The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #381 - Joey Alvarado

Episode Date: May 19, 2016

Joey Alvarado, fitness/mma and bjj coach. He holds a Black belt in Bjj under Roger Machado as well as black belts in Hapkido and Tae Kwon Do under Grand Master S.R. Moreland, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in studio. This podcast is brought to you by: Headspace: Go to headspace.com/joey and download the Free Headspace App and start your Take10 10 day free trial. Meundies.com Go to meundies.com/JOEY for 20 % off of your first order and shipping is always free in the US and Canada.   Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10%discountat checkout.   Recorded live on 05/18/2016.
  

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and use Cobert Church to save 10% on all of their great optimization products like Alpha Brain, TrumTech Immune, and Trum Tech Sport. Kick that motherfucker Lee. Wednesday. May 18th, you bad motherfuckers. Smoking.

Token lighten yourself on fire. I don't give a fruct. It's Wednesday, bitches. The day the devil was buried at sea. What? Respected bitch. Uh, where's Hillary at? I know, I had to plan my snake out of the skin in this world, the fly girl.

Until I caught Earl. What? Lee Syatt. Joey the kettlebell Alvaran. I love that fucking I love that fucking jam. First time I heard that jam dog I almost jumped out of window.

It's an awesome song, man. It was in Boulder, Colorado. Then I heard it in the Copeland. In Copeland when you shoot under the bridge. That's the music that... Sylvester Stallone, right? Yeah, that's the music. The black guy's playing with the machine gun.

When they go back, then Wonderboy jumps off the fucking building and you hear that jam in the car and the guy's driving by. and the guy's driving by, you're like, Jesus, fucking guys. When did you start getting into rap, or hip-hop, I guess, not rap? Public enemy. You know, listen, you got into rap if you liked hip-hop, whatever that fucking song was. I said, a hip, hop, a hip.

Yeah, yeah, that's an old school. That's old-school. That's old-school stuff right there. And then, you know, it evolved over the years, and then, I don't know. I really liked public enemy. Yeah. I was back, like, way back then, man, with Curtis Blow and all those guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I like basketball and all that stuff. And so that's what was in. It was like Curtis Blow, the fat boys around DMC. Africa Mombada. Wanda for Chalmala station now and shit. What? Yes, dog. I read an article yet.

Like, all black men should read this. And African bombada molested a bunch of fucking kids. Oh, yeah. They had like kids. Bodyguards. Like everywhere. They would just bring like teams of them and like you would have some travel. Allegedly.

I don't know. African bomb. But according to the article, yeah. Wow. That is fucking, it's like a growing fucking, you know, and I tell you, when I was a kid, I suspected somebody at my high school, but I never heard some.

A friend of mine told me here that he saw somebody sucking his dick one time. He took me to basketball games and shit. No, I only got molested one time. Like, one guy tried to molest me one time in the winter time. I said, I went down to play basketball. You know, I was a basketball player, and it snowed. And when it snowed in the East fucking coast,

it snowed for two days and locked the city up. So the buses, instead of running every 15 minutes, they were like every two hours. So I think I got a ride down there. But then on the way back, everything freezes up. It gets nighttime, it's dark. And I'm not hitchhiking. I'm just waiting for the bus.

And some dude pulls over, and he fucking... And he went to hit the ball. And when he went to touch, he goes, you like basketball. When he went to hit the ball, he slipped and grabbed my cock. And at the next fucking light, God was in the car because it doing... just opened up and I ran out of the car and I ran across the street to Shudson Park.

Did I tell you this last week? No, no, no, no. I think I've heard this story about the basketball before. I ran across the street to Shitsen Park. Shitsen Park is an old fucking German place. Shitsen Park. That I grew up with. It's a banquet hall and then they have a soccer field.

And when I was a kid, we played baseball back there, but every once in a while the chef, they called him the cook or something, the chef or whatever. He'd come back there with a hacker and a dog. And sick the dog on you. We'd be with motorcycles back there, but they also had a soccer stadium, and they had, what's that metal that you sell sheet metal? As a roof.

So people could sell them to the sheet metal. When we found out, we got to build a sheet dog. If you go to that stadium right now, if it rains those motherfuckers are fucked. We took every piece of fucking sheet metal there. One piece at a time. We'd go up there.

We were 13. We knew nothing about nothing. But we knew if we got a piece of sheet metal, we could chop it four ways. It's $25. bucks when you're fucking 13 that's a little bag of refa eight pack of beer a couple hits of acid pretty smart yeah maybe an album and shit so we went back there it was a german place i ran in there just known so i hid behind a snow pile and i took like a bottle and waited for him to

drive but he never came in you had a bottle just waiting to crack just ready to throw it at him with the window open and run get them good and run the fucking run or maybe call the cops or whatever see he didn't know the back of that uh place like i knew I had grown up in those fucking woods I caught ringworm every summer I knew those woods like the back of my fucking hand I really did man so if you chased me into those woods you were dead man you were not gonna find me because I knew those woods yeah man it's like Fort Jackson South Carolina man I grew up on Fort Jackson South Carolina for a long time and man the woods over there that was like our home that's your home that was our stomping ground you know everything you know the forts in there we knew all the little trees where the creek was where to cross the creek everything man It was cool. Somebody chases you? They're fucking done. They're putting in the traps and stuff.

Well, it's tough now. I mean, we just got that picture today on Twitter. Stuff changes all the time. Do you think you could still go in those woods? Like, we got that picture of hashways. That's now something. Yeah, it's a Cuban place. It's a Cuban place.

I knew that. I didn't go into it. Nobody has gone into that Cuban restaurant because it was like a 40-year restaurant in my hometown, like a deli. And there was a liquor store deli, and they opened up a Cuban place in there. And nobody's got. Like everybody I talked to a cash raise and I know it. Have you been to the noon? No, no, I drive by.

I never see anybody in there. People won't go in there because it meant so much to us. It was like Arnold's and happy days. Where did you grow up? You grew up everywhere, right, brother? Man, you have a good memory, Joey. No, I don't. Yeah, I did.

I was born in L.A. My mom remarried. My stepfather was in the military. We moved to Germany, South Carolina, Belgium, back to Germany, back to South Carolina, then I'm in L.E.

I remember you telling me stories as a kid in Belgium. That's fucking great. How old were you when you were in Belgium? In Belgium, man. I didn't even know what Belgium was when my dad was like, we're getting stationed in Belgium.

I was like, Belgium. What language do they speak? They speak two different languages. They speak French, and they speak Flemish. Flemish. Flemish, yeah. In the different regions, you know.

I think Flemish is a combination of like Dutch and somebody's going to How long did you live there for? Four years, man. Four years. So I moved there. That's the first place you smoked refill.

That is the first place I smoked for them. And they have hash and everything. Oh, you're kidding me, man. And you know, like in Europe, that's all they smoke. Right, it's hash. That's all they smoked, man. So, yeah, that was the first thing I smoked was hash. Because, I mean, Amsterdam was only two hours away.

So, like, when I moved to Belgium, I was just like, what do people, what do we do here? And people were like, oh, we hang out in bars. I'm like, what are you talking about? Well, there's no drinking age. It's just like, that's the culture. You know what I mean? How old were you at that point? 14 years old, man.

So, like, it's not even lying, man. You can ask any of my friends on Facebook from Shape, Belgium. We were hanging out in bars on the weekend, man. Hanging on bars, we would take the train two hours away to go to Amsterdam, hanging on Amsterdam for the weekend, stay at a little hostel. Sometimes even just, like, stay up all night or sleep in a little corner on a street or something, you know? But yeah, man, that's all they smoked over there was hash.

And then they had these little bars outside of the, the base that we used to hang out in. And you know what's crazy is like just about everybody smoked, everybody drank and everything. But everybody in my high school graduated. There was like no teenage pregnancies. There were no fights ever. Isn't that crazy?

You think because of the Rifa? I don't know, man. I've never smoked to, smoke to join or anything and then wanted to punch somebody in the face. Me neither. Me neither. It's the worst. When you get high and somebody ruins your fucking high

with a dumb shit. I was just sitting here mind my own fucking business. What was it like when you, because you said you came back and forth to the U.S. a couple times. After being a 14 year old in a bar and doing that and then

coming back and 14 year olds are going on play dates in the backs of vans. Like, was it weird? Man, it's different. It's culture shock because I lived in, I lived from 14 years old through like 19 years old

in Germany and Belgium. So everything is this, man, it's like, culture shock. So for eight years, I was over there. And then I went right back to South Carolina, which is like the Bible Belt, you know. So it was different, man, you know, it's different. And I had just barely turned, and I was just, I was 20 years old when I moved back to South Carolina. So then, um, I couldn't even drink at that time. And I remember, my, my brother-in-law took me to a strip club whenever, when I turned 21. Yeah. So it's different, man, you know.

Like I've been, I've walked around Amsterdam from the time I was 14, the strip club, isn't really that exciting it's really weird when you change cultures like i always tell lee lee we grew up in a big place like he grew up in boston i grew up in jersey you know i was in that fucking big city every goddamn day so it's really weird when i left new york i stopped doing a lot of this shit i stopped doing because i wouldn't get the satisfaction boulder and colorado had other things to offer me other than new york so you have to when you went in rome you know what i'm saying Yeah. You know, when I went to Boulder at first, and I went to asthma at first, I'm like, I'm not going to ski.

And I'm like, what am I an asshole? Yeah. What am I a fucking asshole? I'm coming back here with this mentality, you know? Yeah, yeah. Like when I went to Sarasota that time, I got in trouble as a kid when I was 19 and had to go on the lamp for a few months. And I went to Sarasota. I was in shock.

Like, the kid I was staying with was my age and we had gone to high school together. And now he's living in Sarasota. and he had gone to high school in Sarasota for like three years and I went to visit him and it was like this is what you fucking do he's like yeah we go to the beach and sing songs are you fucking crazy are you fucking retarded you know it was so weird the culture shock

like when I went from even New York City to Snowmass Village and I would go to those bars at night and I'd go this is not going to work this is not going to work I know you don't remember but did your mom ever talk about going from Cuba to New York City because I can't imagine you were what six three three from Havana to fucking Manhattan

Wow Could you imagine I wish you had a journal or something I don't remember shit I don't remember nothing Like nothing like this I remember looking at a beach That's it That's all I remember about Cuba

A beach when I was a kid I had more memories Like I would tell my mom I remember my dad And Cuba driving but Now that shit's gone Cuba definitely want to Cuba It's supposed to be one of the top places to go for single men. Yeah, because you could fuck hookers for $2.000.

