The Flop House - FH Mini 159 - Clearing the Floppet

Episode Date: September 26, 2026

Does that pun work? Like docket? Like "clearing the docket" over on our friends' show Judge John Hodgman? Anywhoooo. Stu leads this mini where we name our "Top Three's" and clear a big backlog of people suggesting mini topics ALL AT ONCE! (Not that we necessarily take suggestions, so don't feel obligated to flood us with more, ya weirdos!)Tickets for FLOP TV SEASON FOUR are available! Go pick up a pass for individual episodes or the whole dang season!Subscribe to our NEWSLETTER, “Flop Secrets! It’s the best way to keep up on all things Flop House! And please leave us a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts (or wherever you listen). It helps us keep the podcast healthy! Help support this show and unlock bonus content! Become a member at https://maximumfun.org/joinflop

Hey there, welcome back to another Flap House Mini. That is a mini version of the Flop House podcast. Now, normally here at the Flop House, we watch a bad movie and talk about it, but here at the Flop House Mini, we get all other kinds of business done. And boy, howdy, do we have a lot of business to get through today? I am joined by my two long-suffering co-hosts. Introduce yourself, fellas. Dan McCoy.

Elliot Kalan. That kind of energy is what I'm not. I need guys because D here at the Flop House. Should I, should you want more from me?

Is that it? More energy? Yeah, give me another take. Can you give me one with a little bit more sauce on it please? Beep,

Beoh, go go, go, go, Kaylan. Oh, that was good. Oh, yeah. Bomb,

bachach chach, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've never seen those. I've never seen those. Guys,

I did 23 in me and I found out I'm 25% morning DJ. Oh, yeah. So I'm getting in touch with my hair. And,

Soundboard DNA. Little 5% Michael Winslow in there. Exactly. Maybe 3% Winslow Homer. Interesting. So I do a lot of sound effects of ocean scenes. So as if this is your first time listening,

there's a Flamp House mini where we do other things. And one of the things about these minis is that I am constantly getting emails with suggestions for what we should cover in these minis. And they're just adding up guys. And I feel like, I know that we, you know, we've been pulling on a lot of overtime here at the flop house, but we really got to crack through this big list of things.

So I figured the easiest way to do it is to just crank it all out in one episode. If there's one thing each of us three guys has experience with, it is cranking it out. So let's do that, yeah. We have a three-way video group chat where we can confirm that. Yes, yes, where we crank it out together. Mm-hmm. called the circle crank. That was the third crank film title.

Oh, man. Too bad it never got made. Yeah, that's why it never got made. They said we can't put this out. It's too beautiful. So the only way we're going to be able to get through these, I've kind of taken these ideas and broken them down. What we are going to have to do is we are giving,

we have to agree to a top three of these items, okay? All three of us have to agree. agree to it before we can move on because this is going to be this is the official flop house record so and this is going to take us less time that we have to all agree on it we have to all i mean elliott do you what do you think we're just saying our favorites we have to agree to a top three that's what people are requesting in their constant emails that are filling up my email box for mini ideas at gmail dot com top three many ideas is what we're saying on each one of these things we're doing the top three that addresses that okay okay so for instance we're going to this is the first one this

This should be super easy. No issues here. All right. We have to agree to the official flop house. Top three Pixar movies, okay? What are the top three Pixar movies? I'm just going to, look, I'm going to lay down a chip and be like, please put it down.

Personally, I feel like Wally has to be on there. Yes, Wally would be the first one I would go to as well, you know. Wally's definitely on there, okay? All three of us can agree, but we'll figure out where it's placed. That was easy. What else is on there? What else is on there? I assume everything else.

I would say, I don't say the car's moving. movies, Elliot. I know you have seen Cars 2 more than any human alive. Only Cars 2 is what I would put. No, I would also, Up is another one I would want to put in there. That's a controversial one. How so? Well, I feel like that's the last of the like really classic era ones, I think. But I think it has, it's a little lumpier. It's a little like the beginning. Everyone remembers. Come on.

Beautiful, cure-jurking stuff. Cartoons can be sad, Dan. Sometimes cartoons can be sad. The storytelling throughout the rest of it is a little up and down. I don't know. I actually find that one of the things I like about is that there are elements that should not work together. I find work together pretty nicely in that movie. I always enjoy watching it.

I got a tear in my eye. I'm laughing. Maybe I got to revisit. You know what? I mean, I think if anything, this is inspiring me to revisit up. But, okay. So those are the, we definitely have one. We definitely have Wally.

Wally is definitely on there. What? Is good dinosaur going in there? It is not. No. Which of the Toy Story. You've got to have Toy Story 2 maybe? I don't know.

Three is so good. Two and three are both really great. Yeah. You could make a list where it was Wally and Toy Story 2 and Toy Story 3. I don't know if that is the list I would prefer, you know, but you could do that. Yeah. I might give the edge to two. Okay.

Personally, like we have to just pick one. I would either do two or... We just have to pick three. That's what we... Yeah, that's true. I mean, again, we could Solomon this and just put Toy Story 2 and Toy Story 3 on there. And then Toy Story 3 will be like,

no, but I shouldn't be on the list if it's going to hurt anybody else. And then we realize Toy Story 3 is the true mom. Mm-hmm. Yep, that's... Wait, that's what's about true moms. I mean, that's what the Solomon's is about.

Yeah, just like that, that HBO show, True Mom Tective. I mean, that would do numbers on like Hallmarker Lifetime, I think, True Mom Tective. So I think we can all agree on movies that are not making it onto the list. The Dinosaur is not making it onto the list. Brave's not making it onto the list. Okay. Soul's not making it onto the list. Okay.

What else? Any of the cars. None of the cars are going to get on there. Although I will say Cars 3, it's the best of the series. It's pretty good, but it's not up there with the best of the Pixar movies. What about, what about, is a Nemo on there? I don't, I don't need an onward. No onwards.

I would say, Nemo is one that I don't particularly love as much as other people. I agree. I don't know, like, that is a beloved one that has never done all that much for me, despite having a really funny voice work in there. It's not bad. It just doesn't reach the level to me for the other ones. Banjo Cazooey is not going to be on there. It's a video game, not a Pixar movie.

Yeah, that's actually a good point. My neighbor Totero is wonderful. as it is. It's not a Pixar movie, so that's not on there. Although, I feel like John Laster would gladly put himself in the opening of, would claim some credit for Totoro. He would claim some credit for Totoro. He'd get drunk at work, and he'd put his hands on a girl's legs at work. So, John Lester, we don't want him to do that stuff. The, who else? Let's see, like a pineapple. A lot of people like pineapple. I don't. Again,

it's not a movie. We wouldn't be on the list. Yeah. Pineapple Express is a movie, but it's not a Pixar movie. Not a Pixar, not even animated film. It's a live action film, yeah. I mean, their performances are pretty animated, though. That's true. That's a good point. What other Pixar, now I'm having trouble, like, Bugs Life I've never loved that much.

