and he said I said well do you have sex with guys and I was like well I haven't I don't really and he just whacked it whacked himself out and he said I want you to to to start getting used to it
26:10 And I've just stood there looking. This is, I mean, I've seen bigger black cock since. Yeah. I have never seen a bigger white cock than head. So the first, the first. They have something called BWC, by the way, big white cock. There's not just BBC. There's BWC.
26:26 That's what that was. Yeah. Well, I mean, the first cock I'm going to touch is huge. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my God. You know, but I mean, again, something clicked inside me and I went, I want this. And it was the feminine side of me.
26:40 going, yep, want this, want this, get it. So for some reason, there was no more hesitation. I kind of started playing with him, you know, joking him off a little bit. And then he just looked at me. And while he's looking at me, I just, it was like I was a step back to myself, just found myself kind of moving forward and taking his cock in my mouth and beginning to suck him off. And absolutely loving what I was doing, you know.
27:03 Yeah. But I've been, you know, we've been sucking him off for half an hour, something like that, you know, trying to kind of impress, trying to, trying to deep throat, this, that, the other. I mean, failing miserable at it, but I made the attempt. But when I was trying to get on him and, you know, take it further, because inside me was going, you're going to fuck this and you need to let him have you and you need to be his girl. Every time I tried, he would kind of pass it off and, you know, move me aside. It was supposed to be for the weekend and it turned out to be an hour, maybe two.
27:36 because as soon as he'd come, he was ushering me out the door. Posting our clarity. Yeah. So I'd met him a few times, and then I found out he was actually married. And in one way, it really put me off. I was like, I didn't want to be doing that. I didn't want to be in that situation. I didn't kind of meet him for another couple of years.
27:54 I mean, we met once a couple of years down the line, but that was a slightly different. But it kind of put me off a little bit. So I'd been kind of still single, still trying to work out what I was doing. but I started hitting these sites and meeting guys and this, that, the other, and then got to a point where I kind of meet the now wife, and this is a lot later in life. I mean, I didn't meet her until I was nearly 30. Okay.
28:17 You know, I didn't want my own children, but absolutely took to her stepchildren, you know, I love them a bit. They are central to my world, you know what I mean? That's absolutely adore them. But I didn't tell the wife or the now wife. I kept it to myself. we were together for a couple of years, split up for a while,
28:37 and when we got back together, I said, look, I'm going to level with this. And it was a case of, look, if we're going to get back together, if we're going to do this properly, I'm going to be honest with you. You know, I open my wardrobes, and I said, oh, this is mine.
28:49 I live in Olderigo. I am. Oh, my God. Trans. But this is all going in the bin. I have, you know, a roll of bin bags or garbage bags, as you say,
29:00 half of it's already bagged up. and she didn't believe me she was like i don't believe you i don't believe these are yours who's been you know because i've been my house while we were split she was like who's been coming out of your house and says no no they're mine look at the sizes it's my shoe size i don't believe you i don't believe it so she pulled a set of knee boots which had like an inch platform but a six inch heel so and she said well go on and put them on show me you can walk them so i did you know walking around for the evening in these in these knee high boots with a really really high heel on them and stuff and then she was like well what are you aiming to do i said i'm going to bit them so she
29:32 helped me bag everything up and bin stuff. Wow. So I thought that was that. That was it. That was that gone. I'm making a commitment here. This needs to be end of the internal argument. Gets to a couple of three years down the line.
29:46 She never questions you any further. I mean, that's just the end of it. Like put it in the bins and let's go on. Nope. Okay. Yeah. So it gets to a couple of three years down the line.
29:55 And, you know, we've been having sex just as a married couple, as you do. nothing like i mean it was sex that we enjoyed but there was nothing there'd be nothing worthy of your show in that way yeah but then she comes up to me one day and she she takes her brow off and hands it to me and she just said if you wanted to go back to this you can you know oh wow i said what do you mean she goes if you really want this you can you can do it and i looked up at her and i said if you open that door i can't shut it that's not something i can close myself off from again it's
30:30 been difficult enough. I mean, I don't think I really did. Inside my own head, I think the argument still continued. I still noticed what people got women were wearing, how they looked, how things, you know, imagined how things must have feel. Them shoes were nice. I wonder how they, them stockings look great. I love them. That underwear, you know, and it's not just that underwear looks good, but like suspender belts. I mean, an eight strap suspender belt rather than the four strap suspender belt. It's very much a different sensation kind of thing. So I'm kind of trying to think, but I never let it out, I never did anything about it until she, like I say, she's saying, well, if you want to put this on, let yourself out, you know, you can do.
