The Commercial Break - Skedaddle!

Episode Date: June 6, 2025

EP#773: Bryan and Krissy want to bring back Skedaddling...which is really scatting. Anyway, no one cares! On this episode, the two friends discuss the crypto-bro kidnapping in NY that is very dramatic and quite entertaining. We review the plot lines, so far. Then, Bryan digs deep into his Googlebox to pull out the music industry's most interesting true stories. From Brittney and her snake to the Sweedish band that fakes its own funerals for promotion, it's a wild look at the whacky world of sound recording (some it may not be considered music. We're looking at you Lou Reed & Metallica!) TCB Clip: Light Language Back Again, to wreck it, fake it, let's begin! Watch EP #773 on YouTube! Text us or leave us a voicemail: [phone]TCB FOLLOW US: Instagram:  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thecommercialbreak⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Youtube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠youtube.com/thecommercialbreak⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@tcbpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.tcbpodcast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ CREDITS: Hosts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Bryan Green⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ &⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Krissy Hoadley⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Executive Producer: Bryan Green Producer: Astrid B. Green Voice Over: Rachel McGrath TCBits / TCBits Music: Written, Voiced and Produced by Bryan Green To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Let me switch. There. On this episode of the Commercial Break. But you go to the like the super jazz heads, like the, you know, hey man, scat-a-doo-bop, hey dude. You know, that crazy, yeah, giant, like, what do they call that? Skibidida-bop-boop-bop-a-deeda. That's scat. What is it? Skedaddling. Scat?

Scat? That's right. Yeah. Yes. Skedaddling. Skedaddling. I think that's skedaddling. Like, skedaddling out of here.

Yeah. Skedaddling out of here. Why don't we bring that word back? What happened to skedaddle? What a great word. It is a great word. Skedaddle! Next time I'm like in a road rage incident, I'm going to be like, you skedaddle out of here. It's all blue.

Oh blue. I just go, get, get, get. The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now. Hey you! Hey you! Oh yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Kris and Joy Hoadley.

Best of you, Kris and. Best of you, Brian. And best of you out there in the podcast universe. The hangover from the endless day continues. It does. We were just talking about that. You may not even know this, but we had a little recording issue yesterday, so I had to put out a canned episode, break glass in case of emergency, put out a canned episode of

the commercial break, which was, you know, only two and a half months old. So it didn't sound dated or anything. Are we revealing things? Yes. You got to listen to the bit on the front of that, by the way. Listen to it. Placebotide for your measles. Placebotide.

Brian's at it again with the AI music. There you go. A lot of people said, hey, put out the playlist on Spotify. I'll listen to it. So I double-check to make sure I have commercial rights to my commercial break. Jingles, and indeed I do. So I can put them on Spotify. Really?

I love the playlist, the TCB playlist. Yeah, the platform I use even has a distribution place. You can copyright and distribute and all that other stuff. So that's coming. I don't know when, but it's coming sometime. It's not in the notebook. It's not. It'll happen.

Don't worry. I figure I wanna get like 30 really good songs and then maybe I'll publish it. But we're at like 20 right now. So give me some time. Actually, I have hundreds of songs in there right now, but the challenge is that you have to keep on refreshing and refreshing and refreshing the ideas.

If you ask it to do something and it doesn't do quite what you want it to, then you have to go back and prompt it to do something else. So it's quite the ordeal of typing words in order to make beautiful music, okay? And then I have to come up with the lyrics, which is always, you know, fun. My kid was in here, one of the kids that could read was in here the other day, and I'm writing this bit about, writing the song about Frankie B.

And this, in the song, it says something about penis, So he can hear what's going on, and he goes, why did you use the word penis in the song? And I go, we all got one, kid, it's all good. And he goes, are you writing a song about penises? I said, not specifically about penises, but there is a penis attached. There's a penis appearance. Penis appearance.

There's a peepee appearance. Popped its little head out of the hole. There you go. A turtle in its shell. Popped right out. So I want to talk about music because we had a very interesting conversation with a guest that you'll hear next week, Ricky Lindholm, who is married to Fred Armisen, but a creator, an artist, a comedian, and a musician in her own right. And she said something very interesting during that interview

that led me down a big rabbit hole last night. And I'll preview the conversation. We were talking about Hall and Oates and that she had a relationship with Oates, like a friendly relationship with Oates. And she mentioned that, she mentioned a story about how they got together, how Hall and Oats got together. I don't wanna give it away yet. But, okay, so she said, but I don't know that this story is true. And the story sounded so outrageous that I was like,

I've never heard that story about Hall and Oats. Is it or isn't it true? And I went and did some homework and I found out that it is in fact true. And I'll share the story with you just a little bit. But I also, then I just started going down a rabbit hole on the internet of weird, wild musical stories, like, you know, things that- Like how people met or got together? How people met crazy stories, you know, people getting banned from countries for doing this

or throwing things out hotel rooms. I went from the really popular stories we all know to the super niche stories that maybe some of us don't know. So let's talk about a bunch of them. But first, I wanted to update you on a story that we talked about last week which was the Italian Bitcoin investor who was supposedly kidnapped for three weeks and tortured. Yes, in New York. And they arrested two other crypto bros who apparently... And one was a woman. There for three weeks and In New York, right? Tortured, yes, in New York. And they arrested two other crypto bros, who apparently And one was a woman.

There was a woman involved in this. But now the story gets curiouser and curiouser, as you imagine it would. Because being kidnapped for three weeks, and being asked for your Bitcoin password, and then only escaping when you agree to give the password. Like three weeks is a whole shitload of time to be tortured. Right. And yeah, he had some bruises on him, but he, it didn't, to me, it appeared to be a little bit weird from the video of him running down the street in a robe, not looking super beat up that he was tortured for three weeks and then only

agreed three weeks later to give up his Bitcoin and then they let him go to go get his computer and he just ran out the front door. Right. If you want millions of dollars worth of Bitcoin and you take the step of kidnapping and torturing somebody, you're not going to let him run out the front door. No. You're not going to let him go get his computer downstairs near the front door. But I don't know what happened and no one does. We're all piecing the story together. It's the fog of war, so to speak, right now.