It's fine. It's okay. You know, there was a point at which I would have argued for The Incredibles. I tried to rewatch it recently, and it wasn't working for me that well. I will say Incredibles, I loved when it came out. And I also found I don't like it quite as much. Incredibles too. I didn't love that much,

but the first Incredibles, yeah, I feel like some of the, I don't know what it is. If I was going to go for a Bradbird at this point, I would go for Redittui, I think,

of his, oh, yeah, Rattitouy's on there. I'd want to go for the Iron Giant, but again, that's not a Pixar thing. Yeah, or yeah. Ratatoui, that's one where

when I first saw it, I was like, this is all right, but I think now I like it more than when I first saw it. I think Redatooie could be in there. I'll give you, you know what,

let's say ratatooie, Let's why not. Let's live dangerously. Let's say, if we're, let's, I could add a spite because you guys don't like Up as much, say let's get Reddit. Rattitooie has nothing in it that reaches the emotional heights of Up when Up has those emotional heights. But we're definitely putting a toy story on there, right? I mean, I definitely cry at the end of Rattitude when he has his little flashback. When he eats the food. Yeah, that's true. Let's do it.

It doesn't destroy me the way the beginning of Up does, but then nothing follows. See, like they. I mean, because his memory. memories of being a kid are not quite as sad as a man losing his wife after a life together. Well, I mean, a whole life lived, you know, just like the... And the music, the music and up is great. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

No, I think I'd be happy with Wally, Toy Story 2 and Rattitouy. That's one, two, and three. Yeah, just as a way to keep life moving along. I will... I will. Just to keep the episode moving, I will. I would put up instead of Ratatooey. But that's just me. Hey, let's keep the episode moving.

In the interest of being a functioning democracy, I'll take the compromise and I'll keep moving. Yeah. Okay. Next one, this one should be... But the next one I'm going to be a real asshole about it. Yeah, next one should be a little easier. Songs by the band of the cars. Do I know three songs? You've got to.

I got it. I must, right? I mean... Let me look them up. Maybe the memory of Phoebe Kate's is... influencing me, but I think it's a pretty great song. Moving stereo is a pretty great song. I'm a big fan of, what is it?

Let's go with the clapping. You're all I've got tonight. That's a good one. Let the Good Times roll. I know. With the Good Times roll, I know. I don't think I know enough songs by the cars, guys. Or I've heard them and I don't know them.

You don't know Best Friends Girl or just what I needed? Best Friends Girl. I got to need a girl like my best friends girl. Where can I find a best friend's girl? Where can I find a best friend's girl like that? Is that the song? I'm mashing up two songs. Okay.

I don't know the song you're talking about. That's insane. That's like when my ex-girlfriend said she'd never heard Love Shack before, and I'm like, we're the same age. You've been in a mall before. I don't think you can compare that. I feel like Love Shack was everywhere. The car is very successful band.

They had songs that you would certainly hear a lot, but Love Shack was everywhere, you know? Because how not? It's impossible to listen to it and not be happy. Like, you want to get up a dance. It rules. It rules. It's a great song. It's about going to a love shack. You're going to a shack full of love.

Do I want to go to a shack? No. There's love there? Maybe. How big is your car? How many people does it? And you get to bang, bang, bang on the door, baby? Yeah. The tin roof, admittedly, rusted. But still, you want to be in that shack, you know? I mean, the walls are shaking because everybody's moving around and around and around, you know. I guess, I guess, L.A. It's just showing what songs he can do for karaoke.

He can do this and his weird mashup of best-up of best. girl and Jesse's girl. I guess what I'm showing is I know the B-52 is much better than I know the cars. Yeah, name three songs. But B-52s? Stroblite. Wow. You didn't even go to rock lobsters the second one.

Hell, I didn't even think about rock-gast. Yeah, Rome, Planet Claire. Like, you went to Paz. Okay, so. So we've all established we know B-52's songs. Yeah. The listener should have asked about B-52s, but they asked about the cars instead. have had such stronger opinions about that, you know?

I'm going to, I'm pushing for Let's Go and I think moving in stereo. Okay. Do you want to say, uh, you know what's, I mean, I don't know if it's one of their best ones, but like, I just remembered, shake it up. Oh, yeah. Shake it up. I think they have a bunch of songs like that where I think of it as the music I hear in movies and commercials, but it's not necessarily like, I don't even think of them as

like, let the Good Times roll as a song where I think of as like, oh, that's something I hear on the soundtracks of things. Like, I don't necessarily hear it as a song. But it is a song, obviously. You should buy the record and listen to. I might, maybe I have to. We're going on, like, big songs, though. The third one I might go with is just what I needed, just because it's like...

Just what I needed. Kind of like, that's a car song? All right. Yeah. You, if they don't have at least like three cars songs in the Cars movies, LA, it's your favorite movie series we've already talked about it. That would be insane if you haven't heard a bunch of cars. No, they only play life as a highway over and over again.

That sounds like some kind of weird, like existentialist hell for me. Somehow they make a less soulful version of it. That feels like... Well, that's the Rascal Flats version. Rascal Flats is the less soulful version of a rock band. I'm like trapped in an arcade and there's a driving game and that's the theme music. And I have to hear it all day long. I once went with our friend of the show Matt Carman.

We went and took our kids to a slot car racing place in Brooklyn, and they had the old Ninja Turtles arcade game and no one was playing it, but just every couple seconds it would play the demo where it starts playing the beginning of the theme song and it goes, Cowabunga! And then 30 seconds would go by. And then it would play again.

And I just looked at the proprietors of the slot car place who were both elderly people. And I was like, you have to sit and hear this all day, every day. They don't hear it anymore, Elliot. They must not even notice. it anymore, you know. Yeah. Yeah, it's just like audio mush to them. Yeah. Okay.

So that was relatively painless. Audio mush. Some of the best audio mush, yeah. That was relatively painless. We're just grinding away. Next one is Saturday Night Live hosts. Hosts? Oh, wow. I mean, you gotta go Steve Martin for one.

Yeah. You'd have to. Steve Martin would probably be number one. He's like the classic. Yeah. Okay. He brings something special with him. And before Dan, says his two favorites, Elon Musk and Donald Trump. Let's just say, I don't think we should pick them. I don't think we should pick them now. Steven Segal.

Not Steven Segal. I would put Tom Hanks. Agent Brody. I put Tom Hanks as a sincere reply. He's another one where he always, he adds to what he's doing there. He always seems like he's game for it. He's genuinely a very funny and smart performer. We should have a lady in there.

Melissa McCarthy. I'll push for Montless McCarthy. I think she throws herself in there. I'm thinking about it. I'm not going to argue too hard with it. Like, never been one of my faves, but... But I'm trying to... I'm trying to think who else I would counter with.

I mean, she's good. I think she's really good. Yeah, I would have no problem with her... Well, maybe I should just... Or you want to push for another five-timer, like Emma Stone or... Tina Fey doesn't count. She's a former cast. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, we're not counting former cast members. All right, that's, yeah, we can narrow them out. No, no, no, I'll go with Melissa McCarthy. I do, I do like Emma Stone a lot as a host as well, but she is good. But I don't think she has the, like, the animal intensity. No, but she does. Well, Melissa McCarthy. She does a fun character work that I, I would love someone to tap into.

