The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 225 - The Birth of Porn (Live in SF with Wil Anderson)

Episode Date: December 8, 2016

Comedians Dave Anthony, Gareth Reynolds, and Wil Anderson examine the men who changed the sex industry, Jim and Artie Mitchell SOURCES TOUR DATES REDBUBBLE MERCH

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lady, don't get involved. No, she's right. It's not. Yeah, it is. No, we're not doing this. We're not doing this, Dave. I feel like I'm like locked in with this mic. This is the greatest setup of all time. Well, here's a tale about Fatherman. I'm gonna nod off during this. This is just luxury. Super. What is it? Luxury. Glamorous, I eat. This is like a second Stephen Hawking the show. I wonder what that guy would sound like. Go ahead. It's Gareth. So tired. Well, hello, San Francisco. This is our last of a very long tour. Oh, yeah, I saw that too. I don't know where they're coming from, but things are appearing. Yeah. So was

that there when we came out or did it just? Well, remember there was a big one earlier, a regular size hippo, and then now there's this. So I don't know what the fuck is. There was when we got here, there was an actual hippo here. By request. Is it someone in the front row that put that up there? You do. Okay. Figure this out. I would get it. This is like drinking champagne with a lover. I would grab that hippo, but these chairs are so comfortable. I can't move. Oh, hippo. Do you have any announcements? We should. Our book comes out in spring. Is it May 9th or 17th? And we would like to thank Patrick Barb, who helped us

with the book, who is supposed to be here. He's not here. No, he's dying from the flu. So he's dying. So he's gone. Well, whatever. The book's locked, so he can do whatever he needs to do. Yeah, we got what we need out of him. He's gone. And forgotten. No, he's great. And who else? There's something else. Kevin Jones, who helped me, did a lot of work writing this particular episode. I want to thank him. He lives here in San Francisco. And he also wrote the Hanford, the famous Hanford episode. The one where the river's gonna die in a few years. That one. Well, they're having fun. Oh boy. Anything else? No, there's something, but I've

forgotten it. Well, no, hey. Oh, we're the number one podcast in the world. Oh, we're the number one podcast in the world. We made it. We were number one on number one. No, I just said we won the, we won podcast. We won iTunes. And that's, we also should thank Steve Wilson. When we, yeah, Steve Wilson, he runs, he runs Apple. But when we hit number one. You gotta see their new galaxy. They have Apple, the iPhone's doing a galaxy now. Explodes bigger. It's a competitive market, DA. What are you doing? Checking out some shit. So we have a guest and he's a, he's a young buck. He's, he's just getting going in comedy

and we wanted to support his endeavors. He's good kid. He's trying. Good kid. Good kid. Good clean kid. Good clean kid. He's gonna come out here. He's gonna try his best and we want everyone to get behind him. And if you get a chance, I think his first, he's doing his first show in Melbourne this year, if you're down there. So ladies and gentlemen, Bill Anderson. I fucking love this theater, by the way. Yeah. What an adventure when we got downstairs and I was like, oh, we are definitely at the wrong place. This is, this is not where a fucking podcast is happening tonight. And then I realized, I thought, did they think that you booked with Wes Anderson? It looks

like the fuck is going on. Apparently I already signed that hippo and now I've signed it twice. Hang on. You've previously signed the hippo. Yeah. Yeah. This is the second time he signed this hippo. Do you have questions? You shouldn't. Should be no questions as to what's going on. I'll sign it spine. When did I sign? I signed that a podcast. You know what? I signed so many hippos. It's probably the only hippo I've signed, but now you got two, two of me and then Gary's like the saddle. Here, no, I'll write on his ass again. Give him a nice little. This seems like a bad time to do this. Signing stuff, maybe. There he goes. Well, I hope you're happy audience. What about Will? No, no, no. I feel like we've done enough.

Will won't sign it. People are like, no, no, no, no. We want to see another guy sign the fucking hippo. I have an idea. We came out on Sunday night on Thanksgiving, giving weekend to see some fuckers sit in more comfortable chairs than us and sign some shit. I don't know. Get on with the fucking show. We need to work tomorrow. That's what I was sensing from the audience. We're in a Wes Anderson film in a venue listening to a podcast we've paid for that we could listen to borrow in the car. Stop signing shit and fucking yell at a date and start this fucking story. To be fair, it seems pretty mixed. Can we hear those against? I mean, that's just crazy. I'm not like a trained monkey. You can't just

tell me what to do and then November 30th, 1943 seems kind of modern, doesn't it? Doesn't it? James Mitchell was born and stuck. Joey Lawrence is here. That guy gets it. I love that you were so reticent too. He was the one guy who didn't fucking cheer and clap the date in the first place. Everyone else is cheering and clapping and then you got in on it late. You're like, Oh, right. I suppose everyone else is doing it. And then you fucking knew what it was and you were like, Oh, I'm back. I'm interested. Shoulda clapped, shouldn't you? Yeah. Fucking believable. I'm upset. I know you'll be all right. Okay. James Mitchell was born in Stockton, California. His brother Arthur Mitchell was born two years later on

December 17th, 1945 in Lodi, California. Shout out. Are you guys really from Lodi? Yeah. Lodi till you die. My uncle taught high school history at Lodi. Do you guys have Pat Anthony as your teacher? Fuck it. Imagine if he had a student who knew nothing and he had microphones. My parents, JR and Georgia May were from Oklahoma and the boys grew up in Antioch, California, which had a large Oklahoma community. Okay. For their entire lives, the boys referred to themselves as the oaks from Antioch. Catchy. Yep. You're not going to forget that. No. And makes people love you. From a young age, the Mitchell brothers were taught that what was considered normal didn't matter. Only family did. Now that is loaded, huh? Will, are you

there? I can't see you. Hi. So the only thing that matters is family, not if you're following the society laws. Oh, you mean the other stuff that matters? All the stuff outside of your home, which is a good amount of life when you think about it. I don't know if that's going to be a thing that comes up. Interesting. In the fifties and sixties, JR made his living as a card shark. He also taught the brothers the importance of the long con and passed on his distrust for law enforcement. Jesus. All right. All right. When they were kids, he once ordered them to flip off a motorcycle cop who was driving by. Talk about a long con. I mean, you're playing that for a while. I mean, that feels like the shortest of all

kinds. Yeah. It's literally when you're like, let's brainstorm some cons. Okay. You could flip off a coffee. Yeah. That's it. Lock it in. Let's roll. All right. Now what? Rocks through windows. Bingo. The long con. Yeah. I don't know what long con means. Let's just kill him. Do the long con. Exactly. Yeah. Like I'm saying, the brothers were inseparable. They addressed each other as Bob. Hang on. Yeah. So they just can't. Okay. So firstly, they're inseparable. I imagine you mean just they hang out again. Yeah. They're not like that. No, no, they're not connected. Yeah. I mean, his brothers, like, which is weird. Like two years later, you're like, Oh, no, it happened again. Power lines. But they just

called each other. Yeah. It was a joke about the fact that they were around each other so much that they were basically the same person. Okay. Kind of a long con. Very much so, Bob. Thank you, Bobby. But there was a clear difference between the two. Even in the early days, Jim was the stern leader with big ideas. And Artie was the joker. Everyone wanted to be around. And they're always the life of the party, whether it be at school or at the local pool hall, local pool hall. Yeah. Who who writes that local the local pool hall. Yeah. I did. Oh, after high school, the way what just happened. Yeah. Okay. After high school, the brothers joined the army because that was the only way out of Antioch.

There's someone from Antioch that's laughing back there. Yeah, that's yep. Yeah, I get it. They had to join the army to get here tonight. So they're anti Antioch. She's rare. Thank you, Dave. The rest of you are sort of bleak. They're just all we miss just Jim served two years and then went to Diablo Valley College and then San Francisco State. Yeah. That was the beginning of around the when the SF hippie culture began. And every day there were protests about Vietnam and then some of the more colorful people were fighting for change with the cause of sexual liberation. Oh boy. What? I just don't think the Bobs are going to enjoy this. Ironically, because there's a lot of bobbing involved. Yeah, it's

true. Actually, yeah, you'd think the Bobs would be down. Right. Speaking of a down bob. A long con, a medium sized con. I don't care if it's a con. That's it. The man at the front of the sexual liberation movement in San Francisco was named Jefferson Poland. He had co-founded the sexual freedom league in San Francisco and many other cities. So they branched out. He started here in the sexual freedom league. Yeah. All right. They go full contact in that league, right? Oh yeah. Yeah. And the good news is no uniform. No unis. Fumble those balls. Coach, we're doing full contact today. Oh, we're going full contact. We're going to penetrate the defense and then fuck them. It's a two part system. It's an orgy. Let's

just get out there. It's an orgy. Poland would sit naked in the middle of college campuses like USF and UC Berkeley. No. Okay. How do people feel about that? It was the fucking time they were like, huh. That's okay. Yeah. Yeah. They just let it happen. But he's at university, right? Yeah. He would do it at universities. He would go sit naked at universities. But like, where do you keep your pin in your, in your butthole? Oh, what about any paper you have? What? Like any other stuff? Oh, you keep everything in your butthole. Oh, okay. I do. Do you want a pen? I do not want a pen. I'm good on pens. I don't need anything from you. I need nothing. In the Bay Area, the chapters of the sexual freedom league were