It's only just happened a couple, like last week. But new information comes out every day about this. And there are a couple of news outlets, mainly TMZ, that's been following this story pretty closely. And so a couple of days ago, a video comes out, a video supposedly from the time when this guy was in this brownstone townhouse in Manhattan being tortured for three weeks. The video shows him

cooking up crack cocaine in an air fryer, laughing, joking, having a good time, but he's tied to a chair. His waist is tied to a rolling chair. Okay, alright. Some leads some validity to the story that he was kidnapped and tortured, leads some validity to the story that maybe it wasn't as tortured as he initially would have, that you would have thought he'd been. Then other videos come out. Wait, hold on. I'm focused for a second on tied to the rolling chair.

He's tied to a rolling chair. Like a chair that can move around? Chair that can roll around. His hands are free, his legs are free, but his waist is tied up. But to a chair that can move. A chair that can roll around. To an air fryer, where is cooking crack cocaine? Wow, that's a new one for me. That really is. I've seen it done on a stove. I think one time there was a microwave involved.

I knew a crackhead. I knew a crackhead. He would take cocaine and cook it up. He was a crackhead. That's just the way he preferred to ingest his cocaine. And he did it a couple different ways, but air fryer? The air fryer's a new one. Wow, there you go.

I mean, technology advances, right? You gotta find new ways. The kids are cooking their crack with the air fryer. Doesn't surprise me that the crypto cocaine scene has now turned to crack cocaine either because we say that's a street drug, but really the people who buy crack cocaine, by and large, are like white dudes from suburbia America.

That's been like a well-known fact for a long time. Okay, all right. So then I wake up this morning and I see yet another update. You ready for this? I wanna read this from TMZ. Crypto torture kidnap case victim in wild sex party scenes around the time of alleged torture. Sex parties and X-rated pranks,

not exactly kidnapping and torture, but a new bombshell video and photos reveal the kind of wild Bacchanalian atmosphere during the bizarre crypto kidnapping case that's landed John Woltz and William DuPlace in jail. TMZ obtained this footage showing their alleged victim, Italian businessman Michael Valentino, hanging out, grinning, and frequently shirtless with other partygoers inside the Manhattan townhouse DuPlace and Woltz were renting. Cops say the duo abducted and tortured this guy, this Michael Valentino, from May 6 to

May 23 to get him to turn over a password to the Bitcoin wallet worth millions of dollars. The suspects allegedly beat, shocked, and pistol-whipped Valentino, but the new images captured around May 11th or 12th show him mostly smiling, laughing, and engaging with several women. One picture captures him shirtless and smiling with a neck collar that's attached to a leash a woman is pulling, simulating an S&M sex scene. Two other women are sitting on a couch watching it all unfold. And there's another man on the couch. But his face is completely obscured.

So we can't tell if it's Duplezy or Waltz. And I think I'm saying his name right. I don't know. Perhaps the most shocking video shows Michael having sex with a woman in a bedroom when an unidentified man barrages in to press a pink sex toy against Valentino's ass. Other clips show Michael talking and cutting cocaine with baking soda and sleeping on a couch near two other people, one of whom has a large knife on his lap. There's also a video of Michael on his knees as a woman gently pulls on his leash. Another picture shows the Italian investor sitting in a wheelchair, sipping a drink and

eating a sandwich while Blake Lively film plays in the background. While none of the images show Michael in distress, that doesn't mean it didn't happen, that's true. And we're told this footage was all captured within a day or two period during the nearly three weeks he was supposedly held against his will. As we reported, Woltz and DePleze are being held without bail after prosecutors charged them with kidnapping, unlawful imprisonment, assault, and possession of a weapon.

These images seem to call into question whether or for how long Valentino was held against his will. Indeed. Um. Wow. If I'm gonna be kidnapped and tortured, sounds like my kind of party. Yeah, exactly. Wow. If I'm gonna be kidnapped and tortured, sounds like my kind of party. Yeah, exactly.

Sex, pink sex toys, cocaine and baking soda. I mean, movies. On large screen projectors and a brownstone with a pool in the background and catered food. That's the most fucked up part about this. Is that like two weeks ago, I guess maybe, like when this first came out, there were videos that people who had been to this house,

because supposedly it was the Crypto Bro party house for a while, that they would often have a private chef catering these big meals in this beautiful brownstone. And then it just like would devolve into a cocaine induced haze for days and days on end. This was my basement with Bitcoin. That's what it was. It was my basement with Bitcoin. Unbelievable.

Yeah, your basement upgraded. My basement upgraded. That's right. My basement with money. My basement with enough money. This is a really insane story. And one I would like to follow to the very end. Definitely keep us posted. Now I'm wrapped in. Now you got me.

I mean, kidnapped and tortured. Oh wow, that's intense. Kidnapped and tortured and you're cooking cocaine in a rolling chair in an air fryer? Wow. Now there's sex parties? Sex involved. Yeah.

Interesting. Yeah, the onion unfolds. It does. The onion peels back. Doesn't mean that he wasn't kidnapped, tortured, or forced to give his Bitcoin wallet away. Just muddies the water a little. It does. And where did the pictures come from?

Were they like inside like house surveillance? Or were they just people? Taken by somebody else. So this also calls into question. I think I understand maybe what's going on here. This guy goes to a party. OK, supposedly Michael Valentino had Bitcoin stolen from him a year, year and a half ago.

Oh, really? These two crypto bros then claim they know where it is and they know how to get it back. Just when you get to Manhattan, let us know and we'll all figure it out. So he takes a trip specifically to Manhattan to see these guys. This is the story he told to get his crypto back, to get his Bitcoin back, millions of dollars worth. I think that they invited him to come to a big fucking party and it devolved into this three week sexual orgy full of cocaine exploration into a crack induced haze. And at some point-

Psychosis. Yes, psychosis and Crypto Bro One and Crypto Bro Two say, he got hacked before and the police didn't get involved Let's do it again. Yeah, we could use a couple million dollars Let's let's force him to give us the Bitcoin and just in a crack induced craziness these two For a couple of hours started like threatening him and saying you got to give us your Bitcoin wallet I don't think it happened for three weeks. Yeah. I think he was likely partying for three weeks. And then at the very end, and we've all been there

after a long night, not torturing and kidnapping somebody, but we've been in that weird place where we just don't know which way is up or which way is down. And people start getting strange around you, right? If you don't know how to handle your shit, shit can go sideways real fucking quick. And I think that's what happened,

and that's probably what's gonna come out. They likely will be charged with something, you know, threats with a deadly weapon or something like that. But I think the kidnapping and the torture part, not so sure that's gonna stick. When you're having sex, cooking crack cocaine and making jokes while watching Blake Lively movies.

