The Flop House - Flop House Classic - Stolen

Episode Date: July 12, 2023

In honor of our upcoming 400th episode, we're picking some classics to revisit!Stu introduces STOLEN, one of our faves from St. Nicholas Cage.Originally released as episode 124  on 04.20.2013--**apologies for any sound issues/wrongheaded past statements-- we hope to have improved since then!

Hey, this is Stuart Wellington, one of the hosts of the Flop House Podcast. In honor of our 400th episode, we have decided to rerelease some of our classic older episodes to kind of highlight what makes the Flop House special to us. This episode, Stolen, starring Nicholas Cage, is a lot of fun for us. We do a lot of goofy voices. We get to do necklace cage impressions. I think there's a couple of bits that I've remembered fondly over the years.

So if you're interested in checking it out, I would recommend Stolen episode 124, I think. Okay, bye. We may watch other movies, baby, but you know we love you best. We discuss Stolen starring Nicholas Cage. Hey everyone, welcome to the flop house, I'm Dan McCoy. Hey, I'm Stuart Wellington. And I'm Elliot Kalen in the number three spot, but first in America's hearts. I don't know if he really I've spoken I looked up our queue ratings. There are floppers.

Oh, I was warned that Stewart checked his phone and he said he'd allow it. Hey, enough goofing around guys. It's time to make the donuts. Okay, we're doing a suddenly recrural task master. Welcome back to the vlog house, a podcast where we watch a movie, perhaps a bad movie, and then we discuss it. Yes. Yeah, absolutely. I just feel bad. You don't want to, you know,

every now and then we throw a seven samurai in there. Just throw off the listeners. Just seven to samurai. Throw floating weeds in the mix yeah every now and then we just throw a uh other Japanese movie in there Deter a lot of two that's all I mean that is a bad movie that's a great movie were they turning angels and have the montage of killing people and giving money to happy African kids So this evening we watched a little movie called Stolen Stolen starring Nicholas K

Nicholas it's we haven't seen a Nicholas Kage moving in a while so excited about like three months without a cage So should we explain why we're mispronouncing Nicholas Gay? Just, I think listeners to the past episode are familiar with this story. That was pre-EW. So we should, yeah. Or Pue, P-E-W. Post-EW. And if somebody is picking this podcast up for the first time,

we don't actually want them to get the joke, right? Exactly. No, yeah, yeah, it's all about forcing people out and making them not enjoy it by feeling, they're not cool enough to get these inside jokes. So buckle on your headphones folks. We're gonna talk about this movie. It's gonna be a bumpy here. So we should explain that this movie stolen. We saw the trailer last year and it looked fantastic and for it's a Nicholas Cage film that for some reason in the trailer the voiceover guy who has a perfectly normal voice

Announces the name of the star as Nicholas K He like those an extra syllable in there. Yeah, and otherwise Simile professional. Yeah, I would say produced trailer very bitch. It's not the most slick trailer It could it could have easily been a direct to dvd film to be a resolve that according to wica media no that i was released in the now this is a movie that in america made uh... a little bit over three hundred thousand dollars hot dog worldwide box office gross was a little over two million dollars

okay so that it's probably on top right? No, it's a budget of 35 million, which is still very cheap for this type of move. I mean, this is a Nicholas Cage action thriller. And Danny Houston doesn't come cheap. No, all those Hatsy wears. Malen Ackerman. Very expensive. They shot it in New Orleans. So, you know, that's expensive. The big easy home of 12 12 rounds as I believe they renamed it They renamed the city home of 12 rounds They gave the key to the city to John Sanlo. Yeah, and then he bent it in half And then he ate it. He thought there's chocolate inside. He didn't care. He just thought it was that something

He just eats he just ingest matter And if he comes back to you're saying yeah So this is a movie that so this this is a movie, it doesn't, it doesn't look expensive. It's a suspense thriller, it doesn't look like a movie that's. 35 million dollars on the screen, right? It's kind of all of that. But it doesn't look bad. Yeah, it looks more expensive than movies that we've seen that cost a lot more.

More expensive than Nicholas Cage movies. That's my boy last week which was a $70 million movie oh where you saw none of the money on screen yeah the not once did they do a shot of just like a big pile of money I mean this was a competently great never saw it on screen this is a competently directed action from from Simon West who may know as the director of a Tomb Raider and and more recently the mechanic and probably gone in 60 seconds, right? No, he didn't do that, but he's best enjoyed, I think, for Conair.

All right. Right. Which is a very enjoyable stupid movie in which the audience is supposed to cheer for a child killer being on the loose at the end. When Steve Bussemi is not only on the loose, has money in his pocket, and a crowd of people around cheering him. This is a character who throughout has been treated as the worst murder in the world.

But to the audience, it's like, yeah, our cute buddy. A friend, Mr. Pink, back in the game. I thought he was all chopped up in that wood shipper, but nope, he's okay on the con air. Oh, the same character. I tried to book a flight on con air and it was much more expensive than I thought it would be. Only movie they show the rock.

Weird. Weird, yeah. But they show the version that stars the rock. Replays all the parts. Oh, okay. And he just performed it in his basement. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Should we talk about what this movie was about? Yes. So Nicholas Cage plays the best bank robber in the world. Of course he is.

He's Nicholas Cage. Yeah. And in the beginning, he and his gang made up of Maelan Ackerman and She was a hottie. Who else was in it? Josh Lucas. MC Gainey. MC Gainey was the body. And he was a Mr. Friendly from lost or you know him from Swamping from Conair and he was and he was a character's name and he was a pilot and he was in another flop house movie uh yeah he told to me earlier and I've already forgotten I forgot it too uh and like 10,000 BC or something he played one of the Manics

no it's wild hogs wild hogs he was like a biker or something and maybe a sheriff and he's also a rapper, MC Gainey. Yes. Vestor of ceremonies, Gainey. Now, so they have a bank robbing crew. They're the best bank robbers and they're in New Orleans, which is how you say New Orleans if you're in New Orleans. So they're in in New Orleans.

And they're gonna rob, it looks like. Oh, that angst. That angst. So they're in your mallens and they're gonna rob it looks like It looks like they're gonna rob the gagolins diamond exchange and there's all these FBI agents around led by Danny Houston Who is not yet wearing a hat? Okay, don't engage and delete puts a hat on watch him move move move is Is he putting a hat on? No, no, he's just scratching his head Okay, hold back hold back So there it looks like they're about to rob a diamond exchange which involves drilling through a toy story wall a toy story Well, it's really through a toy store wall and going into the the diamond building The FBI rushes in they were double hatched, double crossed. They're not robbing

the diamond exchange. They're robbing the bank. They break through a safe. They rob it of $10 million in cash bucks wrapped in plastic. And unfortunately, Nicholas Cage and what's his name? Lucas. Josh Lucas. They're leaving the bank. But before it looks like a normal guy at the movie. It looks like a handsome blonde man. And Josh Lucas is very sad to leave behind they're leaving the bank but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but during the day, you'll get that joke. But he says, I love shiny things, and gold is the shiniest. And Nick, let's go. He's shabby to the heavens. He's got $10 million right here. Let's just go, okay?

And they're rushing out of the bank and a janitor or somebody sees them. And says, hey, well, you guys going and. When you're running with that bag full of money. And Josh Lucas hits that guy and is about to shoot him. And Nick, let's get you, he's like, we're not killers, others okay don't kill him and they fight there literally

the van people in the van to get away from can see them down in alley they get in a fight and in the middle of it nicklass cage shoots judge lucas in the knee to get to stop he throws him in the van i'm not in support of that but nickler me and three and this is it's like we watch movies in a row guaranteed to to infuriate every

time a guy like a bad guy in a movie gets hit in the crotch. I'm like, Hey, come on. That that's part of your giant penis. Yeah, like at the like at the end of the Power Rangers movie when they need the the giant monster and the balls. I don't know. I would be lying if I said I had seen the Power Rangers movie. Okay, well continue. Or like whenever a guy gets his foot stepped on in a movie and I'm like, all right, okay. Footstep. You're in a footflip? Not really, but it's a popular fetish.