31:04 So as she's taking her underwear off, I've kind of put it on. We've had probably the best sex we had in years. You know, I mean, we were kind of going for a couple of hours, and we did that three or four times, and then I was like, well, I'm going to buy more. I'm a different size to you. It was nice that you're willing to share, but I'm a different size. I'm going to buy my own. Yeah.
31:26 You know, I like pink. I'm obsessed with pink. absolutely love it. The girl you're something is, the more I'm going to be obsessed with it. She isn't. She is very much functional. Yeah. There's no, I mean, she is quite plain in every sense of the word. And I don't mean to pull her down, but that's quite simply what it is. I like, I don't love pink. Like, I like, like, plainer colors and stuff. You know what I mean? It doesn't mean anything. I know that vibe. Yeah. But the thing is not, I mean, I'd spent a lot of years trying to give her her own self-confidence. I tried to say, oh, she has, how she is, it's not from,
31:57 I thought you just met her style was plain. No, no, I mean, everything is just quite... Oh, I get it. But her style as well, you know, it was like she had a couple of... of... The t-shirt brasas, as we know them, your smooth ones, that was like for everything. Yeah, yeah.
32:14 And it was like, well, I'm just going to wear this. Well, that's just a chuck-on t-shirt and black leggings. Where's your style? Where's your personality and what you wear? You know, she'd never done any of them things. The amount of times I'd try to encourage you in this, you know, trying to be the dutiful husband and not body shame somebody, but encouraging.
32:29 them to do what you can see they want, but they're just not doing. Of course. But it got to a point, and I was like, well, I want my own stuff. I want to let me out. You've said I can be, and I've opened that door, I want to let me out. So, you know, I hit big time, you know, vintage for second-hand purchases, things like that. I hit it big time. And within about two or three months, I've got, you know, double wardrobe overflowing.
32:51 I've got chested trot overflowing with lingerie. I've got about 30 pairs of shoes. I've got more handbags than she's ever had. you know and then she started to get disgruntled with that and it was like well what else am i supposed to do she goes well i thought it was just going to be bedroom but you're wearing it for work you're wearing it every day can't remember the last time you put a set of boxer shorts or i was like yeah i want me to be out i want me to be free i want to beat me and it just got into
33:14 it created a rift and a separation where there was just in the end there was just no interest it was like uh you know if she was in the mood she'd be like oh it's been know what I love and I've been looking at it going, I just don't want to do that. I don't want to do that. Yeah, I just didn't want to partake. It was, sex had become five minutes in missionary and can't get it done quicker to get it over with. You know, because she didn't want that other half of me, or that's the way she was seeming. You know, me, me letting myself out became, it almost looked like it became a turn off for her. And I was like, I'm not going to force you into anything. I'm not going to make you do anything, but you're not going to stop me.
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38:12 So there was me lots of outfits, lots of things that I love. And I've started working away more with work. So I'd go away for a couple of weeks of time, but that couple of weeks could be repeat ones. So I could be away for three months sometimes in two week stages. Back on the site, a big one called Fab Swingers over here, which I know I had some good and bad press, but if you get used to using it, you know, it's one of them things. And I was on there, and I was getting bombarded with compliments. Absolutely.
38:41 I mean, I think within the first 24 hours of me point a picture up, I had like 400 messages. Wow. But everyone goes, oh, but. guys are really easy. You can pick up guys whenever you want, but I found myself being really picky. I was like, well, I don't have to take the guy that sent me a picture of his three-inch dick. That's not my flavor. You know, but you'd get guys that would just say, hi, I'm close, want to fuck. No, no, I don't. And I found myself getting really picky, but I also found I could be really picky. But I was working away, I couldn't wait to get away because I would
39:16 spend the entire time at work. I mean, I was doing a job. that meant I was in customers' houses all the time. I was going house to house, doing work in there. And I would be in full shapewear. I'd be in, I'd managed to get hold of some proper women's uniform for the company. I'd be in that. I'd have makeup on, I'd have hip-shaping pads. I'd have my breast-in.