Just doesn't sound like the kind of kidnapping I'm familiar with. No. That's not the one they show in the movies. No, indeed not. All right, let's talk about music. But first, a reaction video, if you will, Chrissy. I wanna let you listen and see a song

that is going around the internet right now. And it is extremely intense. And I love it. I am all about it. This song is called Doll People, and it's by Sofia Isella, Isella, something like that. It's I-S-E-L-L-A, Isella.

I guess that's how you say it. And she has, I think she opened for Taylor Swift once or twice, if I'm not mistaken. She's young, her voice is haunting. I want to play this song for you, and I want you to tell me what you think. And I'm going to show you the video too. All right, here we go. The polls we are art you can't

The doll people are quiet Interpret itself there men with a day to save we are paintings with legs we are art you can Okay, it goes on from there. I don't want to play too much of it. It's her copyrighted music. Holy shit. First of all, whatever that is, I'm into it. Whatever that is, I'm into it. Second of all, I hope my daughters hear this song.

I mean, honestly, I hope my daughters hear this song. That is a crazy interpretation of the world around her. And I love it. I think it's great. I'm gonna try to be the guy who, you know, but I just think it's an intensely emotional and thrashing song. I love it.

I love everything about it. Well, plus the video that goes with it, you know, she's got the green and her hair's in her face. It's haunting. Reminds me a lot of Tori Amos. I was gonna say the same thing. Reminds me a lot of Tori Amos, who I went and saw live one time.

Maybe a little Lord mixed in too. Yeah, Lordy, yep, there you go. I went and saw Tori Amos one time, Tori Amos on a piano. That's it, on a piano. That's it, on the stage, center stage, small theater. She's amazing. Couple hundred people. I was 16 or 17 years old.

I got the tickets for my girlfriend at the time, Brooke, who really enjoyed Tori Amos. She turned me on to her and I just was in love with everything Tori Amos at the time. And we got there and sitting in front of us was Michael Stipe. Oh, yeah. and sitting in front of us was Michael Stipe. Oh, yeah. Was sitting in front of us at the show.

And it was a rather intimate and intense experience in and of itself. It's like Tori Amos bled out emotion as she was playing that piano. Where was it? Center stage theater. Oh, center stage, yeah. So tiny, I mean like 500, 600 people,

and she was certainly very much, like she was at the peak of kind of her fame. Screwing that piano bench, thrashing at it, banging on the piano. Everything about it was intense and beautiful. And every note played with such dedication and almost like God coming through her fingers, it was hard not to be moved by Tori Amos in that room. And I think part of why it was so intense is because you were literally feet from her. And so you were watching an artist at the top of her game, emotionally raw and vulnerable and in charge and every,

I mean, all the things, I can use all the words, but the reality was it's a concert that will be in my top three forever and ever amen. Tori Amos, Center Stage Theater, 19, something. Yeah. Anyway. I love it. Yeah. Good job, Sophia. I mean, you don't need my applause, but wow. Intense, super beautiful. The whole song is great. Go check her out on Instagram. She's blowing up right now. So, all right, let's take a break. And then I'm going to tell you some of the more wild stories from musical history. I can't wait. I love that you went down this rabbit hole.

Oh, I went way down it actually. Way down it. Let me, um, I can't find the liner. Oh, there they are. Sometimes I get lost. All right, let's take a break and we'll go down the musical rabbit hole. We'll be back. Okay, you're probably wondering why I, Rachel, have taken over the voice duties at TCB. It's pretty simple. Astrid asked me to shut Brian up, even for a minute. Well, lovely Astrid, your wish is my command. Do you want to help Astrid, too? You know you do.

Leave a message for her, or me, or Chrissy, at 212-433-3TCB. That's 212-433-3822. You can be on the show, too. Mm-hmm. Just call and say something. Anything. Or text us, and we'll text you right back. Promise. Then head over to tcbpodcast.com and get your free sticker. It's your constitutional right to a sticker, and we must abide. You get the point. Follow us on Instagram at The Commercial Break and watch all the episodes on video at youtube.com slash The Commercial Break. Best to you and Astrid, especially Astrid. Discover the magic of Bet MGM Casino

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I want to tell you about a podcast from HeadGum I think you're gonna like. It's handsome, with Tig Notaro, Fortunet Fimster, and May Martin. Two of those people have appeared here on the commercial break, the third is conspicuously absent, and I will be following up. Every week, the Handsome hosts field a question from a friend and attempt to answer it together, covering every subject you could think of, from psychic experiences and reoccurring dreams to secret talents and favorite pop divas. Along the way, Tig, Fortune, and May tell plenty of stories and just generally have

a ridiculous time. Sound familiar? Both Chrissy and I listen to this show, and exactly like the commercial break, they get questions from people like Jennifer Aniston, Paul Simon, Conan O'Brien, Tom Hanks, Sheryl E. Ralph, Melissa McCarthy, and other notable listeners, just like the commercial break does. Handsome is a great podcast with two of the three hosts being some of our favorite guests, and I will work on May Martin.

Subscribe to Handsome wherever you listen to podcasts and check out the full episodes on YouTube. New episodes drop every Tuesday and Friday. Headgum.com slash Handsome for a full episode list. It's the summer big red Sale at Canadian Tire. Save up to 50%. What are you doing? These are the biggest deals of the season.

I'm shouting it from the rooftop. We have a radio ad. You don't need to be up there. The Summer Big Red Sale is on from June 5th to June 12th. Conditions apply. Details online. Okay. You ready to hear some wild stories in music history?

