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The Golden Hour - The Golden Hour LIVE from Vulcan Gas Co. | TGH #177 w/Brendan Schaub, Erik Griffin & Chris D'Elia

Episode Date: March 27, 2026

The guys are live from Vulcan Gas Co. for the first ever Golden Hour LIVE! They talk about Erik's issues with a stinky maintenance man and ANOTHER Erik Griffin on the upgrade list with him. T...hen Chris tells the guys about picking out his out fit and the breakthrough he had sleeping the other night. They talk about being cool dads and dad jokes, and close the show with fan questions. Get this episode AD FREE + 2 PATREON ONLY episodes/month only at https://patreon.com/thegoldenhourpodcastHims - To get simple, online access to personalized, affordable care for ED, Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://hims.com/goldenQuince - Right now, go to https://quince.com/golden for free shipping and 365-day returns.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 We want to see if we can do more of these, and so thanks for coming out, you know what I mean? It was a great show, thank you. Oh, thank you. Oh, RFK's here? Don't know what we're talking about. This is... You said...
Starting point is 00:00:52 Wait, I feel like I'm a stand-up and the chair's going to come with me. I got to get back to it. Now you have to stay for the whole night. I know. I have to... Dude, you... I'm going to have to do my show later here,
Starting point is 00:01:03 and you're just... He's stuck? Get his Xbox or whatever, so he can fucking have... something to do. It's going to break. It's like shallow howl. What's it made out of? Here we go. No, no, no, I didn't say it. I didn't say it. I didn't say it. I didn't say it. I didn't say it. I didn't say it. I also didn't say anything when Eric said changed the stools to chairs and I saw those chairs and I should have said something. I'm just saying they said they go, they go that's a small chair and I go well it's it's okay.
Starting point is 00:01:34 No, that's not how you did it. He did it like this. He looked right at my face and went like this. well, it's a small chair. Just like that is how we did it. Brendan is big. He's an athlete. Hey, thanks for coming out, Golden Hour Live. Thanks for being a Golden Hour fan. Sir,
Starting point is 00:01:51 first time, first time doing it. It might be something we do in the future, but we wanted to do it. And you know what the main reason was is we haven't seen this guy live in a while. I know. Yeah. The new Ricky Ricardo over here, you know, him and his wife making all those funny videos.
Starting point is 00:02:08 Have you guys seen those? It's all her idea. Oh, come on. Give yourself some credit, dude. I don't do my. You're so humble, bro. Look. You want to act like he doesn't go,
Starting point is 00:02:20 babe, here's what we're going to do. She's like, let me sleep in. He's got a whole crew. There's a boom guy. No, let's see how far I can throw you. So stupid. Dude, this is Golden Hour, and you know what? Do you like test it?
Starting point is 00:02:39 You're just laughing to try and suck it. Sorry, I know, I had... You know what, can we start putting the count of the... That's three fat jokes from you now already. Let's get that on the... No, that's the joke. He's one of my best friends. I love him, so shut the fuck up.
Starting point is 00:02:54 But this is Golden Hour. We're happy to be here. And, dude, how do you feel? I feel good. But I already had a situation at the hotel. Dude. Wait, wait, wait, wait, hold on. All right.
Starting point is 00:03:08 Hold on, hold on. I just want to say this. I want everybody on understand that when we bitch on the podcast about something, bitching on a podcast is different from shit that happens to real life. Okay. Okay. Sometimes stuff happens when we come, we play it up, and it's fun.
Starting point is 00:03:22 Because we rarely like, we rarely called a manager. Oh, yeah. Oh, I've done it once. Okay. And I did it last episode. Right, okay. And I kind of did it to talk about it on the episode. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:03:32 So, all right, so today I bring my Xbox everywhere because I stream live, right? So I, but I messed the TV up. I did something to the TV. So what? I was trying to plug the thing in and the whole thing. Everything fell. That's annoying. You're annoying.
Starting point is 00:03:48 Yeah. I was like, oops. So I called downstairs. The guy comes up, right? And he stinks. Today. He smells like shit. Brendan stinks.
Starting point is 00:04:05 You know, and it's the kind of stink where I was like... What ethnicity? Come on. Not yet. No, he wasn't... Wait 25 minutes. here. We got some of those ethnicities in here, so chill. He wasn't that one.
Starting point is 00:04:20 You know what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They're always customer service. But anyway, this guy stinks. And then I'm like, oh, no. Yeah. Okay, and then he also recognizes me. So he's like, hey, man, whoa, what up? And so now he's trying to fix the TV, and he's like, you know, under arms and he's talking to me. And you're like, how long can I breathe out? I'm gonna die. Now, here's my question to both of you.
Starting point is 00:04:44 And I'll, you know, do you call down? Or when I'm walking by the front desk. Oh, that he smells bad? No, no. Excuse me. And I didn't. The guy you sent smells like shit. Hey, the guy you say, he smells bad? You know what guy.
Starting point is 00:05:02 Well, start sniffing. You'll smell him soon. No, but you've never had a plumber or an electrician or something come over? That's part of the job is to not. be funky. Yeah, it is. Sure. Yeah. You should have it on the website or the Yelp, you know. They have it on there. By
Starting point is 00:05:18 the way, I don't, I don't smell bad. You know, I'm not one of those or whatever. Was he a big heavy guy? No. No, he wasn't, dude. He sent the picture. Wait, can you put things up here or no? You took a picture of him? Yeah, because I was late. No, it's hilarious. It's even funny.
Starting point is 00:05:34 Because I'm late, no, I was laying in my bed. It's funnier than that. You're like, yeah, yeah, it's Montez. That's crazy. It's even funnier than that. It's just So the thing This is great This picture's great
Starting point is 00:05:45 Bro I passed by the front desk And I thought about it It was just a second Like I didn't want to be a dick about it I wanted the guy To get fired or anything
Starting point is 00:05:52 But sometimes you want to go Hey maybe have a room Available for the For the engineers Oh like to freshen up To freshen up Wow Fuck
Starting point is 00:06:03 It's a fancy hotel I'm not at the days in That they can stink You know what I'm saying Oh wow The days in Bro, bro. That dude can be funky as hell at the days in.
Starting point is 00:06:18 Look it, look, look, look. That's it. Look at this, but that can be anybody. He's trying to fuck the TV, too. Right there, right there. You know, he's doing right there. So, picture this, and he's going like this. So, yeah, man, you know, comedy.
Starting point is 00:06:35 You're doing comedy, right? How's that feel? I hear comedy's not doing well right now. And I'm just like, this motherfucker. He has, honestly, shoes of people that stink. If we're honest, you look at that, you go, oh, yeah, yeah. It's a stinky shoe. Those shoes have no traction.
Starting point is 00:06:53 The color, no traction. Yeah, so he basically... Holy far, dude. That's why he stinks so bad. He fell in some fucking trash. There's the word crap on the thing. I come right. I bet the guy's here tonight.
Starting point is 00:07:05 He's all, motherfucker. No. You know, I thought about that? You're a big ass one play, Fortnite. I come up there. Call the duty, get your shit right. My bad. Even though it does say Fortnite right now, but I don't play that.
Starting point is 00:07:17 You just hear in the back, man, that's bullshit. I totally fixed it. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, hold on. He was. Well, hold on. You hear what he just did? You can't even see him, and you already gave him an accent? You can see.
Starting point is 00:07:31 You can see. You can see. Wow. He doesn't look wet. Wow. Wow. Oh, it's wet. Dude, you can see.
