The Flop House - Ep. #211 - Godzilla (1998)

Episode Date: August 20, 2016

At the request of charity contest winner Erik North, we discuss the classic (?) 1998 version of Godzilla. Meanwhile Dan tries to explain Dangerous Liaisons, Elliott surprises no one by reading a Godzilla-centered magazine, and Stuart gives you some advice about how to get milk. Wikipedia synopsis for Godzilla. Movies recommended in this episode: Tickled Hitchcock/Truffaut Everybody Wants Some! Harlan County U.S.A. MAXFUN MEETUP at HINTERLANDS.

On this episode we discuss Godzilla 1998 Well, I can't get better than that That's a blue oyster cult song Hey everyone and welcome to the Flophouse, I'm Dan McCoy. We gotta say there was a great opening Dan thanks. As you know I'm Stu, the Stu man Wellington. And a classic pass from Dan to Stu and then on to Elliot Kaelin. This is shaving out to be a textbook a stuff all right out of the opening gates. What looked to be a classic game. It looks like, nope, that's enough of a point loss that we're not going to get them

at all. You know sports. I want to, in case someone was confused, they were going through the stuff on their iPhone or their, what they use and thought like, maybe this is that YouTube album that got put on everything. Maybe that's what I'm listening to. Yeah, it's a real topical, Dan. It looks like four years ago.

I'm just trying to figure out a thing that people might have in their phones. Oh, okay, sure. But instead, they'll listen to a podcast. Oh, McCaffee Virus Screening. No. Why are you making fun of him? as Viches leaves you made him a baby. Dan, it's the soft bigotry of low expectations. Because we each play a part in this podcast.

I'm the guy who busts your balls. Okay. You were the guy who's supposed to be in charge, but you're always goofing up and steward is the goof up who's always goofing up. I'm the moon boy. Okay. Like devil dinosaur and moon boy. Yeah, or no, from a song, I said fire.

Oh, okay. Which, oh, right, right, right, the gesture type character. There's so many characters in those books. I can't keep them straight. I'm just, yep, you're too busy learning about actual history. That's what exactly the door exactly what I was going to say. I thought it was just because you were moaning us right now. And I'm making jokes with my butt crack. I'm not getting carried tight. I don't know why the microphone is picking up what you're saying

with your butt up to it. Well, once you practice your gym carry impression long enough, you can get some really interesting butt sounds. A regular ass ventora. Anyway, Dan. Again, this but sounds regular as mentor anyway Dan again this is a podcast where we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it and tonight was a night where we did a contest winner what contest is this and who won the contest the try to answer without looking at your phone right no I can't okay and why are you honest this uh... so this was the pot contest, the charity contest that we did where we were raising money for suicide prevention and everyone who donated got entered into a lottery and they could pick out a movie,

like one random person got to pick out a movie. Okay, that was nice. And what movie did they pick? Well, the winner who I just nap out on my phone. Okay, name is Eric North. Oh, the Eric North. From the film North. Yeah, that's right.

Elijah Woods biggest hit. Bruce Willis is biggest hit. The movie that Roger hated, hated, hated it. I gotta say, watch it as a kid. That was fine. Yeah, huh? Now toys, I watched that as a kid didn't care for it. Even as a kid, I was like, who is this for?

I don't understand who this is for. Movie toys are North. Kind of both, but really more toys. The part where they pretend to be doing an MTV music video in order to break into the toy building, what was that all about? Now, dangerously, Azons, I watched that as a kid wasn't supposed to shouldn't have really like that part Where I'm with her and took her top off though? I thought we were just talking about what thing movies have been saw as a kid I guess that's what this podcast is about now. Welcome to the kid cast. This is a no adults allowed podcast about movies for kids

So Dan you were talking about dangerously, azeons John Based on the real kid is based on the real killer. It was based on the book, Laisons Dangerous. Let's just call it Dangerous liaisons. There's a Stephen Freer's joint. It's George Ernie's iron. It was the...

That didn't happen. So it sounds like a real action thriller. Oh, yeah, it was the dangerous is this Steve. It had a canna Reeves action hero. Okay, extraordinaire. Sure. There was a sword fight with a star of chain reaction with Morgan Freeman, his biggest role. It was it was an action movie in that there was a lot of action like car chargers and like shoot them up. No, did any action? Did anyone pick up like a steampunk time bomb

and go like, he's gonna blow and then throw it at Napoleon and he was like, zoot alours and then he exploded. Yes. And his guts were everywhere. And they were like, we were having Italian food for dinner. Mm-hmm.

And they're like, well technically he's Corsican. That's right. That was the nerd character, of course, yeah, nerd character in that movie. Yeah, played by, uh, why can't I remember his name? I play as nerds in every season. Thank you. Eddie Deason Beatles expert Eddie Deason. Eddie Deason. God bless you. Wherever you are. Don't you hate it when you need to fill up your car with regular in, but all they have is Deason. Yeah. So Dan, this contest, wherever you are. Don't you hate it when you need to fill up your car with regular in, but all they have is decent.

Yeah. So, Dan, this contest, where your partner goes, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he drive around. It's a good, Eddie, decent. Thanks. I'll look here. Let's hear Arvid. Do all the famous nerds.

I don't remember Arvid from head of the class. Yeah. What about the other Arvid, you know, I'm just clar class. Yeah. Thanks. What about the other Arvinds, you know? I'm just clarifying. Yeah, yeah. I remember that he was on head of the class. I don't remember anything else about him. Then do your Howard Hesmond impression. That's pretty good.

Hey, it's me, Dr. Johnny Fever. That's pretty good. What about Billy Conway? This should be super fucking easy, Alton. Come on. Hey, it's me, Dr. Johnny Fever. No, it's easy. Is he a vampire?

No, it was. He also, Johnny Fever. Dan, this Billy Conley impression has raised way more questions than an answer. Put on a pot of coffee, Stuart. We're not going to vent who we're eating this out. So wait, why did he say it the same way as the other guy said it, Elliott? Why did he say, hey, let me look at come on. He tried to get her attention for already listening.

Look at this board of pictures with string connecting them that I put up. You'll see that it all happened on the same night tonight. What could it mean? So Dan Eric North, he chose a movie for us to watch. And what movie was it a good movie? Perhaps he sought to spare us and showed us the devil and Daniel Webster. He did claim that he was going to try and break our brains by recommending that we watch either Castle Freak, taking a Palomant 2, 3 or his or Friday. We would give, 3, or his, your Friday. I mean, we would have-

We would have. Give those as just choices. Break our brains. I mean, that's what we watch for pleasure. Yeah. But instead, he gave us negative choices, bad choices, and out of those, we ended up watching- We're the fire of the podcast, yeah.

And we selected one of those choices. See, we're just doing, can't see that I'm doing the extreme stretch for time. Motion to dance. We got to fill this bug, Ken. See you, Bob. R-E-R-E, our mission statement. We watched Godzilla, the Matthew Brotteric version.

Now, here's the thing I'm going to warn you guys. This podcast may go four or five hours, because I have so many memories associated with this movie and when it came out from... You lost your presenter to this movie, right? I mean, yes, but that's not what I was gonna talk about. Almost like, what was that? The Empire State Building and Godzilla later on?

Yeah, when Godzilla totally is having sex. No, Godzilla after tricking the military and destroying other in and i got that was my favorite scene in the whole fucking movie godzilla jumps on to a building turns around and gives the fucking helicopter's a look like or you know shoot me and then they try and shoot him and he just fucking jumps out of the way those missiles hit the Chrysler building and godzilla celebrates by out of the way. Those missiles hit the Chrysler building and Godzilla celebrates by penetrating the Empire State Building. Yeah.

He clutches it in an embrace and just arches his back an ecstasy and just roars to the skies as he experiences some kind of gargantuan reptile orgasm. Apparently. Clotting the interiors of the Empire State Building. Now, once again, the tallest building, oh, briefly, again, the tallest building with his radioactive seamen, I can only assume.

Very confused, you know, lizard. He reprodu his radioactive seamen, I can only assume. Very confused, you know, lizard. He reproduces asexually, he's apparently a man male that lays eggs. Well, here's the thing. They keep calling him a he, and that's sexist, because back then people were like, you can't have a girl Godzilla that would ruin my childhood.

Godzilla's a man only. So they keep calling him a kid. And Ken and Ken came along and proved that she could be a great Godzilla. Mm-hmm She would be a great Godzilla. She can do anything. Yeah, that's why they call doing anything McKinning McKinning and now when this movie came out and still I was a big Godzilla fan Yeah, when back then I was reading G fan magazine. What 90's? 1998 as Dan is at a couple times. I was 16 years old.

Yeah. Big Godzilla fan, I had seen all the Japanese originals many times. I hadn't seen all of the newer Japanese movies that were what are they called the high say or no the Millennium series I guess. But what are you gonna do? Anyway, and I remember reading an article in G Fan magazine

that was like rumors about, that had leaked about this new Godzilla movie and how terrible it was gonna be. And leaked designs of the monster and that Sony then was like, no, no, no, no, that none of that stuff is true and then it all turned out to be exactly true. I can only imagine that you were, you told your parents all about this article over dinner one night.

Probably, I mean, if I talked to them about anything. But then I remember, I see it's funny to me in this era that print is when print is dead, that there was once able to support something called G fan magazine. Well, it was a very, it's still around. Yeah, I mean, it's a pretty, I mean, back when I was reading it, it was on like kind of the cheapest newsprint. And I think it's only marginally better paper now. Like, it's always fan art covers and stuff like that. It's not, I mean, this is not a time, is it not like a time magazine publication?

This is not from, what's that big magazine publisher that does like Vity Fair and stuff? Conday NAS. Conday NASK, thank you. It's more Kunday nasty. And that is, that it's down and dirty, but there was a, it was always kind of like a publication by fans for fans, I assume.

But, I don't know. That was a publication by fans for, I don't know the, you know, the intellectual elite. The casual, the Godzilla, the cutest. It was amazing. For people in the Godzilla industry. It was an interesting thing. But I remember seeing the movie and being like,

all the stuff that was in those rumors were true and feeling like I had achieved a victory of some kind. And only now am I like, oh, but my money went to the people who made this movie. So why am I acting like I did something really good? Or like that was a victory that these rumors turned out to be true. But I remember the whole thing. I mean, I guess it just renewed your faith

in the journalistic integrity of G-Fan Magazine. Yeah, I'm like, these guys know what they're talking about. Yeah. This was the Watergate of Godzilla, and they totally got the story right. That's not like, at the time, fucking, what was that? Any cool news when they're like,

we saw an early version, we saw an early part of Santa Menace, and that shit was amazing. Best movie of all time, dude. Look, no, but they famously did that with fucking Godzilla. Like, oh, they did. The Aina cool around at the time. Yeah, like, yeah.

This was like a big thing, like Harry Noll's or Nolls or whatever. Harry Noll's. Harry Noll. Santa Rans. The Big Eazy. Harry Noll's. Oh, the Big Eazy. Amazing on movies that aren't very good.