Yes. Okay, let's go through them. I'm just going to rapid fire these and we can talk about them as we go along. Okay. And I'm going to talk, let's go from most well-known to least well-known stories. How's that? That's the order that I put them in. Ready?

The time Britney Spears performed with the live snake and almost got bit, and we can all, I think most of us will remember this. Yeah, that was the MTV Music Awards. The 2001 VMAs. Oh, VMAs. Yes. Brittany performed, I'm a Slave for You, wearing next to nothing and draped in a massive albino python. What viewers didn't know,

the snake handler later claimed that Brittany was incredibly nervous and the snake was stressed out and hissing, ready to strike. At one point during rehearsals, the snake lunged toward her face and producers considered replacing it. Brittany insisted on keeping it because as legend has it,

the snake was just too sexy and she wanted to keep it. Didn't know that little bit of tidbit of information, but I did hear that she was nervous around the snake. Makes sense. It's around your neck and you're on stage with all the people and lights and stuff, music. I don't mind the pith. Yeah, I mean honestly, like what? It's like those guys, you know,

what's his name and what's his name? Siegfried and Royd that performed with live lions, tigers, and ligers for three fucking decades. Inches from audience members with nothing but a leash to hold the lions back and in some cases, nothing. And those animals, those majestic fucking creatures, wild as they could be, stood there on a stoop for most of the show for 30 years until one night, somebody got over it. Like somebody was done with it. And it ended in...

That was an interesting documentary. Terrible tragedy. It was an interesting documentary and very sad. But you look back on it and you go, of course! Right. You're lucky the audience didn't end up slaughtered. Yes. Yes.

David Bowie's astronaut tribute almost crashed the ISS feed when Canadian astronaut Chris Hadfield recorded a stunning cover of Space Oddity aboard the ISS, the International Space Station. It went viral, but here's the twist. David Bowie's team had to negotiate with NASA to even allow the song's use. And for months afterwards, the clip vanished from YouTube until rights were cleared. I did not know that, but I know the clip. Interesting.

Let's see here. Wu Tang once sold a copy of an album for $2 million to one person. His name was Idiot Pharma Bro. Remember that guy? He's not in jail anymore. Oh, he got out. Yeah, he got out. Limb Biscuit played Woodstock 99 for $3. I did not know that. I didn't either. Woodstock 99 was already a powder keg. There was no water,

the heat, angry crowds, topless women. Then Limp Bizkit played break stuff and encouraged the crowd to break stuff. Riots broke out, people tore plywood from the stage, fires and looting began to happen. Fred Durst later said, we didn't know what was happening. Promoters blamed the band, to happen. Fred Durst later said, we didn't know what was happening. Promoters blame the band, the band blame the crowd, the crowd blame the porta-potties. And we all remember it because it happened live on MTV. Yeah. And there's that documentary. There's a couple of documentaries about Woodstock 99 actually. Go watch it. It is a lesson in what not to do when you're at a fucking live show, from both the promoter's standpoint

and the crowd's standpoint. Mid-performance at an iHeartRadio music fest, Green Day's set was suddenly cut short so Erscher could go on, but Billy Joe Armstrong exploded on stage, yelling, I'm not Justin fucking Bieber, motherfuckers. He smashed his guitar, stormed off stage, and checked into rehab the very next day.

Really? Yes, I didn't know he checked into rehab. I've seen the video of this happening, but I didn't know he checked into rehab. He had a bad drinking problem, I think is what it was. I remember Bjork beat up a reporter in 1996. I do remember that. Okay, let's go to less known stories.

Ready? The time Keith Moon drove a Rolls Royce into a pool on his birthday. Keith Moon, the drummer for the Who, was when you hear crazy rock and roll stories, like that rock and rollers are crazy and they trash hotel rooms, they have sex with fish. Yeah, that is Keith Moon.

Keith Moon. Keith Moon is the reason why those stories are around. He was, by all accounts, the craziest human being anybody had ever met. He also happened to be one of the better drummers that ever lived. Yes. In 1967-

That's one way to celebrate your birthday. Hey, listen, if you can afford to drive a Rolls Royce into a pool, drive a Rolls Royce into a pool drive a Rolls Royce into a pool You know what I'm saying? I can afford to drive one of those like Flintstones. Yeah, yeah my kids Flintstone cars. I Threw that in the pool once it's just for fun Then I had to go get it

I'm making that video coming up over the summer. I'm Keith Moon, bitches! I'm making that video. That's coming up over the summer. I'll probably drown. Uh, oh wait, wait, wait, wait. Oh, I lost my place. Um... Uh... Uh... Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- Brian lost his place in line. 1967, the Who's drummer Keith Moon celebrates his 21st birthday by throwing a party in Flint, Michigan at a Holiday Inn.

The night included naked cake fights, a TV thrown out a window, and Moon, allegedly driving a Lincoln Continental, not a Rolls Royce as the legend would have it, into the hotel pool. He lost a tooth and was arrested in his underwear. The hotel banned the Who for life and the Holiday Inn chain used the story as a cautionary tale. They would put it in like, in hotels, they would put like little flyers that said,

you know, be respectful or whatever. I'm sure that helped Holiday Inn. Holiday Inn is also where I put 27 Pixie sticks into an air conditioner and turned it up. The band, one band, signed their contract in literal blood. Yes. In 2006, the band The Used, turned out well for them, decided signing a contract with a pen was just too boring. So they decided to use their own blood.

They pricked their fingers and signed their Warner Brothers contract with their own blood. I'm surprised more haven't done that. Yeah, honestly. Alice Cooper didn't do that first. Ozzy Osbourne, somebody. Let's see, I don't care about Elvis Presley.

Frank Zappa was once pushed off stage by a fan and broke so many bones. He spent a year in a wheelchair. I think I remember hearing that in one of my autobiography books of rockers. Yeah, I imagine you would do that. You know, I also was in a band once where there was a fall from stage. Only it was Jose Cuervo that pushed me off the stage.