This is a, this is a snobby thing for me to say, or a snobby, dumb thing. Melissa McCarthy, Emph Stone is a very, funny actress. Melissa McCarthy is a comedy person. Like Melissa McCarthy is, is, is, comedy is a part of her in a way that I don't necessarily think it is the same way for a performer like himself. Now, I, again, we put, I put Tom Hanks on there. He, I don't know if he's a comedy person or not. Maybe he's a comedy person adjacent, you know. I mean, he's in a comedy called Bachelor Party. I think he played a stand-up in Punchline. I think I'm just being influenced by Melissa McCarthy's recent projects have not matched her talent. And so that is a hundred-

There are these projects... Cloud over her a little bit. I don't think her work has ever matched her potential. I think she has the potential to be one of the funniest film performers, maybe ever. And I've... Every time I see something with her in it, I'm always like, I wish this was like... It's like watching a lot of Peter Sellers movies where you're like,

I wish this movie was as good as you should be... As your talent deserves, you know? And Steve Martin, of course, is a comedy genius, you know, so... Okay, wow. I think if I met him, I'd be very frightened that I would... displease him or that he would be rude to me in some way. But, you know, his work is very inspirational to me. I mean, not really that all.

I mean, it's the part and parcel. He seems gracious but cold. Like, I don't think he would be mean to you. But I think he's someone, his stand-up comedy work, I find genuinely inspiring. I find it revolutionary, you know. Yeah. That was kind of easier than I expected. I thought we were going to battle on that one.

I don't know if I'm talking about. Okay. How about movies starring a dog. Oh. Now, okay. It can be in a guest starring role to you. But it has to be like one of the top bills. Now an animal dog or like Warren Beatty?

Animal dog, not Warren Beatty. All right. Unless he is doing the voice of a dog character. So I guess Bonnie and Clyde is off the list. A little searching because I don't have a lot on the top of my. This movie starring a dog. Have you guys ever seen the movie White Dog? Samuel Fuller movie?

No. About the racist dog? About the racist dog. I haven't seen it. I'm aware of it. No. It's a dog that's been trained by a racist, and now these people have to deprogram it, basically. Oh, wow, that's crazy.

It's a good movie. It's not, maybe it's not one of the best, but it's a good movie. But at least that is a movie about a dog that is a serious movie as opposed to like Beethoven, Air Bud, you know, that kind of stuff. Now, which Marmaduke movie are we going to go with that? Oh, boy.

Are we, now, are we talking about animated movies also, or movies were an actual live dog. Yeah, the rule doesn't say anything against animated. dogs. Okay, because that changes things a sly airbud reference, I think, from Stuart there, a dog movie. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Nothing in the rule book. Now that I think about it, it's hard for me to think of any animated dog movies that I think are particularly amazing. All dogs go to heaven? Yeah, like I said, hard for me to think of any animated dog movies that I think are amazing. The animated Marmaduke movie we covered for the podcast.

Once again, I think. The Shaggy Dog or the Shaggy DA? Once he do it, just like, before he was employed or after? Are those movies starring a dog? or a man who turns into a dog. I'll say it's starring a dog. Okay, I guess the dog plays the part of the dog. Yeah.

I mean, I think I probably will put Beethoven on there because it's got Charles Groden in it too. And a big dog and Charles Groden is a good combination. That's a good combination. You're not going to say like Turner and Hooch or K-9. It's not a good movie. K-9 is also not a good movie. I think I'd like, let's not put movies on that are bad.

I'm going to... I'll put a real one out there. not necessarily one of my favorite Disney movies, but a good one, 101 Dalmatians. Oh, I thought you're going to say, Balthow.

That's not a Disney movie, Balthow. The animated one, Elliot, not one of the... Oh, okay, not the live action. I'm just like, I'm not saying necessarily that's a... Homeward Bound's a dog movie.

I'm going to put homeward Bound, I'm going to suggest Homeward Bound on there. You're going to put like Milo and Otis or something on there? No. I don't want to celebrate that kind of mistreatment. I love a... Angry Ellie. Cujo?

I don't feel like the Cujo movie lived up to my hopes. What about man's best friend? Do you remember that one with this experimental dog? Yeah, escapes, yeah. I mean, it does have Lance Hendrickson. It does. Far from home, the adventures of yellow dog.

That is one I'm not familiar with. Yellow Dog's Adventures. What about these straw dogs? Their dogs made out of straw, or are they just like sleeping in straw? Yeah. You know what? We did it on the flop house, and it's a CGI dog,

but I might put on that, nah, it's too high for it, that call the wild movie with Harrison Ford, which is like not a great movie, but to be honest, like, it's a, I think it's kind of a solid movie, but maybe it loses points for being a CGI movie. I don't know.

Well, we, I mean, I actually, I'll back you up on the 101 Dalmatians. I remember liking that quite a bit, despite the one song at the end with the cats. Oh, the same you said. Yeah. Wait, that's from Lady in the Tramp. Oh, wait.

That's a dog movie. Lady in the Tramp. Actually, you know what? I would put Lady in the Tramp above 101 Dalmatians. Yeah, yeah. If only just the last time I saw 101 Dalmatians was, I mean, I love Gueldovill. She's great. She's like, she's not quite Ursula, but she's getting to Ursula, the greatest of all Disney villains.

And but the last time I saw that movie with my kids when they were younger, they found it very upsetting. And I was like, oh, this movie is all about people on the run from the Nazi. That's what 101 Dalmatians is about. And it was, and I felt like it was a little too harsh for the kids. Lady and the Tramp, aside from the Siamese song, which is a catchy song, even if it's not, you know, if it's problematic. It's got the scene with the spaghetti where they accidentally kiss. That's maybe the greatest scene in any movie involving a dog. I'd argue that it is the greatest dog movie moment.

So yeah, I'm going to say Lady in the Tramp. Well, here's one that, like, I'm going to toss out there that is not necessarily a favorite movie of mine, but is perhaps the iconic dog movie and that's Old Yeller. I don't think I've ever actually seen Old Yeller. I've only seen the end of it. I remember seeing him being bummed. I feel like more than once

at some school thing. They're like, well, we're not going to teach you anymore. We're going to wheel in a thing and show you Old Yeller. Bum out the kids. I mean, you could put on there. It's certainly a classic. I've never seen it, I don't think, but I know of it as a classic. So we got Lady in the Tramp in that top three.

Old Yeller. Maybe Old Yeller. Maybe. What was that? Homeward Bound? I'm gonna, oh. Frankenweeney? Franken, I never saw the feature length one. I've seen the short thing.

No, I mean, the short is great. Does it count? So you said dogs could be in supporting roles, right? It would have to be a prominent supporting role. Is it too much of a stretch to say Toto in the Wizard of Oz? Because the Wizard of Oz is maybe the greatest movie ever made. Toto is a prominent character in it. He gets a lot of screen time.

But he is not second build, certainly. It's not necessarily a TOTO. It's not really a Toto movie. Dune is a Toto movie because Toto did the score for it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I do think that Toto is a member of the team. That's true. Sure, he's the demolitions expert.

