The Adventure Zone Providence: Episode 3
01:05 And we're back. Hey, everybody. I assume you're all binging these episodes. Well, hi, yeah. Hi, guys. Hey, buddy. How you doing? No, Trejo. I'm doing, okay. Cool, man.
01:16 Man, I haven't started to talk to you since before we started the recording. I know. I've been in a sort of suspended animation since the last time we recorded. So when you said, and we're back, that was the first thing I've heard an experience in a whole week. I bet your son's miss you. Nah. Okay. Peter Pan's got kissed.
01:34 They know when Daddy's in the content void, they know not to expect much from me. Don't knock on the hyperbaric chamber. Daddy's resting. I need him. So I assume everyone's binge listening to these, so I don't have to remind you what's going on. But our three gods are trying to find the culprit putting together the anti-god dark ritual. Their candles have been stolen. A lot of adventure happening. and dad destroyed a family's toilet.
02:06 Really just went ham on it. Yeah, but what did he do in the game? Yeah. Oh, it's always fun poking a little joke of daddy. Yep. Yeah. It sure is. Yes, it is.
02:23 Good, lucky for you, eh? Yeah. Thank God. It allowed me to enjoy your retirement. You're on your way back from the Martels. And as you are passing by the alderman's office, Alderman Warrondale waves you over. Hey, oh, sorry, can I talk to you three fine folk for just a moment? Sure, hon.
02:48 Regarding what? Well, I just wanted to check in. You know, we, I don't know if you have heard, but we don't get visitors all that often. and I've heard a few rumors, a few tellings. Ruth mentioned you all came in last night and were a little weird, showed up with no luggage, showed up, and made a mess spitting Bisk all over the place. Well, we had candles.
03:19 Okay. But we don't now. We don't have the candles. We did have some luggage, but. Well, I'm sure, Sheriff Lio is looking into that, but... We come from a place. where theft isn't really a thing. This is the first time I've ever had anything taken from me.
03:36 And it's really terrible. I'll be straight up with you, Warren. I'm having a difficult time dealing with it. You just feel violated. The violation, the invasion, I don't. I don't know how you deal with it. Well, I also just got a messenger lobster from the Martels that you did quite a number on their bathroom. Can you not use the Royal U, please?
04:00 Oh, yeah, sorry. That you, any points at you, Tintabula, just really did a number on their bathroom. Where we're from? Indoor plumbing is just not a thing. So, forgive me. What about common courtesy and things like that? Is that a thing where you're from?
04:22 Of course it is. Okay. Of course it is. I don't adhere to it. But still, we're familiar with the concept. Yes. All right. I'm going to have to listen.
04:34 I'm going to have to listen. The three of you. I'm going to have to ask the three of you. So maybe trying to mind your peas and cues a little bit more. Listen, I'll let you in on Little Seeger. I'm not the biggest fan of the Martels with their newfangled ideas and desires to update and things like that. But they're still my villagers, you know? and the little shellfish inn is one of the pride,
05:02 many prides and joys of Osta Village. And so I'm going to ask you three to maybe tighten up a little bit, maybe behave yourselves a little bit more, and just know that I'll be keeping an eye on you. Okay. Are you going to give this speech to whoever stole our incredible candles? Thank you. Because that to me,
05:27 me feels like more of a betrayal of the sort of social norms. More than spit and bisque? Yes. Yeah, I would say that theft would rank much higher than spit and bisque. Also, the bisque was really hot and it burned my mouth. You want me to keep it in there and blister my beautiful tongue forever? Well, no. So maybe talk to Ruth about the temperature that she is serving her bisque at because it seems to be a danger.
05:55 Show him. Show him. Show him. Show him. Show him. your tongue. I don't need to. No, I don't need that. Isn't that lovely? It's a very nice tongue. Well, let's start on the...
06:04 Look at the size of that home. Yes, I and... Yeah, okay. Thank you. Just, you know, listen, we're a quaint village. A little set in our ways, one might say. Don't...
06:16 Please don't make any trouble. Yeah, I'm going to go by and... I'm going to try to fix the toilet today. If that would help. Oh, I... I'm sure them are. Martels would appreciate it. Now, if you'll, excuse me, I have many aldermanish duties to get to.
06:33 You three, keep your nose is clean and have a great day poking around our beautiful village. Did you know if your sheriff found our candles? Yeah. I believe he's going to meet you back at the end, so, you know, he's very thorough. I'm sure he'll already have some leads, you know? A lot of words to say no. You are remarkably plugged into the comings and goings of this village. You are aware of every rumor, every toilet that every aged woman makes a whoopsie in every bisque mess that is created in your village's eateries.