Is that why? I thought it was just easy to find a girlfriend over there or something. No, no, there's no girlfriends over there. The girlfriends you meet stay over there, unless you want to bring back some chick that Lamar Otomi ate two years ago on the ranch, and now as they shipped her back to Cuba, they get rehabbed and shit. Yeah, man. You know what?

I think I had the most culture shock is whenever I moved from South Carolina to L.A., man. I was just, I was like, wow. people could sense that I was so wet behind the ears, man. But when I met you, I banged you for East L.A. right off the fucking bat. Like no question. Did you really? Right off the bat.

And then I was going to the guy and the guy said you had a school somewhere. So I'm like that. You know, the guy that's hurt right now. The big guy. Oh, Anthony, Anthony. Yeah, yeah. And he said he trained with you before. Yeah.

And so I saw him. He's a Mexican-looking dude. You're a Mexican-looking dude. I put together East L. You think I look Mexican, really? Yeah, sometimes. I never get that, man. I never get that.

In your voice? People ask me, you know. What do they fucking ask you? I'm like a, I'm like a chameleon. I've had people think I was Armenian. So I think you're Armenian? When I tell people I'm like, I'm half Mexican and have Spanish. So they're like, really, I wouldn't have guessed that.

I've had a guy tell me I thought I was Filipino. Because my dad, my dad actually looks like he's Filipino. He could pass for a Filipino. He's like shorter and darker than me. But yeah, I had the most cold. culture shock whenever I moved from South Carolina to L.A. In which way? I'm sorry. Man, I just, you know, I've never been around gangs.

I never been around crime or anything, man. And like, when I moved into my first little pad over here, my pad was Robb. And I just remember, like, coming home and I had this new DVD player. And every time I would drive home, man, there would be like these two little cholo's just like sitting there, like looking at me like this. And I just be like, what are these fools doing? They're casing out my pad, man. They're casing out my pad.

So when I came home one day, man, all my stuff was gone. Well, it's scared. When you're moving here. They know, man. They're smart, dude. They're smart. But then, like, I got lucky when I moved here. Or they just got to west of L.A.

Like, no, because you'd look for apartments and it'd be like Baldwin Hills. Or, like, I know Compton's not good, but there's some areas that, like, aren't good. And there's no, like, there's, there was a guy apparently when Paul still lived in, my girlfriend lived in Englewood. She was like, like, as white, like me and just moved in there to go to college. In the wood. Yeah. I don't even think I've ever been. Yeah, maybe I have.

Did you like the South? Because I only got to spend like a week or so in the South. I drove through it. I loved everyone. Everyone was so nice and laid back. It seemed great. Probably because you're white. That's also probably true.

That's probably like I lived there as a kid too. Like we forgot about like I was born here. We moved to Germany. We moved to South Carolina. So we lived in South Carolina for like seven years. So that's whenever I was like that's when I started getting like I really felt like a lot of racial tension over there. people would always ask me like, what are you? You know, they didn't know because it was either white or black over there, you know.

It was, you know, I had my, you know, it was a trip, you know, I got bullied a lot too. And that's what it led to martial arts and everything too. So, but I mean, it's pretty boring, man, you know? I mean, it's just a different, it's just a different, um, whole different lifestyle out there, man. I like L.A. You know, as soon as I came out to L.A., I was like, this is where I was supposed to be the whole time. Because, I mean, this is where my roots are anyway, you know. despite the robbing.

Yeah, yeah. Well, I was born here. You know, all my family's from here. My mother and my father were from here, you know. My sisters were born out here as well, you know. When did you get into martial arts? How old were you? Man.

Like nine, like nine, ten. Over there. Yeah, in South Carolina. And the whole reason was I was getting bullied all the time, man. The brothers used to kick my ass, dude. I don't know why. I was like the little Puerto Rican. I think it was because the sisters liked me.

You know, I was like the little cute Puerto Rican boy, you know? I was a little curly hair. I used to have hair, by the way. Everybody goes like, when they see me with hair, they're like, oh, Professor, you had hair before? I had hair. I had a lot of curly hair, man. So black girls used to dig me, man. And I don't know why, but, man, I used to get my ass kicked.

I used to come home crying all the time. And my parents, you know, my dad, my stepfather, he was like from the avenues. And he was like the fighter. He was the fighter guy. He boxed a little bit, so he would knock fools out. So he knew how to fight, you know, and he was a tough guy. And my mom, too, she was crazy. You know, she was from Dogtown.

And they used to get really pissed off, man. They used to be like, why don't you fucking fight back? You know, you got to fight back. And I'm like, oh, I'm scared. I'd be crying and shit, you know. And then they know, like, I think I was scared because they were black too, you know, like, you know, intimidating. It was very intimidating for me, man. They're like, you know what?

Everybody bleeds red. My mom would say, you know? And then finally I came home one day, man, crying again. And they're like, that's it, man. You know, you got to stick up for yourself. We got to do something. So they took me at that time, taekwondo was blowing up. Taekwana was just, it was like on the verge of blowing up.

So they took me to, um, Morland's Taekwondo Academy. And Master Morland, he's this black guy that lived in, he was stationed in Korean in the army. And, um, he spoke fluent Korean, man. And he was, he was like a master of Taekwondo, man. He used to come pick us up in his little taekwondo van on base and pick all the kids up in the neighborhood. He would take us over there, train us. He would kick our ass, and then we'd all be crying in the van on the way home.

Like we're all like such little wusses, man. It was funny. We all were like, ooh. Because he would spar with us, man. And when I look back, we were just, we were just pussies, basically, man. We were just whineering. We were little babies, man. You know, he never, we thought he was beating those over.

He really wasn't, man. We were just, like, scared, you know? But, man, he toughened me up, man. It took me a couple years because even after a, taking Taekwondo for a couple years. I still hadn't really grown up and got that confidence yet, you know? So I was like a late bloomer, man. But yeah, I did Taekwondo with Master Morning for like the whole time I was in South Carolina and Hopkito.

And then we moved to Belgium. I did some taekwondo over there. Played a little football, played a little baseball. You know, partied a little bit. Moved to Germany. And then I would train at like little local schmokal places. you know at little clubs here and there but it's the one thing that i kept it with my whole life and as soon as i got back to l.A i went right back with my old master master moreland he's in

Atlanta now shout out but he was like legendary in south corner they used to call him gus man because he kicked like a mule like he used to get one of those heavy bags and it was so impressive used to even impress my dad who could fight you know he would kick the bag man so hard you have you ever punched a heavy bag yeah this guy would kick the heavy bag so hard in the middle it would fold in half man i still can't do that to this day you know but they used to call him gus man he was like he was pretty legendary back there but he's um he was awesome man i have some really really awesome marriage with that guy man he was like a good very good looking black and you know he looked like Marvin gay man and he could sing like him too

but now he looks like Marvin gay with dreads now he's awesome though man i still i still like aspire to be as great as him he you know he's even hopquito and taekwano man he's stephen seagal your ass you know for real he gave you a black belt he gave me my black belt yeah man And then when did jiu-jitsu come into the game? Jiu-jitsu, man. I'm going to say probably like around 94. What happened was like, you know, I had already had a blackballed taekwondo. I had a brown-black and another Korean martial art called Cooksul.

So at that point, I had plenty of street fights. And I won mostly like all my athleticism and my speed and stuff. I don't think I ever used actual taekwondo or hot-kido techniques in a street fight. But what happened, I started. bouncing at this bar on Columbia South Carolina called group therapy. And I got lucky, man, and I escorted some guys out like Steven Segal style, you know, like that. So then after that, the head bouncer would always like want me to escort people out just so they can see Joey like Steven Segal people, you know?

And so this one night, man, I'll never forget to this day because it changed my life forever, man. It was packed. And Scott Finnelli was like, Joey, watch this guy right who's causing a lot of problems. and he was like when I give you a signal and I said hey man you got to get out of here you know because you're causing too much trouble and he was like if you you know

blah blah blah blah blah I'm like listen man I'm going to escort you out and he's like fuck you try it you know and I don't even know how we wrestled outside of the door but as soon as we got outside on the concrete he took me to the ground and he mounted me man

and I had never done anything on the ground before man ever I'd never been in that position before and I'll never forget he was in full mount he cocked his arm back to punch me and I just remember going helpless. I was like a fish out of water I was just totally helpless and I was going I'm going to get my face pounding in

and I'll never forget this guy Scott Swindle he was a bartender. He must have hopped over the bar and he grabbed that guy's hand in the last minute and I was just like and then all the other bouncer were just kind of looking like damn that guy was about to beat Joey's ass you know what I mean? And I was just like wow man I couldn't I couldn't sleep, you know, and I started questioning everything I ever did.

And I was like, you know what, man, I don't think I know how to fight, you know. I don't think I know how to fight. What the hell is? You know, I have all these black belts and I can't fight. Like, that's crazy. Some crazy redneck guy was about to kick my ass, you know? So then I started researching martial arts and I think it might have been like black belt magazine or something. And I saw this ad fight like a Navy SEAL.

And I was like, you know what? If it's good enough for the SEALs, it must be pretty damn good because the SEALs are some bad motherfuckers, you know? So I ordered those VHS tapes. VHS taped. And all he was in, this guy, Frank Cucci, man. He was a Navy SEAL. He was still Team 6, man. The legendary Sill Team 6, man.

Still in awe of this guy, man, of what he's done and everything, you know, and how he served our country and stuff. Anyway, he probably doesn't even remember who I was, man. I had a hair back then and everything. I sent a message on Facebook and he never replies. He's probably like, who's this fucking guy, you know? But, man, that guy changed my life. Like, I got his videos.

And in the video, he's just teaching, like, Muay, Jiu-Jitsu, and some Filipino stick and knife fighting like collie because I guess, you know, seals have knives and stuff like that. And I was like, wow. I was like, I never seen people kick each other in the legs or I never seen like Muay Thai before. I never seen Filipino martial arts. And I was like, this is some crazy shit. I never seen Jiu-Jitsu man on the ground, you know? I was like, wow, this is crazy, you know?

