The Dumb Zone FREE - DZ 9-14-26 | Poor opening performance for Cowboys and Christian Parker's defense

Episode Date: September 14, 2026

Get every episode of The Dumb Zone by subscribing to the show at DumbZone.com or Patreon.com/TheDumbZoneWelp... Super Bowl parade plans have now been delayed after the Cowboys get punched in the mouth by Dart, Skattebo, and the rest of Harbaugh's Giants on Sunday Night Football. The Dallas defense looked a lot like the 2025 version of itself although CP had been anointed at training camp. Some things never change? Or is it week 1? Let's overreact together (00:00) - Open: Weekend check (01:14:58) - Sports: Cowboys lose season opener to Giants (01:48:38) - Postgame audio: Schotty, BSF, Locke (02:13:35) - News: Man shot walking his dog (02:25:14) - VM Birthdays/Today in History ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Hello, I'm professional broadcaster Dan McDowell, letting you know that you were about to hear one of our free podcast. But if you'd like to subscribe at dumzone.com, you'll get four shows per week plus the weekend wrap-up and any bonus sods like our Business Wednesday interviews. So if you forgot how to use the 15-second rewind, that's dumbzone.com to subscribe. Now, on to today's program.

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Hello friends, it's the Dumbzone. I'm Dan McDowell. I'm Jake too. I'm Blake Jones. Boodie K. It's Monday. Happy Monday. If you can even say that on this day when we're wondering, what about all these plans we made, the parade routes. Is it victory Monday?

It is not, well, not here. It is in half of the NFL cities. Am I right? Actually, less than half because the two New York. teams won. Stuff of cities. But it's not, it would be less than half the cities to play.

Both L.A. teams lost. Cancel out. Excellent. Very good, Blake. Anyway, we are high atop my garage day, not in the Game Day Men's Hell Studio. But Game Day lives on

at gameday.com. Had a guy in here last night who said he had hit the studio up, had hit Game Day up Friday to get him ready for the big weekend. Is that the guy that was bench pressing your car? Yeah.

I believe so. He did look like he'd been to the game day. And it was kind of like elevated, you know, it was up like 40 degrees or something, so it's harder than that. Different angle, yeah. Incline, yeah. Anyway, yeah. So we had a... That was the words with Dan, by the way.

The angle, incline? It was like up 40. You know, I don't know what you call it. What do you two got going on over there? I just work out. Why can't you just power through? It's not about powering through. Powering through is what you tell Sean Bass when he throws a wrench into things.

I want to know what's on the bike. You were throwing a wrench into things. No, what's the guess. Any slight distraction, why can't you just move forward? I just want to know what happened. Because Dan's computer's plugged in, and there's a slight buzz. Oh, okay. And it's fine.

We're good. I was just confirming. Oh, unplugged. The main reason is because I like to know. Kids these days. Whenever I was a kid, I would like to take the temperature of what kind of day my parents had, so I knew how to talk to him.

And if you guys have something going on that's like, I don't want to, I really don't want to direct anything your way at all while you're upset. So if Blake's coming in Monday's hairy, he was in New York overnight. Oh, buddy, I had a great weekend. I'm like, do I just need to, well, I guess that's true. You're back, as you once said. Yeah.

Yeah, this is not hurting this schedule. Yeah, he could go no sleep. Anyway, we don't have just us here. We have intern Henry. He's back here wondering what's up. He was actually at a very big help last night. Oh, yeah? In total, I would say, in aggregate, right?

That's all that matters. Zoom out. I don't know if that is all that matters. I would like the edges to be smoothed out a little bit. Week one. That's a recurring theme. Yeah. Let's just reevaluate at week four.

Thank you. Because if we... But anyway, no, he was great. It's so much fun. It enjoyed pilf cater. It was a lot of fun. It looks great on YouTube. It's...

I love it. I love it. It's very hard to come down from afterward. Yeah. It helps if the game kind of falls down on its own. A little fourth quarter methadone. Yeah, but still fun. Fun to have fresh hot pizza.

is made in your driveway, which you can get as well at pilfgroup.com. Recommend. Oh, yeah. They're unbelievable. We have other people here, though. Now, we have Lauren, who has decided to give up the mic. Although she's got a mic back there if she really needs it. She might have to reach over Henry, and then Henry's not going to help her, like, get the mic.

She doesn't seem interested. She's a nurse, we understand, but of some level of goodness or, right? It's a spectrum, they say. Yeah. Some would land on the naughty. Anyway, but she brought her brother, who you thought was her husband. Do you guys get that a lot? This is Evan.

Evan. Evan. From the couch, the casting couch. What's your bit? Don't have much of one. No? Just some guy? Birthday or something?

Yeah, I got a birthday coming out. And this is for your... I'm pretty fired up about it. That's what she says. This is a birthday gift. This is a birthday gift. From your sister. That's pretty cool.

Yeah. Not to do closing remarks now, but you guys like hang out and stuff. It's like your friend. That's nice. I feel like you don't see a whole lot of that. I mean. The brother and sister? I don't know.

Sometimes don't you see it's a little too close. You're like, oh. No, your brain is warped. Those people are stepbrothers. We're fine. Oh, okay. Yeah. My brain isn't warped.

Four or five step brothers. It's just media. It's not my fault. But he brought, Evan brought this, which is kickass, and I can't wait to use it and decide, do we use it at our new studio? Do we just use it here? But it is a little sign.

Let me turn it on and direct it toward the camera. Oh, my goodness. It is a dumb zone on air light, lighted sign. That's cool. Which can you indicate that it's lit? Yeah, okay. Probably in a dark room. It'll look a little better.

I mean, anywhere besides like a fully, fully lit. That's great. I bet Fox 4 will let us cook with that. Is this giving you just like anime? No. I think you probably have to speed it. What was the thing yesterday?

Blake and I live in a different world. During the stream of, oh, it was Cam Scataboo. That's how we could stop him, right? Just turn the lights on and off real fast. He spazes out. Because he's all... Better than the other plans ahead. Concussion.

Oh, that's right. I just love that he's a member of Degeneration X fully. Like he just dresses like Road Dog and Xbox. He's hitting the socket. He's fun. Doing a backflip. Fully. Scores a touchdown.

You just came off like an injured ankle. I don't. I hope you fully understand how unique he is. Like, obviously, culturally, there are different types of whites. But the fact that we have like an attitude era wrestler, who's good, like all the other good whites are like TikTok whites. They're like, uh, speed. You know what I mean?

They like look like they play basketball. We don't have many like just straight whiskey tango. Like he looks like he looks like he's in the crowd at a WWE event. Like that's just not something that culturally has had a lot of, there's those sitcoms about those people, you know? Not a lot of reality shows about them. Their crowd freaking loves him. How could they not?

Think of, you know, the history of the Giants. 90% of jerseys in that stadium were Dart and Scatibo. Yeah, and I bet they have to bite down hard on Dart a little bit. But having to usher in with Harbaugh, yeah, they get to be blue-collar again. They had that one play lined up. We were looking at it when they had the full back in, too. And we were like, this is like a 1950s color video. It was as white as you've ever seen a team.

I did not see a black player anywhere. I guess, you know, maybe they had a wide receiver flanking outward that was not in the screen. I'm sure, well, I was going to do some football hypothesizing live here. And I don't know that these are the things I want to try to figure out with Codex, with AI. As personnel's and personnel grouping shift, do the racial combinations of players on the field drastically change? First thought, we're obviously going back. You look at the NFL yesterday to two and three tight ends everywhere, 12 and 13, a lot of 22, two running backs and two tight ends. That second running back, a lot of times he's white.

So as we shift, but then my next thought was when you're running 11, which is a running back, three wide receivers and a tight end, a lot of times that slot guy, that's where white guys in the past era found a lot of their purchase and playing time. but stuff like that is interesting to me I mean you can tell a lot about where the league is going by the types of bodies that are out there that's like this sort of thing that like I told you there was that book the sports gene

that was basically like what if we did Jimmy the Greek but science well I mean there is yeah Jimmy the Greek's basis for what he was saying it's like genetics are different based on where your lineage comes from

when you do it in that Jimmy the Greek tone and the blacks and soon they're going to want to play everything treating people poorly you know yeah but no i mean the NFL looks it it's incredible how different it can look in 10 years and i love it i was like randy in the trailer yesterday and this morning just covered um anyway we should do a weekend check this could be brought to us by plum quick Have they been out to your house? They have been out to my house.

That's a recurring theme, but that's because I trust these people. And Robert over at PlumQuick is the man. We had a pretty small issue, but having them out there to take care of that small issue, I got signed up for the home membership, which is what I recommend you do as well. You can go to Plumquick Company.com and ask about that home membership. You'll get the inspection, the water heater flush, drain cleaning. Look, a bunch of mumbo-jumbo, it's going to be. be to where the next time something happens with your house, they catch it before it turns into

a giant problem where there's poop flooding through your house or even just water. It doesn't even have to be someone else's waste. They'll catch it beforehand. Don't try to just fix this on your own. My wife brought up, you know the other thing that other day, my wife was like, we should get some Drano. And I'm 99% sure that that's complete horseshit. Yeah, I've done that in the past. have busted this. I don't think it's ever worked for us. Yeah, I'm like...

We've dumped the whole thing in it. Just leave it alone. Just call 469-331-3669. That's the Dumbzone hotline. And if you're signed up for the home membership, you'll get priority scheduling at plumquick company.com. Plum quick, get a home membership. Keep your private's nice and safe and clear.

I'll flush away. A lifetime of fear. The plum quit. Don't let poop fill up your house. All right, weekend check. Football-wise, you know, I'm in 100 pools and fantasy and everything, Jake abhors. You ever say that word or just read it? But Jake abhors.

He used to write it a lot. Yeah, it's very only in journalism, I think. You've never sitting around the bar going, man, I abhor that action. Is that we're horrible? comes to them? It's probably in there somewhere. I think I've said it was abhorrent. But I am.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But anyway, all that stuff, Jake's like, can't you just love football? And the answer is no. I need a reason to watch Vegas versus Miami. And, of course, A. Chan didn't score. Dang. That means I'm in KT's.

I don't want to hear about it. I don't want to hear about it. It's like a four-part league, but I'm on to kickers, I've been told. You have strike one. Yeah, I'm in the three-strike league. I'm in a lot of the knockout leagues, including the Dumb Zone Knockout League. And I'm in like another major one that costs $200 for one entry. If you get your money in on time, if you get it late, it's $250 for the entry.

So, and then I'm in another couple of pools like Grimm got me in. one where it's called Splash Sports. I think a lot of people do this one. But it's on a website so you can just set up your league any way you want. And it's 20 bucks per entry, but I bought like 10 entries. And so I was like, well, with 10 entries, I shouldn't put all the same teams. So I put like five different teams. And then for the last five, I'm like, well, let's just put the one I know is going to win.

And that's the one I'll use in the big $200 one. That's the one I'll use in the Dumb Zone one. That's the one. The Chargers. Chargers. The biggest spread of the weekend, the one where the underdog is on the road, it's at your stadium. You got the newest, hottest. He's back doing what he's good at.

It's out of division. He was not a great, he's great if he's not the head coach. If he's just focusing on offense, my guy, even what he did as a head coach when he first started working with Tua, they were going nuts. And now you got McConkey over here, and you got one of the, Herbert, the darling of, you know, guys who haven't really won anything, but the people love Herbert. I love Herbert. I mean, when the Cowboys played Herbert,

I guess when the Cowboys played everybody last year, I thought they were a great quarterback. But I'm like, this guy is Josh Allen without a good enough team around him. This feels like a distance. The Chargers! A very distant possibility. And it wasn't like a last set.

Oh, the 68-yard field goal, what are you going to do? They just got blown out. This is my triple. there was eliminated one third of the pool players in a circus survivor like the biggest pool in the world in Vegas that reality Steve does I wonder how it did on ours do you know I have to hook up but no I this seems like a distant possibility after

Christian Parker's debut but I'd love to be in a position where I underrated how much it would matter to lose my defensive coordinator because another team made him their head coach because Jesse Mentor was obviously good enough that Baltimore wanted to make him their head coach, and it's the freaking Raven. So obviously they were looking at what the charges were doing. They were like, this guy's a pretty big part of this. I don't even know who they replaced him with.

I didn't watch that game. I like to go back and watch all the shows through the week, but I don't know what happened there. I have no idea. Anyway. Yeah. I had the Cowboys in our Knockout League, so I'm out there, and I had a triple on the Chargers. Cowboys in the Knockout League?

Yeah. Who'd you take? You're in the Knockout League, right? Lions, I think, which gave me a scare. Ruin my triple. Oh, yeah, I'm out of your Knockout League, too. Right? Didn't I go Chargers? Yeah.

What have we just... Well, I get to... Now I'm going to do what you said. I don't have anything to root for anymore. I'm just going to watch football. I mean, listen It looks to week two. Listen, there's a lot to love.

Well, maybe some buyback in. T.C. This is the problem. And I'm just putting it out there because, you know, we don't have a stream every week, but we did have one yesterday. Already just some dissent in the ranks on Team IJB.

Already? Yeah. Just right out of the gate. For your picks? I walked in today, I was like, anything happened in the last 20 minutes or so since I hadn't been here? He's like, your triple-law.

lost. That's not the only thing. He's like, well, it was the biggest thing. It ends up being a thing you think about a lot during the... I don't think I would have thought about it at all if we had not come up with this very smart plan of teams. And hand of God lucked into pairing me with T.C. And then the last, just knife in my wounds... Honestly, this for me and T.C. is like a couple that's been married a really long time.

and it used to be rough, and they worked on it, and they got to a good place, and then when they're like 43, they have another baby, and you're like, fuck. This is you two? Yes. Let's restart. We don't need this tension.

Now these are two different people. Very big. Then head before. So, in your leagues, Blake, where did Colston Loveland get drafted as far as tight ends? Because everything I was hearing is like, he's the third best tight end. That checks.

Yeah, I grabbed him somewhat early in a couple. Just, okay, go ahead. Me too. Because, you know, it's fucking Ben Johnson. Lost DJ Moore. It's, yeah, he's going to have a huge year. So the Bears go out, they score 50, I got Colston Loveland. They scored 59 points.

Yeah. And Colson Loveland didn't get one catch for like one yard. He got nothing. Mm. He got zero for zero for zero for zero. Hmm. You might have to ignore that unless he's right there. You're putting him down?

You can bring him up, yeah. Why? You got to carry him. I just, he might bite him. Anyway, the dog's back to having his bad leg. I don't know if I told you about that last week. He didn't really. Henry, please bite him.

His back leg, he just... Okay, yeah, because then you're asking about my dog, you're right. crumples on him. So last night, after the game, I had to go outside and just hold his little body up so he can go to the pad. Can I turn this candle around or are you looking at it? I'm looking at it. Why? I just don't need vagina.

You don't like vagina? I just want to read it. What do you white pants? I can't look at anyone else. I just mothers. I just don't want to stare at the word vagina all show. I feel you. And then my other big thing.

We can write huge cock on there for you. So you'll be more comfortable. I'm ready to go. One more thing. So we have the great experiment is at the midpoint. And the great experiment was, if you remember, I eat one serving of Quaker Oats oatmeal every morning. When did you get this? It was Juneteenth, I believe.

It was the first day I started eating because I've never been to Costco before. We went to Costco. So I bought this enormous. giant box of Quaker Oats. Five pounds, I think. It was only like seven bucks. It was insanely low price. I got to go look back.

But it was 10-pound box. And I finally got through it. Juneteenth to this week past weekend. So September 13th or whatever. So now what I need to do for the last half of the experiment is go the same amount of days. But buying the individual. you know, the normal size Quaker Oates, which is like five bucks,

and then we're going to see how much money I can save by going to Costco and buying a 10-pound thing of Quaker Oats. We're doing this in real time, folks. We can't use math. Okay. Yeah, it's tough. I don't know what to say. I got to do it in real time.

It does it for you on the thing. Of course it does. It what? Even if it didn't do it for you, you could simply divide it. Sure. What? He's just saying that he should,

shops by looking at the... He shops by looking at the cost per unit thing, which whenever I was 14 or 15 and given license to become my family's grocery store shopper, they would let me drive to the grocery store. That was a key part of the lesson. And you were the shopper? Yeah, we lived pretty close. I ended up working at that grocery store.

So yeah, it was a four-minute drive, but I loved it. Yeah. Yucca. You can't score? Yucca, excellent ranking, of course. Oats, good. They can't give you oats that won't give you cancer, then we've got something wrong.

It's got the no additives. Weekend check. Clayton. Quick fast foodie. We're not doing enough with waffle bowls in the ice cream space. We've got the cone, but I feel like a Sunday would be better if it was in like a bowl that was made out of waffle.

Won't it sog out the cone? It doesn't in the cone? Like if you got a waffle cone, it doesn't sog out that. Yeah, because that's the point of the cone, right? Is that it's limiting the amount of the liquid that gets to the bottom point. If you have the bowl, the heaviest part, I feel like we'll lay on the bottom of the bowl. You make a thicker waffle. I've already thought of this.