07:13 I find it very difficult to believe that you have not heard more rumors about some sort of dark ritual activity that may or may not be transported. somewhere within the boundaries of this, this charming little town. Well, I mean, this is a fine, outstanding village full of, I'm sure if there are any rituals, they're, you know, maybe light, maybe off white at worst. Like a bone, like a cream, something like that.
07:45 Oh, yeah, like a toasted ivory. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Okay, well, if you can just, in addition to any bathroom, mess or bisque mess news that may be percolating. If you could also just sort of keep an ear to the ground for any kind of dark magic activity, that would be of great use to us as visitors. Because we get freaked out by that stuff. We will definitely want to get the heck out of town if we hear about any of that stuff
08:15 happening. And you've been such a huge contribution to our village so far. I hate for that to happen. I guess this is what I'm trying to say to you and being tactful in doing so. but I'm now going to abandon that. If you want us out of your hair to stop making bisque and toilet messes, it would behoove you to help us figure out
08:31 what's going on with the dark ritual. I will keep my ear to the ground and I'll have all my little lobsters, as they say, bringing me messages about it and see if I could find anything for you. Thank you. He heads back into the office as you turn to walk down the street.
08:49 You're struck by the realization that the streets are empty. Now, it's not a super populated village, but as you were heading to the Martell's, there were people on the porches, there was the blacksmith and the carpet are working. What time day is it?
09:06 You know, it's about noon, 1230, 1 o'clock, somewhere in there. Let me ask. My time of day. Manusia, what time is it? 1203. It's 1203. And, you know, you're... 04.
09:20 I'm sorry. 12.4 now. Time changed, as you were answering. As you make this realization, you also pick up on, you can hear a wooden tapping and clicking sound coming from around the corner. And it is getting closer to you. And as whatever is making this sound comes around the corner, you see unmanned, moving on their own, six sets of hoop and stick rolling towards you. The sticks are floating in the air, tapping the hoops, all moving. towards you. How quick, how fast are they coming at us? Are they coming at a, with like intent to harm?
10:01 Well, as you're wondering that, the first one bounces into the air and turns sideways and lands encircling minutia and begins to constrict. No way. I'm going to use one of my superpowers. Okay. I'm going to use my ability to dilate time. Time dilate time. activation. Domain expansion. Time dilation. Activate. I'm able to shift.
10:33 You all feel a crackle through the air. Energy seems so. I love how you can't get to this with us. You can leap through from my fingertips as time slows around me by what must be at least four to five percent. Whoa. That may be. Just the edge we need. Well, it's enough.
10:58 Okay, first of all, roll to be super, so roll 1D6. Okay. That's a 1. Is that a good? That's very good. Is this a game where 1 is good? Yeah, that's very good. The action works as intended.
11:12 So it was aiming to get around your arms, kind of bind at your elbows. But thanks to your time dilation, it actually only made it as far as, like, your shoulders. Incredible. It's bound around your shoulders, but you still have some movement in your arms. Great. Did that look incredible to you guys? It looked like a blur, or what did it look like from where you guys were? It looked like it was in, like, weird 24 frames per second.
11:42 For just like a little nauseating. You just changed into like daytime soap opera kind of motion for just a tough. You turn into hoppet speed for just a sec. Yeah. And two more of them are. going to bounce and try to wrap around each of you, Tintabula and Sphira. What do you do? I'll tank them and let them get all around me. And then once they have constricted, I will use one of my powers, which is to expand the volume of my body and try and just sort of
12:16 destroy them. Oh. Oh, sort of like Hulk, Hulk through them. Okay. Here's what we're going to do. You are going to roll the B-Cupersets, 1D6. I'm also going to roll 1D6 to contest it. Well, they don't have superpowers, so I'm going to roll 2D6. I'll roll 2D6 to contest it and the lowest score wins. Okay, I got a 4. I got a 5. Crack, crack, snap.
12:45 Snap as you expand your body. How much you expand it percentage-wise? 4 to 5%. Whoa! It's just enough. Just enough. What about you, Tintabula? Tintabula is going to use her power to imitate an alarm bell, hoping someone will come help her.
13:09 Awesome. Nice. Okay, excellent. Two more of the hoops wrap around you, Tintabula, and begin to constrict. But not before you let loose this sonic blast of alarm bell. Roll a G6 for me to be super. Five. A five.
13:24 Just in there. Action works as intended. You hear two sets of powerful boot steps coming towards you as the blacksmith and the carpenter come out. The carpenter swings his axe at you, but he's so good on it that he just like gets it right through these hoops. And the blacksmith swings his powerful hammer and knocks the sticks away. There's one hoop left as the now five of you surround it. What do you do? It's shaking with fear. This poor hoop.