I love to jump on the foot fetish bandwagon. I was actually talking about this today, how I'm disturbed that like if you put any actress's name into Google, immediately feet will pop up behind it. Yeah, which is apparently like foot fetishism is much larger than I expected because that is the number one result. You know what's even larger than foot fetishism? What?

Big foot fetishism. Bigger feet, bigger fetish. Look at those eyes of those footprints. There's some guys that's like an enormous boob print. Anyway, guys somewhere masturbating for the idea of big putt in some monolablon. Just masturbating to Harry and the Henderson's. There's a guy who has cut out pictures of shoes from a magazine and he watches Harry and the Henderson's and holds it up to the TV screen. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's the stuff.

Oh, yeah. Old man of the forest. Those pumps look pretty good. You got the biggest beat, the biggest beat. Anyway, so we're going to talk about the movies more. What's going on? So we're about five minutes into the movie, too. Nicholas Cage can't get on the Getaway fan.

So he gets into a police car, he beats up a police officer and gets into his car and takes the police on a high speed car chase. I was surprised in the exciting chase. It's a pretty good car chase through a parking garage and all that. But finally, he gets caught and they say, come out with the money and he's got a duffel bag

with $10 million wrapped in plastic and he's in a building with a barrel fire that's some homeless people were warming their hands around. It's not a barrel fire. And because it gets so cold at night, New Orleans, known for its rough cold nights, New Orleans. He throws it. We better put some crud ads in that barrel fire. Yeah, go get up a cop there. I have some gum, though. So he and Nicholas Cage walks out with other monies, I threw the money in the fire, I threw

it in the fire. He's got, they've got no evidence. No evidence. Well he doesn't tell them that at that time. Bern with the heat of a thousand songs. And he gets, no, just this fire. He gets a, he gets a reduce sentence because they can't find the evidence yeah even though there's no way that ten million dollars in bills

rapture plastic or get is going to burn up in one of those barrels so they're not going to figure out what happened i don't know maybe it was like that's you know an atomic barrel okay sure well except i'll accept it for the purposes of stolen the purposes of stolen that barrel has atomic efficient technology but that person stole that barrel of shines as bright as the sun yet exactly uh... nicole's case a smile it is brighter than the sun that caged smile cut to eight years later

nick cages get that a jail is a free man first off is at a new stand to buy a ratti blue teddy bear for his now grown daughter It's in my groan. She's like 15. Yeah, sure and then he gets picked up by Number two over here. Yeah, exactly grown at 15 What's going to get trying to get this started? No, it's about to borrow it doesn't stick on the guy with the big foot fetish, okay? So and he gets picked up by the FBI by Danny Houston who is now wearing a hat. You know what? A pork buy hat. A pork buy hat because that's what cops wear when they reach a certain age. Yeah, the intervening eight years he got way into wearing a hat. Can you blame him? It looks great on him. No, of course. He's starring in police detectives of a

certain age. It's him. He wears a pork buy hat. pork pie. Am Edoneal and some other guy who played a cop at some point. Sure. We just recycle Andrew and Ray Browr. Andrew? And Ray Browr? And Ray Browr. And Ray Browr. That's Andre Browr's when he got the sex change.

And, yeah, anyway, so it's eight years later. There's a house. I think we got that down. They drop them off at his daughter's house. We never see the daughter's mother. So I guess she's just a 15 year old. She's got to be beautiful. And her daughter, it doesn't go well.

His first meeting with his daughter. He gives her the teddy bear. She's a little old for her. Takes the teddy bear initially though. Takes initially to make him feel better, but the conversation does not go well. He tries to explain that it's not his fault. He became a criminal. Doesn't go over. She leaves to go to her shrink disappointment. Because apparently she has abandonment issues.

Mm-hmm. If you couldn't tell that from her pixie cut. But unfortunately, I don't know what that means. What? Unfortunately, she gets into the wrong texty cab, as we'll find out in a second then nicole scathe goes to visit his old pal malean acrimon who's now bartender and uh... eight years looks great yeah has not aged today nobody in the movie has aged a day except for nicole scathe's daughter i assume and uh... the movie attempts to hang in lancet on that by having uh... nicole scathe say you're aging younger but still eight years later in, and you look younger than you did before.

Yeah, there's no dice movie. We get what you're selling. We're not buying. I mean, MC Gainy looks like what? 95 years old at this point. And so, but he also got... MC Skat Gainy. What I did. The German porn version. Yikes. MC Gainy.

You really are not doing a great job of keeping this I'm not sure what I'm going to do. The German porn version. I'm not going to see any. I'm not sure. You really are not doing a great job of keeping this purpose, so I'd love you. All right. I was talking about Bigfoot porn earlier. And now you seem like the pervert anyway. So we're barely into this movie. So he got a package, and it starts ringing while he's

talking to Maleneckerman. Opened it up. It's a phone from an unknown caller. Oh, that's weird. He picks it up. That's because his movie's called Unknown, right? No, it's not. It's called stolen. Now, he steal the phone. I don't get it. No, he's gonna steal some of it. He stole $10 million.

It's gonna steal some other stuff. Wait, I thought he burned it, so he didn't really steal it. No, you can still steal something even if it's destroyed. Okay, continue. And now she told him that Josh Lucas has died and that MCGaney is just an old man now. He gets a phone call on this new brand new phone. It's his old bank robbing partner, Josh Lucas. Uh oh.

A ghost from beyond the grave? No, you'd think. Yeah. But actually, he's become a horrid gross shell of himself a golem of a man and i don't mean golem the good kind of golem i mean the bad kind of gole somehow in the interview years he's grown long rady blonde hair i mean in eight years he i believe it grow long rady blonde right rady blunder it looks like the wig that uh... jiff

daniels was wearing him dumb and dumber and he's got yellow teeth and then also possible he's lost his uh... he's lost one of his leg is that shot is left the lower half of his left leg and now has those like blade runner style like uh... spring yeah the kind of thing that like a robo power from blade runner wears no the fucking the guy that was historius who allegedly killed a friend until proven guilty which he will be allegedly Thank you for not getting the flop house soon guys and thank you for being a friend Travel down the road and back again

You're hard to true your pals and confidants You know if you two threw a party together for some reason yeah, but at everyone you knew I Think you'd see the biggest gift, maybe a monetary value, not in size, because it's not gonna give you a giant teddy bear or something, it'll be for me. And the card attached would say, thank you for being a friend. Dun dun dun dun dun dun. Dun dun dun dun.

Dun dun dun dun dun. So, so wait, it says dun dun dun dun dun. I wrote out the music. So it's his old, supposedly dead, criminal criminal buddy who's now got a mean matter. Looks like a crazy old voodoo master now. He looks like a gross, a gross, like kind of rat wizard of a man. He crawled out of hell. Take his revenge.

I mean, that would be interesting. It turns out he didn't do that. Turns out he faked his own death partly by chopping off half of three of his fingers. So he's an onion knight, if you know. Gross. Yeah. And he has, I won't, by the way.

Yeah, he won't. It's not like he carries his fingers. He's not associated with his other things. With his other devos. He didn't carry his fingers around with him in a pouch. I mean, come on. Oh no, he didn't. He used them to fake his own death in a pouch.

