413- Sibling Rivalry, Daddy Issues, and Holiday Cheer!
00:00Hey, what's up? It's Jacqueline. Welcome back to the show.We're going to light a candle right now together.We're going to light my Cinnamon Noel.And this is not for like the holiday vibes.You know, you might hear the music right now.You might be thinking, oh, she's setting the mood.It's December. She's setting the mood for Christmas.She's lighting her Cinnamon Noel candle from TJ Maxx.
00:25You might be wondering, did she get that sticker off of it?Of course I didn't. Why do they put the stickers on the TJ Maxx candles like that? You know whatI mean? It's like, just put them on the bottom. So they're not annoying to look at. Anyways,why am I lighting this? Okay. So we're going to just say it. We're just going to say it.Corey called me 10 minutes ago. This is real life. Okay. Welcome to real life. Welcome tolife. And by the way, we're going to be coping with a lot of humor today.A lot of humor. Corey called me 10 minutes ago and he's like, honey.Yep. And I, and I just knew he didn't even have to, like, he texted me, can you talk?
01:13And then I was like, yes. And I kind of knew, and I had a pit in my stomach and then he called me,he's like, honey. And it was just the tone of his voice. And I'm like, fuck you guys.Buster is no longer with us.The family dog, okay?Today, unfortunately, he was, this music right now.They had to put him down, okay?It's really sad.He was 10.
01:40He's Corey's parents, Rottweiler, okay?So yeah, it just happened really fast, I guess.So yeah, there's that.Okay, today's a really tough day.So like, I'm gonna cope with humor.I cried I cried I cried Corey's like and I'm like I'm like trying not to cry I'm like I have torecord he's like he's like stop crying honey you have to he and he copes with humor too like10 times more than I do so we're like laughing crying it's like this mess and he's like honey
02:07go get him go have a great podcast and I'm like and I'm like like I feel like I still look likeI'm crying like go to YouTube or Spotify to watch on video you know that welted thing you get aroundyour eyes, like that welted look that, and that's also something we we've all been through. Let'stalk about crying for two seconds and I'll start the show and I'll like set the scene and I'll talkto talk about why today's a really tough day for me. It's December 3rd. Um, I'm making it a toughday. Usually I'm not this conscious of it, but I'm deciding to give you some intensity and somevulnerability like some just like it's the holidays it's it's a hard it's it's a hard seasonfor a lot of people it um it's there's a lot of family stuff that comes up and grief and
02:57there's a lot of joy obviously but a lot of sadness a lot of people it's a tough time fora lot of people so we're going to touch on that at the top here but um one thing I want to mentionis we've all been through this where you're like you're in the the car you've been crying you needgo in the grocery store for a quick errand or the gap whatever you're going in public it's alwayslike a grocery store and you've just been crying and you're like do I you're asking the personwho's with you that you were crying to like do I look like I'm crying guess how many times I havedone that thousands of times in my life where I've like checked the car mirror thing to see like doesit look like I've been crying because it's a very specific look and I'm always like somehow mortified
03:38by it where I'm like no this is just life and what okay anyways so today's a tough day becauseyou guys I haven't seen my dad it's going on eight years today's his birthdayyeah family dogs getting put down or I don't know if it's happened yet and then there's like thatmy dad's birthday I usually forget it's his birthday and then I like or like by the end ofthe day. I'm like, wait, it was my dad's birthday. It's just so, it's never not weird. Okay. I'm justgoing to put it out there right now. Like it's never not weird. And today I'm really thinkingabout it. I'm thinking about it more than I usually do. And, um, yeah, it's going on eightyears. And, um, I think something we can all relate to is that you grow up, you have two
04:25parents, whatever. Maybe you, maybe your parents split when you were like two, you don't rememberthem being together but in my case my parents were together for 20 years and then you go homefor Christmas for the first time and it's just your mom's in there and you're like what thefuck and you don't really like talk to your dad because that whole shit show and then it's likeit's just never you had this concept in your head for so many years of what your family is and howwe do traditions and holidays and whatnot and then when that just shifts overnight and then it's notthat anymore it's it just sucks it just fucking sucks you know what I mean I'm just gonna admitit like it just I'm blessed in so many other ways but like it's never not weird and it just sucks
05:08you know and shout out to all of you out there with your parents still together and it's likethis warm and fuzzy you're going home for Christmas and it's you know the I guess idealway but it's not ideal if your parents are like you know not well together so anyways um it's mydad's birthday. I haven't seen him in, it's so weird. Eight years is so long. It'll be eightyears in May, but yeah. So let's cope with humor on that note. Let's cope with humor.Uh, no, we want more upbeat than that. We're going to cope with humor. We're going to getthrough this together. You guys today, by the way, just putting it out there.this episode is going to turn into a streamer vibe at some point I'm not going live I'm not
05:57going to live stream but the vibe is going to give like is she a streamer and I'm what I'msaying is that um we're going to do what's called the content cop out today the podcast host contentcop-out segment later on. I'll explain what that means when we get there. Just know thatwe're going to try something new and I think it's going to be a lot of fun and we're going to chooseour own adventure together. And I'm going to, once I get there, I'll like decide and I'll think aboutit up until that point. So anyways, please hit that subscribe button wherever you're listeningright now. I'm on Apple, Spotify, Google, Google podcast, Stitcher, Breaker, Overcast, wherever youlisten to podcasts, hit that subscribe button and review the show five stars while you're there.