14:00 Can I grab it and try to figure out what is animating this hoop? You absolutely can't. I'm going to say grabbing it isn't difficult, but roll a D20 for me to see how well you can figure out what's going on. 17. Oh yeah. With a 17, this is something you are very familiar with as one of these gods. That's crazy. These hoops are being charged.
14:24 empowered by erratic potential energy. They are behaving in a way that they simply are not meant to. This is the kind of thing that you normally see happen when a god is not able to siphon off the energy from these objects. And usually it happens through completely erratic and accidental inadvertent means. Right. This does seem targeted in some way.
14:50 Do we know the god of hoops? I mean other than Michael Jordan That's you, buddy Yeah, thanks Yeah, as far as you are aware You are not able The hoop and stick are outdated Objects that outside of this
15:06 You know kind of stuck in time Osta Village you would not normally see In the world And when these objects become obsolete Then the God who was previously Connected to them is given some new invention To be the God of so that their food source is sustained.
15:24 So as far as you know, there is no god of food and stick. Tintabula's going to grab one of the sticks. Okay. Out of mid-air. Okay. And then to what end? And then talk to it. Nice.
15:41 Do I need to roll for that? Well, Father, right now I'm, my gas is flabbard. as I'm trying to figure out because it has no mouth and it must screen yeah but somebody's controlling it somebody's doing something so she wants to talk to the stick
16:02 okay I'm going to say since this is not your superpower I'm going to have you roll uh yeah you know I'm going to have you roll 3D6 to see how this goes because this is very
16:16 challenging okay to grab a stick and talk to it. Ah, yes, okay. I got you. A two and a two and a two. A six.
16:29 There's a super glitch. Roll a D6 for me. Roll a D6, okay. A five. A five. You perform the action in a way that inconveniences others. Okay, as you are trying to talk to this stick, it is pulling you all.
16:50 all around the area. You're having a hard time maintaining control of it. As you knock into the blacksmith, you knock into the carpenter, you're knocking into Spira and minutiaa and really inconveniencing them while you're trying to keep a hold of this. Roll a D20 for me to see if you're able to hold on to it as it's pulling you all around. That would be a Nat 20. A Nat 20, yes.
17:17 This thing, you have it bent to your roll. will. What would you like to ask it? Hey, hey. Hey, hey. Listen. Stop it. Stop, stop, stop. My feet. Watch my feet.
17:34 Hello? Is there anybody there? Hello? Hello? Who is this? Anybody there? So this thing's manner of communication to you is going to be vibrations. So it's very limited in what it is going to be.
17:52 Because I can't talk. Vibrations are my thing, honey. Yes. So I think you're going to be able to ask it like yes or no questions. Okay. And I'm also going to tell you that those questions are going to be limited to like three before this energy is used up. Okay. All right.
18:11 First of all, she asked the vibrator. Are you? No. No. No. No. No. I asked around.
18:18 Everyone said nope. Everybody said nope. Oh, all right. In the world. That was crazy. Everyone in the world said no. They all united on this one thing. It is amazing.
18:30 It was like hands across America, but all those hands were giving a thumbs down. We are the world. So loud. We hate what you said. Okay. Listen. What? Um, are you trying to hurt us?
18:50 It vibrates yes. Are you being controlled by someone on this delta? It vibrates yes. Um, have we met you yet? Like, have you met the person controlling it? Yes. It vibrates yes. And then it snaps in half as its energy drains.
19:19 Oh, my God. You killed it. I broke the vibrator. Why would you, why? No. Why would you do that and say that? I didn't, I didn't mean to break it. I was learning some information.
19:32 It is being controlled. It is trying to hurt us. And it's being controlled by someone we've already met on this Delta. This is all very valuable. This is only the third episode that has to be somebody, I mean, it can't be a very big school of suspects. I don't know what that means. I don't understand what that means. I had an episode.
19:52 I'm sorry. Is that what happened in the restroom? Yes, I had it. That was my second episode. Kurt and Dale, I do declare. I apologize. Yeah, I'm Kurt and I'm Dale. Sorry, did those come out of two different?
20:08 Yeah, they're twin brothers. Okay, cool. Cool. I apologize for... Who are you? Yeah, what he said. I am Spira, and these are my associate. It's minutia and tintabula, and this is not how I optimally would have met the two of you,
20:28 but I am a big fan of the metallurgic and wood arts, and was just heading over to your shop, if you can believe it. We thank you for your assistance in destroying these vile hoops. Have you ever seen anything like this before, inanimate objects coming to life and attacking visitors to your Delta? Attacking, no. And not specifically hoop and stick, but yeah, stuff happens weird here sometimes.