It's really their genre pictures. It's even bite me down to your set to hang out for a day. I'll say it's the best movie ever. Yeah, like, yeah. Flown out to the premiere and like they had it on like the deck of the intrepid or something like that and like. Oh, hey, that's where the Daily Show last episode party was. Yeah.

Oh, you guys might have been the same fucking spot. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's spot. That's right. That's right, you brought her in Harry Null. Oh, if only in Hank Azaria and Devlin and Emoryk. And whoever the woman who was who was in this movie who we've never seen before. But so I didn't realize that about Harry Null. Is that sight still around?

Yeah, it still looks exactly like it did back in that. That's the best thing about it. There's a reason that that year's Gulitzer for Godzilla reporting didn't go to any cool news and instead went to G-Fan again. But but like I'm sure you guys remember the ad campaign where on like buses it would be like his foot is bigger than this bus and on sides of building is like he's taller than this building. They're trying to create mystery around Godzilla, a character who had been around at that

point for 44 years, like he was going to look different. But people get the time. Were you living in New York at the time? I was living in New Jersey still, but I was in New York a bit. I mean, that was what the age when I was taking on the weekends, I would take the train and just kind of were taking home.

You're taking home, one, two, three. All the, yeah. That's what I was doing in the end. I was still in New York. And the big thing I remember about this movie was that it was kind of like, at least that I can remember one of the last big gasps of like a big budget summer movie having like fast food tie-ins with a ton of commercials related to it.

Yeah, Taco Bell, how do you think that? It was Taco Bell, man. I didn't see this moving the theater, but I remember that like shitty poster so well. This was back when I would go see movies in the theater. I didn't think I was going to like because I wanted to support that type of movie like seeing spawn in the theater. I don't give a shit about spawn. I've never liked that comic, don't like the character. But it was like, what about the violator character?

He's kind of like the Joker if the Joker was also a demon. Now, if the Joker was a demon and pulled people's hearts out, but he also, I mean, wasn't very funny. Well, but there's a scene in the spawn movie, actually, where the violator is talking to spawn's daughter. And if I'm remembering correctly, he's holding a balloon in his hand. And his head deflates and the balloon inflates and vice versa.

And the daughter is just like, mom, there's a clown at the door. And no one questions that he's doing something super natural with his head. But anyway, I would, I would see spawn because it was like, they may never make another superhero movie based on a comic book if spawn doesn't do well. And now of course I'm missing superhero movies left

and right. They're too many. I definitely talk to people like guys who grew up with the spawn movie. And to this day or like the cape special effects are amazing. Well, you got to admit that, bro. And I'm like, I don't remember, but I guess it's fine. I wouldn't hit it. My journalistic integrity in this case is on the line.

I am amazing. You mean that they look as crazy and fake as Rob, as... Todd McFarlane's. You were about to say Rob life felt. No, but I knew that was wrong. I knew that was wrong, which was why it stopped. No, that's a good point. It was Todd McFarlane.

I saw this movie. I saw this movie. It was Todd Toy's. I saw this movie. It was Todd Toy's. I saw this movie. It was Todd Toy's. They actually had to change the name. It was Todd Toys. And then he was sued by whoever makes Barbie, Mattel or something, because they had a toy named Todd. Oh,

time. McFarlane has a bad history with being sued about names. Like he named that gangster Tony twist. He got sued by that hockey player. Oh, what about what about? He started the hockey players. Yes, he was named a gangster Tony Twister. Really. And he was sued by that hockey player. Oh, what about what about what he started the hockey players next to my twister? He named a gangster Tony Twister. Really? And he was sued by the hockey player and lost, I think. Now, what about Rob Layfield naming a character bedrock? And he had to cut.

Which is insane. And he had to change it to bedrock. Well, he also he was originally going to name the character Fred Flintstone's copy right. He had of our bear. I saw this. He was originally going to name the character Mickey Mouse. Hey, dude. I saw this movie. He was originally on the character Mickey Mouse. Hey, dude.

You saw what I saw this movie of all places in a movie. The last like what in college. There's what college did he go to? There's a major movie class where like, I mean, like I got introduced to like a lot of interesting movies through this class. Like in class, we watched Godzilla, the peacemaker, broken arrow, we watched a huge movie. We watched Simple Men, the How Harley movie, we watched Seven Beauties, we watched

interesting, we watched some weren't very good. Oh yeah, those movies in Godzilla, they're all the same. But the teacher just loved movies so much. He's like, let's all go see a movie as a class. It's like, it's Godzilla. That's what's out. So He's like, let's all go see a movie as a class. Oh, okay. It's nice. Go see Godzilla. That's what's out. And so he's like, he kept looking over and then he was just like cackling at it.

Like at every point. Yeah. This is great. Movies. It reminds me because I thought that class was the class equivalent of your video collection when you include the things your relatives give you as gifts. Yeah. All right. I've got the secure cursor set and this ignore Bergman set and then I've got,

and then I've got Jingle all the way. You're like, you're like, you like movies. There is nothing better than going to an old person's house and seeing their VHS collection of like five tapes and you're like, you know one of them shits is going to be Mrs. Doubtfire. No fucking question. My wife and I stay in a lot of them shits is going to be Mrs. Doudfire. No fucking question. My wife and I stay in a lot of Airbnb's and I love to look at the DVD selections that people have. That's awesome. Crazy.

Volunteers with Tom Hanks and John Candy. No one even remembered this movie existed. Why do you have a copy of White Night's starring Billy Chris Flingrigery? Because it's great. And, uh, or like the net, like, of course, old people are scared of the net. So this movie got zillis. Those were a lot of reminisces about when it came out. So I used to say this movie was a big deal for me as a kid because it's the first time I think I remember knowing a movie was going to be crappy ahead of time.

Yeah. And then seeing it and being like, that was garbage. I feel validated, even though I just spent money on this. Mm-hmm. So you were like an internet person way before the internet was back? Well, and this was back when the most internet I was doing was occasionally I am in with my friends on America online

sometimes, and trying to download porn without anyone finding out. Downloading that forever. One picture of Terry Hatcher and Aikin beneath a blanket. Sure, yeah, it would show nothing. Yeah, exactly. For some reason everyone was downloading it. Yeah, it's in a news group after all.

This is news. That's why it's the news group. A mother, I'm just learning the news. So news. I'm just, I'm just downloading the news about Asian nurse dot org I don't think they had dot org back then anyway, so Godzilla should we talk about all tracks dot Asian nerds? They call them otaku Asian nerds anyway Asian nurses. I don't know what they call them. Yeah

So let's talk briefly about the movie about we don't need to go through the whole plot in detail, because it's just a big stupid thing. I've got a Dylan movie. But it's a little... A lizard detects town, killing with 11. You just became the game rampage for a second. So we open with a title credit sequence that's not that different from the Godzilla from a couple years ago,

title credit sequence. But it's just stock footage of lizards and then stock footage of atomic explosions. Yeah, well, stock footage of old-timey nuclear tests. Yeah, yeah. But with overlaid footage of iguanas and Komodo dragons, and it's like the movie is like this, plus this equals Godzilla.

Get it, stupid. That's movie math. Yeah, like it expects you to be watching be like, oh my God, those innocent lizards are so close to that explosion. Somebody save them. And now a train is coming at us. Ah, we're fine.

Cowboy is firing out of the screen at us. Ah, I don't know. Your workers are leaving a factory. Ah, a kiss. Ah, it's like every single movie is last action hero. I don't know. You're workers are leaving a factory. Ah! A kiss. Ah! It's like every single movie is last action hero. In a way it is. So, Godzilla.

So Godzilla, so there's a Japanese fishing troller. It gets destroyed by some mysterious beast. Cut to, there's some, cut to Matthew Broderick is digging up worms and uninsurnaval. He's a researcher who is investigating how radioactivity makes worms a little bit bigger than they normally are. The State Department lands a helicopter in the Chernobyl radiation fields and takes them away to an island. It's a mighty good crop of radiation we're growing here in Chernobyl.

a crop of radiation we're growing here in Chernobyl. Ah, I got a 40-head radiation worms. Chernobyl farms are membas. Anyway, they take them to an island where there's a bunch of gods, Zilla footprints, and they say, we want you to investigate this thing. He says, I think this is a lizard made big from radiation, and everyone's like, what come on?

And I think it's damn pointed out. Maybe it's Stuart. Why did they get the guy who was an expert on things getting bigger by radiation? If they didn't think that this thing was a thing that got bigger by radiation. I mean, maybe he just knew the right people. I don't know, an epitism.

You wore a pretty cool hat for a while. He had like an early primitive version of a Kangle hat. Uh huh. Well, I think weren't Kangles popular in the 70s, Elliot? I wasn't alive then, I don't know. Okay. Okay. Here's what was popular in the 70s.

Disco, whipping inflation now. And wars in the stars. Not Vietnam though. That was not popular. Water beds. And water gets. Water beds. And if that water bed could spin around like it was

round go for it just do it because you know what I like while I'm having sex to be super dizzy and seasick it keeps it keeps me from ejaculating too soon because I'm vomiting. Mm-hmm. Your ejaculate actually goes back up inside of you because you're so nauseous. And it's a trip at all for us yeah.. And then we got another junior situation on our hands. Oh, no, I'm pregnant myself Anyway, so this is gonna have an explicit Adults only tag and I don't right? I tones as I just call my tones Now you're acapella group That just things about podcasts and downloadable songs and the iTunes users agreement now

Long story short. It's Godzilla. It attacks an American fishing boat and then it heads to New York City because it's a lizard with a dream to make it on the great white way of Broadway to be on the stage in front of them all. Their upturned face is looking at me as big as a tree, a really big tree, because I'm Godzilla. They'll have to open up the theater roof, only two days shows, maybe at night, but not if it's raining, which might be a problem because it's raining in every new year. Every scene in the entire movie, it's right all moving. I mean, not in the tropical areas. Which is where it normally reigns all the time.

That's true, except actually that when they're on... It was raining at the beginning when they're in the tropics, when he's getting the worms, but then like... Oh, when it's getting the worms, that's Russia. That's not the tropics. I mean, that's a pretty loose definition of the tropics. It's Chernobyl is the tropics in the same way that all people are brothers. We're not really. Well, it's because it looked exactly like the next scene where they're

supposed to be in the tropics. That's true, but it's raining everywhere. And I think Stuart, were you saying that you thought it'd be funny if one of Godzilla's powers is that he makes it rain everywhere? I assume that was one of his powers, yeah. He's like a roro Monroe storm of the X-Men. When you know a roro monro means fucking business, it starts storming her eyes cloud up and you're like, uh oh, hey, you know what's happened. I'm gonna go work on the blackbird. I'm for it. I don't need to deal with this. I know you just met him making me rain like you know, dollar dollar bills y'all. Yeah, yeah, that's God's illest power is that this movie is so successful that he just throws money at everybody right? Yeah,

he loses money from bad investments, bad spend, and then God's ill will just walk up to you in front of your house and be like, what's the most expensive thing you own on a buy it from you? Just to show that he can, just to show that he's worth more than you and the things that you most value are nothing to him.