known to host nude parties, which were basically just orgies. They hosted at least 28 in the first year. So they're fucking knocking them out. Nude parties. It's like every second of the weekend, right? I mean, that is fast nude party math. This man is nude partied before. Oh, I'm familiar with that schedule. Yeah, you need a week. Trust me, you need the down week. It's every other week. Well, it's kind of like, like, well, it's like kind of like once a fortnight and then like in the holidays, maybe like once every week. Yeah. Right. Happy holidays. Thank you. Sort of, sir. Or polar days, as he would call them. His name was Poland. His name was Poland. Whatever. Fuck off. His name was. And Paul has two

meanings. He would have been like their polar days, you know, like he would have said that all the time. I bet he said that all the time. Yeah, constantly. Anyway, back to you, Dave. Eventually Poland broke away from the sexual freedom league that he started. Poland seceded. He seceded. And I started his own church called the psychedelic venus church. Good. Yeah, we're all right. That's like a hacky name you'd see on like drag net, like it's so fake. It's so fake sounding illegal party circuit. It's meaning all the members would smoke pot and then one of the women would be chosen to be the Venus. I got a bad feeling about it. No, no, it's gonna be fine. It's gonna be totally normal. She would lay on

an altar naked. Okay, so now let's, first of all, who has an altar? Yeah, but if you do have one, it's a waste not to get someone nude on it. That's that era stripper pole. It's the party stage. I mean, you don't just get a stripper pole to hang your fucking coat on like it's there for a reason. Yeah. Test it out. Yeah. I think like a flaka has one. Right. Yeah. You know what? I was on gumdry and it was like an altar and I thought that is a bargain and I just fucking got it. And now we need to get someone nude on it. Okay. So wasting away like he has some great alters. Great. The alters slogans. Yeah. Jesus. How the fuck do I put this together? So the woman would lay naked on the altar and honey would

be poured onto her vagina. And then came the bees. All right, you're Venus. Let's play hives. Come on guys. Let's play around a hive with her. Bears in the neighborhood were like. While the women watched each of the men would then lick the honey off the woman's vagina and then they would all have an orgy. Why the honey? Well, it's just they just like honey. It's like, you know, at a restaurant, like the chef will. Oh, it's an amuse-bouche. It's just something to get you in the mood, you know, get the. This is from the kitchen. It's my friend. Everyone gets to go and then we get a chef made this especially for you. Locally sourced honey. Organic. I know the bees. You'll love this.

It's a real farm to live your experience. Yeah, it's right from the label. It is just Poland would later legally change his name to Jefferson fuck Poland. Why? Because he loved to fuck. What is the F stand for? Well, also, it feels like Poland might have misread that to me like it does seem like it's a political statement more than it's a second. It's like, especially with the first name Jefferson, Jefferson fuck Poland. Maybe he wanted to fuck Poland. Right. My middle name is fuck. I got to do that. I have to do that. Yeah. A reporter investigated and wrote that Poland had difficulties having sex and had staged the orgies to help him overcome his issues. Oh, this is so weird.

So it's just like this guy, he can't. So he's like, trust me, I have an altar. Come over. We're going to put honey on her. The only way to get hard anymore is if like 18 people are fucking. Okay. All the things you have described do sound like they're made up by somebody who has never had sex. Yeah. Yeah. Then you put the honey on the vagina, right? As one does. We're going to catch up them titties and then do what we do. The regular stuff. My middle name is fuck. Put a McNugget in my mouth. Let's dance. All right. Do you want chili from my penis? How do we do this? After a little while, Poland started calling himself Jefferson clitlick.

It's a nickname. I mean, again, I mean, he's getting closer, I guess, but clitlick. And then, and then who's approving these names? Are they like, sir, what we approve? Fuck. Yeah. Too vague. I'm more of a clitlicker myself. Tastes like honey. If you put honey on it, what do I have to fill out and where's the notary? How does this work? Your honor, can I, can I just make one last statement? Oh, I'm actually changing it to Jefferson finger up the butt, Poland. I am learning so much. Nope. I want to be called finger bang. Finger bang Thompson. I've had a weird week. I want to be Jefferson is the G spot real Poland. I believe it to be like Narnia fictional and full of crazy beasts. Oh my

God. That's the talk I'm gonna have with Finn about how the vagina is like Narnia. It's in the back of your wardrobe. You can get lost in there for a long time. You might come back with some monsters. And then naturally Jefferson, he was left to take care of someone's daughter. And of course, he did something wrong. And then he ran off to Australia. Australia. Like, firstly, don't all like somehow that's now my fucking fault. Well, you did do it. Born and fucking raised in the USA and you exported your problem to our fucking country. Well, we have plans for a new press to where. Hey, thanks for not extraditing him until 1988. Yeah, why did you do that 20 years later? Why did you do it like that? Why are you harboring

creeps? Is he a friend? Be honest. Do you know him and hang out? Don't lie to all of us. Do you have you ever said, Hey, clitlick, what are you doing? Hey, clitlick got the honey. What's the addy? Okay, one time and he goes by Nutella nuts now. Delicious transition. Nutella. So Jefferson fuck Poland was far from the only guy. I thought he was clitlick. I like some respect for clitlick. I think he didn't change it. I think he was like, he was still officially fucked. Then he got a PhD and he was just Dr. clitlick. Why's your elbow hurt? No, tell Dr. clitlick I'm an arm doctor. Oh, that's just my name. That's my personal thing. No, I'm not a doctor of, I can't get hard.

So he was far from the only guy with a liberal view of sex in San Francisco at the time. Carol Dota was a cocktail waitress and go-go dancer at the Condor Club in 1964. One night the club's publicist commenced her to go on stage wearing a first of its kind, really Gernrich monokini swimsuit, which men, basically their boobs are just out. There was no. That's called a monokini? Yeah. There was no striptease as patrons used to. She just came out and danced topless for a half hour. Huge success. Quickly, there were lines. By the way, how proud was that fucking publicist of himself? Because it was the publicist who suggested it right. He's coming to the meeting and he's like, you know what? The bit where you tease

for 20 minutes, cut that shit. Walk out with your top off. That's the whole song and dance. That's the song and dance event. Get to the boobs. I don't know if this will work. I'm the publicist. The money's roll again. I went to publicist school. I know about these things. Tits out. I was naked at that school. Oh my God, fuck. Please, clit lick. I've turned the fuck page. That was an embarrassing phase. So North Beach in San Francisco became wall to wall topless bars. The dancing topless trend caught on across the nation. I love how you say that. It was the Macarena or like Gangnam style or whatever the one where you pretend you're a mannequin is. Oh, it's the hottest new thing. No, naked people has been

called forever. It's the original meme. It's like legalizing weed. That's probably going to help things for you. Lean into it. Up until now, they had burlesque, but they never just had someone coming on going, here it is. So this was like a revolution in titties. Well, I mean, it's just false burlesque. It's getting to it. At her peak, Dota performed 12 shows a night. Jesus. It's a lot. That must have started like five to 12, I would imagine. She danced for 30 minutes each one. Well, that's what the first one was. I imagine it was just dancing six hours a day. Yeah, it's like a lot of dancing. That's a fucking crazy amount of dancing. Well, this is a conversation we should have. I like it. I like the seriousness

of it. I think let's get into it. I mean, imagine being her guys. You know, when we like to slow it down for math. She was the first high-profile dancer to get silicone injections. Oh, right. So she's the first one of the big old taz. Medically speak. She went from 34Bs to 44DDs. Now, David, I think you're good at math, but I believe that those are much bigger. Yeah. That's mostly silicone. Well, those are, yeah. That's a whole different silicone valley. There you go. She is silicone valley. Ads ran calling her the new Twin Peaks of San Francisco. Because it was hard to understand her. Yeah. She ended confusingly and then came back. Her breasts were insured by Lloyds of London for 1.5 million. What? What does

that even mean? I guess in case they pop or they fall off. I don't know what happens to breast. And then so what? She just gets a payout? If her breasts get cut off by a breast accident. No. Something more fun though. Jetski. Jetski. Okay. What about one gets stolen, right? Right. In Indiana Jones style robber. And what they've done is in the middle of the night put something on that's of the equal weight and they've stolen it away. She goes to put her bra on and she's like, that's sand. And then the ball starts. Yeah. Then the other one down the corridor. Yeah. I remember. This all happened. Yeah. I don't have to read that part. Nope. Now, right around this time, Jim Mitchell had graduated from college with

a film degree and gained a reputation as a talented line producer. But it wasn't enough to pay the bills. So Jim got a doorman at New Follies, one of the two movie theaters showing newties. Sure. Newties. That's when he got the idea to take nude photos and sell them. His first new model was a random stranger he saw on a beach wearing a bikini. She was blonde and big breasted. So Jim went over and talked to her and convinced her to take her top off for $10 telling her the photos would quote make a lot of sailors really happy. Hashtag yes old women. Yeah. Yeah. He's not lying about the sailors. No, she was like, oh, it's if it's for the military. Oh, yeah, these boys are they can't stand

that much right now. We need you, ma'am. Show him. His idea was to make money off the photos and use it to make real films. But Jim had found his calling. He was really good at getting people to take their clothes off. Such a gift. And sometimes we need to get them to have sex while he took pictures. Yeah, well, look, I mean, you're having a session. It's a barely an escalation. Yeah, your naked sex, obviously. No, I've been there. Good Lord. I've been there. I mean, I've been there. I was there for five years. I was in a I don't like to talk about it, but I was in a horrible photography scandal where I was convinced to have sex on camera for years. You know, it's easy to fall for that stuff. You know, you go over

to a guy's house, a guy tells you meet over, he's got a great guacamole recipe, and you go, okay, I'll go over there. And he's going, oh, you know, you what if you got naked? You're like, I mean, I don't know. And then you do you do and that's it. And then you don't talk for a while. And you're like, whatever. And you've sort of dealt with it. And then, you know, you go, you go back a couple of times and it's drug related. And you go back a couple of times and then you know, the next thing you know, you're in sex on camera for money. So what? I did porn. I mean, it's like, you have your high fucking horse and fuck you, Dave. Honestly, not that I'm thinking about it. Fuck you.