Starting point is 00:07:43 You can see his. Hold on. This guy is a fucking... No, you can see his brown ear. You can see his brown ear. His brown ear. That could be anybody. Wait, is that a cauliflower air?
Starting point is 00:07:56 That could be anybody. Zoom in. Zoom in. Zoom in. Zoom in on his ear. Zoom in on his ear. He's collie flower. Oh, no!
Starting point is 00:08:04 Oh, shit. It's me. He would have fucked you up. I take it all back. Yo, that was Brendan in disguise the guy's like the Pink Panther. He's just like, here to fix your... Hey, here to fix your Xbox.
Starting point is 00:08:17 Wait, did he smell like B.O. or shit? B.O. Got the hard-hitting questions, man. But, bro. It's not even dude. Be fucking cool. B-O's worse. I'd rather him shit himself and walk in with a shitty-out-your-mind.
Starting point is 00:08:30 You're out of your mind. No, no, no, no, no. B-O is not, you don't. You know what? Let me give me explain. No. I completely agree with you because if he smells like shit, something happened. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:40 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, 100%. And I have sympathy for that. If he smells like B-O, something happened like he's been working all fucking day. Nah, bro. And it's a nerds fucking Xbox. Right. So get your shit together. That if you...
Starting point is 00:08:53 He's working. No, but if he shit himself, something happened. Or not. No, something happened. You don't just walk around with shit in your pants. What's more... What's...
Starting point is 00:09:02 I'll tell you what? What? Could have just happened in the hallway. He was walking... He went... And there it is. And there it is. He took it to Disgusting Bill.
Starting point is 00:09:11 Yeah. Dude. Hold on. And then he's like... Wait, wait. What if it was like this? He's at the door, he knocks, and I don't come to answer the door yet, and then he shits himself. Then I go, hey, what's up?
Starting point is 00:09:24 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I have sympathy for that guy. Reasonable. Reasonable. This guy stinking like this at 1 p.m.? No, no, the whole thing changes if he shits himself a lot. If he shits himself a lot. You fire that guy.
Starting point is 00:09:42 Because somebody would have said something. Dude. I can't believe you're going to snitch on him, though. I didn't. That's my point. I'm saying that there was a moment where I was like, I just thought about it in a way of being like, do you want them to know, hey, you know, sometimes they shouldn't be funky? Then I thought, just how you're thinking, like, ugh, this is, ugh. That's some care stuff. Yeah, it feels disgusting.
Starting point is 00:10:01 Yeah, it is disgusting. So you just have to deal with it. Now my room still stinks. Well, really? Yeah. If you go back tonight? It was bad, bad. Oh, wow.
Starting point is 00:10:10 I'm not, it was bad. If you have, if you have shit, I'd rather shit my pants and have people smell that than think I'm a guy with BL. I fucking said it. Yeah, I agree. I stand by that. I don't give a shit. We all shit, we don't all that be up. Yes, dude, I got it.
Starting point is 00:10:28 I figured it out. You would rather shit yourself? Yeah, because it's a one-time thing, man. Right. That's what we're saying. Here we go. Now you're with us. When you shit yourself...
Starting point is 00:10:38 It's the one-time thing. When you shit yourself... I have shit myself quite a few times. We know. I know. So, trust me... We know. When you...
Starting point is 00:10:47 When you shit yourself, people think, well, okay, when you have B.O., people think, that guy has B.O. Right. When you shit yourself, people go, surely that guy doesn't shit himself all the time. Yeah, that's not your first time. Yeah, but B.O. is quick. Like, if you were just like, hey, man, you want some deodorant? No, see, I couldn't do that. That's why I didn't tell him and I didn't tell the people downstairs. I actually, after I took this picture, I said, hey, man, I'm going to get some coffee.
Starting point is 00:11:12 So just finish up. Oh, that's how he robbed your shit. No, he was fine. He's fucking rubbing a chicken under his arm. All right, so I have more story. So I flew from L.A.X. Okay. I'm on a red-eye flight.
Starting point is 00:11:28 It's a 12-55 a.m. flight. I get to the airport. Takes a red-eye to Austin. It's crazy. I know, but I, because I couldn't get here on the non-stop flight because I wouldn't have made this. So I had to leave.
Starting point is 00:11:39 I had to actually. Really? Yeah, there was no, anyways. So for some reason, I don't know if you've been at L-AX recently, but it takes like... No, I never. go to LAX. No, you go to Burbank or something, right? No, no.
Starting point is 00:11:49 Burbank has like nine flights. Okay, dude, can I finish my fucking story? I guess, dude, but just come correct. All right. This is what I had to deal with. This is unbelievable talking about. Have you ever been to LAX? No, that's not what I was saying.
Starting point is 00:12:03 Tell the story. What's that? What's a comedy club? It took 45... It took 45 minutes to get into the airport, man. Uh-huh? Something's going on over there. Forty five minutes.
Starting point is 00:12:14 Yeah. That's not that long. it is. I'm talking about the roundabout. Okay? When you got to... Just say,
Starting point is 00:12:22 it is. It is hilarious. Okay. All right. So, anyways, I'm, I'm looking for the upgrade. So before I got to the thing,
Starting point is 00:12:31 I was like, oh, I'm not going to get to upgrade. It's booked full. Right? It's booked full. So then, now they're about to board and I'm looking,
Starting point is 00:12:38 and it says, booked full, but one guy hasn't checked in. Okay? I look, on the list and I see my name. And it's that guy. I see my name at the top of the list. Okay. But I also
Starting point is 00:12:51 see, you got it, Nick? Look at this. There's two E. Griffs at the top of the list. Oh. There's two E. Griffs at the top of the list. Now, I'm like this. What? And then I go up to the guy and I go. He's like, I'm Evan Grypsmith.
Starting point is 00:13:13 Exactly. Another Eric Grypsmith? He's like, no, never mind. Sorry. I So I go up to the guy at the counter and I go, hey, I'm trying to be, I think it's hilarious. But it's like, you know. They don't give a fuck. They don't give a fuck.
Starting point is 00:13:29 You should have known that. It's past midnight. I hold my phone up and I go, hey man, isn't this crazy? There's two e-griffs at the top of the list. The guy looks at me, he's going like Chris, he's going like this. I wish he said, I don't give a fuck. He didn't say that, but that was the energy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:52 He was like, what? He went like that, what? And I was like, well, you know, because I'm E. Griff. Maybe it's Eric Gryph Smith. We don't know, but it's funny. Turns out also Eric Griffin. Really? Yes.
Starting point is 00:14:05 Oh, so, and then what? He still didn't laugh? Yeah. But it's actually hell. So he goes, what's your middle name? Because I want to know, because you know who? Who? Who?
Starting point is 00:14:16 Me. You said, what's your middle name? He asked me what my middle name is. The other Eric Griffin? No, no, no, just me. Because you know what the worst part. Did the guy not having it say, Well, what's your middle name?
Starting point is 00:14:25 No, the other Eric Griffin was nowhere around. My point is this. Because I was like, what if I'm the third Eric, I'm the second, you know what I mean? I'm not going to get to upgrade, right? Because this other fucking Eric Griffin is here. That's why he asked the middle name because you need to confirm which one you are. He was so upset that I was the guy.
Starting point is 00:14:45 That guy's just a different way that's to work at behind the point. So he was like, yeah, I told him my middle name. He was like, yeah, you got to upgrade. So then I, but here. Here's the thing. I don't even know. I'll tell you what this guy. He was such a dick because I go up to the gate and I said to the lady, I haven't got it yet. What's going on?