Yeah, exactly. And I was too broke to be in a wheelchair for a year. In 1971, during a show at the London's Rainbow Theatre, a fan rushed the stage, shoved Zappa into the orchestra pit, claiming he was jealous of Zappa into the orchestra pit, claiming he was jealous of Zappa's relationship with his girlfriend. Zappa broke his leg, crushed his larynx, and suffered permanent damage to his voice. He spent a year in the wheelchair and had to relearn how to perform. His next album, The Grand Wazoo, was written during his recovery.

Angry, weirder, and more complex than anything before. Well, you could never... Angry or weirder and more complex is like... It's a high bar for Frank Zappa. Yeah, the highest. Yeah, Frank was a very interesting musician. Very. I like a few of his things.

It was never like my super flavor. What I like is when Frank got together with other musicians and created good music. I was never like a huge solo Frank Zappa. However, Dweezil Zappa, now they, Dweezil, you named your kid Dweezil. I mean, honestly, Frank, you could have gone for Bob Zappa instead you went for Dweezil Zappa.

Poor fucking kid. When Metallica and Lou Reed made a collab album, so bad it broke up the friendship. I didn't even remember this. Yeah, I was about to say, I had no idea they did an album together. In 2001, Metallica and Lou Reed made an experimental album called Lulu,

which no one asked for and almost everybody disliked. Reed said it was the best thing anyone's ever done, while critics called it un-listenable. Like being yelled at by your dad after he drank too much red wine, said one fan. Lars later said some Metallica fans sent death threats. Reed laughed and said they just don't get it. It's now a cult classic of music gone completely off the rails.

I had no idea until I read that that they had done an album called Lulu. Let's see if... Lulu. That's not the name of the album I would expect from either one of those. No. Okay. Here's just a taste. Yep, that's about enough of that. I love everything Lou Reed, but that was not, as a guy who loves everything Lou Reed and Velvet Underground, that was not anything that I was even aware of until I read that. Probably for good reason. Right. There's a reason you didn't hear about it. Now, here's one I do remember, but many people may not.

Creed once played to an empty arena and then got sued for sucking so bad. In December of 2002, a show in Chicago, Creed was so bad that four fans filed a lawsuit, claiming that the band couldn't sing, play, or even perform, and that they were wasted beyond comprehension.

Lead singer Scott Stapp reportedly laid on stage for long stretches and forgot most of the lyrics. The band later blamed a bad reaction to prescription medication. Oh, blame it, it's a reaction. Yeah, when you take 20 Vicodin at one time, you're gonna have a bad reaction. It didn't go to court, but Creed versus the people is an amazing moment in rock and roll history. It really is. I think they settled out of court actually on that one, gave them their money back and then a couple hundred dollars and some merch for the trouble.

Merch. I mean, Creed, it's just an amazing, amazing story. Creed is a story that, that's another one of those stories that I'll follow to the very end. I think Creed is doing another like, boat cruise show. And all the 90s bands are getting back together. Gin Blossoms and Blues Traveler are playing with like, Better Than Ezra or something. Yeah.

Yeah. And okay, I guess that's the nostalgia tour none of us were asking for, but here it comes. The punk band that faked its own breakup by faking their own deaths. Did you hear about this one? Maybe. In the early 2000s, an obscure Swedish punk band called the Tupperware Remix Party claimed in a press release that they had all died in a synthesizer accident. A synthesizer accident. Fans took to mourning. Obituaries were written, but six months later, they showed up alive with fake mustaches,

new stage names, and a resurrection tour. When asked why they did it, we wanted to see if we could become legends without doing anything particularly legendary. That's really smart. We should have thought about that 400 episodes ago. We should have. Bob Dylan was once held at gunpoint

for looking suspicious wearing a hoodie. Oh, yeah, I think I have. Bob Dylan was once held at gunpoint for looking suspicious wearing a hoodie. Oh yeah, I think I remember this. 2009, Bob Dylan wandering alone in a hoodie in Long Branch, New Jersey was stopped by two young cops who had no idea who he was. When asked what he was doing, Dylan said, "'Just walking.' The cops thought he was casing a house.

He didn't have an ID and gave a fake sounding name, Bob Dylan. They called for backup only when senior officers arrived and confirmed that this was indeed musical legend Bob Dylan did they let him go. Dylan reportedly found it very funny. The cops however did not. I can see how that could happen to a young person. You know, if you're seeing Bob Dylan, he's walking down the street and the way he looks, yeah, it could seem a little suspicious. It happens to me everywhere I go.

The young kids just don't recognize me. However, if you're in the over 60 crowd, you're like, how do you download a podcast? The Diva demands of Van Halen's M&M's. Oh, the old M&M's story. The old M&M's story. You may have heard, speaking of young kids, you probably haven't heard this one. You may have heard the No Brown M&M's story, but you don't know that there's a twist. It wasn't just rock star ego. In the early 1980s, Van Halen buried a clause in their concert writer requesting all Brown

M&Ms be removed backstage. Why? Because their production was so complex with pyro and weight limits that they'd hide this clause to see if promoters were really reading the writer clause. If they saw the Brown M&Ms, they knew the venue likely skipped on safety protocols also. It was less diva, more booby trap. Wow, you know, that's pretty fucking smart. Yeah, it is.

And when we start doing live shows, we're doing something very similar. I'm gonna request a pound of cocaine and if it doesn't show up, I'll know that they're not going to get me M&Ms either. Well, when we do our live in studio, remember? Down at the studio. Yeah, they asked me if there was a rider and I'm like, a rider? Yes. Can I get a bottle of water? Please? Can I use the elevator, please? I'm not a fucking diva.

I'm not going to ask for a rider. That's crazy. Was it for us or for the guests? It wasn't specified in the first email, but I assumed it was for the guests. So I said, Hey, listen, water, maybe like potato chips. I don't know something, the nibble on if they were there for an extended time Yeah refreshments some soda and stuff like that and I'm sure they have a vending machine somewhere Like I don't think we need to worry about it too much

Yeah, and I don't think we have the kind of guests that have riders. We're not asking Tom Cruise to come up We don't need hair and makeup. You know what I'm saying? Yeah The jazz musician who survived a plane crash then finished the gig in who survived a plane crash, then finished the gig. Oh. In 1977, jazz pianist Keith Jarrett was en route to a show in Switzerland when his plane crash landed on the runway. The aircraft was damaged and the passengers were rattled, but Jarrett managed to walk away, went to the venue,

and played an entire concert that same night. The performance was reportedly extra fiery and Jared joked that it was probably because I thought I was dead. Right. The incident was never widely reported, but jazz heads still whisper about it in folklore. I didn't know jazz heads were getting together

doing folklore, jazz heads. I know. The whispers. The whispers, did you hear about Jared? He almost died. I almost took his $300 gig. Poor jazz musicians. I mean, they really get the shit under the stick.