Jim sold the photos very quickly. And easily to stores around the city and make good money. And then he decided to take it up a notch. Being a filmmaker, it was a natural transition to shoot films of naked women at the time. These are known as nudies. And it he could make even more money. So he made his first nudie filming a woman with her top off and he paid her $25. It was about six minutes long. So it's just it. That's it. That's all it is. It's just it's just the topist woman and she's being shot. I mean, isn't that amazing though, the first time that he ever made a porno, he got the exact right amount of time that people know. Then he met Danny Plot.

So it's just six minutes of just like sitting there. Like, are you sure? I mean, I imagine she moved around. Maybe. Oh, okay. She's moving around. He sold it to the theater he worked at for $100 site unseen. So he made $75 profit. Jim could make three nudies a week. It wasn't hard to find. Why couldn't he make more? I mean, not that he should have, but it doesn't seem like a stressful schedule to shoot 18 minutes a week. Well, you got to get the yeah, you got to get them. But it seems you got to get the couple of days on the script. Yeah, I write the script. Okay. I wanted to have lunch with you to talk about the character. She's normal. Yeah.

What I want you to think about is why doesn't she have a top? Yeah. Yeah. Has she ever? How'd you, how'd you get there? How'd you get topless? I like to think she's morning or it's a protest. How would we want to play it? It wasn't hard to find participants because it was San Francisco in the late 60s and free love was king. And it was a way for young hippies to make easy money as they transitioned from pot and acid to speed and heroin. Well, fun transition too. Yeah, fun. To pipe with those really terrible decisions, you're about to make. He's another terrible decision. It's a three fuck. Get in. It's a trifecta for you.

Even women on Jim's crew supported making porn because they believed in free speech. Does that match up? Yeah. Yeah. I think so. Okay. What are you thinking? I mean, I guess it seems it seems like you're fighting for freedom in a way, but I don't know about freedom. Freedom. Take off your top or whatever. Sorry. Freedom to have your boobs up. I don't think that's a say. Freedom of speech. Here they are. I'm talking with my tits. Sorry. I'm talking with my breasts. Oh, now I get it. I see it now. Now I get it. Yeah. Yeah. Jokes. I think we're, I don't know if we, how are you? What's going on over there? I, uh, oh,

sorry. I wasn't here for a bit. Um, are you thinking about breasts? No. I've been. So the quality of films were terrible. Not that it mattered because, of course, not that it mattered because the theaters spliced together all the loops they could buy to make a two hour feature. So they would take all these six minute films of women just topless and put them together and put it in a movie. Here's, here's this week's movie. Sort of. Is this the story about the guy who invented red jub because that is literally what you're describing. Red jub? Red jub or like you porn or like, anyway, I'm not going to name them all, but there are

places on the internet where. Well, you don't need to tell me I worked on it. It's weird. All I hear you, you're just saying bookmarks, my bookmarks. All I'm hearing right now. Yeah. Huff, Poe, and Pornhub. Where else do you need? So they would splice them together for a two hour feature and then they would run that for the entire week. Week? Yeah. So they'd run, they'd run it for a week and then. You've got to see this movie. Oh my God, the plot. It is. This girl takes off her top and then another girl takes off her top and another girl takes off her top and another girl takes off her top. I've heard about this one. Yeah.

This is where their tops are off. It's like last week's. It's like, yeah, that's what I'm thinking of. Yeah. It's like last week's. That one gave me a boner. Oh man. I know. Yeah. You were very obvious about it. Well, we shouldn't have sat next to each other. There's no one else there. It was super awkward decision making. Weird to sit next to each other. Weird not to sit next to each other. Right. We were there. We were there. We were there. We were there. We were there again. If the theaters didn't keep the material fresh, the horned dick daddies would go somewhere

else for their kicks. Sorry. What the fuck? The horned dick daddies? Isn't that a Brian Setzer band? Brian Setzer and the horned dick daddies. That's what the Mitchell Brothers called the guys who went to the theaters. You mean the Bob's? The Bob's. They call them the horned dick daddies. The horned dick daddies. They don't like the horned dick daddies. No, I think they're fine with the horned dick daddies. They're fine with the horned dick daddies. Yeah, they don't have problems with the horned dick daddies. They don't like the cops. Oh, right. The long con.

This is a long con. You're in it. But Newtys, which just showed breasts, went out of style pretty quickly. See, that's like the issue though, right? I guess from it, we keep evolving. We're like, let's go further. Let's go further. And now there's machines that'll pretend to be other humans that you just sit in and get fucked by. Like, we're never going to... What's happening? You see these... There's like virtual reality machines where you can sit there and then like a weird little like, you know... Like an utter suckers on your penis and you're like, oh, cool. Yeah, I don't need to talk to anybody. I can just lay here and get machine

fucked all day and that'll be that. I got to get groceries laid. I'll just grab a puppet. I'll just grab a puppet and I'll just get utter fucked here alone in my fake world. So we run out of water and then I'll be like, no, I need water to fuck the machine. Ah, I messed up. Anyway. As long as Amazon still sell Lube, it's all fine. Okay. You mean Amazonian Lube. That's the only one you use. You've always said that. Yeah, I don't... I like to get it straight from the Amazon because that's where Lube was invented. So, the Newtys got a style. So Jim's crew, which now included already

moved on to what were known as beaver films. Nature docs? Yep, about beavers. Look at the teamwork towards building the dam. We're going to build a dam and we're going to get the beavers to pay for the dam. Beaver films were of a woman showing her vagina and simulating masturbation. Simulating? Yeah, faking it. Just by the way, isn't... How do you... Let's be honest. Isn't simulating masturbation? Masturbation.

But it's not... I think she's not actually touching herself. She's not actually touching herself. No, I think that's why. Just slightly above. Yeah. And now some revolutionary guys are going to be like, what if she touched it? No, no, no. Hear me out. She almost is. It looks like she is.

What if she did? Holy fuck. Now that she's touching it, you know what I'm thinking. Honey? No, Clint, get out of here. We locked that door, Clint. You're in Australia. Honey? Sorry, I just did an Australian accent. You guys probably didn't get it.

You're doing an Australian accent. You guys didn't pick up on this? This is my normal voice. This is my Australian accent. It's amazing. It's very different to me. If you guys think it sounds the same, you're fucking racist. I do an Australian accent. Hello, governor!

All right, we're good. To me, that sounds beautiful. It's not right. So all the local porn directors in San Francisco were in competition, which caused them to constantly be pushing the boundaries. Soon the films were showing real masturbation. Because that dude came in. You're gonna love Chase. He's got a lot of out-of-the-box thinking.

Except on this one. And in-the-box thinking. But I guess it's gonna stop here, Gus. It doesn't go further. Yeah. There's no way. Soon a man was fucking a stool. By 19, my favorite Clint Eastwood sex type.

I told you, now I fuck you. They eventually called that anal, by the way. By 1969, there were 25 beaver houses in San Francisco. Wait, what? What do you mean? Beaver houses? Beaver houses, yeah. Actual beavers living in houses. Yeah.

What are the beaver... I mean, I know what they are, but what are they? It's a theater that's showing the beaver films. Beaver houses. Some guy thought it was leave it to beaver one day. This'll be fun. Holy shit. Where's Wally and Lumpy? I'm never leaving here.

There were an estimated 100 filmmakers and performers working on the beaver movies. Sure. The city was making... Also, by the way, that doesn't sound like the right odds. Are you saying there was 100 performers and 100 filmmakers? No, 100 all together. I was gonna say that is not a good allocation of resources. No.

One filmmaker for each porn industry. It's kind of like a big brother situation in a way. And switch. All right. The city was making a name for itself with porn. A great name? Nope. The New York Times magazine declared San Francisco to be the porn capital of America.

Even though... That's right. You guys should be proud. You lost it to... Chatsworth. Yeah, Chatsworth. You'll get a stray dog or porn in Chatsworth. We've got all two in Chatsworth. Even though showing beaver films was illegal in the city,

the cops never bothered with beaver houses because they were too busy dealing with all the crimes from the city's growing drug problems. And the DA never prosecuted cases anyway, so there was no point in doing anything about it. No one cared or complained. Even Supervisor Diane Feinstein was in support of residents watching theater porn, as long as it didn't hurt others. Whoo! She was just...

Remember when she was a human? After making hundreds of films, the Mitchell Brothers wanted more. They wanted to open their own theater. Artie and Jim scrounged every nickel and dime they had and borrowed from anyone and everyone. And then they started looking for a theater. The space required two things. One, it had to be in a safe neighborhood so the horned dick daddies wouldn't have to worry about getting mud. And secondly, no carpet.

Some sort of hosable floor, I imagine. A little nolium back then, maybe, I guess, but definitely something. Two, they had to be able to put their names all over it so the customers would know that it was high quality. Oh, so they're the name you can trust in beaver flicks. Wow, never mind. After several rejections, the brothers convinced the owner of a former Pontiac dealership on O'Farrell Street to give them a long-term lease. That's great. They painted the...