I thought he was the religious guy who goes crazy. Yeah, he's the con man who can talk his way into anywhere, yeah. In a way, he kind of is. Okay, let's say, let's give it. So we have Wizard of Oz with Toto. We have Lady in the Tramp, and the third was, Old Yeller. Okay, we did it, guys. We'll do it. We'll do it.

I mean, official. I think the, yeah, I just, I have to speak up for Wizard of Oz because I've been realizing more and more as I get older. I think it's maybe my favorite movie of all times. Like, if I'm being honest to myself, I think the Wizard of Oz is probably my favorite movie ever made. I think it's just maybe the most magical movie ever made, you know. Okay, we're going to do one more before we take a little break. We are flying through these guys. The next one is Kaiju, not starting with the letter D.

Oh, wow, that's the main two. Wow. Elliot's category here. And you also can't have Gidre on there either, who's, I would say, the second best after the big man himself. What about, King, Gidra. Dan, let's not play games. Let's not be cute here.

I can't help be cute, Elliot. Yeah, that's true. You're just naturally cute. I mean, because then, like, let's think about who we could put on there. We could put Rodan on there, who I feel like I love his original move. After that, he never quite lives up to... He is very much the third of the big trio of Toho Monsters after Godzilla and Mothra.

Mothra could be on there, get a lady on the list. Mothra definitely could go on there. And Mothra had some more modern movie. I mean, more modern. They were probably like 10, 15 years ago, I think. She had some recent movies. Let's see. What other...

I mean, in terms of the Gamer movies... There's some fun ones on there. I'm trying to remember which is the one. who has a head that's shaped like a cleaver, but that's G. I'm talking about the other movies in the camera series, you know,

not Gaios, obviously, because it starts with a G. Does Mr. King Kong belong on there? Here's the thing. Is King Kong a kaiju? That's the question to ask. He's in the,

I would say the American King Kong is not, he's not big enough, probably. But if King Kong is, you know what, let's just say he's allowable. It's the mighty Peking man, then the version that would be allowed.

Or the gargantuanas, but that starts with G. You can't have the Gantuanche is. You know, let's say King Kong's available. That he can do it. Because he's, then he would be number one. He is that, he's, I think, one of the fan Kaiju that people...

I hope Sanger Canaan's listening to this episode and getting angry that we're forgetting obvious ones. I'm sure we're forgetting. I mean, I don't know like the Ultraman characters that well, you know, there's a ton of them. I keep thinking of other ones start with G. I'm like, Geigen? No, starts with Gaijin. Mecca Godzilla.

Godzilla, comma, mecca. Dan, you've been notably quiet. I'm looking at a poster for Reptilicus. It's pretty cool. Reptilicus is pretty crappy. Pretty cool poster though. It's a cool poster. It is a cool poster.

As someone who saw that movie probably 15 times when we did it for Mystery Science Theater. And the same goes for for Yungari, the other kaiju movie that we did. I mean, I just don't I don't have the same

depth of kaiju knowledge. You know what? This is one of these things that I like the I like the fact that it exists in the world. I like the Sure, like Kevin Smith movies. I guess. I like the aesthetic.

I like, but I find most traditional kaiju movies with the exception of the original Godzilla kind of boring. I mean, you gotta really like it. You got to sit through a lot of talking to get to the monsters, just the fun part. I mean, but the, but you got to see.

you're going to want to see Godzilla minus zero when it comes out, right? But this is referring back to another podcast that we recorded before this one, but I believe we'll release after, probably, if I remember the schedule. Speaking of 4DX, which we were, a friend was talking about how, like, they saw Kaiji movies with like a Godzilla movie with like 4DX and how you think, like, oh, this will be like the perfect movie for it, but you forget how much of it is, just people in rooms talking and like boardrooms like making decisions. Oh, Professor Somerso, yeah.

There was like a moment that in 4DX they were like playing like a fax machine that was like rolling down the hall. Essentially like the camera's on the machine as it rolled down and you feel like little jiggles as you were the machine. That's pretty exciting. That's very funny. It really puts you in the movie. So here's, I would start the list with King Kong at number one. Okay. And I would put Mothra at number two.

Okay. Stuart, what do you think? Are there any others that come to mind for you? Man, I feel like this is a lot harder than I expected when I got this question because there are so many Gs. There are so many J. And otherwise it's like Hedora, Ebera,

like they're not, the non-G-1, you know, Megalon, the non-G-1s are not always the best of them, you know. And you know what, I might, for number three, just because I like them, I might put Angairis, who first shows up in the second, Godzilla movie.

Some places it was released as Godzilla Raids again. Some place it was gigantic, the fire monster. But he's like a spiny back turtle. He's on four legs most of the time. And I really liked that he's got a different kind of look and movement to the other kaiju because he's different silhouette. Exactly. But he's in a lot of the movies.

He's super fun. He's got a lot of attitude. So I think that's what I think I might put Angairus at number three. I do want, if Zander is listening, I do want him to write in and tell us which ones we're forgetting. And I'll say, if you haven't read Kaiju Max, it's a really wonderful comic book series. It's one of the best. Great. Pick it up.

It starts out, you're like, this is going to be a joke. And then you're like, this comic is making me cry. Why is it so sad? Why is it so sad? Why is it so powerful? So that is a perfect spot for us to take a quick break. And we'll be back to finish this list so we can finally get some rest around here. Your captains, Janet Varnie and John Hodgman.

As we come in for a landing on season three, we want you to know that all episodes of this season of E. Pluribus Motto are available now. Be ready to binge ours devoted to the Yellow Hammers of Alabama. The tree octopi or octopuses of Washington or Washington. And motto's official, unofficial, Latin and otherwise, from states like Nebraska, Florida, and more. Once again, all E. Pluribus Motto episodes are available now

on maximum fun.org or wherever you get your podcasts. We hope you've enjoyed your journey with us and we look forward to traveling with you again soon. Please stay seated until the podcast comes to a complete stop. Hey Alexis. Hey Ella. What animal has the most teeth? I would guess a shark.

A snail. No, snails don't have teeth. They have thousands and they are freaky looking. No, I don't want that to be true. Okay. Did you know that the hippocampus in your brain is named after the half-horse, half-fish sea creature found in Greek mythology? I didn't know that, but we're meant to be doing animal trivia

and hippocampus isn't a real animal. Well, that doesn't matter on comfort creatures. You're right, it doesn't matter at all. Comfort creatures is a cozy show for lovers of animals of all shapes and sizes, real and unreal. If that sounds like your cup of tea, then join us every Thursday for new episodes on maximum fun.org. I'd like to say that this podcast is sponsored in part by Squarespace. Well, if you like to say it, go out of it.

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Every now and then on the flop house, we have what's called a jumbotron. What is a jumbotron? A jumbotron is a message paid for by our listeners so that we'll say it.

And I am going to say this one, this gembo-tron, is from witty and is for DRIZ. And the message is, thank you for always being my Godzilla buddy and bad joke sounding board. We'll always have the time you came all the way to Boston to ask the peaches what they would apologize for on Young Kippur. Can't wait to hear all about your new adventures after escaping this hell country. Miss you, love you, and can't wait to celebrate with you. What a sweet message. And I appreciate it. It's a little nod to my own heritage.