06:38follow me on Instagram and TikTok at Jacqueline Rowe for all of my lifestyle I always do thisstupid thing now beauty guru content last night I posted a Candace Owens uh TikTok mentioning howI'm mortified of about the way I've been so shy about like liking her public like just standingher being a Candace Owens fangirl like I've been so shy about it publicly not on this podcast soI've been really, I've been talking about it obviously ever since what happened to CharlieKirk, not to keep talking about it, but like, anyways, I, I, that, that post blew up a littlebit. And, um, so I'm doing the commentary on Tik TOK. I'm doing the beauty guru content. I'mdoing the lifestyle. I'm doing all of it. I'm doing every anything, you know, whatever I'm
07:27feeling that day. So follow me on social media. This is like so geriatric follow my social mediacounts um jacqueline monroe everywhere and and then finally if you want to support the showpatreon.com slash tjms patreon.com slash tjms it's my subscription service it's five dollars a monthgo check it out all right dude let's cope with humor i'm drinking a i'm drinking a latte okayso a couple things happen cory called me he's like hey they're putting the dogdown and I was just like eating an orange. Okay. Like I'm eating an orange and you know,when you're crying and you're, you're grieving and you're eating, there's somethingreally messed up about that. Try not to swear. I'm really trying. Um, and then also I'm like
08:16in the middle of making my latte and I'm like, I don't know if it's good to be this emotionaleating and then also caffeinating, but it's halfway gone. Okay. We are, is Buster's candlestill going I just want to verify because this means a lot to me that um I don't know there'ssomething trying to guys he was such a good dog okay so yeah anyways I'm drinking a latte I decidedthis week that I looked at my espresso machine that my mother gifted to me my mother I'm sogeriatric today this is not okay my mom gifted to me for me and Corey for our wedding it's one ofour wedding gifts from her um one of millions i mean she gave us so much for the wedding honestlyso that was like the the whatever the two thousand dollar whatever braville barista pro
09:07whatever was like the stocking stuffer okay but i decided this week and mom please close your earswhen you hear this, that, um, it officially it's my, I decided that our Breville barista expresson our countertop, it was officially performative. Okay. It was there for looks. We haven't beenusing it regular regularly. And I decided to bust that thing out. I went to sprouts yesterday. I gotsome new coffee beans some regenerative farming organic whatever espresso beans and I made lattesfor Cory and I this morning he took the dogs to work by the way so I wish I could hug him rightnow though he's been he's been spamming my phone with pictures of them and it's really cute um theygot new Christmas bandanas at the office. Someone like a secret Santa gave them, gave them those or
10:05put them on. I don't know. Anyways, they're cute as shit. Um, I made us lattes and that's whatwe're drinking today. And I feel very blessed right now, by the way, I think one of the bestthings about my life honestly, is that I get to grieve, like I get to get some bad news and thenjust grieve it out on my podcast and cope with humor and talk it out and in the comfort of myown home and I get to you know what I mean it's like a nice blessing because like if I had to gooff to my uber driving job right now and I had passengers in the back seat after I got that phonecall and I had to like keep working you know that would be a rough time I think yeah what are theworst places to work after you get death news like you're just a you're a waitress at a five-star
10:54classy restaurant, New York city or something. You have to be on anything where you, and I'mon right now, but I get to choose how I want to be on. And I, and I chose in the beginning tomention it, to light a candle. Like I get to, you know what I mean? I get to be whatever,do whatever, act how, whatever, act however I want. But so, um, yeah, I feel really blessedto be here. Thanks for being here with me, me today. Thanks for choosing my show out of thelist of podcasts that you subscribe to um maybe you chose me over candace that's a that's crazyam i on your spotify rap tag me and i'm kidding spotify wrapped is here okay i'm not gonna boreyou with that i haven't even looked today maybe we'll check mine out and i'll um pull my pants
11:39down publicly for you and i'll show my ass and show how what was it last year it was literallylike chris brown little wayne uh it was just all like male rappers there's nothing um there'snothing else i need to say um it was like i think i posted it and people i post i like tiktok didor some bullshit like some who who does that i did it like i was like oh spotify rap these aremy top artists and it was people in the comments were like oh girl like this isn't a flex like thisis and I wasn't trying to flex I was just trying to be like isn't this ridiculous like me and thisis what I you know it's not like Gracie Abrams or uh Sabrina Carpenter Taylor's it's not evenit's never Taylor's you know okay so yeah Spotify wrapped us here thank you for choosing my podcast
12:28thanks for being here I hope your holidays are going well so far I hope you had a nice ThanksgivingI'll do a little Thanksgiving recap for you sure we'll do that on the life update sectionum and yeah I just hope you're doing well it's a it's a weirdit's a joyful time but it's also it brings up a lot of stuff if you've got familylike just relationship stuff family really you know it's hard um god especially if you live ina dark place oh nothing is worse than living in a cold dark I mean I'm my literally my momon the lawnmower in the rain right now. She's like always listening to my podcast on the lawnmowerup in Washington. But like for me, I am so affected by the weather and the changing seasons
13:21so much so that I was that. Well, yeah, like that is why I moved to California. It was for theweather, for the Southern California, beautiful, gorgeous weather. I mean, right now I'm lookingat sunshine and palm trees and it's December 3rd, you know, and it's all every morning is like aand then and then a rainy day is a treat here I finally like embrace and we had a couplewhat we had the El Nino El Nino whatever years of rain a couple years back where it was non-stopfrom like October to May um flash floods it was bad um but this this year has been really mildknock on wood it stays this way and it's beautiful so but nothing's worse than like going through theholidays it's dark it's depressing I mean if you live anywhere north of me like I'm sorry you know
14:08it's just not maybe you love it maybe I just you know I'm so I I hate the the dark I we're notgonna be negative about winter because I've been telling you guys that this year anytime I letthose thoughts or I feel those thoughts coming in about it's dark early I'm not gonna give itenergy. I'm just going to go run a bath, get a book out, light a candle, eat some chili, you know,going to romanticize the darkness. That was like one of my tips a couple episodes back. I'm like,you have to like make the most of it. It's not forever. It's not going to be dark forever, butyes, I am heavily affected by it. Like, no, I'm not even like, I'm so dramatic about it too. Like,and then I catch myself or this year I've, I've been actively cutting that thought off where I'm