What are you gonna do with it? Well, we got some ideas. Are you familiar with horned dick daddies? We're tapping into that market. I am a horned dick daddy. Oh, okay, yeah, well, we make beaver films. I'm Bob, this is my brother Bob. We only believe in family rules, not yours.

Anyway, this will kind of be like a masturbating factory. You sell all models, that's awesome. You guys had a good thing going. So, they painted the windows black and put in 200 theater seats and set up a movie studio upstairs. The O'Farrell Theater was born. It opened during the first week... It opened in the first week of July 1969. By the end of that week, it made $600.

The next week, $1,000. The third week, nine cops kicked in the door. Well, you almost said nine cops kicked in the door. That would have been the best, by the way, even if it was the two combined. There was like nine guys, but it was so free love back then that the cops came in no battens, just erect penises. Yeah, just their belts out in their badges, their hats. It was just like, guys, cocks out, you know, if you leave no bruises, you can dick slap them. Oh, right, guys?

Yeah. Turkey slaps only, guys, come on. Come on, guys. You know how to deal with this. You knew the deal. Come on, guys. Come on, guys. Cock-cock, who's that?

Guys, cock-cock. Use that cock. So, yeah, the cops kicked in the door, ripped the film that was playing out of the projector, knocked over furniture. We're taking this downtown. And told the employees they were coming for the Mitchell Brothers next. But the Mitchell Brothers were actually upstairs hiding because they had a bunch of weed. Jim later turned him... You know they just smoked it.

Oh, yeah. I mean, that's not the... You try to escape, but if you're high, you're like, dude, hide behind the cans. I don't know, what do you want to do? This is good stuff. Shit, dude. I think I'm getting paranoid. I feel like there's a bunch of cops downstairs.

I love you, Bob. I love you too, Bob. Bob's not here, man. Oh, shit, Dave was. So, Jim later turned himself in and was booked for hardcore obscenity. Yeah, like, hell yeah. Hell yeah. The worm was turning in San Francisco against the liberal sex views.

Politicians and local population had it had enough. Families didn't like seeing movies like Pink Beaver and the ABCs of Sex on huge billboards. But you can't judge Pink Beaver until you've seen it the whole thing. Also, how do you know that's not about a Pink Beaver? Yeah, it is. Yeah. It is. It's delightful.

It's a story about, it's like Rudolph, but with a beaver. Yeah. He's the best builder. It gets a lot of dick. Yeah. It turns out he's a shaved beaver. That's why he's pink. But it still is whatever.

It's a good kid's, it's a Disney movie. Yeah. It was originally called Big Pussy. But they went with... And there were rumors of a theater in the Tenderloin showing a film of a man fucking a pig. Rumors. All right. So now...

I mean, you know what? So the guy who was like, maybe she touches it next, they brought in a new brain. It was like, fuck it, just have that guy bang that pig. Come on. The one thing we know about the inner suburbs of San Fran is they like bacon. Put some bike in it, I'll love it. I love that it's a rumor that... Did you hear?

Did you hear about the movie they're showing in the Tenderloin? Oh man, forget it. You don't need to go to a beaver place. Go to the pig hut. Wait, what? This dude bangs a pig. Why would I want to watch that? Oh, it's tail straightens.

Ah, dude, it is. Man. As a guy, as a pretty conservative guy. I was like you. I was like, I don't want to watch. Dude, you see it? Ah, I saw it. Oh, dude, dynamite, right?

Ah, when he orgasms and he says, that'll do, pig, that'll do. Dude, he hasn't seen... The best. Dude, he hasn't seen it yet. Don't tell him, dude. He hasn't seen it yet. Oh, sorry, he says spoilers. Spoilers, spoilers.

Spoiler, yeah. Spoiler. Yeah. Oh, dude. Dude, it is... Oh man, you gotta get there. I'm a vegetarian. Yeah, me too now.

I mean, I gotta keep those babies around. That's what I say. I don't want it in my belly anymore. I want the opposite. You guys are being a little oi for my fucking taste. What do you think this is? And to top it off, there was now a new DEA, so DA, who found porn offensive and would prosecute cases.

The cops tried to put more pressure on the theaters. During raids, they started arresting customers and charging them with viewing obscene material and beaver house audiences thinned. But the Mitchell brothers were fighters. They hired a lawyer named Michael Kennedy. He had defended the infamous Chicago Seven and Huey Newton. Kennedy went right after the obscenity law. He convinced a judge to file a restraining order against the police, who were now barred

from arresting the Hornedick daddies. So the Hornedick daddies are secured? Yeah, they're fine. Now they can't get fucked with. Right. So they've essentially got Hornedick daddy immunity. Yeah. They have HDDI.

The next day, the cops raided the O'Farrell, but this time they just turned up all the lights and shamed the customers. Oh, that'll stop pervs. They're like, oh cool. You know there were a couple people in there who were like, this is kind of my fantasy. Have you watched? Holy shit. I'm always like this.

Hey officer, can you shine your flashlight over here too? I feel like this shaming thing is not working. That guy keeps winking at me. How you doing? How are you? How are you? Good. Yeah.

Oh, light, lights off. No, no, keep them on. Turn the strobe on. I have so many weird fantasies. Turn your sirens on. Sir, is that a pig? Let me lick your badge. Come on, don't be weird.

You guys have created the perfect environment for me right now. Let me sniff your belt, lick the badge, touch your hat. Come on. The police arrested Jim and Artie. The raids continued, which caused the press to follow the story. Also, reporters just wanted to hang out with the hard-parting Mitchell Brothers. I like that. And the crowds at the theater increased because people assumed if it was being raided so much,

it must be because it was showing the hottest movies. Right. That's amazing. So they're helping. Yeah. Yeah, the cops, it's so hot there that the cops watch you. It's insane. I don't know what their plan is.

Can I be a bike cop? No, go to the theater with a guy's jacket. Come on. The rookie's throwing up again. Kennedy then won the Mitchell Brothers case. That's crazy. It also helped that a commission had been appointed by President Lyndon Johnson to look into porn because of a fear that porn was leading to rapes and murders.

So an 18-member commission studied the impact of pornography on American society. I will volunteer for this position. I will gladly, I think, as disgusting as it is, I would love to throw my hand in the ring. My hand was up first. How many are we talking about? Because I will legally fight this man. No, no. I'll do the injustice.

I've been jerking off since I was eight. Oh my God. Look. I belong on that panel. Do you know how many titties I've seen? I'm going to need to watch them all again to come to my decision. My beautiful decision. I have an army of cummed-in socks in my closet.

I deserve to be on this commission. We're sending them to Vietnam. I've never fucked a woman, I just masturbate. Put me on the commission. I'm coming right now. Put me on the commission. The commission. What's going on, Will?

I know, I felt like you guys had that one. I felt like you didn't need a tap on the shoulder. I'm here too. Mary Gismas. Man, you want cold during Gismas. I'm sure there's someone in here who invited their wife or whatever. They're like, no, it's not that dirty, it's not that bad. It's just like a history podcast.

It's not that only. This is more dirty than you know. It's way more dirty. An 18-member commission studied the impact of pornography on American society after two years. I think we should start watching these naked. Do you really understand the plight? I feel like this next sentence is going to, I'm going to enjoy. Could you just repeat what you just said there at the end? After two years and two million dollars?

Yeah, go. That's what I thought of when I read that. 18 people, two years, two million dollars. Yeah, on porn. No, we just didn't know the month. How much more do we have for lube? What's the lube budget? What is the lube budget? We are past our lube.

Well, we need more. We are really learning a lot. We will figure this out together. Gatorades would be good too. We are electrolyte-wise light. That is a spicy rumour to say the least. It is. I'm leaving my wife. The commission would like to rule that it likes to watch its buddies fuck.

How are you doing? I'm with you. Just no more eye contact. I told you that in the room many times. The commission recommended that the U.S. abolish all pornography laws and let the marketplace regulate the industry. Of course. After two years of consideration. After much masturbating, we have decided

that this is not only okay, we could go further. Did you hear the one about a man who fucked a pig? We have been murmuring of that for... Quite a time. It turns out average people use porn, usually white middle class, with a conservative background. After the court victory, the cops eased off and let the Mitchell brothers alone for a while.

They just had to go watch masturbating for a while and nothing came of it. Oh, hi. The theater really took off. Now that they had a lot of money, the brothers decided to direct their first feature-length film and started looking for their star. Marilyn Briggs was a 19-year-old, gorgeous, innocent-looking blonde who had done a lot of commercial work. She responded to the Mitchell's casting call ad.

She was married at the time, but it didn't stop her. Jim and Artie wanted her as soon as they saw her because she was so innocent-looking. She held out for twice what they were offering. They gave that to her and they gave her points on the movie. They came up with her stage name, Marilyn Chambers. Sir, you probably expected other people to react like that. That was a lonely whistle. You better have a bird on your shoulder. Otherwise, whoever you're with is like,

I'm gonna get an Uber. No, you don't. I just heard Chambers and I love where judges go. What's going on? I can't find my pig. The movie Behind the Green Door was based on a short story. Behind the Green Door? You've never heard of Behind the Green Door?

No. Holy fuck, you're so innocent. I heard that shaken Steven song. Was that Behind the Green Door? Does anyone remember Shaken Stevens? Was that a thing over here? No, it wasn't. No, no, yes!