There's literally things he could just buy when everyone's in front of you. Yeah, he burns in front of you. Yeah, yeah, sometimes it's your children. So the trick is he give him something that you want to burn. Like this giant thing, oh, we do, toke, toke for 20. I don't know, like a big bag of dog poop,

and then when it's on fire, he's like, I gotta put this out. I think it's dog poop all over his feet, and he doesn't even wear shoes. Yeah, because he doesn't have to burn something. You're the winner. You've won over Godzilla. Yep.

Has that feel? Turn the tables. And your face, you big dumb lizard man. Looks like the monsters become the monsters. So Smash Cut to New York City, we're introduced to Matthew Broderick's love interest, a former flame now working at a news place. And her name is Audrey, and she's played by an actress

that none of us recognize. Yeah, in a movie like Roland Emmerich movies are kind of fun because they usually have interesting casting compared to other action movies. They don't just like have like action stars they're like yeah I mean there were a ton of minorities in this movie right? Well okay maybe not that but they just like it's not like I'm gonna just put, you know, Action Star X in this movie. It's like, this movie's gonna start. That was a Matthew Bronerick action genre.

Action Star X was, when Malcolm X made that one action movie. Yeah. And this movie has like Harry Sheer in it and Hank Azaria. And Nancy Carr right in a small role. It's a Simpsons reunion. Yeah, and all these character actors show up, and then meanwhile, the lead lady is. John Rano, right?

Yeah, this was from the time when John Rano was in every fucking movie. And then the leading lady is someone that we don't know who she is. Yeah. I'm sure the internet will be like, dummies. She's famous.

She's in this, this, and this. Well, our brains only can contain so much information. And you know what, if we knew everything, we'd have no impetus to keep learning, and at that point, we might as well be dead. Yeah. Because learning is living, friends. So who's dummies now?

Learning is living. Exactly. Dummy. What a dummy. The syndication TV, syndicated TV show about a dummy, the talks. You guys remember that show? No, I know. It was on like Channel 9 in the New Jersey, New York area. It was one of these shows that was in syndication only like out of this world.

And you were like, does this show even mean this world that was on before my secret identity? It's the one with the girl from the whose dad's Nalien, right? Yeah, yeah. That was the one with the girl from whose dad's an alien, right? Yeah, yeah. That was the one where on her 16th birthday, she got a second magic power and she like tried them all out and then decided, she's good. She doesn't need to be able to fucking fly or something. I guess so. But like a show produced forced indication.

And I remember being like, this is a dumb show. Does this show actually exist? And then we went my family to Universal Studios Hollywood, actually though it was in Orlando. And then larger than life, on one of the fake studio sound stages, is a big what a dummy poster. Like those enormous banner posters. And I remember there was a poster for that, and a poster for Army of Darkness.

And I was like, well, I know which of these I want to watch. As a kid, I had not seen the Evil Dead movies, and so Army of Darkness was like, just seeing the poster. It was like, what the hell is this? I know dude I remember seeing that poster in like a fucking Sam goodie or something and being like How can I not be experiencing this right now? What is this? Stick it in my eyes right now. So there's interesting a character actors, etc

etc His ex his explain is a reporter. She works for Harry Sheerer, who is like a real full of himself, a anchor who hits on her, even though he's married. And Hank, his area is this cameraman named Animal, who's like, hey, a real New York guy, hey, talks like this. Oh my God, he does the best over the top New York performance.

That's something so 90s about this too, like it calls up into being a New York that I don't think has existed since the 70s maybe. Well, it's like, no, no, it's, it's, it's, it was like Roland Emmericks like, no, no, no, more New York, please. It's the same way that in Superman Returns, there's that cabbie who's like,

Hey, there's a Superman in the sky. Well, what's this all about? It's like, come on, dude, like, there had that cab a Superman in the sky. Well, what's this all about? And it's like, come on, dude. Like, there had that cabbie died 30 years ago. It's this special New York of the 90s. Where's the West Indian cabbie who does not care about what's happening? He's got a lot of this fucking,

he's been a lot of places. I mean, he won't get off his damn phone the whole ride. Oh, I didn't say that. But the, this is the, this is, I mean, this I'm gonna get serious for a moment guys. Sure, okay. This is a very specific New York. And this is the post Giuliani safe,

but not sure exactly how to deal with that. I was at safe. There's a fucking giant lizard on E-man. I guess so safe, but pre 9-11, New York. And like, this is the New York that, that like, this is the, get like I said, this is the New York I used to go into as a high schooler just by myself.

And my parents were like, yeah, that's fine. You can walk around New York by yourself. That's okay. Whereas when I was a kid, I don't think they would have felt that way in the 80s. But it's before, like there was this feeling of like, New York, whatever, everything's great all the time. There was still that attitude,

but it was before September 11th, which happened when I was at NYU, when I was a junior, I guess. So like this New York that I very briefly knew was a young adult, which was like, our problems are over. Except the big problem is that things aren't as gritty as they used to be.

What happened to being afraid in New York, and then suddenly like that New York went away and I'm much scarier in a lot of ways New York suddenly happened, and everyone was like, oh, whatever happened to that New York from the 90s, where everything was okay all the time. Like, the gods will exist in that New York. Like the idea, they mentioned the World Trade Center bombing in it, which happened to like, was like what, six or seven years before,

or, I don't remember what year that was, but like, it felt very like watching the movie now. It's, I wouldn't say it's slightly less fun to see New York buildings get destroyed except it's totally not true. It's slightly less fun, but it's still pretty fun at times. I mean, it's less fun because it isn't done interestingly or in any way that doesn't look like they're the helicopters are doing a fucking trench run on the Death Star. Yeah. So these buildings that I guess are about 10 feet apart, like the street, like, it does that time make it look like New York is like dark city, just this like labyrinth of skyscrapers.

Not as good looking as dark city. No, not at all. Or like all the streets are like old European goat paths that have been built up and there's no space between the bill. You can just run your laundry line between these midtown skyscrapers. But it feels very weird watching it and being like, come on guys, like let's not pretend this giant lizard running around is going to be that big a problem. Like there's really bad stuff that's going to happen.

And I don't know exactly where, like I wasn't going in much difficulty that was like, it's this mythical New York that like just existed for a moment and they're still throwing in old timing New York. Like, like the old guy on the pier who's fishing and you're like, oh man, this guy's gonna catch Godzilla and no shit, he totally catches the Godzilla. Well, here's when Godzilla makes his appearance in New York, exactly, is that an old man waddles down the dock. Here's the thing about this movie. It is so, for a movie made in 1998, this is, I feel like this is a movie

let's like, BM, like before Matrix. Also, it's a piece of shit, but like, it's like, I feel like the Matrix, after that, it was a piece of shit. But like, it's like the, I feel like the Matrix, after that it was harder to do a movie that was so like goofy old-fashioned in that. It's like, everything's moving fast. Here's a joke scene, joke scene, joke, scene, joke. Uh-oh, this cute old man's gonna go down

at the end of the dock and start fishing and these two bums are like, you'll never catch anything, ah-ha-ha. And he throws his lure in with the bobber, whatever the thing is. Like two seconds later, it gets pulled from him. And he's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, and this line snaps.

And then I'll, First off, don't portray fishing unrealistically, dude. It takes fucking forever. It's a lot of sitting around, pretty boring. If the first time I threw my lure in, I call it a fucking zilla right away, I'd be doing that shit every day, man. And here's the other thing though.

It's raining all the time. That guy is a fine man for the blue. Yeah. We're going out in the rain to fish. But like that this, he just... His wife probably passed away. He's just trying to find a way to pat like to fill his days. He's trying to do a lot of the job.

I mean, he just shrunk down to the dock who are making fun of them. He's just waiting for the day when he falls and breaks his hip and he knows it's time for him to go. You know, and he can just get into that bright white light. Because otherwise, he's got to take his own life. And he's a Catholic. He's not going to do that. That's what I'm hoping for.

He's going to be hoping that these fish will like pull him into the water and then he'll slowly drift away. And it's kind of like falling asleep. And going home. You know, he's he knows. He filled the weed on his hands as he returns to his family farm. As he's walking down that dock just hoping he's going to slip and hit his head and that's just that's it.

Lose his consciousness, wakes up in heaven. His wife is there. Maybe his son who died in the first Gulf War. And then that's, do you not like how dark life is done for this comedy character but it's a it's a dumb it's the kind of dumb movie where Godzilla makes his appearance on New York soil by biting a fishing lure and like doing a gag about a fishing boy like a fish like a fish like a fish that's right he knows how to make an entrance he a diva. And then he walks up and he's

to throw things around. I can only assume there's a scene on the cutting room floor moments after the the dock explodes and they just threw a bunch of fake wood at those bums that are waiting off to the side. That there was an extra scene of them like looking at their liquor bottles and throwing them away. Yep. Never again. Stuart was pointing out we were watching how many Styrofoam bricks were thrown at people

throughout the movie today. Well, because there's so much of this movie is like they obviously have a huge effects budget for the time, but it's still only so big. So so much of the scenes are like a shitty shot of Godzilla legs running by and then it'll cut to real people with like fake stuff flying at them to make them think it'd make us feel like, oh wow, they're in the action. They're also, even when Godzilla has reached land,

they don't want to reveal what he looks like. They're working towards this mythical, amazing debut of the new Godzilla design, which is not gonna happen because this Godzilla design looks terrible. Let's just say it. Like, he looks really bad. Well, he's just really fucking scrawny and cut up, dude. He's like super mussely.

Super brawny, but he's got this huge head that looks like a, like thin, thin thing from without a mustache. Like kind of like thin, thin thing with other mustache in the tiny purple. Well, he looks more like a lizard man than like a giant lizard. Yeah, with a head. And a lizard man who like, you know that guy goes to the gym and lifts, purple. Well, he looks more like a lizard man than like a giant lizard. Yeah, with a head.

And a lizard man who like, you know that guy goes to the gym and lifts, man. Oh yeah. And his head is kind of shaped like the barrel of a handgun or a stapler. No, his head looks like a stapler. That's part of the problem. And he looks like a lizard man, exactly.

And so, and he's got the smarts of when he's constantly outwitting the military. I don't know about you dudes, but I love a big ass fat Godzilla. Like, I want one that looks like he's got the smarts of when he's constantly outwitting the military. I don't know about you dudes, but I love a big ass fat Godzilla. Like, I want one that looks like he just pounds the food all the time. Some junk and that trunk. Like a guy that I like, I like, I could be that guy. But you know what, there's a lot of body shame.

What they say, the bigger the cushion, the sweeter the push-in over buildings. Oh, yep, they do say that. Yeah. And Godzilla makes landfall. And the movie plays the same cards over and over buildings. Uh, yep, they do say that. Yeah. And Godzilla makes landfall. And the movie plays the same cards over and over again. We see Godzilla attack two different fishing boats. It's neither is so spectacular that they need it to heighten it or even show us another one.

And we see so many times people hearing it. Wait, but I don't get it from the first one. Does Godzilla like to attack fishing boats? I mean, there's television that God still likes to eat fish. You know what? I'm just gonna take that on credit. You don't have to explain to me that a big animal likes eating fish. Nope, we need to establish a pattern.