20:58 You get used to it. Elaborate. You get used to it. Can you elaborate, please? Yeah, sometimes you see, like, you know, like iron trivets, you would use them to iron. They don't use them anymore, but, you know, they're like, you put them on the stove and they heat up
21:16 and they use them to iron your clothes, you know? Okay. Sometimes they'll just... I can't give everyone knows what a tribute is, dear. They'll just move around to, like, block a door, keep a door open and keep a door closed on its, you know, stuff like that. Spinning wheels, kind of making like cobwebs in the corner, that kind of thing. You get used to it.
21:32 So obsolete sort of technology and children's toys, you're saying, have had a habit of coming to life and acting a fool. I suppose you can phrase it like that, yeah. Interesting. Is there a Cooper here in this Delta? Well, I mean, I take care of anything having to do with Wood. You know, I'm kind of a Kurt of all trades. Well, not metal trades.
22:07 Yeah, I'll handle that. I'm a Dale of all trades with metal. So he's a Kurt of all wood trades. Yeah, and he's a Dale of all metal trades. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. So, um, I was, I was wondering if you have noticed any other sort of strange goings on. Don't get me wrong. You telling us about these obsolete items coming to life and going crazy, that's very helpful. But we are sort of paranormal investigators who have come to your town following rumors of dark ritual that may be taking place.
22:44 A dark ritual, you say. Yeah, yes. Not like a normal ritual? No. Because I would say rituals usually happen up, you know, at the chapel. At the church, yes. We can't get up there. It's time gated, but we will.
22:55 Oh, yeah. We're working on that, you know, when the shop is closed. We got to get our business. We got a lot of orders. We had a lot of custom orders come in recently. So we've got to get those done. And then we're working on clearing the road. What kind of orders?
23:09 Do you mind if we work while we talk? Like I said, we've got a lot to get done. May I watch you work? I'm a big fat. I will be honest, whichever one of the two of you does wood stuff, I'm more of a metal guy. But I would love to see how the sausage gets made. Yeah. Kurt, that's me. I handle the wood and Dale. Yeah, that's me. I handle the metal stuff. Okay. Well, Kurt, maybe you could go on a walk or something, because it is... I mean, I got work to do. Okay. It's just kind of difficult keeping...
23:44 How about one of you work? and don't talk. And the other one talk. Or maybe. Perhaps, Kurt, you could do like a funny voice. Well, how about, we'll do like a rock paper scissors thing. And whoever wins will talk and they'll work. Okay.
24:03 Okay, that seems a little more convoluted probably. Okay, rock paper scissors shoot. Just the choice. It's a tie. Rock paper scissors shoot. Damn, another tie. Okay. Rock paper scissors shoot.
24:16 Damn it. This is tough. You know what? All work and he'll talk. I don't know who said that. I don't know which one of you said that. Oh, because you are twins? How rude.
24:28 What is their setup like? I know that these two have been interested in upgrading their set. I guess I'm looking for bellows. I guess I just want to know. Oh, yeah, there's bellows. Bellos are being used as Dale goes over and is working the forge on a hammer in a way. here. He's bellowing all the live long day. Kurt, the carpenter brother, takes a break, and he's just pulling splinters out of his fingers, so many of them while he's talking to you. And you can see
24:59 they have twin lobsters as well, little pet beds and pet balls labeled log and coal. The two of them are scurrying around as well. I can't help but notice your bellow valve needs greasing. Do you mind if I do just a little bit of upkeep. Okay, but be careful. That's an heirloom. That was my dad's bellows. Oh. Our dad's bellows.
25:25 Yeah, sorry, all dad's bellows. Yeah, I want to try to improve the efficiency. I want to improve the efficiency of these bellows. I want these bad boys working at the height of their powers so that any thoughts they may have of leaving this sort of traditional. means of smithing behind. Okay, give me, uh, we're going to use this to show off. So give me a 2D6 roll.
25:58 Oh, fuck, 11. Oh, boy. Oh, that's only one super glitch, though. So, uh, roll a D6 for me. Nope. Uh, that is a four? A four. You perform the action in a way that causes unintended destruction.
26:17 Cool, cool. Cool. Maybe the worst one I could have gotten then. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it works so well that it blows the coals out the back of the forge, just clearing a pathway through the middle of where he was like stoking this coal burning, you know, kind of a dish of calls him right out. Okay, got a little too greasy there, I think.