You have to be much. But that's the problem is you don't want too much waffle. I can't have enough waffle cone. What you might have to do is you might have to treat it like a swimming pool. And you might have to chocolate the inside of the bowl. Ooh, like a dip, dip the waffle. Correct. You might have to put some level of, like, you know, load bearing.

But they do that all, they put cones, they dip cones all the time. They dip cones. They dip them folks. So you, that could work. I could see that. Like make a little helmet. Yeah. I went to Chick-fil-A this morning, and they're leaning into, like, doing waffles at you, Dan.

Yeah, they're- No, I haven't. But usually they're, like, the kids love, I had the situation this morning, not to hijack your check, but there's a certain time where if the kids get up, it's about 5.5.30, and they normally get up at 6.30, 6.45. If that happens, we're getting in the car. We're going for a drive. We're going to let mom sleep. We're not just going to try to kill an hour and a half, the both of them. pre-dawn.

What are we doing? Well, this morning we went to Chick-fil-A. They opened at 6.30. So we drove around, kind of back-tided, and we were there at 6-25. Yeah, Chick-fil-A is waffle forward as opposed to the biscuit as part of this LTO. I'm sorry. Did you go inside? No.

No. I would just love Carter playing in the play place at 6.30 in the morning. Just running rough shot. That waffle sandwich is delightful. How does it not just make you feel like a bowling ball afterward? It's not that big. It's like the McGrittle, Dan, I think. It's less greasy than the McGrittle.

Really? It's better. Yeah. Well, they're going waffle, Clayton. No, it's great. But you're talking Cone Bull. I'm talking Cone, though. And then, I mean, the biggest thing from the weekend,

Oklahoma State, number 28 ranked in the NIL rankings, took on number five ranked in the NIL rankings, Oregon. and that just kind of goes to my we didn't buy a team statement we spent half the amount of money on our football team then Oregon and they buy like North Texas the whole UNT yeah we didn't buy the whole U&T we it didn't cost very much yeah I think there are some good points you can make but I think this one is not you should leave the we did because then you just will and it'll be like oh now we

are well and when we do just be happy you beat a good team that you weren't supposed to beat because that game was awesome. And I want to root for Oklahoma State. I like the fact that they have a horny 26-year-old Indian GM. Our coach... That speaks to me.

Our coach got red-assed at the players. I love that. He got too much shit on. Yeah. I don't like coaches that look like Batman out there, man. Cut it back. He's not wearing... Five highlighters in his...

Morris had... Whatever his name is. He's got... Like, remember Jason Gere when he was no utility bill? Come on, dude. He's got a little... We got Starlink over there. He's got a little mad short guy in him.

He definitely does. But that was a great game. Not rocking the visor. Gundy was a big visor guy. I was surprised that their crowd was... I mean, all I was seeing was just like, oh, God, what a mistake. They showed up. Oregon was, like, shook by Stillwater.

Yeah. It was awesome. You can't... Like, I texted... Jake was texting me at big plays, and I just... just like you can't prepare for paddles. Like what are you going to do? Get 50 to 60 of your students out there banging paddles.

They played at Penn State last year. They played in better environments than still water. Can't care. Can't play for battles. A lot of pre-snap penalties and big moments for Oregon. I guess Dante Moore was shook by Eskimo Joe's. Whoa. I do think.

Just because they're on the sideline for two quarters of the game. No, I think college, and I don't know that there's probably you could find a way to quantify this. and I should do it before running my mouth. It feels like it's way more unpredictable. The transfer, the balance of power shifting as quickly as it does from team to team and conference to conference. But these schedule matchups were made like fucking 15 years ago or something.

It just feels like it's going to produce way more. Like, I mean, how many of those? Used to you would have a kid who had played at Oregon for four years. And I'm not trying to be, oh man, I'm just saying he'd been on the road as a freshman and didn't play, but they traveled them and he learned how to go to the hotel and eat and do his whatever. Then he played a little bit as a sophomore in sub packages. And then by the time he was junior, he'd seen all this.

On the VY doc, just seeing young Colt McCoy in the background. It's a thing. That's why Arch is so unstoppable now is all the time he spent sitting. But I had another. But my point is just I'm not surprised if kids go into an environment. They're freaked out now, even if they play for a top. five team. Another observation, this kind of goes back to the World Cup and we were like trying to figure out, you know, we don't have football fans. The college football fan is the Euro. Of course.

Soccer football fan. I mean, we're going crazy before the, like, they don't have a tailgate scene like we do, obviously, but, you know. Yes, the reason for this is because geographically, the United States split into conferences are like small countries. And so they work like that within And then you think of the United States more like Europe as a continent. So we have like intercontinental type matchups. It's just geography. The one difference being over there, you can get a whole bunch of different dialects much closer together. But in any case, yeah, I think that's like how Japanese baseball is.

That's what they say is that this is the sport that they treat like that. And is that why it feels like the... losing the plot when USC joins the Big Ten and all that? Yeah, I mean, you think about like when... Or is it obviously... Yeah, no, I don't like that... Communication is... The Big 12.

You're able... Your world is bigger. I go back and forth because... Definitely... Monster energy... They're making more money by putting Monster Energy on the field. And everything they're doing, other than paying the players. Like, it's generating more revenue now.

But I also feel like it's generating more... exciting sports and in like cool shit. And so it's hard for me to be mad at. Like I love the playoff. Like thinking yesterday about Cam Scataboo in the playoff against Texas. I'm like, I'm glad that happened. That doesn't happen five years ago. So some of this, a lot of stuff they're doing to make more money also seems cool.

But I don't love busting up the, the rivalries. And for example, whatever the other Kushner is, the one that just bought the Lakers, the thing he was trying to do before was by a part of FIFA and their version of college football fans, the European soccer fans, rallied, rejected it. Got everybody involved, sacked. So, yeah, I mean, there's obviously something to be worried about when you max the profit on your sport.

That was another topic this weekend, right? Ted Cruz being on game day. We'll get to that this week Three great games I mean you don't get that You're not playing Schools aren't playing Crap teams start the season anymore

I'll play a couple But I think a few minutes ago We had a words with Blake When you said he's a mad short guy Isn't that little man syndrome Yeah Is that what you meant

Yes See I thought you were just saying that every short guy is mad Right So why double up? Blake's got a little Eric Morrison. Blake likes when somebody's shorter than him. Dan, this morning, I was on the phone with Kyler from Atlas Foundation Company because they've been doing some work at my house. Okay.

He's not there just to maximize profits. He doesn't even have sales guys. No sales guys. But get him out there, just kind of, he'll give you an estimate for what you got going on. and he'll even maybe a follow-up if you get another quote that you are like, whoa, really? I'm not going to build you a watch to tell you the time, but when he got under my house,

he thought it was one thing. That allowed actually, he found stuff that allowed another company to come fix that. Ended up, it was not what he thought whenever he first got underneath there when his crew came out, but they fixed it. They charged us the same amount they originally quoted for, you know,

thinking it was a different problem. It was super easy. They were done in a day. I had a great experience with him. So there are a foundation company now, and I have a feeling they'll be back. Barton is buying the home in that area. But if you're going to be dealing with that, you want somebody you can trust. And I trust these dudes.

They've been doing this since 1958. Kylo's a very old man. So call him at 8176729950 atlasfoundation inc.com. Let's see here. I had a great time Friday wherever we were. The firefighters on 9-11. That's right. I forgot.

Wow, that's right. That does seem like a while ago. And that night, I told you guys I'd signed up to do a couple of quick, I guess, like eight-minute sets in Fort Worth at Big Laugh downtown, so I did that. Interesting. They have like three rooms there. You said that was different than the open-mic nights. Definitely different.

This is more real? It's more, yeah, I've definitely been at open mics where there were more people, but this is scheduled. So you know what time you're going up. You know how long you have. I mean, I guess you know how long you have in an open mic, but they can get loosey with it if there's no one there. This is a schedule.

And you don't have to sign up that night. You can let the guy know on Tuesday, like, hey, I can do shows tonight. Did you do so well that, like, the fans demanded that let this guy go on longer? No. Do not turn that light off? No. No, not at all. But I was able to get up twice in half an hour, and that's fun.

It's a challenge. So in the same building, different rooms? And the first room, there was five people. And the second there was probably 20. It was much bigger. Did it help, like a Saturday Night Live dress rehearsal or something? Yeah. Your second one was better?

But the same guy, he's a fairly... well-traveled, like, local comedian, but he was before me both times. I've been to shows where he was before. What does that mean? I've just, I've seen this guy before, but I didn't, so I saw his first set upstairs, and then I went down, and his second set, he did a joke that is very similar to one of mine as, like, his clothes. Oh, no.

Fuck. Had he heard that? I don't think so. I don't think so. I didn't trust me, I immediately in my head was like, I haven't put that up anywhere, have I? done that a couple times but it's everyone has an ivf joke um but mine is just very real because as you can see on my arms i got scratches all my my son is like really leveling up like he's it's hard for me to contain him and 48 straight hours with him over the weekend i'm gonna look like

i used to look when i was just drunk all the time but so that's like the you've heard some of the joke right It's like my son, he bull bullies me, whatever. This guy has just had a son. And he had a joke that was like really similar. And I'm like, fuck. There's not any time in between this at all the way that I, I even moved it in my head. But it doesn't matter. The point is it was fun as hell to get to do it.

And then it's like, hey, I've been up twice this weekend. Stress free. I've done it, right? And then. Get it out of the way. Yeah. And then you're like, all right, now I can, like, write more or whatever, think about it. Then we had soccer on Saturday.

I love it way too much. I can't wait for Blake to have games where he's coaching. Keep telling me where they are because I didn't get out there Saturday. We mostly play at the Good Park. Nine times out of ten, we're playing at the Good Park. It was about a million degrees by 10 a.m. though. I don't want to get... Because I woke up early.

I'm not here to draw the ire of the league. I think that as a fake student of policy, I understand that in any... description, there's going to be unintended consequences, gaps in the system. But we have the heat thing set up to where if it's a certain temperature, they can go for 11 minutes and then they need a break. Okay? So at practice, every 11 minutes we stop for water.

I don't give a shit if they get water every time we go through a drill if I could control it. And some of them I can. Like, yeah, when you're done, just come back. Some of them will just stay. but my point is it's 11 minutes and I stick to that because why not but the same thing applies to the game and it's 10 minute quarters we don't sub in the quarter 10 minutes of game time is not the same as 10 minutes of practice time so if it's a certain temperature at 6 p.m. we can't practice but if it's a game where it's 11.30 in the afternoon or whatever it was they'll run for 10 straight

minutes. We can't sub. There's no timeouts. And I'm like, yo, these 10 minutes are not the same 10 minutes. And by five minutes, if you think the quality of play is poor out of the gate, it's fucking triage, dude. So they're not willing to have logical talks before the game? Two coaches can't agree on something? Well, had I known ahead of time, like, what, known that it was going to be hot? I didn't think about it. But I've faced this issue before and been told no. But then you learned that nothing is a no. Everything is at home. Hawk or whatever the word for that is. We're going as we go here.

And so I did it half time. I went over to their bench and to the ref, and I said, hey, at some point, when we got to watch all these tutorials about keeping these kids safe, if three of them come over mid-half and say, or mid-court and say, can I get out of the game? I'm going to take them out of the game. If one of them comes over, dude. Do you want to go to the mat saying they actually, No, we couldn't subber out.

Well, that's what we did. It's just... Had to keep the six-year-old in this game. It's just weird to me that it's even set up in a way where you're not... It's weird. Because they are dying. I figure. They're hiding under the little bench we got them.

I was dying when I walked out to the front of each other. People are laying down. They did not want the smoke come late third. But... Ridiculous. I mean, I was drenched. Yeah I think that was

Oh and then yesterday I went and did something interesting with our friends from the bum zone Our friend Brent Crable Has some friends that he's done Stand up Improv Short film type stuff with I think Bob and Dan maybe Donovan Soroy

Have appeared in their films before Like playing sports guys guys or something, I think. I've never done this before. But one of the guys who was on that, like, wrote a movie and asked me to go, like, be in a one-page scene. What was it? What was what? What was your scene?

What did you do? It's like a, he's like a laundromat owner, bookie. That's who you were? In a small Texas or New Mexico town. Did you put on your Chinese accent? No. Oh, I did not do Hoyer. That would have been way funnier.

But yeah, it was cool. I've never done, I've done, you know, small things like that, I guess, but nothing. Did you make scale? No, it wasn't, uh, no, I didn't make scale. Nobody jacked off in front of me holding a shrimp cocktail. Oh. Wasn't the full. You didn't get the good experience.

Brett Ratner was a director. He actually recently directed the Melania documentary. And I think Teen Wolf or some other. Dan, what are you doing? Again, this fucking guy. I am in this conversation listening. You are not. That's why I'm saying something.

I just responded to you. I'm consulting with the consortium. Will you pull your thing up so we can, you and I can do the show? What is wrong with this person? I was looking at him. We're on audio. This is an audio medium in general. And so I'm asking if you can.

You just ask a question. question like two seconds ago we thought you were talking to evan about brett radner we all we all know the wife uh yeah so what happened like i was just i'm trying to see if you're okay keep going about your great weekend that was it i did not make scale i was making sure you're okay you've been very distracted what is we're dealing with the consortium mean i'm we have a show i know i don't look at i'm not texting anyone we have You know, a lot. That's...

And if you were, you know what I would do? What are you doing? Keep doing the show. All right. Here's Blake. Okay. And I will continue to talk, even though I know neither of you listened to me. I've got to shoot your wheels off.

You're the one guy I do listen to it. So we did this show, 9-11 with the firefighters. Never forget. That was fun. Had an Argyll game that night. Game at the new stadium against Somerset Academy out of Las Vegas. Argyll has hosted two teams out of state at our new stadium. Is it common to do a bunch of these pre-district now?

Used to be just one maybe. Yeah, I think it's just because during redistrict, Argyll lost a lot of their non-district games to district opponents. So they had a few scheduled and made game districts, so they just had a clean slate and they just had to grab whoever they could. They're not traveling at all? No. No, and the out-of-state teams would like to travel to Texas.

they'd like to play in a nice venue, and for the first time in its history, Argyll has a nice venue. And so not sure if you know my bit, I'll interview the other team's coach every week for the pregame show and podcast. The Eagles Nest? The Somerset coach,

I thought this was cool, you can call me gay. They stayed an extra day or longer on Saturday because they were going to volunteer at the DFW National Cemetery to clean up after the 9-11 ceremony on Saturday morning. Just a shout out. I thought that was awesome.

I thought that deserved some recognition. So then Saturday. Did he took it easy on him? No, we beat him 70 to 21. No, I mean, you, like, during the game, you're like, but he's definitely building something here with these boys. Yeah, of course. I think he's nice guy.

You're not calling him scum. No, no, I think he's awesome. Jake, are you aware of the four-star player on the Argyll at receiver? Remind me. So his name is Julian Caldwell. every school in the country wanted him i saw dan laining at argyle i saw joey mcguire did he started argyle he's playing is his senior did he start his career at argo okay yes um started going there in middle school uh so it's just been cool to see all the colleges there and all the scouts in the press box

he missed the first two games because of a hammy and uh on his first grab on friday 74 yard touchdown on a second catch 49 yard touchdown on a second catch 49 yard touchdown on a This third catch, 21-yard touchdown. Is it run after catch type stuff? The first one was. The first one he caught like a five-yard hitch and made three people miss and he scored. The next two, he just runs by the corner and scores. Like he's insane.

Somerset is elite in their state? No. They're not? No. Okay. I think they're just a private school that had some money and wanted to do an experience. Got it. Got it.

Because, I mean, listen, the dude's obviously a baller, but those sorts of plays are when... That's what teams would do to us when I went to high school, right? Because we were, that's not like normal football. No, but he will also do this against the best teams that Argold will play. Really? He's. Does he play defense, too? No.

Okay. No, typically at this level, you're specializing. Is this the one that Oklahoma State offered? Wait, how big is he? At one point, I think somebody from Argo out of. I just think of, like, R.J. Mickens was this guy in South like a couple years ago. where everybody was going nuts over him. Yeah.

He was more a DB, but when he went in at receiver, you just throw it up there. He'll get it. No, he only plays receiver. Okay, six foot. Yeah, he's headed to Texas Tech. Oh. They just buy their team. Yep.

Anyway. He asked him if he could buy your lunch or something. That'd be a real old man thing. I like when old guys have to talk to, like, a young guy who made money. They're jealous about it, but they don't want to say, like, this fucking sucks. This 19-year-old's got a bag. So they're like, oh, spare a dollar? Or maybe lunch on you this time?

Like, no, work for it. Bootstraps, bitch. He is my interview this week, so if you want me to work something, and I will. Make it shake. I want to see if you can work some of the stuff I've learned from the Downs Brothers. A couple of weeks... I don't feel comfortable calling him that, from Caleb Downs and his brother. I like the Downs Brothers.

I worked in keep the main thing, the main thing the other week. Just kind of be where your feet are. Make it shake. Okay, I'll do that. Make it shake. I think he'll give you a little dab for that. Okay. No chance, but in my head.