Now, he, uh oh, he's a taxi driver now. He picked up Nicholas Cage's daughter in his taxi. And now, Nicholas Cage's daughter. I'm sorry, Nicholas Cage is daughter in his taxi. And he says to him, I want that $10 million, where else your daughter's dead.

I'll give you 12 hours. And Nicholas Cage is like, but I burned that money. I burned it. He's like, yeah, sure you did. I don't believe you. My leg doesn't believe the audience doesn't believe that happened. Give it to me in 12 hours I'm gonna spend that time just driving the streets of New Orleans during Marty Gras during Marty Gras, that Tuesday and with my with your daughter and my trunk and Get me the money or your she's dead by the way He did put a bunch of glowing the dark stars in the trunk to make more homie for her as he drove around

So that was a nice move There are a couple little touches in the movie like Danny Houston's hat And the little glow in the dark stars he puts in the trunk. They made the I like that. They made the bad guy look like a weird Rady monster He just like weird ready monsters in general., you like weird, ready monsters in general, like your castle freaks. Yeah, you're snake man. He is kind of what I imagine the

Judas Priestong night crawler to be about. That's the guy who, who crawls into the town in the middle of the night to feast on flesh and blood. Or he's just like a ratty taxi driver too. I don't know. So Nicholas Cage is at, is at a

loss. He's got to find this money that doesn't exist. But don't know. So Nicholas Cage is at a loss. He's got to find this money that doesn't exist. But what he really has to do is find his old partner so he can get his daughter back. One last heist, sure. Yeah, well, but not one last heist yet. First, he's gonna heist his daughter back from this jerk. Yeah, it's called daughter heist.

One man has to steal one daughter. This movie could be called Catch That Cab, Catch That Cash. Catch That Kid. one man has to steal one daughter there's this movie called catch that cab catch that cash catch that kid or catch that K so he tries to get the F guys help they don't believe him sure your dead body is around and you and that's why you want our help and you it doesn't they don't. That's why you're violating your parole. So he has, you burned all that money even though we couldn't find any of it. Whatever, tell it to my hat. Do you believe him? No, I don't.

My hat doesn't believe you. So he can't get their help. He breaks some laws to get some information. He tracks down the old friend MC Gainey. MC Gainey, he knows what's going on, but he doesn't want to help him. He's mad that he burned that money too. And he's mad they made him drop his lunch.

You know, he had a big paper sack with his lunch in it. Nicholas Cage made him drop it for some reason. And I wish that it when it fell, it made a squirt, like a really cartoony squish sound, or even like a boing, but it doesn't. That was full of chili. It's just a bag of chili. Just dripping through this paper bag.

But the police FBI come in. There's a fight out. By the way, bag of chili is now copyright. Flop house. Eddie attempt to make a restaurant based on a bag of chili. It's a U.O. It's money. Flop house brand bag of chili.

From the makers of bag of coleslaw. It's a garbage bag full of coleslaw. Stick your hand in it. Well, something out eat it Wow, we didn't even really try on that slogan. No, it's more heat user instructions We could have made that sound more epic diagram for a poster I think I see the problem and why our coleslaw business to take off Also the mascot is the mascot is garby the garbage bag, not appealing or advertising. Stick your face in me.

Celebrity endorsement by MC Katie. Come on down to bag of close love. It's for the main AZ goodness. So they have a big fight in the shootout MC Gain he gets killed Nicholas Cage goes on the run and the police are just shooting guns at him They're just firing semi-automatic weapons that that's what team got just makes a jumping shooting machine gun And at this point his crimes are breaking his parole and accessing FBI files And they're just firing automatic what semi-automatic apartments all around it. This is like residential area. They're just shooting up. Oh, it's New Orleans. It's in bad bad shape. Anyway, after John Cena got through, there's still, yeah, they're still

recovering from the damage done by 12 rounds. Hurricane Cena. Nicholas Cage is on the run. Fine. He's going to do this by himself. He's going to track down his old partner. He almost does it. He takes a cab driver hostage, uses the radio to track down his old partner's cab. There's a lot of car chasing. The partner almost gets caught by a cop because the girl in the trunk has broken one of the brake lights, one of the tail lights, and tries to escape. She almost breaks through and gets a phone left by an Australian passenger that Josh Lucas beats the shit out of There's a lot of really unappealing Australian guy. You're kind of happy to see you get me

I don't know. He's just a tourist there to get laid. I don't know. He's just looking for Sheila. He's talking about Sheila's bill of bongs You know some roomy all sorts of stuff Wombats and what have you the dingle eaters baby. He's got some sympathy. So anyway Nicholas Cage. I'm just going to cut it as quick, quick as I can. Sure. Because it's, it's actually not bad. There's a lot of little incidents and things like that. Finally, Nicholas cage, he can't track, he's been double tricked again. And he can't find the taxi cab. The taxi, the taxi guy switched out, uh, his GPS with another taxi. So there's no way of tracking this guy. No way. way he's just gonna have to meet him at the rendezvous spot in a band

in amusement park with money in hand but he doesn't have the money but what is this guy love more than money g ol ld uh... he only loves gold he loves only gold so sounds like nickless cage is gonna have to steal himself some gold he takes million acckerman in.

She doesn't say just when I thought I was done or like, you know, something like that, but she should. I'm getting told for this shit, even though I have an aged in eight years, but she doesn't say that. So, but they have kind of an interesting plan to get the gold.

They're gonna go beneath the floor of the gold vault, melt through it, and then melt the gold, and it's gonna fall into sewer water and cool and big lumps that look like gold poop. And they'll just put that in the duffel bag and carry it around. It looks like gold poop or rocks that have been spray-painted gold. I mean, have you ever seen gold? It looks like rocks that have been spray-painted gold. It's fair enough. And it looks like dragon poop, basically.

So they got this bag full of dragon poop, the police are chasing after them, they narrowly escape the police by switching trucks, and there's some more, there's a bunch of good car flip stunts throughout the movie actually. But uh... Oh about flipping cars with you. Yeah, I just love car flipping movies. Flip, I'm always disappointed when I watch Flip this house, because the house never actually flips over.

It's like, hello, the title promised it. There's no springs, no kind of a trade machine. Like a big lever or nothing. But show Flip this pancake is a little better. A little better, but it's not that exciting because you've got to be pan-figured. No, it's not that stimulating. I mean, I could do that at home. Sure.

And I do. That's your fetish. Nicholas Cage. Yeah's your fetish. Nicholas Cage, you guys pancake flipping. The motion of a pancake flipping in the air. Oh, that's a real nice flip. The other side's getting all toasted now. You evenly distribute the heat on both sides. Put chocolate chips in there.

Later on, you're going to get my belly. We have your way. Pre-beat. Anyway, they meet at the abandoned amusement park. Okay. I'm gonna go get my belly. We have anyway. Three feet. I don't know. Anyway, they meet at the abandoned amusement park. Okay. Nicholas Cage finally confront Josh Lucas face to face, leg to stump. And they have a big fight.

Which is much crazier than you would expect. Nicholas Cage gets shot in the gut and then Josh Lucas just jams his fingers. And to Nicholas Cage's bullet in the gut and then Josh Lucas just jams his fingers into Nicholas Cage's bullet hole Meanwhile crazy because it's not like a real good fight. It's just really kind of gross It's more brutal than you expected. It's more brutal silly movie like cuz meanwhile also Nicholas Cage's daughter is in the trunk of the car We in Josh Lucas has poor gas all over and set it on fire with a road flare Yeah, so like Nicholas Cage cages arm gets in the fire.