It's the truth. And some of them are probably the most talented. Oh yeah. If you're like a true, true jazz fan, like a free form jazz exploration type of fan, you are a certain type of musical fan because jazz can be weird and wild and wonderful like Frank Zappa and the commercial break. But the reality is is that sometimes it's

hard to follow and sometimes it's not necessarily... You have to be in the right mood for it because I love jazz, love love love jazz, but yes it would the whole the stuff that gets out there you have to be in the mood for it. Yes for sure. Now there's like, you know, the kind of more accessible jazz, right? Which is more melodic kind of jazzy types, jazzy bluesy type stuff. You know, rhythmic, melodic jazz. I love that.

It can be very accessible. And oftentimes there's beautiful musicians. And I don't mean physically, I mean like beautifully talented musicians that are playing that kind of stuff. But you go to like the super jazz heads, like the, you know, hey man, scat-a-du-du-bop, hey dude. You know, that crazy, yeah, like, what do they call that?

Um, skib-a-du-du-du-bop-boop-bop-a-dee-da. What is it? Skedaddling. Skedaddling. Scat. That's right. Yeah. Yes. Skedaddling. Skedaddling. I think. Skat, that's right. Yeah. Yes.

Skedaddling. Skedaddling. I think that's skedaddling. I think that's like, get out of here. Skedaddling out of here. Why do we bring that word back? What happened to skedaddling? What a great word.

It is a great word. Skedaddling. Next time I'm like in a road rage incident, I'm gonna be like, you skedaddling out of here. I'm told blue. Oh blue. I just go get, get, get. Get.

Get. Get. Get. Oh. My Starbucks boyfriend, get, get, get. Get, get. Get. Oh, my Starbucks boyfriend. He's got a dog. That's how we met, because he has this dog. He brings up beautiful white dog. He's great.

I saw him this morning. Beautiful white dog. You know, I mean, the most beautiful coat you've ever seen on a dog. And he's like a bulldog, a pit bull mix, right? Oh, okay, yeah. But he's just the sweetest dog you've ever seen in your entire life.

Loves everybody, sniffs everybody, says hello to everybody. Anyway, my Starbucks boyfriend, he's got a, something happened to his thumb last night. It's like jammed it or hurt it. He's like trying to hold the dog, but it really hurts. So the dog is barking because when the dog barks, he has to go, right?

And so I said, listen, let me take care. I'll go take the dog. Just trying to be nice, right? Your hand hurts, let me go take the dog. The dog is huge, it can yank people around. So I said, okay, I'll go. And so I take the dog outside, does its business, listens to everything I say right next to my side.

Just like, and I go, why didn't I get this dog? What happened to this dog? And I come back and Starbucks boyfriend is like, oh, you did, you're a good dog, dad. Thanks so much. And I said, yeah, I have the worst dog ever. So I really appreciate the dog. Yeah, this is not really a chore for me.

I kind of like. It's nice. So back to jazz, there used to be a club here called Cafe 290. Do you remember Cafe 290? Behind the punch line? Might still be there, I don't know. That's like where the real jazz heads went in Atlanta,

and we would always go there. And you're right, you have to be in the right kind of mood to listen to jazz. Mainly high on cocaine. That's the kind of mood that I was in when I would listen to jazz music over there. All right, let me tell you the story about Hall and Oats, because this is like the meat and potatoes. I got a few more, but we'll tell the story about Hall and Oats and wrap it up when we get back.

Why don't you text us and we can text back and then you can text us in reply, then so on. It's a fun little game I've been playing, and I think you'll be great at it. 212-433-3TCB. That's 212-433-3822. You could leave a message, too. If you do, maybe you'll end up being the voice of the show. But be warned, the pay is not great. You could go to the website and drop us an email also, tcbpodcast.com. And while you're there, you can get a free sticker. Who doesn't want a free sticker? Just go to the Contact Us button and ask for one. Follow us on Insta at The Commercial Break and watch the episodes at youtube.com slash The Commercial Break. Now I'm going to go back to that texting game. You want to play? Come on. Bye.

game. You want to play? Come on! Bye! cruise through Muscogee or down Toronto's bustling streets. From now until June 30th, lease a 2025 Volvo XC60 from 1.74% and save up to $4,000. Condition supply. Visit your GTA Volvo retailer or go to volvocars.ca for full details. Samsung Vision AI televisions transform screens into intelligent solutions from the shows that make us laugh to those that make us cry. Now, your TV knows you more than ever. Whether it's reviving old memories with AI upscaling or seamless hands-free control with universal gestures, this isn't just television. It's a whole new vision. Because it isn't just about what's on.

It's about who's watching. Learn more about Samsung Vision AI televisions at samsung.com. All right, a couple more, then I'll give you the holonotes. Okay. The disco cat that did nothing but meow over a beat. I think I vaguely, vaguely remember something about this when I read it last night.

A mysterious artist named Muppet the Cat released a disco single in Germany called Meow Meow, which was literally just a loop of a cat meowing rhythmically. It charted in Belgium for almost a month. The song was made as a prank by a bored sound engineer testing a vocal order. It was later sampled by a Berlin DJ collective in the 2000s. Even weirder, some fans believe that the cat was real and sent fan mail to Moppet in the thousands. Oh God.

1983 was such a long time ago. I mean, it really was. You would never send... Do you think Taylor Swift still gets fan mail? Probably, huh? Little girls and stuff like that. think Taylor Swift still gets fan mail? Probably, huh? Little girls and stuff like that. We don't get any fan mail. Actually, we do get fan mail.