So first Cowboys Charter Trip of the year, I don't know how much needs to be reset. Jake hates it anyway when I reset. But it's awesome. It's the way to fly. I think you should reset. I don't hate when you reset. I don't even know that.

I think you should certainly do that. Week one, NFL season. New listeners, all the time. Every 15 minutes. I hate that and you know that. You get to fly with the Dallas Cowboys. Yeah, so I produced the National Radio Broadcast

for some reason they give us a plane on the charter and it's the best. It's a private little, I guess private air strip connected to the DFW airport and so you park at the building, you walk through very limited security. It's like T. a pre-check. Okay, that's right.

I forgot that you get to park for free, too. Yeah. So you don't have to have your wife drop you off or anything. You're just... No, no, no. Yeah. So it just... Yeah, car stays there.

You just have to be careful when you're leaving. Yeah. Allow yourself some time. I'll get to that. So you don't get buzzed by somebody in a Lamborghini. GP? Also, on the... Oh, no doubt.

On the way, I was not as early as I was wanting to be for the charter. but I did find myself traveling with a couple cars that I thought were headed to the same place I was going. Like an all blacked out, you know, nice luxury vehicle. And we all kind of did 90 on the way to the airfield. It was nice. Anyway, so you park, you walk through very limited security, you walk straight to the airplane.

You can put your tray table down. You never have to put your phone on airplane mode. It's amazing the things that... Are you wearing a suit? How do you have to dress for the flight? On the charter is business cash. What's that mean? Cackies and a polo, button up.

Okay. Yeah. At the game. Because the Stars games, we always had to wear a suit. Yeah. Which is really funny because the players would strip naked the second they got on the plane. Yeah. So we just...

Down to under armor. If you want to talk about the word performative. Truly. I mean, that was it. You're just doing it so that people can watch you walk on to a plane. I may be wrong. Was Garrett coat and tie? Yeah.

Okay, McCarthy changed it. And Shottie kept the same rules. McCarthy. I imagine Shadi's not. I can't believe it's not even less. Requiring Tommy Bahamas for everyone. Hey, where's your Hawaiian? Where's your Harri-Mari Flops?

When you get to your seat, there's a blanket for you already on the seat. There's a bag of food. You got your cheese and crackers tray, chips, almonds, banana. you sit down, they ask you what you want to drink, you can get water, Gatorade, any kind of sodas. Who do you sit by? I sat next to our Fox friends. I sat next to Ducey and Chris, the Fotog.

Oh, nice. Yeah. Ducey thought I worked at the ticket. That's cool. He was not aware that you're... No, he said, so how do you guys split up these trips at the station? Did you just run with it? No, I said, I do National Radio Ducey.

I'll be here every week. National Radio. show five feet from that I would not be allowed to do. He's clearly familiar with the dumb zone. I don't think so. I don't think so. No, yeah, I've talked to him. Yeah, I mean, I've talked to him in the studio.

No, I don't know if he's familiar enough to know Blake is with us, obviously. Yeah. I've talked to him enough to know he's not allowed to come on. Per Gat, I'm sure. I mean, that's just my guess, right? I mean, if guys who work there have to ask to come on, it extends. We weren't allowed to get Walonski. Hmm.

or David Moore I heard of the pregame yesterday And then when you get to altitude You pick Would you like your chicken or your beef dish It's steak, it's mashed potatoes You get a big carrot Side salad, shrimp cocktail

It's amazing It's incredible They're a hospitality company above all else It's truly It's just, it's wonderful Oh and then they'll walk through With fresh baked cookies and ice cream It's ridiculous

Pretty torn up looking ladies on the Oh buddy After the big After the big hype and, you know, laying a poop, what's the atmosphere like on the plane? It was pretty quiet. Okay. Because, like I say, we have the stars to compare it to, and they, performatively, it's not just walking onto the plane. Then they have to perform for the GM and the coach, unless you have a fun coach, like we once did.

Were you on that flight with gulletin? Uh, yes, I was with fun. No, no, that was not Kellettson. Who is the party coach? Yeah, it was, uh, who got fired for party. Montgomery? John Monty. Jim Montgomery.

Monty on Monty on. And we were on the flight where the owner was on. And the owner, we were headed to Vegas. And I was smacked. I had taken a very large edible and had a few drinks. And I got on the plane and was like, man, I'm too left up to be on the plane. I'm at work. and the owner and the coach were, I had no worries, bro.

They were like going for it. It was awesome. But anyway, it's usually like can't hear pin drop type thing. It's your. But if they party, they party. You have to act like you're really really upset. Which is funny. I mean, you do. And they over party for like one win in my experience on the Stars thing.

Yeah. Which is completely counter to the entire mantra of like treating everything even keels. Right. Especially for an 82 game season. Like so, you should be allowed to be pleasant after a loss if that's true. Right. But it's not. It's not.

Yeah. And so on the flight entertainment thing, I'll just, I'll hit the flight map. That's what I like to look at. Raw dog? Yeah, sort of. Can you tell me what a knot is? Ooh. I thought that was boats.

Notical mile? Yeah. What is a nautical mile? It's a mile in the speed, I guess. Is it like light speed? Like a fluid ounce? Yeah. Versus an ounce?

It was really embarrassing for me to... 100% humidity. Pull up a tab. What is a knot air speed? Pull up another tab. What does nautical mean? Like, I hate when you have to do definitions for definition. Well, you know...

Horsepower is a little more obvious, right? At least as an origin. Yeah. Yeah. You should not... A four horse horse. You shouldn't have to know that. They should get on the same page with everyone else.

Right. It's miles per hour. It's all that matters. Well, not if you want to get on the same page with everyone else. That's good point. I don't feel like Miles is a big deal. Good point. And so, you know, in talking to Christy Scales, like, I've seen her in...

Drop her. Sideline reporter. We had her on the show. Yeah, because you're so tight with her. Yep. Demanded. Yep. former producer

so when the charter lands her and her bunch are always in a hurry to get somewhere we're trying to get to the Chicago theater because of these people are playing remember Chrissy told us a story she flew out early one of the former Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders is on Broadway and was playing that night

and so I wanted to take a page out of her book and it just explore do something on these trips and so I went to the South Orange Performing Art Center and I saw a Grammy award-winning musician Isaiah Sharkey play on Saturday night. Did not listen to one second of him before I went. I just wanted to... You've never heard of this person and said I'm just going to go to a show? Well, so you fight with Claude. My AI, I kind of put in my music interest, put it in the

cowboy schedule and I say, well, just recommend shows for me to go to on the road. The South Orange Performing Arts Center. It's a 432-4.3,000. Have you heard of this? Yeah, it's in Jersey. So the Cowboys stayed in Short Hills. So this was maybe 15 minutes away. Tickets at Radio Show, City Music Hall for tonight, going for $1,000. Radio City, yeah, in New York?

Tickets. He's saying that Isaiah is playing another show. Tonight. Oh, wow. I'm saying they're going for $1,000 right now, if you want to believe this. Oh, I saw him for $40. Okay. First down.

It's a huge first down. That's moving to Jersey right there. So he's very talented. It's kind of like the Billy Strings concert I went to a year and a half ago. Five minutes in, I got it. I got it. It's jazz. It's music.

It's cool. It's good that you're good at that. I respect it. I don't need to see an hour and a half of it. Did you leave? I did. Nice. I did.

He's, again, very talented. Is this part of your, I want to explore and do things, but I'm just going to roll in, piss on it for five minutes. I didn't mean to piss on it, but. It's the Dan method. All right, walk around. Yeah, you can at least say I did something. I know, and that's really all I wanted to do. I went to the party.

The alternative was just watching Texas, Ohio State, in my hotel room. So I thought I would go out and explore a little bit, just do something. And so I thought one cool thing he did was he just, he named all of his influence. is behind a couple of his songs. He's like, hey, I was born in 89 in Chicago. I come from a hip-hop background. His drummer starts playing a hip-hop beat. So he loves Kanye.

And so then he goes like, but I'm also like an old-school jazz guy. I like a walking bass line. The bass guy, bum-b-b-b-b-bub. And then I also like this, and his keys guy did this. And that's like he would build his song that way. And I thought that was really, really cool. Once.

And so I've had it explained to me that jazz is kind of like, making love. I'll take your word for it. Holger would say it's like basketball. Okay. I, I, where was this conversation? Improvy. It starts, it's got a base.

Sure, there's something to this, but are you not more interested in this conversation someone had with Blake where they set him down and said, listen here. Jazz is a lot like making love. So if that is to be true, I'm going to say that bass players are really bad at foreplay. because as soon as any bass player starts plucking,

he is effing into it. And he just like from this, like, and I'm saying like the songs would have a build and a crescendo and a finish. I got it. But as soon as the song would start, the bass dude was just so into it. I just thought,

won't you just slowly work your way into it? It's jazz. Base guys love them some bass guys. stepping out of the pocket a little bit. Sure. I feel like turnstile is more my lovemaking, is it's violent pretty quick. Those songs are very short.

Jazz is lovemaking. I don't know. Now I'm thinking about Blake, like, kind of twirling around his bedroom a little bit. Let me slow. Let me slow it down for you, little, honey. I don't like that at all. Hold on.

Let me put this on. Costing change. Flicking around. It's disgusting. It's taking eight and a half minutes. I slept for 11 hours in the hotel room. Oh, out. Like a light.

Wow. Like a light. Saw Arch orchestrate the comeback, turn the TV off, close the curtain, set the thermostat to 65 and slept like. I have so freaking. No one's jumping into the bed. No one's bothering you. No kid crying overnight.

And why with the sleep regressions? Why does that make sense? And just you're sleeping the way God intended right there. It was incredible. So I'll fast forward to the game We were not in a... Well, if you're going to do that, let's jump. Let me just mention a sponsor.

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They have a showroom in Addison Because they are located here in Dallas They're not one of these big stores that kind of rolls in and they got a store in every different town. No, it's DFW. This is Dan Ratcliffe. He's my guy. I've known him for 20 years.

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Here we go. Our pros are the nicest. We've got the best prices at Flooring Direct. And here's Blake, rounding third, heading for home, finishing up as we talk. Shoot, do we call this Cowboys, or do you just want to finish up your weekend show? Let me finish up. Okay. Because you are talking about game day, right?

Yeah, yeah. So ride the bus over, Giants fans, very friendly on the way over. What's the bus scene? Do you ride on a bus with players? In the same line. Yeah, there's like five buses that will go over early. But I mean, are players on your bus sitting next to you? No.

Or is there a media bus? It's just, they're media. So the last bus is the media bus. Like, the offense is up front and the defense special teams and team ops. And then us, media. But we get to the stadium with the players. And so, like, outside the gates, all the Giants fans are screaming. Dak, we got R.L. Reese for you today.

Dak! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! It's great. Gets the juices going. It's the lifeblood. As soon as you get there. And the fans are flipping you off when you're driving in. It's great.

It's so much fun. So this was a big deal. Sunday night football. I think both teams had Spanish broadcast, both local broadcast, TV, Westwood One, all this kind of stuff. All this to say. Little old Compass Media, little national radio on in 50 states, was relegated to a suite across the way from the press box. Oh, so you didn't see Collinsworth walk by you to go to the bathroom? I peed next to him in Philadelphia last year, and it was awesome.

Yeah, that does sound great. Now, here's a place to pee. Anybody else with you across the way, or was it full disrespect? No, it's just us. That's tough. Just us. Burline ticket personal? He probably wasn't on this one.

Not really. No, he was. Okay. We rallied. Who's your play-by-play guy when you're there? It's Jerry Reco, who is on the fan up there, and it's a big deal. Like, anytime we're working. walking through the concourse or something, it's, hey, Jerry, listen to you every morning.

Okay. He's on Boomer or Sison's show in the mornings. And so on either side of us are people that have bought sweets, and they're knocking on the glass and cherry and waving to Jerry. It's cool. So we had to walk from the press box to the other side through the concourse. And so I'm walking through the 300 level, and I'm pretty sure the highest per capita guys who could whip my ass are Giants fans that sit in the 300 level.

A lot of meatheads? A ton of meatheads. Which makes sense that they love Dart and Scatabo. Yeah, yeah. It's like every Republican in New York goes to the game. See, that's what I mean about Dart, though. I feel like they're going to struggle with that, just like they did a little bit with Eli.

They haven't really had... I mean, Dart's a pretty boy and a half. He's like a reality TV Mormon. I know, but he's got that eye black and like... It's got eye black. A lot of the people... He's dude perfect went right. Yeah, I know.

But I'm just saying, like, when you think of, like, Cooper de Gene, it seems like he fits Philadelphia, Scatibo. But it doesn't matter. Your point stands. You know what definitely fits him? Harbaugh. Yes. And so they're walking around thinking they can bench about five pounds more every day just because the New Jersey team hired a tough coach. They were intimidating.

I mean, Dayball was a tough guy, but nobody took him serious. You know, the crowds would pop at different moments. He's too doughy. He's just too roundy, yeah. Harbaugh's... I don't know if it came across the TV. He seems intimidating, and, you know, I know he had a boring, terrible speech to open the season on Hard Knocks or whatever, but... I still think he has a bag, but we'll see.

Yeah, we'll see. The most hostile the crowd was was when Oversone hit Dart out of bounds. Like, I get it, it's a quarterback, but still. I think that's their guy. No, no, I'm with, I feel you. And look, the Cowboys, TC's always made the point that the 300s of Cowboys games, they should cater to more. And subtext there is you need more, more Latin music, you need to cater to have a Mexican flag on the helmet once a year. But the rest of the NFC East, not the rest, but really Philadelphia and New York, those are top two out of the top three, four, right there.

And what else is there? Just in mean crowds. Yeah. Not just, because Green Bay has a great crowd. Great crowd. The Denver crowd was great. It's very friendly. Yeah, it's Denver somewhere in the middle.

Yeah. But yeah. The other guys are just A-holes. And like Blake said, would love to probably take you out. Yeah. Yeah, smash your head in. So, all right, so my final thing. So in the suite is kind of stadium seating.

So, you know, the first level or first rows on the bottom. bottom, second row, third row, then the suite for the rest of the room. So how they jerry rigged this is they brought a six-foot table in, and they put the table legs on the ground of the second floor and on the armrests of the chairs on the first row to even out the table. It's like a floating table. Sure. It's a floating table, and so that way we could at least, my guys could have their charts and their broadcast boxes.

We had a monitor here, stats over here. But if they want to sit, they got to sit in the stadium seat, which you can't do and call the game. So we're all standing up. I had to bring in tall chairs to put all my stuff in. We did the best with what we had. So then the coin toss comes, and Jerry is about to throw it down for the coin toss,

and our table dumps over. We're hoping that's not where this was headed. So the legs that had been tape with duct tape to the chairs Either got bumped somehow or something happened And everything flew forward And so their charts flew out of the window Steve's Pepsi went everywhere Their boxes fall

The monitor crashes and breaks the TV broke And the headset flew off of Jerry's head He's connected To the box And so My first thought was Oh Like

And so I just had to snap And so Steve still His headset on And so I told the engineer Just run the entire coin toss As then I run down The stadium steps past Steve And I'm trying to find Jerry's headset

Yeah We gotta get his headset back on somehow And I can't find it And so I'm looking over the edge And people from the section below Are pointing They're like, phone, phone. And I look, and Steve's phone is dangling by the charging cable.

Shoot! And so I pull up Steve's phone, give it back to him. Jerry is still in shock. I'm like, where the heck is his headset? And so I'm looking around. I look back, and then the people point up, headset, headset. And I look over his talkback box had fallen out one window, and his headset had fallen out the other, and it was being held by the cable.

And so they were both swinging there. So I had to bring those back up, back up, and I look back and Steve had given Jerry his headset. Yeah, he don't want this time, Bob. No, he can't bam. I don't let this blow up somewhere else. He can't vamp. And so I put the boxes back up, but I know, like, as an engineer, like, play a place headset needs to be on him, color for there. And so I'm telling them to swap, and they're still in shock.

So I take the headset off of Jerry's head, give him back his headset, put your headset back on Steve. their headsets are back on and then I had a sort of intern who was shadowing me I pointed to him opening kick read opening kick read got the ad read in so I mean

we're getting back on this guy yeah this is why he's been through the wars he's yeah he's been at girls basketball games junior high games where things went awry and he did the show

the whole thing from a phone taped to a can to a wire that a guy outside had to hold up a coat hanger to make sure the signal got through. This guy's just a steady hand. He's been there. The only thing that I could think that has happened to me like this is one time Dave Barnett's charts flew out of the swamp press box windows

and it was dangling on a ledge and Hank had to hold my feet as I was out of the press box. I kid you not. I had a coat hanger and tape and I taped it and I got his charts back into the game. Well, the counts, you just care, the listener knows what they're hearing. Yeah. They're a Puerto Rico. And so, uh... Wow, man, that's great.

I pulled the air check. Do you want to hear what it sounds like? Yeah. Yeah. I have not heard this yet. I literally just got this. So I hope it's queued up correctly. Um, but again, so we're back from break.