So, again, if you would like to have a sweet message like that stated on the flop house, go to, Dan, where do we go to? Maximumfun.org slash jumbotron. And you can pay to have your words come out of our mouths. Any words. Well. Well, maybe not any words. Within reason, within reason. But, hey, if you'd rather pay to see us say our own words rather than your words, then

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It's like we have our own TV show and we do it all ourselves so that the networks can't tell us that we can't get the green life. They can't cancel us, man. And I mean that in the first, original term of canceling a show, not like canceling a person. We can be canceled. And it's why we, you know, don't want to be careful about which words you pay for that we say. So go to theflophouse.

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That's six episodes with a cost of five. You miss some episodes. That's okay. You can watch the videos of them, and it's just like watching a real TV show. That's theflophouse. com. Okay, we're back, and we are pushing our way through this,

big old heap of mini ideas. We've got true. We've got through three, I think. Of a bunch of different things. It hasn't come to blows yet. So the next one thing we're going to do is top three, we have to decide the top three is the official ranking top three pasta shapes. Okay.

Ooh. Okay. Sorry, I was momentarily distracted by the idea that would come to blows because it would have to be between you and I, Stuart, since we're in the same room. Otherwise, we've been punching the computer. trying to punch Elliot. I would buy a plane ticket,

take it over there, cartoon style, little red dots, and then I would arrive, and then I would punch Elliot. Do you guys ever heard that stand-up routine by Pervy George Carlin,

where he's like, sometimes it comes to blows and sometimes they blow to come. I'm like, pervy George Carlin, this is not appropriate. But it does sound like pervy George Carlin

doesn't smoke as much. No, I don't think so. Take care of himself. Yeah, his main advice is just masturbation. So anyway, let's talk about postage shapes. Speaking of things

you could masturbate with, let's talk about pasta shapes. Yeah, sure. So, I think, I may have some controversial opinions on this. I don't know. Guys, I want to put Ziti on there. I don't know if that's controversial or not. I was going to say, fuck you, but I'm, you're making me think.

But also, I got to get clear on, Ziti's a tube, it's one of the tubes, right? It's a two. Yeah, it's one of the tubes. It's the one that's kind of, it's kind of, it's kind of slanted at the ends, you know. It's a little narrower.

It's not Peene. No, Penet, that's, that comes in a chafing dish with vodka sauce, and that is the only way Penne's ever served. Oh, you know what? Penne is the one that I got mixed up. Penny is the one that's slanted at the ends. Zee is the one that's not, but I'm still going with Ziti. I like a shorter tube, so I'm more of a rigatoni guy.

Okay, interesting. How is Rigetone these days? Not pretty good. No complaints. I mean, well, talking about tubes, talking tubes. I just want to say... What we're two freaks over here? Two boy over here?

Two boy, yeah. I prefer... What is it? Bucatini. He's going to go to Bucatini, the longest tube. Well, I prefer it to spaghetti. I feel like spaghetti is used a lot

but as sort of the standard pasta. But if you want something that's going to hold the sauce, the Bucutini is going to do you better. You know what? I'm going to go with you on that because I like an ice carbinar. and Bucatina is really good for that.

So, yeah, I'd say Bucatina also. What are you guys feelings on Orchetti? I love it. Oh, I love an Orchieti. What about radiatory? The lower radiators? I don't know if I know that one. Oh, look it up.

They look incredible. I have to look at what it looks like again. Oh, yeah, radiatoria. I like, yeah, I like radiator. It's like the crinkle-cut French fry of pasta. Yeah. What was that? Farfal?

Or Farfali? I don't know how you. Okay, wait, I got to look that one out. Yeah, Farfale is good. It's the little bow tie. It's like a little vampire bat bow tie. Oh, right. That's a little bow tie.

Oh, wait. No, I'm thinking of the wrong thing. Boathe's fine. I'm not... What am I thinking of? Dan throwing far away into the bus. You're not thinking of Diedelini, right? I'm always thinking of Diedlini.

I actually don't know what that is. It's like tiny little tubes. Are you thinking about like Fusili? No, too silly. You know what I was thinking of? Papardel. I like Papadale. Oh, okay.

Okay. That's kind of a fatter noodle, right? Yeah, it's kind of, it's like the, it's like the, it's like, it's a little bit more like, what's that, the Asian noodle. That's the, that's the flatter one. Oh, yeah, like in, in some Thai. Like drunken noodles or something. Yeah. I would say, so I think let's put, let's put Bucatini right on that list.

Okay, Bucatini's in the top three, but we're not placing it yet. But I don't think it should take up the tube slot. No, no, no. No, it's a different type of tube. Yeah, yeah. It's a long, thin tube. I would say, like, yeah, I would still want to try to put a Ziti. I'll accept a penny, you know.

Maybe we could be... I would argue rigatoni over both of those on. But I would also love to put Orchetti on there. If we're all... That was the one I thought was going to be controversial. Yeah. You know. I think, yeah, we all kind of express an extreme love of Orchetti.

I think Orchetti is on there, and I'm happy with any of the tubes. Honestly, the tubes are very atone. Both of me. You know what? Just to keep, again, I feel like I'm the compromiser on this one. I'm the one who keeps things from getting from, keeps us from coming to blows. I'll be okay with fricotony. I find it a little, it's a little floppy for me when it comes to tubes, but it still tastes good.

It's a tube that tastes good. So what's like, well, now that we're talking about tasteable tubes, what's number one? We have the three on the list. Yeah, so our list is in some, in no particular order. I feel like Orchietti might take the top spot. I think so. Yeah. If he had such a quick,

I thought you guys were going to say no. It looks too much like an ear. I don't want to feel like I'm eating little ears. But I think we all had such a positive response to it. Let's put that number one. Orki-A-N-A number one. Then I'd say Bucatini number two because I don't want rigatoni to be too high off the list. I don't want it to get a swelled head.

Okay. Okay. Okay. That's fine. Okay, yeah. We decided that's our top three pasta shapes. We did it. Obviously, if we have any pasta chefs in the out there, write us the letter complaining.

Okay, next one is. Unless you agree. Read the letter saying right on, you got it right. Yeah. Yeah. Celebrating us. Next up is top three X-Men villains' comics. Well, not movies.

Not movies. I mean, whether or not it's comics or movies, you've got to put Magneto up at the top. Magneto's in there, yeah. It's hard not to just go Magneto Apocalypse, Mr. Sinister, you know, but I wonder if there's, but let's talk about it. Mr. Sinister, I could maybe budge on. I'm a Mr. Sinister diehard over here. He's like a creepy freak and weird.