He pushes Josh Lucas his face into the fire. And then he gets in the cab drives it into the river and then is about trying to let her out of the trunk. Trying to let her out of the truck, which by the way, like, I don't know what is, I mean, I understand the first step of this plan, which was put out the fire. Put out this car fire.

But the step number two is get my daughter out of the trunk of this locked car before she drowns and he doesn't have the keys I don't know exactly what is not the key is still in the trunk but she can't open it like he's not like he doesn't he's been shot in a stomach turning the key at any point he just seems like he's trying to open this locked tr He assumes that in that moment he gets super strength because of the stress. My only weakness is a lock. But then Josh Lucas comes back for one final scare like your favorite horror movie monster burst out of the water. Yeah. Face all scarred up all melty faced and they're fighting and fighting Nicholas Cage beat some up

uh... and runs them through with a cross with a crowbar right? uh... yeah like a pry bar yeah and then prize open the trunk and we were all saying that it would have been better if you pride open the trunk with Josh Lucas' fake leg if you torn the fake leg off and then use that to pry the trunk out. Why introduce a fake leg if you're not going to use it to pry open a trunk? Exactly. Exactly. That check off did say that. The best moment was after...

Exactly how he phrased it to. After stabbing Josh Lucas through the stomach and pushing him into the sinking trunk, he then closes the top of the trunk of it. Case closed literally. He should have said case closed. Or case closed literally. He should have said case closed or case closed. But Nicholas Cage has this bullet wound. He's already said earlier in the movie a bullet to the belly hurts a lot and you die slower. It's his greatest weakness. And his one vulnerability bullets to the belly. And but the police helicopter arrives cop in a hat is there

Cop in a half cop in a half is that it's burnt Reynolds with a little kid on his shoulders wearing a hat That's my worst nightmare kid with a badge They take him away and then we don't know did he survive wait a hold on I also love like The daughter's like he's not going back to jail is he and Danny Husson's like no no the other guy stole the money like it is like the other guy stole that gold Oh you mean the guy whose body is drowned in a trunk right now so you stole the gold and then he got in a trunk and killed himself. Also Danny Husson gets very protective of Nicholas Cage a man who yes he did this for

justifiable reasons but but his like broken is for parole many times over. Well, around stealing thing. You have the idea that even before the new enemy army, he's oh, Mac, yeah, you get the idea that Danny Houston likes Nicholas Cage a little bit. No, he has affection for it, but. But then by the end, he saved his daughter, you know, he all only did what he did to save his daughter.

It's the point at the end where the bad guy says, you know what, this good guy's been reformed. But it's a lot of covering up the has to be done. Oh, yeah. I mean, at least one cop has been killed. So MC Gainy also, not to mention tons of cars flipped over. Marty Grau ruined. I don't know if it's called off.

You know, Ray Nagan is like, you know what? Cancel it, forget it. But, uh, Dr. John is crying. Just crying into his beard, I assume he has. Then weeping, lettering H. Watch, what? But no, we don't know what it is. But no, we don't know what it is. It takes his doctor down from the wall. Tears it up.

Why did I study? Why did I study for seven years for this mondue so he's basically gambit at this point yeah moshery anyway he guarantees it so anyway the then it cuts to malin acrimon and the daughter or driving in a truck past a cemetery Oh, no, were they gonna go visit Nicholas Cage's grave no

Is Gray as he mold her enough to No, they he's cooking up shrimp the most half-hearted fake out You can it's because it barely less and it's not even like they show him them driving up It literally just cuts to Nicholas Cage walking out of a trailer. Hey guys. They can It's right being alive, right? And not dead, which is what I'm not They go but it turns out Malene Akramon still has one of the lumps of dinosaur turd gold in the back of a truck Nicholas Cage picks it up and we see that he's being watched from a boat. Yeah by Danny Houston and Danny Houston second and command Danny Houston's psychkick played by TV's human target and wait a minute Danny Houston and Danny Houston's second command. And he used to play by TV's human target.

And wait a minute. What's Danny Houston doing here? Uh, wait, we're in a really cool, like a different, uh, different hat. Yeah. And also rooting for Nicholas Cage. They're what their under surveillance and Nicholas Cage sees the lump of gold. And if he throws it away, then they don't have any of it in

stick catch him. But if he keeps it, they'll be able to throw him in jail. The Houston's like, the way and the other and human targets like, don't have any of it is to catch him but if he keeps it the be able to throw him in jail and he uses like the way and the other and human targets like don't throw it away don't throw it away where they can arrest for throwing gold it's crazy it's like crazy last time I check this is America you can throw as much gold as you want you make it rain gold uh... you need gold and poop it and

i hope you're watching the screen because you might not know you might not catch that for about four seconds There's a shot that it shows that there's a big stone like acorn sculpture or pine cone sculpture on the table a gold lump shaped pinecold on the table like what pinecold pinecold it's like pine solver to make things cold instead of sweet smelling It's what they spray pine trees with when they get too warm. The pine-cold lady is like Mrs. Freeze. Mrs. Freeze?

I bet she's trapped in a thing. So that Mr. Freeze has to try and get her out. Yeah, yeah, trapped in the thing. Something that keeps her cold, right? So she doesn't turn into a dead bot. Yeah, an abandoned refrigerator. She's playing in it and she got stuck inside. She didn't see that episode of different strokes, I guess.

Yeah. Or that GI Joe, the more you know about abandoned fridges. Anyway, Nicholas Cage finally decides to get rid of it, throws it the golden water, and Danny Houston's like, all right, now I can go back to my regular life. My regular life? Hat wearing. And, but no, you throw his hat away at this point. I wish he had then picked up his hat and lit it on fire and then threw it away. Throw it over to the air like Mary Tyler Moore.

The hat flies away so it's my work he was done. It's just like the feather at the end of Forest Cup. Yeah, it's a big strike. And the hat's like, no, one day from retirement. My wife, Hat and I were gonna hat around the world with my hat pension. But then it turns out, wait a minute, Nicholas Cage threw that big pine cone in the water. And he still has the gold.

Stolen is now over. Q, uh, Lello Schiffer and Style Cupshoom. Now here's the thing, this is a movie. I'm just going to tell you what the bet. I liked this movie a lot. It was super goofy and silly, but it had some genuinely fun Action-y scenes and the score was great It was like they lifted it wholesale from some 80s cop show including there's like parts which are like

Yeah $35 million Elliot most of that went to hats fake gold Nicholas catch I assume most of that went to hats fake gold Nicholas cage I assume most of that money went straight to Nicholas cage is Castlebroker And the IRS but anyway the original castle freak Hey guys Yeah, we've been a new way to talk about Nicholas cage and a new way to talk about castle freak Guys, if we don't, if we don't, you say that we fucking go. I'm not careful of you. Yeah, we've been a new way to talk about Nicholas Cage

and a new way to talk about Castle Freak. We're episode what? 700 and 8? Yeah. We did this for 100 years. You would have thought we would. When giant Zardos beers, they're like, there's never been a time we haven't been doing this part.

Well, it's like the shining. There's a picture from the 20s of us doing this podcast. It was a radio show. We all had big mustache. Every time we walk out, we see another version of us walking in. Oh, yeah, it's like a looper. You had a whole primary situation going on here.

But I was going to say the music is adorably cheesy. It's just so cop show cheesy and the characters are all it like This felt like an hour and thirty minute episode of either the Danny Houston cop in a hat show or the Nicholas Cage Greatest bank robber show. It was like it was like if there was a hat cop show and there was a bank robber show and they did like a Sweeps weeks crossover movie of the week. Oh, that's what it feels like, like a McMillan and wife. Like a CBS mystery movie. Like a TV movie, CBS would make so they could try to spin it off into a show if it got the way they do with Kojak, I don't know if that was CBS,

but the way Kojak was done. So like in Colombo was the same way I think. So like- And Bell Sargillactica Classic mystery show There's a bunch of regular people like high society types and a silent in the room and detective Galactica Detective be Galactica. I think I know who did it. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, one red light that goes back and forth. I have a condition. That makes sense. That makes a lot of sense. I just want to look question.