The coin toss is about to happen. And I think you'll hear when everything hits the fan. Who's that cut through the wind. No, okay, that's us switching headsets. Well, I know you already love that sound. There we go. Okay, see if you can find Jerry falling too, right? We need to...

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That's the Clinton thing, yeah. Compass Media pre-game. Jackson Dart, his second year, the expectations are high. There's a little bit more pressure on him. And the nerves are going to be very high as well. Boy, I didn't know Steve recovered like that. Wow.

Dude, great. There's a little bit more pressure on him. sidestep. And the nerves are going to be very high as well. So it's going to be a very interesting dynamic to try to work through as the game goes along. I love Phil Colman's playing. That's so good. All of this is great.

As the game goes long. So now you're, when we sit here and. I'm around Steve. How does he van? Anyway, when we sit here and talk about it, obviously the, the, the, the, reason for the optimism. There's so many different ways to take it. But, you know, I don't know what the...

He ran out of Jesus. And the members of the 25th anniversary of 9-11. We will never forget. Blake said take the toss at this point. He just stopped in the middle of his... He didn't toss it, though. No, but he's a color guy. He doesn't...

That's so funny. That's not his bag. And so, yeah, run the coin toss. Now, it is heads. Luckily, this bought us some time. Okay, so now Steve's headset is on Jerry. All right, will you hear from Parle Chephyrs, our head referee?

The point of us. And this is you physically taking up his headset? No, I'm getting his headset back up. Okay, that's what we can hear. The headset noises are me fishing his headset back up into the booth. Should the energy in here be pulling down on the... I was the one that snapped in, actually. I will do it.

I'm the producer. I'm the man. I will get it back. I got it. Carl Chephyrs, our head referee, the point of us. He should be on the volume, that's it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He should mute.

You're right. You're right. And what we will see coming out in this first quarter at MetLife Stadium, the Cowboys wearing their white jerseys and the gray pants, the stripes that either side, the Giants in their home blues. And we are just about set. I think I'm about to switch headsets. For kickoff here at MetLife Stadium.

Alongside Steve Burline, I'm Jerry Reco. Oh, no, that's me. Do the Skechers read. Wait, let me hear it. Boy, very high-pitched voice, too. Dang it. Nervous. Burlion.

Jerry Reco. I'd say another very cool thing that the Giants did. They had members of the Columbia family who lost their firefighter father on 9-11 serving. Jerry's a good man. Captain's for the coin toss. Very, very cool stuff. Opening kickoff between the Dallas Cowboys. The New York Giants is brought to by Hands Free Sketches.

Yeah, get the ad reader. The Scetsuree. Cut through the wind. All right, here we go. Give me your headset. This is Steve's. This is yours. And again, the engineers not riding.

So the Cowboys will receive the opening kickoff. And we're back. And no one at home knows. Nope. Well, a bunch of weird noises. but then we're out of the gates. And then, of course, the Cowboys go three and out, and so they don't take a commercial break.

The Giants have an eight-minute drive, so we don't break for 30 minutes. All stuff together. And then when we finally do break, we just all look at each other like, what the F, man? It was awesome. It was a mess, but it was, I don't know.

At the end, I'll remember that. The night our table dumped over, headset and phone flew out of the booth. Cue up the following. There you go. Go ahead. I've always wanted to be. What a...

What a... What's that. That's good. That's Jerry almost falling off the podium. He saw President Clinton walk in. Come in his house. What a... What's that?

What's that? What's that? Similar? I gotta find it. We will never... As the game goes along. I'm sorry. There's a little bit more pressure on him.

Nerves are going to be very nice as well. Fresh on him. Dude, Burline's a cool customer, man. Dude, I didn't know he recovered like that. Yeah, he's been in a pocket. He kept it moving. He's got his head blown off by Russia. No problem.

He's seen a blitz. Boy, that's great, dude. It's a fun night. Back at 4 a.m. in bed by 515. Here we are. And here we are. Bowling. And now we start talking about the game.

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TXTridant.com. Triton Access Services 817512121212. I think they have a decommission Humvee. I'll play you something from the very beginning of the game that I thought was, we were in 9-11 mode last night, guys. Big, big, big time. It was in New York. What are you going to do? But it was all day in the NFL.

We're really doing it today. I thought this was a little bit, not tasteless, but an interesting transition. Sports so meaningful. 25 years ago, post-9-11, and front and center. In the remembrances, especially in this area, this weekend. Oh, Giants fans remember how much Odell Beckham Jr. impacted this team when he was here. Okay. Yeah, go ahead.

No, I just, I don't know. For Torrico, I feel like that's a little cheap. A little quick. A little quick to use the remembrances of that day. Well, remember that bad ass catch. Speaking of remembering. The guy that likes poop. Yeah.

Do you remember this guy? Yeah. It was odd that they... Don't just say the guy who likes poop and run away. I don't know what that means. Tell us a story then. What story? Isn't that it?

Didn't you pay a girl to poop on him? I don't. There was, That's more than a kink, bud. That's a kimp spin. Unconfirre. I don't know. You know.

Anyway, they've interviewed him on the field pregame. Yeah, standing in the spot. A guy, it would be like if the cowboys, like I dream, they would, sign Des at the very, very, you know, like, hey, you made it. You're a sixth receiver. Why? You know, it just felt weird. It felt weird to interview him because you knew he would have. probably zero impact on the game.

And that ended up being the case. Yeah. But, yeah, I don't know. I thought that the tone was set on the first drive. Actually, let's say the first possession, because it wasn't really a drive. To not go for it on fourth and inches, I know it was at the Giants 40.

But, you know, mid-feet, I just remember Parcells. I remember there was some kind of a thing with Parcells. And maybe it was there not down near the goal line, and they were on like the one. And they ended up four straight running plays and not getting in or something like that. Maybe it was like they got in on the fourth. And they were asking Parcells about it. And it was, you know, we want to be able to be a running team that can get a yard if we need a yard.

And if we can't be that, I want to prove that we're that team. You know, like we have to be able to be that team. and I was just wondering, is Shadi afraid of the answer that that challenge might give him? Like, you can talk all you want, but then actually doing something. You can talk about your team as, hey, we're tough. Standard is the standard. Like, you could say all these things, but you've got to put it into practice once in a while. And you talk about Shottie, and you look at his numbers last year,

one of, if not the least aggressive coach in the NFL, as far as the charts and when you should go for it and all that kind of stuff. And I just thought that meant something. I thought you got Gotti, right? We're the greatest offense, blah, blah, blah. So you're the greatest offense. That's the way we're walking into this season.

A lot of Super Bowl talk. We're going to be the greatest off. Not going to be the great. We are the greatest offense. And you're afraid to go for fourth and inches on your first drive of the season? Because I don't know, what if we don't get it? And then we gave the Giants the ball right there.

Then they may just march down the field and score and just a handful of foot. You're the greatest offense. Go for it. Well, you got pickens. You got C.D. Lamb. You're telling me this is a Belkow-type running back, which I never buy. You have Dak Prescott, who is a smart guy and certainly, you know, Mark quarterbacks can almost always fall forward or somehow find that little hole in the line.

And what are we? In fact, I think the Giants did it on the next drive. Or was a fourth and one or something. I don't know. It was a quarterback sneak. Yeah. And, you know, like we see it so often. And it wasn't like a point where, boy, that's really putting us, that would really be second-guessed.

If I did that right here, it's not the end of a game where, man, if I give them possession there, then they have a cheat. you know, we're up by age, something like that, you know? I thought the stakes are really low, but that's the way you came out to set the tone for this whole season. And certainly that game is, and then even you were pointing this out last night, I might not have thought of it so much. But the, when you go up to the line and try to do the draw them off sides bit, and then you have to meekly walk away because you burn a time out,

or maybe they took the delay, right? They took the delay. Like, it's, you know, doing that on the road has never made sense to me. And then the crowd. All I hear about from football coaches is how much momentum matters and the field. We got to keep buying. We won't have the crowd.

We won't limit, mitigate the crowd. But then we just walk up to the line of scrimmage and, like, let them timed up with a clock go crazy. How about this is the one time where truly you have the element of surprise? because they don't know if you're going to snap the ball because you don't ever, but most people don't really. You could snap that bitch at six, and they'd be like, what? That's insane. Nobody does that.

And it's also the one time where the first point of attack and the first contact that's going to determine the play. That's the entire play. You have one foot to gain. The play is over if you can move the point of attack, one foot. But nobody does it. The worst thing you can do, I would say, is run the entire clock down and let their defense walk off the field going ape shit.

Taunting you. Yeah, and get their crowd super, super fired up. Everything about that, I can't stand. I mean, if you want to punt it, punt it. But I don't prefer that. But doing it the way they did it to me is meek. And it's exactly right. It sets a tone.

I've always thought that whoever the coach of the Cowboys is, they're like the safest coach in the league. They should coach like that. they should let their nuts hang but they wouldn't have the job if they were the type of person to do that in the first place so that's where that's foolish

if my aunt had a dick she'd be my uncle right you think you want Shottie to show up and be like dude I'm the coach of the Cowboys everyone thinks we're gonna like this is the hyped as hyped you're going to get as a coach and you're presented with an opportunity right there

and you're coaching like you're going to be fired after the game it was a disaster and I'll go a step further they clearly they thought they got the first down. So this was not a decision that had like a whole lot of process to it. They thought they got the first down. I don't give a shit.

Challenge it. I didn't see a look that I thought was definite. It was, but the point is also that it was close enough that the ref thought that it was a first down. In that event, your only call should ever be a quarterback sneak. Because that means it's close enough to where we're just down to the eyeball. They don't have, I don't know why Jake Ferguson or Brevin Span Ford can't be that guy. Hell, Joe Milton was 4 for 4 on sneaks in the preseason.

You don't need to overthink it. In addition to that, they're also a good running team. I know you joke about like, oh, they're just, they want to say they're a good running team. Last year, the Cowboys were a power running team. They don't have a lot of those. Quick refresher, a zone run generally involves your offensive line just sort of running to a zone. They're not blocking a man. They, at the stab of the ball, step to a zone.

The defenders flow with them, and then the running back finds a crease in there somewhere. The way the Cowboys were blocking last year, and the way teams used to do this, was they man block or power block, which is just this guy and this guy are going to go attack that guy. And the Cowboys did, that to me, isn't, you don't have to do it, but it definitely is a more physical way of playing football. They did that last year. They did it well. They ran the ball well.

And in the first drive of their season, they were presented a 12-inch gain that they needed. And the result was then punting the ball back with the opposing stadium going nuts. Complete failure. I thought it was interesting. No one really asked Shadi about that after the game. It was two plays were the main thing.

If you only heard post-game interviews with players and coaches, You would say the DAC interception. Before half. And certainly it was very significant because they came down, scored before the half, then they scored after the break. So the game. A lot of other game, though. They could have.

Yeah, but to me. But then the Giovante penalty was the other big thing after the game that people were mentioning because they were going to go for two. But that penalty pushed them back. obviously when it made, you know, then Brandon missed the extra point and blah, blah, blah. I like to be able to get, though, we were going to go for two. I'm an analytics cool guy with no stakes on the line. Last year, we had that exact same scenario and they did not go for two.

Maybe they were down two scores. Maybe they figured something out after a year. Like, hey, now we'll actually follow the right way. Yeah. In their defense, Christy did say right after it happened on the radio that they were going. good to know. Pratt personnel ready to go. No, you're right, Dan.

There was a lot of game left after that, but my way of watching that that I think about football is that we, and this is where fantasy football drives me crazy, but I get it. But the game is just played very differently depending on the score. And I don't think the average fan or somebody who looks at a box score takes that into account. So when Dak makes that mistake, dude, he's giving away his chance to play normal. football for the rest of the game. And that's on him. That's why you like fantasy receivers on the Cowboys because you think they have a bad

defense and they're going to have to chuck it around a lot. Yeah, no doubt. But just that like the yards that you gain when you're down 21 and the things you can do and can't do, they now know you have to throw the ball. But this is the point though of Godi is if I can just score against you and you're not Gotti anymore, then you're not Gotti to begin with, right? Oh, yeah, for sure. I'm just saying the. giving them an extra possession and a touchdown. What do you do when you get punched in the mouth? They got punched in the mouth and then they just cowered.

They're like, yeah. I mean, that drive they put together to bring it back. I mean, they just, I don't know. They were severely outcoached. Obviously, the Giants would have kept scoring if the game kept going. They had no answers. You're, what, four, 10 plus play drives. Well, the killer.

It's not. Yeah, the defense, look, the offense wasn't good. the defense was the killer in the sense that, like you said, they came right down, they scored, there's five minutes left, and the Giants don't give up the ball. Like if you can just run the clock out with five minutes left, that's a testament to your run game. That's great for you. And if you have a defense that is worth half an S, you should be able to get the ball back at some point. Because what is that situation, Jake?

it's another situation where you and you know what Harbaugh is doing he's running the ball yeah they're not doing anything crazy there's three white guys back there and they ran the ball down the cowboy's throats and that's the one thing that i thought the defense i've heard that that's the thing they're going to do well at least they got the big boys in the middle they've never done this before this is going to work because they're going to stop the run i didn't work last night but you know the stop the run part yeah it was i uh i i'd like to like to wait a few weeks. It's not an excuse. I do think the Giants will end up being a very good rushing team. Well, and yeah, last year. If you're a very good rush defense, you don't just get

clocked by a very good rushing team. You hold your own. Last year, though, we were, you do have to wait and see because it's like, wow, Russell Wilson still got it in him. Like, didn't he throw for 400-some yards against the Cowboys? Oh, yeah. And then Russell Wilson, just the rest of the league's like, no, he actually sucks. And he's out of the game, right? Yeah, he's working for TV. But, you know, like, they have a weird setup, right? Because Shottie's calling the plays, but he's not the guy who's, like,

necessarily installing the offense fully. They also have an offensive coordinator who gets a lot of shine. I think that's probably weird for Shottie. I don't know. My whole thing on the defense was, how about a timeout? What if towards the end of the first half there when you're just, you're not really anticipating

getting the ball back, right? Like you don't, you have two timeouts left. Just to slow things down, calm down. Can Shady just go down and be like, what are we doing? What's the situation right now? And I don't feel like they have that level of synergy as a stat. I didn't feel like they were on the same page at all. Like, for example, you brought up the Chargers.

Did you see them asking other Harbaugh about, like, the struggles they had at Guard? They were rotating a couple guys. I didn't. He don't have a clue. Like, Mike McDaniel's coaching the offense. Harbaugh is in charge of the team, but he's like, oh, yeah, we're going to. It's very clear which guard was playing better on which drive, like the reporters got all this data. And he's like, he's like, I don't know.

you know. And I'm not saying that's exactly shoddy, but it doesn't appear that he has like full command of things at the moment. Well, I heard he was in the defensive meetings now, and that's why things were going to be a little different this year. Took a page from Zeke. I kind of think, and then that's why I say, I go right back to that first drive.

It's the attitude. It's the we can get, we are this offense we can obviously get a yard you coward with that opportunity there and just throughout the game it was even though it wasn't working

it was like yeah but we're going to pound the rock we're going to pound the what about you have two all pro level you know receivers what if we air it out what if we let Dak cook I thought you're the guy that hey I was the guy that let Russ, if we mentioned Russ again, let Russ cook, right? I was the guy.

I'm the guy. I got ousted from Seattle because I just wanted to just keep scoring more and more and more. Like, I feel like that might be the way the Cowboys have to play football because they sold themselves this stuff, that's this thing that no one has seen yet. How about a little wait and see before we anoint the Hall of Fame jacket to the new safety? and we also give another head coaching job to the new defensive coordinator. What if we had slow played that a little bit and like, look, there's going to be growing pains.

We've got a lot of new players. Let's see how this, you know, before we get ahead of ourselves, no, they love to get ahead of themselves. They love to tell you, actually this year's way different. It's way different. I mean, we face these guys in practice every day. It's night and day. That's a way different defense.

Really? Is it really? because the Giants won the time of possession by like 13 minutes. That is a part of this Fangio defense, though. I think we said it last week. What? Giving up long drives? Oh, trying not to give up the big play.

Yeah, with the thought that if the offense runs enough plays, they'll make a few mistakes. And they did. But, I mean, to think that the Cowboys are going to get teams off the field in a decent matter of time, that's not this defense. They're just going to limit big plays. So, yeah, I mean, we said it last week.

Get used to eight-minute drives this year. So 36 to 23. 36-40 to 23-20. That was the time possession. Yeah, I don't care about time of possession too much, other than, like, I guess, just what it tells you about how else they were just getting bullied around in the game. I mean...

Well, you care when the offense only got two possessions in the second half. Yeah, but, I mean, that's why giving one away at the end of the first half is where things, once you do that, now the other team is going to play in a way that further limits your possessions. So that... Yeah, but you're supposedly... That can stop that way.

You have a defense that, at the very least, it could stop just some team from running down your throat, and it didn't do that. So that's the one... You were very concerned about the secondary. Big concern about the, you know, slight concern, at least, about the pass rush. But no concern.

at all about the run defense, right? Those are the levels of concern, if I remember. I don't know. I mean, I would say that for them to arrive at being an average defense, then their run defense, it's not going to be great, but it's probably going to be like average to a slightly above average. I didn't know. Last night was as bad as anything last year.