Starting point is 00:15:03 You're boarding. Should I wait? And she's like, yeah, just wait. So I'm waiting. It's like Group 7 is already boarded. I go over to that guy and I go, hey man, what's going on? He was like, yeah, I haven't released it yet. Oh, he hates it.
Starting point is 00:15:17 But you know what? I got the upgrade, so fuck him. He goes, I was hoping it was the other Eric Griffin. So you go on after Groups nine. Wow. So you got what kind of seat? I got to the first class. You got the upgrade.
Starting point is 00:15:32 I got the upgrade. Dude, you know what? You're at the point now where when you say, and this motherfucker in one of your stories, I think, nah, but Eric was probably being a piece of shit. Yeah, he always has problems. This guy. Not me?
Starting point is 00:15:49 No. Wait, wait, wait. Maybe I'm the same way. You think I asked for the stinky guy to come fix my thing? Yeah, you could let it slide. I did let it slide. You took a picture of when we've been talking about it. It's for the podcast.
Starting point is 00:16:02 Yeah, but still, you didn't let slide. I let it slide. Let it slide. I'm like, Dan, this is not shit. I resent the fact that people don't understand that this is for the comedy. What he did was he walked by the lobby,
Starting point is 00:16:14 took a whiff of that guy by mistake, and said, what's your job here? And he said, I fix the TV. And Eric goes, then I got a broken TV so he could take the picture and use this. You're welcome. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We needed that.
Starting point is 00:16:27 No, I, I, I, I, I think I'm the same way. We were both talking about this, though. Like, obviously, when, like, because when I tell this kind of stuff to my wife, my wife is like, no, no, no, no, no. You're a dickhead. And the other people are just trying to do their job. But you know what it is, too? There are also stories where if you're not in it,
Starting point is 00:16:49 nobody really gives a fuck. No, but check this out. Here comes another one. I know. You know, my thing's like, damn, crazy you got the upgrade? No, no, no, no, no. Fuck you.
Starting point is 00:17:03 And they got the upgrade. The end of the movie. Our wives, though, if they were in the hotel room, all right, they might call you a dick, but once they smelled that stinky guy, then it turns into like, can you do something about... You're the hero she needs. What are you going to do?
Starting point is 00:17:24 You're the hero she needs, yeah. My wife would be like, I don't smell it. And I would be so mad at that. Oh. You know what I mean? Oh my God. I would be like you don't smell it. That's what they do.
Starting point is 00:17:35 Come closer, put your nose closer to him. Put your nose closer to him. Yeah, you know, you would know, you would not take her head like she shit on the ground like a dog and just like, you don't fucking smell that asshole? You don't smell how funky this dude is? What the fuck are you doing? I'm teaching her a lesson.
Starting point is 00:17:54 I'm teaching her a lesson. Hey, let's talk about this. Huh? John Chavoltes shirt over here, huh guys? Oh, I know, bro. Take it easy. Take it easy. And just like a guy who shits his pants, I'm owning it, bro.
Starting point is 00:18:09 I'm owning it. Yeah. Nick had to show me to tell the line. Laugh all you want. That guy is cleaning up. No, I don't. Maybe the 70s. In the 70s?
Starting point is 00:18:24 Yeah, in the 70s. Yeah, not now. Now you run from that guy. The AI. Yeah, I know. I walked in, I was like, oh, it looks like we're starting a cold. Yeah. I'll tell you what, too.
Starting point is 00:18:38 I put this on, now this is the third time I'll tell this story because I told him and I told somebody else. And it's not a good story. I was in Vegas. Here we go. I haven't worn this yet. Oh, wait. For fuck sake.
Starting point is 00:18:56 Tell him why you're in Vegas. Tell us where you got it from, though. The owner of the company fucking, fucking. gave it to me. You know what, dude? You can't wear any clothes from anywhere. It's gotta be like, well, this little company, the guy likes me, and he fucking did me in a fucking shirt, and I'm wearing it, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Starting point is 00:19:13 All these companies you wear clothes, they all went out of business. I want to... It's all startups in LA. It's all startups. It's all bro startups in LA. I can't get them off the ground. I'm trying. I want to argue with you, but he gave me the pants, too.
Starting point is 00:19:32 So, um, so, listen, so I put, to, I put, I'm going to Vegas, right? I haven't been to Vegas in a while, and I'm like, looking through my stuff, and I see this, and I'm like, dude, I've never worn that. That's totally something I could wear in Vegas, right? So I go, hell yeah, pack it up, bring it to Vegas, put it on in Vegas, you know, they got those big mirrors in the hotel.
Starting point is 00:19:57 Oh, yeah. You look phenomenal in those mirrors, you know? Like, just the lighting is great. I know your ass was walking back. You got, you go, I got a move. move here. Should I unbutton more buttons? Like you're really feeling yourself. Oh, got you in a hotel marriage's forget it. You brought out your chain case and you were like Big ones. No, dude. We don't put in a big one so you don't use props. Okay. So, so it's fucking
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Starting point is 00:21:34 That's Hymns.com slash golden for your free online visit. That's Hymns.com slash golden. Feature products include compound drugs, products, but the FDA does not approve or verify for safety, effectiveness, or quality. Prescriptions is required. See website for details, restrictions, and important safety information. Actual price will depend on product and subscription plan. So I put it on and I go, oh, yeah, this is it.
Starting point is 00:21:58 So I put it on and I go and then I come here, okay? And I go, what other outfits do I have? And I go, hell yeah, looking. I'm looking at these other outfits. But in the corner of my eye, I'm kind of, I know this shirt is over there, and I keep looking at it. And I'm like, I look pretty fucking dope last night. I go, let's run it back. See, I like that.
Starting point is 00:22:19 Different pants, different pants, though, because, you know, I love all the piss stains. But yeah. Well, you're over 40. Oh, by the way, you say this. It makes me think of something. For the first night, in years, I did not wake up to piss in the middle of the night. Isn't that incredible, dude? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:45 At least my boring stories are short. But I will say this, no. No, in years, bro, in years. I'll wake up two, three times a night. Last night, or this night, whatever that was, was it, here's the game changer. In the, I couldn't fall asleep. It's like 11.
Starting point is 00:23:01 I go, fuck this. I'm going to go sleep in a different bed. I have many beds. And so... You're so... Here we go. So I take the elevator down. No, so I...
Starting point is 00:23:17 You passed the chain room. The chain room. I thought you said the chin room. I was like, that sounds kind of fun. Chin is just in there. But it smells like shit. Well, you got to have it on a different floor because his fridge is on it.
Starting point is 00:23:42 I fucked a joke up, and that was really good. All right, so, what was I saying? You're going to a different bed. So I went into a different bed, and I passed out immediately, didn't wake up at all until the next morning, bro. It's the bed. The bed's making me piss.
Starting point is 00:24:02 Or it's my wife. Or one of our dogs. Or the maintenance man. He's just fixing you. He sleeps with us. So you're going to sleep by yourself now? Move over. No, I don't,
Starting point is 00:24:18 dog, move over. I don't, I don't, no, I don't want to do that. Yeah, I sometimes. Yeah. When you, when you have kids, though, and all that shit, it happens. Like, my son, Calvin, you know, he's six, and now he's, like, aware of all the fucking scary stuff. Oh. You know, like, Billy's still like,
Starting point is 00:24:38 throw me off a fucking skyscraper, you know? But Calvin's like, wait a second. where do we go when we die? And I'm like, oh, no, dude. Now I'm scared, I'm like, dude, I'll just sleep with you. But, yeah, so, you got to sleep with them, you know, sometimes. It's just, you know, it's, you know. Wolfson is dinosaur phase, and it's fucking driving me crazy.