Did you know it was Jiu-Ditsu that he was doing on you or no? I did just because he was talking about it in the video, you know? Oh, I meant like when you got attacked or when the. guy mounted you no no no no no that guy that was like just street style man he was he was just like one of those short cocks strong motherfuckers man you know like just like I locked onto him I remember going god damn this guy's strong you know I don't even know how I got out the door but I don't know what he did to take me down I don't even remember how how I got to the ground man it was just so it was just like I was like what the hell's going on man I didn't know anything about jiu jitsu I never

heard of Brazilian jihadist I never heard of fighting there was a martial art that focused on the ground. You know, that's how I was just in this little whole, like, I thought Korean martial arts were the best martial arts. You know what I mean? I was just all Korean martial arts. I was eating kimchi all the time and shit. But it just so happened that Frank's gym was in Virginia Beach, and I started dating a Filipino girl that was up there. And I was like, oh, man, I'm just going to kill two birds of one stone. So I started taking lessons from him. And that's when I started my Jiu-jitsu and Wutai Journey. And back then I was doing some Filipino stick and knife fighting.

And I would drive up to Virginia Beach. And then I had a couple friends that I was like, hey, man, let's work on this shit. You know, this guy Philip Willis and another guy that has a gym. He's had a gym over in South Carolina for a long time, Mark Mills. And I pretty much, if you ask Mark, I think I was the first person doing Jiu-Jitsu in South Carolina. There was nobody doing Jiu-Jitsu in 94. He wasn't even doing it. He was doing like Dan and Asanto stuff, you know?

Like, you know, Dan grew up Dan, he does a little bit of everything, but they were doing more like shoot wrestling and stuff like that. You know, so he did a little shoot wrestling, but, you know, Jiu Jitsu is a far superior grappling earth than shoot wrestling, you know, it's a little bit more developed. So like at that time, like the little Jiu-Ditsu I knew, I could tap him, you know what I mean? And I ain't know shit. Dude, I just knew like six moves, you know what I mean?

Because that's all I would do. He'd give me three moves. I would videotape him and come back and we'd work on those three moves. move. You know what I mean? But we got really good, man, because we would master those three moves. You know what I mean? I could arm bar anybody back then, you know? But yeah, so that's how I started, man. And then I was reunited with my biological father after like 26 years, which brought me back out here. Turns out he was like a world-class boxer. It was crazy, man. It's crazy. I'm going to write a book one day. I'm giving you like the short version.

So then I came out here, my dad taught me how to train me to box for a couple years, and they opened the Machado Academy, and then I started with them, and Hegan gave me my blue belt. We were just talking about Hegan. And then I continued my tutelage with Hajer. And it took me like more or less, like almost 20 years. I mean, you know, I had to stop for a couple years for certain reasons, you know, but I started 94, and 20 years later I got a black belt from Hajer, you know.

I had to take seven years off because I fought professional MMA for like seven years, you know. I didn't have time to train Ghee. you know, I had a full-time job and I was fighting and running a gym too, you know. But yeah, that's when I started, like probably back in, like when I was 10, jihitsu back in like 94-ish. I'm really bad with days, man, so. No, it's a long, man. As long as it's crazy. It's really crazy.

You brought something up that's really interesting is like, let's say you learn traditional karate. Mm-hmm. And you go there three, four times a week, your spa, you go to tournaments, and you go there, for seven years, eight years, nine years, you get your black belt. And you leave there feeling like, you know, same thing with Taekwondo or Hopkito. You know, and that's why, years ago, I was 418 pounds. I joined Weight Watch. I didn't know what to do.

But my life was everywhere. I had just cleaned up into drugs. I said, you know what? My life went down to tubes when I quit martial arts. I'm going to give it a wish. And I really looked into a program. You know, I really looked into different. programs. And I was sold on

Kempo. I really like the Kempo. It's not a bad martial art. The old school Kempo. Like what? Ed Parker? Yes. With the leg, the guy, I talked to him. I talked about him when Frank Meir was here. My buddy called. He goes, hey, he wants you to call him. I think he's mad at you for talking about.

There's a guy up in Frank Santos, and he teaches a real old school type Kempo. And his teacher was one of the Ed Parker guys that went to jail for murder. and like Glendale, some David something. And I like that style. But it was only two days a week, and it was at odd times. And I said, I got to get something.

And then I was interested in the program, but it was all the way in Marina Del Rey. And that's just not, when you live in Hollywood, that's just not going to work for me. Yeah, but Hollywood, man, that's like, I mean, LA is kind of like the mech of martial arts. Oh, mech and martial arts. Yeah, so they didn't have anything closer? No, I found this. I was shooting this 100-all-day movie. I didn't want to fucking shoot.

I read Neg Donutton since day one. They want to do rehearsals and shit. And I'm like, for a hundred dollars a day, dog, Matt Flavor, don't do rehearsals. All right, I ain't rehearsed. I just show up and I fucking do it. And I saw some dude, I said, I told him there's a little blacks dude

and he told me he's been training, you know. And I go, where you go? And he goes, I go to this style. Nobody's really heard. It's called One Hop Quindo. Oh, no, I know who that is. That's like, One Hopquindo. That's Mark DeCoccus.

Mark the Gascas. The Coscus. Only the strong. So I went to a guy that he had, it was the Cascas' father's first black belt. It's two brothers. It was his father that, that developed that martial art, right? That developed that martial arts, which is a great martial art, and I tell you what. I have no.

It's the same thing you're talking about. What it is, is what this fucking guy did was he took boxing to start off with, okay? He took boxing, he took some circular stuff from Kung Fu, like, kicks. He also took some stuff from Thai. So you move to the side and you kick the leg. A lot of leg kicks in this. He threw some tempo in there. So after you kick the leg and you land, the knee hits that spot and you tricked the guy, you know, he took a couple nice kicks that keep you interested, but everything's very low. Everything in that school is the waist down. The only thing that comes at you is a straight side kick to the solar place. I mean legwise, kicking way.

Legwise, yeah. Everything is very conservative in that art. And, and And for a month at a time, there's times you go there and they give you sticks. And it's a fucking drag. But you do everything with the sticks. And there's a whole process to it. He teaches you range. First he gives you sticks for a month, then he gives you knife for a month. Then he makes you do the same movements with your hands.

So it was really weird that I had been a Subbac Doe guy for six years. I had been a Goju Karate guy. I learned Hitchin-Roo karate for six years. and not one fucking person ever mentioned range. But the other thing he had in this art was that he finished you off half jiu-jitsu. The problem with this guy was he was 53. He had studied all this stuff,

and then six years ago they added jiu-jitsu into the mix. Simple stuff, side control on Americana. You know, side-control or choke. But nothing was taught with good technique. Nothing was really taught. My point is, that at least this guy taught something. One hop when, though, I was very, I think about him a lot.

He's on my Facebook page. I really do. I think of him a lot. Hey, man, you know what? It sounds like he was a pretty smart guy. The problem is his class, he's black. So the class starts to 10, but he don't show up to quarter to 11. I'm supposed to be out of there by 1130.

We're still doing jumping jacks on 1130. Some days you walk out of there at 1.15. That's good some days when you're bored. Yeah. You know, he's such an old school. martial art is that there's really no clock. Oh, man. People just bowing out.

After like two hours, people start bowing out. But my point is that it's so funny. His little fucking class has made me fall in love with Jiu-Jitsu. That's cool, man. Yeah, yeah. I was friends with Eddie for all that time.

But his, you know, because sometimes you try to take the guy down. So kick, again. I remember doing it going, oh, my God. If I ever gotten to this situation, I'm a dead man. I was 418 pounds. I couldn't do anything.

And it took me a year after I quit that because we moved. We moved to the valley. And again, I started getting busy. I started shooting my name is Earl. And I'm getting there at fucking 10 o'clock stretching out at quarter to 10. And, you know me, dog. I try to get that 10, 15 minutes early. Yeah, that you do, man.

You want to stretch out a little bit. And this guy's showing up. He showed up at 10. But all so when we get into a talking challenge with the whole class, people come visit him. That would drive me crazy. People come visit him when he's teaching. You can't come visit Alberto when he's teaching

And Alberto's going to talk to you You got a whistle and you want to show him pictures That would not happen at like a show show But let me tell you something His fucking style is what I'm saying That was I was thinking about what would happen to you And now when you go to different karate tournaments And you go what do you think of Wanda-Owondo

All the people laugh at those guys They go their tournament guys You know why their tournament guys Because that's how they train you to be Yeah everything is real quick Sidekick punch backhand Yeah yeah yeah Take down, boom, you're out of that.

For sure. Who the fuck knows what the fuck? Now, kettlebells. When did this come into the picture? Cettlebells. What was my shirt say? 2009. Probably like a, this is, I think that's when I released my first DVD.

Probably a couple years before that. I had first open my gym, SoCal, M.MA. So I really like the first real MMA gym in the Northeast L.A area. And I had this little tiny gym in, and had this one business, I had a bunch of business partners with that gym, man. That was a freaking nightmare. But Bill, Bill Stabber. He was like really awesome business partner, man.

And we're just trying to figure out ways to attract people, different boot camps to have. I was already doing like a little boot camp, you know, and I had my own little repertoire of stuff I did. But, you know, he was smart. He was trying to attract people. So he was like, why don't we get a kettlebell coach? And I was like, man, that's a good idea. I was like, I've seen those things. I was smart enough to know that you needed instruction for it.

You know what I mean? I didn't know what to do with one of those things, you know? So then he got this one guy. He did some research and he found some guy that was certified by a certain kettlebell organization, you know. And he came in and he showed his like five moves, man, you know. That's what we did for like six months, like five moves. And like at first people thought it was cool and I thought it was just awesome. I never did the kettleball swing.

When I first did the kettleball swing, I was like, wow, man, this is a freaking crazy exercise. I was like, I love this exercise. Like, how do I not know this exercise? And he showed us a Turkish get-up. And right away, I was like, man, this is just like doing, the first time I did the Turkish get-up, I was like, doing the technical lift that we call it in Jiu-Jitsu.

I was like right away, I was like, cool, I dig it. But we never really did anything else. And then people stopped coming to the class. And I was just like, you know, I just light bulb popped up in my. head one day and I was like, I think you could do some judicious moves with this kettlebell thing, you know? And I started researching different kettlebell instructors like Steve Maxwell and Steve Cotter. Those guys are really, really awesome, you know, like they're like my influences, you know.

And they were doing stuff a little bit different. Steve Cotter was doing some like, some martial art influence stuff back in the day, but he's like a little bit more sport now. Well, he's really into the sport aspect of it, you know, but back in the day who I could see he was like experimenting with the whole martial art as the martial art connection to kettlebells but nobody was really doing anything really just like I thought that was just like making kettlebells like the star of the show you know I was like you can do so many things with this and um yeah so I started experimenting with it with it and I started developing different movements with it and then um I was looking for some kettlebells to buy and I stumbled upon this website my mad methods and these guys had videos and I was like

wow, these guys are thinking outside of the box a little bit. You know, they weren't doing what I was doing, but they were still doing different things. I just, I realized in the kettlebell community, people were afraid to do something different other than those five moves, you know, because that's how these people kind of programmed them. You could only do the moves. All you need is these moves.