In fact, I believe by EPA it was. Well. So yes. No, I think at the end of the year, just my projection of, I think, they're average overall, I don't think they're going to be a top three run defense. Well, right now. But I expected much better. At least week one, there are only three teams that gave up more yardage on the ground this

week than the Cowboys. Only six teams gave up more yardage overall on defense. Yeah, no, I think I'll have to pull it up, but I don't even think you should give him that. I think it was the worst defensive performance of the weekend by EPA. It was. And if you go over to the offensive side, only three teams got less yardage than the Cowboys.

The Vikings, the Falcons, and the Titans. That's what you're there. Here's what Dallas won. 122 to 65. Penalties? Kickoff return yardage. So that's probably a bad sign, right? Because that means you're receiving lots of kickoffs.

It isn't average return. But it's just overall yardage. yardage. Yeah, now, I don't know if you care about this, but I'm trying slightly this year. I'm going to, even if it results in me looking like more of an arrogant prick than I normally am, I'm going to try for us to work some of these different football things in here. That yardage number is bullshit because it's not accounting for any of the penalties that they drew on deep pass plays. You know, it's not accounting for the game at all.

their defense finished with the worst EPA in the league this weekend. Not sixth worst, the worst. I believe it was worse than any game Dallas played defensively last year. Ouch. Worse. Their offense, I'm not saying it was good. This number is going to be a little bit misleading too, but it finished fifth over the weekend.

And they didn't run a lot of plays, so it is per play. So that's somewhat misleading. Anytime you don't run a lot of plays, this stat. is going to look a little funky. But I feel like they were trying to get the ball somewhat, at least out of the field of Cedian Pickens. You had some drops. You had the PIs. I'm not like super worried about their offense.

I'm worried about their coach, which I know those are like related, but I think their offense is going to be fine at being good. I still have major, major questions as to whether their coach can make them great. and if you were staring down that first moment of the game last night, if you pass on that, you're not even sniffing great. No, that's that, you're absolutely right. Like, Pickens had a couple of big drops. One might have gone all the way. That one, I mean, Dak had some couple of bad throws,

but he had some great throws that were dropped. You're right. CD Lam's numbers would look way better if he'd you like two. You know all too well. Yeah, he's on my fantasy team. We had two real long pass plays that he got in, you know, that one number 22, whoever that is. Does that use him? No.

Was very, uh. What? Why? He'd do this after every play, and then they'd show the replay, and he's, like, holding the guy's arm. Like, okay. It usually was one where Collinsworth's, like, oh, that one? Oh, no, they called that. Oh, there's a third.

Should we, should we, do these guys know there's replay? Like, what are, like, when you do the, oh, well, how me? Are you kidding? And I know that I'm just... And then it's like the most obvious. I got to start my journey with Kim Skaboo of hate. He's going to be a hate... I'm going to have to hate him for a long time.

But him bitching for a face mask last night. And he was the... That's like a thing where you believe the player, right? And I think he just got hit in the face because he was bloody. But after that, he's freaking out. You know, and when he freaks out, it looks so... They show the replay, there's no face mask. I hate...

It's like in the NBA, right? Like the dudes who sell it the most. and then you look at the replay and you're all right. But in any case, their offense, I think Tyler Smith is a thing, but it's not like they can't move the ball. If they lose Tyler Smith and then you can't move the ball, then you shouldn't. I'm going to keep going back to Gotti.

It isn't me that invented it. No, I know. Okay, the media didn't come up with this nickname. They did. They planted it. They wanted this, so they get it. It's fair. Can I ask you one scheme thing?

You can try. I'm not sure. Yeah. Well, no, no. So this whole Vangio defense, two high safeties, this was a response to the chiefs, I think. It's all like nothing over the top. So offenses have to go 10, 11 yards at a time, 15 play drives, 8 minute drives. That's how they have to score. That keeps your offense off of the field. I think they're not playing complementary football. Their schemes are not complementary of each other. If you look at the chiefs, their offense, few years ago could score at will, they also had Spacknola on the other side who'd blitz the F out of you to get you off the field to get their offense back on the field. Yeah.

It's just, this doesn't mesh. I mean, it may be the case. You know, it's like when before we would say, all right, well, then it did fit because they were a team that was going to just go, they were going to get right to the quarterback. That's all they would do. You're going to be throwing against us. We're going to be throwing against you. It felt like it matched, right?

Yeah. Kind of empty, but it felt like it matched. all I would say is it's not just limiting big plays, it's confusion, right? And he blitzed a lot more than most Vic Van Geo teams do. But it's not guys in the box. I mean, you cannot stop the run if you have two safeties back there. But usually what happens at the snap, and this, I don't know if this is good or not, but usually what happens at the snap in this setup is one of those guys is coming down.

So before you would, you know, too high. the field is in half. Now, and this is why you like having two guys that you don't know if he's the fast one or the strong one, they can both do the same thing. And so at the snap, one of them is going to go back and one of them is going to come down. And now we're back in a three shell

because we have one high and one down in the box, but you don't know which guy's coming into the box. That's the idea. I get all that. But to simplify it in football, it's we have more guys blocking. Your guys are back there. We're going to run for five yards of time.

We're going to have third and short and we're going to throw to likely for a first down. That's how it played out all night. I'm just saying if you feel like you have the greatest offense there is, you should have more possessions over a ball game to prove that you're the better team. If they played an extra quarter, I think the Cowboys come back. But they didn't have those because the Giants ran out the clock. This doesn't match to me.

It's possible. And I think a lot of games are going to play out like this. They are, they do have like giant defensive tackles, but they're a little light in the ass at linebacker. I mean, that is just, you got to pick, I guess, where you're going to put your money and overshown was getting fucking ragdolled last night he looks small when he's got to play that role what do we say about the that little flat pass that they did like three times and yeah i mean i think it's probably too simplistic to say it's the same play but obviously they

were realizing that if you ran some things at dallas they were having trouble passing it off from one guy to another and when that happens communa The communication Might have been an issue. The communication piece. But yeah, usually if you screw something up, it's not going to be the first guy in the read that's open. But it'll be late.

If we check through a few times, somebody's going to be standing there. And that's when I might have called a timeout. It said, hey, let's take a look at this. Let's settle down. Maybe play some putt putt, do some pop a shot on the field. We like to compete. Have dinner during the timeout, get together.

All right. Well, I think now is a good time for a timeout as well. The Dumsa, Dumbza. The Dallas Cowboys' 2025 season ended just like it started with disappointment. Tom Pelliserro here with some breaking news into the NFL network newsroom. Micah Parsons is a Green Bay Packer. Before first year head coach Brian Schottenheimer ever took the sideline, His training camp was full of distractions and drama.

We expect a player paid like Trevon to be here all the time. That kind of hurt my feelings. Michael Parsons. I mean, there's not really much movement, man. You know. I was laying on the table in the middle of the game. Have you had a discussion with him at all of any of that stuff? Does that stuff matter to you?

What followed was an underwhelming first year for Schottenheimer, or Shottie, as he demands to be called. Maybe the fact that Gritz tattooed on my hand has something to do with that we look at that. Despite last year's meager win total, you know, 6-7, 6-7, the vibes heading into year two could not be any higher. I just love how quiet has been in Dallas this off-season. But just a lot of like business being handled and not a lot of drama. That's right. The Cowboys went one off-season without needlessly dominating the headlines on a daily basis.

So what were they doing instead? Well, it's something that I'm working on here, you know. kind of in the back of my mind is, is, you know. Offensive coordinator Clayton Adams. How can you really have a break room or a snack room if you don't have a hot dog fridge? Goodbye holdouts. And if you're going to have a hot dog fridge, you've got to have high-quality hot dogs in it. Hello, hot dogs.

Do you know that a secret mic up is a thousand dollar fine and a $100 donation to the hot dog fridge? Last year. And Jerry, as he said, doesn't speak to many agents. I do. This year. And if you're going to have high-quality hot dogs in it, we've got brioche buns and maybe some pretzel buns. So last year When do you just be doing more than what you've done today?

Hmm? This year. And then one of the things I learned from going to Disneyland with my kids because I was trying to steam the bun, I was trying to toast the bun, and the guy at Disneyland goes, no, man, put it in the bun and wrap it in foil and let the hot dog steam the bun.

It's been revolutionary. Hot dog master himself. Wonder if he's got a hot dog fridge up there. Oh. Mr. Jones might have been listening. He spoke to the media after that. This is a god a bomb. We need a hot dog, dude.

You're listening to the dumb zone. Well, folks, it's the moment we've all been waiting for. It's the Jake show? The Jake show? Okay. I was just going to promote a couple of things. One week from Friday, we will be out in public. The demand has been heard.

We're answering you. We will be at Conne Roso in Carrollton. Is that the OG? It is. Well, downtown, right? The second OG. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The MG, the middle G.

Maybe a Julie appearance? Who knows? Who does know? And then tomorrow night. So last week we could solve this with gameday. com, but we finished, we got a little done ahead of our, we finished early. We got ahead of ourselves. We premature.

That was the word I was looking for. Thank you. Because we promoted action is the juice as our fantasy buddies. who I can't blame them, but maybe I should blame them. I mean, I ingested seven hours of their fantasy advice over the weekend a couple weeks ago, did my draft. And then this great tight end, they told me about everybody's taking this tight end. Their team scored 59 points, and he didn't get one. The Action Is It Juice will now be on Tuesday nights on our YouTube stream live.

the first week, apparently it's going to be later, like 10 or something. But then every week after that, so starting next week, every Tuesday night at 8.30, it will stream live. Then it will live up there on our YouTube stream. But I like it a lot that Machine and Daigle are doing the YouTube thing on our channel so that we can get fantasy advice. And by Tuesday night, because then Wednesday you're going to be doing your waiver wire. Is it a PPP League? So tune in to that. I don't like him just jumping in and doing this to the greatness of fantasy sports.

It's fine. He just doesn't respect things. He can just do straight eye contact missionary with the NFL. Some of us need to dress it up a little bit, but he's got to mock it. I don't need to. My life is built on first principles. I don't need all this extra. That's what he's saying.

You do eye contact missionary. Exactly. I don't need a... I need to put something on. I don't need a flying Santa at my Christmas presentation at my church. I don't need it. Tell us about Factor Meals before we start into some shoddy audio. I'm a big Factor Meals fan. I've been on Factor Meals many, many, many months in my life.

Factor has actually got me eating... It got me eating much healthier at one point in my life because they actually have vegetables that taste good. The protein, they have that unlocked. They've got a bunch of different options for you there. I was questionable about the vegetables. And it went great. I'm a factor meal fan.

Factor Meals.com slash dumbzone 50 off. DumbZone 50 off will get you 50% off in a free breakfast item per box for a year. They ship you the meals. You put them in the microwave. Other meal kits, yeah, you don't have to go to the grocery store, but you still have to make the stuff. With Factor, you don't have to make it. And you'll be stunned with what, two and a half, three minutes in a microwave,

the type of meal you can get for that. So, you know, ditch the fast food, the fast cash, hitupfactor Meals.com slash dumbzone 50 off. So Shadi, talking about last night's game, is not making excuses. But he did lead off the press conference with an excuse. One of the thing, not excuse, guys, we did not play well. But you got young players and young player closes in Jackson Dart boots and gets outside. We don't push three different times to flat route. Excuse my language.

You know, like, you know, those are going to happen. And we have to coach the young players better. But when you play young players, it's part of the deal. And they need to learn quickly. But that is not an excuse. But they are pretty young and they're the ones who messed up. He did point out that the big play of the game, of course, one of the big plays was the DAC thing,

and then he's going to wow us with some football terminology. Yeah, you know, he was trying to throw it away, and he didn't get enough on it, and that happens, but it was a big momentum swing. They went down and scored, and they got the ball in the second half, and they scored, and that's unfortunately what we call it double-dip, and they double-dipped us, and I thought, you know, we, offensive,

responsibly responded very well. We just didn't get enough ops there late, but certainly did not come out of the game very fast on either side. That's why I kept it in there. Ops. But like you said, double dip. He does big believer in the momentum.

The momentum, you know, I don't think the momentum is what allowed, you know, again, the three mistakes, all that kind of stuff, running back coming out of the flat, that kind of stuff. that's you can stop it you can stop it despite the fact that they got a double dip you could have won that game many teams that around the NFL had huge comebacks like in the fourth quarter because that's the quarter you win in as we understand but so it doesn't matter don't tell us about momentum before halftime and that's how you lost the game I I would hate to hear that but I just did hear it And then, but like you said, you want to talk momentum?

How about the beginning of the game? How about that first drive? How about you just gave them what you just say you preach that you love to get, and it's such a big part of the game plan is momentum. And then I just kept this because I wanted the drop because they were asking Shottie if this is a bad loss. Considering the expectations you guys had coming in, have you been around a more disappointing opening night?

No. I've been around a long time. So maybe. But right now this one feels pretty bad. Yeah, you know, I mean, that's... Been around a long time. I don't know. I mean...

Been around a long time. Yeah, he's the coach. He's the coach of the guys who put on the greatest offense there is shirts. But it's not like he's walking around telling everybody to gas his team up. So I get what Todd's doing. But, you know, even dabbo, it makes more sense to ask that question. because he runs his mouth a lot. Shottie's just kind of there.

I don't know. There is a lot of this team is different. You wouldn't believe it. Like I said, he's talking about the fact that, I mean, we got to play against this defense in practice. It's real. It's different. You've never seen anything like this.

No, that's not. That's what I'm saying. He's not saying that. He's not saying you've never seen anything like this. I think he probably kind of knows. And I'm going to take you a step further. This is probably a little too telenovela. I don't feel like he hates that Christian Parker got spanked.

You know, he's looking at it like, I thought this was easy. Yeah, I know. He got spanked too, but he did point out many times. We only had two possessions in the second half. That's throwing your defense under the bus. Yeah, no, I mean, and he hired the guy. He's going to ride with him.

But at the same time, I think he's probably like, Oh, I thought the golden boy, right? I mean, you know, this takes some time. Yeah, but I thought our golden boy was in the meetings now. That's why it's better this year. Why is it going to be better this year? In fact, I'm sure I mark some of that to save. So we'll be hearing that later in the week.

Yeah, I think some of it is, I think some of it is media created. And then they follow up and they're like, hey, how come you're not living up to the thing that we were saying? Some of it's the game. I don't, I mean, the media is a part of, but the media is feeding off of training can. I mean, they're talking Super Bowl, a team that can't get right past the first round of the playoffs in many of our listeners' lifetimes. That same team is like, no, of course we talk Super Bowl. Yes, expectations are high. What other team does this?

Like how much that differs, I don't follow the other 31 camps closely. That's what I'm saying is. If they're not saying anything different than anyone else is, then it doesn't, like, stand out to me. But it doesn't matter because what does stand out to me is that they got popped several. I mean, again, I think Scatterboos probably going to make a lot of people look silly this year. But if you consider yourself a team that can at least get by defensively, you're not getting carried down the field. Like every rushing attempt.

Every rushing attempt. Poor tackling. Von Miller, met with the meat. He did not seem that upset about this game at all, which makes you wonder something, but he was wearing just a very... I mean, does he wear this on the plane? He's got a huge cowboy hat and chains.

He goes for it, yeah, especially week one. He's certainly being Von Miller. Yeah. So they start with asking him about the communication, but then you're going to hear more from Von Miller. No communication issues. We just got beaten. You know, sometimes, you know, a loss like that is good medicine.

You know, you want to go out there and win the game. You know, really it just came down to that last draw. You know, we're able to get out to field that last drive. Even being down at eight, you know, I still have believed in the offense. To go down there and score, make it. Okay, I just wanted to stop real quick because he goes on for a minute. But a loss like that is good medicine sometimes. It is sometimes if you're a good team.

You're not sure what this team is yet. So it might just be a – precursor to worse things to come. But it's kind of like a team that's 10-0 or something. It's not bad that they lost that game. Got to remind them that they're human. You know, keep on your toes. I don't know if a loss like that is a good thing

because you consider yourself to be considerably superior to the Giants. And this loss might have shown you that you're a lot closer than the Giants than you thought you were. And the Giants are not like a considerably great football team. Yeah, maybe we'll see something different. Drive, even being down at 8, you know, I still believe in the office. To go down there and score, make it, you know, a tie game, two-point inversion. You know, you see the college game last night where UT in Ohio State.

It could have ended up being like that. Losses a loss, you know, get back in the lab and get ready for the commanders. I know you're looking forward to this, how frustrating was it putting that on failure. Well, that's cool. You know, 16 years in, I just got a sense of gratitude and very appreciative opportunity. Like I said, despite everything that happened, it really came down to that last drive. We were able to get off the field, which we had two good opportunities to get out the field. There was a lot of, they put the ball on the ground a couple times too.