39:38 I'd be in lingerie. I was living my female self while I was away with them two weeks. And I was meeting up with guys as well. So I was going on these sites and they were saying, yeah, yeah, well, I'll meet up with you tonight. sent you that I'd done a few stints at car sex, you know, giving blow jobs in cars. I've been to houses and had a few nights. I'd had some good experiences and bad experiences.
39:58 Some men are really horrible when they think they've got a chance at something. Some men are real gentlemen. But then COVID hit. And during COVID only, I don't know what's like over a few years, but for us, there was only certain people in certain jobs that could be moving around the country and stopping in hotels. I was one of them, one of them trades. that was allowed to move around.
40:21 But nobody was really meeting. But I was on there, and this guy messaged me, and he was on another one of the trades that's allowed to move around. And he was like, well, I'm really, really horny. And I was like, okay, there's not much else to do at the moment. Nothing's open, finish work, go back to a hotel. I could be good for this. And he was like, well, I really want to fuck you.
40:44 And now, this is the first time you're going to cheat on your wife? No, like you said, had been meeting guys. kind of quick bits here, quick bits there. I'd always felt really guilty about it, but in my back of my head, it was kind of justified as going, I gave you the opportunity to have me, and what you want to do is put me in a box.
41:03 Yeah, I get it. Okay, so go back to this guy. It's okay, go on. But this guy said, oh, I said, well, I really want to meet you this, that, and the other, and he was supposed to turn up and pick me up, but he didn't turn up. He kind of ghosted me,
41:14 so I sent him a bit of a bitty message. I was like, you've just had a wank. but he came back about an hour later is so apologetic this at the other I was like well I'm not really believing you you're another one that's just kind of says it and not do it
41:25 but the next night he said look I'm buying your dinner I'm going to look after it I'm going to be a gent I'm going to be picking you up but I don't want to see you as male I want you walking out of the hotel I want you
41:36 you know ready to be picked up and I want you girlie from the second I see you I don't want to see you as male now I'd never done that never walked out of where people that knew me were you know, like colleagues were in that hotel as well.
41:49 So I'd never done that so close to riskiness. Yeah. But obviously it was COVID. A lot of people had gone to bed and I was like, do you know what? Sodd it, I'd put another little black dress on, but a little leather number. You know, again, I was in sky high heels. I'd painted my nails. I'd made an attempt at makeup.
42:05 I'd undergift it was brilliant. And to be honest, I just teetered out of that place straight past the receptionist, straight out the door. And I've stood at the side of the road. And I was looking at my watch and I was like, he's late. and he knows he's late. And he was purposely 15 minutes late. Now, well, you just left me stood outside this hotel
42:22 looking like, you know, looking like a hooker at the side of the road. But I was, I mean, I think the reason why I was so persistent on I was going to go ahead with this is the guy was black and the pictures of his cock was huge. And I'd spent years wondering about this big black cock thing. So he took me back to his house. Again, he was a real deal. sentiment, absolutely lovely. You know, Tret me as his girl properly with,
42:50 I suppose it was me experiencing you, the other side of a girlfriend experience, if that makes sense. And it was lovely, but then he said, oh, I said, well, you know, I'm going to go and kind of get changes, and it comes back into the front room, gets his dick out, and just lets it flop on the table. And when I say, hit the table with a thud, I am not joking. Oh, my God. And I'm like, am I even going to fit this in? But, I mean, I've been pre-plugged. I'd prepped myself to kind of expand, but I didn't think I was going to have to prep for that. But then he said, I said, I've got some proper stuff.
43:21 I don't know what it is he used, but he said this lube's brilliant, blah, blah, blah. He slips it in and there was no resistance from me. It was like my body just went, I want this so much getting me. And he just went to town. He literally railed me for hours. And I loved every single minute of it. I was there all night. He dropped me back off at the hotel just before the early hours.
43:43 But again, I'd not had to, I'd not taken anything male with me, so I had to take it back into the hotel, hoping my colleagues weren't making an early start. Oh my God. You know, but it was like, it was like that after-sex feeling, you know, I was kind of, I felt like I was still gaping after him. You know, it was, like, empty now going home, and it was like, oh, my God, I want that again. So it kind of, I then slipped into the, you know, being a size queen and the BBC betas, as they kind of say. And I've carried on like that. I'd had quite a few meetups this, that you're there. I'd let myself be caught while I was working in people's house
44:16 and fucked a few customers. So I had some really pinkfully rumber pants, and they were like super high-waisted. So I'd be wearing them while I'm bent over at work, trying to work on. They're obviously available. And one of the guys had turned around and said, look, he said, do you ever wear something from a woman?