If you're a regular poison, why do you have big metal claws for hands? And why are you a robot? And the silent tries to jump out the window, but a cop leaves that of an ambush and tackles him. How did you know the silent was the one who did it? Let's just say I had a hunch. Oh, he's also a hunchback. So that pun, so it's always a pun at the end of the episode.

Let's say I had a hunch. Looks at the, Lily looks at the camera and says, Kay, he's closed. It's called Battle Stark-Electica, a hunchback detective. Stars the late Peter Falk and a Silon. It's always a Silylon who did it. And he talks like the guy from the stolen trailer. I don't think we're gonna say anything

that I'm gonna enjoy more than that. So I think we should go on to final judgment. The hell yeah, I think we've always kind of tried. I got my final judgment. I mean, does anyone have anything else to say? The movie is like, we all went into this movie I think hoping we would like it a little bit.

And I don't know about you guys, but I certainly did. So I'm going to, if we're doing final judgments, I'm going to say this is a movie I kind of liked. The official categories are good bad movie, bad bad movie, movie I kind of like. This hovers I feel a little bit between good bad movie, movie, and movie I kind of like. Yeah, I mean, it's not it's like a good

I would say it's a good like TV movie ish thriller It's not as good as like a beam movie type quality movie as like premium rush or something like that But it's still a lot of fun. I mean the characters are just running around flipping cars over There's stuff in it that genuinely works and then there's stuff in it that's Like super silly. It's nothing in it that I was like this is shit It's a bizarre a world where Nicholas Cage can beat up two trained FBI field agents stuff in it that's like super silly. But there's nothing in it that I was like, this is shit. It's a bizarre world where Nicholas Cage can beat up two trained FBI field agents. And a one-legged guy can beat up a young fiddle Australian guy.

Well, that's the other thing. It's, yeah, it takes place in this, yeah, backwards place where the weak overpower looks strong and strong as a weak. Yes. So there is a scene where Nicholas Cage is like with two two f.e. I agents and elevator and then escapes and elevator opens up and the f.e. I agents like it's wake up from their blackout and our handcuff to the to the Art the the handrail and the elevator. It's like there's no way that Nicholas Cage is what like 55 at this point Maybe a little bit younger than that. There's no way he beat up these two guys

But like Nicholas Cage breaks his own thumb to get us some handcuffs at one point. He is there. This is Nicholas Cage like as an action star, which shouldn't work, but it kind of works. Just through sheer force of him. He's been an action star for quite a while, but he's like, he should have aged out. He's an action star that any scene requires him to run. It's like a stutter step. But also he's not the, he's not like a, he's not like a

Jean-Claude Van Dam action star who like beats people up in fights. He's like jumping from explosions action star. Yeah. He's not even a Bruce Willis normal guy action star. He's like, you know, if Adrian Brody was an action star, which I guess he isn't some movie. Yeah, Predators. But there's something movie about child bros. There's something about Nicholas cages. There's something about Nicholas cages. Sheer dedication to not giving a

shit about most of the movie that sells it to me as an action star. He's very mumbly, but in a fun way in this. Yeah. So what do you do? You guys going to give your your final judgments? Here to give his. Oh, that's right. I think I'll agree with Dan. I think it's a hair below movie I kind of liked and four hairs above a good bad. I didn't realize it was just five hairs separating that. Yeah, it's so close. I don't even want to know how you want to be one. It's like a gypsy's whisper.

It's like a gypsy's whisper. It's like a gypsy's whisper. It's like a gypsy's whisper. It's like a gypsy's whisper. It's like a gypsy's whisper. It's like a gypsy's whisper. It's like a gypsy's whisper. It's like a gypsy's whisper. Such a thin line between sanity and insanity. Good evil. We're two sides of the same coin you and I. So the coin is it's a novelty. You got all the time in the world. It's a novelty coin that I put our faces on. I got it at the carnival. This, I don't know, we're just doing things that villain say to each other. Boy. This is the part of the podcast

where we answer letters from listeners. It's called the flop house mailbag segment for letters from you the viewers to us the flop house in a bag mail to us for the podcast. No song. No song's allowed but I'll find some way to delay the letters segment rated R number one April 8th 2013 AD 2.0 dot com I'm gonna sign off on the name of this thing, etc I'm halfway through the name of the segment. I'm right This letter is titled flop house TV

Well, we have to break a losus. It's from Ronnie Lastname with Hell. He writes, Hold down Stuart Elliott Housecat, an Al Madrigal who I assume is screening all of these emails after his hostile takeover. Yeah. While I was sitting right there glaring at us.

While I was sitting on the toilet and reading the latest entertainment weekly, which is how I receive all of my entertainment and weekly news. I noticed a new MTV show listing. It's a talk show coasted by none other than Flophouse guest host Sarah Schaeffer episode 22, Vantage Point. That's true.

Nicky and Sarah live on MTV on MTV Tuesday nights at 11 p.m. I recommended highly. This made me wonder why have the original peach is not penetrated the boob tube. Keep in mind I don't consider mr. Kalan and mr. McCoy's cameos on the daily show full penetration I mean we although mr. Wellington's video drone experience does count. Oh Yeah, when you went it when you had that video tape in your belly. Yeah, and you had sex with Debbie Harry Yeah, so I did all those things so I further you said goodbye to the old flesh Yeah, why do I need that flesh anymore?

I've become one with a greater consciousness So I further wondered what kind of shows would be best tailored to you guys here a few suggestions Joey is hailing a hosting old-time in movies. I'll turn classic movies. That's a job I would I would definitely love stew and house cat story time on Nick Jr Which would be summarily canceled after one episode, where it's Frank Sexual Confedin. Dan McCoy would certainly be the third most popular newsman in the New York City area market. That's pretty, I mean, it's one of the two biggest media markets in the country, along with Davenport.

And Ronnie, there's a post-script, he says, in a recent episode, Ellie pronounced John Constantine's name as Constantine instead of the actual correct pronunciation See it's not only Dan who gets words wrong PPS but it's still mostly Dan look as long as I'm Jewish I'm gonna pronounce it John Constantine. It's properly pronounced Constantine wait that didn't even sound like Cage that sounded like a ghost to sing it John Constantine as you guys have already acknowledged, we've already been through Stuart's ideal television vehicle.

It's a surprise. Yep. What was it called? Stuart's Sex Watching Pirate Show? Well, he just scribes. He just scribes other people. Sex Describer. Sex Describer.

He's a pirate who just scribes playing sex. I don't have a lot of words, so I have to use saxophone sounds. But it seemed worth pursuing, you know, like what our television vehicles should be. Yeah, sure. Well, I'm gonna probably be a tricked-out ambulance like X-T0-1. But with the TV in it, that'd be my TV vehicle. Well, it yours be, Dan. Well, you're show-by.

I'll tell you what my show is afterwards. Oh, wait, I have to... I thought we were casting each other. Oh, well, I see. Oh, well, Dan's would be called the side guy. It's about a single guy who also has a wife and a cat somehow who just can't seem to get it together, even though he has a high-paying television job.