I don't know, maybe it was just an Australian thing. There was this guy called Shaken Stevens and he had a song. It was like an Elvis guy. Behind the Green Door. Am I making this up? Even if you aren't, it's something in Australia. You could make it up, it doesn't matter. We have no idea, nobody's gonna...

You motherfuckers have heard of Yahoo! Serious, but not Shaken Stevens. Yeah, we've heard of the greats. Yeah, yeah, we know the best. Yahoo! Serious, Paul Hogan, the list... Ends. Behind the Green Door? Okay, so Behind the Green Door was based on a short story that was shared among soldiers during World War II. That's where your best plots come from, for parts.

Let me tell you all a porno. That's what they had to do. And then she's naked too. And then they start kissing and touching each other. And then they... fuck. Let's go get them Germans. Alright, let's do it. We are fighting for a democracy.

Hey boys, before we go out and fight, I want to tell you this story about how a lady fucked three black gentlemen. Hey guys, gather round, Willie's telling a porn. Quit eating beans, darn it! Go ahead, Will. Y'all gonna love this porn. I came up with this the other day. This one dude's there to fix the toilet. But she's married, so he figures nothing's gonna go on.

Why would it? Dude's out. Guy's fixing the toilet. She starts flirting with him. Well, one thing leads to another. Let's just say toilet's not the only thing getting fucking plunged. I got a gift. I'm very vivid with them.

Y'all want to hear another porn? This one's nuts. That has to have happened at some point. Some guy being like, let me tell you something hot. Alright. There would have been a time for sure. Okay, so here's the movie. Here's the movie plot.

A wealthy socialite is taken by force to a sex club. She is made to have sex with six women, dressed in black in front of an audience of masked strangers. She then has sex with professional boxer Johnny Keyes. I'm sorry, I don't mean to make it seem like the plot's confusing. I guess I just need to hear some of it again. Okay, so I'll start from the beginning of the movie. Sure, from the beginning of the movie.

A wealthy socialite is taken by force to a sex club. She's made to have sex with six women, dressed in black in front of an audience of masked strangers. She then has sex with professional boxer Johnny Keyes. It's crazy and then it's insane. Now he was a black guy, which was a huge deal at the time for a black guy to be fucking a white lady on film, or I think at all. Or a boxer in general.

It was not a time when boxers did porno. Right. Very controversial. It wasn't a big, big, it wasn't a usual career path. No. I mean, they had been that movie cocky, but... That was, yeah, that is a good one. After that, I love this, I was like, oh, that's your life, fuck off.

So after she fucks professional boxer Johnny Keyes, she is suspended by a trapeze where she blows five men at once. Whoa, now, wait. This is now like an American Ninja Warrior or something. Yeah. We're talking about the first porno and they've already borne away most. Yeah, but it sounds like if Busby Berkeley was like, I'm insane about sex.

And then they synchronize, suck the dick. She'll rotate. In the air. In the air. Waterfall. I mean, it's like the opening ceremony of the Sex Olympics. China's was so weird. And so watching her blow the five guys on a trapeze,

then the audience that's watching breaks into an orgy. What? There's a psychedelic sequence with shots of cum flying through the air and several slow-mo cum shots. They all are in a way. Slows to come down more. I want to experience it. It ends with chambers going outside the club

and having sex with someone in an alley. And then credits. Who wants credits? First start, that feels like an unnecessary final act. I feel like after the trapeze, why is she just going to an alley for like, that is like the last, the trapeze is the last battle in the final Lord of the Rings movie.

And the alleyway is Frodo getting on that fucking boat. And then you end up B-roll. Why is this still going? No, no, no, trust me, trust me. Then she gets fucked on a dumpster. It's just as amazing. And then you've got to wait until after the credits for the tazer for the next one.

Get ready, you'll see the character we're going to use in the next one at the end. Artie started directing the movie, but the film from the first day of shooting was completely black. So Jim took over and directed it. Wait, what did you mean? Artie was directed the first day,

but he must have had the lens cap on him some shit. Literally, he shot nothing. So she was like, I'm sorry, I spun around and suck five dicks. He was like, you did, but good rehearsal, right? I feel like we know now that when we're there, I feel like what a champion, too. The guys are willing to do it again. I don't know why.

They're actually saying they have more takes in there. The point is we need... So they made it for $60,000 in 1970. They made $2,000,000 in under a year. That was from just three theaters. Wow. Smelly, horrible theaters. We know it's smelly, but we don't want to hear that it's smelly.

The main critique of the film was that it made absolutely... The theater was smelly. The main critique of the film was that it made absolutely no sense. Even with the alley twist? That's M. Night Shyamalan-ish. I've seen it six times, and I don't understand why she's blowing guys on a trapeze. I saw it coming. You knew she was going to get on a trapeze and blow some guys?

No, no, I'm talking about the slo-mo jizz. Oh, fair. I saw it. Fair. All I see. The first time it was shown, the projector had the reels out of order, and it just made people horny. That's...

Wait. It's a waste. No one noticed. No one noticed. I assume it wasn't mid-sex scene, though, because that might have been confusing for people. It would probably be better if you started with the alley. I mean, not to note them to death, but that would be a better cut. I know.

It'd be like, hey, whoa, oh my god, they're masked, they're all fucking sucking five dicks. Wow. Instead of being like, yeah, whoa, recycling. Playboy called it catnip for young couples, and even the conservative Saturday review took notice. At this point, Marilyn revealed to the Mitchell brothers that she was the face of ivory soap. Oh. I mean, if anything would be handy after that day, it's some soap. The reason I bring it up here.

I mean, I feel like it's like, hey, I spent all my day covered in jizz, but ivory soap. But when you need to get the jizz right off, right away, ivory soap. It's as white as the jizz, ivory soap. Cut. We got it. That is dynamite. Ivory's not here for the shoot, but I love everything I've heard. Ivory gets the come off.

It's perfect. When she was 18, she had gotten the ivory soap gig and posed with a baby. Her face and the baby were on all boxes of ivory soap and newspaper ads all over the country. Well, in a way, though, they're just doing the prequel. I like it. And now she was blowing guys on a trapeze. The Mitchell Brothers held a press conference where they told the world the ivory soap lady was a porn star in their new film. Ivory soap did not renew her contract.

Did they give a reason? The popularity of the film exploded after the announcement. Now tons of theaters wanted to show it. The Mitchell Brothers ended up making between 50 to 80 million from the movie. Oh, my God. Yeah, it's like the Blair Witch Project of... Like, fucking and something. Orgasms.

Yeah. Fuck movies. Yeah. Chambers and the Brothers were invited to show it at Cannes. What? The Cannes Film Festival showed, behind the green door, to a sold-out theater, and it received a standing ovation. Yeah. Why are we so...

I love it. The fucking... I like it. The pie. I mean, they have literally gone from show she cans to show it at Cannes. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know why we're so hard on the French in this country.

They seem to really get it. Showing up at Cannes. We have no notes. It's fabulous. It is perfect. The only thing I'd say is the only thing could be a little longer, you know? Yes. Maybe, maybe slow down.

And... Slow down as they come, as they fly. What you do the next time, get her to fuck a kickboxer and suck 9 dicks on a title rope. Okay, I think it... Yeah. Really? Oh. Maybe a little beret.

Okay. But then, Cannes, a Supreme Court decision, ruling that local communities should be able to define their own standards. So, theaters that wanted to show the movie could be blocked by local politicians. But the brothers loved to fight and sent their lawyers all over the country to take on various city governments for theaters. Financially, it was always worth it. The movie was a hit in every city it showed, and the trials just increased the film's popularity.

That... We learned that over and over again. Yeah, we really did. Just when there's... When you're just... There's a sleeping giant that wakes up. Don't do anything. Yeah, leave it.

Just let him kick around for a while, tuck her out, instead of being like, This is the worst. Listen, everybody, you're all gonna be freaked out, but you can watch people fuck now. Where are y'all going? Why are you guys running away? Guys, where is everyone going out the door? In the theater, I specifically said, Y'all want to hear a porn?

I dreamt a boot last night. Two girls. You're in already. When a mobster, Robert DeSavo, started bootlegging copies of the movie, the FBI asked the brothers to testify against him. DeSavo's defense was that copyright laws do not extend to pornography, so there was no crime. An appeals court ruled for the brothers, and behind the green door received a copyright,

as well as stating it shouldn't be subject to obscenity laws. So, the FBI helped legitimize pornography by inadvertently getting it declared not obscene and copyrightable material. God, I love the FBI. It's a real love hate with those guys, it really is. The Mitchell Brothers started acting like two okies from Antioch who had struck it rich. Cocaine flowed, and Artie was spending thousands of dollars a day on the drug. They started hanging with stars like Sammy Davis Jr. and Hunter S. Thompson.

You always get the impression if someone had free drugs, fucking Sammy and Hunter would fucking show up. We're really excited to meet you guys. We're big fans. We're huge fans. You guys are big players. Hunter's excited to be here. The comedy mode came.

He was a big sex guy, Sammy Davis Jr. He loved fucking, so he was just there to fuck ladies. When he died, he said on his deathbed, I forget why, I took it out here, but he said, now I can fuck 16 year olds. Wait. Are you being serious? That was one of the last things he said. That is a very interesting spiritual philosophy.

Why did he mean that? Like in heaven, that's what happens. They have driver's licenses in the sky. What is the angle? There's another part to that quote. There's another part. He said he can fuck 16 year olds because he doesn't have to worry about AIDS. Oh.