26:47 I apologize. I just get so excited about bellows. But look at how greased up that is. That valve is swinging like a barn door. This thing, maybe in the immediate sense, I did make a big mistake, but I think moving forward, these bellows are going to serve you very, very well. See, this is exactly the kind of thing that Carly Martell was talking about. You know, it's uncontrolled.
27:10 You don't get the exact, this is the Carboner telling the blacksmiths this. You don't get the kind of control. If you would just let him give you some of those, like, magical spells that will stroke fire, it'll be the same every time, much more control burn. Has he been pushing those spells on a lot of people? Oh, I wouldn't say pushing, but he's definitely brought a lot of ideas away so he could update, things that could fix, you know, things that would just make life just a little bit easier, you know what I mean, not have to do stuff the way we've been doing it before,
27:46 just a little quality of life, he calls it. And then what does he? get in exchange for giving you this incredible magic power. Well, I think he just likes the irony. He's been talking about, you know, telling all his friends about it and encouraging them to come check it out, see if they want to set out. I think he said vacation homes, which I didn't even know that was a thing, frankly. You two are businessmen, correct?
28:14 This is a business? Yeah, no. You like I say, yeah. We do order. We do the standard stuff, you know. You know, nails and boards and boards with nails. But we also do like custom waters and stuff. You know, we're craftsmen.
28:31 We take a lot of pride. And isn't your business model to distribute the things you create and the work that you do gratis for no... We do it for money. I don't know what gratis are, but we don't have any use for them. So you understand then that it would be very very... strange for for mr. Martel to to give you access to powerful magics with no expectation of payment or some other way of him getting his beque. You don't find that
29:05 peculiar. Are you saying that the only reason someone would be nice is for money? You're twisting my words in a way that feels bad but I I feel like I set up the analogy actually pretty good with the whole YouTube are businessman thing and you two are willfully kind of ignoring that. Well, I mean, there was talk about him needing some materials for things and they're being
29:31 that kind of thing. Like what? What kind of materials? Oh, you know, uh, gears, uh, polis, uh, nails, boards, boards with nails, hammers. It sounds like he's constructing some
29:50 sort of large and fern machine, perhaps. I mean, I didn't say infernal. I don't know about that. Is that the custom orders that they have been working on? Before I came in here and made a terrible mess. What were they? Could I tell what they were working on?
30:08 You see one of the orders, the one that he is currently working on, is a large gold life preserver. Whoa. A life preserver made out of solid gold. Okay. What is that? Oh, yeah, that's one of the custom orders. Old Hayward said he wanted, he called it a boat ring. He wanted to give his boat Dolores a ring,
30:37 so he custom ordered this golden life preserver to give her. I really thought it was a clue, guys. I mean, he also got, like, several yards of, like, silver chain for a boat necklace, he said. Okay. But that's not all we've been. They're not all weird things. Well, let's see. Warren Dale, you know, the alderman, very respectable.
31:05 He had us build kind of like a portable kind of holding cell thing because somebody's been vandalizing the schoolhouse, and he wants to be able to figure out who did it and give him a little time to cool off and everything. and we've never really had anything like that here. So that was fun. That felt respectable to build for the community. A robot in a prison?
31:30 I mean, no, just like, well, I guess if a cage is a prison. It is one of the main features of a prison. So wait, are birds in prison? Yeah, yes. Oh, my God. Yeah, that's why they're singing, like, all the time. Did you not know that? No, you've given me a lot to think about.
31:51 And you know when you when you catch your lobsters in cages, that's pretty much many, many cells. We catch our lobsters in traps. What shape are the traps? This is ridiculous. What shape are the traps in? Oh my God, you're right. Okay.
32:09 But not all of them. Log and Co. Here, they're buddies. They hang out. They bring us various materials or a cool drink while we're working. They're good boys. So how are you supposed to deliver these things? Well, like, most of these days come pick them up.
32:28 The mobile holding cell was easy. And, you know, old hayward brought a cart for the thing. Now, we made a bunch of candelabras for Benjamin Keen up at the chapel, but we haven't been able to deliver those yet because of the road. So we're working on that. He also got like a big old, like bronze bowl. Um, but he came in Gotha himself. He said it was very special.
32:54 And he, so he, he picked that up on his own. Anything strange about the pole, like runes? Uh, no, not room, but he had very specific kind of dimensions and everything. There, it was, he needed it to be, like, there was a couple times where we were like, okay, that's done. And then he would calm down and he'd be like, mm, not quite. And he would, like, give us something like, like, no, a little tweak there, a little tweak here. You know what I mean?