14:59like, Nope, just turn all the lights on in the house, run that energy bill up, crank it up.Okay. You're not, you're not running the AC like you were in the summer. That electricity billis going to be the new thing. What, you know, we're not running heat here. So I'm like,I know it might be wasteful, whatever. We're not, does anyone give aabout climate change anymore like is that even like that was a thing and nowthe vibe I'm getting is that it's not really a thinglike how did that happen like what what do we care what do people what are people screamingabout now like what's the thing I'm trying to think about like what is the cause everyone's
15:49pissed off like what is the is it billionaires like just billionaires I think that's what peopleare mad about they've always kind of been mad about that but now I think that's the trend justlike being mad at billionaires climate change I don't hear about it as much as yeah what is thething anyways um how did we get here um Spotify rap did I mention that yeah we're gonna do soit's the end of the year. It's December. It's the end of 2025. We're not going to do it on thisepisode, but in the next week or two, I'm going to compile my 2025 re like the ultimate recap of2025. Like all the things I'm going to make multiple lists for 2025 trends, things aboutmy life that were trending like highs, lows. Um, I might do a gift guide. I'll do the gift guide
16:43right now. Actually, this is going to be very short and sweet. And this is for men and womenof all ages. Okay. Buy your girl. If you're like, what do I buy my wife? What do I buy my girlfriend?What do I buy my sister? What do I buy my mom for Christmas?And you're shaking in your boots about it. Cause it's there's pressures on, okay. It's December 3rd.get her a towel warmer get her a towel warmer don't get her the Dyson air wrap don't get hera Sephora gift card don't get her slippers like Uggs like no get her a towel warmerI guarantee she probably doesn't have one she needs one okay that that towel warmer in mybathroom that my mother-in-law um shout out I was we were we were having dinner like somehow
17:36it came up um and I'm not supposed to be talking about this because I think her friend gifted itto her and then she gave it to me but whatever I don't think she listens um she's like don't tellanyone that you have this like I'm just talking about it like I made a TikTok about my cozy fallbathroom items and it's like the first product I show um by the way speaking of products andshowing products. I haven't seen this. I don't think I've ever seen this, but it's still BlackFriday. It's December 3rd. It's still Black Friday. Thanksgiving was last week. Cyber Mondaywas a few days ago. It's still, I'm still seeing, it's still Black Friday. I think it's going to beBlack Friday until 2026. I think they're cutting off Black Friday on December 31st. I think that's
18:27when all the sales end. Black Friday to December 24th, get 70%. It's crazy. Anyways, so that'sstill going on. It seems like my towel warmer, get your girl a towel warmer, get your man a towelwarmer, get it for your home. I cannot believe it took me this long. And I grew up in Washingtonwhere it was cold. I mean, because there's nothing better. There's nothing better thanyou're in the shower, you're growing up in your house and you're like, everyone's like takingturns showering and you're in the shower and you're frantic because your shower's about to endand you realize there's you don't have a towel you're like fuck you know there is no there isno better feeling than being in that situation and screaming at your brother and you're like
19:14Robert like you're just full volume screaming across the house for a towelcan someone get me a towel and they waltz their ass over to the laundry roombecause those are the only clean towelsor like the ones that, yeah, the only clean towelsbecause you're a family of fiveare the ones in that dryerand that dryer just finished dryingor it's in the middle of it
19:37and they waltz their ass over to the laundry roomand they come back and bring you a fresh warm towelfrom the dryer.Okay, by the way, you can have that experienceevery single time you showerif you have a towel warmer.Can't recommend it enough.It's changed my life.
19:50I'm putting my bathrobe in it.I'm just like putting anything,like I'll put socks in it oh my gosh when I get out of the shower it's the best coziest feelingever and I want that for you too okay so get a towel warmer they're they're not that steep they'relike probably they start like 60 70 bucks they probably range from like 60 to maybe the bougieones are 300 it's kind of a lot for that for that I don't think you need to spend that much on itbut yeah get a towel warmer so I'm probably gonna do um yeah I'm gonna do the end of the yearrecap next I'll just do it next week um or before Christmas all before the end of the year I'll do
20:32it um yeah let me see my Spotify should I just give you a teaser here because I'm actually curiousit's 10 44 a.m on a on a Wednesday and it's Spotify wrapped and I haven't seen it yet soor it's it's already this late in the day and it's crazy I haven't you guys it's likeyou know what I mean likeit's just words you know okay it's likeit's wild I didn't wake up and immediately check my spotby the way this is something oh my goshI don't care who judged like I don't care about being judged for mine but like I'm
21:23judging other people so intensely by their Spotify round. Low key. Okay. I listened to83,493 minutes. I'm not going to do this whole thing. Wait, let me just see if there's liketop artists, my top genres. Okay. This is interesting. Pop rap, space music,smooth jazz pop and R&B interestingmy listening age is 33 okay it's like older than I am I don't I think that's because whatdoes it say you're since you were into music from the late 2000s okay cool what are mytop songslike see it's like here I'm showing my ass okay I'm showing my ass fully
22:26hi pulling my pants down on camera um go to youtubers I'm just you know like I'm fullylike we're stripping we're stripping down and we're being the most vulnerable I um version ofourselves right now. For you, the listener. Top song. Steady Mobbin. Gucci Mane. Young Money.Who else is on this? I can't see the full list here. Steady Mobbin. What are the lyrics? I mean,like, Steady Mobbin. I know, you guys, and the thing is, this is how,this is who I am okay this is who I am this was totally like this was like a I'm in I'm deep inthe workout and I'm fucking feeling myself and this is what I'm playing and I'm gonna that'sif you're like at the gym you're like I wonder what she's listening to that's the vibe okay
23:20there are one how many n words in the first sonnet whatever it's called the beginning of the rapsit's like one two three four yeah four straight off the batand we don't want no problems okay you're a good okay you're a goon what's a goon to a goblinwe don't want up you guys know that you guys know that song just go look it up uh yeah sothere's my there's a little teaser for you there that's a little teaser from my spotify wrapped 2025throwing it back to 2009 steady mobbing by young money featured artist gucci mainum all right so life updatesall right life update section