That's how the human brain works, Elliot. The human brain seeks to find some sort of a pattern in the randomness of events around it. It's like if in big night, they showed someone eating and then they followed that person to the bathroom and showed them pooping and they're like, now you understand how the system works. Is that the one with Keith Lecher? That's where the food went.

No, and Jeffrey Chaucer. No. Yeah. First night. I forgot that one, except that one called First Night also. I thought Sean Connery and Richard Geer in first night. I wish that was called big night though because He ledger such a big So what we will tell you. Oh, yeah, so they keep showing people like hearing Godzilla's footsteps and being like

What's that and then Godzilla shows up a couple times. As if the people watching the movie are resetting their brains with each scene. And for getting what happened to like, how New Yorkers are so caught up in the old rat race, dude. And they do that a couple times a scene where someone's so busy on the phone or listening to their headphones, they don't even notice that.

You can't see the giant green screens behind them. Like the movie is just keeps, it's like the movie keeps hitting a skip and showing you the same thing over and over again. Anyway, Matthew Broderick gets brought in, the army gets brought in, Manhatten gets evacuated. Manhatten is consistently called New York throughout the movie.

Come up, it's Take Manhatten briefly. Briefly, then God's ill, it crushes them. I, as a Brooklyn resident, become offended that New York apparently is just Manhatten and the outer burrows are meaningless to this film. You know what? Without Manhattan, we'd do just fine. Brooklyn was its own city once, it can be its own city again.

Anyway. Isn't it now the second biggest city in the world? It's, but it's the first best. Mm-hmm. So Godzilla. So Godzilla, you can keep your Manhattan high rise baby for a third, not that. But you know, you just know that Godzilla and his babies They're like oh, I have a family now. I got to go where it's safer. It's a little cuter

And they're gonna come and raise our rents because suddenly there's these rich monsters moving in I'm I'm tired of monsterification ruining neighborhoods And I'm tired of the monster factor. Wait, hold on. Monster. You doing it? I don't even know what you're doing. I'm tired of the monster vision. Monster vision.

Coming in to television and. Yep. Rooting. Now I'm right with you. Television. Oh, that's great. Wait, great stuff. Hold on.

So we've got to stop it around. The Army's trying to stop it. He's going fucking crazy. He can't stop. Matthew Broderick's full of good ideas. Put a big pile of fish over here and then shoot him a bunch of times. Well, that didn't work. And helicopters blew up a lot of building.

That's right. You think? Good point. My I was not clear. Put a pile of fish together to lure Godzilla over it. Shoot Godzilla. Shootin' the fish will make you feel good for a minute. Yeah.

But then it's up your confidence. It'd be pretty funny. Just think about building up a pile of fish and just shooting it. And then you're like, it's like shooting fish in a pile. Yeah. It's even easier than shooting them in a barrel, because the barrel's not getting in your way. Now, talking about technology in 1998.

Okay, let's talk about it. We've all agreed that the CGI does not age well, especially for the most part of the collection. There are some practical effects in it that look great, but the CGI looks very bad. But weirdly enough, the Army also suffers from some technological problems. Really? Because you think with a giant ass lizard

running around, they'd be able to see that thing with their heat vision goggles. No, it turns out because Godzilla is cold-blooded, that he cannot, he does not show up on infrared, and also heat-seeking missiles don't seek him. They seek everything else. At one point they go, uh, his temperature is colder than the environment around him.

Now, maybe this is because of the arment. Are heat-seeking missiles will just strike that sabrezz, uh, the cart, and blow up all the dogs? Ah, I escaped my native country's oppression for this. That's the owner of the subreds card. Now, I'll just hit Cleveland because I hear it's hot there.

It is hot in Cleveland. Because of all the Betsy White and Wendy Malam's and Daphne's. Who's the other moment on that? Uh, you know what? You know what? I've never seen it.

Bronson Pincho. That's not a woman. And he wants you to know that. Ding Dong, he's right outside. What? He says that you calling a woman is ridiculous. Okay. Thanks, Bronson.

Thanks for stopping by. Now, what if Bronson the movie with Tom Hardy was about Bronson Pincho? And Tom Hardy had to fucking meme somewhere that shit. Tom Hardy had to do a Balkybart talkin' with Simpression. You get all greased up and naked and they does his Balkybart talkin' with? Now,

Come at me, Quizz and Larry. Now, I was thinking about this. And maybe it's the Urban Heat Island effect that urban areas tend to trap heat and it gets hotter around them because of there's just so much energy and activity and so forth, it goes down. It is raining like a mofo, though.

You'd think the rain yeah would tamp down the temperature, temperature, if you will. And so it just doesn't squint. I mean, he's eating all this fucking fish. His body like converts that delicious fish into energy, that energy's heat, baby. Well, also he's running around like crazy. He's burning energy, fast.

Yeah. So, I mean, one, that's why it stays still cut. Is he always, he's heat, baby. Well, also he's running around like crazy. He's burning energy fast. Yeah. So, I mean, one, that's why he stays still cut. Is he always, he's always, it's like all it's constant to 90X. Yeah. Do you see that like V right around his hips? See how can I not look at it?

Yeah. All those belts, it's called. Yeah, I think it's called something else. I don't know. I don't say it. I don't like it. That's what I got in our addiction area. I don't think it's here. It's a full line. say it. I don't like it. That's what I got in every addiction area.

I don't think it's here. That's what I got in every addiction area. It's called American Pride anyway. So moving along, Matthew Broderick's fully good ideas, but they just can't stop this Godzilla. And so one thing leads to another, they blow it up with a bunch of submarine missiles and they think it's dead, dead, dead. Meanwhile, Matthew Broderick has fallen into distribute

because he says, this thing is pregnant. I took some pregnancy tests from a drug store that somehow is still open. And I tested its blood, I guess. Yeah, I mean, this is the thing. Like, he like, the only sample you see him taking is like, I've some like pink goo. But then later on, he seems to have just like a vial

of Godzilla urine. You gotta believe that that God's after swimming through all that water, Godzilla must have swallowing. It's PNL, right? It's PNL like crazy, but that is like, wow, how did Maddie brought it and get that Godzilla P? Maybe ordered through the mail. Yeah, delete scenes.

Yeah. And now can have some pee out of it. Of him sneaking up to Godzilla with a mask. To Godzilla in a urinal costume Good I gotta go zip and sell Matthew broader looks at the cameras as it's a living and then the scene ends Winks at it big laughs movie over movie over. Whoa. It's an interesting end of the movie.

I hope there's a post credit sequence that we have. He has a couple of other things. To catch me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me,'s also what's big man in Japan is not him, but it's kind of what he might do with the giant monster movie.

But any who, he tells the army, Godzilla's a hermaphrodite. He reproduces, when the army's like you just ruined my childhood, reproduces a sexually, and he's got a ton of babies somewhere that he's laid the eggs for the toys collecting all this first

and we got to stop him. And they're like, hey, did you leak a tape to your girlfriend, ex-girlfriend reporter of Godzilla footage? And he's like, uh, by accident, maybe. And they fire him. Luckily, genre no has been watching everything throughout the home movie with a mysterious. A crafty Frenchman, genre no. A mysterious band of Frenchmen. And here's another way that you can tell this is a pre-9-11 movie, is that the American military is portrayed terribly incredibly incompetent super bumbley. Can't get it shit together super bumbling, whereas the French secret is how about his bumbling as the American military would be if this was a Japanese made movie.

Yeah, I would just say step aside, bumble bees, because someone else deserves the title of bumble. It's the American military in Godzilla. You know what you're now called? Not as bumbley bee. Mm hmm. Well, I'm talking about the trains forming robot or the animal. Both. Watch out bumble and bumble, which I think is what a haircutting place. Yeah, it's a hair treatment. It's like creams and such. But cream in your ear? Yeah. I mean, not like cream that you get if you're like kitty cat. You're kitty cat.

Don't say that way, it's creepy. Kitty cat. Stop doing that, I don't like it. But cream that you put in your hair. Okay. Well, anyway, now your cold. Yeah, cold comes out of a cow's dick or something. Yeah, that's right.

That's anyway. It's a cow. I see why Stuart lost that contract doing the educational film strip for grade schools. Anyway, where's your milk come from? I don't know. Cash dick or something. They're just squeeze it a bunch. Yeah. Fire safety. Get away from that fire, dudes. Anyway, so. This is like driver's-ed film is like, check out these accidents, man. Check them out.

Slow your car down and look at them. Look at them. The part, look, if it's got a dead man's curve, speed the hell up, I want to see that dead man. Is it like in phantasm? Yep, that's a dead-on impression of me, guys. Yeah, classic. It's like, listen and do a mirror.

But in this movie, the French intelligence service is amazingly great at everything. They're the best. Oh, yeah. And five of them, led by Jean Reno, can do more better than the entire US military. So Matthew Brotter cooks up with them. They ask for his help finding the nest

of these Godzilla monsters. And they find it. Because at this point, normal Godzilla has been roasted under water. As far as they know, normal Godzilla is dead in the water, literally. And they have to find the babies. They find them. Where else? MSG, Madison Square Garden.

That's right. The building built on the ruins of the most beautiful building in the city, which was destroyed sadly. Upkeep was a real problem. But anyway, I'm talking about the old Penn station everybody. So real tragedy. Yeah, that's actual tragedy. It is now they find all these Godzilla eggs and they're like we got to blow them up. Uh-oh, they start hatching because here's the thing about Matthew Broderick. He's always around where godzilla is gonna be also we've established this point that godzilla despite being enormous can somehow comfortably creep through the subway tunnels

an area that i find cramped and uncomfortable and i'm a smaller than normal man i'm a no way a giant lizard and we can't just like you do some way to get rid of the lizard and i'm in and only in that, I'm larger than a normal lizard, but I still bask on a rock for most of the day and kind of blink in a way that implies

that I don't understand my surroundings. And if a snake bites my tail, I can just lose it and race off and grow like a stumpier new tail. Yeah, but otherwise you're nothing like a lizard. Nothing like a lizard otherwise. Yeah. So, if I saw you like in a nothing like a lizard. Nothing like a lizard otherwise. Yeah. So. Oh, and also I probably saw you like in a lineup with a lizard.

There's like a 50% chance I'd pick you to not be the lizard. Yeah, yeah, I think that's fair. And then I get off the crime of being a lizard, yeah. So they find this agnest. So they go to a man, since we're guards. Wherever Matthew Roderick is, Godzilla is sure to follow. I would think maybe they're in cooots. And God, he's already, Matthew Broderick has already had,

if Jay Jonah Jameson was in this movie, he would assume they were in cooots. Yeah. Matthew Broderick has already had a moment. Matthew Broderick is a minis. He killed those two people in Ireland. Oh, come on. You gotta get photos of that.

Parker, Parker. Where is that blasted Parker when you need him? Right here, chief, I don't call you chief. I guess that's what Jimmy Olsen calls Perry White. But I call you JJ. What about JJ? Anyway, I got these pictures of Spider-Man, Spider-Man's old news, no one cares.