Swings. Trish get up. Swings, deadlift, trickish get up. Snatches are like the be all. Clean, price. Yeah, this real basic, real basic, nothing really fun. And they weren't really putting together. I always felt like I got a workout from.

the waist down. I never felt like it was incorporating a lot of upper body and stuff like that. And I wanted things to be more like MMA style because that's what I, at the time I was still, was I still funding MMA? I think I may have just retired or whatever, but I had an MMA gym. I wanted to be like an MMA workout. Like, you know, the circuit train was really in with mixed martial artists, you know, making everything anaerobic, you know, so that's how I wanted to do it. So that's how I started making my workouts, you know, incorporating all your body. You're pushing, you're pulling, you're using your legs, you're using your core. You know, that's how it is when you're fighting.

You're using everything. So that's how I wanted to structure the workouts. And I did. Anyway, I met Mark. I bought kettlebells from him. And then I was like, hey, man, I've been developing this program I call kettle jitsu or whatever. I'd like you to see some of the moves and tell me what you think, you know, because I knew he had been doing kettlebell stuff long before me. And I started doing some stuff on the ground and he was just like, his eyes, he said, you mind if I film it?

I was like, no, go ahead. And he was like, and his eyes just got big, and he was like, dude, we need to do a DVD. And I was like, really? I was like, cool, man. I was like, really? I didn't know if he was serious. I was like, really?

DVD? I was like, wow, man. That's like huge, you know? So we did, man. And we, my first DVD was called Combat Kettlebell Systems. And, I mean, we weren't like P90X status, but man, nobody had ever seen anything, anything people doing jihitsu, a kettlebell moves on the ground, Jiu-Jitsu move and people that had never seen anything on the ground other than the Turkish

get-out really, you know? So I know you can't get on like the table and do a move, but is it like, are you doing Oh yeah, maybe do it like, like, is it like, explain what a move would be? Look up combat cannibal system. Can you do that? We might get pulled down even though you're here. Oh, no, don't worry about it then. But yeah, you can see the, if you've seen the video, but like one of the first moves,

I think was hippis, the hip escape. We were just talking about the hip escape. Right, my master Hajar always called it a snake move. Well, I always see you, you hold the kettlebell right here, and you get in the basic position, and you just do a hip escape and push out a little bit. Is that what you're doing? Yeah, yeah, you could do that. So your hip.

You could do it like that. You could do it. How many times on each side? Oh, man, you know, like, there's so many different ways you can structure workouts, you know? You could do it for reps. You could do it for time, you know? You could do the circuits with it. You know, you could do so many different ways, man.

It's just, like, really, like, kettlebell and body weights. is kind of like, almost like a blank canvas, man. You could just do so many things, man. It's just really only limited to your imagination. Now, explain the body weight side to me. What kind of exercise are those? Body weight, man. The same thing, the same concept I use is just,

I try to make all the training, like, use as many muscles as possible to make it like fighting. Because, you know, like in jihitsu, after your role, man, you've used just about every muscle. So that's how I structure. I'm a structure. I kind of combine traditional, body weight standards and I mix it up with

like sports specific Brazilian jiu jitza movements you know and combined them into different flows and different circuits and you know I could just go on man it's kind of hard to explain you know but um do you still incorporate swings too or is it all oh yeah yeah yeah for sure man for sure swings but like you know like I do a lot of different swing variations

like I mean you're your basic you know your basic swing variations yeah Like what? One hand swing, two-handed swing. There you go. You know the name's good, man. Like, that's better. Like, Joey's like that thing, that thing.

No, but, uh, that one thing that I do. The fucking thing, you know. That's what I can go. Like, I never, I never know what he's talking about because he's always like, you know, I do that one thing when you do this. I do that other thing. You know how that movies how they have like a puzzle and it like slowly reveals itself? That's what Joe, like he gets through it.

He's like the thing. The thing with the kettlebell. Is that your word thing? I don't know. I have to, listen, like I tell people, after 1 o'clock you're on, you're wrong. It's gotten earlier than 2 o'clock. Yeah, it's all over. I'm 53.

The endurance has gone down, you know. Yeah. Used to be after two, like, I get calls. And I remember, you called me at home at 5. You're doomed. I'm sitting on that chair without my schedule in front of me. I don't know what you're talking about, but then it's happening. And you'll just yes, I'm in death.

That's my bad. That's your next shirt, please. Yes, him to death? You got a yes to him to death. What else? Yes, and the death. That thing. That's another shirt with a kettlebell.

That thing. Yeah, but what I like, what you're asking about swings. Yeah, I do do swings, but just doing like those swings alone get born swings, one-handed swings. So, like, I like to do, I like to mix it up, man. You know, try to incorporate, like, walking swings, hopping swings. Walking swings, brother. Do you still swing through your legs? Yeah, man.

But you take a. step forward as you swing. You pop your hips up, take a foot, step forward, and then you do it again, and you go back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. Like, if you go on my Instagram, just look up kettle jitsu, you guys can see me doing just about all kinds of crazy stuff with kettle balls, you know? And then, like, I love high pools, man. You know how to do a high pole? Like on the way to the snatch? Yeah, yeah. And that's like how traditional people teach it. Like it's a precursor to the snatch, but the way I do it, I do it more like you're throwing a punch. So what you're doing it.

doing is you're popping your hips and you're retracting your arm back driving it and then you're punching it back out so man like after you do like high pulls like that man shadow box and see how faster hands are you know it's it's it's doing the same movements that you use when you're punching man so i throw punches with the kettlebells too so but from a fighting stance so i do swings from like a fighting stance i do high pulls from a fighting stance 10 pound kettlebells you know like i mean you know man like people like put so much emphasis on way i think i probably do uh punching like 12 kilograms six kilogram oh excuse me 16 kilogram that's about as high as i go with that 32 pounds you throw a punch you're 32 pounds yeah but you're using you're using the same mechanics as you

do with the swing as well i'm gonna have to send you some footage man i thought you checked out my stuff joey i didn't see that well you know it's yogi steve taught us it's when you go back and you're bringing it up you know on the way to the snatch you just go bam yeah yeah you just drive it you just drive it back. Like, well, like the way the old school people do, then you pop it up and then you just kind of drive your, just kind of drive your knees on the way down? Yeah, yeah, you still hinge. You don't bet you. You still hinge. You still hinge. And you still pop your hips. And then, but that's like the old school where they kind of do it like because they don't really put too much emphasis on the high pole because they really want, they're using that to teach you how to use the snatch more.

But I like to use the high pool as an exercise itself just because there's not too many moves where you can work a pulling, a hinging motion, like a, a, a hingeing motion, like a, swing, a pulling motion like a row, and a punching motion all in one exercise. You know? You're just using a pop, pop, pop, pop. I got to show you how to do it, man. It's a cool exercise, and it's really awesome. And it definitely helps out with your hands.

No, when you're an hour workout, you said something very interesting before. You know, I read, when I first started getting into Calibos, I read that nothing burns more calories than swings. Like swings are it. Yeah. You said before that you're one hour. class burns fucking more calories than is like how many calories you're thinking on one hour with the swings it's you know like this like I think one guy was wearing those heart rate heart rate

monitors and I think we burned like 800 calories like this girl the other night uh my friend Jennifer she um she was wearing a heart rate monitor I think she burned like 500 but she was stopping and stuff like that she's she's nursing like a little this little hip thing but she kept stopping it. She kept playing, she kept fucking around with that, that heart monitor because it kept moving around, you know, so she burned like, like 500. I remember my cousin burned like 800. So yeah, you burn a lot of calories. That's just amazing. Yeah, man, I'm telling you, man, it's no joke, you know, like the swings, you know, like when I remember when I first learned swings, man, I was breathing heavy and I was like, wow, I never did that before. But then, you know,

if you keep doing swings over, two-handed swings over and over and over and over, you know, it's just not going to have that same effect because your body just gets used to it. You know what I mean? That's why you got to mix it up. Mix up and do different things, man. Because your body just gets used to everything really quick. So that's why I'm always doing. Like, say, for instance, this week, what is our swing variation?

This week, the swing variation we're using is just alternating swings. And then next week, or last week we were doing the walking swings. And then, you know, like figure eight. You know how to do figure eight and figure eight to a hole. And then I have another one where I do a hooking punch with a figure eight. It's called a fighter's figure eight. Man, it's just never ending, man. I'm always, I'm always, you know, you know, I'm naturally creative, so I'm always trying to, you know, push the envelope a little bit, man.

You know, I take, I take being a trainer very seriously because people don't want to come to you and do the same shit over and over and over again. You know, that's a fact, man, I've learned that. That's one of the things I learned. I remember the whole reason I started researching other exercise programs and stuff like that was because I remember one of my longtime students, Letty, man. And she was just a beast, man. She was like a really good volleyball player in high school, like 5-11. She kicked like a freaking mule. And she turned to me one day.

She was like, can we do something different? You know? And I was like, whoa, shit, man. You know, I better like step up my game, you know. So I never want to have another student tell me that again, man. Can we do something different? And like, and it hasn't. It hasn't, man, because every week is going to be something different.

You know, so like you might not see that workout that we did this week. You won't see that workout again for another few months. So by the time I teach that workout again, it's going to seem like a whole new thing to those people again. You know what I mean? So that's how I structure. You know, it's variety. Man, variety is extremely important, dude, you know, to retain clients. I have clients that have been with me for like six years that followed me from like Highland Park to Burbank.

And they make that drive, man. You know what? That's a pain in the ass, you know? I drive back and forth like a few times a day, but, you know, it's no big deal, man. But when you have a full-time job, like a regular job and stuff like that, it's tough, man. But I have students that have been with me five, six. six years that drive up to Burbank at 5.30 morning to be with me to train. You know, it's a huge compliment to me, man. I love that, man. Like, loyalty is that's, I love that, man. And that's,

I think that's part of the reason why, because it's always something different, man. You know, it's always something different. You've got to keep things fresh for people, man. If you don't, then it'll be difficult to retain them. And that's why jiu-jitsu is so awesome is because, man, you could never learn everything in jiu-jitsu. You just can't do it, man. It's always going to be something new, man. Always something new. So that's what makes it exciting is like, you know, man, no matter what, man, I've been training 20 years, man, over 20 years. And new techniques are being developed all the time. I went to a meeting.