44:32 Now, I'd never said to these people I was married, so I wasn't going to say, well, my wife had given me hers. I said, no, no, so I've always bought my own. He said, I've fucked my wife in. her wedding set last night I want you to wear it and I thought that's really disrespectful this at the other than he went
44:47 but she's cheating with you know somebody else and at that point there I went yeah fuck it so that's my that's all he needs to show but that was like that was getting into bridal wear which is I mean
45:01 bridal wear feels fantastic it's designed to exude femininity and for the likes to make bridalware is amazing and it feels brilliant yeah it's top of the boundary and girl wear. But that wasn't the point of what made it so exciting for me.
45:17 It was because it had been hers and she'd been fucked in it, it kind of gave a validity to the femininity of it. A real woman bought this and wore this and enjoyed this. Right. If that makes sense. Yeah, totally. So I kind of didn't do anything about that for years and then stumbled across a couple of websites that sell, I used lingerie and all that kind of stuff.
45:43 I started buying these things off this website, and they were like, well, how do you want it? And I'd heard a few things. I'd seen a few poor movies, you know, that express cook holding and this, and another. And I was like, I would love to combine my feminine side with the sissy side with chastody, because I've bought myself multiple cages and tried.
46:01 It's more like jewelry, because I haven't got a key holder. But I love the feeling of being locked up, and this at the other. And I'd love to actually push the boundaries and do that. And there's a couple of sellers on there, that have, you know, stayed as long-term friends. And it's like absolutely one of them, she sends me videos on all sorts.
46:19 Her husband absolutely rails her shoes, his load all over it, and then they post it to me. And I'm like, do know what? When I wear it, I am putting myself in the result of them having a good night and I'm not worthy.
46:29 And it really ticks a box. Yeah. But then I kind of, I don't step out of that back to wanting to be male anymore. I step out of that wanting to be more naturally female, which, you know, be like yourself having a kinky night. the next morning getting up and going, right, I'm going to stick a jeans and a t-shirt on and pop down the shops. And it was like, I need more and more and more of my feminine side.
46:49 And I started speaking to like online cam operators, if you like, or camera models. One of them, we have separate lives. We don't live too far away from each other, but we have a long-term friendship where we want to be a mistress and a cissy, but it's just working it out of a long-term. But we are good friends in that sense, and it doesn't matter if it takes 10 years or something before things get really moving. We have that kind of plan of this happening. In the meantime, I'm trying to push every means of being a sissy. I'm a feminism when I'm not being a sissy rather than anything male.
47:21 I grew my hair out, so I've got my own long hair now. How's your wife feel about that? She kind of didn't get a choice. I kind of looked at it and went, do you know what? I don't care. I had a military haircut all the way through my life. But how long is it? If I let it down, it's probably about two or three inches below my shoulders.
47:38 Okay. Do you look like a rocker dude? I mean, she never said anything about it to you? No, I mean, to be fair, I think she blatantly knows. Ben of mine, she knows. She knows I still dress. No, no, no, she knows. I know, but this is, I'm thinking like a woman thing sometimes. She might be like, if you grow your hair that long, other people are going to know. You know what I mean? She knows, but she doesn't want everyone else to know. I was just wondering if she was like, what the fuck's going on with your hair, you're going to, like, now the, you know, my family. going to know or whatever. But the thing is, when she talks to me about it, it's just, she gets the response of me as, I don't care anymore. I'm not, the only, the only people I'm bothered about finding out is the kids. Right.
48:19 But I know you. I'm saying, how does she feel? To be honest, I don't get an answer to her anymore because I don't ask. Yeah, I, I'm so mesmerized always by you couples that are with each other for so long and you just don't even communicate about anything with each other anymore. I mean, it just becomes like every day. And it is the norm. I'm not saying you're not abnormal for that.