33:19 was very particular about it. Can you, will you excuse us just for a minute? Okay. I mean, we have a lot of work to do, like I said. Yes, we go, go and hammer and tinker. Fellas, can we have a little cat? I do need to take a tinker. I'm going to go to the bathroom real bad.
33:37 Yeah, I'll be right back. Okay. Those things all sound very ritually. Don't you think? I mean, a horse, for holding something and, you know, candlesticks and bowls. And come on. I mean, it's right out of a Vincent Price movie, whoever that is.
34:02 I agree. Yes, obviously, I think, is it possible that just everyone on this Delta is doing a ritual? And this is a, I don't know, we're just sort of in enemy territory. All of that sounded extremely specific. Yes. Strange. And I don't know about giving your boat a ring. Ignore all that.
34:28 All the stuff that that dude's doing with his boat cannot possibly be germane to our investigation. It's just generally creepy. No, I'm not going to judge it. I'm not going to yuck his yum. It seems a beautiful relationship. But I don't think it has anything to do with the dark ritual. Min, what do you think? I think I want to go over to their house
34:53 And just kind of look around for a while It is about time, isn't it? Yeah It's 130 We have been here for seven hours Do you need I have to I'm talking to the brothers now
35:08 Hey I got to go by there to try to fix their toilet Do you need anything dropped off? Yeah, here's some boards And some nails And some boards with nails If you could drop those off Ow, fuck Yeah, don't hold them like that
35:27 Hold them by the middle Out No, the other middle Okay The left middle Um Curtendale Will you do us a favor
35:40 I know that you don't know us particularly well But we come For free Because I've been told recently that people don't do nice things for free, isn't that right? Well, okay. I mean, what service can we possibly provide you a carpenter and a blacksmith? We're delivering stuff for them.
36:00 So. Uh, oh, no, like a cool high five. Okay. We'll do a cool high five. Roll. How about I clean up this big mess I made with all the coals? That would be nice. Okay.
36:18 Do you want gloves? Don't touch your coals. Oh, thanks. No, I didn't realize that. Here's some tongs. Use the tongs. Yeah, great. I love tongs. Oh, it's not to love. Tongs will never go out of style. Yeah, no, definitely. Everyone's always going to need to pick up hot stuff. Or cold stuff. Check this out, though. I'll use the bellows to blow the coals back into the fire.
36:44 Okay, roll 2D6. No problem. That is a six. God damn it, it was so close. Yeah, roll a D6 for me. It's another fucking four.
37:00 You blow them over the forge back the other way, so now they're on the other side of the force. Okay, hold on. Don't just shut up, shut up, just everyone, shut up. I'll do it again,
37:11 but this time I'm going to fucking crush it. Okay, roll 2D6. Oh, God. Nine. Okay, roll a D6 for me. That's a three. You perform the action in a way that draws unwanted attention. Now you see the shopkeeper from the major store.
37:30 He's out on his porch. Ruth from the inn is out on her porch. And they're watching you, like, shaking their heads and kind of tisking at you. Let them tisk. I've got nothing to hide. I'm a normal man who loves bellows. Are you announcing you that alone? I'm a normal man who loves bellows.
37:51 Do I at least clean up the fucking mess? Yeah, you've cleaned up the mess. Okay. All right. So, now will you keep an ear out, please, for any dark ritual activity? Yeah, you got it. Any fan of Bellows is a friend to me. Which one of you?
38:11 Sorry, I've lost. That was the blacksmith. Great. Manusia, you're heading back to the Martell's. Yes. And Spira and Pentabula. were you still heading back to the shellfish? I think Tintabula's just,
38:45 I don't think she wants to go back to the thing. I think she's going to wander around a little bit. Kind of, kind of see what happens. Are we supposed to meet the sheriff back at the end? Yeah. Because I can go back and do that. Okay, so Tintabula is going to wander around. Let's follow Spira for a moment.
39:03 You get back to the end, and inside waiting for you is Ruth. Oh, welcome back. Do you want some lunch bisque? It's, I mean, it's, you know, getting closer to 2 o'clock, but we still got a little bit left if you want some lunch, Bisk. Yes, what's the temperature? Oh, I've left this one out to cool. So there will be no more spitting of Bisk.
39:27 Okay. And as you're saying this, the door of the end creaks open, and in walks Tyler Hayward, the wild card lobster, that is one of old Hayward's Shelby. and Ruth gets incredibly visibly anxious. And she says, oh, Tyler, don't, don't, don't come in here with that wild card energy. And Tyler stands there. And she goes, oh, I hate him when he's like this.
