The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Roy Wood Jr. On The Democrats’ Win In Wisconsin | Cedric the Entertainer

Episode Date: April 6, 2023

Roy Wood Jr. tackles Trump’s arrest and Mar-a-Lago speech, Melania’s curious absence, and the monumental Wisconsin Supreme Court election. Cedric the Entertainer stops by to discuss directing the 100th Episode of his series “The Neighborhood.”See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You're listening to Comedy Central. Thank you. I'm sorry. I'm worried with you. Yes, indeed. Thank you. A brother's in the show. I'm worried with you. Yes, indeed. Now, no. Now, thank you.

Now, this is my third night. Thank you. Now, this is my thank you. Now, this is my third night hosting the Daily Show. Settle down, Ryder's. Settle down, Ryder's. It's my third night hosting this show, and it's been a blast. It's been a blast. Now, I know if you tuned in last night, you might have seen the homeboy John Stewart stop by and tonight, who knows,

Beyonce? But we got a great show for you tonight. I'll tell you who was definitely here is the homie Cedric, the entertainer. So let's get into the headline. Now, I like Wisconsin. All right, let's kick things off in Wisconsin. Wisconsin, Wisconsin's, Wisconsin, Wisconsin's the only place I've been to that sell cheese as a souvenir. I like that.

Now, I like that., I like Wisconsin. Wisconsin, Wisconsin only place I've been to that sell cheese is a souvenir. I like that. You want some cheese before your flight? Yeah. Cheese cars? You gave me cheesecurbs. No wrapping or nothing. Just butt naked in my hand.

But last night, Wisconsin had a critical election for the state Supreme Court, which has national implications for 2024. They had a far-right conservative versus a very left-wing liberal, and I don't want to presume anything about the political beliefs of the audience in the room right now. I know daily show fans hold a wide variety of views. Ah, who am I kidding? Y'all gonna start clapping. Show him the clip. In Wisconsin, Democrat-backed Judge Janet Proto-Sewitz has won the state's widely watched Supreme Court race. The court will now be controlled by liberals for the first time in 15 years.

Portisaywich's conservative opponent, Dan Kelly had punch loads after the election was called and criticized her, calling her a serial liar. I wish that in a circumstance like this, I would be able to concede to a worthy opponent, but I do not have a worthy opponent to which I can concede. This was the most deeply deceitful, dishonorable, despicable campaign I have ever seen run for the courts. And I wish Wisconsin the best of luck because I think it's gonna need it. Oh, you seem very sad about losing. Would you like some cheese?

Now, look, I know people think that it's classless to concede like this, but I'm gonna be straight up with you all good for my man. Now, do you just got his ass. Now look, I know people think that it's classless to concede like this, but I'm going to be straight up with y'all, good for my man. Dude just got his ass beat in front of the whole country and you want him to be gracious? Congratulations to my opponent, who is clearly a winner, unlike me, a little bitch loser. Look, I say as long as you accept the outcome, you get to talk shit. Hell, you let me spend millions running for judge, and then I lose? I run millions and I lose, oh baby, I'm up on that podium like Samuel J. Jackson.

Yes, they deserve to die, and I hope they're broken hell. But now, let's move on to the big story. The arrest of Donald J. Trump. Oh, you heard about it. Y'all heard about it? Okay, I thought it was just a little under, you know, a little... Yesterday was a momentous day for Donald J. Trump. He was indicted for 34 counts of falsifying business records, and also, one count of clogging the courthouse toilet. They added that one at the last minute.

So old Trump, he went down to the courthouse, looked around stupid for a couple of minutes, then fled on his private jet to Florida because, as you all know, Florida does not have an extradition treaty with the United States. He rolled up to Marlaago Lago Lago Lago Lago the United the United the United the United States. He rolled up to Marlago, and then he waved to a support us, and then offered to put a thumb up their butt. What is this? Seriously. What, who adds motion to a thumbs up? It's simple.

Just lock the elbow. Trump got to be the first person to add the jerk off motion to a thumbs up. Thanks so much for coming out. I really appreciate it. Wow. So then after all of that, it was time for Trump to give us big speech. And, sidebar, why are people still going to Trump speeches? Like, I get it, I get it, that's your dude, but you know what he gonna say. He said, he said, he's saying, Donald Trump is a comedian that ain't changed his act in years. You know what he gonna do. Liberal media be doing this.

And Joe Biden, Joe Biden and them they be doing this. Y'all know I ain't lying. Come on now, DJ Kicke. The only. The only thing that changes year to year with Trump is who his enemy is. And for this fight, he's got two new ones. In a defiant speech at Marlago, the former president claimed he's a victim and targeted the prosecutor and judge in the case. They can't beat us at the ballot box,

so they try and beat us through the law. The criminal is the district attorney. I have a trump-hating judge with a trump hating wife and family. Who you know go to trial and talk shit about the judge? That's bold. The judge could destroy you. He could destroy you and you're riling them up. You about to fight cocaine bear. You don't offer him crack first. And he didn't just call out the judge. Trump called out them up. You're about to fight cocaine bad. You don't offer them crack first. And he didn't just call out the judge. Trump called out the kids. You don't pull to the kids.