48:40 No, no, I mean, the thing is, I mean, when we split for a while, they ended up in a really, really bad place. So that still male provider look after and make sure they're safe is, you know, not many men can get away from that and I can't. Despite anything else I do, making sure that they're safe and, you know, catered for overrules everything. I can't, you know, I can't get away from that. And I think that's the state of play we are at at the moment where,
49:08 I know I want to be something else. I want to be somewhere else. I want to be doing things that wouldn't be approved on in the marriage, but I'm making sure they're safe while I'm there. Oh, okay. Yeah, that happens also staying for the kids. Pretty much, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
49:23 But, no, I mean, I tried all them things. And it's like every time I see something with a new kink, oh, I won't have a go. There's some kinks, I think, I tried that once. I don't know whether I go back again. But, you know, all the, all of, like, latex, leather, rubber, all of them things, bondage, the whole lot. I'd love to throw myself at it. You know, swingers clubs, I've done swingers clubs and being in dungeons.
49:45 Wow. You do a lot of this stuff like when you're traveling for work since you do go away for so long? I did. I mean, I've had to change a job recently, which is very much cut down on all of that time. But I made myself book a couple of holidays. There's some significant towns across the UK that have a dedicated scene. I went to one of not long back where I got changed halfway there in the car and didn't take anything else male with me.
50:09 I spent the entire week, feminine, you know, which was with my hair grown out, with makeup every day, with styling myself. You know, I bought myself some hair straightener, there's a hairdry, things that men usually wouldn't bother with. But I bought all these things packed up and gone, but I'd gone shopping, local supermarket, dressed. I was going out for breakfast, this and the other than going to the bars.
50:29 I'd met a couple that their car had broken down, you know, they had a young toddler in the car. I gave him a lift. I didn't think nothing about it. worries, no prejudice, nothing. You know, she was talking to me about hair and nails. You know, and it was like, no prejudice. There was no, no, no nationalist, you know, her fellow looked a bit rough, don't get me wrong. I know that's pre-judging, but a little bit booked by the cover, but he looked a bit rough. He looked like he would normally have a problem to be an issue,
50:56 but he didn't care. He was in the back with his, even he was talking to his. And I was like, do you know what, how nice is this that I can come to a place like this and just be? And I think that was a turning point for me, like a recent turn of point, but I was like, that's, that's where my happiness has been. I need to just be me, you know, and let me out. But obviously, age is always against us. So the older, the longer I leave it, the older I get. And the harder it is to kind of convince others that you should have been that way. What do you mean? You should have, they should have, but you are that way. You, I mean, how much more do you, do you wish, like, that you could be, Deneene more than?
51:34 then 50% of the time, do you wish you would? Yeah. Okay, okay, that's interesting. So if I could do Janine 24-7, I would. Yeah, okay. But that would then be Janine for the 99% of it and Cissy for a Kinky Night. Yeah, interesting, right. You know, I would completely forget my male self if I had the opportunity.
51:58 But like I say, you know, if I'd realized that when I was 18, 19, yes, it was a different. generation but I could have done something about it then been living my life where you may not have guessed I was you know once once male you know I had the time when I was young to kind of make them adjustments to learn yeah the longer I leave it the the the less likely is that you're just passed down the street and that's for a lot of us that's the ultimate game is look can I just walk down the street nobody know yeah you know obviously as men grow up your stubble gets thicker I mean I grow a pretty crap beard anyway but you know your stubble gets thicker you're poor get bigger, your wrinkles come into different places
52:36 to whether women's do. So the longer you leave it, the harder it is to then be convincing that you are a woman. Of course. But it's one of them. I've got to make sure, obviously, people are safe at the same time, and I can't ignore that. That's like primarily coded into us. The male
52:52 part of you is what you're saying. The male animal in you feels the need to take care of your family at home in the cave. Right, is what you're saying. How does she, like, does she just sweep everything under the rug. She doesn't, because she obviously doesn't know that you're hooking up with guys and doing, like you're kind of living a secret life when it comes to sex behind your back. She does
53:12 know you dress, right? Has she ever caught you? Does she ever suspect anything? No. I mean, well, she's, she's, she was always insecure previously. About cheating? Like, about yeah, about anything, but it didn't have to be cheating. It could be attention. I could be spending time with a female friend, but because I'm talking to them, that's less attention she got. Yeah. So it was always a, it didn't matter what I was doing. It wasn't necessarily you're cheating, but it was just a case of you're not spending time with me, but you are talking to them. They're getting attention that I'm not getting. Yeah.