You know what? When you yelled out, there was a second part. I thought it was going to make it better. The way it was yelled out seemed to indicate it would contextualize. Oh, it was contextualized. No, it made it. It gave it a lot of context. It's like hearing that Kim Kardashian is at your party and you disappoint it,

but then she brought Kanye and you're like, oh fuck. Oh, don't worry, she brought Kanye with her. Oh, God. And he's drunk, so it'll be fine. Yeah, that's how you don't get AIDS. What a crazy... Is he on heroin on his deathbed? Let's not judge people's final words.

Well, there are some good ones, though. There are some winners. Yeah, I'm just excited to fuck 16 year olds. Because I won't get AIDS, babe. Sammy, go die. Sammy, die. Sammy, die. You know, I always wanted a bunny to jerk me off, babe. Sammy, go die already.

Yeah. Do you think maybe he'd been trying to come up with some cool last words? Like, you know, Oscar Wilde, either these curtains go or I do sort of, and he's like, I want to fucking nail it. He goes with a really good one, but he just doesn't die, so then he has to toss up another one, and he's been going for like a day and a half, and he finally gets a...

Now I get to fuck 16 year olds, because I won't get AIDS. Ow! No, wait. It's been chocastic, but... I always like dog penis, but... Sammy? Let's never speak of this. The Mitchell Brothers made more movies with Marilyn,

Resurrection Eve, Sodom, and Gamora, but then she met Chuck Trainor, who had just divorced Linda Lovelace. He said he would make Marilyn a star, and she split from Jim and Artie and went with Trainor. The Mitchell Brothers then made a documentary about her permission using previously unseen footage from her shoots to make the movie. At this point, the brothers discovered a new cash flow,

live entertainment. They had taken a trip to New York City and went to a strip club and saw something that they had never seen before. I mean, it's hard to imagine what that was. I would suggest everybody grip their chair. Thank God they're cushiony. It was... Four naked women came onto the stage and laid down near the edge

and spread their legs. Between them were piles of tissues. Then men in the theater... Between the legs? All between the women. I think between the legs. The men in the theater then lined up. Yeah, good response.

One by one, they would go up and wipe each of the women's vaginas with the tissue and then lick them. At least they clean it first. I mean, firstly, you say one by one, but how was that order allocated? It's like when you get the body of the church. It's what? I'm just saying, even though that's a weird thing,

I would still want to go earlier rather than later in the process. Like the book, could you book like to get in earlier or would you have to get there at four to be like... It's like concert tickets. Some guys are like, can I go last? Well, if you get there at noon and then they give out rest bands. Oh, right. God damn it, I'm number 18.

And fucking Robert has the worst breath. Sorry. Okay, so the men would go down the line like a conveyor belt, kissing one vagina, then wiping the next one. Someone thought that up and it worked and I hate men. I don't even get it. I don't know why anybody wins. No one wins. Everybody's sad.

It's like a sad factor. Everybody's like, no, no, not enough of anything or too much. It's not enough. Hey, Bob, man, there's this great thing I'm doing now. You want to come down? I don't want to tell you what it is, but just trust me, it's fucking great. Hey, let me ask you this. Have you ever had five ice cream cones with your friends

and each licked the other ones once and that was it? Nope. I don't have any more things to say to you. Here's a general tip. If you're doing something sexual where you think your dog would look away and shine, I just, I would just, I would be in line just like crying. That's what you use to clean eggs. I'm wet too. I feel like that's what the tissues are actually for, the crying,

about the bad decisions everybody in this situation is about. Also, it's tissues. What are you, what is the plan here? Oh, don't worry. They erase everything. They're tissues. They're tissues. You know how they are. They get everything. They're tissues. They don't flake it. It'll be perfect and it'll be put in on moisture and it really does exactly what you need in this situation. Now you tell me there's rolls of bounty, I'm listening.

No, I think it's, it's like you're wiping the other guy's saliva off. I think it's like kidding you from getting a cold. A cold? Nobody in this fucking place is worried about the flu. Wait a minute, is that, do you have a cold? I'm not contagious anymore. I swear. I'll just put the lighter on it for a second. I'm not sick anymore. I'm done. This is the lake he took us to swimming. It's your city.

The brothers returned with the goal of transforming live entertainment like they had film. They tore up the theater. Like, I mean, that is a lofty way of explaining to fucking guys who saw some guys kiss some women's vaginas and came home and were like, we're going to revolutionize entertainment as we know it. No, you're getting some tissues. So they tore up the theater and built booths where customers would get private shows behind one-way mirrors. They called it the ultra room.

The shows were just weird enough that they were both sexual and a spectacle. It was an immediate financial success. A reporter from the Chronicle reviewed one of the shows, writing it was pure genius. Wow. What is happening? Hey, boss, I'm going to go down and do a review of a show. A review. It's a show where there's a naked lady.

Wait, what is it? There's a naked lady behind a... You do movie reviews. No. You're a critic. Yeah, but sometimes I get into live stuff. All right, look, you're rubbing your pants again and we've been over this a number of... It's hot in here, right?

Yeah, no. Let me review it. Oh, I'm going to need some tissue. What? For movie tissue. Movie tissue? Oh, yeah. I'm so hot right now.

Get out. Okay, I'm going to go review it. Yeah, no, you won't be here long. It's pure genius. You can't go in there with that attitude. You're a critic. Trust me. Not only are you going to weird stuff, but you're biased.

On two levels, you should be fired. I mean, do you like pussy? Get out. Because I'm biased. I love it. I like to lick it in a line with like nine guys. All right. We're not sharing life.

They should sell it out. Now get out. Ice cream trucks. They should go around. Please just... I have said go like eight times. I mean, I mean, leave. And it just pulls up.

I'm asking you to go. And then you give a guy a dollar. Actively saying I want no more of this. And a little door comes up. Over it, don't need it anymore. And then you can... Get out, shut the door. And then you can lick it.

Stop going to these places I'm done. And you lick it. Don't talk. I'm being serious. And then the truck... You're getting fired. And then the truck dries off. I'm firing you.

You're fired. Leave. But it's got a difference. I'll call the cops. I'm not fucking around. Leave. It's got it. It's not...

Shut the door. Get out. Get out. Get out. It's not the same as the ice cream. Get out. It's not the same as the ice cream. I don't want any more.

Leave. The music's different. I'm done with you. No. The music's different. Stop it now. I'm putting it over the pipe. And then...

My uncle taught me how to tie a noose. And then... I'm lacing it. Pussy church here. It's over my throat. Pussy church here. I'm on the chair. So, six months later, police raided the theater and arrested six people.

They were only given citations, but the Mitchell Brothers still fought them. Were there more than six people in there? Probably not. Yeah. So they're just like, Sixters are like, wait, why? What's happening? But... Why?

My buddy. And they decided to take it further. After the raid, the Mitchell Brothers began allowing patrons to bury their faces in the vaginas of dancers for short periods of time. Get a five count. Five count. One, two, three. From the top.

From the top. You count backwards. Five, four, three, two, one. Out of the vagina. Five, four, three, two, one. Lift off. I'm off. They had a few live sex shows with men and women, which was a huge no-no.

It was okay for a woman to have sex on stage, but not a man. I love how in the entire history of this podcast, the double standards... Oh. It never fucking ends. Well, now it's like a man can't do it. That's messed up. Ladies, right this way, please. I don't want to see any dick on stage.

It's disgusting. A man will embarrass himself. Get the tissues, girls. Get out there. You know the drill. Come on. You always want... You always say you want to be equal, but be a generous.

And then word got out, and there were lines down the block. Knowing the past raids had not worked, police held off, and city officials, mainly Supervisor Dianne Feinstein, worked to limit where theaters would open. But liberal mayor George Moscone would only agree to a four-month memoratorium on opening new strip clubs. This just emboldened the Mitchells. They opened the Copenhagen intimate room. This was a large room with a few men sitting in dark on pillows with mirrors behind their

backs. They would hold flashlights. What is happening? I mean... I know we're just getting in the deep end, but what are you saying? Come on. Slow down, MacGyver. This seems unnecessarily fucking complicated.

I need a fucking mirror now. And then there's two pulleys and two guys with sand. Now you can stick with me. Right. I'm trying to get complicated. Naked women would come out and have sex with each other only by the flashlights. Right. Afterward.

Like, they were ghost stories? Yeah. Ooh. I'm gonna tell you a ghost porno. A gorno. I got the best gornos. This one's insane. Y'all like spirit bangs?

Keisha. Wasn't she the one who fucked the ghost in the episode? Oh fuck, I don't remember. Who fucked the ghost in the episode? Smith had sex with a ghost. Keisha. Oh, Keisha also said Keisha. She fucked the ghost.

I thought when you said her name, I had no idea who you meant. She fucked the ghost. You didn't remember that? No, I know that she did. No, I know Keisha did. Keisha, I'm not familiar. I didn't know what her name was, because I don't listen to that kind of music. Well, I'll have you know that Keisha is actually very related to a tale like this, because

she... Hashtag Keisha. I'm with her. Team Keish. Team K. Honest to God. You're with me. Yeah, she has it.

We talked about this all the time. Exactly. We both get up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy. We fuckin' know it. She has a... That's a Keisha song. I understand that you're too cool to know that, but that is a Keisha song, so just on the way home, we realized...