My game is changing all the time. I went to a meeting a couple weeks ago. And in that meeting, I came up on an idea. I said, you know, there's restaurant critics and there's disc critics. I go, give me a job where I go into any fucking place at San Lazara, big fucking dude in Cuba. Don't go to Cuba and say fuck San Lanzer. They'll find you in pieces in somebody's sandwich. Those are the dogs.

Anyway, it's really weird. I love going to places. Like, if I go to a lumberyard and they don't take care of me the proper way, I don't get mad, but I think about guys like Lee. I think about Joe America who really believes that he's going to go to what's in the colds. I don't know. I'm just saying the name of a hardware store, and they're going to take care of him from A to Z. You know, I have an office.

I don't know. What the fuck to do? How big is the office, sir? You know, it's a big difference of me going, hey, take a look at that and see what you like and walking away. It's the guy that goes, hold on one second. How big is your office? Why do you want to use brick? What kind of lights are you going to use?

I didn't think of lights. Lee. You think of lights? Yeah, I thought about lights, Joe. Remember, I said, oh, fuck you. That sounds like a guy that's taking pride in his job. Taking his pride in his job. I go to a restaurant.

Same thing. I'm watching a waiter. I went someplace the other day. And while I was eating, I knew I was making a mistake. You know why? Because there was fingerprints on the guy. glass. Anytime I go to a place and there's fingerpoints on the glass of a restaurant, that's not good. That tells me that 10 people in there didn't have the initiative to wipe the fingerprints off the

fucking glass. That's a bad move. That means you don't clean the bathroom. That means you don't wipe your ass. That means you leave your house without taking a shower. It all fits hand in fucking hand. Yeah, man. If they're not cleaning the glass, what else are they not cleaning, man? I love going to places and for me feeling at home and comfortable and stuff. You know, V-MAC was very a great Jiu-Jitsu place. It's just my hours didn't accommodate their hours

and vice versa. I feel bad that I can't go there at night, but I'm not a night jujit-to guy. My life is, I have other things at night. Tonight the class starts at 9.15. Yeah, but the time you get out of there, you're walking around fucking breathing heavier. Two in the fucking morning still.

You can't sleep. Yeah. So I got to be on the fucking, you know what I'm saying? I got to be in the fucking plane. So yeah, you're breathing. You ever go to Jitsu really? On the way home, even after you take a shower, you should be breathing a little heavy.

Oh, yeah. When the fighter is giving the fucking interview, even after the fight, 10 minutes, he's still breathing heavy at the fucking press conference. Now he's sweating. Your endorphins are pulling down. You know, so it's true. I can't be up until 2 in the morning.

I get angry. I come in, now I'm thinking about a move. Who fucking says at me? I got to talk to professor about the fucking, what's when they put the butterfly sweep? What's when they do this shit to you? You end up like fucking, they put the arms in your sleep.

What's this thing? That thing. When they put their fucking feet on your... Oh, Sparta guard. The spider guard. You go home all scratching your head. What the fuck was that? I'm not even going to have a protein drink tonight.

You know? It's true. So I've been going over there by you guys. And like I told somebody today, they were like, dog, they have tick fit. They got that. I go, you know what I? Our brother's a genius because if you go someplace else to kick

box and they got Jiu-Jitsu and you like the Jiu-Zitsi you're gonna leave yeah yeah he has everything for you he's smart you can't go in there and say well you know what I just want to do jumping jackson sit-ups I got the class for you show up at 845 we'll do 15 minutes I'll say he's got everything tick fit no gee gee and you leave there and you look at you know an hour all these other schools you know what I don't have an hour a half sometimes but sometimes I do sometimes I got all day to fucking burn time Mondays I don't Monday I got to be in and out of there and in and out of that, you know. And sometimes it breaks your heart because you got, I'm not leaving at 1245.

You know, I'm not leaving at 20. If I can't make the whole class, I just won't fucking go. If I can't get to the beginning, I don't fucking go. I can't walk in there late. That's part of the whole fucking thing. Somebody was telling me they did something. And he was really embarrassed how people, the students, because I showed up and the students were showing up 20 minutes late.

My friend went to Redondo Beach and he took some of his people down to the train and he said his students showed a play he never thought about how rude that is and I go, don't, that's always rude when somebody walks and I get it. There's some people who get off at 12 noon. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But the motherfuckers that come in, you know, it drives me crazy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Funguality, man. Yeah, that's what, you know. It's like a thing of the past, man. And in L.A., it don't work no more. Oh, man, not a day. And L.A. it don't work and they call them call you. Bro, I was talking to a friend of mine.

he's doing a big time show next week and the fucking lady pulled down that's like that's like chris wydman like in a week or so when is it chris widenman's right june second let me check june 4th june 2nd something like that chris wydman and luke rock hold right yeah i got canceled yeah they got canceled luke's fighting bisby june 4th no way man come on dude are you serious oh wow we've been got whiteman got hurt she'll hit like something in his spine like Like a disc or something? Yeah, he got hurt. I really like Chris Wyrne.

You know, I love Michael Bisping, too, man, because that guy, you know. Michael Bisbing gave Anderson Silver a fucking fight. Yeah, man. I don't know who won. I don't know the point system. I saw the knee. I like Bisping, man. You know, what's his name was looking around?

I don't fucking know. But this might be a great fight. I don't think so. This might be a great fight or Rockholds just that fucking good. I think Rockhold is just a freaking monster. But remember, you got Jacaray coming out of next. Yeah, yeah. Hey, man.

I love Jacaray, man. According to Dana White, they said it was going to be Jacqueray, but he just had a menisca surgery. No way, so he injured his... Yeah, but Dana White fought last week. Yeah, yeah. I mean, Dana White. Jackeroy fought last Saturday. So he probably had the surgery on Tuesday.

He's getting ready. He don't want to waste no time. He's going to do one stop shopping for training. We had the knee and fucking trained at the same time. He had a rock old man. Dude, like, his top game is crazy. Like, when he took Leota Machita down, Leota could not get back to his feet, man.

man, he couldn't get back to his feet, man. He pummeled that guy. Same thing when he got Wydebine on the ground. Widevin couldn't do anything. So he must have some crazy, like, top pressure. I don't know what it is, man, but Luke Rockhold, man. He's a monster, dude. He's a monster, dude.

So, man, I don't think, I think physically he's just going to be a lot bigger and stronger than Bisbing as well. He's just a beast. And he's young, man. He's a young, man. He's a young stud, dude. But he's been around in the game for a minute, too, man. it, man. But man, wow, what a disappointment, man. I really wanted to see the rematch, you know, because that Wyman fight, man, the only thing he was doing good until he did that stupid-ass kick,

man, when he did that kick, dude, it wasn't even there, man, that spinning kick. He just must have like one of those brain farts or something, man, because that was just a poorly timed kick. I think he was just maybe a little bit tired and just like, I don't know, but once that kick, he did that kick, that was the end right there. So that was just like a really big mistake right there. I don't like, I don't, I don't know about you. you know i got maybe into six three fights and i got beat up four of them i got like a two and four record but none of them were but none of them were because i gave my back uh-huh i don't know you're talking about on the street or in anything i don't like that spinning back hand

the spinning back i do not like the spinning back kick on the street or in the fucking street whatever because i've seen bro one time i saw a dude in west new york pick up a motherfucker and dump him on his head. Oh, yeah, man. That dude's still squeezing the ball, fucking yelling fucking bingo. I think he could finally pronounce the G now, and that was an 82, right?

I mean, there's so many things that could go wrong. I hate all that back. I hate all that back shit. Spinning back kick in a tournament in fucking Glendale, I'm in. But you're not going to do that spinning black,

you know what I'm going to get his black belt. You got to be like really just really good. And especially today's economy with these athletic motherfuckers They're doing CrossFit and they're jumping fences and shit. They're doing parkour. Yeah, you throw two of those kicks and I start timing that motherfucker and I give it to you. You'll be surprised how many people pick up just from being UFC fans, man.

You know, like there's people that come into the gym. I've seen it a million times, man. Everyone goes to the arm bar. Have you ever trained before? No. And then they're like arm barring and triangle. Last week. Last week.

The Kipp in Portugal. Oh my God. He was motherfucking malling people. He was upsetting one guy. He was like, fuck man, you're not, you didn't just only train four times, man. And this guy is like triangling people and guillotine people. And he's like, just like a wiry cat, man. I think he's like, when you look at him, he's ripped.

And strong. Yeah. He choked me one time. He's young and strong. But he never trained, he never trained jihitsu before he came to the gym. He was like a judicist to assassinate. Oh my God. Killing motherfuckers.

He's tapping all the like all the fundamental guys and telling everybody he's like his third class. No, he's a cool guy. He's a cool kid. He's a cool guy. He's a cool guy. I believe him, man. I think he's just like, he's just a natural, man. I think he's probably seen it before, and then he's just naturally athletic.

And some people just got that, like, that crazy strength, man. You know, like people rolling, like, every person that's roll with him, I haven't rolled with him yet. But they're just like, oh, my God, that guy's strong. But you saw how Tarzan handled him. Did you see how Tarzan handled him? No. Oh, man. Who do you know, you know the little short guy, Benny?

Benny. No. I call him Benny from, Benny from the Bronx. Little short guy, anyway. he had just role with Gil and Gil actually popped his rib because he just had him in guard and like squeezed his ribs real hard. Anyway, I put, I put Gil with Tarzan and Eric's been with me for about three years or so like that.

You know, and then Eric just controlled him, you know, calmed him down, you know, because that guy's a, he's a scrappy cat, man. He's like all over the right. He's like a little mongoose or something like that. He's like fast and quick. And then Eric just like slowed him down because Eric's just fucking little, he's a strong motherfucker, dude. He's a strong guy, dude.

He jack my shoulders. He's bad. I heard yeah no I thought you tapped yourself out when you did no he did he that's why he tapped you no I had I tapped myself because he put my shoulders in fucking limbo like I don't have that type of yoga oh you know what he yeah he gets that position where yeah he gets that position so that's what yeah so anyway Eric controlled him swept him and tapped him and I was like yeah cool man I wanted to see if Eric could solve that puzzle man you know what I mean because I was watching him I was like oh he's just kind of like quick and and explosive you know like that so like people like that you

You got to, like, slow them down, you know what I mean? Just kind of slow their game down a little bit, and then wait for them to make a mistake, and they'll do something stupid, and then you can sweep them or submit them or whatever. But, yeah, man, Tarzan handled it. I know you hear this constantly, and people hear this constantly, but it's a big disappointment in my life. I wish I would have started jihitsu at 40. Oh, man. You're killing me? Jesus, fucking.