And even rappers don't go after the kids. And they murder each other. And Trump said the man has a Trump-hating wife. But to be fair, to be fair, I don't even know if that was an insult, because Donald Trump also has a Trump-hating wife. You can't tell me Melania don't hate that man. If anything, this week was confirmation. If y'all think, let me ask you this name.

During Donald Trump's 45 minutes as a political prisoner, where was his wife? Many people noticed the former first lady, the former president's wife, Bahlania Trump, was not in attendance last night. His wife, former First Lady Melania Trump, she was not there. Among the guests were ardent Trump supporters, including Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Green, and the My Pillow founder, Mike Lendell. One person noticeably absent last night was former First Lady Melania Trump. Even the pillow salesman showed up for the speech.

But his own wife didn't show up. And the speech was at the speech. But his own wife didn't show up. And the speech was at the house. Melania didn't even come downstairs. She just, she opened up the bedroom door. Oh, you're back from prison already. Oh. Now look, we're making jokes. We're making jokes.

But there's nothing funny about a former first lady not showing up to her husband's speech where he's complaining about getting arrested for lying about paying off a porn stock. Frankly I'm concerned about Melania's whereabouts so we launched a search for and that search is being headed by our very own Dulce Sloan Dulce! Dulce! Dulce? Now, do you're in Florida. You're in Florida. You're in Florida, Dulce. Hello, poor people?

Yes, we are very poor, Dulce. I mean, working! You down there on the coast. Are there any signs of Malania down there? Oh, not yet. You know, I've been looking for her at the beach all day. And after this I'm going to look for her at a brunch and then I might go look for her at the front row of a magic mic show. You know I'm vigil and see out here, yeah. Ain't the Magic Mike show in Las Vegas? I think you'd take an advantage of the corporate expense account.

We'll talk about that later. But first, let's just, while I got you, let's just talk about this whole thing. Don't you think that Melania should leave Donald Trump? I mean, the man was paying hush money to porn stars. Roy, Roy. You don't understand, son. The hush money was for Melania. She's the reason he didn't want people to know about Stormy Daniels. Shit, if he wasn't married, his campaign slogan would have been, a p-porn star!

B-pah-ba-ba! Okay. Before Melania, he paid a porn star $130,000. Oh, to know a love like that, oh. He paid a porn star $130,000. Oh, to know a love like that. Okay. You know, I mean, it's kind of romantic for a man to just break bread like that for you. Okay, I got you.

So then, so then you think Melania should stay with Donald. F. No. He cheated on her with a porn, sir. Come on. I've dumped men for a lot less. I'll to go up with a guy last week because he left that. I'm tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho. I tho. I tho. I tho. I tho. I'm tho. I'm tho. I'm tho. I'm tho. I'm tho. I'm that. I've tho. I've to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to that th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I got tho. I got tho. I got tho. I got the thooo. I got to to to to to to to to to to to to toail, sir, what year do you think this is? Just leave a comment on my Tick-Tock like an adult, grandpa. Okay, so I see what you're saying. So then you think Melania should have dumped Trump back in 2016? Oh hell no! Listen, Uncle Roy, are you listening? Why was she dump him when he just got elected

El Presidente? You cheat on me? You think I'm gonna let some porn star be the first lady? What the hell no? Nah, bitch, I'm getting a portrait, okay? A real one with paint and shit, okay? Okay. Okay, okay. I'm talking about a canvas or easel and we're gonna sit there for seven hours and look happy, damn it. Okay, going every which way then, don't say, just tell me what

the hell should Milani do then? She should be doing what she's been doing. Take advantage of Trump when he's president and when he's not, let his ass twisting the wind while you at home watching Martin Reruns and banging these poolboards. I mean she's doing it at Marlago right now. Wait so you know what she is. Well then why are you running up an expense account on my week? What you what? What you what? This is my week hosting and you're running up the bill with all this travel. Come on. Wow, this is how you treat a black woman? That's not a minute.