53:42 You know, and that's where I think me hitting back so hard and going, do you know what, I need to let me out, hit so hard when it was like, I'm going to accept this, you can do this if you want, but now I'm going to shut it. Now I'm going to shun that off. That didn't sit so well with, you know, the feminine side of me by quite a shot. And I think that's where a change in me was different there. But I was like, I can't stop this. I need to let this out. I need to let this be. Again, it's quite hard because male meat is still adamant.
54:11 He doesn't cheat. If I'm out as male, I have no, absolutely no interest in men at all. So your decaf oat milk extra but not piping hot, four pumps of caramel, no sugar, small latte and a large cup. That will be 10 minutes. No worries. I'm having fun on Playojo. And I keep it fun with all the latest slot and live. casino games. Plus, I get instant
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54:49 Nothing. Neither. Did she know? Did she ever find out that you were with guys when you were dressed or no? No. Okay. So she really has no way. Did she ever question your sexuality, though, because she knew you were dressing and everything when you had initial conversations early on? Well, she said to me once, she thought I was by. But that conversation just got stifled there and left.
55:07 Okay. And you didn't say, yes, I am. I am into guys or anything. You never like it, tilt her, right? No. I mean, I thought when I bought her a strap on, it might have dropped the hint, but it didn't. So, I mean, like I said, I'm trying to find ways of connecting, you know, I let her peg me, pegging's brilliant, by the way. Right. Yeah. I mean, after two minutes, she was like, oh, well, I'm tired.
55:27 I can't do this anymore. And I'm thinking, hold on. If this was the way around, you'd be wanting a lot longer of me. Yeah, right? You're like, I fuck you longer than you're fucking me. Yeah. But yeah, it's one of them. And it's a difficult position to be in.
55:41 But that's where, you know, I mean, I've got to make the way to let myself out now. And I've got to take ownership of going, I know what this could result in. I know which hurt could cause. But at the same time, I've got to be me. I've only got one life on this planet. Yeah. You know, and her obsession with holding onto what's plain, simple, acceptable to anybody else if they got word of it isn't kind of just holding her back. It's it's it's holding me
56:07 back as well. Right. Well, it's not really holding you back because you are living your life. She just doesn't know about it. It's like you're living a life and you are sort of catering to that side of you just without her knowing about it. I mean to be yeah, to a point. I mean, like I say, I think for me now I'm at the position where if I could cater to that like 24-7 I would do. Yeah, well listen me, you know, maybe one day when the kids are older and out of the house and it's just you and her, maybe you'll make a decision to the exit out of this marriage. Not every marriage needs to last forever your whole life just because you made a commitment. You know what I mean? I don't get why people, you know, so maybe there will be a time in your future, but maybe it's not right now because you do have that
56:53 very intense desire to stay and take care of those children, right? So it's not an option now. Oh, yeah. I mean, I think that's part of why I'm still there is like holding out there might be options for the future, but I've got to make these make sure these are okay, you know, so far. But at the same time, inside my own head, that argument's 24-7. So, you know. What's the argument? Why don't I leave now? Yeah. Why can't I do what I want to do? Why can't I be who I want to be? Well, why don't you start talking to her again and having more conversations with her? Yeah. I mean, it's, no, it's. it is a good one. It is a good point, but it's one of them where when you've tried that conversation or had them so many times. There's a conversation that goes like this. Okay, it's, listen, I can't take it anymore. I need to be more out. Like, this is a deal breaker for me. Like, you know, you sort of like light the fire. Like, you need to be a little bit maybe more honest
57:51 about where you're at. And it probably wasn't where you were at when you first discussed it with her. You know what I mean? So, and, And she just thinks you're managing. But if you're getting to the point where you can't take it anymore and you're having these real thoughts, I think a little honesty goes a long way, you know, and maybe if she's faced with the sort of thing in front of her, like, either he's going to leave me because he needs to be himself more or, you know, I'm going to allow for that and he's going to stay with me. Like, maybe she'll choose that.
58:23 Maybe you didn't, that wasn't presented before in that way. I mean, I had thought about trying to get her to relook at doing some things. Like, I was listening to one of your podcasts about cook holding and hot life in. And you said, you know, you were saying in there with, I can't remember who it was what you're talking with now. It might have even been with the lady, the gangbang episode. Yeah. But you were saying that, you know, you don't do these things to fix a marriage.