Starting point is 00:25:06 Because we made a mistake of letting him watch the dinosaurs eat the other dinosaurs. Yeah. Yeah, that's a mistake. Yeah. So now he's walking around with two dinosaurs. But he's not scared of it, right? No. See, that's the thing.
Starting point is 00:25:18 He's not old enough yet. Well, because he doesn't understand what's really happened. Yeah, no shit, that's my point. So he's going to wake up when he'd be like, he's going to be like, oh, this one's eating that one? You know. But he just does it. He just great. He gets the open one with the mouth and he, he's just, all day he's just going, ghar.
Starting point is 00:25:32 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He calls it tackle. No kids scared of dinosaurs. Well, we went, once they become aware of shit. No, yeah, little bitches. No, no, no, there's no kids scared of dinosaurs. No, we went by Palm Springs and they have a dinosaur. dinosaur park where they had the fake big ones.
Starting point is 00:25:48 So we got out of the car and he saw it. He was like, you know, and he was a little bit like, whoa, is this how big they really are? I can't hold it in my hand and look like this. We went to go see this movie Hoppers. It's like the new animated movie that's out. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:04 It's about beavers and shit. And like, by the way, those are the best movies out. But isn't there some weird, like underlying message with it? Probably. I wasn't paying attention. But on the way home Calvin's like, Dad, I'm gay. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:21 Yeah, yeah. I should have paid attention. Beavers are gay. So I, we saw this movie. And in the movie, you know, one of the animals goes to eat the other animal. And you're like, dude, this is for, I'm like looking at Calvin and Billy's there too.
Starting point is 00:26:39 I'm like, oh, fuck, you know. A big bear eating the fucking lead character. And then somebody, one of the other. ferrets. It's like, stop. And then the fucking, the bear's like, what? It spits the beaver out and shit. Not like real life. And so they say, so they say,
Starting point is 00:26:55 well, what do you, we were going to eat them? And I was like, how are they going to fucking deal with this? Like in the movie? How do they do it? The dude who was going to get eaten said, hey, that's just the way of life. He's like, sometimes it's your turn to get eaten. And then they just go on to the fucking, and I'm like yeah, I like it because I'm 45,
Starting point is 00:27:13 but to a six-year-old? Now he's looking around at a coffee shop. Is this guy going to be the one that eats me? That's fucking insane. I like this because we have different opposing opinions on how you deal with this. My kids are watching like Pet Cemetery. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:29 Well, you know, that's just being far as you being a dad. But, you know, Daddy, I'm tired. Can we fall asleep to the conjuring? I'm like, sure, I'll put it on. But that's good. Develop him a thick skin. Develop a thick skin. He's going to be watching.
Starting point is 00:27:43 Dude, he's good. By the time he's talking, turns 15, he's going to be like, Dad, you got any snuff films? I can't, I can't get to sleep. I need snuff films. You get any more of those ISIS beheadings, Dad? Oh, fuck. Oh, wow. Too much. It's too current. Yeah, it is.
Starting point is 00:28:04 Well, we did it. Thanks for coming out. No, no, no, no. We didn't, it's not over yet. I'm just teasing. How's, you know, you're out here in Austin? How is it? How's it been going? You know what I mean? Oh, the worst interview. I want to know. How's it going? It's like Chris Farley when he used to do it on Saturday Night Live.
Starting point is 00:28:22 So you're in the Beatles, huh? Yeah. Tell me about, uh... Austin's cool. It's just, you know, you have to not be downtown after, like, a certain time, right? No one who lives in Austin really comes down here. Yeah. Like downtown.
Starting point is 00:28:39 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we're all in the suburbs. Because Callin lives about two and a half hours away, right? Callin lives three hours away. He's in Oklahoma. And he just figured that out. Yeah. He called me, he went, he was doing a show at the mothership,
Starting point is 00:28:54 and then left, FaceTimed me. I just got out. I was like, oh, cool. And I'm at home. It's an hour and a half time. And I'm like, I realize I'm like, are you just driving around?
Starting point is 00:29:06 And he's like, no, I'm going home. And I was like, where do you live? And he's like, oh, yeah, I live too far. Yeah. The whole time it was like, we were fucking, No, we had the ice storm, like the ice snow storm. And he drives the gay Tesla, so he can't leave his house. So I was like, I'll come get you.
Starting point is 00:29:23 So I get him one of my fucking trucks. I go get him. I'm like, oh, buddy, you live in fucking Arkansas. Yeah, it's terrible. And then his neighborhood, it's just five houses. Three of them are filled with lesbians, just like the bunch lesbians. Then there's Brian and then some old guy. That's the sitcom, yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:40 Did he get his house on Zillow? Wait, hold on. Brian's not the old guy? He is the old guy. It's him. It's like Fight Club. It's him. Oh, it's me.
Starting point is 00:29:57 That's it. Brendan interviewing Eric. That's exactly what. That sketch was so... Oh, I like this look for Brendan. Those sketches were so funny. By the way, you guys should dress like that. That's fucking dope.
Starting point is 00:30:09 Join me with this. We'd be like the fucking Fashion Avengers, dude. Well, we'd have to... It'd have to be a little bullshit company. Right. Little tie company. Right, right, right, right, right, right. Yeah, I get it. I get it, I get it, dude.
Starting point is 00:30:22 Wow. Who was this on the right? That's Paul McCartney. Oh. That's Brendan Schaub McCartney. What did you say? Brendan Schaub-Cartney. Oh, I like that. This is a good... Why do you look so...
Starting point is 00:30:37 Why do you look so normal? Yeah. There it. And I don't mean, I don't even mean that as a thing. That you did! Consciously, maybe, but... He had the same guy. clean his room.
Starting point is 00:30:52 You know what I mean? He can fix his TV. He's mid-story about that right now. Yes, that is you. That's why it's so normal. That's you bitching about maintenance. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:04 It's in this fucking guy. Oh, fuck, man. But what happened to the... I'm not even trying to be shitty. What happened to the diet? Man. It's more shitty to set it up like that. Wait, wait.
Starting point is 00:31:21 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, you being shitty. Just own that shit. We're just talking. I'm not trying to be shitty. What's with the inverted penis? Yeah. Yeah, who are you telling?
Starting point is 00:31:37 I just... Spilling out of the chair. Yeah, it's just like, well, this chair is... It is smart. You're spilling out of the cheer, too, but it's all cake. Yeah, right, yeah. But that's what I'm saying, yeah, you guys... Same, same, but different.
Starting point is 00:31:48 I'm a bin. I'm a bin. dude. I'm working on it. I'm getting back to it. You just fell off. I fell off a second. I get it. What did it? I was traveling. What did it? The traveling? Yeah. When you travel, yeah, and you're like, it's like 1 a.m. and shit.
Starting point is 00:32:02 And you're like, I was doing good. Yeah, but doesn't Matt Rife eat good? It's not with him. No, no, no. He works out crazy. So jump in with him. Nice. I can't be doing that shit that he does. Who's gonna fucking play Xbox Live?
Starting point is 00:32:18 Yeah. This PS3 ain't gonna play itself, baby. PS3? I don't know. What is it on? What is it on? Wait. So I'm fat and I'm not modern?