24:25you know who has a really sweet life update right now that she just dropped and i'm like okay niceyou know when you see a creator you respect and love and you're just like you want the best forthem at all times you want them to succeed in life and love and business and it's like thereshe is Sophia Franklin posting her new her new pad somewhere in Italy or something I think it'sin Lake Como ish she's engaged she's getting married she's I guess living part-time in Italyin a beautiful very charming home so much character I don't know if who if that's herman's home or if she just bought that I don't know it's gorgeous inside it's has so muchcharm and character and it's rare to see like when I saw her real
25:21Sophia Franklin Sophia with an F podcast if you're not aware of who she is she's a podcaster likea girly podcaster like myself former caller to old news whatever she used to host another podcastit's extremely popular top charting right now anyways um yeah but this house that she postedwhen i saw the reel i was like it's so rare to see a space with that much charm and character andlike cool architecture like the fireplace and the the built-in bookshelves and you don't see thaton this side of the atlantic you know what i mean like you're just it's very rare and soshout out happy for her um but let's go on let's move on to my life updatesokay
26:15other than the family dog you knowi'm gonna cry about it after this like i'm really sad about it and he had a he had a sisterhe has a sister that he let you know daisy the the golden doodle that heyou know he was her bigger brother you know and she's gonna look around tonight and she's gonnawonder where is he you know and it's that's just her we're not gonna cry about her right now okayso other than that my 9-11 hyper fixation has continued it has continued and it has taken adark turn. I mentioned last week that I am a newly hyper-fixated woman. I cannot stop researching9-11. I told you last week, I went to a concert. I followed Empire of the Sun on Instagram because
27:20I saw them in concert and I was like, Oh, interesting. They only follow one person.And it was this nine 11 account. Um, it's like twin towers, nine 11 on Instagram. And I was like,that's so random. They follow one account. And then I could not stop scrolling on it and watchingall these videos and reading all these stories. And like, anyways, I I'm down the rabbit hole.Okay. I'm still reading the nine 11 Reddit, you know, like on the DL, like at dinners, you know,I'm just like one eye on the steak, one eye on the nine 11 Reddit.You know what I mean? Like it's, I'm in, I'm in too deep.We're not really going to dive into anything real.
27:59Like I'm not going to tell we're not, that's not going to be, um,I'm just, my life update is that I'm still hyper fixated on it. Okay.I still, I'm still looking at you guys.I saw a new jumper video.and here's the thing I mentioned last week that I'm like inside jobyou know like I watched the whole Tucker documentary four or five part series on ityou know and I mentioned the controlled demolition of it all and um I don'tI don't want to be insensitive insensitive to the the victims and their families like I feel like I
28:46was kind of being a little too insensitive last week about that just so nonchalantly discussingjust just I was so conspiracy brained the way I was discussing it and talking about it but umit's so it's something it's like you guys the thing is is like when I here I am talking about9-11 and by the way I think this hyper fixation is going to end soon and I'm feeling my orca whaleobsession coming back. I feel like that's going to be an early 2026, uh, thing for me. So rightnow it's nine 11. I think my Ork whale. Yeah. Like I, I don't know why I get like this stuff.I just get like down the rabbit hole. I guess it's fun. It's fun to go down the rabbit holeabout stuff, but like, yeah, this one needs to end because I'm literally having the craziest dreams.
29:38like I take my L-theanine with my magnesium glycinate with all of my other supplementsbefore bed and I'm we've been doom scrolling a little too much before bed I mentioned thatone of my fall things that I'm doing can we just say it's winter December is winter it's winterokay I know winter doesn't start until Louie's birthday my bulldog it's the first day of winteris December 21st he'll be four oh my god is he three or four four he'll be four um but yeah tome December is winter so we're just gonna go with that one of my winter things is plugging my phonein and charging it in the bathroom and not bringing it bringing it by my bedside at all not even it'snot in the space it's not in my my bed my bed space my sleeping space it's in the bathroom so
30:25I physically have to get up if I want to doom scroll and I've been slipping okay I've beenslipped in the last week or so and I've been scrolling on these 9-11 videos and reading stuffand watching stuff right before bed I've been having really weird dreams and I always say likethe L-theanine makes my dreams it like heightens and makes my dreams more strange um but what Iwas saying is that my experience of 9-11 was my mom running in at like what time was it well weor West coast. It's not like it was broadcast. It's not like it was like, there was like a,you know how they do that. Okay. It was live. Okay. I forget what time I felt like eight 30.What time did the planes hit? I should know that off the top of my head. Just being a,
31:18I'm a fake fan. I don't want to guys. We're not going to deep dive right now.whatever time it was, it was early in the morning and we didn't have cable. Cause my parents wouldgo in and out of having cable or like they plug it. Cause you know, we're watching too much TV.And so they pulled, they pulled the plug on the cable. It's probably cause you know,they're trying to save money or something also. But I remember we didn't have cable at the time,so we couldn't watch it on TV. But I just remember my mom coming home from the gym,like screaming, like, Oh my God, they hit the towers, like freaking out, you know? And I guessshe was watching at the gym and after that we got cable because my mom was like never again
31:55we are not going to miss another terrorist attack as a family we are we are going to be we're goingto be parked in front of in front of our tv watching the next one live um come hell or highwater okay and yeah that was my experience of it and so I didn't really you know I'm a kid likeyou hear about stuff after the fact you grow up you kind of like hear more stuff trickle in andlike but I'm not researching I'm not down the rabbit hole so it's been a new it's been a newthing for me to learn about and it's the story I think I just love the stories I think that's whatit is for me like the survivor stories are so crazy and just knowing that like someone was 40feet down in the steel alive and they made it out just stuff like that I'm like I never heard about
32:43that before. Um, but anyways, um, my dreams have been so weird the other night. I keep dreamingthat my, my sister has an adult child. It's so random. My dreams are so like, it's not like shehas a baby. My sister has a son and I keep dreaming about it. And it's so strange becauseshe doesn't have kids, but I'm like, why do I keep having this repeated dream that my sisterhas a 20 year old son. So there's that. And then I'm also just, I'm having so many demolitiondreams where buildings are just falling. And the other night it was the Eiffel tower justgetting crushed. And that's because I was watching those videos right before bed. And so,yeah, that's the latest. Okay. So we're still thinking about that.