She wakes up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy. I don't want to know you guys. So the women would come out of sex, they'd do the flashlights, afterward the women would crawl over to the men, do a handstand before resting their feet on the mirrored walls behind the men, putting their vagina just inches from the men's faces. Why the mirror? The Copenhagen rule. Why the mirror?

It's just an advantage. To prove that the girls were vampires. Thank you. Thank you. What? Thank you. Then they opened the New York live room, which was just a basic strip club with the sine stage, where one could watch porno flicks, but it was also the stage for big headliners

like Marilyn Chambers. The dancers were making $25 a dance or act, but the Mitchells were sex innovators and they had a new idea. They held a meeting and told the dancers they weren't going to be happy, but all the dancers were going to be paid minimum wage from now on and would get tips by going into the audience and sitting on men's laps. That's not going to work out. They were right.

The Mitchell brothers saved money and the dancers doubled their salaries, making around $400 a night. This revolutionized stripping. It was a... Just the tip. It was... But also, as men, just how terrible are we? The worst.

That's all it takes. Go and sit on their laps. I'll give you more money. We will. But what if they don't have money? They will have money and they will spend money they don't have. Really you think I'm 100% they don't care about anything else. They're here and men.

So it was a firing offense to fuck an audience member, so a new type of dancing evolved to get tips. While sitting on laps, the dancers found a way to stroke their customers' crotches with their butt cheeks, sometimes bringing them to orgasm. The lap dance was born right here in San Francisco. Congratulations. Congratulations. Men in November 1978...

These are innovations, but they are just continuing to find out how to touch guys' dicks further. And they're acting like, I think the more we touch their dicks, the more stupid decisions they're making. I'm reading about people who revolutionized dicks and vaginas. In November 1978, former supervisor Dan White walked into Mayor George Moscone's office and shot into death. He then walked to the office of Supervisor Harvey Milk, the nation's first outspoken gay politician, and killed him.

Feinstein was now mayor. Within months, the O'Farrell was being raided again. And the biggest police raid, they arrested 29 people, seven dancers, seven staffers, and 15 members of the audience. It's also found a 45-caliber submachine gun with a long illegal banana clip, two rifles, a sawed-off shotgun, and several other weapons, and a bag of weed and cocaine. But the warrant didn't cover guns or drugs, so... Shit.

It would have taken five more minutes. Oh, God. Is no one here seeing law and order? But also, like, isn't that a hilarious loophole, like when you're arresting someone for some other crime, if your warrant doesn't cover some other shit? Yeah. So you're lucky. Yeah, well, the warrant doesn't cover illegal dwarf fighting, so that's fine.

We didn't know what was going on in here. So the car theft is fine, all the stuff with dwarfs is okay, the cocaine is fine, the gun's okay, but the sex we know. Do you guys admit to doing this? Damn it. Airtight. I would have said no, too. They're good.

They know the law. They get law. The brothers responded by putting the mayor's office phone number on their marquee every day. When she would change it, they would update it. And the angry callers kept calling. But in June, 1980, the brothers held the press conference to announce they were shutting down.

The Mitchell brothers were then hit with prostitution charges. Near the end of that year, the club reopened. Kennedy had moved to New York, and his fees were enormous, so they hired Paul Halvonic, the head of Northern California's chapter of the ACLU. The San Francisco prosecutor was Bernard Walter, a former Buddhist monk who hated pornography. That matches up. Walter sent... Not a lot in the monastery.

Yeah. I mean, I guess there's some lonely time. The sound of one hand slapping. There's one monkey-head story. And the lily pad touched him. Oh. So hot. We are all the pig.

Walter... To be the water. Walter sent undercover officers to take pictures in the club with infrared cameras. You know what? He brought infrared cameras to... No, you don't want infrared cameras or those blue light cameras. Blue, blue. Well, those Gordon Ramsay hotel-held cameras, you don't want one of those.

That's your semen! Oh, man. Well, you're going to be surprised. We found a lot of ejaculate. Welcome to this season of Gordon Ramsay's former porno theater-hell. It's all semen! It's not a wall! Look at this.

It's not good semen. It's old. You want a better consistency. It should be like a risotto. So in court, Walter said the photos showed dancers rubbing crotches with their hands, but Judge Ira Brown did not agree. He didn't see it. Also, I'll need the address of this location again.

He ruled nothing illegal was going on and the club could stay open. So Walter sent more under... I reckon Ira Brown liked that club. Once you've done Ira Brown, you're not going down. So Walter sent more undercover police to the club to find anything they could. After 18 months... What? It's so obvious.

Hey, boss, can I do the theater shift again? Yeah, but how's the investigation going? I'm dehydrated. From what? What? I need 20s. More? Yeah, like 8,000.

Didn't I ask you to get out? Just getting in. No, I said leave. Some of these girls... I was clear. I bring four pairs of underwear. I think I'm dead. I bring four pairs of underwear for every shift.

Oh, gosh. But I'm getting a lot of information. What's our diaper budget? Yeah, you're right. You guys are... Oh, they're right. Diapers is a bit too far. So after 18 months, he charged the brothers with disobeying Judge Brown's order and being

contempt of court, and the Mitchell brothers were actually worried this time, and they made changes. They installed plexiglass in the booths of the ultra room, posted no tipping signs, stopped lap dances, and made the dancers wear clothing if they weren't on stage. Walter said, quote, in a very quiet way, the city has gained a major victory. The brothers were found guilty on the contempt charge and sentenced to six months in jail. They fought the judgment and took the case all the way to the state Supreme Court, who ruled Jim and Artie should have had a jury trial and the conviction was dropped.

Wow. Wow. Tipping and lap dances were back. But over their lives, Jim was arrested 190 times and Artie 186 times. Whoa. Hall of Fame. Those are top-notch numbers. In the criminal justice system, there are two separate, yet equally important, bobs.

So, Lauren Otis, and Francisco, it's just them every week. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. What do we got? Another guy dehydrated. Bum, bum. So, maybe the brothers were a little bitter. They couldn't let it go. They kept fucking with the city's establishment.

In 1983, Queen Elizabeth visited San Francisco. This is not a good start. Oh, God. This is... All right. If this involves tissues... Yeah. I...

I demand a lap dance. The brothers held the press conference the day before the queen was to arrive... Okay. No more going to their press conferences. That seems rational. So the queen was supposed to ride around the bay on a ship, and they said they were deploying the Irish Republican Navy. That was the name that they had given hundreds of seagulls that the brothers were going to

feed pounds of mackerel to, hoping one would shit on the queen. I mean, you can't fault their plan. Yeah, you can't. You gotta support them. I mean, that makes a lot of sense. My only note... My only note is laxatives, I think. More assuring.

The reporters... That is unbelievable. The reporters at the press conference were... You gotta dream big. The reporters at the press conference were in hysterics, and the next day, the queen wore a blue and white polka dot dress, and Jim and Artie declared victory. Wait. She wore a polka dot dress, so if she got shit on, it wouldn't show up.

She still sees shit. It's the weird-melting polka dot. I don't know if it's a victory lap time. I agree with the victory lap. Maryland Chambers... Smudge it in to look like a spot. Hurry. Maryland Chambers returned to the club to perform.

She had now married Chuck, uh, trainer. He had her live as a porn star 24-7 to, you know, help the business. For example, if the couple ordered room service, Chambers would have to answer the door naked and give a blowjob as a tip. What? It's just, that's what we do. That she was like, I do this all the time. It's a...

Uh... Yeah, I mean, I don't think that's right. We're on record. Yeah. Because when Gareth did that yesterday, that did not work at all, so... The guy didn't even bring ketchup back. I mean, it... You were there.

Well, I was there. That's why they have... The whole... Anyway. Thank you. Traveller. Traveller? Um, when she headlined the O'Farrell, it was a...

Headlined. It was a huge deal. I'll do 45. All new. The show was shocking, at her first performance, one of the dancers working with her left the stage before it was finished, crying, after she had shoved her arm up Chambers' ass almost reaching the elbow. Not Chambers' elbow.

And I... No. Thank God. That's the only... It's a small victory. It's literally the only thing that could have made that sentence worse. Jesus. I mean, it's just a stage show, guys.

Keeping it real, you know what I mean? Ugh. I mean, the show is called Feel the Magic. I mean, I guess she couldn't help but feel the magic. Although, technically, if it was magic, she would have pulled her rabbit out. It doesn't sound like magic. It sounds like shitty ventriloquism. What do you think, Marilyn?

Ow! We're like this all the time. Marilyn, you flew in today, are your arms tired? Ow! We're a regular odd couple, the two of us. She says, ow, I have setups. So the show began with Chambers dancing through the crowd in a rhinestone dress. Then she got naked on stage, laid on her back, shoved steel balls up her ass, and slowly

pulled them out. After that, two dancers went down on her until she orgasmed. Then the theater would go dark, and the crew would spray warm water from squirt guns onto the audience. The theater went dark before the lights were turned off, Dave. The show ended with Marilyn walking through the audience, letting the crowd finger bang her and someone eat her out. What is going on?

It's show business! That was originally how Ellen was going to start her talk show. True. We had a lot of people that don't know. We have two now. And they're big. They're big ones. Who goes to that?

Seriously. And who would be... Who would just like, ah, may I? Excuse me. It's an honor. An absolute honor. I enjoyed your movies. It is an absolute pleasure and honor.

Wow. Honey, I had the greatest pleasure of my life. I had the greatest pleasure of my life. I had the greatest pleasure of my life. It is an absolute pleasure and honor. Wow. Honey, I had the greatest night tonight. I'm star-stuck.