Starting point is 00:32:32 You know what's funny? I have PS5. And I don't know that. Yeah. It's in one of my many bedrooms. Oh my God. There's a PS5 room next to the chain room. I'm not here's from the two.
Starting point is 00:32:48 I eat. So stupid. I love you, man. So stupid. I know, but you know what? When I was on the plane and I was like... You ever been on a plane, Chris? Yeah, I was like, Brendan.
Starting point is 00:33:00 I was like, Brendan's going to say something. I was wondering when it was like, how... About what? Because you were doing so good. But you know what? It was like, the intermittent fasting, I had to find something else. That shit is hard when you're traveling.
Starting point is 00:33:11 You said you have to replace that with eating. Yeah, no. No. What he said? I didn't hear what he said. Man, I was trying to intermittent fasting. I was trying to intermittent fasting. I just like, you know what?
Starting point is 00:33:21 Back to chili dog. I replaced intermittent fasting with intermittent eating. Eating. They're actually the same thing, actually. No, I... What you eat. But I knew something was up because you always text me, like, I'm doing good.
Starting point is 00:33:37 Oh, it was tough. It's so hard. It is hard. But let me tell you something. It's a certain age is harder. Yeah, five months. I've been doing it now eating really clean for six months, and it gets so much easier.
Starting point is 00:33:47 But it takes so long to get there. So long. It does. It takes so long to get there. But I just, first of all, I don't know. Are you moved in yet? Like, a really... Yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:55 Okay. We just got to the point where it's like taking shit out of boxing. Yeah, I know. That could last for... Wait, what? You've been there. I know. I know.
Starting point is 00:34:03 I know, but I had all these boxes in my office and all this stuff. Yeah, yeah. So I finally did it look out of the way. You need a Mary Mexican. My shit was on-boxed in 24 hours. Folded. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All my shit.
Starting point is 00:34:17 Are you Santa? You married you a white girl's. Why do you think I married a Mexican woman? No, you know what it is with white girls? They go, I don't know if I want that there for fucking nine months. And you got to keep moving it. That's how you lose weight. It's hacking and cliche because it's like, yeah, move the couch two centimeters this way.
Starting point is 00:34:36 I used to fucking hate going over my parents' place. Every single fucking time my mom would make me move something too big. Dude, every single time. But you guys have been in your house like two years. She has been in it for 50. But you guys have been your house like two years. It never ends, bro. It's like Tetris. Yeah, but you know,
Starting point is 00:35:00 we've got five bedrooms now. You know what I should do? Oh, man, you'll get there. Dude. But the fucking, what's the Tetra song? I couldn't do the big because I don't know the Tetris song. Is it ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. I was gonna ask you to pull this up.
Starting point is 00:35:16 Nick is showcasing his talents, man. Play it? Is there sound now? Or no? This is junior brother moving around? This is me and Bizarro me. Yeah, for real. And then grandfather me,
Starting point is 00:35:30 doing it coming in and moving something from my mom. Moving this, we're also getting me angry. This is the thing I told Chris to do. No, no, no, no, no. And then you said it was okay. Watch, watch my dad. Watch how bitch my dad is right here. Just watch how bitch my dad is right here.
Starting point is 00:35:48 Just watch how bitch she is. Watch. Watch, watch, watch, watch. What a bitch! What a bitch! Dude! Marching like we wound them up behind, dude. That's cute. No, my brother looks like a cartoon...
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Starting point is 00:37:16 Stream now. Pay never. No, uh, fuck I was going to say something. And now I forget it. It's okay. I don't know. Oh, yeah. I fucking.
Starting point is 00:37:24 My legs are sore. Oh, here we go. Tell us about leg day, Chris. I don't like to talk about it. In your macros and your... No, no, no, no, no, yeah, but it's been going really well. Elephant in the room. I had to say something.
Starting point is 00:37:42 Dude, you don't want to put this online and all the comments be like, what the fuck? He didn't say anything about his thighs? Who? What do you mean who? Chris! Oh, sorry, I'm an idiot.
Starting point is 00:37:54 Obviously, Chris. I would have thought you would mention his shoulders, that's why. Oh, that too, bad. Anyway, where do you live, dude? I'm actually over in Irving, Texas. Oh, really? Yeah, I've never been there. Let's hang out sometime.
Starting point is 00:38:12 I'm in Houston. Oh, well, that's actually not so far, considering you can literally live anywhere on the planet. This is the Internet. It's so stupid. You're so stupid. The next day. Where are you in your head right now?
Starting point is 00:38:25 That's what I want to know. The next day. Sorry, dude. Anyway. I'm actually gonna go to, uh... You know, I got this fun thing. I know we don't really know each other, but... Fucking...
Starting point is 00:38:48 Just fucking... Just gay. Cut. What I... You know what this is? Oh, Irving is so boring. Oh, Gawk, g. So go.
Starting point is 00:39:05 These are your dad jokes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? True, true. Yeah, true. Yeah, it's like, you're the cool. That's why you're the cool dad. Wow, thank you.
Starting point is 00:39:18 Your dad jokes are that. I've never had a nicer compliment than that. That makes me want to cry. Because the other day I had this, I'm going to throw this out. You guys tell me if this was dumb or not, you know. Rachel wants me to buy, we want to buy another water hose, you know. So she says, well, I was going to do this thing, but we only have one hose. I said, yeah, because we're only in one area code.
Starting point is 00:39:39 Yeah. I don't... Did she get it? I didn't get it. She didn't get it. But I was like this. Yeah. Go, because...
Starting point is 00:39:51 That is... That's, okay, so... I wanted to record it, but she, when I try to do that with her, yeah, she's not like Joe. You got to, you got... Rachel's like, she got to get ready. That's... You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:40:02 It's like... Six takes. Yeah. Your joke, that is a good joke. It's good. You nailed it. Uh-huh. And I don't like it.
Starting point is 00:40:09 I know. But it's good. Yeah, because you know, you were like, ah, I got more. Well, I would have fucking sang the whole song. Yeah, you would have been, yeah, yeah, yeah. God, oh, yeah. Somebody's sucking somebody off.
Starting point is 00:40:27 Chris's suckoff is always the same, right? That's how they're like, ugh. Like, this motherfucker's going to take flight with the dick. You know, just, oh, oh, shit, we're up in the sky. Game of bones, dude. I don't like that joke either, but I did it for him. We're so immature for our age. Yeah, I know, but I'm only 45, dude.
Starting point is 00:40:52 I am. And you know what? You know what I realized a few years ago? It's never going away, dude. No, I was at the rodeo last night. My kids, my wife kept rolling her eyes because we were at the fucking Austin rodeo. I kept doing this character.
Starting point is 00:41:06 I kept going, let's get out the ropes and get the ropes on them bull's weeners. My son was laughing. I did it 30 times Weeners is crazy to say what you get one laugh It's so fun though One laugh from your kid though is like well Oh bro we're doing that all day
Starting point is 00:41:25 Oh and I was kind of bored so I'm like fuck it Yeah yeah yeah yeah Should I bring up weeners and make this exciting Um yeah no I I The rodeos live You know how like kids are always like Do it again You know?
Starting point is 00:41:41 Oh yeah Yes And again. I'm going to tire you up. Dude, I will never stop. Yeah, yeah. I will never stop. He's in bed.
Starting point is 00:41:52 I'm fucking, Ah! Remix boring. It was a bit I did on the fucking thing. You're an adolescent with grown man resources. Ha! Put that on my tombstone, an adolescent with grown men.