33:32Oh my God, I wrote here my actual new hyper fixation.okay the orca wheel one's coming you guys my life updates okay we're gonna do like okayum thanksgiving i'm gonna do a little memory laneuh section of the life updates for you um just recent stuff i've been doing workout stuff likehouse stuff okay um this new reframe i'm gonna share with you a new uhnew way to reframe something I've been spiraling about with you that I never thought about beforeand I was a couple cocktails deep after golf the other day and I wrote this in my notes appas I was eating a whatever whatever we went to the place twice and I had the same did I have
34:21the smash burger and then I had the the southwest wrap back like I forget which what I was eatingbut I was eating and I was a couple couple brewskis I'm such a dude and then I was likewriting this down. So, um, you know, my actual hyper fixation right now is Jonas brother concertcollabs. Like during their concert, they bring out the collab with an artist and the other,the, I mean, I've been, I've watched this 25 times. It is so they are angels. And by the way,the Jonas brothers were the first, that was the first concert I went to when I was in middleschool. It's how I made my best friend. I officially it's, it's how me and my best friendbecame best friends. We were enemies before that. I'll, I'll do, I'll do a story time on that. Let
35:14me just like highlight this way. Okay. I met the Jonas brothers in middle school and it was thefirst concert. And so anyways, this video of them bringing out Martin, what's his name? MartinJohnson, Martin Johnson from Boys Like Girls. The collab they did, the duet, whatever, ofAerosmith, I Don't Want to Miss a Thing, is unbelievably good. I have watched, again,25 times. It is so, and Martin Johnson from Boys Like Girls. I forgot about Boys Like Girls.I need to start, you know, I've been, you know, you might be thinking, oh, wait a minute. No, you, you're good on the music, Jacqueline. You've been listening, listening to, you've been listening to Young Money and Gucci Mane. Like, you're fine. Or whatever. I feel like my, I'm like burnt out of my music right now. I need to reignite something in my Spotify. I don't know.what I'm saying is I need to start listening to boy boy bands again and I forgot about boys likegirls anyways Martin Johnson it's like I could stay awake I sing on every episode now we're just
36:36singing just to hear you know that's Joe singing amazing then Nick does a littlewatch you smile and you sleep it's so beautiful and then when Martin sings it is like first ofhis outfit, his hair. He's so rockstar, like so era, like so back in the day, rockstar, like the,the bandana with the hair and just like his facial expressions as he's singing. I'm like,dude, I am, that's another hyper fix.There's another way to talk about things you're passionate aboutJacqueline without saying hyper fixation. You know what I mean? Like it's, it's getting redundantand it's getting like dude just tell everyone you just we're not going to mention the diagnosis okay
37:30we're not um I'm obsessed with listening or watching people sing well you know and I lovemusic I love yeah people belting like I love watching vocal lesson video I just love watchingpeople sing well like if that makes sense like it it really gets me going like Corey and I willliterally just lay on the couch at night and I'm like it's a YouTube we're watching people singlive tonight okay we're it's a YouTube concert we're watchingacapella like we're watching singers tonight on YouTube whenever I get the remote we're eitherdoing we're it's like a couple things it's like okay just murder doc we're doing a murder docspeaking of that we need to watch the murder hulu show because i've heard great things
38:26it's a murder documentary if i have the remote it's architectural digest on youtube like theopen doors. It's Vogue, you know, hi Vogue. This is what's in my bag. Or like, we're going to gothrough or like, um, hi Vogue. Welcome to my closet. You know, it's like girly Vogue interviewstuff or it's just Tate McRae music videos, to be honest. Corey, we love those. I love them more.And I mean, I'm just like, dude, fuck yeah.Like her music video for,oh, I'm sorry, sorry.Whatever that song is.