So it's like the single guy. It's a slice of life. Yeah. It's what I'm saying. Yeah, basically, the later in this Borg9 plays Manie the Dorm slice of life. Yeah, yeah, basically an earnest Board. The later in this boring nine plays manny the dormant weird thing though You're also psychic thus the name the double meaning of side. It's spelled PSY guy Yeah, but whenever you get a psychic message you go

Not again, and then you got to do an adventure. It's probably how I react, but it's all the more you just don't do the adventure Probably would and you just watch TV and there adventure. Yeah, and it's tired. I probably would. And you just watch TV. And there's a sweep sweep storyline where your knee gets hurt and then is invaded by the spirit of a killer. And your knee is sneaking out at night and killing people and then coming back to your leg. Oh, so what's pretty good.

So what my show, but it's called the side guy. Rated are rated are it's rated our show. It's Ellie's, that's not, that's not, this is a rated R. It's a rated R show, it's on Spice Channel. A lot of hardcore sex, but you don't get to do any of it. What if Ellie, you're neat as? Ellie could be like a doctor who style a show where like a criminologist, a mentalist. What? Yeah, like Dr. Food, a mentalist, a criminal. The doctor is, no, I'm imagining him traveling through time.

I like it. I don't get it. He's a doctor that travels through time. Oh boy. So I can sleep with all my favorite star crushes who have been dead for years. And I'm the pervazoid. But I mean, he's just talking about sleeping with dead bodies. No, no, no, they're living people.

I would go back to when they were still alive. So you're going to make them live again? No, I'm going back. It's called Elliott. Caitlin starfucker. Each week I have sex with this different star. Old Hollywood. Clark Gable Spencer Tracy. Read a new earth. Clark Gable again, because he was that good.

It's like, I don't care. I'm a straight man, but these are the stars of old Hollywood. Come on. I'm not gonna pat if Clark Able comes on to me. That's a story. I'm gonna eat dinner out with for a long time. Wait, did you just say eat out? Yeah, on that story. Okay, and no, it would go like this. Ingrid Bergman, Merna Lloyd, Teresa Wright. That would be my order. That seems pretty good. So then we get Start throwing some other stars. How about your Luis Brooks? Yeah, Luis Brooks, sure. I know you got the 20s. Anime Wong, definitely. Elliot Gould, you got it.

But no mustache. He has to shave it off. It's a big old film. George Siegel with mustache. So this next letter. Wait, what's the name? It's called Starfucker. Elliot Kay, let's try it. Elliot Kay, Starfucker. This next letter. What's the name? It's called Starfucker. L.E. K. Let's try. Okay.

Starfucker. This next letter is titled, help me get revenge. Okay. I like the stuff. It sounds like Stuart Sally. I'm going to have trouble pronouncing it. First one, practice hugging people, but frowning while you do it. I apologize for mispronouncing this. Adjahar last name withheld.

So this is, he says, recently, my best friend invited me to a for mispronouncing this. Adjahar, last name withheld. So this is, he says, recently my best friend invited me to a ceremony where he took command of a Navy SEAL team. Oh wow. Nothing wrong with that and in and of itself. However, during the ceremony, he took several thinly veiled jabs at me and my green beret brothers.

Since he was at the podium and I was standing at attention, super intimidated already. Yeah, just the fact that this is a navy seal and a green beret with an arctic with a beef is really more than we can handle. Outnumbered 50 to one by seals, I was completely helpless. I have since been plotting against him conducting covert reconnaissance of his house while seemingly babysitting his children. Studying his weaknesses of character, he seems to drink a lot of beer, and weaknesses of body, definitely balding, but how can I use that against him? Alas, I was stab him in the head. He, he no longer has that hair.

The hair would cushion the blow. Alas, I would ship it off. A protective crust. What is in your hair, Dan? But he would describe it as a crust. What is in your hair, Dan? He would describe it as a crust. Last I was shift off to Afghanistan before I could deliver a devastating blow to his solar plexus, but also before he couldn't flex further emotional harm against me. Or so I thought. Last week I was forced to watch active valor. Truly one of the worst movies ever made. And confident, boring, surprisingly unrealistic. I can't prove it, but I think my friend forced his men to film the sponsorosity Just so I'd be tortured by it later. Not the first movie that would be made just to torture somebody else with it You may be thinking we can't make fun of seals. They're American heroes Surely that does not include anyone involved in the making of active valor or Andre

P please help movie better seal. Yeah, I I was gonna say right we're talking about the soldiers or the eminels please help out a battle hardens special forces operator who does not have the ability or Whits to effectively make fun of his friend you must fight my fight for me I believe in you please trash active valor for America and Jesus and 9-11 wow that's a lot. That's a lot of pressure, but I think we may have to take that him up on that at some point. You do put your finger on the problem, I think. Which is, we would feel bad making fun of non-professional actors.

If I'm gonna make fun of a... If I'm gonna make fun of a former soldier, I'm gonna make fun of that guy in battleship that knocks that alien's teeth out. And we would see actually a former soldier. Yeah, that's how he losses legs. Yeah. He didn't lose him to make the cage shooting his legs off or something.

The real sensitive Dan. No, but it's true. We would feel bad making fun of, especially the acting of guys who are not actors who are there for other skills. So I think, so this is my idea. I don't know if we can do active valor because we're just civilians and we would get beat up. And we're all losses. The years classic revenge never goes wrong ever. Rig it so your friend is elected prom queen. And when she gets up on the stage, don't

but watch a pigs blood on him. Yeah. Never goes wrong. Yeah, that's perfectly. Classic revenge. We all watch carry and we we pause the tape when that happened. And we high five to each other. I don't know what came from the state yeah then credits roll or like the show revenge you could be something I never watch and therefore don't know anything about classic revenge so let we'll think about active valor but we would we would have to get a letter from the president that said it's okay for us to make fun of navy seals. Obama the balls in your court.

So the resident Obama is your ball is your president court. Next this next letter is from. But thanks for listening even from overseas. Appreciate it. This next letter is from L. Kennedy and she writes I actually I absolutely adore you guys. Whenever I'm in Deadline Hell, the podcast cheers me right up. Oh, and I think that would be a good movie

about a newspaper run by the devil. Okay, I like it. Deadline Hell. Starring Meryl Streep as the Deadline. I'm going to pull on. Yep. And Paul Rubens as the hell. Oh, weird.

So she writes, they fall in love. Okay. They have a child child that child's a dinosaur. I got a demon. A sour dinosaur. That child's a dinosaur. El continues to write, oh, I think Nick Cage has blinded you to the gym that is Bill Zayn. You've got to do another Zayn movie soon. Nick Cage. Oh, yeah, we should do another zane movie yeah she says check out survival ironland

it's a real treat sounds like a poor noob and the main chick shows her boobs anyway well the only one is a word well well who's the main first of all the main chick has a name her name is Kelly broke oh okay well that's certainly a fine woman's and we're all familiar with her boobs from piranha the movie that

that uh that we saw for Elliot's bachelor party. No, it was the day of my wedding. Yeah, the movie that we saw, he was thinking about that movie when he said his vows. Yeah, they're called, yeah, well, they're prayers technically. On the morning of my wedding, all of us went to go see piranha 3D. And true story at this very very moment i still keep the ticket stuff in my wallet was the best day of my life number one because of the wedding number two prana 3d with my house and also i had pop eyes for lunch and to this moment i keep the memory of kelly brook naked in my brain you know there's that too is that too i mean the wedding you've forgotten yeah oh man i got to make room for other stuff there are other boob to think about uh... but uh... i i i i gave al canities

full name though because i wanted to say she uh... she in her signature she says the she's the author of the killer instincts and out of uniform series what now uh... mentioning navy seals before i went to her, the tagline for the out of uniform series of romance novels that she wrote is give a seal and inch and he'll take your heart. Oh, and make sure it's not about Andre the performing seal.