I wish I would have wrestled in high school. What a great sweat. How good I sleep at night. you know I get up I got a system now I come home and I put my feet up

real high and I force myself to watch TV or read for an hour and I pee like a motherfucker after that and I try to get it all out

before I fucking get into a deep rep you know what I'm saying then I go in and I sleep for like an hour and a half and I got to pee

but after that first pee I'm good to go till 7 a.m. You got to time that shit when you're an old man you got a time

and shit let me give a shout out We'll finish this guy. There's some more shit I got to ask you. Cool, cool. My main man in Australia, Ali Baas, always on top of it. My man in Bakersfield, Matt Baker Jiu-Jitsu up there. What's up, Matt?

Professor Matt. Bids lapping motherfuckers. Thomas Easter, always making it happen, doing shows over at Marty's all weekend. David Rubio. My girl, Melissa Eva Perez, shows up, doesn't say hello. I wanted to fucking kiss the baby. Matt Stone. Garrison.

Burger, Chad Risa, and Michael Lalo. And as always, my girl, Ouki Spooky, bit-slapping motherfuckers on Twitter as usual, what I'm saying? Uki-Spooky gets a couple Jackson Cokes and you're fucking doomed cucks. So you've got to close your account. You pull a Mike Favorman, you know what I'm saying? Ouki Spooky is an actual person? Yes, she is.

She's one of the Austin high elites down there with fucking Bobby Sharon and my girl down there, the princess. I got to find her on Instagram. Oh, yes, he's on Twitter. I don't really do Twitter. You got to do Twitter. You got to do Twitter. Because what you're doing right now, listen, man, I don't do dick.

That's my brother over there. He knows I don't do dick. I hope not. Yesterday, you had four people watching you. I was one of those people watching the class. Oh, okay, okay. And I was watching how you were mixing the kettlebells with the body weights, sort of exercises.

Yeah, well, I start off with body weight. I start up with body weight. I do body weight first, just, you know, because I think you should master your body first. It's your body, man. You should be master of your body. You know, it's like, so we do that. That way you know you're thoroughly warm before you even touch the kettle of.

Look at the shape of this dude. Five stars in. Look at the shape. You should have seen how he was looking at you. He was looking at you and fear it. Every time you said body weight, his eyes kept getting to be. I hate the movement exercise. Do you?

They kill me. I guarantee you won't hate my stuff, man. I've never had anybody leave my Clap of my class. I don't hate it because of the It's just, it's the stuff where like you like to like a push up and down the floor Oh, you're talking about like like crawling and all that stuff like Yeah, yeah, okay like animal style movements.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Those are tough man if you've never done it man Because you know like all that crawling around like the bear crawls And the different animal stuff that's like awkward It's all like right here man. So like it kills women because women I think are naturally a little bit weaker in the stomach area you know.

so it kills women especially if you give them birth it's tough to recover those muscles after the pregnancy and stuff yeah for sure for sure man that's what my wife was bitching about that those muscles it took her a long time

that's why my wife my wife ordered a 25 pound kettlebell and she still does those Turkish fucking get-ups my wife is hooked on those Turkish get-ups dog it's a good exercise and it's a good exercise she complements it with yoga

yeah she goes to yoga one day the other day she took excuse me It's a good exercise. I just burped the fucking salad. It was tough because we did a class together for a while. And I used to try to avoid those because it was always at the end and he didn't really have to do them. But now where I go, we have to do them every day.

What's that? Like a Turkish get-up every day? Yeah. Three days a week. Three days a week. He goes, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. But the workouts are shorter. Yeah, today was like 30 minutes.

Yeah, the workouts are shorter. And then he does like 15 minutes of stuff. And you're running out of there. There's a lot of strength guys that go in there. Yeah. A lot of people go to competition. I don't do it. I don't do it.

I don't have that, again, like, I don't have that traditional mindset of Turkish guttups like they do. Like, my last download was just all on a whole one-month program on Turkish get-ups alone. Your whole thing? Like, my last download was a one-month Turkish get-up program that leads to what I call the Brazilian get-up, which becomes, like, the technical lift with the kettlebell. You know, so, like, I guarantee you, like, half the traditional people couldn't do one of my, like, like, I'll do a one-hour.

workout on the Turkish get-up alone. I teach it body weight, and then I teach it with the kettlebell. And I break each thing down and you drill each movement that makes up a Turkish get-up by itself until you master the movements. Because it's a weird movement to master. When you teach somebody that technical living in jiu-jitsu, it's just like... It's a nightmare, man. It really is, man.

And I've been teaching the technical lift so much since I've been in... Because it's in the fundamentals program at Legacy, you know? I've always taught it, but, like, I mean, we got 10,000. students at like see you. We've got a ton of students. So I teach it so much and I see it's just a coordination that is really difficult people to get, man. And the technical lift is just like the Turkish get up. So like in order to teach those movements, you have, if you break it down into a few different steps and have a master each little step, then it becomes easier whenever you teach it all together. You know what I mean? Does that make sense? Right. Well, about six weeks ago,

what happened was I went to one of your, went to the lunchtime classes. And as a warm up, you may this do a Turkish get up. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to tell you something. My body went into shop because I started sweating so much. Just the body weight, Turkish kiddo. Just the body weight. You just keep doing them slow, but you may just rotate the leg, the whole thing. Yeah, yeah. So now when I go on the road, that's how I open my workout.

Yeah, man, that's a good word. You do five on each side. Let me tell you some. You're fucking drenz. Or you could time yourself. And I go with the elliptical. Then I go back. That's how I close the work.

And I close it on my back doing the fucking the hip things, escapes. You know, why not? What the fuck? That's your biggest problem. It's your core. Is that sit-up move that you've been doing with the kettlebell? One of Joey's moves? Which one?

When I went to Higgins, one of Higgins' guys did it. He saw me one day struggling with that move to get the Camaro from the closed guard. And he goes, you should do these. But he didn't add anything else. He just had like an eight-pound ball. So my neighbor had an eight-pound ball. He goes, you want him to throw it away. So I've been doing it with an eight-pound ball.

So one day, I took my wife's kettlebell. And I said, let me see if I get done him with 25 pounds. I was in fucking shocked. I was doing them with 25 pounds. And that day, I just did sets of like 15, like five sets of 15. And what is it? Is it sit-up? It's a sit-up?

So you're on your back? I'm on my back. Let the kettle bowl go behind me and then put it up over here, sit up, and then go. Oh, okay. So boom, and do the squat, the hip. It's like six movements. I call that. But you're on your back when you do it.

I'm on my back the whole time. It's a pull over to a press. To a press. Pull over to a press. To a press with a sit-up with a, A little fucking hip escape, not a hip escape, but a hip bump. So I do the whole thing. Oh, you mean like a bridge?

A bridge. Yeah, I do the whole fucking thing. So I do bridge, boom, beep, bop, bap, bha, bha. And you breathe. And at first I was doing them all wild. Now I breathe with the movement. Yeah. You know, so bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam.

And it's not fucking bad. You break the goddamn sweat. Can I please train you? Yes, someday I'll be in there. You do that, let me tell you some. 30 in the fucking morning. Listen, heart attacks happen the most between 6 and fucking 12. Now, they're fucking with me.

Is that a fact? That's a fact, okay? Number two, that's number one. Number two, I take that. My doctor said to me, just take a pill before you fucking go work out. Now I read the other day, the journal. They want you to take one for breakfast and one before you go to bed. So you don't have a heart attack before you go to bed, especially you got sleep apnea.

Me, I'm trying to get off the water before I go to bed. Now they tell me, I'm. I got to drink water before you go to bed so you're not dry at night so you don't get a heart attack. Who the fuck knows? The Journal of fucking medicine from Belgium.

I don't fucking know. I read whatever fucking Google puts up there. Oh, you shouldn't Google. I don't Google dick. I get on there in the fucking mornings. What did you show you up on your computer? Yeah, Yahoo. Whatever that pays.

They always have like a medical advice page in the other day. You got to read that shit. These are new inventions. You know, you got to stay on top of these things. What the fuck? If it says you got to take a fucking ass, I'm taking eyes.

I'm going to... Now I call today. They gave me the surgery for whatever, July, whatever, that Monday. I got to go to the doctor the fifth and do the pre-op. That means blood and fucking lungs and the whole thing.

I'm going to go strong to the... I'm going to go to Jitsu strong to the 11th. Because after the 11th, I really can't do Jiu-Jitza. I can't breathe out of my nose as it is fucking now. Can you imagine with no... I'll blow the fucking...

I can just see me in a class blowing the cottons out of my nose and seeing the blood shoot and just fainting. Alberto Crane, give me the hemlock. No, don't do that on Alberto's new mat. No. I got to switch up different workouts.

So I'm going to just do walking farmer walks with 220 pound kettlebells, walk from here to Glendale and back, fucking shit like that. I don't know what I'm going to do. Because you don't want to get out of jihitsu shape but too long. And it's a motherfucker to go back, dog.

That's when you tap. You go, fuck this. That is what my stuff is all about, brother. All right. So it's me. Hey, man. You know, send me your email and I'll send you my down. Okay, no, no, and then you have the other class which is, let me tell you about, listen, people, everybody has different things in their lives.

Me in the mornings, unless I got an interview or something, I'm pretty wide open. I just don't like moving around too much in the morning because I'm scared of getting car sick. Like, I could get car sick at any fucking time when I drive on an empty stomach. I got to be really, so if I want to be somewhere at eight, I got to get up like a five and smoke dope and eat and eat. some nicotine gum. I got to tighten my body. I've got to clean the cat with a box. I got to make a fucking yogurt smoothie with the,

with the, what do you call that shit? The almond milk. You know, Leo gave me the recipe with the flax seeds. So I get that in me. Then I get my two eggs with the multi-grained bread. I do that for breakfast. Check you all, I mean.

You eat better than me. I don't eat egg whites. Fuck that shit. No. Egg yokes. No, egg whites is just killing America. Egg yolk type of motherfucker.

Let's go straight for the fat. Yeah. Fuck that. It's fat, but it's good fat. Look at the people who are jumping up. Look at those Africans. It tastes better. When those Africans were eating alive by flies, you know what they were, the flies were eating because they were eating one egg a day.

And the flies knew that fat was sweet, yum, yum. The fly is new. Who the fuck are you kidding? Who do you think you're dealing with? Some novice, I know my facts. That's awesome, man. So, see, that's- Wait, wait.