In April? No, no, no, that's not how a minute. Black women's history month? No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, that's not how I'm in it. Wow! Wow! That's not out. No, no, no, no, no, let me. No, I should be out here with a tale far bag and a more chestnut and you out here try

to act like I'm not doing my job. You know what? I'm gonna get on my jet ski. I got to do nothing this. Dilsay Sloan, everybody. All right. When we come back, Jordan Clepper looks back at Yonkid's madness at the courthouse. You don't want to the Daily Show. Yesterday Jordan Clepper was down at the courthouse with Donald Trump's arraignment. We gave you a little taste of it yesterday. We gave you a little taste of it yesterday, some Santos, some Marjorie Taylor Green,

but today we'll hear what the Trump faithful have to say. today, we'll hear what the Trump faithful have to say. Tuesday's arraignment of former President Donald Trump in New York was a first for the nation and brought out the passionate, the sensibly dressed, and the kind of men who really disappoint their mothers. True tenders. While I had fun getting into the scrum, I was surprised to find the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the kind the the kind the the the kind the kind the kind the kind the kind the kind the kind the kind the kind the kind the kind the kind the kind fun getting into the scrum I was surprised to find there were people who wanted to have meaningful conversations about the justice system. I don't believe what we're seeing is justice. You don't believe in the

grand jury process? I don't believe if this was a civilian it would. I mean he is a civilian he's a person but New York address so he shouldn't go through the grand jury process. I believe it should is a civilian. He is a person, but New York address. So he shouldn't go through the grand jury process. I believe it should be dismissed. Because? Because I'm going by a general gut feeling. The way I see is, you know, the government is stepping over their bounds and doing what they're doing here.

Inducting Donald Trump. This stuff happens all the time. What stuff? Paying off a board star and then fudging business records? I mean, come on, it's his own money for one thing. And out of all the cases up against Donald Trump, this is probably the weakest one. There's no evidence to bring about this prosecution. Well, we don't know that until there's a grand jury who can then see that evidence. You know, listen, I think that everyone should get a fair trial.

So you would support a grand jury looking at all of the evidence, and if they decide to indict Donald Trump, well then we will let that happen. Sure, certainly. If there's evidence, you know, every piece of evidence should be heard. I mean, that's what happened here. There's excitement in the air. It feels almost like the American version of a royal event. If the king fucked a porn star, paid her and then lied about it. The business record. It's like an American coronation. And then the Donald arrived.

The former leader of the free world was now possibly in the same room as a group of recently busted subway masturbators. I think he orchestrated all of this. Yeah, because his polls, like DeSantis was sort of, was rising. Now he's taking all the air out of the room now, Trump. In 2016, he had all the media, Fox News, CNN was covering now. Now they have to. Getting arrested, he's the smartest thing you could do. He's like one of the smartest guys and I know it. You're talking about the man who's getting fingerprinted inside that building right now. I think they fingerprint him already. They have they have his DNA. They have his DNA in a lot of different places.

This is like Trump. this is a lot of truclothable. He's like Trump. He's not touching his fingerprints. Yeah. you do. Would that that that that's that's that's that's th th th th the the he. He he. He the he. He's the he. He's the the he. He's the the hea. He's the the the the hea. He's the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. He's. He's. He's th. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. tr-s. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's untouchable, except the person who's literally touching his fingerprints right now. Have you donated to the Trump campaign since he was? I haven't thought about it up until now, but I guess I can terrorism. Trump has fundraise like over $5 million for this. So in some ways it's almost like he's getting paid to have sex worker? I mean it's cool, there's no judgment. Look, I think you guys are great. I love senses and humor, but in many ways you should appreciate this is not funny, because they're going after Trump today, they'll go after me tomorrow, and then they'll go after you. Did you pay off a port star and then lie about your business record? I'm sorry, that's got to be frightening. I guess he could come for us if we've been involved in hutch money payments and then lying on our business records and then

I'm using that when it comes to the campaign as well like I guess that could happen anybody Perhaps we don't need justice to be blind just friendly Thank you Jordan all right. Stay tuned because we'll be coming back Seger's the entertainer will be joining me on the show don't go away. I'm gonna pretend. I th. I th. I the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm gonna th. Thank. Thank. Thank. Thank. Thank. Thank. Thank. Thank. Thank. Thank. Thank. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. Thank. the the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the the the th. the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. t. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. I'm te. I'm te. I'm te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te stay tuned because when we come back, Century Entertainer will be joining me on the show. Don't go away. I'm gonna pretend to write on this paper. My guest tonight is one of the original Kings of Comedy. He's also the star and executive producer of the hit CBS series The Neighborhood, which will soon celebrate its 100th episode. Please welcome Cedric the Entertainment. Please welcome Cedric the Entertainer.

Please welcome Cedric the entertainer. Now, before we talk about anything, O.G. Let me just ask a serious question off the rep, man. What is your annual budget on hats? The hat budget is, you know, it's first, whatever it is, and then I take care of the kids' schools and all, let's go. Every time I see a hat, I never see a hat, repeat itself, it's just hats, just a bunch of hats. Does your wife have any room for her shoes? That's the constant battle. It's the, you know, brown hats against her shoes.