39:54 You never know what he's going to do. Spirit, do you still have one of those lobster biscuits? I do. Actually, I have one. I was going to save it for it. But you know what? This is probably the most useful it will be. So I'll land Tyler.
40:09 Give it to him carefully. Flat palm. Flat palm. I'm gonna, I'll just kind of drop it. Okay, great idea. I don't want to get snippy snapped. Tyler eats the biscuit. And then leaves.
40:23 Oh, that was close. What could have possible? What was the threat there? I don't know. He's a wild card. What has he done in the past that has deserved this level of anxiety? Oh, he, oh, sometimes. Oh.
40:38 He brings an energy into the room. You're doing the grunt thing again where you're just Tim Allening to make space. Oh, sorry. You're just making space to think by grunting. You can't fool me, Ruth. No, you never know what he's going to do. Has Leo, the sheriff, come by? Oh, yes, he's waiting for you around the side of the inn.
40:58 If you go, yeah, go out and then take right when you leave, and then another right and you'll be on the side. Okay. Strange. I don't know why he wouldn't come inside. Oh, he's working. He's very dedicated to his work. Okay. I'll leave here as fast as I can to go meet with Leo. Okay. Oh, and she yells at you as you leave.
41:19 If you see, when you see your friend again, Tintabula, tell her, I need to ask her something. I have a bit of a favor to ask her. Or an invitation, rather, something like that. Okay. You make it out around the side of the building, and the first thing you see, the glint of sunlight off of a well-polished sheriff's badge, you know, and you see it pinned to a sheriff uniform as a beefy lobster.
41:50 And, yeah, a beefy lobster in a sheriff uniform and hat waves you over. Okay. And you can see that the sheriff badge reads Leo. Hello, Sheriff Leo. Very informal about law and stuff. I've already left to go to the Martels, or am I still hanging? Well, that's up to you.
42:13 You had said you were going to the Martels, but... Yeah, but if... Okay, I'll let them do this. Okay, gotcha. Well, I'll... Go ahead. Uh, Sheriff Leo, I presume. The lobster nods.
42:27 Have we... Okay. Sorry, I would offer you a biscuit, but I've just given my last one to Tyler, who I understand is a... He waves as if waving you off, and then, like, pats his... his underbelly.
42:40 You're full. You're full of biscuits already. Okay. I don't understand why a lobster is in charge of the law. I guess you're a lobster, and that's very funny. I do like that, but I was hoping to perhaps, is there a human deputy or someone that I could perhaps have a normal conversation with? You've never seen this look on a lobster's face before, but he's affronted.
43:07 How big is he? He's beef. He's the biggest lobster you've seen so far. Okay. I apologize. I mean no offense. I merely am trying to get to the bottom of something, and I fear that there will be a communication barrier between the two of them.
43:21 The lobster takes his hat off and then, like, kind of wipes his brow with his other claw, puts the hat back on. Okay. So I guess just in any way you're able to communicate this. Two main issues. One, we have been robbed. me and my two associates staying here at this charming inn, have had our golden candles stolen, and they're very important to us, very important golden candles.
43:51 He pulls out a little note pan and a little pencil, and he starts scribbling on the paper. So someone broke into our room through the window, and there were traces of brackish seawater left behind, which makes me suspect, some sort of oceanic creature. I'm not going to say exactly what kind because I don't want to affront you
44:15 for the second time in this conversation, but it was the culprit. So I guess anything you can do to track down these candles, I cannot stress to you the importance. He holds up his claw. I don't know that means. To say like, hold on.
44:29 Jesus. And then he points over, and he walks over, and he points of the trellis, the vine cover. trellis on the side of the building. Yeah. And he kind of like doodoo like points up it as to indicate something crawling up it. Yes. And he points at the window. Yes. And then he like with his claw makes a little very careful, precise like circling motion while pointing at the glass of the
44:55 window where the hole is. Okay. And you here make a little. Yeah. So as you are saying a sea creature capable of scuttling up a trellis and then using some sort of sharp appendage, perhaps, cut a perfect circle in the glass. And that to me, that to me sounds like lobster business. He nods. Okay. But in like a sad, like, what is the world coming to kind of way? Do you, I mean, is there a lobster in town that you have? He waves, he waves his hand.
45:30 Hold on. And points. that both windows and with both claws indicates climbing up the trellis and circling the windows. I don't understand that. And he holds up both claws. This would take two claws to, it was two lobsters? And he points at you. Me?
45:51 No, like, you got it in a yes kind of way. This is the work of two lobsters. He nods. Okay, so, okay, this is actually really good stuff, Leo. I apologize for my doubting you. before, you actually seem extremely capable. And I understand why you have to... He points to the sheriff beds.