We're able to get the ball. The complexion of the game would look a whole lot different. So very appreciative. I just want to get back in the lab and get ready for the commander. So he certainly has the long view. I can see that. Listen, if they're 5 and 7 or 5 and 6, you know that Magic Johnson meme where he's just gotten fired from the Lakers? Von Miller, I'm not going to be here.

Like if this goes sideways, Von Bill is going to go home. Yeah, and that's why he's like, it's cool. Just happy him. We'll check in in a couple months. We'll either be maybe going to go to the playoffs or I'll be going on vacation. He played 11 snaps last night. I didn't finish the fourth quarter, but very curious breakdown.

Only four of them were pass plays, and one of them was a first down. So, like, the whole, like, hey, this guy's going to be out here every third down, right? He wasn't at all. There were several big-time pass-rush situations where he was nowhere to be found. So in the first game, I don't know.

I don't know what the deployment was plan-wise, but it was uneven at best. And what's he going to say? He barely played. Yeah, yeah. Well, let's go to BSF. The rail line? What do you think?

BNSF. I know, but if we want to try to get a nickname here. Reverend Spanford, of course. I want him to become known as, the rail line. And Blake's favorite Cowboys reporter. Sam Bakeman-Fried. Who is...

What could be so many? Kind of doing PR. What does it say about the offense that you guys can have these self-inflicted wounds that you need to improve upon and still walk out of here with only an eight-point loss? I know you want no loss on the record, of course. I just kind of like how you say that real quick, and it's just not that big of a deal. That was kind of like a last second. Look at the score where you put up 20.

And still walk out of here with only an eight point loss. I know you want no long record, of course, obviously. But what does it say about what? Get out of the way. Yeah, I mean, we've said it all off season. The gaudy stuff, it has to be real. I mean, we didn't come out here and play like the greatest offense there is. So what can we do now?

We show up tomorrow. You know, lick our wounds a little bit, get back in the film room and back to work. So that's what we all were really focused on. He was the only player that I saw that did talk about Gotti or acknowledged that we fell a bit short of that. What the heck? What? I just typed in a website that I use in it. I mistyped one letter and it was definitely porno.

Well, I'm surprised my internet didn't block that. Okay. We'll run through it here for you. So the site that I use for all my EPA sites is running backs don't matter. RBSDM.com. I typed in RBSM. I typed in RBDSM.com and our sit-in got a... Oh.

Yeah. Again, it is RBSDM.com. Let me see the data here. Sorry. And then PJ Locke. I know you don't usually run to PJ Lock. He's not at a podium or anything, but he talked in the locker room. And this almost makes it worse for the kind of.

Cowboys what he had to say. Yeah, we knew what type of game that it was going to be, man. We know Lacquley's going to get his targets and everything. We knew that it was going to run the ball, try to shorten the game of, nickel and down us a little bit. Try to keep Darden as efficient as possible. And they did a great job today, man, at the end of the day. We didn't execute. They capitalized on the plays.

We didn't execute, and that was a game right there. You knew their whole game plan. It wasn't like something surprised you. You knew exactly what they were going to do. that is what they wanted to do, and then they just did it. That's kind of like, I mean, it makes you think of the old Green Bay Packers

and Vince Lombardi or something, right? They had four plays, it's just that, or Aikman and Emmett, right? People knew what we were about to run. They just couldn't stop it. Well, that was the case all of last year. Well, that's what I would say. No, I don't know that you knew everybody's game plan.

You couldn't stop anything. I mean, deception. We always talk about it, right? Deception. is the big thing. Well, then let me just put it to you like... I guess you can do deception within... Let me put it to you like this.

The Giants have more than what they showed you last night. They just didn't need to pull it out. They just didn't need to. And that doesn't mean that doesn't mean they can get to that and make... Because, you know, DART will still brain fart on you big time. But, I mean, they didn't really have to. And that's a sad state of affairs. And I think, I mean, Patrick Walker, you know, whatever.

He's doing his job. we have to, as we watch the game change and realize, like, you can come back from down 15 pretty quickly. Hanging your hat and having a point of pride on only losing by 8 doesn't mean shit anymore. That might have meant something before, but now if we're acknowledging that you can come back and win easier, then coming back and making it an 8-point game doesn't matter at all. You might as well have lost by 4 scores because their possession charge. was four touchdowns and a punt and a fumble, right? And on the fumble, he'd already picked up 11 yards on the ground before you stripped him.

I think he was going to score. They didn't lose a fumble though, did they? Yeah, the one where they, the Quinnon Hustle punchout play. Oh, early, okay. I thought you're talking about the Scada bow. He got back on it, but I thought he might have scored on that. That's true. But that Quinn and Williams play was awesome.

But if there's a hustle play being made by your guy who weighs 320 who had to run 11 yards, It's because they've already run 11 yards. Yeah. There is nothing respectful about the way they lost or respectable. And you're not writing about the Cowboys anymore? What's your D-Magazine bit? There will be some, but they've cut back. They've reorganized.

You know, stuff people move around. I'm one of the few people that is still doing some stuff there, but it'll only be every few months. I like doing it. It's just... I don't know if the juice is worth the squeeze. And then, like, we come in on Monday and I'm like, I'm going to use all this shit that I got. I have hours and out.

And then in none of it, we don't use it. You know what I mean? You're like, all right, well, is that worth it? Because Clayton was like, you should put it on our substack. And like, I could. And I think that there's a world where I might like to do something like that. But a morning after. But you don't have to do it at 2 a.m.

After the game. This is the first time I've had more than three hours of sleep on the Monday after a Sunday game. in years. Years, years. Because it used to be to do the Crowline after the post game show. You hate that?

Crowline after post game show, dude. That was the... Jake walked to school uphill both ways and I didn't. You've been there. You know what it is. When you've been up so long, your mouth starts to taste funny.

That's what it is. There's something to do that. Production guys, no. Yeah. Somewhere you're like, am I on drugs? Did I have anything else? Oh, we don't have time to do.

Maybe we do audio bag tomorrow. Is that what you're feeling? Sure, of what? Just around the NFL? I saw you pulled a few things from the game, and we're pretty late. I don't know how much longer you want to go, but I have a couple things I wanted to play. No, I don't have anything from the game. Okay.

Then this is not exactly a home run, but I thought it was kind of funny. We have such different types of athletes now, right? We were talking about it last night and today with Cam Scataboo. He definitely plays like a hard-nosed, you know, white running back. But when you see like Cooper DeGine and you look at his measurables, like he's more of a freak athlete than Caleb Downs is. So like our, boy, this guy reminds me of this guy. They're really becoming tricky, you know? Like who does Alex Berrios remind you?

You know, I don't know. But when it comes to coaches. Yeah, I got a chance to. talk to him the other day and i asked him the first question and he's answering it and i stopped him i said anybody ever told you you sound just like mike tomlin i was going to say my tomlin and he is instilled that kind of discipline all right i mean and he probably does sound exactly but it might also be like belichick a lot of people sound the same based on where they you know they're died but what you just there's one famous black coach right right like like you know you're not you're

Mike Tomlin is no nonsense. Right. But I might have also said John Harbaugh. John Harbaugh. You know? Yeah, like you said, Bill Belichick, Vic Banjo. Not exactly a fun guy. Yeah.

So right away. Oh, Mike. He had some pass rushies last night. I heard Tomlin was pretty good. I haven't watched the halftime or anything yet. I did. And I know you want to hate him, but I watched it Thursday night, too. He's good.

I think the bar is really low. So low. NBC's football products. Is it Ike? Is it Ike Taylor? Who's the extremely generic robot player that is up there? Ike Broves-Loski? No.

Thank you. For those who get it. But I think the bar is very low, much like with the defense. Mike Tomlin and Christian Parker don't have to do a lot. it's uh Devin McCordy oh he's got a bag

but I think Tomlin's good on TV I uh a couple other notes they said that uh Javante went to the hospital and stayed the night with Malik Davis I thought that was cool what happened to Malik Davis they said it was a non-contact injury at practice they said it was brutal they said it was so bad he had to have surgery

that day on his hip what's a non-contact your hip and they said, you know, they were like, Jvante went to the hospital and was like there, like, you know, it felt very Disney movie. Like, remember the Titansy? Yeah, I mean, that sounds like Shottie would lap that up. Yeah. Surprised Shadi wasn't there.

This is a semantic stand. And then he ran sprints after he was at the hospital. Right, then they had dinner. That taunting penalty was actually in his honor. Can you, is it binary? Can you only be? What a dumb penalty, man. That's indicative.

It's usually indicative of bad coaching or at least, you know, right? Yeah, but if Harbaugh does it, do we say Harbaugh doesn't have control of him? Because Scatabu absolutely should have been flagged for the way he got in that ref's face. Your two? And maybe that's what it is, which pertains to what I was going to ask. And all he talks about is the culture and how everybody buys in. So you buy in, that's what I was thinking about this defense, too. You're going to buy in as long as, like, something works.

And throughout training camp, you could tell yourself that it is working. I don't know, like how many of these games, before it's like actually do I buy into what these guys are saying? But what I was just going to say is Jackson Dart's second year, right? Yeah. Can you only be a rookie or a veteran? Because when they, like Chris Collins will talk about it and be like, that's a type of mistake, you know, a veteran quarterback.

That's a terrible C-C. No, I think. But they do it. And I'm like, Jackson Dart is not a veteran. This dude has started 12 football games. He looks like he's going to piss himself half the time out there. And that's fine. That's part of being not a veteran.

Right. I don't think you just lop him in with Lamar Jackson. I wouldn't care if it was just words. Yeah. But they use it on how they talk about it. And it's like... Like, Dak and Jackson Dart should be making different decisions. Wade, and you saw it last night.

They're like, boy, he's just above that. Like, Kyler Murray should not be making throws that Kyler Murray was making Sunday. Yeah. For the time he was out. Because that's a veteran. But yeah, I just thought that was funny. I guess you got to get to a second contract, maybe. And you don't say rookie, but you're just, you'd maybe like to say that's a, it's just the way it.

Young. Yeah. Another observation from the Dumb Zone. Can NFL referees have facial hair? Have we ever seen a bearded referee? I go to the, there's a 90-minute broadcast meeting with the referees before each game. Every single ref in there was cleanly shaven, which got me thinking, I don't know if I've ever seen a mustache or beard on a referee. They had to have mustache in the 80s.

But like, you know, my dad, they weren't allowed to, that, that's a. that corporate male-dominated work culture of like the 80s and 90s you're not there's no beards interesting anyway I did uh I did laugh in the pregame when I was listening to the fans pregame show and broadest does like the zebra report which is just like here's how many penalties is and I always am like who the fuck cares the refs and then the game starts and it's like the most heavily penalized game in the week you know like okay I guess some some crews just call more penalties. It drives me insane.

They had it so deep that it's, so Carl Chaffers was a referee last night, they leaned heavily towards penalizing the road team. And the first five penalties in the game were against Dallas. So I don't know. Probably nothing, but it is interesting when they look into it. What was Chavonne Ravelle?

A lot of Kobe Durant, guys. The league. Can we get this year's not only Kenneth Murray, but who is our corner, Florida, Kyir Ilam. For the first 100 years of the NFL, officials were required to be clean-shaven during the season. They would allow only neatly trimmed mustaches. The league relaxed these traditional appearances rules to allow well-groomed facial hair and beards,

notably permitting officials to sport beards for events like no-shape November. Which I feel like that's not what the no is in November. I did. It felt like last year I do remember there was a lot more penalties called in November. It's all like, I don't know. Yeah, you're all bottled up. I kind of think that's why there's more fights at joint practices and training camp. Got to get a combat jack, you know?

That's why, you know, they don't like the boys at war to be able to access materials. Which I think is that been proven. I mean, is that back to the boxing thing? Like that's your legs. They don't want you. Women. They don't want you doing Blake jazz. But it is absolutely true that having an orgasm releases like chill in your brain.

Oh, really? It's like pass out or you get PNC or whatever. Sports science did this. Yeah. But the legs thing, I mean, you got to think about it, dude. When Michael Irvin is like, yeah, I stopped having sex the night before games. That's because when Michael Irvin has sex, it's a lot more involved. What you do.

The five-minute version of that. I don't think you'll be unable to perform athletically the next day. He's got four chicks. Yeah. I think I'll be fine running a 5K the next morning. We'll be good. All right. Are we set to put football away until tomorrow and do the news?

Sure. Let's have it brought to us by Braintopia. I'll be headed there after the show today. Braintopiascenters.com. I take my kids to the South Lake location. I first started going here because my daughter is autistic and deals with some, like, learning disabilities and some anxiety stuff and some whatever. It's, she's neurotypical.

And if you have someone in your life or you are in that category, Brain Topia can help you with neurofeedback treatments. You sit there, you watch TV or whatever you want to watch for 30 minutes. And you learn about your brain. You get 20% off your brain map for a dump. on customer, but if PTSD, sleep issues, addiction issues, learning disabilities, they help you diagnose and treat these things without just going right to medication at braintopia centers.com. By the way, breaking news, Ethan, our website guy, has emailed me.

49% of our knockout league chose the charge. Whoa. So that's how much closer you are to the big pot. Dang. I don't know how much money. But he says you can buy back. in. I will be doing that.

I think I have a freebie coming my way because I found out I wasn't supposed to pay. You don't want to give to charity? Nice. Pretty good. Pretty good. I guess I did not know as we were commemorating 9-11. 9-11 on Friday that there was big weather in town in some spots. but I guess Mansfield got hit pretty hard

and a utility pole went down this utility pole went down hit a work truck that was trying to get out of the hail so I guess this truck was trying to like park and then sparks fly and yes the power line fell on the truck and basically electrocuted the truck

created like an electric jolt And the guy, there was a ladybug on the guy. Now the guy is ladyman. And he finds himself at odds with Texas lawmakers. So he's solving crimes. He's actually helping. He solves crimes, but he only does it in drag. Yeah.

And now they just don't know what to do. This is our greatest weapon. By the way, why are all the drags... I mean, I think I know the answer to this, but why are all the drags brunch? Is it just because people who love dressing like ladies? Be they ladies or not love brunch. I haven't heard about any drag dinners. I'm a big fan of brunch, too.

I don't know if I buy that. You don't think I like brunch? You're not doing that life. That's like everything you're against. You got to eat outside. You get the same thing every day. You got to go to. But on a Sunday, a nice buffet.

Buffet? Yeah, a little brunch. You never been to a Sunday brunch buffet? I guess I have maybe once. Maybe continental? I just think of brunch and I think of beating. And I think of you as... I mean, I go a lot.

I went yesterday. Brunch is great. And I waited for 25 minutes. It's just another meal. That's the problem. It's an extra meal. Because you can still have breakfast and lunch. You can try.

A woman in a wheelchair in her 50s was struck in Dallas crossing the street. and killed early this morning. Cedar Crest area of Dallas. I mean, it happened overnight, so it's not like it was a broad daylight, but... Does it make it better? It doesn't make it better,

a little victim blame, I'd say. What are you doing? Did she have, like, whatever... A race? Yellow stripes on her, you know, something to stand out? No, I don't think so. I think... I think being homeless in a wheelchair

would have certainly some pros to it. You're covering a lot of ground as opposed to your friends who are bipeds tethered to their two feet. I also think that you're going to get risky with decisions that a person on foot would not make. You're going to think you can beat this across the street and you're going to have a false confidence.

Probably didn't have a motor on it, right? You're saying she was homeless? She's in a wheelchair crossing the street at 2 a.m. I don't think she was headed back to her M Streets, Vista. Let's see here. You're stereotyping there. How? You're profiling.

How? A MS Now, which is apparently still a thing that does the news, an MS Now crew got stuck in the mud trying to cover like the border wall. Is that the news organization owned by Michael J. Fox? Yep. Wow. I like it.

Now what would their spin on the delivery of the news sound or look like? Well, unless they were raising money, it would just sound normal. And then when it came time for fundraising, they stopped the meds. Sweeps. Do you know, have we released that story into the wild enough? That Michael J. Fox. Stricken with multiple sclerosis. Sounds like you and me.

In fact, probably smarter than me. He doesn't have words with Michael J. Fox. He knows a lot of stuff and he just sounds like a normal dude. But when he's going to do a fundraiser, fundraising event, he stops taking his meds like a week before. And then he gets all MS-y. You buy this, Lauren? There's no way.

There's no way. There's no way. We go back to the future. He's like Rocky. They got a training montage. Yeah, yeah. Worse and worse the two weeks before. Right before they're like, all right, you're ready.

Now you're walking too upright. MS now is not a news organization headed. It's one of these, you know, it's cable channel that used to be MSNBC or CNBC folded together. who knows. But they've got a bunch of Libtar journalists down on the border. Like, oh, man, look how messed up this is. They're putting a wall down here. We're going to tell this story.

And then they got stuck in the mud and had to call Border Patrol. I like that. It's very funny. Now. Do they save them? Because a lot of their... This government's actions transactant. Like, I'm not going to save this blue state.

I'm not going to save... Well, I think the dynamic you play generally is that if you're in the media there to cover the border, there's kind of a sub... You're there to see, like, hey, what are they doing wrong down here? Really, you're down there to figure out things that are way above Border Patrol agents pay grade, you know? Some shithead with a monocle who lives on a golf course on Hilton Head... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. who has a fucking fence company or something.