I want this Praterant fella. And this got Zilla. I hear they're an item. Bradzilla. That's the celebrity name. It's going on the front page. Really the front page, because the US US neuron just signed a really major nuclear deal No, no, no front page brazilah is the star is Ferris Bueller dating a giant lizard run with it

Stop the presses wait, but you just told us to run with it. Are we stopping the presses now? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got them with a better story anyway. Okay. They split up. I haven't seen them together Probably it's a big divorce case who cheated on who was Godzilla bangin King Kong Or was Matthew Broderick doing it with I don't know King Kong run with it. That's the story stop the presses Hold on you're giving me one. I'm just a photographer So I don't really know how to what write a story about this or lay out the front page use the software I don't know it's computers now. Okay, is it weird anyone else said that you have a Hitler mustache? Whatever just get going, do it.

There's no one else in this newspaper. What I like about this scenario. Oh, well, J. Jonah Jameson is long gone insane. He's just imagining this conversation. He's just a crazy man sitting, staring at his shoes in a sanitary and just yelling, stop the presses, every now and then. Anyway, Matthew Broderick, they get there.

The eggs are hatching. Suddenly, it's Jurassic Park. Instead of Raptors, it's Baby Godzilla's chastened around MSG forever. This goes on forever. It's the craziest, longest shit. And you're like, I didn't go to this fucking Godzilla movie to see Baby Godzilla's.

I wanted to see Big Godzilla. And now, but that's classic Hollywood thinking, you have one Godzilla when you get out of a ton of Godzilla. I'll put on a Baby Godzilla's slip and homelone style on the back of the little bit. And basketball. I'll push back on this a little bit because I think that, I mean,

like they're totally stealing from Jurassic Park. I mean, it's obvious that they're like, all right, we want the Raptors. They did manage to put in a bunch of shitty CGI raptors running around. So you know what, yeah, give them a medal. You're on the Legion of Honor now. I'm pushing back. There's a bunch of French special forces guys who need to get murdered by God's

Ellis. So I guess this, yeah, give them the Nobel prize for garbage. Usually I'll say about it though, is like I, having a giant monster is kind of cool. It's kind of a gesture. Yeah. Well, you feed him and take him to watch. It's not as cool as it seems. I've I've never founded that scary like a giant monster. Good point. It is it's only scary in the sense of it being completely unpredictable and unconvinable. Yeah. Like the original Godzilla is scary because it feels like something that is beyond the power of men is just reigning destruction on innocence.

And for some reason, I find a smaller monster, like a more human-sized monster, more, sometimes humans are the worst monsters, didn't you? Yeah, I find it more frightening to like deal with something on a more relatable level. I can understand that. Yeah, like if they got into Madison Square Gardens and those fucking little eggs were birthed in little Henry portrait of the serial killers, yeah, I'd be shitting my pants.

That would be really scary. Yeah, by the Michael Rooker's runner. Oh my God. And Duke of the place just kill everything. Luckily he can't let me move in. Luckily he can only move in straight lines. Yeah. Rooker.

I don't know. That's great. Like a Rook. It's a chest joke. One night in Bangkok, makes a proud man humble. Anyway, Dan. So I get what you're saying. It's scarier for someone to be chased on a human scale than to have a bit, especially well, especially because this movie is going out of its way to have no casualties except for American soldiers caught in the crossfire of their own friendly fire. Like a sub gets blown up, helicopters are smashing up,

and also by soldiers, I'm just using military men. There's also naval sailors. Yeah, I mean, there's that one great scene where those three helicopters are sitting in front of a burning building, and they're like, we got them, haha, and they're giving each other verbal high fives, only to have Godzilla burst through a building behind them

and just beat the shit out of them. And I don't like, here's the thing that I don't like, is Godzilla making traps and catching them in traps. Like, he missiles are chasing him. Uh-oh, he squirves around to lead the missiles back to the submarine. It's like, how does this giant radioactive lizard monster know how a missile works?

He's wildly. Like, that doesn't make any, like, at what level of sentience is this giant lizard monster know how a missile works. He's wildly. That doesn't make any, like at what level of sentience is this giant lizard monster? Yeah, there's also some when he's this like unstoppable power. Yes, but it's a less scariest when he's a force of nature as opposed to like, I'm a naughty little boy who's cause making traps for how to do this.

Uh oh, you think I'm here? No, I'm here, oh, gonna have sex with your building now. Like, in a way that's the, in a way, him having sex with the Empire State Building is the scariest moment. I don't know. Because, as Gaila said, I'm a naughty, whittle boy. I would find that pretty freaking.

I guess so, but not scary. But him having sex with that building, which I'm just gonna assume he's doing, it is him dominating the human world and interacting with it in a way that is beyond our real understanding in a way that is totally alien to us and like there's something frightening in that concept. But yeah, for most of this, it's the same way that like the incredible Hulk in Marvel comics is always knocking out buildings but he never hurts anybody.

Mm-hmm. There was like, oh thank goodness we evacuated this town right before the Hulk got here. It really like lessons the danger of that character. And the lessons got Zilla's danger that the body count is so low. But when there's a like a raptor-sized monster chasing you, like it's a real visceral sense of like, oh, that thing could bite me and kill me.

And they kill a bunch of characters. They're eating up French special forces guys like they were popcorn. Like they were croissants. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's the French equivalent of popcorn? Do not say lip popcorn. Do not say lip popcorn. Do not say lip popcorn.

Yeah, because you normally lip popcorn by signing your foot on its chest and then nibbling its head off. You saw it on my face somehow. There's a funny thing about that. This was one of those moments where I was in your brain. And I saw the, I wanted to reach out and catch the synaptic. The electricity jumping the science synapse. Like who's the synapse are firing like kernels popping.

What do you get popcorn in your brain? That would probably make it harder to think, right? I don't know, like fucking oysters. They eat it like popcorn and brands. Okay, there you go. And blue oyster cult has a Godzilla song. You sing called Godzilla. Wheels are the wheels, number 23.

Anyway, so they steal a card from Gremlins to and they use the MSG cameras to patch into the main newsfeed and broadcast that they're like send us a fucking electrogram when Stan we need an electrogremlin and an old man dressed like a vampire right now and they say all these movies great. It's the best movie ever ever. I think they're doing another showing over this Sunday at bam. I think they're doing another showing over this Sunday at BAM. I think so. Maybe I'll. Oh shit. Yeah. Yeah. I'll be in Los Angeles. Oh, anyway. We'll just FaceTime. You can watch it with me. Yeah. I'll still buy a ticket

though. Guys, so chill out. Don't write me mean letters. This isn't really like, and we paid for that seat that the iPad is sitting in. They get a message out. All the Godzilla babies were in this Madison Square Garden. Blow it up. Godzilla babies, oh make our dreams come true. When you think a thing needs crushed and you wish that you were there. Yeah. Just stop your foot and make believe and you can crush anywhere So Good to love baby, baby's babies I thought it was and you I thought it was love you true love you true I don't know that's I guess and you would probably make more sense for kids. I'd be wrong. Maybe it's love you true

Maybe maybe they hired somebody used to write Elvis songs. So I'm gonna finish up the lyrics. Well, it's like this 50s pastiche. So that's what I sort of thought that was with this, but it's kind of weird for a kid's show, I guess. I guess. Yeah, because the kids are like, I only am looking for a love that's true.

Not one of these, well, not one of these Saturday night kids who likes. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I thought this was a casual thing, my baby. No names, no names, my baby. Yeah, only masks. Look, I'm, I'm Nikolai and you're Olga, okay? And we just met for the first time in this bar.

And we'll never meet again. We're pretending we're Russian spies for the night. It's our fantasy night. Anyway, so they blow up Madison Square Garden. Uh-oh, sorry, David. No more sports games there. And you can't see Billy Joel twice a month or whatever he does there. Anyway, but then, uh-oh, mommy Godzilla comes back because you wanted the movie to be over. No, it's not. There's a very long car chase where they're in a taxi cab because it's New York and Godzilla's chasing them and

Godzilla cannot get her shit together to catch this taxi cab And I have never wanted a monster to eat a car full of the stars of movie more than in this film They bring Godzilla over to Brooklyn. This after Godzilla mommy Godzilla has a moment while partially submerged in the ashes of Madison Square Gardens while partially submerged in the ashes of Madison Square Gardens. This Godzilla looks at its dead babies. Nudge is it with a nose. Like it's so many deady walks. Like so many what?

Deady walks. Oh yeah, yeah, sad. And whereas deady walks, not that sad, dead Godzilla is your kind of sad. Well, because you add in the element of like, this is her baby. And whereas most reptiles do not have a family connection with their offspring, just leave them to get eaten. Pops out your cloaca, hatches, who cares? Maybe I'll eat it myself.

They look as snagged. That's mine now. I made it, I get to eat it back in my belly where you came from. I'm a perpetual eating machine. I was watching the show Life Last Night, I made it, I get to eat it back in my belly where it came from. I'm a perpetual eating machine. I was watching the show Life Last Night, which is one of those earth shows,

where there's a great footage of that. I'm not the Amy and Lewis detective show a lot. No, no, the show where it's like really great HD footage of animals. And there was a lizard who hatched her eggs and then just watched as a snake ate them. And my wife was like, I would never allow that to happen to my child. I could never stand by with that.

She put her foot down, yeah. Yeah, cuz you're human too. That's a relief, oh boy. Like, yeah, human being, you're not some dumb lizard. So the fact that Godzilla feels real emotions is an evolutionary leap forward. In a way we're almost like, maybe we are time on this planet is done.

Which is Matthew Broderick's message in this film and in life. You've seen the PSA's right? Hi, I'm Matthew Broderick. You may remember me from Lady Hawk. Now, there's something I want to let you know. As humans, our time on this earth is over. Also, by the producers, Broadway sound track, it's me, Matthew Roderick. Yeah. So God Zoa chased after them, ends up on the Brooklyn Bridge and gets stuck into her attic. No, she gets tangled in the suspension wires, which for some reason doesn't cause the bridge really to collapse. I don't remember. And the army shoots a ton of missiles at her and

blows her up. And she has a, and she dies. And Matthew Roderick is like, oh, you are too beautiful for this world. And everything is totally okay and everyone's life is better until, uh-oh, there's one egg left and it's hatching and it's in a locker room which would seem like a really small space for Godzilla to shove her cloaca into and just squirt negative into. But what are you going to do? It's the movies. Anyway, getting everybody said for a sequel. That's what the fucking cartoon bird said

at the end of the movie. It's the movie. The way that Godzilla baby pops out the egg of the anyways, we'll be saying, that's all folks. Now they had signed up the main cast for three movies. Really? They were preparing for a Godzilla trilogy. And they had signed like Matthew Barclay

and there's three films. I believe it was what you meant to say. I've all jazzed the trilogy Yeah, and the film failed to meet their High hopes and those other movies were not made. Well, that's too bad and the only time we ever got to see this Godzilla again Aside from the Godzilla animated series based on this film was in the great Godzilla movie Godzilla final wars Which I think I may have talked about on the podcast before I'm not sure probably many times the great Godzilla movie Godzilla final wars, which I think I may have talked about on the podcast before, I'm not sure. Probably many times. The real Godzilla, although in this case,

I guess it's Godzilla's son, because Godzilla had to kill and Godzilla versus destroyer, but then Godzilla's son is also in the movie. You know what, forget it. I'm not gonna get involved in the continuity hiccups, but Godzilla final wars is the movie that ends with Godzilla seemingly forgiving America for dropping the atomic bomb.