39:09Oh, the way they do the body makeupthat's like grunge and dirty,but like sexy dirty with the glowand the hair's kind of wet.And the makeup is super, it's like mushroom makeup.It's like mushroom brown toned.and there's like just the the the bra situation like everything is soit's so good okay it's so what's the wrong word for it it's just pure fucking sex you know and
39:46that shit sells okay and I am I am buying it okay whatever she's selling I'm buying right nowTate McRae's now in her angel wings era okay she has a new album coming out I think or music orshe ended her tour anyways so those are the things or we're just watching people sing andum a lot of Justin Bieber singing playing the piano on live stream singing just random videosof that so that's another thing I'm really into right now this is a long-winded segment to tellyou guys that I watched I love watching the Jonas Brothers collab with other artists on stageum they brought up mario you're the type of woman you know they did a little r&b cover with himof his song okay so yeah i need to start listening to boy boy bands again um
40:40so oh Benson Boone covering Adele I'm still not over it I'm still not over it two things I'm notover right now are okay Candace Owens walking in the Victoria's Secret fashion show in that blacklingerie set with the the little like thing she did at the end of the runwaynot over that I watched that that's how I wake up every I'm like project Candace did I sayCandace Owens. Wait a minute. Did I say Candace Owens? That's how, that's how Candace podcastbrain I am right now. Brained I am right now. Like Candace, Swan, Swanapool, Candace, Victoriasecret angel, Candace, project her on my ceiling, walking in that black lingerie set at the 2025Victoria's Secret fashion show. Project that on my ceiling every morning when I wake up. That's
41:42what I want to see when I wake up. She would make a great angel of the Lord.If there's a local, she wouldn't do local theater, but if there's a local theater arts programI'm looking for a, looking for an angel of the Lord to play. Um, yeah, glad if they're lookingfor it and she wouldn't be a Gladys, they just need an angel of the Lord too. They're lookingto cast an angel of the Lord. They need to hit up Candace. Okay. She's literally an angel anyway.So yeah, I'm still not over that. And then Benson boom covering Adele, uh, at his concert,I forget what song it was but it was insane okay so I already mentioned my dad's birthdaysay it's never not weird um we can move on um let's just like change the vibe right now
42:41I think something that messes me up though as of late is the thought that and you're probably likewhat's the big deal like just call him it's his birthday like yes like it's really fuckingcomplicated. It's so, and it doesn't need to be right. Like it doesn't. Um, but it's one of thosesituations where, and, and of course, Corey and I talk about this all the time. Like it's, he'sbaffled by it too. Like, he's just like, it's one of those things becoming a stranger, the parentas an adult who's settling down, who's married, wants to start a family, you know, the wholething the okay the thing about it is that it gets to a point where you realize like okayif I'm gonna have a relationship it's gonna like if I if I want if I'm gonna
43:37ever have one in a sort of normal way because it'll never be normalit's gonna come I I'm gonna be a hundred percent responsible for making that happen I have to beresponsible for making that happen. Cause it's not going to come from the other person.I have to initiate every single thing in the relationship. And it's like a decision you haveto make. Do I, am I the type of person or am I going to like make a stand in my life and saylike, yep, it's going to be hard, but I'm going to do it. And I'm going to do it. And it's sucha weird thing to calculate because you're like, it's just fucked up because you're the kid,you know? And you're like, anyways, I don't think I've really talked about it. And maybe I think I
44:24have an episode called like literally explaining my daddy issues, but yeah, it's just weird. It'sthe holidays. It's weird. It's his birthday. I don't know. What do you, I think I'm justdealing with, and I don't know if I don't feel like I'm avoidant. Oh my God. We're not doingthis right now. We're not going to do it. It's like, dude, biggest lesson in life I've learnedis that parents, like you set the tone, right. And it's like on your ass to be a parent to yourkid. You know what I mean? They shouldn't, it shouldn't be the other way around. And I feellike my life has been the other way around. You know what I mean? And it's such a, it's so, it'sjust a bummer. You know, it's just like a bummer. It's like, fuck, you know? And then you kind of
45:17like again you calculate your head like what am I getting out of this is this even worth itit's so much emotional turmoil it's so much pain it's like every contact point is it justreopening a wound it always you always feel like shit after you never feel better you always feellike shit after you don't really get anywhere and so it's like I hate that I'm I'm not the type ofperson who throws in the towel at things. Like I don't. But this one is complicated and I'm justgoing to leave it at that. I have really good days about it and I have really bad days and I'm justkind of in a somber, yeah. This is the thing. If something ever happens with you and your kid,or no, you and your wife or husband, I'm just going to be vague. Okay. This is my take.
46:12It's like if you get a divorce or separate, whatever, and you have kids with your partner and you don't immediately do whatever you have in your power to separate out in your head.Okay, I was married to a woman, we had children together, or I was married to a man and we had children, whatever the situation is.if you don't, from the jump, someone is sawing.There's like major construction. I don't know if you can hear that. You probably can't.I'm like, do I have a construction worker in my house right now? Corey, are we having likea contractor do something today that I wasn't aware of? Anyways, in all seriousness,it's on your ass as a parent to do what you can do whatever you can right off the bat to continueyour relationship with your kid and make that as normal as possible because it's not going to be
47:09normal for them they have two parents that are no longer together at Christmas and like no longertogether um every time you come home from college or whatever and so it's like your responsibilityto it's so like obvious to me when I say it to do whatever you can to be like hey kid likeI know this happened it's not your fault but hey like let's I'm sorry you know what I'm justliterally I'm just literally like I'm sorry you know start with that let's move on you guysairing out dirty laundry is not the vibe that's not what we do here um what what I will do iswe'll move on and we'll go down memory lane because this time back in the day it's so weirdlike I live in a house I'm married we're decorating for Christmas we have a couple dogs I have a
47:58podcast it's so wild if I think too deep about it and it's like back in the day I was just a kid inhigh school it's December 3rd okay like obviously we'd get a cake you know there'd be like a birthdaything for my dad whatever and then not whatever but you know it's but back in the day this timeof year it was like Christmas tree farm working at the Christmas tree farm with my grandparentsgoing to basketball practice after school like going to I like cross-fitted after that sometimesit was like it was just like basketball practice like going to practiceand then like coming home and chilling I guess and then just like somewhere somewhere in allof that, I would finish homework. I don't really, okay. You know, it's so wild. Like I've been like