58:47 Of course. You know, you do these things in and are secure? And I think that's where I was looking at it going, do you know what, if I got her into this world. If I brought her into the BDSM, if she became a female dom, that would be ideal, because obviously me being a sissy sub, especially you could, you know, roll that in with chastity, you know, cuckold, she can get whatever sex she wants, be that boring or not boring. And obviously, I'm getting what I want because I'm getting dom, they're getting chastised, if she wants me to be, you know, with a guy or a bit of consensual non-consent forced by kind of thing. It could be a really,
59:22 But that's like a fantasy that I can play out in my mind, that I can't expect her to go with that. But you're not giving her a chance, because you haven't really brought those things up. You haven't. I've talked to 1,500, 1,600 people at this point. I hear all that moving around in the background, by the way. I've talked to 1,600 people.
59:41 You know, a lot of times a little communication completely changes the game, and you never really know unless you try. What's the worst that's going to happen? She says no. Sometimes you have to play the long game. it's not just one conversation. You know, so a lot of times women shut things down the first conversation.
59:58 But if you keep talking about it and keep talking about it, you know, sometimes there is a compromise that happens, you know, but she doesn't even know that you're into all this shit. Well, I mean, to be fair, I mean, it would take a several set of conversations to try a new position, let alone something as outbound. Well, that's okay. Well, you got to work on her. You know, listen, imagine living in that world for her.
01:00:19 Like, maybe you could help her get in touch with her sexuality. I've talked to those guys that have done that for their women too. You know what I mean? That's always been the aim. I mean, that was what I wanted to do is to try and open her eyes. Yeah. It's running out of possible. Everything gets closed off.
01:00:33 I mean, if you said to a try different flavor of crisps or chips for yourself, that's instantly going to get shut down if it's not something she already knows she likes. I know. What if it's like I said, if you did, listen, I have to like sort of get to the point where we're wrapping this up. But I do have to tell you that once my sister. wasn't like fucking her husband a lot. Okay, she told me this story. And, or it wasn't fucking him.
01:00:57 It was like just, his love language is physical touch. And he was like, always complaining that she just wasn't like nurturing in that way, like doing whatever he wanted in the way that he wanted. And he told her a million times. And she's just like fucking laugh at him.
01:01:10 She's like every other woman. I got him in the bag, right? I don't have to do what he says. Everyone's ignoring each other's needs. Guys, women don't just do that to men. Do it to women. You know, everyone's sort of telling their partners what they want,
01:01:21 but their partner ignores them because everyone has everyone in the bag and they're fucking married and they think everyone's trapped and no one's going anywhere. So they don't do it. Right. But you know what his therapist told him to do? And she told me this. And I was like, that was like so fucking brilliant is like she the therapist told him to do this. He came to her and he said, listen, I just want to tell you like straight up that like I don't want, I've never cheated on you. I don't want to cheat on you. But I have to tell you that right now because of everything that I have asked you and you have never changed and what you don't give me in my. needs like I am really worried that I am gonna cheat on you like that's where I'm at and it lit the
01:01:57 fucking fire under her ass okay because never did he speak those words you know I mean she just thought this guy because he's not a cheater she knows it she's never going to cheat but he told her you know what like I'm really nervous that I will and I'm going to if things don't change okay so you need to maybe let her know the truth it's just the truth so it wouldn't be that she's just doing it for herself. She might wind up, you know, at the end of it, becoming a much better person in touch with her sexuality and happier than she's ever been because of this. But initially you would be going to her to let her know, like you have needs that are very much not being met and they need to be met or you are possibly going elsewhere. She might just start fucking opening up her
01:02:43 brain because she doesn't want to lose you. And then, but she might wind up finding herself in the process. You don't know. So, you got to try it out. And then let me know. We'll give it a go. Just have fucking talk. You got to change the game. Try before you, you know, whatever.
01:02:59 But I mean, hopefully you'll never get caught because you're doing a lot of shit behind your back. Yeah. And again, it was one of them where I feel guilty for a lot. But then if I go home, if I go home, it's like a blank response to everything. It's like, well, why am I feeling guilty? I know. I listen, I talk to a lot of cheaters. I get it.
01:03:19 You know what I mean? And the more you do things, the more. the more you feel less guilty about it. You know what I mean over time? And you justify it because of you have had conversations before, you know. But at the end of the day, you know, before you get to the place where you make the decision to leave her, maybe give her a couple more chances to have the opportunity to maybe step up for once in her life and do what she needs to do. Because maybe if you present it to her in a different way, she just might, you know.