But of course, he's got something to gain from it. It woke him up. But he faces the American Godzilla for like a 45 second fight and just destroys him instantly. And it was really great. And when I saw it in a theater as part of the New York Asian Film Festival, the audience cheered and applauded. And it was like a cathartic moment had just taken place. Yeah, you left that theater brothers.

Yeah. So we should wrap up and... We've been talking for a long time. Say whether this is our final judgment on this movie, whether it's a good bad movie, a bad bad movie or a movie kind of like, I have to admit that when I first saw it with a bunch of movie we kind of like. I get to admit that when I first saw it with a bunch of friends in college, you know, a cackling film teacher, I kind of enjoyed it. And I have a kind of soft spot for Roland Emmerich and his particular flavor of stupid. Like he usually keeps things moving pretty fast and has a bunch of

character actors and tries to throw in jokes there even if they're bad jokes that at least the thing exists But this is probably my least favorite role in the emiric movie upon rewatching it and I think it was bad bad Board me Yeah, it's a perfect example of like a bad 90s derivative blockbuster It's a perfect example of like a bad 90s derivative blockbuster, although it did feature a intentional slam against film critic Roger Ebert, which is hilarious. I'm gonna talk about that. And Jean's at school.

And Jean's at school. But I think I feel like mostly that hot fire coming out of Roland Emmerich's pen is going right toward Roger Ebert by naming the mayor of the town mayor Ebert. The town. New York City. Yeah, it's the biggest little town on earth. No, that's not neat. It's Reno, I think. And it's such a funny like bullshit parody.

Like you have expect mayor Ebert to talk about like how he can't stop shitting his pants. How small his penis is. Exactly. And they throw in a bunch of dumb thumbs up, thumbs down jokes. It's so crazy. It's such a crazy, small, petty fucking joke. In your enormous movie. Yeah.

In the movie that is the big release of the year of any studio. Like, I wonder how many people are like, in the movie that is the big release of the year of any studio. Like I wonder how many people were like, are you sure you wanna do this role and he's like, fucking positive dude. Yeah, I got this one. I'd be so curious. I'm gonna have to start a review for Independence Day.

It's finally gonna get paid back. That review cost us the Oscar. Yeah. So was that it? That was a bad bad. I think you're out, you know what I say? It's a bad bad movie, but if you cut out the last sequence, I'd call the good bad movie. All right. But you have to.

Are you talking about the sequence where the baby Godzilla is bustin' through the windows and it's just a bunch of fake Godzilla puppets sticking in the windows. That's pretty great. Maybe my favorite, my two favorite parts in this movie are the baby Godzilla puppets, which look great. There's one that opens its mouth and they did such good latex detailing

on the inside of the throat. And there's a moment when the helicopters are chasing Godzilla through the canyons of New York that the effects are chasing Godzilla through the canyons of New York that the effects are so hyperactively fake looking that it stops being an example of bad special effects and it becomes an example of really cool bad special effects where it's like, you know, this isn't even supposed to look real, it's just supposed to look kind of like vibrant, you know. Yeah, yeah, we're, this is like a cut out from a sequence in the lawnmower, man.

Yeah, or like the moment at the end of a moonrise kingdom where they're hanging from the whatever that spire is that that lighting is it. And it's clearly miniatures, but like, it's not even supposed to look super real like it's more the feeling of it. So anyway, but I'm gonna call this a bad bad because then there's, I was talking about the endless sequence where God's ill is chasing them in that taxi cab and they're arguing over directions and it's like No, it's a hilarious joke about New Yorkers and how they want to tell you how to you know, which for route is best. Lee Funny stuff

Okay, three good bads, I guess. I guess our brand's got broke. I guess our brand's got broke. I guess our brand's got broke. I guess our brand's got broke. I guess our brand's got broke. I guess our brand's got broke. I guess our brand's got broke. I guess our brand's got broke. I guess our brand's got broke. I guess our brand's got broke. I guess our brand's got broke. I guess our brand's got broke. I guess our brand's got broke.

I guess our brand's got broke. I guess our brand's got broke. I guess our brand's got broke. I guess our brand's got broke. I guess our brand's got broke. I guess our brand's got broke. I guess our brand's got broke. I guess our brand's got broke.

I guess our brand's got broke. I guess our brand's got broke. I guess our brand's got broke. I guess our brand's got broke. I guess our brand's got broke. I guess our brand's got broke. I guess our brand's got broke. I guess our brand's got broke. We'll try out cheddar larva and cricket bars so you don't have to. We play Would You Rather and Answer questions from the audience? And we have great guests that pop into the bunker. It's everything you love about the show and more.

Come check it out every Wednesday here on MaximumFun.org. Stay safe out there. There's always hope and cheesecake. New York City, listen up! Your fellow Max Fun listeners and hosts are gathering at Stuart Wellington's new Brooklyn bar and you're invited. You probably know Stuart from his hilarious movie riffing on the flop house, but did you know he's also a small business owner? It's true!

Join Stuart at a ton of new Max Fun Friends at the Hinterlands bar on Saturday, August 27th at 7pm. You can find more information at bit.ly slash Max Fun Hinterlands. See you there! So what do we do after this part, Dan? That's a good question, Dan. What do we do in the next part of the podcast? Well, we have a few sponsors who help keep the lights on around the flop central, and we need to give them their time in the sun. And one of them... It's especially weird that they keep the lights on, but we record. We keep it real dark

in here. Yep, real sexy. Not only by candles made from that candle making workshop we did at their romantic retreat. And my glow-in-the-dark skeleton PJs that I'm wearing. And the lights from the Munithis heart-shaped jacuzzi were all in. Yep. And lights from the ground effects from this hot wheels car I have. And these little like those glow sticks that you break

and then they light up and there's some kind of weird chemical in there and you don't want to drag it. And this glow-in-the-dark condom I'm making balloon animals out of. But anyway, this one's a banana. This one's a banana. Okay. This one's a snake. A lot of imagination. This one is a full condom.

This one is a moray eel. This is spaghett. It was really thick. So the flop house is sponsored in part by blue apron. Not all ingredients are created equal. Fresh high quality ingredients taste better and are better for you. So it's important to know where your food comes from. For less than $10 per meal, blue apron delivers seasonal reps recipes along with pre-portioned

ingredients to make a delicious home cooked meal. Now do they deliver reps of peas? I thought a reptile recipe. I'm sure that if there was a free-range Godzilla out there, they would give you a delicious recipe for, I don't know, crispy Godzilla on top of a... Real imaginative. German course law. Oh, okay.

Anuations of table. Yeah. Yeah. But, uh... We've talked before. Blue Apron is really great. They send you good food and you don't have to measure any stuff out because they give you all the measurements.

And you were gifted one of those after Sammy was born and that was really helpful. Mm-hmm. So if you know somebody who's going to be in a position where they can't shop or cook for themselves too complicatedly because either they've just have a new baby, they're taking care of someone who's sick, maybe they don't have access to a lovely whole foods. Exactly. Or even a half foods.

Get them some blue apron. It's a good gift. Get it for yourself. Maybe you're a lonely guy like Dan, cooking for one, then just. You make two meals, you eat one, the other one you leave on a plate for a guest that will never arrive. Just sits in the corner, slowly rotting as you cry, stinking, stinking up your house. But you don't have to waste that much food because the measurements are so precise. But it's, yeah, it's really convenient.

Yeah, and I always like to read what the meals are available. I just like reading it. I think it's fun. Like the fucking Zagat's Guide or something. And August, in August, you got some spiced pork burgers with goat cheese and cucumber corn salad, summer vegetable and quinoa bowl with fairy tale eggplants. What could that be?

Fairy tale eggplants. You know how to hear. Shashito peppers and corn. And let's do this. Chicken tingatacos with summer squash and tomato salsa. Dan, it sounds delicious. It does. I don't know what it is, and it sounds delicious.

So check out this week's menu and get your first three meals free with free shipping by going to blueaparin.com slash flop house. That's blueaparin.com slash flop house. That's blueaprin.com slash flop house. Blueaprin, a better way to cook. Let's get yummy. The better slogan. The better slogan. Better slogan both for Blueaprin and you. Stuart Wellington.

What's the yummy? Yes. Two apron. Here's this week's meal, Castle Freak. Isn't that the same as last week? Wait, friend. Here's this week's, this week's meal, Castle Freak. This one of the same as last week. He showed up. But we're all sponsored this week by Mac Weldon. Oh, fancy panties.

They believe in us. They're called underpants. Smart design, premium fabrics and simple shopping. Fabrics? Fabrics. The, it's dedicated to bring the being the most comfortable underwear, socks, shirts, undershirts, hoodies and sweatpants you'll ever wear. I have some delightful, michael and shirts, some underwear.

Yeah, they're pretty delightful. They're my favorite brand of underwear right now and their socks are really great and their undershirts are really great. Now, if you're playing a special night with your dudes, your ladies, who cares, your days, who has your ludes. Here's two great strengths to the Mac Weldon underwear. One, they look great. They show off both sides of your pelvic area very nicely.

Two, they're more comfortable and they're area, so you can have the confidence of knowing that those parts of your body, which let's face it, we all want to have somebody touching at some point in the evening. And it's fucking August dog, it's the dog days of summer, we all know those areas must smell. They just, by, you know, there's no way of getting around it. But if Mayor and Mac Weldon's it's like they're breathing, they don't feel swampy. You know what? It's one, I'm gonna have the confidence that's gonna get someone to touch that part of me. And two, when they do, they're gonna be like, oh, you're not the swatting girl.

They're not gonna be sticking their hands down into a bucket full of Nickelodeon's gack. And you're gonna... Unless that's what you keep in your underpants, I don't know. And you're gonna say it that way too, right, Ellie? You're gonna go touch that part of me. Mm-hmm. I mean, if you say it, right, the best.

That's pretty, really soul album. Somebody mock up the cover. That's that part of me. So please go to Mac Weldon.com and get 20% off using your promo code flop. promo code flop. Now the next part of this show is the Jujujo jumbo tron. jumbo tron. jumumboist of Tron. Here are some other folks who are helping keep some lights on in this flop house of ours. You don't have to be a big company like Mac Weldner and Blue Apron to get to be a part of the flop house supporting community. You can be a regular Joe.

You can be a regular Max Fund donor, which is amazing, and we thank all of our Max Fund Ledge donors. Or you can go to the Jumbo Tron and slash or you can also go to the jumbo tron and we'll read a special message that you've given us. Like this one. Happy birthday to my college roommate, lifelong friend, fellow educator and fellow flop house listener, Carl Peardum, Perdom Peardum. I don't know how to pronounce it. I must do it. I'm dumb. I don't know how to pronounce it. I'm a steward and I'm dumb. I know you're the owner slash operator of ivorytowertudoring.com

and co-author of Barron's latest GMAT guide. But come on, can't you take at least one day off from providing top notch LSAT, GRE and GMAT tutoring at affordable rates in person in the Atlanta area and worldwide via Skype? It's your birthday. You should be out celebrating. Sincerely, Dr. Bowman first name withheld.