48:47really thinking about this and I'm not the type, I'm not a person who blacked out my childhoodthat happens to some people, but in my situation, but like, I didn't block anything out. I just,I'm like, what did we do on the weekends? I'm like, wait, I feel like I can't remember it.Like I lived in a house. We decorated for Christmas. We worked at the Christmas treefarm. I would go to basketball practice. I'd have basketball games. I'm like, what did I do on theweekends? Like I probably was going to the Goodwill like I am now. Like I probably, it's just such aweird thing. I don't remember specifics. Like what did I, do we just like drive around and go to myaunt's house or something and just hang? And like, I don't remember. I mean, there was high school
49:31stuff I was involved in. It's weird. It's so like past. Something that's been messing me up aboutlike back to my dad for two seconds and I'll move on because, oh my God, we're, we need to move on.The thought that's crazy is like, you know, I'm 31 and it's been, it'll be eight years inMay. And at a certain point, it's going to be more time or even just with living in California,more time here than where I grew up in Washington. That's kind of weird. So this will be technicallymore familiar to my brain and I've been here more than I than my own hometown and where I grew upwhich is so weird and then not knowing my dad and knowing my dad is gonna eventually probably it'sgonna be flipped like I've known my dad for 20 years like in my back pocket 20 years I'm 31 it's
50:25been 11 that it's been that's been weird haven't seen him in almost eight like eventually it'sgonna be like half and half and then it's gonna be more time that I haven't really been close it'sso fucking weird is our buster candle still going I need I need to be grateful that I even have adad right now and grateful for you know you guys probably think I'm an asshole like what's the bigdeal. Just, you know, I don't like that. It's kind of hardened, hardened me. They're nothardened me, but I don't like that. It's, it's not, I just feel like maybe it's mademe negative. I feel like it's made me negative. I'm just kind of like, eh, you know, justlike a I don't know the thing is is I'm such a happy positive like you guys it's so fucking weird
51:26it's like I'm so happy and positive and like like but I have this essence about me that I catch andI think you can definitely hear it when you listen to my podcast because this is a total release it'sa total just dumpster fire of like let's release all the negative thoughts and tell the people onthe other side all this toxic toxic shit in my brain but like I think I have an essence of methat's a little bit like she's she has a negative vibe you know and I think it's like the yeahokay we don't need to again shut up okay we went to Thanksgivingwe went to we had Thanksgiving dinner at our friend's house it was great I brought sourdoughI yeah we just drank a lot of wine and ate a lot of turkey and watched football and it was just a
52:21really nice time um our friend's dad wore funny like pilgrim traditional like what you what youlike the cartoonish version of a pilgrim like an outfit um which is unexpected I've never seen thatat a Thanksgiving before and he was like carving the turkey and it was so great um desserts wereamazing um yeah I'm pecan over I'm pecan over pumpkin if you're wondering all right pecan pieover pumpkin pie if you're wondering except if it's a Costco pumpkin pie if you know you knowyou know I have done I literally brought a pumpkin pie on camera one time I like had it in an oldepisode I was like this is the pumpkin pie if you're thinking about making one if you're thinkingabout going to Safeway or Publix, wherever you shop for groceries and picking one up there.
53:12The Trader Joe's. No, actually. Okay. Oh my gosh. The sweet potato pie from who makes that? It's atWalmart. It's only, I think it's only at Walmart. Patti LaBelle. Wait a minute. Patti LaBelle sweetpotato pie a popular dessert sold at Walmart known for its creamy filling and flaky crustokay I'll do that and that's a sweet potato pie I think it has um there's got to be some pumpkinin it it feels like it's a pumpkin sweet potato pie or the one at Costco those are the only twocorrect answers if you're looking to bring a pumpkin pie to your next gathering this holidayseason okay you guys life update I finished my Christmas shopping uh wild that I did thatlike usually it's I'm within I'm down to the wire usually within the two weeks prior to Christmas
54:18um sometimes it's like the two the weekend before you know I'm hitting the malls becauseor I'm getting that overnight delivery going, okay?This year, we did it.We accomplished it.We're done.We don't have to worry and stress.I'm probably going to keep trickling things in here and there.I'll still continue to find little tchotchkes.
54:44It's just, I love it.I love picking out gifts for people.It's my favorite thing ever.I, I just, I get so excited for them about it. Like I'm so, I just love, I don't know what itis. One time. Okay. Back in the day when I worked retail and I was making for the first time in mylife, like money, money, like for, you know, you're in high school or you're like right outof high school or yeah. What was it? My first, I think it was during my community college livinglike community college, living at home, working retail days. Yeah. My first couple of years of
55:21college, but I was like making a lot of money for me at the time. And I remember that year I got togo, I went all out, like on all of my family members. I think I got my mom like a full,I went to the Macy's, what do you call the cosmetic section? No, there's like a beautycounters or whatever and I got her like a full Clarins um like skincare thing like a multi-stepskincare kit um I forget what I got my siblings but I just went all out and that was the bestfeeling ever to just spend money just to spend on people it's I I love buying shit for myself okaylike come on like who doesn't but there's something about buying things for other peopleand gifting things to them that lights me up especially something as simple as like
56:21I make sourdough a lot for people now or my cookies like people ask for that and I get tomake it and just knowing they're eating it in their house I'm like it's such a like it lightsme up so yeah I think if I had all the money in the world I'd be giving it away like straight upjust for, because it's fun. It's fun to give people like to gift people things and to like,think about, I, like I said, I get excited for them. I can't wait like for Corey to open hisgifts. Like that's the best part. It's for me. It's for them, but it's for me. You know what Imean? There's, it's so rewarding. You don't know how to live unless you know how to give. That's,that's the tea. Okay. Not to quote Scooter Braun's old bio from back in the day when I think I
57:04followed him because I I was like oh he's that guy who like he's like Justin Bieber's man somehow Ilike followed him on Instagram and anytime I'd see his profile I was like I'd read that and I waslike that's a great that's a great bio like you don't know how to live unless you know how to giveit's a stupid like Pinterest quote but it's a good one and I and I've mentioned this before likeit was a deep thought honestly like I came like up a lot of times on my show I likehave epiphanies and something that came up for me was oh my gosh my life is so good andit's always like a pinch me thing every day it's like like what's going on here like I'malways like looking around the corner like what's gonna you know like I'm always like