Some of the titles to these novels, you got your hot and heavy. Okay, classic. Hot and bothered. Uh-oh. Feeling heavy. Okay, classic. Hot and bothered. Uh-oh. Feeling hot. Well, the hot, getting hotter. You should take those uniforms off and they're so hot all the time.

I think that's what they're gonna do. And hotter than ever. And I have a picture of one of the covers. I got the color of your getting hotter here. That guy is shredded and like that. Oh man, look at the fucking com gutters on that guy. Shredded like an injured turtle. Yeah. Ha ha ha. That guy has shredded like that. Look at the fucking com gutters on that guy. Shredded like an inditorial. Yeah.

That guy has super abs. So if you're a flop house lady fan who's looking into some sweet Navy SEAL romance action. Or a Navy SEAL who's fantasizing about their fellow Navy SEALs. They'd repeal Don't Ask Don't Tell or equal opportunity. Sure. Or if you just want to read about the thing that somebody also be reading if they're fantasizing about you. If you're in Navy SEAL. I got confused for his life. If you're a Navy SEAL, you want to project yourself into the story.

Okay. What's your turn? You said them about an interesting idea. Someone else may turn it on by you. And who is not turned on by that? Yeah. Then go to lcanity.com, check out these series of romance novels. Maybe we'll get a set and give it away as a gift pack for the latest flop-ass contest winner. Which one's that? Do we have a contest going on?

Dan, you remember what's that contest? No, we don't have a contest going on. Although I was thinking that we should have another one where the... Let's make it up on the spot. Name the movie that we review. We haven't done one of those in a while. Oh, that's right. We should do another one of those. She reminded me of those titles, reminded me of my favorite ever romance title that I saw when I worked with Barnes Snowballs. It was called Millionaire Cup and Pregnant Mom to Be. And I thought, perfect. Everything I need is right in the title. Right up there with the Billionaires and Babies. Sirius. So this last letter. What was the URL for that website? It's l kennedy. L the letter or E LLE, E LLE, as it like like a magazine. L. Okay, sure.

Okay, and there's also an L magazine in New York City. Like a like a L would star of a legally blonde. Let's say, okay. This thought it, her name was just all period e-l-l-e kennedy kennedy like the president romance novels

yeah uh... for writing and novels and needs thank for everybody for writing and oh there are more letters one more letter for the evening and titled good directors bad movies it's from andrew last name with held he writes of bizarre foods your house cat

at all listen to the paper boy episode got me thinking about one of my favorite directors no not lead angles i'm a i'm a huge Pedro almodovar fan and the idea of him almost directing a trashy american knockoff of his other work is weirdly upsetting to me i feel like an almodovar paper boy would have been so bad it could have made me love all of his movies a lot less. Suddenly I'd be rewatching bad education or talk to her and I'd just imagine the whole thing in English with mumbly accents, weird camera dissolves, and gal Garcia Bernal getting peed on.

Has the director ever made a movie or run a movie that's such a grotesque self-parody that it made his or her earlier better films seem so much worse to you in retrospect. A common example of this might be Wes Anderson before he won most people back with Moonrise Kingdom or Woody Allen at various points in his career. I feel like Woody Allen is a go-to and another one is Steven Spielberg, where some of his recent movies have just been not, he sets such a high standard with a lot of his earlier movies and his more recent ones are so mixed and uneven yeah I mean I don't know that there's like I don't know that I like I like his older ones less as a result it's hard to think of a

director where the problem is that his movies are such a grotesque parody of themselves that they make you like his earlier movies less I mean I don't have that feeling with us with Sanderson. I can understand that kind of criticism. More with him. It's more that often, you know, directors only have a certain number of good movies in them sometimes. Like no one bats, you know, 100%. I that was a terrible. I don't know how to use sports metaphors. No, no, yeah, they bet 100%. But no one, you know, like no one, no one's the best record ever. Is that a possible thing to have as a 100% or something? No one's a great

man. I don't even think that's likely. I mean, like I tried to watch Alpharish Cox Topaz recently. It's not get through. There's one good sequence in that. It's not for it. It's the rest is not very good. Nobody, I mean, there's the only directors you could say have all good movies are the ones that like died young basically. Yeah. Um, but even like you got guys like Francis Ford Coppola who made some of the best movies like the Godfather is arguably the best movie ever. And the conversation is amazing. Of Hawk Lips now is amazing, but then he made a lot of movies like Jack that are not so amazing.

Braim Soaker's Dracula. Braim Soaker's Dracula, which is when he put a lot of work into too. Like that was not a work for higher job. But they're also like, the director's like Tim Burton who like have their work has curl. Yeah, that's my answer, Tim Burton.

Tim Burton. Well, but he's the thing with Tim Burton. That's maybe the right. That's the one where the deficiencies of his later work show up the weaknesses of his earlier work. Because he's such a he's such a good visual stylist, but he's not a great storyteller. And so when his style got boring. It was not, I mean, now that minute now that sort of a breathtaking visual style is so easy to achieve with CGI and it becomes easy to achieve with CGI and it becomes dull. When it was once idiosyncratic as mainstream and he hasn't moved past it, something like Alice in Wonderland is nothing but visuals, but they're all kind of like ugly, saney CGI visuals. And especially when you've influenced so many young directors.

Well, when there's so much of the god's movement feels like it comes out of his designs, you know? Yeah. Like, Robert Smith and Tim Burton. Pretty much. Yeah. I feel like Robert Smith and Edward Sizzarhands are basically where that comes from. And like, once everything looks like that, you know, it's, it loses its, its uniqueness. Mm-hmm.

But a lot of his earlier stuff, when you go back, like Beetlejuice is still great. Yeah. When you look back and look like the Batman movies he did are not very good, you know. But the best stuff from his early career, I think, is the craziest. The stuff where there is no kind of rational design to it, it is really just his brain spilling out in a movie, like Beetlejuice or something. I mean, like this less Tim Burton, necessarily as the otur of it, but like Peewee's big adventure is a great clash between his sensibility and Paul

Rubin's sensibility. And that's, it works really well. And for a long time, I would have said that the comb brothers had pretty much as close to a perfect record as anybody else, but then they kind of had a run of stinkers, just a couple in a row and that was enough to throw it off, you know, but they're still as they're still got one of the higher averages, I would think. Yeah. Probably the highest average would be John Vigo. Sure. I was going to say Stuart Gordon. Oh yeah, we're sure Stuart Gordon too. I mean, that's 1000%. But like guys who made like a movie.

Three movies. Like or like when John Vigo is basically like one full movie on a couple of shorts. And a couple shorts. Like that's a pretty good way to keep your your average up is to make a bunch of good movies like that and then die. So. So this is the last segment on the podcast where we recommend something that you might like to watch. What about the one where we and contrast to what we watched? What about the segment where we create a resolution to become better people for the next episode and then the next episode we report on it. That's been cut.

Oh boy, so we're just jerks again. Yeah. Woo. You're off the chain. Elliot off the chain. Starfucker. Elliot Unchained. Coming this May.

Starfucker. Rated R. Rated NC 17. it off the chain, starfucker. Elliott unchained. Coming this May. Starfucker. Rated R. Rated NC 17. They brought back the X rating for it. Oh wow. And it's on TV. It's on ABC family.

Yeah. Okay. It's very strange, but you know, they put up the money. I think it's weird. Do they say ABC family because they want the whole family to be there or? Uh, because it's actually the original name of the channel was ABC head of the family. Oh, whoa. I'm listening.

But unfortunately too many people messed with the head and you know what happens then. There's too much new Jack Lundlevel and FCC shut it down. And too much new Jack London. Yeah. Anyway, so what's the second about? The second man movies we like. These recommendations. Usually at contrast to the movie we watch,

but in a turn off your list, a week where we watch stolen. I don't know if there's a better movie that we can recommend, but we'll try. I think, yeah, we probably can find a better movie. Stu Rat, what do you have? Okay. This might be a little contentious.