I was gonna say, people write us. Do you know that one of our fans, two of our fans, Jenny and then another fan, made us crochet creatures, things, and they sent them to us. That's so sweet. I'll share it with you in a couple of weeks because there's a reason why I'm saving it, but I'll share it with you in a couple of weeks.

The musician who quit to become a monk then returned with a techno album about enlightenment. British producer Tom Middleton of Global Communications fame disappeared from music in 2003. Turns out he just joined a silent Buddhist monastery in Nepal for five years. When he returned, he released a concept album titled Samasara Baseline, a binomial techno record intended to guide listeners through the stages of awakening. Tracks include Drop the beat, drop the Buddhist monastery. I bet it's good. Suffering is not real. Look for the answers inside yourself.

I bet it is good actually. You know, I'd like to listen to it. Maybe I'll pull it up on Spotify one day. The Icelandic band only using sounds from melting ice. In 2009, experimental group Glacier recorded an entire ambient album using only the sounds of ice melting, crackling, and breaking. Sounds great. They captured the noises in real time using submerged microphones and glaciers.

The result, slow collapse, a haunting meditative record that unintentionally documented climate change through rhythm. At one listening event, they served cocktails with glacial ice to complete the sonic cycle. The band dissolved after just one album, fittingly, just like they're a sound source. Honestly, I mean, okay, I get it. It's fun. It's cool.

All right, thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The accordion player who was briefly banned from Switzerland for playing, quote, way too aggressively. What? What? In Switzerland. I had no idea.

In Switzerland. Aren't I pretty cool over there? Yeah, that's what I would think. I lived there for a minute. You did. In 1992, French street performer, Amelie Verdot, was arrested at the Swiss border crossing after being cited in multiple towns for overly aggressive accordion technique. Locals said he slammed the keys like a demon Satan and caused distress to nearby livestock.

This has got to be a joke. Yeah. This has got to be a joke. This has got to be a press release. Somebody making a joke. After refusing to tone it down, he was issued a 90-day ban from entering the country. He used the time to write a solo piece called The Angry Bellows. It's now taught in avant-garde accordion programs across Europe. That's bullshit. That's not true. There's no way that's true.

The Forgotten Composer Who Made an Album Just for Plants. No, I think there's a lot of people who've done this. No, yeah, I'm actually, I follow this one guy. He does it with, he makes mushroom music. Oh, well, there's lots of people who do that. What do you mean, mushroom music? Well, I mean, he makes it with, like, he puts little microphones in it,

like it has like a vibration, the mushrooms do. Oh, and he makes music out of it, yeah. Yeah, I see a lot of people doing like, stuff with water and music, you know, they're putting them in different shapes. I saw one where a guy blew a bubble out of a machine, like a soapy bubble, like you would with your kids, right? A bubble, just a bubble. And, but, like a soapy bubble, like you would with your kids, right? A bubble, just a bubble.

But he managed to keep the bubble there in this machine, and then he attached speakers underneath the bubble machine and then played certain kinds of music. And you could see the music in 3D, putting light on the bubble in a certain way. I thought it was very beautiful, very interesting. The angrier it got, the sharper the visuals got. The softer it got, the more

rounded and even they got. It was very interesting. Very interesting. Very interesting. 1985, composer Gloria Hightower released Botanic Suite No. 1, an album of gentle classical music designed to stimulate plant and penis growth. She claimed to have tested it on her orchids. Plant and penis? Yeah. Okay.

I've been that. I took it. Oh, okay. Designed to stimulate plant growth. She claimed to have tested it on her orchids and ferns, noting leafier results. The album included whispered affirmations like, you are strong and growing green.

Wow. Layered under string arrangements. It flopped commercially. You don't say. You don't say. But she had great plans. It became a hit in niche horticultural circles. I was going to say, yeah, if you're really into, you know, caring for your plants, you

might get this. What is a horticulture, niche horticultural circle? I bet it's bigger than the audience in the commercial break. I'll bet you that. All right. And finally, Hall and Oates, the gunfight that brought them together. That's so crazy. I can't wait to hear this.

In 1967, Hall and Oates were both young musicians attending Temple University in Philadelphia. On one particular night, they happened to be performing with their separate bands at the Adelphi Ballroom. During a Battle of the Bands style event, local R&B and soul groups were regular fixtures at the venue and this night was no different. But before they could even see each other's sets, a fight broke out between two rival gangs in the audience. One of them pulled out a gun and chaos erupted. Shots were fired, people screamed and the crowd scattered. Holland Oates, who had never met before,

both bolted for the nearest exit, which happened to be the same elevator. As the doors closed, they found themselves alone trying to catch their breath and they started talking. They realized they were both students. They realized they both loved music. And that's how the duo was born. Oates later called it a moment of pure Philadelphia. They exchanged contact info. They touched phones and exchanged contact info. I mean, that's 1967.

Within a year, they were writing music together, eventually becoming the most successful pop duo in history. Gotta be. Amazeballs. Yeah. Serendipity is the only word to say there. That's the only way. Meant to come together. Meant to come together. I mean, really, they, if you were born after 1995, you may not be so

familiar with the enormity of Hall & Oates. Yeah, they probably don't, because their songs have been redone, you know. All over the place. Yeah, yeah. I see online, I see young bands covering their tunes in a million different ways. Sarah Smile, all of it. Yeah. You know, you can't go for that.

All of those songs being covered by Hall & Oates. They literally had a hit song every six months for like nine years in a row. They did. Yeah. And then like a number one hit. And then they were part of the whole MTV video stuff. They were in TV.

When that came out. Yeah, they would come up with a new song and a new video. Like I said, every three to six months and Hall and Oates were the thing. And the thing what, the interesting thing is, is that Hall and Oates were like not the youngest spryest of people when MTV came along they were in their mid 30s late 30s something like that. So they kind of buck the trend of these 20 something hair bands and all that I mean those Phil Collins and stuff like that too that were were doing the videos also Peter Gabriel. We're really cool. Awesome.