That's like the one I had the least familiar with. He is, so the problem with Mr. Sinister is that they never went with the original origin that Chris Claremont had for him. Because Mr. Sinister is so outwardly evil in every way. He's so cartoonishly evil. He looks like a child's idea of what an evil guy would be. And that was the original, apparently that was the original origin was that he was going to be that there was a kid who had the power to project this kind of like his idea of like an adult. villain out front. But instead he's become this like, he's a, you know, 150-year-old geneticist or whatever who, you know, is, as with all of the, as with all of the X-Men characters, they have all

become real housewives at a certain point, but he's the one who's become the most real housewife of all of them. So I could see, but I mean, but I love Apocalypse on there. I mean, he does have style like a real housewife. He does, yeah, that's true. Magneto, I got to put on there because he's the flip side of Xavier's dream. Yeah. And I mean, I'm shocked that Elliot hasn't mentioned his fucking legacy over here. Mr. Sauron. Here's the thing.

I love Sauron is a character I genuinely love. I think the reason I would fail to put him on is it really doesn't make sense that he's an X-Men. For listeners out there, not only is a panel of a comic from Spider-Man

and the X-Men that Elliot wrote gone far beyond this circle and is now a viral meme, right? Well, that is my cultural legacy, is that panel. And that is, it's so memed that there's also a magic the gathering card of Sauron that has abilities based on that. And the image on the card is based on that story also. Like, their source material for that Sauron card is basically just my comic, like the one I wrote.

So, but at the same time, does Sauron reach the heights of the great X-Men villains? Not necessarily. Like, he's such a, he's, there's nothing mutant really related. about him, you know? He's not a meeting. He could just as easily go after the Avengers if he really wanted to. Does he use mind control to get freaky with

ex-babs? Yes, which is, not to get freaky with X-Baves, but he does use mind control, which is a, which is an X-Men thing. That is, I mean, Chris Claremont was all about mind control, submission and dominance, you know, and his, his fingerprints are still very heavy on the X-Men franchise.

Are the, I don't know. Do the Sentinels count as, like, a unit as... Yeah, we could, as... You know what? I would say, yeah, because there you have. So then here's the thing I think you need in these X-Men villains. They have to be thematically related to the X-Men core. What is the X-Men about?

They're the next step in evolution. They're feared and hated by the world. And it's all about being an outsider and being oppressed and being hated for just who you are. Magneto is very much about that and became more so as the character developed over time. Apocalypse is the version of the X-Men characters where he's like, yeah, we are the best. We are the best. And my whole being is just about pushing humanity so that only the strongest survive

and only the best of everything are there. And he's got a cool. He should not work. He's like got a clown face. He's like a big purple guy. His belt buckle has an A on it, which is, it's all goofy as on it out. But he's so cool. He's just so cool.

He can change shape and do whatever. Basically, Apocis's powers to do basically whatever he wants. He's a godlike being in some ways. and he works for the Celestials in some way that has never really been fully explained. I think the Sentinels work is... You're going to say Strife, I know, aren't you? Here's, okay, let me defend Strife.

Let me make my case for Strife. Then I'll talk of the Sentinels. Strife is such... He is so great once you lean into the fact that he is so melodramatically over the top with everything. He's like, he's a clone of cable. He's got his armor is covered with spikes. It looks like it would be paid.

painful to wear. And when he talks, he's never like, now I'll get my revenge. He's like, ooh, mommy and daddy, the cursed child has returned. You know, like, it's always, I reread the executioner song a while back. I've read the book, The Excusioner song by Norman Mailer. That's not what I'm talking about. The crossover that is a very strife centered crossover that came out in the 90s when I was like- Did Norman Mailer write that arc? Yes, Norman Mailer was the guy who plotted out that arc. And strife in it is so hilariously over the top and everything he says. He's a great character. I really love him when he's done that way.

If Fabian Nassieza is writing a strive comic, sign me up. But I think the sentinels are the third point in that diamond where Magneto is the mutant who thinks to save mutants, you got to do the opposite of what Professor X wants. Apocalypse is the mutant who wants to crush humanity because humanity does not deserve to exist if mutants exist. And the sentinels are the human response when humans overreact. They're the, I would say living, but they're mechanical. They're the physical embodiment of hate and fear and oppression in this robotic form, you know, and they only exist in order to go after mutants. So, yeah, Dan, I think the Sentinels are real solid.

That would be my picks would be Magneto Apocalypse Sentinels. I mean, you have made such a strong case, Elliot, but it still, it breaks my heart to lose, you know, the style points guys like Mr. Sinister or the weird demon guys like Sim and what. And Nasterer and all that. I'm also fond of... Madeline Pryor and Hurst. I mean, Madeline Pryor was a mystery of the character. Obviously, the Goblin Queen, baby.

I'm fond of the brotherhood of evil mutants, but I can't single one out there. The Blonde. The Blonde. It is incredible. It is incredible. It's like Jack Kirby was such an idea machine, but it's like, okay, we've got these characters, the X-Men. They've all got amazing powers.

Number one, Magneto, controls magnetism. I love it. That's great. Number two. Issue two, the Vanisher. He can teleport. Okay, that's all right. I mean, it's not, it's a cool power.

a lot you can do with it. Number three, the blob. What's his power? Big fat guy. Can't budge him. That's the third, that's the third villain they're going to go up against. Number three. That's the third one. And then who are they going to go after after that? Then it's that Brotherhood of Evil Mutants. They're going to team up. All their greatest villains are going to team up. Okay, they've had three issues so far. So the greatest villains and this, I mean, they introduced Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch that way, or enjoying actors. Okay, we did that. Who's up next? Well, we got to do Unisly Untouchable. What does he do? He's got a four. Warsfield, can't budge him.

Wasn't the Blobs thing that you couldn't budge him? Yeah, well, you can't budge this guy either. And then there's an issue not long after that where the blob and Eunice team up and it's like, come on, guys. Like what is... But anyway... One wonders like,

Jack Kirby, are you just annoyed at people being slow on the subway? And of course there are the great... And of course there are the great X-Men villains. You got the Juggernaut. You got Celine. The Hellfire Club.

The Hellfire Club. Yeah, you got all them. You got Cameron Hodge. Cameron Hodge. I've never loved, but, you know. Yeah, and I'll go with Ellie. Ellie's the expert on this as far as I'm in the story. I mean, there's a, you can, if you could put Black Tom and the Juggernaut together as the first

kind of openly gay couple in comics, but I think you got to go with. But at this point, all the X-Men characters are essentially gay in some way, which is fine. But what about, you didn't say Nimrod. Don't love Nimrod, the Sentinel from the future. What about Nanny and Orphan Maker? Love Nanny and Orphan Maker. I love them. They're great.

I mean, the things also, a lot of these characters have been. What about adversary? Alias. Adversary is a little bit vague, a little vague as a character, just kind of an evil demonic force, you know, vaguely, problematically indigenous but not based on anything real, you know. All the other ones I keep like, Sabretooth is in there, you know. Pierce, but he's a Hellfire Club guy. He's a Hellfire Club guy.

Jason, what's his name? Who's the Mind control guy? Mastermind. Mastermind, yeah. But he's kind of. He's also in the Hellfire Club at a certain point. And he's in the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants. Okay, well, I think we agree to it.

Took us long enough, I guess. I mean, because we were having fun with it. Okay, swimming strokes. Top three swimming strokes. Crawl. Got to have the crawl on there. The breaststroke. Breastroke and the backstroke. The, what is it called?