46:08 Yes, yes. The authority that you have been granted, it seems, is well earned. Okay, well, I will continue to keep an eye out. There are a lot... There's a weird number of twin lobsters in this town, and so that doesn't, unfortunately, narrow things down too much, but it does give me something to go on. If you could continue to pound the pavement, so to speak,
46:29 see what you could dig up. He writes down on the piece of paper, and like holds it up to you. And it's the handwriting, this will not surprise you? Terrible. Yeah, no, I can't read that. But he is, he's written out
46:42 wide lobsters, question mark. Wide lobsters. Oh, scratches it out, writes again, wild lobsters, question mark. You wild? Okay, I, okay. Okay. So this is not the work of domesticated lobsters, you assume.
47:05 It is the work of wild. He loves your shrugs. Okay. All right. Well, that will make things much more difficult. All right. Well, I guess if you hear anything about golden candles turning up at some sort of lobster pawn shop, if you could let me know, that would be great. He scribbles on another piece of paper and hands a deer. And it says case number 27 for insurance. Okay. The candles were not insured, unfortunately. He is shocked.
47:36 Well, okay. Leo, we are here as we, Mingy and my associates, we are in our own way investigators. We are here on another case, and this is probably one that you've been cracking. I would love to compare notes, but we have heard reports of dark rituals taking place on this Delta. He writes down on a piece of bipper. Dark? Yes. I don't know.
48:02 why that continues to. We know up at the church, don't write it, it takes a while for you to write stuff down. We know up at the church that they're doing ritual stuff, but we're talking specifically about dark rituals.
48:13 We were recently attacked by six hoops and sticks being controlled by someone on this island who mean me and my associate's harm, which makes me think we're getting close to the church. He writes down kids?
48:25 I mean, they, no. They were sentient hoops and sticks. They were not, there weren't kids If there were kids control, if there were kids with the sticks in hand, we could have figured that out very quickly, Leo. These were magic, enchanted sort of hoops and sticks that were coming after us. All that to say, Leo, you've not heard anything about any dark rituals taking place.
48:48 He shakes his head now. Okay, well, I guess that's another thing to follow up on. If you can focus on the candle stuff, I guess me and my associates can work on the dark ritual stuff. but I do thank you for your time and your candor. I know it's probably not easy to point a claw at your fellow crustaceans. He very laboriously writes on a note and hands it to you. And it says, just doing my jube. Okay.
49:18 I can't actually fault you for your grammatical and typographical errors. You are way ahead of the curve, I think, in terms of lobster literacy. He reaches into his little pocket and pulls out a tiny sticker and hands it to you. And it says, the little sheriff's bat says, honorary deputy. Oh, I like that. I like that a lot. Okay. Well, Leo, this has been the most wonderful interaction I've had since coming to this Delta,
49:47 and I do thank you for that. I will be in touch. What's the best? Do you have an office or something? He points at the major store. You live at the major store? He nods. They don't give you your own office?
50:03 He shakes his head, no. Sadly, I said to say, I'm just you're my best man. No, I, hey, no, I'm not judging you. I'm just surprised. You seem extremely capable, and I would think that they would... Is crime not like a big issue here? And not really. He shakes his head in a not really kind of way.
50:23 I mean, I don't know how to tell you this, Leo. In the last 24 hours, we have been victim. of theft and hoop assault. So, I mean, that's two crimes right there. He, um, this takes like 45 minutes. He writes out a note and hands it to you. And it reads, moved here from Big Sittai.
50:42 Yeah. Was Big Sittai policeman. Okay. Got too hard, too much deaf. Yeah. Needed quiet life. Right. Moved here.
50:56 Hoping. to settle ghosts of past. Right. Never expected candle-based burglary and vandalism in my vilege. Oh yes, I suppose that's the other thing,
51:13 the schoolhouse vandalism. Anything you can tell me about that. He ruffles back through the notes on the ground and holds up the one that says, kids. Oh, so that was just kid stuff? Probably not related to dark rituals Put the note back down
51:29 It puts a question mark on it Oh so you're not sure Kids? No I don't I mean I don't know I wasn't here for the schoolhouse vandalism I'll tell you what Leo You are doing such a great job And I feel like I've gotten a lot out of this interaction
51:42 I will be Continuing my investigation again If you get any sort of leads on the candles Me and my associates Will be staying here at the end If you could just let us know I would be forever in your debt. He writes out another note.
51:59 Oh, and no more spiting Bisk. B-I-S-K. Is it a crime to spit B-S-K, Leo? Just Rudd. Okay. I'm going to walk away now, Leo. He waves. Maximum Fun.
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