You guys all know me. I'm a bit of a, what they might call a gore-hound. I'm actually I'm going to recommend a movie titled Universal Soldier, Day of Reckoning. I think the like seventh movie in the Universal Soldier series. Based on the song of the same day. I'm already expecting big fans of the Unisol mythos to be writing in as we speak. Unisol sounds like a purpose cleaner. I know, right. But that's what's called. So Universal Soldier Day of Reckoning, it's a later later sequel. It does have Jean-Claude Van Damne, Dolph Lungren, and some other dudes in it. So just the two of them? Wait, real quick. This is a movie that Let's see

Up tall DOS a user of IMDB Discards as not universal soldier avoid at all costs and another one Dan Cardozo underscore 22 says let me just say This is in fact the worst universal soldier movie ever But somehow somehow you like Loading recommendations. It's no, it's you liked it. The low-wing recommendation. It's, no, it's actually pretty good. It's a movie that like plays around with the, like, I guess the background.

It's surprisingly, well, it's very violent. It's, oh, the original universal soldier was kind of a fun sci-fi action, almost horror movie. And this romp. Yeah. With a breakout performance of a young kid named Dolph Lingerin. Not at all. But this lady's universal soldier movie,

it kind of feels a little bit like if a universal soldier maybe lost highway or another David Lynch movie and the raid colon redemption. Managed to have some kind of weird baby. The actions really horrific and violent and there's a lot of weird slow moments that take on almost a dreamlike quality and it's got a very, very low budget, but it manages to be, if anything kind of interesting. And for me, it works almost like a metaphor for violent action movies in general. So check it out if you're looking for a super weird,

super gory and violent movie. I'm gonna break with the rules because I haven't seen movies that I enjoyed. Okay, since our last taping. So I'm just gonna say, is that because they were bad movies because you are a cramudge? Probably both.

Okay. But I watched a couple of pilots that I enjoyed. So I'm gonna recommend a couple of television shows. I don't know whether they're gonna maintain, but I enjoyed the first episodes. I watched Hannibal. Okay. Everyone's mad about Mads.

Everybody is mad about Mads. It's hard not to be. Look at him with those chiseled Danish looks. It had a lot of the sort of serial killer bullshit that normally bothers me, namely a profiler who walks into a scene of the crime and basically knows what happened immediately. But somehow, this is some kind of Valhalla rising in here. But somehow made that character work by making him more of a damaged live wire, like empathetic to the point of having trouble surviving in the world character. And it genuinely felt creepy in the way that a serial killer entertainment hasn't done in a while. And I also enjoyed a BBC American show by the name of Orphan Black about

a woman who encounters her exact double on a subway platform right before she commits suicide. The double or her? The double commit suicide. And she steps into the doubles life because of problems in our own existence and soon finds that she's at the center of some sort of weird conspiracy. And she has twice the problem she had before. And it's a fun show. So those are the two that I would recommend. So Hannibal and Orphan Black. Yeah. And I'm going to recommend a movie that I saw in life, because this is a movie, podcast. Thanks for clarifying.

Although this was what the boob tube show. The tube guest, the tube house, which is actually about tube tops. Tube tops. We love them. You wear them. Let's talk, the tube house. Bear shoulders thumbs up.

I'm going to recommend a documentary movie. This is a real-life movie kind of. It's called Room 237. It's gotten a little bit of buzz. It's a documentary about the movie. It's called a B story. It's called a B movie. Room 237 is is documentary about the shining but not about the making of the movie it's about There's five different people whose interpretations of the film are gone into in great detail and their interpretations are to say the least wrong Then they range from the semi plausible that the movie is a metaphor for either the Holocaust or the killing of the Native Americans by the American government to the very Im plausible that this is the movie that Stanley Kubrick made to reveal to the world that he faked the moon landing or this one woman who just kind of says stuff about minotors and children that don't really make any sense.

But what the movie is really about and you don't there's no narrative the only narration in this movie is from the people talking telling their theories You don't see them on screen all the footage from the movie is either taken from the shining or other movies And there's a little bit that I think was shot for this film in a in a movie theater But for the most part it's all footage that's been edited and Slowed down or reversed or eloped And it's a really fascinating movie about how people can take a movie like The Shining and read so much into it and devote so much of their time and energy to puzzling out

what they assume are very deliberate hidden meanings put there by this God-like director Stanley Kubrick who has control over every detail on screen at any given moment and every single instance of anything in the movie and just kind of a fascinating look at how people wrap themselves up in a film and get lost in it. And the way that it's edited, I thought was really interesting and it seems to me one of the few documentaries I've seen in a movie theater that felt like it had taken lessons of the documentaries you see on YouTube where they will replay footage, where they'll zoom in on things, where they'll create computer models that fit the footage, like all sorts

of different things. And the music in it sounds like the kind of music that John Carpenter writes for his movies with a lot of keyboard and stuff and synthesizers. It's awesome. It's awesome. So the whole thing, it's really good, and it creates this kind of hypnotic spell all around the shining. This movie that is basically like a this kind of hypnotic spell all around the shining this movie that is basically like a good kind of high class horror movie and at the end it feels like these people are trying to rationalize

themselves why they like this movie that like they can't like a movie that has a bunch of skeletons in an elevator full of blood there must be some deeper meaning to it and they seem to be kind of fooling themselves and ever descending circles but they just ask a Stanley Kubrick to explain it well he died about twenty years ago everyone who knew Stanley Kubrick who is yes and everyone since then since the movie came out everyone who is involved in the shining seems to be saying this is total crap none of these things these people are saying are true but the point of it is not whether these theories are

yeah Stanley Kubrick's ghost. Shut up your mouth. Stanley Boo Brick. Wait a minute, got boobs? No, no, Boo. I like the idea of this ghost. He's a ghost. He's a Boo Brick. No, not. The chestiest ghost around.

No, but it's a really fascinating movie and a really hypnotic. And it made me really want to watch the shining again, which honestly is not a feeling I've had in 11 years. So it was really good. I recommend it. Room 237. Well, guys, so a couple of solid recommendations. Yep. You mean you guys, right? Because you're mad at me for no, no, no, we're not mad. I mean, it's maybe a little mad about you. We are mad about you, Dan. Not as mad as we Mads, but we're mads about McCoy. Yep. Same way

Helen hunt was mads about Paul Reiser except let's just keep going Well, you know Whenever we talk about Nicholas Cage film. It's like Christmas, but Christmas has to end doesn't so does the flop house It's like Christmas, but Christmas has to end. And so does the flop house. Wait, are you breaking up with this? This is the last episode. Yeah, are you dumping us? I found it.

I found it. I'm dumping us. I found it. From now on, I'm in love with how did this get made? Wait, what? Is this a bit for the flop house? I've been Dan McCoy. Okay, uh, I guess I'm Stuart Wellington.

And I'm Elliot Kalen, the end question mark. Goodnight everyone. Goodnight. Wuh, man. I didn't know you had the hazing on DVD. Awesome. That's a relatively reason development. That is an awesome purchase. Awesome.

A lot of purchase of pumpkin butts and Brad Dorif. Probably a character from a James Bond movie. Awesome purchase. I haven't even pumpkin butt. We haven't talked about activity services pumpkin boat in the long term. Oh pumpkin boat. Pumpkin boat. I knew you were behind this. I detected your foul stench and I got away.

No, why is he so I'm talking like Princess Leia. The game's over pumpkin boat. Is that what they call me? That's so hurtful.