The butterfly can get the fuck out of here. Wow. Don't want it, don't want it. Yeah. I actually kind of like the butterfly, but I don't think it's top three. I mean, it looks, all right, here's it depends on what we're talking about. It looks cool. It looks, but you don't want to do it.

People who are good at it, they look amazing in the water. They look like dolphins. It's like in baseball pitching, there's like the signed winder pitches where they kind of throw it almost underhand to the side. It looks super cool when it works, but it doesn't work most of the time. And every time Sammy tries to do that, we're playing catch, it annoys the shit out of me. As a kid who was on swim team and had to learn all the strokes, a butterfly is a pain in the ass to do.

I think I'm going to go with Dan's rank. I think that's fine. If Stewart's okay with it. Yeah, I'll go with it. I mean, specifically for having to do, but I was... Butterfly's pretty cool. It looks pretty cool. Fully knowing the jokes to follow, I was a breaststroke man.

That was, that was... There's nothing you can... No possible. It's not like if Dan was like, yeah, I was a wife's butt stroke guy. But to me, that's like the most natural feeling. You're like swimming like a little frog in the water. I agree. When I swim, I use the breaststroke, yeah.

So. Because who wouldn't want to be a little frog? We all, we all want to be. We all, I think that, I think Freud talked about that. No, Sigmund Frog actually talked about it. Sigmund Frog, yeah. Okay. Oh, Sigmund Frog.

I feel like that's a character who's going to show up in the Battletoads movie someday. Okay, so top three books read for a high school English class. for high school English class. I mean, is it books that we liked at the time or that we look back on? We're planning a curriculum. We got to pick three books. Because I'm a big fan of the Great Gatsby, but I read it in high school. Yeah, that's a banger.

I read as an adult and I'm like, this is an amazing book. This is a fantastic book. Yeah, that's like, that's probably number one with a bullet for me. Yeah. Hard to, I, like, I just have such a bad memory of, like, what these things were. Like, I just, what are you going to do? like do one of the do one of the shakespeare's throw a shakespeare in there. Throw it.

You could show a thrakespeare in there. You could throw a Shakespeare in there. I think for high, you know what? I'm going to put Midsummer Night's Dream on there. I think that's a really good introductory Shakespeare. Okay. In high school we read King Lear, we read Macbeth. We read Romeo and Juliet.

But I think they're always like, Romeo Juliet, that's about teens. You should read that one. And I'm like, this is not giving teens, great ideas. but I'd love to get, let's see, we read Native Sun in high school and I thought that was really great. No, I'm just like, what were like the ones that definitely you had, like I was never a Lord of the Flies guy

and that was like, oh, I love Lord of the Flies. That's a classic. But that's a middle school book. That's not a high school book. That's a middle school book. I mean, adults can read it too, but I feel like that's a good middle school. Yeah, what about like Portrait of the Artist or something?

I never read it. I wasn't in that class. I've read very little Joyce. Oh, okay. Well, we'll talk about that another time. Okay. I've read a lot of Flan O'Brien. What about, uh, a different marriage, other?

What about, uh, some Virginia wolf? I mean, I mean Orlando be a great one to put in there. I love the book of this. I remember in high school, I read McTeague. McTeague's a good book. No, it's a great book. I had a great time. But like, looking back, I'm like, wow, they made, they had us read McTee.

That's a weird book for, that is a weird book for them to have you read. Like, I mean, it's a great book. Well, it was the basis of the movie Greed. I think if it's known at all, yeah, it's mostly known as the base of a greed, again, which means not a, but it's by Frank Norris. And it is, he was in the kind of Jack London world. But McTeague is all about a guy who is, he's like an unlicensed dentist in kind of turn of the century San Francisco. And he and his wife win the lottery and the ownership of the money that they get. They get it, but they're afraid.

but they never want to spend it. And the ownership of it essentially drives them mad. And he ends up dying in Death Valley. Spoiler alert. But McTeague's, aside from the anti-Semitic parts, McTeague is a really great book. His book, The Octopus. Dan, if you like McTeague,

I'd also recommend the octopus. The first part of his trilogy of the wheat, which went unfinished. But the octopus is really good about farmers rising up against the railroad barons when they reset the rates for wheat. I always thought there'd be a really, there's a good mini-series to be on in the octopus.

What about some Jane Eyre? Jane Air is really great. I could go on there too. What about Catch 22? Catch 22 is great. I go on there too. I mean, like, these are great books. I just don't, I did not.

These were not ones that were. I took a different AP English class. Yeah, I guess so. I mean, if we're limiting it to the... We didn't read that in class. If we, if we're limiting to books that we read in class, then I would put Great Gatsby on there. I'd put Jane Eyre on there.

Okay. What else would I put on there? Well, you already said a Midsummer Night's Dream. Midsummer Night's Dream, but I'm wondering if I want that on there, actually. Hmm. I mean, I didn't read it in high school, but I love the books. I'm happy with Jane Eyre being one of them. Yeah.

We read that in high school, and I didn't like it as much as I like it now. That's probably because I was like a teenage boy and I was like, man, we're stupid. I don't like Sengen. I don't care about this. Get back to Rochester and his wife. She did what? Yeah. Yeah, I'm having, like, I'm looking at all these lists and none of them are, like, they're all, they're all things that I'm like, were these high school books?

I remember Slaughterhouse Five. Middle school books or they're like, not for me. Yeah, like Slaughterhouse Five is a high school book. I mean, I feel like Native Sun is a, it was solid. Yes. I remember a lot in high school. I put Native Son on there. I think that's a good one.

Okay. And it has to be the unedited one where he and his friends masturbate in the movie theater. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Put that, Stuart, note that down.

Not the edited one where they don't do that, yeah. Okay, so we decided on that. Okay, next is a bagel order. Top three bagel orders. Bagel orders? See, orders.

I may have to step aside. type of bagel. Because I don't like having, I don't like having a lot of stuff from my bagel. What type of bagel do you like? What's the number one bagel? I mean, if I'm ordering a bagel,

usually I'm just going to have plain bagel. I just want that platonic idea of a bagel, you know? Wow. And I go the opposite direction. Give me an everything, baby. I like it all. I would, I would pick everything over a plane. Shame the bagel order of the only Jew on the podcast.

Yeah. I mean, I had a rabbi at my wedding. That's true. That's true. You did. You had a questionably licensed rabbi He had a badge. He did have a badge that said Rabbi on it. This is not a joke. They just said it Jewish.

What are we talking? I also do like that. If I said like blueberry, then yes, I would be in no place to talk about. I don't want that. What about like a pump? Look, if I'm not, what about a sesame? If I'm not getting in everything, I'm going to get a sesame or maybe an onion. The other thing is I'll eat an onion bagel, I'll eat a sesame bagel, I'll eat a

Pepsi bagel. If I will have, I'll have locks on there, why not? I'll put salami on there. Why not? You know, but, but if it's in the morning and I'm good at getting a bagel, I'm like, give me a plain bagel and I'm just going to take bites out of it. You just want a, you just want a carb explosion. Exactly.