His videos were really cool. Awesome. Sledgehammer is one of the greatest songs ever. So good. So good. Tears for Fears, all of those bands that were playing, you know, the early Madonna, Michael Jackson, Prince, all of those early MTV video kind of, I don't know, video valedictorians, if you will,

the people who rose to the top because those videos were so intriguing that you yeah Just tuned in to watch it and that's all many movies Yeah, that's exactly what they were and directors like John Landis who did the thriller for Michael Jackson. Yeah would get involved Steven Spielberg did some stuff for Michael Jackson No, so many of these directors who were directing the music videos either were at the time or were going to become famous directors in their own right. They would make them movies. There was a plot. There was a beginning, a middle, and an end. The story got resolved in the end most of the time. It was a very interesting

art form back then. And I'm sure that in a lot of corners, it still is a very interesting art form because people still make music videos. They just don't get consumed like they used to on one channel playing an endless loop of very popular music over and over again. MTV was a tastemaker. They need to bring it back. They tried to. Remember they had that, what was that channel?

I can't remember it for the life of me, but I fucking loved it. They had a channel that would play entire live shows. Axis TV, was it Axis TV? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mark Cuban, that's Mark Cuban. Yeah, so Axis when it first came out, would just play music videos and live concert footage. That's what they would do.

And it turned into a lot of other things now, but man, I'm telling you what, I know that commercially it's not viable. And that's why MTV doesn't play videos anymore, because people can Google it and see it right then, they're not gonna sit for 30 minutes and wait, and if you're not sitting for 30 minutes, you're not watching the commercials,

and if you're not watching the commercials, you're not making money, on and on and on. I get it, I totally understand. But it was the greatest thing in the world, to run home from school and turn on MTV and see what was up with the music. They were taste amateurs. Countdowns and all that shit.

Ricky Rackman, I was a little young for Ricky Rackman. They do the Yo MTV Raps. Yo MTV Raps, 120 minutes. I mean, all this stuff, it was the greatest, the greatest for like 10 years. And then all of a sudden it just went away for, it went away in favor of teen mom and 16 and pregnant. Reality.

Yes. And I stuck with you through 16 and pregnant and teen mom. And you know what, what did I get for it? More teen mom and 16 and pregnant. I got nothing. I saw that the 16, there was a 16 and pregnant, one of those girls, women now, I guess that the son died. The Sun died and she was on season number one. You see that?

16 and Pregnant, like Teen Mom I watched, but 16 and Pregnant I would watch if it was on. I no longer watch anything MTV because I'm just like, I think I've aged out of anything that they're interested in showing me. But even the Teen Mom has gotten kind of born, it's gotten meta. They know they're stars and it's all about them, you know, their merch line and their next clothing and their energy, energy drink and all that other shit. Um, but you know, it's always sad to see that a child is died.

The kid was 16 or 17 years old and they haven't said why, but I didn't recognize the mother, uh, but it certainly was all over the news, as if she was a super superstar. But, you know, 16 and Pregnant was a show on MTV that showed 16 year olds that were pregnant, and they would take them through, you know, finding some time in the early pregnancy through the delivery, and then they followed up with some of them.

And it was revolutionary at the time because there were a lot of teen mothers. And so they- I didn't watch it, but you did. I did, and I always found it fascinating at the time because there were a lot of teen mothers. And so they would... I didn't watch it, but you did. I did, and I always found it fascinating how these girls tried to navigate their life. I mean, it's hard enough to have a kid

when you're in your late 30s, let alone have one when you're in your late teens. Fucking insane. Anyway, Hall and Oates met at a gunfight. That is so crazy. Cool story, dude. Yeah. Cool story.

Why don't more people know that story? Which one's Hall and which one's Oates? Hall is the blonde one. Hall is the blonde one. It's all blonde. He's the one who was doing the thing within like his shed or something. He had created a stage. Live from Hall's house or whatever it was.

Yeah, it was good. Yeah, Hall's Bar. It was so good. And I don't know why they don't do it anymore. More MTV bullshit that couldn't sustain. I think that was, was that a pandemic thing? It was pre-pandemic, but it went on during the pandemic. And I think they had like five seasons of it.

There's lots of musicians that played there, but I wish he would continue to, because he's a a great musician and then you put them with all those other great studio musicians Yeah, and another talented musician and they mix the music. It was so good Oh, they had CeeLo Green one time was it was fantastic Miley What what was that you people the guy from the Eagles? Glen fry Glen fry was there that was Fry was there. That was some Mazeballs. That was really good. Hootie from Hootie and the Blowfish. Darius Rucker. That's right, Darius Rucker. Anyway, it was a great show. Live from Darrell's house. Go see if you can find it

somewhere. I don't know. Maybe it still plays. Who knows? It may be on VH1. Maybe it's on Axis. Maybe. Now I need to go back and watch Axis more. Yeah, me too. I only watch two channels, really. TLC and my preferred news choice. And then I'll flip around to the other news channels just to see what's going on. But I can't even stomach five minutes of some of that.

It's like way too to the left or way too to the right. And I'm like, oh my God, honestly. It's the same story told completely differently. Perspectives, yeah. There's no such thing as facts anymore, nothing. But anyway, that's a rant I don't wanna get on. All right, 212-433-3TCB, 212-433-3822, questions, comments, concerns,

content, ideas, we take them all at that phone number, so send it in. We love talking to you. And apparently you love talking to us because that phone's busy It's busy at the commercial break on Instagram TCB podcast on tik tok YouTube comm slash they commercial break For all the videos the same day they air here on the audio. You can also go to TCB podcast comm That's our website and follow us on twitch and Kick at TCB Podcast.

We will be recording live on those two platforms soon. Pay attention to our Instagram for more information. Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for now. I think so. I love you. I love you. Best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast universe.

Until next time, we will say, we do say, and we must say. Goodbye. Hit pause on whatever you're listening to and hit play on your next adventure. Stay three nights this summer at Best Western and we must say, goodbye. Instacart matter most when your famous grainy mustard potato salad isn't so famous without the grainy mustard, when the barbecue's lit but there's nothing to grill, when the in-laws decide that, actually, they will stay for dinner. Instacart has all your groceries covered this summer, so download the app and get delivery in as fast as 60 minutes. Plus enjoy zero dollar delivery fees on your first three orders.

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