Starting point is 00:42:13 What? Grown man, resources. Resources. Ah, fucking. You're a 14-year-old with too much money. You know what I mean? It's like the kid from blank check grew up. Mary's just buying bullshit with all the money.
Starting point is 00:42:27 Silver Spoon? Anybody remember Silver Spoon? Yeah, bro. But I mean, like, don't show your age, man. That shit was in black and white. I see a couple of old fucks in here. That was just a play. Well, that's my dad. There it is. Oh, that's before my time, by the. Oh, please put Chris as the Silver Spoon.
Starting point is 00:42:45 What part would Eric have? I'm the black guy. I know! Chin is the girl to the... Nick is up top. Brendan's the kid on the bottom. Fix that, Nick. See how quick.
Starting point is 00:43:01 What if we heard Nick go... Yeah. No, the AI's doing that. Oh. Oh, not again. I'm reading that book. Oh. Dude, something about me is I'll see a movie coming out.
Starting point is 00:43:18 And I go, I got to read that fucking book before. What are you reading? the Ryan Gosling one. Me too. Oh, really? I knew you. We were going to do that. I'm doing it a safe thing. Brett, what page are you on? I'm not reading the Ryan Gosling book? That's legit. Oh, my bad.
Starting point is 00:43:42 It's not the Ryan Gosling. No, yes, it is. No, it's a lot of this in it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's literally how I got the book at the bookstore. You got that Ryan Gosling book? Well, that's the guy that also wrote The Martian. I know, I know. That's the Matt Damon book.
Starting point is 00:43:57 Man, I feel like you should talk about this after the show. No, bro. You gotta talk about what comes up and fucking beat it to death no matter what it is. That's it. That's our show in general. Yeah, yeah. The doctors keep saying, the doctors keep saying I don't have autism and I will prove them wrong. You keep asking? Are you sure? I have to make sure. Outside their house. Dude. She's like, I got autism, man. No, so I'm reading the book and I left it at the hotel. Do you believe in shit? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:34 I believe in shit. You guys got to grow up. I can't stop, dude. I can't stop believing shit. I left my charger in Vegas. Oh, my God. I got my book, my book, I left my book in, who the fuck knows. And I went to the airport to re-get the book.
Starting point is 00:44:49 The first time I got the book, I only got the book because I forgot my other book somewhere else. And I'm like, fuck, dude. You get a Kindle. Nah, I'm no bitch. Fats. I'm no bitch. I'm no bitch. Are you post signing this?
Starting point is 00:45:03 Yeah, I have. Yeah, you got to have the hard copy. I don't fucking... Yes. Yes. So, I... So I... You do it?
Starting point is 00:45:14 No what I realized, dude, is when... I just realized this today, but when you, you know, when you pay for the thing and they say sign here and you, and they don't have a pen, and you got to use your finger and just sign your name, you're a bitch when you do that because if that wasn't there, you're just standing there going that's fucked up.
Starting point is 00:45:38 First of all. That's like when drummers, if you didn't hear all the sounds, they'd be, you know they're doing that. You're so dumb, dude. Well, if there's no drum kit in front of them. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:45:50 If all the sounds were out, but their voice, they would be like, hmm, hum, uh, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Hey, Chris is so autistic. Whatever, dude.
Starting point is 00:45:58 I have a doctor's support. You're so. on the spectrum? I actually don't understand why we're still signing shit. Yeah, no, that's what I thought about. And then I took an hour and thought about all that stuff kind of just chilling there.
Starting point is 00:46:11 Like, things there. I saw my phone. I fucking tapped. Why I also have to get a receipt? Go fuck yourself. I hate that shit. Yeah. You know? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:19 I don't... Hey! Eric looks like something out of a horror movie. Yeah. Jesus. Oh, and chin doesn't? No. Wow.
Starting point is 00:46:35 Yeah, that movie, zoom in, zoom in to chin, to chin. That movie is Demon Fridge. Yeah, that's one of those revenge Korean movies. He comes back, it kills us all. Singing, singing while he's fucking killing. Well, check out, Chris. Honestly, I'm bad. Oh, who would smash?
Starting point is 00:46:53 I'm bad. I'm bad. Hey, you know what? Not, not. Hey, hey, hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.
Starting point is 00:46:59 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hold on, hold on. Because you have a dick. Zoom in on me, not too far from the John Travolta. picture. I'm fucking good. Those are the wrong teeth. Those are the wrong teeth.
Starting point is 00:47:11 Same nose, though, for some reason. Well, you know my nose. What's up? I love big noses, dude. I like big noses. I can't not lie. If my other brother's kid didn't I. Yeah. You know what?
Starting point is 00:47:22 Mom and dad. There it is. Son, we need to tell you something. That would explain so much. If this was really your mom and dad, be like, wow. Yeah. Like a hybrid of these two.
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Starting point is 00:49:13 oh yeah how long we've been I don't know it's 447 it's almost 50 you guys don't know when we're actually doing the podcast and like you guys are here so you can't see the real energy because we would really be like how much more fucking time I have there So right now we've got to be like, oh, I never want to stop. How we're doing, Dickie? But also, you guys help because you're here.
Starting point is 00:49:39 I know. It's like the energy is fucking awesome. But we have music. I'll tell you what's not awesome is zooming into the podcast. Yeah. Well, we don't like it either. That's not our fault, Brendan. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:51 Yeah. Well, move to Austin. I've put it uprooted your life and fucking moved out here. Yeah, move here. Hey, when you and Brian moved to Austin, I cried. No, you did it. I did, by myself. One night.
Starting point is 00:50:04 More me than Brian, though. I'll have to think about that. Wow. Too much of a pause. No, it was both of you guys. I was just like, and they're leaving. By myself, dude, with his shirt on. But you guys, it's great.
Starting point is 00:50:21 No, it's great. Yeah, it's great. I mean, you know. Coaching everything, this guy? Yeah. He's raising two monsters. I'm trying to get my tickets from. now. You know what I mean? I want to be in the box section. I got you. Whatever. They got some
Starting point is 00:50:36 work to do, but I got you. All right. Just spoken like a true coach, bro. What are you doing here? Why aren't you out there working out with them? We're at the baseball fields this morning. Oh, okay. Yeah, they got two games tomorrow. Damn. You woke up to practice? Yep. Not, no, no, no. I bet you this is what happened. He woke up. You worked out. Yep. Then you got the kids up. Correct. And then you went and did your thing. Baseball fields. Yeah. And then what? Inspiring. And now, I'm not. Inspiring. And now I'm here. But there was stuff in between, right? My dad got into town.
Starting point is 00:51:05 Fuck, busy day, bro. You got a Diet Coke. A Diet Coke. Yeah. Ten of them. Bro, you're going to die, huh? Can't drink ten? Can't drink ten a day.
Starting point is 00:51:17 Says who? Science? I don't know. I just have talking points. I like how handsome your dad is. What's going on? Silver fog. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:32 Yeah. Look at you Honestly, you put this shirt on him, forget Oh, for... Hey, hey, forget it! Hey, where do you live? It's him. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:50 Oh, yeah. Where's dad? He's getting sucked off again. No. My dad's never come back. That's my dad, you folks? I, at least... We can't be talking about my dad. You think I didn't...
Starting point is 00:52:01 I go like this. I go, fuck you guys. Bro, I pick it down. I let you do... This is a difference. I let you do the imagining. This motherfucker just does porno.