You're a foot soldier in Capitol's game. But on the ground, they're adversarial to each other. Yeah. And it's just like every, you know, every movie where the dorks have to call. But now there is a saving grace in the story. Three of the Border Patrol trucks also got stuck. Oh. Well, who do they call?

So after the first two go in and get stuck, the third one just thought. Yeah, maybe it was from different spots. I don't know, man. I've sort of memory-holded that part of my life, but I was mudding guy for like 18 months. And it was. Oh, what 18 months it was. Dude, you're stuck all the time. You're either stuck or getting someone else who is stuck out.

I never understood that. It sucked so bad. It's what I imagine golf to be like. Like, you convince yourself this is fun. So you just put up with a tremendous amount of ass beating. And then at some point you're like, I don't like this. Hey, let's go drive. Let's go drive in the dark until we can't anymore.

Yeah. Silly. None of these cars have AC. All of us, every Jeep or Blazer I was in or truck was made in the 80s. Just fucking, just awful. Cars barely running. And yeah, then you've got to call your buddy's dad who's just got nothing but homophobic slurs for you and your friends as he pulls up. Yeah, he's nine keystones in.

Yeah. unbelievable and then another one here four months ago a man in Dallas Joshua Painter he was walking his dog in Pleasant Grove and he was shot four times

for walking a dog that seems harsh was he not picking up the poo he uh this was straight up a dude was effed up walking around at night a guy walked up to him said hey do you want to die today there's pretty graphic cell phone footage of this and uh what was his answer yes i didn't read it because it doesn't make sense

maybe it would have made sense if i watched the video of this story instead of reading the text but it said is from painter he said do you want to die today i said dude take me off your script and I kept walking. Whoa. Guess that's the wrong answer. Yeah. So remember that? Yeah.

I'm going to go no. Unless, I guess, somebody's blowing out my candles and stuff. I'd say no thanks. So, a Fox 4 viewer saw this story and contacted the guy and helped him get reunited with his dog. that was with him that day when he got shot. Oh, it ran away?

I think it just, as I've told you guys before, what loyalty? I had a buddy, plural, get their door kicked in by the police, and they're not checking to see if your dog is... No. If something happens with the cops, especially, you know,

they're trying to take care of you. You know, dog gets separated. Anyways, good Samaritan. reunites his fellow with his dog, so we'll end on a positive one. How about that, folks? The Dumb Zone News. Like and subscribe.

That was a good news. Happy birthday. Thank you. What are the various labels of Samaritan? Yeah, I ran across one the other day. A real cheat. Mid. Yeah.

Mid-Samaran. Viewer male birthday is brought to us by Game Day Men's Health. The Ticeroa. out of day. It's a testosterone actually. TRT, where you can get 10% off at gameday.dumzone.com. I've got to mention, too, the game day box seats. Game day giving away seats here high atop my garage at the Dragon Den of Inequality for every one of our cowboy game streams.

So go to Game Day. Just get a free test of your testosterone. That's all. See what your levels are. While you're at it, like it's in the same test, right? PSA, yeah. Prostate Cancer. It's Prostate Awareness Month.

Prostate Cancer Awareness Month, or just prostate in general? I mean, you know, for me, if it's a day that ends in Y, it's prostate awareness time. Okay, so just, so you go in, you get a free check. It takes about 10 or 15 minutes. And then mention to them, say, I want to be in that contest to get into the den for the dumb zones. football stream. Every one of the places they're going to be like, what is it? The football, you know, say the dumb zone, say the football parties, you want in the contest, they will put you in.

And we'd love to have you. And then I would recommend just as fall picks up and your schedule gets more hectic. What are we waiting on? There's no Mitchell report for life. There's no Balco investigation for life. Juice up. You're leaving money on the table for yourself. So gameday.dumzone.com.

Brings us viewer mail birthdays. And we have greetings, Daniel. Monday is the Justin Rikowian. Rizcovian birthday of Troy Wolf. Oh, nice. Leaders are musculoskeletal Blake, Texas time Dan, and Jake's laugh with the Fox 4 ladies about his baseball football football.

throwing. I got to follow up and send them some video. Maybe I can get back on the post with Lauren Prisble. More chappy, less Christopher Nolan slander. Sorry. Him, him. Keep running the ball down the A gap from Easton, parentheses, Winston, Wolf. Oh, you know the wolf?

If you're looking for a room where you can drop the Winston Wolf thing, the guys from the bum zone designing they want to make a short film about gambling it'll play well with all eight dudes in that room they all very familiar with the reference roughly 100% coverage when they were telling me how great things were just blown away how easy this has been

but we weren't we were not done and I was the one with a place to be here so I was like all right let's uh chill out Winston Wolf it and they were like Ah, hell yeah. No, they're like, you're right, dude.

Let's get this done. That's what it's supposed to do. Evan, brother of Lauren. Yes, sir. Winston Wolf? Pulpiction. You know the reference? If we're like, hey, don't Winston Wolf this thing.

I know it. You're good? Lauren, all right. All right. We have a sophisticated crowd in here today. Well, I think really more just shows that Dan's awareness campaign is finding. It is Winston Wolf Awareness Month. You have to go to Game Day.

Game Day. dot dumbs on that. Wait, dear voracious violator of the vicious vaginal valley. Goodness. V for five. Today is the birthday of my sister, Michelle Mann. She's

29 in holding. Her leaders are Jake's woke agenda. Hell yeah. 29 and holding is a bad bit. They should do 39 in holding. 39 is the new 29. Especially if you're a lady. My grandma would always say 29.

Of course. And then she died when she was like 34. So, yeah. No, I don't know. She was like 70. The point is, we're living longer, right? We got game day. You're looking better.

You're 29-year-olds, yeah. You're a baby. You probably haven't even had a kid yet. You haven't been soiled. I forgot to mention this off the top today. But I went to a funeral before the show today. and I was just thinking because...

That's why... Okay, you're dressed a little more. No lie, dude. I brought another shirt. I have... I've got to find new t-shirts because I'm sweating through the premium big black...

Like, I can't use my clips from the comedy night because they're too sweaty. Dead ass. Dead ass, Dan. I'm telling you. So what? But the point is, this shirt... This shirt is what I wore there,

and it's black. black pants for the audio listeners. But I was ripping my baby blue vape. And it made me think, like, they got to make, like, a funeral vape cover. Like, it looks, everyone is wearing black. And then three or four people just pull out lime green, bright red, and bright blue vat. All, yeah. This is it.

It's got a... They don't have black vapes? You don't see them, really. I mean, because they're all these dumb-ass flavors, right? You got a little purple one there. Everyone dumbed. So I'm proposing funeral vape cover. Just a nice tasteful.

Dude, let's make it. Black case. This is our million-dollar idea. To let people know you're solemn with this next puff of licorice delight. Here's our Ukraine cover to show our support for our friends. Youvaldi. Pride night. Here's Yuvald.

Pride night vape covers. Yeah. 9-11. Never forget one. I mean, somebody made gibbitts, bro. Pitch this. Pitch this. Somebody like,

Shibits are like the fucking Ramora, speaking of sharks, of that world. Like, they just exist because something else does. Jibbets. How much do you want for 20% of your company? Mm.

Dumb Zone Vape cover. It's like our audience. Anyway, leaders are Jake's woke agenda. Wow. Michelle Mann. Leaders, Jake was agenda, the ever-growing concern for trans rights and sports,

and Rod Barajas. All right. Keep cranking that hog from D.F. Buster. What a guy. And finally, we have Hey Dan, Dan, the great at Sex Man.

I want to wish a very happy birthday to Bang Bus Letty. Hey. He's been one of my best friends for 10 plus years. I would say since high school, but back then he was too stuck up to talk to me. He coincidentally decided he wanted

to be friends when I came out as a big, fat lesbian, and started dating a woman. Imagine that. His leaders are Ray Lewis's non-airtight alibi. Let it go. The courts have. All the pens and Shottie's visor. Can we get sod to ask?

By the way. Is there a time in the walk-off where you can do a fun question where we don't all have to act like there's a stick in our bottom? Literally everyone had a FDNY 9-11 NYPD hat except that effing douchebag in his visor. No, it's because he knows it would be disrespectful to put. it on a visor, and if he changes from the visor to wear the hat, it just looks even more performative. Find a new slant. He might grow a pair

and a hat and go for a fourth and inches on the first drive. I love finding a new slant. Dude, nobody wants to let you know that he's basically a first responder than fucking Harbaugh. Yeah, it's on basically in the military. He kind of looks like a badass over there. And then he looks at our coach. He's like,

has a little birthday cake out because he just found out he missed the birthday of somebody two days One of them looks like a rich kid and was. The other one acts like he wasn't and was. We're both coach's sons. Do you want to play you that one? I found it this morning. It's not as great as I thought, but this is where Shadi just tries to put his resumes

next to Harbaugh and say we're the same. I mean, the guy deserves a tremendous amount of respect. I mean, the run that he had in Baltimore. I mean, my old man said, you know, 10 years is a shelf life for a coach, and what was he, 16, 17 years. Great man, great Christian. I just, I love the way he lives his faith. My faith is really important to me. I have a lot of respect for him and how he lives his life.

But guys are a tremendous football coach, and us coach's kids, we all kind of get along. I bet Harbaugh hates him. Yeah, for sure. I bet his dad would hate him. His dad was a hard-nosed mother-effer, man. I'm sure you had this, like, with what, sports, because you were good at that. But it would be like when I was in bands and stuff, and my mom would be like, oh, yeah, you know, Susan, her son does that too. I meet him, and I'd be like, this guy's not on my, what do you fucking, you own a guitar, bro?

We're doing shows. That's what I said to my... Okay. I'm not doing the same thing. I said to my step-sister when she said her husband does a radio show, too. I'm like, oh, in Nashville. That's cute. That is so cute, your little husband.

Next thing you know, he's interviewing the president. Yeah, that's Clay Travis's wife, who is my step-sister. But many, many years ago, you could look at things and say, you know what, I wouldn't take his portfolio over Dan's. There's no way. Got the step-sister, though. They were playing Harbaugh's press conference in the stadium after the game, and he was talking about his dad and how they were going to ride home together,

because I guess he was there. And listening to him talk about his dad, it sounded cool, like a relationship that you would like to have with your dad. But Shottie, it's the inverse. Well, he's dead. Or just whenever he brings up, Marty, it's like, yeah, I bet you do have his card in your pocket.

I want you able to keep this same energy all year. We will. Anyway, his leaders are Ray Lewis's non-air- I don't doubt that. Did we ever, even today, would we do the bet of we will do a broadcast for free at our one guy's house. Yeah, we never locked it. I'll lock it.

If they're under 500? No, I think it has to be under 10 wins, and we're doing it. That's what he offered. Well, I know, but I was offering right before the season under 500. Would he take that? Get back to us, Plum. Where am I? Letty. Ray Lewis, all the pens and Shottie's visor,

and the Whiskey Tango Yard Fountain at his old duplex he was oddly obsessed with. Yard fountain. His parents can't wish him a happy birthday because they're dead. But we can probably fill that void today with this shoutout. I feel like that didn't need to be in there. I love you guys. This is from Kara, the ex-lesbian pansexual therapist that thinks Dan is hot. Nice.

That is great. What a day this has turned out to be. I would like to play that. Community Mechanical Presents on this day in history. And we would like to say we'll mention Community Mechanical tomorrow as well. If Brandon Aubrey chooses tomorrow is his day for a show. Got to see what he wants. But CommunityDFW.com, they are our HVAC company.

Actually, there was a couple guys who were here last night at the game because they chose a game for their sit-in. because if you end up getting a new system from community, they will hook you up with a sit-in as well for a show, maybe down at the studio, maybe here at the den. But they're, I don't know, what else can you say about them? So many testimonial letters have rolled in with community. They are really, really established as an awesome company to deal with.

If you want to get a few different estimates. We've heard of the blind estimate. Go ahead, do it. We've heard of dudes. They don't even tell their significant other that, hey, I'm going to get a sit-in. Or, hey, this is helping out the dumb zone. And they still emerge victorious. CommunityDFW.com, you can call or text to hit them up at any time.

469-667-7-290. Someone with community will get back to you quickly. 469-667-290. So today is Monday, September 14th on this day in 1905. Have you ever heard of Tinkers to Evers to Chance, Blake? That is like this legendary double-play duo in the early 1900s. If you have ever read anything about baseball and by your blank stare, I would say that you have not. You would have, if you're a baseball historian, that was a famous.

Tinkers to Evers to Chance. You've heard of just a few things from back then. Shoeless Joe Jackson. Ty Cobb, Tinkers to Evers to Chance. Anyway, on this day in 1905, Joe Tinker and Johnny. Ever's had a fist fight on the field. On the field. It was because

Evers took a taxi to the park leaving his teammates at the hotel. Anyway, whatever the origin was, they were thought of as part of the greatest double-play duo ever and good friends, all that kind of stuff. After this fist fight,

tinker and Evers did not speak to each other again for 33 years. Dang. So in 1905, if I was to tell the average generation thing I have ever heard of my life. If I was to tell the average baseball fan, hey. So those guys are the best. Like my grandfather. I have a grandfather who went like 36 years without talking to his brother.

They just like kind of got crossways one day. Fuck it. Uh, 1999. Greatest debut by a freshman running back in college football history. What year? 1991. Is it Barry? Aggie.

Oh, Leland McElroy. Greg Hill. Ah, Greg Hill. Two hundred and twelve yards rushing. Is he still an NFL coach? 30 carries. They beat LSU 45 to 7. On this day in 1994, Bud Seelig, the baseball commissioner, announced that the 1994 season is over.

Can I give you a Greg Hill note? Yeah. Hosted a show on the fan with Kevin Scott. That's an interesting note. I thought you might have ever. I saw Kevin Scott at our, he's in our fantasy league. I almost asked you about that the other day. Yeah, I saw him.

Does he live around here? I don't know. He was always so cool to me. but I haven't seen him in 20. He's a great dude. Cut. He was always a little different. He's strong.

What a guy. I think he may, last 18 years, he might have gotten in some weird stuff. I don't really want to vouch for the entire life. There's no way. It was very sweet to me. Happy baby pose with anyone. And they didn't want it. Boy.

Maybe that's tomorrow. I mean, obviously maybe, but tomorrow, the rest of the NFL college. Did Sean talk? Yeah. Yeah. Not doing much to silence the haters. Well, let's let him start on the road just so he's got an easy time. I know what? Up is down. Who knows?

It's hilarious. This day in 1994, Bud Seleague, he announced the 1994 baseball season would be over. 34 days after the Major League players walked off the job, he then announced clearly the Cleveland Indians would have won the World Series, so we will give them the title. Even though they weren't leading their division? On this day in the year 2003, It was an NFL record rushing performance by Jamal Lewis.

Wow. Against the Browns? Against the Browns. 295 yards rushing. So if you were concerned about the Cowboys, don't be that worried about it. They didn't give up 295 yards. On this day in 2015, a 14-year-old boy brought a clock to his school, and then he gets arrested.

I don't know where Just trying to come up with new ways to tell time You know Ahmed Mohammed The clock was like in a briefcase With wires And uh

Green liquid Ticking and a blinking red lights Yeah Yeah Not a bright day for MacArthur High School No but honestly We got a state senator out of that

Because Beth Van Dune Or Dine has been She was the mayor. In Simmons language, Bill Simmons were dining on that shit for since then. She bossed that situation. I think she also drove up to the event where they had to draw the prophet Mohammed. I say that like a whiskey tango, but she was big on that too. His name was Mohammed.

Ahmed Mohammed. Well, most common name in the world. Read a book. I sold defamation suit for the last place I worked. Really? Yeah. We're big on Clockboy over there. We get sued less than your last place of employment.

Yeah. Well, yeah. His dad was in instigator, though, too. We would find out. Oh, big time. Big time. He had a politics dad. And you know what's funny about that story?

Like Obama met the kid because it was like, all right, he got a rough deal here. And then you try to find out what happened to him. And it's like, no, he just kind of disappeared. He went to guitar and went to work at some tech company. over there like that's right 14 years old and okay I don't know that we have like he's 25 now where is he

and this is my thing that I say this all the time I understand it's the end of the show we can do politics great work but if you want to talk about it I'd love to what are they are they supposed to get into football or not get into football do you want them to assimilate there weren't fucking cowboy hats

going to games it looked like a great time but you don't but there is a which is it anyways it doesn't matter and one wedding on this date uh 2008 star trek actor george to kai at the age of 68 marries brad altman brad brad how can a guy named george marry a guy that doesn't make sense he married a guy huh it was in space they allowed that there who would have thought uh 20 excuse me september 14th this day dumb zone history. In 2021, I'm going to trump your, I'm going to trump a name here.

Well, no, I'm not. I'm going to save it. Dan likes when celebrities gain and lose a bunch of weight for roles. This provided Dan's wife's love of Brandon Frazier. Oh, yeah. Well, he didn't do it for a role, though, did he? Yeah. He just happened to be fat and issues.