Now that message once again is to celebrate Carl's birthday by giving him money to improve your L-Sat,, or GMAT scores visit www.ivorytodoring.com. Maybe if I took some of those courses, I'd know what the hell we're talking about. Maybe, hopefully, and we've got another message. This is a poisinal message from a poisinal, because a poisinal can develop a message. Guys and dolls. So this is for Jam Master Karen from Team Memmily. Dan, can you read that first sentence up there? Happy birthday, Karen. And then I'll read the rest.

Among your plethora of achievements in coding, fashion, and friendship, introducing us to the flop houses truly the greatest hope Dan's voice saying your name is the best gift you ever received and that you're reacting to this with your signature cackel. You are the best BFF forever redundant and a great, I apologize.

I was like a fact checker, too much for that. I apologize for checking this grammatical. Wait a minute, I have the character limit. You are the best BFF forever and a great, terrifying guy colleague, love you. So that's a message of sheer love and friendship on the birthday of Karen from team either M.M.E.L.E. or M.M.E.L.E.L.E.

Terrified guy colleague. I'd like to know more about that. You'd like to be terrified, you're a guy. Yeah. Godzilla didn't do it. No. Only the baby Godzilla did it for Dan. Now, just to point out, in addition to that sort of thing, we also at the end of this month. This is August on August 27th

If you're listening to this later than August of 2016 just rip the earbuds out of your ear and throw yourself down a flight of stairs Well, they already ripped the earbuds out. They didn't hear that part and they're not hearing this part. Now we're back in the there's gonna be a meetup for listeners of the Max Fun podcast. That's the network that this podcast is a part of maximumfun.com. That'll work. That'll work.

Thank you, I'm an idiot. But there's gonna be a big meetup for Max Fun listeners at Hinterlands Bar in Brooklyn, New Brooklyn. That's your bar, Stuart. That is my bar. So, yeah, you know. Someone's digging from the trumpet both ends. Yep, I like. Well, it's sweet at the front, but that's even sweeter at the back end of that truck.

So there's going to be a meetup, including many maximum fun personalities. The same ones you love this too. And yeah, so if you're around, come by August 27th, Hinter Lands bar, 7pm till I think 11pm. What's the address for that bar? 739, Church Avenue, Brooklyn, New York. USA, Earth, the Milky Way, Universe, Multiverse, creation. But now, oh, you know what?

I want one more thing I wanted to say. I wanted to thank all the people who came out to our Washington DC live show, which we did recently. Yeah. At the black cat club, I don't know what you would call it. Bar space, performance space in Washington DC. It was a really fun show. The audience was really great.

We had some amazing questions, the question is your session. Unfortunately, they laughed at it. Unfortunately, our recorder did not work properly. So those 500 people shared a very special experience of a flop house show that no one else will get to hear but them. So thanks for coming guys.

And it's a real motivation. If you ever want to go to a fly-past live show, go to it because we may not know how to work the recorder. And you may not get the chance. It may screw the fuck up. But it was a great idea. Yeah, the last thing to pass up episodes where our sound quality is, let's say suspect, is any indication, yeah, we can't really be trusted to handle things in our hands. We don't know how the machine thing and Bob devices work. Yeah, so this is the magic of live theater.

It's an ephemeral experience. Yeah, it happens once and then it disappears into the ether. There's a real flabhouse pop-up show. Yeah, so thank you everyone for coming out. You were really welcoming and for our first show outside of the New York area It was a real success and we had a fun time. So thanks very much. Yeah, well, finally I have to do more of those, right, Elliott? Yeah, I mean, why? So, when are we doing our next one? Tomorrow, I don't know.

Oh, wow. You pushed them too far in the other direction. We're going to be in San Francisco tomorrow at the Fillmore, I don't know. You heard you hear first guys. But now it's time to talk about letters. I talk about I mean read letters that come from listeners like you. Movie mail bag. Now I sang a song earlier in the show. Does that mean I won't sing a song right now? Well we're going long. There's

no time for a song. but I'm singing one anyway, because you only live life once, only live life once in this world, unless you believe in reincarnation and soul, transmigration and other things ending in Asian. Perhaps your Haitian. It's really a real event. Letters. Thanks, Elliott.

So this first letter I'm reading mostly because I was looking through our back log of letters and this one came up. And it was particularly. What an origin story. Wow. It was particularly timely given that we finally released the Fantastic Four live show. Do you think it's going to win the 2012 presidential election? It goes like this.

Of course, John McCain, last name with hell. I went up to see the second. They've been running in that. I went up to see the second show Fantastic Four with my friend and coworker Jeezie all the way from Orlando, Florida. It was one of the most fun nights of my life. I don't know if that makes it sound epic, or it makes me sound pathetic.

Probably both are true. Pathetic. I was certainly one of the most drunken nights of my life, which I think helped. But more than that, I got to connect with other flop fans who were all great. I even met three guys from Central Florida Turns out I've met them before at Bart Trivia right here in Orlando. The world can be crazy small sometimes

I was surprised if we get to have conversations with Dan and Stewart. You both were so kind I mean I figure you wouldn't bother doing an after party at all if you didn't want to go But I'm still I'm glad for your openness with everyone. I know our conversations weren't deep after all. With Dan, I only spoke of coats and cats, but I really appreciate it. Almost the same word. Oh, except for that, oh, cousin trouble. Because I had such a good time. I'm making a new year's resolution to be more intentional about going out and meeting people. After all, part of the reason I had such a good time was just being open and talking to folks. All the best, Megan last name withheld. And I know there's not like a lot to respond to in that letter.

It was very nice. It started as nice. I like the message of going out there, opening and talking to folks. No, I mean people, yeah, don't be afraid. Yeah. But be open and talk to folks. Well, the only we've talked about, I think, to get more serious on this, that we've talked about on this show before, that if you're in a place where you're feeling alone, the only cure for that is to go out and meet people, and it's hard, but it's worth doing. Yeah. Yeah. And go to Flop House Live shows, of course.

I guess yours is wearing a shirt that says my best friend is Jesus right now, so. maybe you'll meet Jesus all year. Yeah, I don't know what you mean by that. So what's the connection here? It's about friendship. Yeah, I guess. I mean, that's different kind of friendship. You're not gonna like go hang out with him. I mean, that's good. I wouldn't know. Go out and make some friends. You might like playing some Mario Kart. You don't know. He contains multitudes probably. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he's probably really good on the rainbow road. I mean, his father's house has mentioned as many rooms or whatever his house many mansions. So you know, one of them's got to have an N64 or that. I think we have many. I think we've thoroughly ruined the lovely message from the other. No, that was

a lot. Then we're free to move on. That was a very sweet letter. Thank you. This letter gives like this, Dear House of the Rising Flop, your recent impression of a vampire Werner Herzog inspired a question. If you had to turn a director into a vampire so they can continue making movies forever, we could never again work in sunlight or with real girl, like which director would you choose? John Garbiter. Thanks brothers. And keep up with the great work. Sam last name with Hell that square.

Oh no, maybe Guy Men. Okay, that's an interesting choice. Yeah, I would go with the Cohen brothers myself. Although it couldn't work in sunlight. So maybe. Yeah, because it doesn't, they've never done anything with noir shadows. Maybe I would pick someone who's only done movies in the dark. Who do I want to color with the gift of immortality? And you can also turn out to be a horrible curse.

But I think John Carbuner would take it and stride. He'd just make a shill of dope synth music. It's pretty laid back. Yeah, man, he's pretty chill. I mean, I think I'm maddened would probably appreciate it the most. This gift of eternal life and eternal darkness. Yeah. But I mean, the co-embrothers are probably my favorite filmmakers of all time. Yeah.

So like, they have a few clunkers, but their average is incredibly high. Even their like Stuart Gordon. Even their bad films have redeeming qualities, which mostly, well, what would a, I just don't like interval cruelty. I know I think you watched it again and you liked it, right? I watched it again and I was like, okay,

as soon as I stopped thinking about this as a Cohen Brothers movie, it has incident-short I don't want to. Yeah, so because even like the Lady Killers, which is not a good movie, has like elements about it that are not bad? I think that that movie definitely, if you... That one, I like better than the Tolerable Cruelty.

I know that that's an unpopular opinion, but if you take that outside of the Co-Unbrothers world, there's some really funny stuff in that. Like, I really like Tom Hanks' weird performance in that movie. Yeah, it's all right. The soundtrack is a good soundtrack, most part. But look, we don't have to like the same things all the time, but, Hell Caesar, I loved, you thought it was okay.

Yeah. Second tier. Look, we both agree they should be vampires, okay? Yeah. And they should feed off of each other forever. No, that does not have vampires. No, that's awesome. That's gross.

Sounds pretty hot. After dark. Yeah, because they're vampires. This letter reads, I noticed during your latest episode, Jim and the holograms. Jim and the holograms. Jim and the holograms. The Dan Struggle. Hey, Jim, can you clean up your holograms?

The Dan Struggle to describe the dot over the lower case eye when referencing the dec logo. Dittelman, as a graphic designer and lover of adolescent humor, I'm delighted to inform you that there is in fact an official term for that dot, and that term is titl. This just seemed like important information that you... Whoa, when did that little, little school girl come in here? Oh, man, get out of here. Bring Elliot back. This seemed like important information that you all needed to know. Plus, anytime you're feeling blue,

bodadí, bodadí, you can just say it, tittle. And it's a guarantee to bring a smile of your face. Pressing on my buttons. As well as confused looks from anyone in your vicinity. Thanks so much for the great podcast. I look forward to it every weekend. Well, you shouldn't look forward to it every weekend because then it comes out. Bye monthly. You show him.

Giggles and giggles and tittles. Lee first and last time with hell. I want to end every letter I write for the rest of my life. Giggles and tittles. Again, not a lot to respond to in the easily do that. I'll hear your son. If you're reading this, then I've passed. I have some important news for you, et cetera, et cetera. Giggles and Tittles, your late father. Sorry, you were saying. No, I'm saying you could easily handle that

with what Gmail settings or whatever. Yeah, you're right. I could make that what I sign off as. Maybe I will. So when you're sending out your resume, because for jobs you're looking for, I don't know how your work works. That's right.

Feels until sounds like a collection of like late 70s Swedish porn or... Orodica, yeah. Orodica. Yeah, I can see that. Like it's been packaged up. Yeah, like how national lampoon used to be all about like negative titles and like weird jokes. Mm-hmm. And now they're all about

What like I don't know like van Wilders National lampoon is This last letter Goes as such I was at a pottery fair in Cincinnati and saw a guy wearing an RIPD shirt. I was baffled at not only the existence of the shirt, but also the fact that the world's only RIPD superfan lives in Cincinnati. I thought this letter started as if they were throwing darts at just a magnetic poetry kit. Pottery fairs, RIPDT shirt. This made me wonder what shirts the original

peaches would wear if you could each own a shirt featuring a movie that you flopped. A Bratz tank top, a fateful findings hoodie, a talking cat long sleeve tea, flop on, Jimmathy. I mean, I would totally wear a fateful findings shirt. Yeah, I know. First of all, I was looking for a questionateful find. Yeah, I know. Very short question.