Starting point is 00:52:14 With family members. Horrible. We got to get fan questions in, though. Okay. All right, anybody who's got a question? Just raise your hand. What's up, Big Dog? Boom. When you pour that shirt, Mary, did you realize that you kind of look like the dude
Starting point is 00:52:29 from Boos Boots? No. There's Here we go There's always You know what's funny about this This guy was like I'm gonna get him with this one
Starting point is 00:52:40 He was like He was quick too Any questions He was like here we go Told his buddy Hey watch this watch this Hey man His friends were like this
Starting point is 00:52:51 You called him That guy You go piss Okay so Anybody got a non-ericest fat questions No no the blue's guys are fat.
Starting point is 00:53:03 No, he's just the shirt. Well, whatever. It felt fat. It was the energy. Fat veiled. What we got? What's up, big Doug? Now that's a good time.
Starting point is 00:53:20 We stopped doing since we've had kids. See, now it works. Teamwork. It works. You know, and Nick's fired, but, you know. Say goodbye to Nick. You're probably getting a job on Blues Clues, though. That's good. Something you stopped doing. Go ahead.
Starting point is 00:53:41 Go up, Chris. Oh, fucking, that stopped doing since I had kids. since I had kids. Yeah. We know. There's one major thing. There's one major thing, guys. And I don't want to address it or talk about it.
Starting point is 00:53:58 And I won't do it, but... And that started like this. As soon as you asked me, all looked at Chris. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's okay. It's amazing you made it more awkward than putting him in a porno, though. No, what have I stopped doing besides?
Starting point is 00:54:19 you know, fucking everyone. You didn't have to go and say it. No, I know. I like to let them do the imagining, but... Yeah, you said that, did you fucking... Yeah, what have I stopped doing? You know what I stopped doing? Besides that.
Starting point is 00:54:40 I can say, I don't do as many local spots anymore. Oh, yeah. Because... Yeah, because I like spending more time, you know, because they keep saying, like, it goes quick. You know, that's the thing they always say. It goes quick, and it's happening in real time right now. I'm like, this motherfucker's two, and he's running around and shit.
Starting point is 00:55:09 And I'm like, I don't want to miss any of this. It doesn't really go quick, though, man. My son's still six. How long has he been six? Three years. I'm just, so that's, I would say that. What about you? I mean, I completely stop stand up.
Starting point is 00:55:25 I don't tore out all anymore. Stop drinking. Stop doing others. Wow. Bad stuff. Wow. He used to rob banks, so he stopped that. Yeah, banks.
Starting point is 00:55:34 Freeze, giving all your money. It's obviously him. Dude, you're Brendan Schell. What else we got? How are you like him to the ZR1, Brandon? I didn't get it. Nope, didn't get it. You're talking about the C6-0-1 or ZR-1?
Starting point is 00:55:51 Robot, robot. Yeah, they don't. 6-6-0-0-6. Sit up. We're talking cars. It's not the real, shop he fucking outsourced it all right the c6 zr1 which is a corvette the the c8 i didn't get it oh god i want to kill my guys are dork i got i got fucked on that dude this outside that's all right
Starting point is 00:56:14 tell him about your ryan goslin boat go what else we got so he wakes up he doesn't know who he is what's up dude what was the hardest part about planning this live show planning this live show getting these guys here yeah well the the live show First of all, first of all, this, I looked at the calendar. I saw Chris was going to be here. This was Eric's idea. Yeah, and I said, well, why don't we just do it live? We could get the gang back together and we try this out and see how we go.
Starting point is 00:56:46 So, here we are. And the rest is history. I got to be the adult, you know what I mean? Yeah, it would be cool. Everybody should have brought 15 more people each, but, you know, thanks for coming out. Actually, this is a pretty good crowd. Yeah, yeah. For a live podcast, yes, but we want to see if we can do more of these.
Starting point is 00:57:02 and so thanks for coming out. You know what I mean? It was a great show, thank you. Oh, thank you. Oh, RFK is here? I knew this podcast leaned right. I knew it. It was what Britain, tell us about your...
Starting point is 00:57:29 It was either RFK or a guy driving in a car on a bumpy road. It's either or... It's really nice. You're fucked up, man. That's a nice thing to say even with that voice. That's a nice thing to say.
Starting point is 00:57:50 Thank you, yeah. I appreciate shit like that. It's a 30 motherfuckers. 30 motherfuckers? You show. You show. I'm coming to you show. He's got a show, too, so be cool, man. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. And then Brendan's kids' baseball game is tomorrow.
Starting point is 00:58:04 It was a stride. Take me out to the... Your piece of shit, man. But like, get a throat lossage. You know what I'm saying? Can we get some tea and honey for this motherfucker? Is that really all you got? The Steve Austin bullshit with a voice, that's all you got.
Starting point is 00:58:50 I've never, I've never, I've never heard a guy who's loud and not loud at the same time. He did it, dude. I only couldn't fuck you with him, man. This scientist was like, at the top of his love. He's done it. He's loud and, ah, no problem. You can hear him. Also, what's he saying?
Starting point is 00:59:19 I appreciate you. The live podcast. He left? Thank you so, thank you so much. Thank you, bro. Appreciate you. Appreciate you, bro. He's leaving literally to go get a new voice.
Starting point is 00:59:34 Y'all are fucked up, man. He's in his car just like, ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch. Well, it's Texas. He was like, I'll be right back. And at the end, he goes, That's for fucking with me. And then everyone goes,
Starting point is 00:59:54 ah, what did he say? A piece of shit, man. Well, whatever it's. That poor guy, he was all, I love the show. You know, fuck you. That's not what we, but he's like the worst robber.
Starting point is 01:00:15 What's he saying? What's he saying? Give me your money. Did you just call me honey? Did he really leave? Ah, poor guy. He got to fuck up. No, no, no.
Starting point is 01:00:25 That was great. He was great. He was great. He's great. A lot of applause for her. Yeah. One thing for sure. One thing, one thing for sure is you know that guy had shorts on.
Starting point is 01:00:40 That's all I'm saying. There is no way in hell that guy was not wearing shorts. What else we got? What's up, Big Doug? Oh, did he? You might have been nervous. No, well, that guy? Are you sure it was him?
Starting point is 01:01:03 I'll never forget his voice. No, there's another guy back here that's got the same voice, he's like, I don't want anybody you're fucking about me. No, he was just lying, man, he was like, this is the greatest day my life. Hopefully they don't pick on me, and then fucking Chris. He shouldn't ask a question though, right? Back here? This guy?
Starting point is 01:01:30 Oh, the cruise. The cruise. It was actually great. You know? We should do a cruise, but no, because it would be... Absolutely not. You want me to do it on a fucking rowboat? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:42 That guy will be like they're in the back. Oh, this was great. We love it. It's so great. There's a big wave coming. You made fun of the shorts, but now they come in handy, you know? We're gonna have to make merch now. with this guy.
Starting point is 01:02:00 Quietest, loudest guy. It was actually really great. It was really, really great. Being on a thing with all those fans, it was awesome. Bobby actually showed up, so it was great. We had a good time. Let's do one more or what? This has been amazing.
Starting point is 01:02:18 I love you guys so much. Oh, thanks, bro. It's wild. Absolutely wild. I make artwork for pink comedians and stuff, but I made some for you too, Chris. But honestly, not much of a question, but just thanks for coming.
Starting point is 01:02:28 Oh, thanks, bro. Hell yeah. Oh, thank you. Well, you know, not only did we bring ourselves here to do this, but guys, we also brought musical guests. Oh, yeah. Can you believe that? We're like the... Part of the Golden Hour family, so let's get into that.