Both those things are true. She loved him when he was like Tarzan. He has major back problems. from having, probably from having to try to get in shape for roles. And once he got fat and people felt bad, they cast him in a roll where he could get fatter. Really? Well, they were like, all right, you're here, you know? Yeah.

I was probably talking about, like, Rob McElhaney. Yeah. Jonah Hill would be a good example, but he gets mad about it every time. He does get pissy. Did he do it for a roll? Because he's going to beat you up. Like, no, but I bet he lost weight. De Niro would do that.

A ton of weight for Raging Bull. Christian Bale. Yeah, Christian Bales. The most extreme one I've ever seen. Did McConaughey do it for the gay movie? The Giles Pires Club. The gay movie. You knew what I meant.

You should have gone with the AIDS movie, and then I would have. That could have been Tom Hanks, though. Also on the show in 2021, John Lott. John Lott used to be the... Oh, the big fat belly? How's that nothing like the fishing coach? Is it the fat belly coach? No.

Well, he used to be the bench press guy at the combine. He'd be yelling at guys to do it. Then he was the strength and conditioning coach for the Chargers, so he had a lot of Herbert stories. On hard knocks. And we let it off with saying that your voice kind of sounds like this one guy that we call Lubbock Fishing Guy. And after we played him the audio, his response was, that's bull piss.

Yeah. Keeping all of our granddad's alive a little bit. Me and Mino were like... Bull piss. Do you guys grandpa say bull hockey? No, you would just say bullshit. Bull hockey. Is hockey used as poop?

That word interchangeable? I find out. I like to find out. It took a long time for us to get it in. We had a fit. You know, we didn't want to lose it. With his face, the line was going to break on us. I haven't seen anything like it.

I'm pretty excited because I still want to know what it is. That's the Lubbock Fish guy. And he got mad at being compared to him? Come on, man. That guy sounds great. I think I've got his voice on my model if anybody would like him to weigh in. Your AI? Yeah, I modeled that one.

It's fun. In 2022, we used to do this at the station, or at least Dan did. So they would offer flu shots, free flu shots. shots. And on this day in 2022, Dan got one live in studio. And a very nice lady was giving the shots these days. Her name was Maria, and Dan was

very taken by her. Very nice moment until... Do you remember this at all? I think she said I was real old. She then goes to Dan and says, just confirming that you're under 65. It was

something crazy. I thought it was crazy. But it made me looking mirror and say, you know what? Let's get the game day. com. You proclaimed this was Dan's worst moment. Yeah.

I remember seeing it on his face. Yeah. It was real. He might have been lighter or something than he is now and looking sick. But it doesn't matter when a woman, especially like, you know, attractive or not, she's like an interprime

woman. Whatever they say carries like 10 times more weight. Oh my gosh. You realize. you're like, oh, God. Even this one could be troubled. Who is the traffic? Oh, Becca.

Have I ever told you this story? I probably have. That once I, this could have been pre-facial hair, and then I started growing some facial hair. And like Becca, who I knew just hated me. I just felt it. I don't know. You know, some people you know the way they treat you.

They don't like you. And I could see it. I could see why she would hate someone like me. If she listened to me, you're probably not on board. But I knew. Not everybody can understand the high level of which I, you know, the tight rope on which I walk. Anyway, I had started kind of growing some facial hair, trying to just cover up my abhorrent-looking face. And we were getting on the elevator.

She's like, hey, I like your beard. Oh, my God. That was like, I mean, it stands out to I remember that. like this person who I think doesn't like me, she wouldn't want to say anything nice about me ever, commented positively on my appearance. No reason to do that. And there was no looking back.

There was never going to be another day that a lady didn't see me without facial hair. You know what's messed up is... So this whore gave me the flu shot. And again, maybe it's not messed up. It all comes out, again, in the wash. It's better. Women don't get their bottoms slapped at work, et cetera.

We have lost the confidence that can be built by a compliment from a stranger. I told you guys we were at the Broncos game. I saw a lady who was about our age and her hair was incredible. And she had like a two-year-old and a five-year-old. He just wanted to say, hey, that looks really cool. You nailed that today. But I just thought that's how I end up on Denver, Colorado TV, getting thrown down the 300s, beat me in my pickings jersey.

Yeah, her husband comes and kicks your ass. Yeah. I'm like, dude, I don't know. It meant a lot to my buddy when a lady said something to him about his beard. And then final thing on this day on the show in 2022. Robert Sarver was fined and suspended by the NBA. Yeah. That's the son's coach?

The son's owner. Which then led to this Kemp's bin. This is at a funeral, which then turned into, what began as a eulage. and then turn into a roast. Yeah. I forget who this is about, but... It was another guy he owned the team with, like just another money guy, business guy,

that they partied together a lot. Yeah, he talks about their party yacht. This is the son's owner, Robert Sarver. Dick had the boat. Dick, that was right about when he bought the boat. Yeah. The boat was a bordella. I mean, let's just be honest about it.

People are laughing. The boys used to park that thing off the beach there in Cabo. There was, what was that, what was that, the office? They parked that thing off the office in Cabo and they'd come in and bring them back. Of course, Dick could great, Dick could took great pleasure in knowing that he could get the girls before you guys could. I mean, he really took pleasure in that, that he could out maneuver you guys. But I remember what time were. What he's talking about here is your.

dad was really prideful of the fact that he could get chicks and go nail them before you could. Like the dad is out just hunting chicks with a boat park. They're in the same bar complex, trying to see who can

get these women back to the yacht first. And this is at the guy's funeral. You know your dad. Poonhound. But I remember one time we're we had a little boat in San Diego and I'm driving with the family and the kids. My kids are like maybe 8, 10 to 12. We're driving in the harbor. We passed Dick's boat. I stopped and go, hey, I'd never been on the boat.

Oh, come on. So bring the kids on board. That was not a good idea. Start walking around. It looks a little wild. There's a lot of people on there, a lot of drinking. I think, yeah, take a look around. So I bring the kids in. First room I open, there's two on one going on. I think it's probably a good idea we'd get the kids off the boat. So we got off the boat. Never went on the boat after that. Just on a regular day. Like his kids are there now? Just on a day.

Yeah. Two on one. Just out of it to flippantly say that. Like it's... He'd walk in first door, two on one. And wasn't there a Steve Nash sock involved? The guy at least joked that he was jerking off into Steve Nash's socks. Actually, he was having sex with sons girls.

And the sons were as gross of an organization. Yet, it's all about the Mavs and pants DJ. Like, we're the only ones who were horny. Other birthdays today, Michael Crabtree is 39. Michael Trabtree. Who had more receiving yards? Michael Crabtree or Dez? Crabtree played longer.

It's Dez. Give me Crabtree. It feels like it should be Crabtree because of the length, but he never had. in years like Dez did. Now, touchdowns would never even be a debate. Des was a touchdown over yards. It is Dez by 500 yards. 7499 to 7506.

Have you seen the trailer Blake for the Deshawn Jackson documentary? Are we over-docked? Well, that's just made me thinking, I mean, maybe, but I would watch something about Michael Crabtree. Oh, yeah. But Deshawn Jackson was a type of dude who, were 12 or 13. And here's what happened. Dan, his older brother, I believe it's his actual blood brother, but these blended families, they can be very far apart in age. His older brother

was a camp body in the NFL, got cut, and I think Deshaun was like six, seven maybe, and that, his brother filmed everything from then on. So it's like boyhood style. They have everything he ever did athletically. His brother was filming. Huh. And is like a camera guy now. It looks cool. That sounds awesome. Because, you know, he's from

he's from like the hood of hoods. He's from like deep, deep south central or Compton. He's affiliated. It's always kind of the problem with him. I've hung around those areas. You have? What a Lucy? Let's see.

Deshawn Watson, 31 today. Happy birthday. Indeed. We got you Todd Munkin. Well, I think the funniest thing's not going to happen, which would be him kind of playing well and them extending him. NFL's pretty hard. We forgot about that part.

Yeah, quarterback especially. Brown's quarterback, Tripoli. Larry Brown is 86. Let me push Larry Brown. out of that show. The NBA Hall of Fame coach. Oh, okay. SMU.

SMU. There's got to be a litany of Kempspins around this Larry Brown, too. Just violation after violation after violation. It's a Blue Chip's character. Jimmy Butler is 37. Did he hook up with Rachel Nichols in the bubble? Yeah. Well, I've used it.

Dan Cortese. is 59 Hawkeye Who wanted Bob wanted him as a guest I couldn't I didn't even know

who Dan Cortezzi really is That's the only time I MTV guy right Yeah And Hawkeye But somehow pulled a prank Where he

Pretended to be him Did you book it? No I booked Jack Handy Somebody else booked Dan Cortezzi And we had Jack Handy on the show? Like we had four interviews with Hawkeye pretending to be somebody. He's good.

Very unsettling. Walter Canig is 90. He is Chekhov from Star Trek. So he's like, why do you got to get married to a guy on my birthday? Come on. Bill Burbitt. You ruin it. Sam Neal is 79, Jake.

How did he just died? Who, did he? Says here, Jurassic Park. Yeah. He died in July. The dumb zone has just learned about the passing of Sam Neal. We now have a moment of silence. Nah, because it was around the time I went to Hawaii.

I wanted to do Blake's bid. Mine. Blake's bid is just messing up everything. John Bowser Bauman is 79. If he's not dead, he was. was in Shah-na-na. You ever hear of that? Maybe.

You? Is it like Barbershop Quartet? I don't know. It was kind of like, you know how you say Greek? It felt like they came around when Greece became a thing, and it was like a 50s-type knock-off thing, and they looked 50s-ish. Oh, that's awful.

Like you said, in the 80s, there was kind of a 50s fetish, popping up. But this is, yeah, that's awful. I mean, you know what it reminds me of is like, how old are you? 40. When we were in, like, high school, there was a brief big band revival. Very funny in retrospect. Oh, okay.

Kind of like the swingers era. Brian sets her orchestra. Squirrel Nut Zipper. I'll go to zone riot. The Cherry Poppotties. Yeah, I was like, what the, is everyone dressing like we're 100 years ago all of a sudden? Swingers. Bro, I was in.

This is it. Don't get us in trouble on a big day. He would always do a bum, blah, blah. I just wanted to hear it. He was the bubble. He was the one guy. If you've ever seen Sean Nana, you knew who he was. It's bit music.

Yeah. It's bit music. Actress Faith Ford is 62. She was in Murphy Brown. Hot. Rapper Nas is 53. Esco. Now, he's not Lil Nas.

No. His kid is Lil Nas? No. No. No. Director Bong June Ho is 57 from the movie Parasite. Robert Herchavec is 63 from Shark Tank. Oh, yeah.

He's a little guy. I'm waiting for him to pop on billions because billions pops on a lot of people I don't know, but you can tell, ooh, this is someone in the industry. But occasionally they have Q. been on a couple times. They've had Damon, Damon John, I think. He's one of the sharks.

Anyway, just a little... Update on your Billions Path. A billion season five update if you weren't worrying about where I was. I think he left his wife for his dancing with the Stars partner, too. Oh, look at you. Kim Johnson.

Oh, who did? Robert. Robert. Yeah. Damn, how come everybody... Gets to leave their wives for their dancing with the stars partner but me. Taking dancing lessons. Any Henry birthday or Blake birthday? Did you send me anything?

Henry wants the microphone. We'll go with one that's very important for the Soros. Zach Hample is 49. He's the YouTuber that has collected more than like 9,000 baseballs. not only that dan uh this is a great one because uh we've done zach hample content on the show many times he is uh hated because he would do things like use connections to get tickets and like remember they had a game that was like just for vets or something it was like at one of the it was at one of the military bases.

And he used, he posted, like, is there any vets who would like to take me to the game and, like, paid a military member to take him to the game so that he could get a foul ball from this military game. He's been at odds before. That sounds like a smart guy. With Marlins' man. Oh. Both two guys who are, like, have the money somehow to be at these things, and they run into

each other and have little, you know, convention center style. dust-ups. Zach Hample, like, will elbow kids out of the way. He's that guy. Clearly autistic. And, like, never should have been

somebody people knew who he was because he's like, I don't understand the problem. I just go get baseballs no matter what. I love it. Did you know he's written, like, three books on it?

Why not? Yeah. How to get ball. Our dumb's on birthday of the day is Haviland Morris. She is an actress, or at least was. And she was in a movie I would like us to watch for the show some point. She was in 16 candles.

Yeah, it comes up a lot, and I've never seen it. She was the hot and 16 candles. How many times are she raped in the movie? Should I spoil the end? I mean, the end is pretty much rape. That's what I'm saying. Anybody else here seeing 16 candles? Do you recall thinking of his rape or?

Anyway Yeah, we'll watch it Let's watch it at some point Most of the love Let's watch it right after the show Right today Most of the romantic depictions In the 80s movies

Involves some level of deception Yeah, well it was she got drunk Somebody's being tricked The hot guy let The nerd Sleep with his passed out drunk girlfriend Because he helped her Him hook up with

What was the Red head's named. Molly Ringwald? Yeah. Thank you, Danny Brown. So somehow, like, that was the deal. And then at the end, she kind of liked it. She was like, eh.

And this is what I grew up with. This is what I grew up. You never had a chance. Yeah, it's not my fault that I need a girl like Belichick's. It's society. Born on this day now dead. Clayton Moore, one of the most first famous Clayton's. He was the lone ranger.

Okay. Margaret Sanger, born on this day now dead. Margaret Sanger, okay, I read about her this morning and then I have a conclusion. So she opened the first birth control clinic in the United States. She founded Planned Parenthood and was instrumental in the development of the first birth control pill. So what conclusion did I draw? Good. First birth control clinic.

She found a Planned Parenthood. You concluded that she was a... Like a progressive? She developed the first birth control pill. She loved to do it. Oh, okay. She's just like, I just don't want to get pregnant all the time, but I want you to rail me.

Again, again. Again. But I would love to just get, yeah. Just treat me, you know what I mean? But she's like, I can't. Right. Because this stuff's illegal.

If she aborts, she comports. She had a controversy? What is it? I think she was a eugenist. Ooh, eugenics. Frankly, when you get involved, you're playing with fire there, right? In the 1920s when her work was gaining momentum,

eugenics was a popular movement. Where else in the world at that time? Was it a popular movement? I'm going to be a huge jerk here and tell you guys that I am two minutes away from having to walk out of the door. This is the longest we've ever gone. I'm a huge jerk. I hear his closing remarks.

I know. Winston Churchill, also a... So he just keeps reading the thing. I'm not having a kid. Yeah, what's he supposed to do? Born on the stay, still born on this day, not dead, Amy Winehouse.

Then we have dead on this day still dead. I give you the first man to die from an auto accident, Henry Bliss. That's funny. We have Fred DeLucah. He was the subway founder, died on this day in 2015, two months after Jared was arrested.

two months after. Yeah, this is very much like Bart Giamatti dying right after he came down hard on Pete Rose. Also died on this day, Patrick Swayze. And the biggest of all, 2021, Norm MacDonald died on this day. Damn. And that's what happened on this day in history. It's really weird to die before people get to see you get old. You have 45 seconds.

We have to do the photo quickly afterwards. She can be curious. Which is brought to us by Frankel and Frankel. Personal Injury Attorneys, hopefully if you're driving to wherever you've got to get to very quickly. You don't get side-swiped. And you hit a mom in a banana costume. Or weird-a-kid or anything like that. But if you do, it's 214, then dial all threes.

The Frankles are awesome. We're actually hooking up with their charity. More to come on that later in the week. But as far as our payoff goes for the football league. But they're great people, and they really do work for the little guy. Frankelfirm.com. And, you know, when you're in that iron lung or you're barely able to breathe and you're calling them

because you're stuck between whatever, mention the dumb zone. And your two gasps of breath. Anyway, here's Evan. Closing remarks. Evan does not strike me as the kind of guy that's going to go on for 20 minutes here. I'd read that. First, just thank you, Lauren, for getting this all set up.

That's right. Happy birthday to Evan. Happy birthday. Thank you. And it was a lot of fun. I really like the den. Heck yeah. Everyone said, I keep hearing about how small it was, but it's not small.

and that's what she said we love hearing that yeah and uh i have one movie trope um if you ever notice on tv and movies someone gets to a computer they got a transfer files no one uses a mouse they just get right on the keyboard and just start pounding away that's a great call interesting they need you to know that computering is being done like they're hard coding every command right yeah they're always like having to do C-colon backslash run

yeah terminal yeah do you know yeah they're in the terminal that's a good point we approve that's about it Lauren do you have anything well she lives in Manhattan and they're from like I don't even know

if Abilene Holly you have to be one of the only people from that town that has ever moved and lives like it's just very funny to me when you meet people that went that far. Actually, you know the guy that was on the memes that holds the signs? Cardboard sign guy.

Yeah. That's like, Glock should be free. He's from our hometown, too. Okay. But I'm too old. I didn't know him. Okay. All right.

Know your meme.com. Adios, mofo. We got to go before this becomes a zoo. See you guys for drinks later. Thank you for watching my video. Subscribe and type for my name if you want to watch more of my video.