Nothing else. I want nothing but carbs. Yeah. Wow. So you want the unmolested bread is what you're. Yeah. Because like, not even cut. You could cut it, but I'm just going to eat it as if it wasn't, you know.

Yeah. We call circumcised. If I'm having... If I'm having... Cream cheese, I would rather... I like it better with Shul. No, I don't... Lox is, yes, I agree with you on that.

I mean, we are recording this. We are recording this on the... Right before the High Holy Days. Russia Shana starts tonight as of this recording. Really dating this recording. By saying exactly what day it's on. I hope nobody decides to go back in time and kill us on this day. No, they'll know exactly where we were.

I will say that... We're doing this for legal reasons in case we get caught in some kind of weird shenanigans. Exactly. But officer, I didn't prove that I was there. You can hear me reading that day's newspaper. I think I'll be more tolerant of other bagel stuff. So whatever you guys want, you know. Where?

I don't know. Wow. I'm just trying to get written into the book of life this year. Okay, so what are we saying? Our number one bagel orders, everything bagel with cream cheese and locks. That's number one. With capers and onions. No.

You know what, maybe I can't stand by this. That's the number one. Number two, we're putting plain bagel, nothing done to it. All right, at least it's on the list. Raw dog, plain bagel. That first bagel has too much stuff going on. The third one is what? Bacon, egg, and cheese on a blueberry bagel.

No, not at all. Why did I abdicate this responsibility? I just like some butter on a bagel, man. Sometimes. What, just a plain bagel with butter or? I think sesame is good with butter. Okay. Okay, that's our top three.

All right. I can't really stand by it, but let's keep moving on. Yes. Okay. I'm just trying to be a peacemaker here, yeah. We are grinding our way through these. We only have a few left. Favorite boats?

Top three boats. Favorite boats. Now, are these specific boats by name? or types of boats? These are types of boats. No great expert than us when it comes to boats, boating, things not cool. You got to put number one's got to be pirate ship, right?

Oh, yeah, I think you're right. That's got to be number one of them. Where's the Soup John B figure in? Is that one of them? I mean, they want to go home. They don't want to be on anymore. They've ever been on. So probably not.

So probably not, yeah. What about a, what about like a cigarette boat? A cigarette boat. What about a gondola? Where does gondola? Gondola, I would probably put number two even, gondola. Okay, because there's a dude singing shit. He's singing, you're in Venice.

How could it get better? Come on. Now, I like the shape of a swan boat, but I don't like all the pedaling I have. Yeah, you don't want to do the work. You're lazy, yeah. So number one, pirate ship galleon. Number two, gondola. Number three, I mean, like a canoe or a kayak.

I know that's work too, but it's... Yeah, self-repelled, though. I don't know. Dan's putting a firm anti-self-propelled. I find kayaking a lot easier than using a pedal. for those things. True. You do have a lot of that

upper body. Yeah. And your lower body is weak and frail. Despite swans. He's like Johnny Bravo. He's like, that's actually Danny Bravo. Yeah, because he watches a lot of Bravo.

Yeah. Dandy Cohen is what I call him because he watches so much prob. And you want to watch what happens live. The issue is that despite swans being well shaped for swimming, swan boats are not well shaped for swimming. No, because they're not really.

The important part of the swans through the water. Yeah. What's the park? Isn't there like a famous like pond in L.A. where they have the swan boats? In Echo Lake Park. Echo Park. Echo Park Lake.

Yeah. There's also like the duck boat in Boston, you know. But we still haven't picked a third. But an echo park is where we go when we do pedal boats. Do we want to say kayak is our third? I'm a kayak fan. I don't know because there's also like, what about like, if ships are involved.

What about like a paddle boat? Like a Mark Twain style. paddle boat. Oh, yeah. Like a fucking casino. Exactly. There's a casino on board.

Those are pretty good. Maybe some kind of old-timey vampire lives there. Maybe. And there's like ladies doing cancan type dances. You know. A fan boat? You know, magic is there. Fan boat is true.

You know, like, some kind of like something's going down. You might get eaten by an alligator. Or like a sweaty noir or like something sexy is happening. Nothing good has ever happened to anyone on a fan boat. No, it's true. Well, I went on a fun swamp tour. I do like the idea of Pirateship Gondola fan boat.

What a wild collection of options. That is, yeah. I think it's, I think let's go with it. It's like when you see two dogs next to each other, a chihuahua and a great Bernard, you're like, yeah, you're like, those are the same animal. It's the same animal, yeah. I'm going to give an honorable mention to paddleboat steamer.

Okay, sure, yeah. Yeah. Okay. And then finally, top three colors. This is the last one. Top, top three colors. Blue. I'm going green.

I'm going green, baby. Green's great. Blue's got to be on there. I will back you on green, Stuart. And even though, like, it's a cliche, I think blue, you got to go with blue. It's a classic color. I mean, that's kind of a, it's a victory for blue both ways because you need blue to make green. Yeah.

Yeah. Now we need a warm color. Yeah. I know blue is the warmest color. Only in certain circumstances. Only when it's Lacea do's hair, yeah. I'm pushing for pink, guys. Pink's a great color.

Pink's a great color. Well, that's, I do like pink. Like a bright color. Pink is a great one. I often think pink. I think it would either have to be pink or black. Black is also a great color. But some people would tell you that it's not a color.

They're wrong. They're wrong. Yeah, they're wrong. I'm pushing for pink. I'd go with pink. Pink is pink and black are the two most punk colors. So I'll go with pink, yeah. Okay, we decided.

We cleared the whole docket, guys. And this... You can't say that. You can't say that. Judge John Hodgson's coming after us. Oh, no. Well, we cleared the whole... Jump in the fan boat.

Mail bag. So this will... And this document now is going to be... Live on forever as are rankings of all those things. This is canon, except for the bagels one. And we'll also potentially serve as an alibi for us in those situations. And if you have any problem with these rankings, you can write it on a little piece of paper. You can take that paper out to the backyard or any park next to you.

you can dig a hole and bury those complaints. You and Dan, you were so much nicer than I was going to be. I was going to like you could write it down a piece of paper and then you can just shove it up your butt. Okay, we already have, those are the top two response, two of the top three responses from ways to say, fuck off. Anyway, this is a good time for us to say, please leave a five-star review on the podcast app of your choice.

We love you even though we're sometimes combative. But see how we are with each other. Mm-hmm. Exactly. That makes you feel like you're part of the gang. So this has been a mini episode of the flop house podcast. We are part of the Max Fun Network. There are plenty other great shows.

Just go over to Maximumfund.org and check them out. This show has been produced by Alex Smith, aka Howell Doughty. He does all kinds of great stuff online in addition to producing this lovely podcast. That is your favorite podcast ever. He also does Twitch streams. He does music. He's the greatest. And then, you know what?

I've just been Stuart Wellington. I've just been Dan McCoy. I think I'm almost ready to be Elliot Kalin, guys. Okay, well, on that note, bye! Maximum Fun. A worker-owned network. Of artists-owned shows. Supported.

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