Starting point is 01:02:44 Yeah, we have the Golden Hour family here. Rod Sterling. That's a singer, right? No, Rod Stewart. Stuart. Rod Sterling is... Rod Sterling? Who's Rod Sterling?
Starting point is 01:02:55 Oh, it's the... Twilight Zone. It's okay. They still laugh because they knew what I meant. They're... They're laughing at you. Rod Stewart. is what it is.
Starting point is 01:03:04 Fuck, that makes me mad. That I fucked that up at the end, dude. I was killing it with the fucking this thing, and then the guy. We were killing it, and then I said Rod Sterling. And you know why I did that? Because my fucking dad is a fan of Rod Sterling, and I wouldn't even know who he is if it wasn't.
Starting point is 01:03:20 My dad's fault. It's my dad's fault. Wow, you should have just stopped. I'm going to tell that talk. I should stop there. Totally. Three more questions before we bring out the music. Yep.
Starting point is 01:03:31 What do you got, Big Doug? I'm doing so many other things right now. I'm directing. I'm acting. I'm going to be in this Pedro Pascal movie. Take it easy. Take it easy. Put it out there, baby.
Starting point is 01:03:45 I'm doing shit. You know? Hey, hey, hey, hey. Hey, Pedro Gans for, uh. I didn't. You know, I can't talk about it. No, no. No, he, it's cool.
Starting point is 01:03:57 And we're all proud of Eric. We can't wait until it comes out on Red Box. And you know what? You know what? It's okay, hater. I would kill to come out on Red Box, dude. No, but I do want to do that, but it's like the landscape is different now. Yeah, what's a special really do for you?
Starting point is 01:04:16 Yeah, but YouTube's great place for this, so I have a lot of material. I want to do that, but I just, it's not a priority at the moment, but, you know, I am going to do it. He's busy with Pedro. I am the funniest person for a thousand miles. God damn it, dude. So you have, like, scenes with Pedro? Yeah, all my scenes are wrong. Worst interview, worst interview.
Starting point is 01:04:37 He's doing it now. I know. I'm just curious. What kind of scenes? Acting or? Oh, these kind. Yeah. No, it's great. That dude is a phenomenal acting.
Starting point is 01:04:48 Yeah, he's good. He's good. Like, just unbelievable. Yeah, he's good. Tony Gilroy is the director, writer, so. I don't know who that is. And then Rod Sterling did the soundtrack. Yeah, he's a showrunner for Andor, and he made, he directed and wrote Michael Clayton.
Starting point is 01:05:04 Oh, that's a great movie. I don't know what we're talking about. He's an Oscar nominee. nominated? I don't know. Oh, my God. Do you guys know Michael Clayton? Yeah, it's so good, bro. It's good. Is that the one with...
Starting point is 01:05:15 Who's in it? Yes! It's Michael Clayton. Hold on a second. It's Michael Clayton. Yeah. I love that movie. You know who loves Michael Clayton? That guy. Hold on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, what's... Dad, you've seen Michael Clayton, right?
Starting point is 01:05:29 No, no, no. Look, no, he hasn't. You have? Dad, you know who Michael Clayton is, Dad? No. What, what? What? Get on his level. I'll give you the shirt No What's Michael Clayton
Starting point is 01:05:42 That's the one with George Clooney? Yes, George Clooney It's a really fucking good movie No, that's a really good movie Yeah, he wrote and directed that Yeah, yeah, and he also wrote All the Born movies Born Free
Starting point is 01:05:53 Come on, keep on That's all I got You know what I love about that? I started to look at your face You're like, this is gonna fucking murder No, no, no, no, no, I knew What's my motherfucking name? I knew that
Starting point is 01:06:09 That was gonna fucking be dead in the water from John Pan. And I still enjoyed it, man. You did. That's all on your face. All the born identities. So anyways, that's what I'm doing. But anyways, go on. Anybody else?
Starting point is 01:06:22 Any others? What do you have to be, Doug? Oh, great, right? From where? Makes sense, you got a Cubs hat on? Just for this show? He uprooted his whole life. To...
Starting point is 01:06:38 For the kids' transition? Your kids are transitioning? I love the look at it. You went like this. Very Chris. You know what? It's like he's on the pocket. But that's because it's it.
Starting point is 01:06:51 Talk about his kids. That's not cool. How old are the kids? Yeah. They play sports? What'd you say? Art. Art?
Starting point is 01:07:02 Art. I can't help. No, you know what? I'm- Have Eric asked Pedro, Pascal. I was in a... So rude. You're going to see this, huh?
Starting point is 01:07:15 No, I moved when I was 12. I moved when I was 12 from New Jersey to L.A. And it was tough. But, you know, honestly, what made it really cool was like my parents. So just be there. Well, that's tough for like, at that age. 13. She probably has all their friends.
Starting point is 01:07:32 Yeah. She's probably mad at you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would do eighth grade here because high school was a big deal. So at least she'll get her friends in eighth grade. Yeah. That's tough. That's a good idea.
Starting point is 01:07:44 But good luck. It was gonna be great. No, it made it super easy for me because sports where I live in Rough Hollow is such a big deal. So, like, all the parents, all the kids all play sports. So the kids had, like, instant friends
Starting point is 01:07:56 through sports. But if she, you know... What did she do? Oh! Guess who's back? Back again. R.K.'s back. What did she do?
Starting point is 01:08:12 Don't leave again. He was outside like... He was like, I put him. I'm gonna go back in, maybe they're gonna be fucking, they're gonna be fucking ditch. They're not gonna be fucking ditch. This time gonna fucking go back in and we're gonna be okay. That sucks.
Starting point is 01:08:35 It's tough. It's too good. Oh, it's too good. Any others before we get out of here? No. Any girls have any questions? Are you wondering why you're here? Do you think girls listen to this shit?
Starting point is 01:08:48 No, all the girls are like, why didn't we come to there? 100%. Oh, there's a girl right there. What's that? Proudest dad moment. For me? Anyone, go quick. Outest dad moment.
Starting point is 01:09:08 For me, it was just being a dad, because I didn't think I was going to do it. You know? Neither did wait. Because you're an older dad, right? Every moment I spend with my son is a moment I never had for myself. I love that Luther Vandross song. Every moment. Chin, chin, oh.
Starting point is 01:09:27 You're so dumb. That's a question. There's so many moments that happen, and it's just like, Calvin said this the other day. I got back from Australia. I was gone for like 11 days, you know, that's longer than normal. And he came into my room in the morning. I woke up, I was all jet lag, and he's kind of like laid with me.
Starting point is 01:10:00 And then the first thing he said was, he's like, Dad, I'm sorry you had to be away from us for so long. And I was like, what an awesome kid, dude. To be like, to think about how I feel, not to just be like, where have you been? I miss you. I was shocked. So that is the most recent one for sure. And it's, but it's moments like that every few days, you know, because they grow and they learn and they're figuring it out in real time.
Starting point is 01:10:29 Yeah. So, yeah, there's many. But that was great. Yeah, and there's a million. It's sports. So every weekend. Like Tiger tomorrow. Every touchdown.
Starting point is 01:10:38 Yeah, and lost you a ball out on Sunday, so there's something. I always think it's funny that he moved into town, and now he's the strongest dad on the field. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's got to suck for everybody, you know what I mean? Because you know there was that one dad who was like, this is fucking Mikel. My cow, we bring the orange slices, we bring the pizza.
Starting point is 01:11:01 You know who was, right? That guy. All right, guys. All right, that's it. Thank you. Thank you so much. We're going to wrap it up with some music. Crystal A.
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