What's Joey like to have as a situation? student. Oh, he's awesome. I don't say two words. I don't think he's, um, he's not, he's not like this, man. He's a good student. Like he, um, when we're training jihitsu, it's about jihitsu for Joey. I mean, you know, like he, he sits there and he pays attention.

He, he, he, he's a good student because he asks questions and he asks smart questions, you know. And yeah, man, you know, he's a very good student, dude, you know, he listens and he's, he's cool, man. He's very, you know, he's always like, Professor Joey, who's, he's, he's, he's, he's You're awesome, man. I love you, do. You know, but... I don't like...

When I went to those classes in Hollywood, let me tell you what happens. I would go to those classes, and I'd sit there and watch actors, actresses and wannabe comics. The Kung Fu class, the One Humphkrundo. It was a great school. He taught a great program.

He had a great program. He has a great heart. He's a great teacher. I'm surprised a lot of fighters having gone in there because the guy knows his shit with range and punch. and kicks and sneaky shit

like you know how to get a backhand in there to score a point but that backhand might knock you to fuck out you know what was I saying here but it was a lot of P I would go in there and it would irritate me when somebody was cute in the class you know what I'm saying like this is what you do outside for a living don't do it in here

yeah yeah don't bring that shit in here when I go in there I want to be a fat fuck in the back I don't mind washing the fucking mats at the end I don't care about that stuff. I'll do it because that's how I grew up in martial arts. And there's a certain way to this. And it improves certain things. Number one being tardiness.

In L.A., once you start getting busy, you're going to notice everybody wants to meet with you for lunch. You're going to learn what it is to fucking be agitated to no end. Yeah, I agree, man. Especially when you have meetings behind that. So I got to meet Leah, too. I got a lunch date at 1230 and Beverly Boulevard. I got to meet Leah 2 here. I got to be out of belly bullet by 1.130.

But guess what? This jerk all don't show up to 1.15. Because there was traffic on the 405. Two hours? You don't say? Two hours? You didn't leave a fucking 10 o'clock like I did cop-sucker? But that's how they lead their fucking lives.

See, they don't give a fuck. So I started doing that also. I started going, well, Joey's going to be fucking late. I'm going to do a good show. And one day I go, why am I doing that? Yeah. I'm going to be early all the time. and I'm going to say something to them at lunch.

Excuse me. So now I'm going to, I got to schedule. They've got to say something because if not, they won't do it again. And some people actually call you after lunch and go, hey, man, you were right. Thank you for bringing that up. I got a bad fucking habit. I got to get my schedule back out or whatever. So I always, you know, I always just try to go in there shut my mouth and learn.

I'm really eager about this. And this is what happens. I'm trying to dive myself into it in the same manner. I took to comedy. That's my secret. You don't go to jih Tzu when you feel good. You go to Jiu-Jitsu and you feel bad. I trained myself to go to...

I was in such a hole. I went to prison. When I came out, I lost a kid with my wife that I would force myself to do comedy when I felt bad. Anybody could go when you win the lottery. Anybody could go down there and crack jokes. It's when you don't feel good.

So there's times like, I'm fucking sore, you know? when you do two shows on a Friday and Saturday, dog, and you stand there for an hour of show and all you're doing is giving out energy, I can't tell you what I feel like when I go back to the room. Sometimes I go back to the room and take a shower, and in the shower, it feels like somebody kicked my thighs. Like, I just stood there for somebody.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they gave me tie kicks because my feet settle into the... You got to fucking take that energy out of the fucking ground. Yeah, yeah. So your feet actually become like gorilla feet and they grow prawns, and they've been, Lock yourself into the ground. Well, they become half-bloods.

Mud bloods and their feet climb into, and that's, a lot of times I catch myself. I'm like, I got to breathe, dog. My fucking legs right now, you couldn't kick them down. I don't give a fucking Van Dam, kick them ten times. He'd break his foot on my fucking thigh. So, it's so weird, I can do that. And I'll get there and I'll wake up on a Sunday and go, when you take those rides leave, when you come with me to Bakersfield,

all those one-hour drives, After I do an hour of comedy and I drop you off, it takes me 15 minutes to climb up the stairs. Because rig-a-mortis sets in. Because usually when you go to jih Tjit-you-stretch out, and by the time you get in your car, you're a little cold and then you drive home, but that fucking 45-hour drive kills me on those nights.

Like I can actually hear my legs popping like, paw, paw, paw. It's that bad. Because when you're on stage, you're really not moving around a lot. You're just kind of sitting there. Oh, I move a lot. No, I move.

But when you move, you got to fucking move. People feel, they sense fear, bro. Oh, yeah. They sense fear. So my movements have to be karate movements. You ever see a band called Bad Company? Of course, of course. Okay, do me a favor.

Put on Bad Company. No, put on Queen VH1 honors. I'm going to show you something. Queen VH. Okay, the singer from Bad Company. Paul Rogers. Paul Rogers is a well-known black belt. Is he really?

I didn't know him, black belt. Bad ass. He beat the fuck out of Simon Kirk. That's why bad company broke up. He broke his jaw with a psychic. I thought I was pretty good with music trivia, man. But he went over the queen. He's 60-something at the time of this video.

Forget about his singing. Forget about his singing. Right there. Yeah, the show must go on. I want you to see his movements. And I want you to tell me. I've never seen this video. Because you fucking fucking around throwing up.

I'm saying. I'm over here smoking dope, holding it down for the savages. Check this out, man. This is a phenomenal. Paul Rogers with Queen. Yes, see, they still tour. Now he's touring with Bad Company. He can't picture his voice with Queen, though, because he has like that rascal voice.

Listen to the songs. Let's rock this up, man. I mean, he has that classic Rod Stewart Raspi voice or whatever, you know. Let's watch his movements. Watch his, look at his body. He's 60-something. Look at the weird. Look at the wig.

Look at the wig. Is that a wig? That's a wig. It's a skunk. Come on. Fresh and imported. What are we living for abandoned faces? I guess we know the skull.

Really? I can't tell, man. These kids in Vegas have no idea who Paul Rogers is at this time. Nah, man. People don't know. No, they don't have any idea. Brian, man, he looks good now. Oh, yeah.

That's his hair, right? That is his hair. Yeah, this is six to seven years ago. He does a bunch of front stances. There you go. He starts doing his little front stances. Wow, he sounds good with Queen. Oh, this dude's a savage.

Sounds good with Queen, man. I just couldn't picture him because Freddie Mercury's voice is entirely different. See, he does front stances. The whole wife. He's doing a little fun. He's fucking. I'm 58 years old. Look at him. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's it. He's about to throw a little karate punch right there. He's a bad motherfucker. He still has his voice, man. He still has his voice. That's awesome, man. Some people, when they get older, man, they start, their voice just doesn't sound insane. But, man, he sounds fantastic.

Don't listen to this motherfucker. You know, this came on live. Yeah, I watched it the first time. When was this? I was still living in Hollywood. I was right here. Like really old. Right here on.

I'm drooling. This is 2008. Got Brian May ripping it up. Yeah, no, no, this is real. Ripping it up right. This was like a Thursday night at the Hard Rock in Vegas. They gave away free tickets. These guys got chemistry, man.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's hard. Like, you know, whenever you get a group and then you take the singer out and you put another singer in, and sometimes it just doesn't work. I got more trivia for you. It doesn't work. They don't all me, man. When Jim Morrison died, he was the, play it.

Don't fucking love it. Look at this motherfucker. Look at it. Are you kidding me? Now he's got him. Look at him. Look at him. One of them, throw, like, a front snap kick or something.

Check out Brian May, dude. Listen to that. Tremendous. Tremendous. Guitar. He can pluck on that guitar, man. He's got, like, a very, you know, whatever. Ryan May hits a chord, you know what's Brian May.

He has a very distinct sound. There he is. Another front stance. Look at his neck. Look at that. Are you fucking getting me? Are you fucking kidding me? Let's go

The show Dang Look at Dave those kids Are like God damn Fuck Britney Spears Yeah

What did we just get hit with We felt his voice Fuck yeah Dude you feel his fucking voice You hear that The crowd was cheering big time man That was awesome dude I have to look that up again

So tell these people How they can learn About kettle Jitru The classes you offer Oh Do you Kettlejitsu dot com man you just look up kettle jitsu anywhere don't be wearing the same shirt as me you make me look

like a half a faggage you walk in here i'm like what the fuck for classes man uh go to www w legacy bjj dot com just that's the spot right there man you know it's an amazing gym i've been working uh for albert o'crania at his gym legacy for like over a year and a half now man honestly man i've never been happier man professor i love professor because he's like he's a perfectionist man like look at the gym man how many jiu-jitsu gyms are you gonna go to that look like that i still haven't gotten full fungus exactly you're not gonna you're not going to you're not going to man because i get home with the fucking soap and everything not going to professor he's he's always hey do you like the new mats man how do you like the new geese you know he wants everybody to be happy

he just wants everybody to be happy and train and i think that's why we get along so well it's because you know we want we understand what it is to be in the gym business and we want people to be happy man you know people come there to be happy and we want to show people good time showing good to have him train and then just leave happy, man. And I really think that he's built like something more than a gym, man. It's a whole community, man, with the cafe next door. We got wheat tie. We got Kettle Jitsu and Tough Girl Boot Camp and...

You often meet Lachista. I was really embarrassed. He was going to buy him on an assayebo because he had just given me two patches. Ah, man, don't... I felt so embarrassed. He's like, so... He's such a giving person, man. He's fucking always giving me shit, too.

He's a fucking awesome guy, man. It's a great place to train, man. You know, so, you know, if it wasn't for that place, I wouldn't have met you. And you still do privates? I do everything, man. Just get a hold of you on. You have a page on Facebook. Yeah, man, I got a personal page.

And then I have the kettle jitsu fan page. I have Instagram. Just look at Kettle Jitsu and it all come up. Everything. We're going to send Lee one day to do the class. Man. How you doing, brother? I got you, Lee.

I'm doing it. I want to make you like body weight training. I'm sorry. Can you repeat the question? It wasn't a question. It was a statement. I want to make you, I want to teach you how to do those things. Those things.

Those things. Okay. Lee's really been best. Lee joined that place just when I joined you guys. What is that place? We talk every morning on the way back and he's having a good time. I'm having a good, you know, Lee went to Jiu-Zitsu with me. He didn't like Jiu-Jitsu.