01:03:47 But I'm like obsessed with your story. I wish you'd go fucking start talking her now and call me up in six months when you're either divorcing her or she's pegging you again and having fun. You know what I mean? Well, if you saw the size of the strap on her, but you might understand mine.
01:04:01 And let me tell you, there are so many podcast episodes that she could fucking listen to. Let me tell you, there is nothing better than having a cissy sub in your household as a woman, okay?
01:04:10 Because cissy subs like to please their women, okay? They're not just cissy submissive in the bedroom. I don't know about you, but like the cissy subs that I talk to, they are like doing, the dishes. They're catering to the woman on every level. Like she doesn't understand what she'd be getting if you,
01:04:25 if you fucking educate her. I'll try and put her in touch with you when you can tell her what she's missing out. No, no, no. She could go listen to an episode that I just aired. No, no, no, it's, she can listen to me. She needs to listen. There's a podcast episode that I just aired with a guy that's a Cissy submissive that has his dominatrix. He goes to her house. He cleans for her. He does her laundry. Like, he does all that shit. Like, you know, there's plenty. That's what podcasts are used for nowadays. Couples share them with each other to learn. So there are so many episodes she could listen to me. Yeah. That might not be a bad idea, to be honest. Yeah. Honestly, it's so great because she could listen to women. She could listen to men. It's like it's so, it's so educational. That's where she's going to learn. But keep me posted. You're going to send me picks for my Patreon, right? Did you send me picks already?
01:05:09 There's some already in your Discord. Oh, okay. Awesome. Okay, great. Did I see them? Did I respond to you? Was I like, oh my God, these picks are killer? Or is that someone else? I can't remember. Maybe it's not on Discord. They're in the appropriate section anyway. Okay, great. So I could get them for my Patreon. Okay. I will give you a free year to my cross-dressing tier on Patreon just for calling in so you could get all the exclusive episodes there.
01:05:32 And I will have you back on to do an exclusive episode for Patreon too if you want to come on. And we could get deeper into different things because there's so much to your story. You know what I mean? This is the backstory. But we could get more on like begging and stuff. I don't know. You know, we could do this. Yeah.
01:05:45 This is me opening myself up as well. You know, this was me letting myself out of the box a little bit. But, you know, it's obviously, you have quite a good following. Oh, yeah. I mean, I was nervous about it. But I was like, do you know what? This is great. This is not having a hide.
01:05:56 This has finally been able to just speak and be free. Yeah. This is like you standing in front of that hotel for 15 minutes, but this was an hour. And I have to tell you that you're going, I'm going to change your voice. I'll make it more feminine sounding, by the way. But also, like, wait until you hear your story outside of yourself. It's going to be really powerful, I have to say. A lot of people say, like, it's very.
01:06:17 cathartic for them to call in and talk but what they also say is it's a whole other experience to hear your story outside of yourself as a third person so it's one thing to say it and to talk it but wait until you actually hear it you're going to get even something different out of it so let me know okay when you listen to it and it'll probably be up like next Friday I will do no problem okay all right this was the best I love talking to you were so good at telling your story by the way thanks Kathy thanks Janine have a good day bye night bye bye bye So your decaf oat milk extra but not piping hot, four pumps of caramel, no sugar, small latte, and a large cup. That will be 10 minutes.
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01:07:49 Okay, listen, thanks so much for tuning in. If you're listening to my show on Apple or Spotify, make sure to give me a five-star rating. It takes like one second. You could just press it on your phone and stuff like that really helps the show. And make sure to also follow my show on either Apple or Spotify or wherever you listen to my show. I also want to tell you that my book, Shrictly anonymous Confessions, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers is now available in the audiobook version. It's basically 17 stories taken from my show and they're all totally. in the third person. I wouldn't call it a total erotica book. Think more like penthouse letters. Okay. Each chapter is short. It's one story taken from my show, like I said, but told in the third
01:08:35 person by a narrator. I picked the narrator. I made sure to get somebody hot. Okay, guys, I've been emailing me that have listened to my book and they're like, oh my God, I'm getting Woody's listening to it. So you're going to dig it. The book is also available in e-book version as well as a paperback format, but I personally think the audiobook version is the best. Anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. This is the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Strictly Anonymous Podcast.
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