I was wish that you hadn't suggested it because like then, like the very suggestion of it makes that the obvious choice. Yeah, I want like, I want like Benjamin Rees for us to design a fucking fateful finding shirt. Is Neil Brain, yeah, surrounded by three laptops. With no shirt on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, with that likes. He's Neil Brain, surrounded by three laptops. With no shirt on.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, with that likes. Sorry, he's got those multiple laptops. I forgot about that. Oh my god, I'm so sorry. Stuart dropped something. Yeah, I forgot. He had those non-working turned-off laptops that even then sweep off his desk. Oh, what an amazing movie.

I'm thinking of actually doing a showing of faithful findings just because. You should. Yeah. Now I'm actually thinking about contacting Benjamin Moran, seeing if I can convince and convince him to design the commission and then to get you from a faithful finding sposter. But I can turn into a cool tank top to wear at the beach.

I'm sure, yeah. And people will be like, what's that? You're not a brain-ac? Yep. I'll get really intense and in their face about it. Get with the fucking program, dude. Now normally I should just be excited that somebody's having a chat with me

when I'm hanging out at the beach. Yeah. As opposed to just like, sir, you can't sit there. Sir, your testicles are showing through your shorts. All right, I'll tell you where to get a Neil brain shirt. But that's not what I... Sir, this isn't a nude beach. It is now.

Hey, bottom's only, dude. Bottom's can be nude. There's no law saying he can't be nude on the bottom. What the most? It's not like a porky big law. Wait, what? It's not like a porky pig law. You're like, now I want you to go outside wearing just a suit jacket and a bow tie. And you get a rest and be like, oh, so a pig can do it, but I can. I thought I had rights, judge.

Officer, this is a double stand. You have a big, you have a big glossy photo of Porgy Pig with you. Just as an example. Yeah. Well, in case their memory needs a little jogging after they've been distracted by my lower body. You're chanting this is what democracy looks like. And luckily in this age of cell phone, somebody would take that interaction down on video.

Oh, sure. Yeah. And then you, and I would finally be vindicated. And the officer would look the fool. This, this man went outside without pants on and you'll never guess what happened next. And what happened next will change the way you think about this.

Or I'd be this man wearing a shirt is everything. Well, I was host, wins the everything and all the cools for eternity awesomes. Yeah. Well, at my house host, wins the everything and all the cools for eternity awesomes. This man's testicles will give you all the feels. Yep. So tired of this. Man wearing shirt, no pants, is woke AF.

So much testicle, so many good peen or something like that. What does that dog say? What other memes are there Dan? keyboard cat has that frog on the unicycles. Yeah, yeah, it was like 14 years old or something And fucking sunglasses Yeah, and the honey badger Why would it all a lot so many memes the end Stuart one of all this very is our Night or something.

Wait, basketball players, what? Various basketball players crying. Oh, and like, Kermit and Willie Wonka are both not interested in what you're telling them. Yeah. I have. I have. I just want to show some shit ton of menus. Oh, you love those.

Oh, I can't get enough of them. Can't get enough. Like French minion soup over here. So, that's good soup though. They got bread in it. They got bread in it. French onion soup, y'all, they got bread in it. I'm Elliott Kaelin for French onion soup. I'm Elliot Kaelin for French onion soup. No, not like so, not like no normal soup. I got bread in it. There's cheese in this soup.

That's crazy. So Dan, what else do we do on this podcast? We do one last thing in this hot, hot room that we're recording. Why are we going so long on a movie that's been out for 20 years in a room that's so hot? And that is we recommend a movie that we saw that we actually enjoyed. We have to instead of instead of Godzilla. Well, I'll go first, Jens, how about that? I'll speed it up. I'd recommend a documentary movie. It's kind of the opposite of Godzilla.

It's called Harlan County, USA, and it's directed by Barbara Coppel. I'm pulling it out of Elliott where I'm just like, oh, that's a good one. Where now you, you have credit for this one. It's a documentary from 1976 about a coal mine strike in Harlan County in Kentucky, and where I guess what justified a set. Yup.

And it's a really great movie, and really gives you a sense of how dangerous and difficult those types of strikes can be, and how life or death they can really be. And this side are you on. I mean, I'm on the workers side, but I mean, I don't know. Maybe other people are not there.

That's the, isn't that the call to action for the workers? You said I'm on. Oh, I thought you were just asking me. Yeah, no, I mean, I'm assuming you're with big business. Yeah, oh no, I love big coal. Because you know why? There's a lot of naughty kids out there and they need to know they've been naughty

and they're stocking in the morning. Where are we gonna get it except from the coal mines? But you're right, there's a lot of great music in it that is performed by just regular people and they do a special good job of showing the importance of not just the workers themselves but also the women who are parts of the lives of the workers and the important part. They play it in the strike and sister really good movie.

So Harlan County, USA. I've got some qualified recommendations. So I figure like maybe if I double up on two middling recommendations, does that equal one? A DMAQOIS special. So what plane did you see these on? No, I saw these both. I saw one on a train. I saw one on your iPhone.

One is on premium cable right now. For two hours. One, I saw a videology in Williamsburg, but they're both documentaries. The one I saw a videology is called Tickled. It's about a guy who sees online an ad for competitive endurance tickling. That sounds like a nightmare. Which has these gentlemen tickling each other while one of them is tied down. And he decides that he's going to look further into it and almost immediately gets dramatic pushback

from the tickling people and he's like, what's the problem here? Why am I getting such pushback? Why do they care that I'm looking into this? And several shoes drop in terms of like why this tickling thing is happening and who the people behind it are. I don't want to get into it too much because that's pretty much the story of the documentary, but it's 90 minutes, it's fairly entertaining.

Fairly entertaining. Raves, Dan, the clienty, so it's a meddling recommendation. I want them to put that on the box. Raves, Dan McLean, he sits in the middle of recommendation. Yeah. I want them to put that on the box. I can't get into it without expressing the surprises. I wanted there to be a few more surprises than there were. I could see where the arc of the documentary was heading, but it's still. Justice.

Yeah, it bends towards justice. But it's still, is it worth seeing? Still worth seeing. Okay. And then I watched Hitchcock Trufo based on the book of the same name. Their cops. Where Francois Trufo Hitchcock's a dog. Interviewed out for Hitchcock. Trufo is a cat. Some of them are both bullies officers. They'll catch the bad guys if they're not too busy catching each other. If you've read Hitchcock slash Trufo, you know it's one of the best books on making movies that there is. It's really entertaining to watch one great filmmaker interview another.

The movie is kind of an adaptation of the book. It's kind of about Truffaut and his relationship with Hitchcock. It's also kind of just a typical talking head documentary where modern directors talk about Hitchcock. As such, it kind of feels like a really good DVD extra sometimes, but it's still entertaining and maybe want to watch Hitchcock movies. I went back and I rewatched. And previously you've had no interest. No, I have to say I love Hitchcock, but I rewatched a middling Hitchcock movie, a movie that doesn't get a lot of attention to the remake of The Man Who New Too Much, which is- I mean,

to introduce the song, Kacerasa or us or i was a huge international hit yeah one became award i believe for song i think yeah but uh don't quote me on that it's cool down on that it's not top hitchcock though but it's a fun movie and uh i enjoyed being inspired to rewatch it so if you like movies you'd like hitchcock movies hitchcock slash truffo movies, Hitchcock slash Truffaut. And so it's not slash fiction about Hitchcock and Truffaut doing it. Yeah. Oh, Mr. Hitchcock. Place that cigar gently between my clothes. Stop, stop, stop, stop.

Don't want to go there. Yes, George. Can you raise that image from my mind? Yeah. So I'm going to recommend the movie that I recommend in our famous now live lost episode I'm gonna recommend Richard Linklater's everybody wants some Because there's a filmation points in it. It's based on that sequence and better off dead with that hamburger plays guitar

And then at the band van Halen with that guitar lick at the band Van Halen with that guitar lick. So it is a spirit. It's kind of pitched as a spiritual sequel to Days in Confused. It's a Richard Linklater kind of lazy hangout movie, where, and in this time, it's a group of college baseball players in the days leading up to the first day of class. And of college baseball players in the days leading up to the first day of class. And at first it felt like super broy. And over time, you kind of these characters become much more charming and endearing. Now, granted, I am a straight white man.

So maybe it's just pitched at me. Pitch is upon, of course, because they're baseball players. Classic. Oh. But it, I feel like Richard Linklater just pitched at me. Pitch is a pun, of course, because they're baseball players. Classic. But it, I feel like Richard Linklater is going back and showing how that he can do a movie like Days Confused again and make it just as charming. And by the end of the movie, I could see myself returning

to it. And just as a movie that I would just have on the background and kind of live in this world over and over. So yeah, it's not very heavy on plot. So much so that after about 30 minutes my wife wanted to stop watching. Because nothing was happening. And everybody wants some. Exactly.

But it's good. I really liked it. Yeah. I just seemed like you're ending that recommendation on a downed note. Yeah. Well, it's a, you know, it's a qualified recommendation for something that has everybody in the title. I don't know if it is necessarily for everybody, but it is for me. And I shake my little bit. I see the little sassy smart.

Yeah, the audience can't see the sassy that was in that. Okay, guys. Well, I don't know how we managed to talk this long. I do. Yeah, because we haven't seen each other for a long time and we're buddies. And also, it seems like the later and the hotter it is, the longer we do this for some reason. So let's keep it going, yeah. No!

What are your plans? Let's do it all night. Well, I'm going to Max Funcon. I have this dope Max Funcon. Anyway, my name is Elliot Kaelin. Oh, okay. My name is... My name is...

We're Wellington. My name is Dan McCulley. Good night, everyone. Done. My name is... My name is... My name is Dan McCoy. Goodnight everyone. Done. I don't know if you guys follow me on Twitter, but... I did do a lot of Twitter. This weekend I was at the lake and I was...

Took a dip in the old swimming hole. Okay. And I was resting on the dock, you know know having a chat with my lady and my buds and He was like he would be a commercial. Yeah, and Something fucking bit me on the nipple dude. I think it was a fish or maybe a toy doll The reason I think it might have been now so I'm swimming around and I freak out of course You said you're on the top of my neck. You said you were on land on the dock. No, no, no, I was resting on it because it was like kayak launch,

so part of it was kind of in the water. I getcha. And, you know what, objection overruled. Thank you. And retract it. So I'm assuming that the reason it, at first I'm like, this gotta be a fish that's nibbling on my neck. And, but I think it also could be a turtle.

They're a common American nip nibbler. It could be a turtle because my nips look a little bit like little worms or pizza. Or pizzas. Your nips do look like pizza. Little pepperonis. Yeah. And so... So I climbed out of the water and yes, in fact, my little nipple was bleeding.

Oh, and so have you turned into a fish or a turtle or do we have to wait for a full moon? I don't know. If you want we can go to the bathroom again and check me all out. That was the weirdest, longest come on I've ever heard. Yeah. Yeah. or comedy and culture. Artists Don't. Listen or support it.