Yeah, man. And that's what makes the world go around. And not everybody's a fucking Mo-Mo. And, you know, but that's it, man. I really enjoy where you teach. I could feel your heart in it. When you think, it's a great sense of human. My passion.

Like I told Professor Donnie, I go, that, I've been running into years of charlatans, you know, for years. It's so nice to, it takes me 15 minutes to get over there, 15 minutes to get home. Yeah, man. Convenience is everything, man, you know. That's what, at seven days a week, I get off the plane early. I could shoot over there on a Sunday if something goes deep. I still haven't got to another night classes because, like I said, man, my night.

No, man, you get it in. You get it in, five o'clock. Everything changes in my way. You got it in, though, Joey. I got to go do this thing tonight. I got to go pick up the kid, drop her off, eat, stall her, and then shoot up. You listen, man. You listen.

I told you, I think you asked me about training, and I was just like, just be consistent, man. I was like, if you're going to do two days a week, do two days a week every week, you know, if you're going to do three days ago, give yourself a number and just do it, and just do it, make it. You've been doing it, man. I'm going for 13 this month. That's why you got that, that's why you got that crazy side mouth that nobody can get out of. I'm trying. You got a man. It's not a fat fuck.

You had Tarzan on a side mouth for like 10 minutes. Well, I'm trying to play the Higgan game. I'm out and make his arm pop up and pop to Matt Baker. See, I'm trying to do that Matt Baker. The guard from the top. The guard from the top. The side control, Matt Baker style, wait for his arm to pop up, and then I go for the Camaro.

You know Matt? Yeah, I met a Matt at Alberta's, and then one day we met and Matt, you know, and I worked a little bit, and I got to go up there one day when I don't get cars. on a Wednesday at Thursday. He's a great guy, man. He's a great guy, man.

He's a great guy. He's such a nice guy. And, man, he's got some sick jujitsu too, man. He's like one of the top master competitors around. And then that's how I know him, man. It just, I compete so much. And he competes at every freaking tournament. And I respect people like that because people like us,

we're never happy, man. We want to just keep pushing ourselves. Like, Alberto, like, me and Professor Crane are like the oldest people in Burbank. I think we're the most active competitors, man. We just keep professor, man. he's gone and then he just won a tournament in freaking Poland or something like that. You know what I mean? Like, you know, and me, I was just in Rome competing and stuff like that.

I was in Portugal competing or whatever, you know. Like, yeah, Matt, that's how I met Matt. You know, I just always see him at the tournament. I was like, hey, I think I know you. Because he's a Jean-Jacques black belt and I'm a Hajra Machado black belt. Yeah, man, he's a cool guy, man. Very humble. Very humble.

And man, just legit jitsu, man. He's good, man. I dig people like that because people like that really understand Jiu-Sathearts. 5% of short moves. Yeah, man, he's good, man. That's what we were talking about. I was like, you know, like when people reach Black Belt to that level, they got their moves, man.

They got their moves that they do that nobody else does. You know, Matt does a bunch of stuff that I don't do, you know. I'm sure I could learn a lot from that guy. You know, he's really good. So he has his own little game, man. Yeah, man, he's legit. He's good. Cool guy, man.

Really cool guy. Hey, thank you again for coming on. Hey, man. Thank you for having me. It was awesome. And also, if you want to get a professor Joey's kettle jitsu video, They're on it, one of our sponsors. As usual, brother, Alpha Brain, get you to the next level.

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My dick smells like Pete. Who gives a fuck? But now it's 2016. You got to act like a fucking savage. So that's where me undies comes in. When I go to jiu-jitsu, a gym, deadlifts, even when I go on the road to sleep, I don't like wearing fucking underwear on stage.

But I'll tell you what. When I go to jiu-suitzs, I like my balls in place. I don't want a man to grab me in a deep fucking hat. And also, get a nut in his hand. Nobody needs that. You know what I'm saying? That's like going to Vegas and getting thrown out of the South Parkes. That's like going to Vegas.

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They're white. They got skid marks. They got little yellow stains in the front, you filthy fucking animals. Anyway, Miandis is here to change all that shit. All right. It's over.

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I'm a white Cuban dude with a big thing on a lot of price of them have. I got to wear boxers. shorts tight. He's a type. Plus, I'm chubby. So it keeps everything in perspective. You understand me? Listen, Mionis, I love them. I fucking want them. Next time I go to Jitza. He may be able to get these Neandis. They're tremendous. And you know what the best of them is? They deliver them to your house. Here's what I'm going to do. Shipping is free in the U.S. and Canada. And you can save up to $8 a pair with me on these subscription plan. That's right. Get the subscription plan or a single pair. and I'll get you 20% off your first order

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because you people think, I don't want you to, for me to sound like some fucking psychic or some okie duck from the other side. You understand me? Never. Let's be honest. Everything starts in your head.

Everything. I don't give a fuck a thought. You know, someday I'm going to become a ballerina. Boom, there you go. That's a thought. That's a seed. Everything starts in your head, all right? Most problems start in your mind.

Fear, anger, stress, anxiety, depression, sleeplessness. They begin in your head and they grow like a fucking weed. You understand me? It's like when you got a girlfriend and she goes away for three days. You don't know if she's licking somebody's nuts at. You don't know what she's doing. It's like bingo on your mind. You sit there trying to watch TV, but nothing's the same.

You try to eat sushi, but you can't do it. It's a fucking nightmare, all right? That's when you fucking turn to Uncle Joey, all right? Because all these things, they be getting in your head and they wreck your life. But here you go. It doesn't have to be that way. You can make a major difference in your life by ready for this 10 minutes a day. This change comes through guided,

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right now. I'll tell you what you're going to do. You're going to download the free Headspace app and begin their Take 10 program for 10 days of guided meditation at headspace.com slash Joey. Once again, that's headspace.com slash Joey. The Headspace Take 10 program is 100% free way to experience the benefits of meditation in your busy, modern life, okay? You can stop anywhere. Buy yourself. You go to a ladies room, the med room, you close the fucking thing, and you can just sit there, take your shoes off, whatever the fuck you want to do. Train your mind for a healthier, less-dressed life.

Start your free trial today. That's from Uncle Joey, all right? So do me a favor. Go to headspace.com slash Joey. That's headspace. I might check it up. com slash Joey. It's not a bad idea.

I want to thank Hesbets again. Meandis and Honored. Three great companies. If not, I wouldn't be fucking around with them. I don't want to thank my main man. Professor Joey Alvarado,

the Captain Kirk of Kettlejutsu.com. You understand me? If you don't know, now you know, cocksuckers, okay? Thank you for having me, man. That was awesome.

And like I said, you know, he's a great guy, and if you're looking to improve your jihitsu, maybe just down, let's say you live in fucking Chicago and you're looking for a kettlebell program. They could download this, right?

Yeah, for sure, man. Boom, and they can download to their tablet, to their phone. Yeah, phone, tablet, computer, whatever. Lisa, yeah, what's on your agenda for the weekend? You're going to pick mom up tonight? It's over. No, I have everyday cannabis and life of neutral tomorrow. Okay.

And what are you doing tonight? I have no idea. You're not picking mom up and spanking on nothing. You know, they're choking the debt, nothing. She's not cooking boy jobs and nothing. I don't think so. What the fuck? kind of thing. You didn't bring over like a fucking lomo

so she could cook. Lo-mo. Yeah. What's a lomo? I don't know. A chunk of meat. You go down to the butcher with some Cuban lingo. Yeah. Lomo. That won't Lomo. They give you a chunk of meat. You take it to fucking mother-in-law. You say, listen, there's tacos for Tuesday night next Saturday. You understand me? Get it together. I'll be here five with sour cream and some Coca-Cola.

Everybody gets happy. Okay, I'll model. I'm invited to your house. That's a nightmare. They'll never get, they'll never leave. You're invited to your house. They'll never leave. You're invited to your house. they discover the remote control and Telemundo, it's all over. It's all over. Next thing you know, you're sleeping on the couch, you get married, the mother's over there every day.

The brother with the kids, they're jumping up and down on your computer. They've got to move back to fucking Kentucky. Next thing you know, I got everybody over there playing the drums, and they want to answer questions. How do I get a movie role? And, you know, it's fucked up, Lisa. You know, I love you, cuck-suck. I'm happy you're getting it together.

You're looking good. Thank you, but it was fun. I'm interested to see one of your classes. Yeah, man. I got a bunch of stuff on you. Check out YouTube. Check out the Instagram. You can see, man.

You know, you ever want to come down, man. At least come a long way, dog. He's a fucking animal. Yeah, I'm surprised he's even, he likes this shit. He really goes and he pays attention. Cettlebell shit is rubbed off on him. I did the most. It's not my heaviest two-handed swing, but it's a long.

I did 10 and 10 with 28 kilograms today. It's not bad, man I mean, it's not even about Like, I don't really push weight on people, man You know, it's not about weight It's about safety first And getting the movement and everything It's the game I play against myself

That's all that's all I want Don't challenge yourself a little bit every day Yeah, you got to challenge yourself, but just be careful That's what happens when you're Jewish You gotta challenge yourself every fucking day You know what I'm saying? If not, you don't get the big envelope You know all about this shit

What else, Stedley? That's all you got for me That's it That's all I got man All right I love you, Joey Alvarado I love you, Lee Syatt Thank you very much I'm gonna be in Pittsburgh

tomorrow night, Friday night, and Saturday night, two shows, ready to rock, it's all over. I'm going to be working on the Ari Shafir story that I'm taping Tuesday night at the fucking Cheetah in Hollywood. That's 6 o'clock, yeah, the strip club. The strip club, Cheetah. Yeah, we shoot the, this is not happening there.

So we're going to shoot Sunday night. Doug Stanhope is shooting. I don't know who's shooting Monday night. I'm shooting Tuesday night. I think they're also shooting Wednesday night. Free tickets go to Ari Shafir's Twitter or his website. know him, guide you where to fuck to get free tickets. All right.

Have a great weekend. Stay black. I love you, cock suckers. Head it, Lee. This show was brought to you by Headspace. Go to Headspace.com slash Joey right now and download the free Headspace app and begin to take 10 program for 10 days of guided meditation. That's headspace.com slash Joey, headspace.com slash Joey and download the free

Headspace app and begin to take 10 program. This show is also brought to you by Miandis. Go to meyundies.com slash Joey to get 20% off of your first order. You can get a subscription or a single pair. Shipping is always free in the U.S. and Canada. And you get saved an additional $8 a pair when you do a Miandi subscription plan. So go to Meandes.com slash Joey right now. That's meyondies.com slash Joey.

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