Do you mind if I touch my little hippo on it? Oh, I already did. Halfway into the week-long engagement, the police raided the theater. Chamber cops had been surveying and were said to be in a state of shock. Chambers for dancers and several audience members were handcuffed and booked. The local newspaper columnist, Warren Hinkel, was there and was disgusted by the reaction of the police. How dare you!

This is perfect! On what grounds are you weirded out? Oh, maybe. Well, if you're freaked out, then use a tissue. Oh, good lord. Didn't you know they erase sin? He, uh, Hinkel wrote about it. Two weeks later, he was arrested for walking his dog without a leash.

That's very, yeah. Yeah. The arrest of Hinkel led to horrible press for the cops. While Hinkel attacked them in columns, citizens called the police furious about Chambers arrest. The DA finally dropped the charges. The board of supervisors then stripped the police of their control over licensing of new strip clubs and voted to have them pay the Mitchell Brothers $14,000 in restitution

for damage that occurred during the Chambers raid. Wow. I mean. I mean. The police stopped surveying the club. Yeah. Well, it seems like it's time to move on. They never raided the theater again.

Once the brothers realized they were in the clear, they went back to breaking the law and started allowing customers to get handjobs, right? That's when you wash dishes, right? Right. Handjobs. Artie and Jim bought a yacht and started a commercial fishing business. Of course. That's the next logical step.

That's what we always wanted to do. That's what this is always about. Well, it's the next logical move for us. The end game is snapper. Shrimpers. They partied constantly with people, like I said, Hunter S. Thompson, Sammy Davis Jr. They got married to dancers. Oh, where did this?

So Artie was doing $1,000 of coke every day and sleeping with anyone, especially the dancers. He was known to have sex with the dancers before they performed right as they were about to walk on stage. I would imagine that would delay the, give it up for Rusty. Wait, Rusty? Is that a female stripper? Yeah. She's right.

Hey, everybody, it's me, Rusty. You know me, I'm always feeding a little oil. Now give mama a second to loosen up and then we're going to have a show. Keep that pull away from me. Rusty. Oh, sorry, babe. My hip ain't going to stop popping, so either you're in or you're out. Throw money in it.

Mama needs Medicare. Oh, sorry, I'm getting some epsom salt on you. That's, I didn't. You know how best pillows are. Now Rusty's time's almost done and I don't just mean stripping. I gotta go do my insulin test. All right. Oh, don't mind those band-aids.

Come on, striker, let's go. Just Rusty being Rust. Mama's going to take a cat nap. Artie's second marriage then fell apart and he started dating dancer Alisa Flores later known as Missy Manners. Missy was the daughter of a vice president at the University of Utah and a former aide to Senator Orrin Hatch. Okay, Mormoning.

She moved to the Bay Area for graduate school where she entered the Miss Newt America Contest. Take someone's out of Utah. She then entered an amateur dance contest at the theater and won. She met Artie that night. They started calling each other regularly. Their first date was full of long conversations and ended with them making love on his living room floor. Beautiful.

Magic. It's gorgeous. It's gorgeous. Yeah, it's gorgeous. Magic. Missy had thought she'd found her soulmate, but on their second date, Artie showed up a-wasted in a limo full of Rajneesh devotees. Oregon.

I don't think that's a red flag. Oregon? I don't think that's an issue, yeah. After Missy got in, Artie was mean to her, calling her slut in a swine and she started to cry. She grabbed her hair and slapped her. Aw. Well, second date.

I can't say I'm mad at him. It's the second. This is what you're doing. Charmed his way out of that one. She said she was going to leave and Artie said she didn't have the guts so she stayed. I mean, look, this is how relationships are built. They went to a restaurant and drank endless amounts and Missy then crawled under the long table and gave every man and woman in the party head.

You guys are so uptight. Have you never been to Benihana? Oh, God. Very similar. The two became inseparable after that. How could they not? How could they not? She did the drugs Artie did and fucked all the same people Artie did.

At this time, Artie was known as Party Artie or Party Hardie Artie. Better. Last one's better. She was in charge of the social part of the Mitchell Brothers business. The social party of the Artie party. Yeah. In 1985, the Mitchell Brothers made behind the green door the sequel in one 16 hour day. Oh, that poor girl.

Holy fuck. And I mean that literally. Can I leave through the green door? No. It was to be the first big budget porn that featured all the performers having safe sex and Missy was to be the star, but Missy didn't want to be filmed in any way that showed the penetration. That's bad for a porn.

The movie had lots of awkward protected sex with lots of rubber gloves and condoms and multiple sex scenes with an obese woman. Strangely, it was a huge failure. Hustler magazine called it the disappointment of the year. Well, that I mean from Hustler. We are now going to announce Hustler's disappointment of the year. Larry Flint isn't it this year. Then on the night it premiered at the O'Farrell Theater, Artie high on coke, walked in front

of the news crews and screamed repeatedly fucking me until he was pulled away by Jim. Ed Meese was Ronald Reagan's White House chief of staff who had created a commission looking to shut down pornography. When the movie failed, Artie pretty much gave up on contributing to the business. He would go start the day by drinking half a pint that was three quarters vodka, a quarter orange juice. He said, quote, if I go to work or not, I still end up making the same amount of money. So what the fuck?

That's what we keep saying. Jim tried to cut off Arnie's drug money and Artie responded by doing stuff like threatening to fire bomb the theater unless they paid him thousands of dollars and Jim had always ended up giving him the money. When Missy started to make a name for herself in the porn business, Artie acted out, not hiding that he was cheating on her. At one point he clawed her face and that was it. She was dumb with him.

She continued to see and speak to Arnie until he knocked her down during an argument. Jim got sick of the porn business and started an anti-war newspaper called News Wars with Warren Hinkel. Obviously. America was gearing up for the first Iraq war and Jim was inspired by the movement against it, but Jim was doing it without Artie. Artie started carrying a nine millimeter in a fanny pack. You can't do one without the other.

That is at the same time so intimidating and not intimidating at all. I've got a gun in my fanny pack. What'd you say, motherfucker? Hang on there, my keys. Sorry, that's my banana. Sorry, that's my tissues. All right. Hold on.

It's in here somewhere. It's in this building. It's built for change. Why do I have doggy bags? Oh God, I don't even have a dog. I think I brought the wrong pack. He pulled the gun out and waved it around when he got really wasted, which is sad. Why not party with that guy?

He kept saying he'd enter rehab, but he never did. On February 27th of 1991, Jim said he was done and he was going to divorce Artie, cutting him out of the business. He had a lawyer call up Artie and tell him if he didn't shape up, the brothers would be going their separate ways. He was just trying to push Artie to sober up. Artie called, Artie responded by calling the theater and threatening to blow Jim's girlfriend's brains out.

So that's... Fine. Yeah. I mean, that's a sign that you should go to rehab. Yeah, I don't know. Not necessarily. He called a few hours later to apologize, but she wouldn't accept his apology. Typical.

That afternoon, Artie's ex-wife pulled a gun on his girlfriend. That's totally happenstance. I might have to go pee. I'm not kidding. I know. We're almost done. We're almost done. He then got...

Let me go. He then... No. He then got into an argument with his mother. After that, Artie called Jim's house and left a message that ended with, quote, I'm going to kill you first, motherfucker. Jim came home that night and heard the message. He told his girlfriend he was going to take care of Artie and call their friend to meet

him. He left, grabbing his son's 22 gauge rifle before heading out. Artie was naked in bed with his girlfriend, Julie, when they heard the door open and a gun being fired. Artie put on his pants, yelled, who's there, and then ran out into the hallway holding a beer bottle. Oh, my God. If I hear a gunshot and someone come out of my house, I'm fucking coming at you with a

beer bottle. Smart. There were more gunshots in his scream. Julie found Artie dead. He had been shot three times. Jesus. A police officer was driving close by and saw Jim walking down the street with a stiff right leg.

The cop yelled to Jim and Jim started walking faster, ignoring him. I'm fine. The cop then chased and found Jim hiding behind a car, pulling the rifle out of his pants. He was charged with murder. He hired Kennedy again. Kennedy's defense was that Jim went to Artie's house to scare him. If he wanted Artie to die, he wouldn't have done anything as Artie was bound to kill himself. Worst lawyer ever.

The jury rejected the murder charge, but found Jim guilty of voluntary manslaughter. He was sentenced to six years, but only served three. After he got out, he started the Artie Fund, which collected money for a local rehab facility. The Artie Party, Artie Fund. Jim died in 2007 of a heart attack. He was buried next to his brother in Antioch. One of Jim's sons, James Mitchell, was arrested in 2008 after he killed the mother of his child with a baseball bat on his daughter's first birthday party.

Thanks for the ending, Dave. Yeah, he got 35 years for that, because it was a party. An Artie Hardy party, Marty. An Artie Hardy party. You shouldn't kill. You shouldn't kill. No, we're against that on this podcast. We've been very vocal.

We have said this for a while, but you shouldn't kill people with a bat at a kid's birthday party. Don't do it. Well, yeah. Thank you. Thank you for coming. Oh, someone's got a pee. Wait, we'll sign and take pictures and stuff like that right out there in a little bit.

In a little while. I will have to piss my pants. You guys wrap it up better than that. That's the worst ending I've ever seen to a show. He planned that at the start. This was all a long con. Thank you. Thank you, America.

This has been The Dollar.