I've lost, I definitely lose in that battle for sure. Now, I had the honor of doing, you know, morning radio in Berman, 15 years and a lot of comedians, a lot of OGs came through when I was young in the game. It's something that I peeped about you all. Y'all always came in town when you had the time, you come in town a day early and go to the black mall parlay with the people. Do your shows, then on Saturday when you can sleep in a hotel, go to the black barbershops, parlay with the people. You're one of the most universally loved people in entertainment. Topped about, it goes you, Sinbad and Hamburgers.

And terrible. And I mean that seriously, what could politicians learn from comedians on just getting love from people and just interacting with folks? I mean, you know, really you can't do it just at the time of that you're running for office or whatever. I mean, the idea is just actually actually, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, mean, you know, really, you can't do it just at the time of that you're running for office or whatever. I mean, the idea is just actually, you know, making contact with people, looking people in the eye, feeling that vibe, you know, understanding who they are. You know, you see people out.

You know, you see, you know, I got this from Jay-Z. I see you, I see you, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, the, the, the, the, the, the, I see, the, the, the, the, the, the, I, the, the, the, I'm, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, I, I, I, I, the, I, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they.. the, they. the, the, their, their, their, their, their, the him know you see them, you know. All right. Yeah. I see you late clap. Okay. There's late clap over there. And then they go, wow, I'm a vote for said for me. Because he saw my hat. So the neighborhood. Yeah, man. Congratulations on 100 episodes. Yeah. Thank you. First and foremost. And you're directing the 100 episode of this well, thank you. First and foremost. And you're directing the 100th episode of this television program. And the neighborhood, I've always been a fan of it, because it's a show that positions itself

within the issue of gentrification and not addressing the bigger issue, but just what it means to be a black person in a black neighborhood and have white person come in and you figuring out how to keep your culture while also learning about someone else's. In the writers' room, how are you all able to tow that line on that issue and make it so palpable for everybody? That was always the thing with the show. I mean, you know, it was interesting because when when the show first came to me, it was here comes the neighborhood, and I was like, oh wait a minute, th.............. I, the the the the the th. It's, th. It's, the the th. It's, thi. It's, the the thi. It's, the the the the th. It's, the the the the th. th. the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the writer, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how the writer, how, how, how the writer, how the writer, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. We's, th. We's, th. We's, the the the the th. We's, the the the th.. And, the th. the the th. whole nother attitude right there. I'm like, I'm already there. The neighborhood already exists, right?

So, you know, it was one of those things where, you know, we wanted to be able to tell the story of like how you feel when, when things come, you do want to growth in your neighborhood. You know what I'm saying? So, you know, and that's the really how we tell the story. We got great actors. Max Greenfield plays Dave is just, you know, legendary, funny man, killing it. Tashina Arnold, Beth Bears, Marseille, theirs, we kill it man. So, so. Now, talk about directing. What was that like, because the episode premieres next week, but what was that like to sit behind that camera

and go, you do this, go get me a water, the mother. That was it. That was it. That's what I did. That's what everybody loved. I was like, you know, you know, the director, you know, you actually, you get to, you know, you're the canvas and just and so you know you get to you get to tell people you just for no reason I don't like the tie I don't like to tie lose the tie and you know what not the tie good keep tie all you know so but you know

but you know but actually it was that kind of thing where I got great actors you really just give them the best place to deliver and the to me so I that's th I I I I I I I I I I I I th I th I th I th I th I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the try. tie. tie. the tie. the the tie. the the the tie. the the tie. the the the tie. the the neighborhood and then the Soul Man that I used to have my other show with Nisi and so you know that's a that's the idea really just finding that place where a comic can get off or actor and just like show them you know show them where they need to be for it to happen. Well I can't thank you enough for what you've done for not just the culture to to to to to to to to to to to the culture to to to to the culture to to to the to the to to the to the to to to to to the the to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the to to the to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the for not just the culture of entertainment, but also just the culture of stand-up comedy. And it's not something that you teach your horn about. It's not something that you talk about a lot publicly, but I want to give you flowers today, OJ, because people try to measure stand-up comedians on the worth of,

well, who had the best special, or who had the best jokes but behind the scenes at this same show the neighborhood you have staffed and employed so many people black white women just so many people and there's so many comedians you know it's one thing to be someone in its industry and create a great comedy special but I measure the worth of a comedian by how many homeowners does he create within his team. And it's a bunch of them over there. Thank you so much. Say it the Entertainer, everybody. So, the 100th episode of the neighborhood

as April 10th on CBS and Paramount Plus. We're gonna take a quick break. We'll be right back after this. That's our show for tonight, but before we go, please, please consider donating to the Tutwiler Garden Program at Troy University in Alabama. The program partners college students with female inmates at Tutwiler Prison to to teach about horticulture and nutrition. If you can, please donate at the link below. Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching The Daily Show wherever you get your podcast. Watch the Daily Show

weeknights at 11 10 Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Fairmouth Plus.