57:54I'm always or suspicious when my life is so good because I'm not like used to that necessarilyum I've had a highs and lows you know what I mean but I think right now everything about my life isvery like even keel and great and when I was thinking about growing up and in that sectionI talked about or that what was I doing back in the day this time of year the the reason why Iwas thinking that is like now I'm doing so much all the time where I'm like I think life was justvery mundane and routine with like going to school playing sports you know that was that was lifegirl let's that's childhood you know that's being a high schooler even going to college like thingswere no that's when things started to pop off honestly because like now you have your freedom
58:45you're out out of the house and you're like you know partying and you're off at a big school andthat's when it started to pop off um but now I'm doing so much all the time where I'm likewhat did I even do when I grew up like I can't remember it like I don't know so umwhat was I saying oh my deep thought was like oh life's so good what but like this is when youokay you're good time to give to other people time to be of service to other people if you'veif you have it all like there's no point to keep it and just sit in that it feels icky for me Ithink that's what it is it's like the the epiphany I had was like wait a minute I need to like dosomething with this and give it back and help other people like that's that's when your cup
59:38purposeful like pouring to other people and it's crazy how I had to like sit on my podcast to comeup with that because it's so duh but not really I don't think so because I think when you getcomfortable when you're too comfortable it's not good you need friction and if that friction foryou because it's not normal for you to go help other people is to get out of your house and govolunteer get out of your house and yeah like help people at your food bank that need food right nowor the homeless shelters like the dog shelters like whatever then that's oh that's okay to admitthat to yourself if that's like not a normal because typically on the weekends you're attj maxx or home goods buying fucking candles you know like that's so dumb it's so dumb
01:00:27we should be helping each other and doing more of that and um but yeah that's the epiphany i hadum, got my 2026 planner and I cannot stop thinking about it. I can't, I found the plannerlife update. Like this is a huge life update. It's not really, but, but you guys,I think planners are very, planners are personal. And what are my needs when it comes toa planner? Number one, I need a planner. Like I need a physical planner. I'm nota Google calendar. Everything is digital. My entire life is in a phone calendar thing. I'mnot doing a notes app, like list thing. No, no, I'm writing it down with a pen on paper. That ishow my brain works. And so number one, I need a physical planner. Number two, it can't be too
01:01:34small and it can't be too big. I'm not doing an eight and a half by 11, like a full, likespiral notebook type planner. And I don't want to do something that's a pocket size. Okay.I also don't like a hard cover. Okay. I need something I can beat up. I need a spiral bound.ideally a spiral bound, but I need to be able to beat it up. It cannot have a hard cover. Thesebullet journals, these minimal, like you go into like a, you go into a really nice bookstore andthere's a planner section and a notebook section and it's all very minimal and beautiful. Andthey're always hard cover with thick paper. That's like, I don't know how to explain it.it's just like the paper's too thick. It's a hard cover. It feels like a book, like it doesn't feel
01:02:25like a planner, like that I can beat up. I want to be able to beat up my planner. I want my pagesto be kind of thin. I like when I set my coffee or my beverage, like my sparkling water that'sstill, that's got some condensation on it on my planner. I love seeing the page get crinkly fromthe moisture better yet if the pen kind of bleeds a little bit where the water mark was or where thecup was and it gets you know what I mean like the the ink starts kind of getting messed up love thatthat's what I'm looking for in a planner and so with that being said I found my planner the plannerit's a three-tier system okay it's start it's a funnel system so it's called the planner padup top you have your brain dump okay so across basically also another thing oh my gosh I need
01:03:23to see all seven days in the lay flat when it lays flat so I need I cannot do one dayone page a day I can't do a half a week I can't do four like Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursdayit if it ends up no I need the full week when it lays flat I need Sunday through Saturday and bythe way the first day of the week is Sunday it's not Monday Sunday through Saturday that that'sthe flow and then I need time stamps okay I need time stamps but I also need a place to list makeif that makes sense so this is the perfect planner because you do your brain dump you can categorizeeach category of your life at the top second section is where you can do okay let's put thebrain dump into an organized like list for each day you just take what you take the top of the
01:04:23funnel and then you funnel it it's so cool and then the bottom I'm such a planner nerd and Idon't think I've ever talked about this publicly on my podcast but like this is another thing I'mobsessed with and it's like dude you're such a type b bitch and it's like I I'm so type b andthis is the thing here's the thing okay this is how you know you found a good planner this is howyou know especially if you're someone who I don't want to mention it if you're like whatever likeyou usually if you're if you're not okay let's just say you're not type a okay you're more typebe this is how you know you found a great planner and your planner if you actually use that thingthe whole year for me and I did so the planner pad of 2020 my planner pad of 2025 is so well used
01:05:14it's I'm looking at it right now I'm making it's it makes me happy to look at because it's reallymessed up because and that's how I know that I use the shit out of it um and the pages arecrinkly and there's like coffee stains and stuff you know um it just gets beaten up in my I have acar bag like I'm obsessed with having like my planner in my car bag just there's something itdoesn't go in my purse it's a little too big for that it's eight and a half by six and a halfor eight by six and a half we're not gonna you guys this could be an entire episodeum so yeah I got my 2026 planner it's the planner pad and it's amazing it it's so functional fromhow my brain works but that's how you know you found a good planner is if you
01:05:57you used it all year and you get the gistthings are getting too long-winded on this episodelife update I'm golfing more because my sister's on my ass okay I said itpoint of view, you're the golfer in the family. It's your thing.I'm kidding. Like, this is how I grew up though. Oh my God. When you have siblings,I'm doing a lot of reminiscing on childhood today, but like when you have siblingsand you're close in age, my sister and I are 14 months apart. My brother and I are 18 monthsapart growing up. Like she, she was competitive. Okay. Like between siblings and it's kind of
01:06:45never stopped. Not any, no, it's stopped. Like as we've grown up and we're our own adults,we have our own lives, whatever. But now my sister is golfing. She just got married andshe's golfing. And I'm like, and she's like at the country club, she's like doing the thing withher, like the whole thing with her husband, like Corey and I do. And I'm like, like, that is sonormal and healthy. And like, congratulations, you're golfing now. But like my brain is like,she can't get, she can't get better than me at this. That's my ego. I'm so like, I am literallylike, I had a freak out with Corey. I'm like, she just golfed three days in a row.By the way, I think a little sibling rivalry is healthy. I think it's okay. I don't think it's
01:07:24like the worst. It's not, I don't think it's toxic. I think it's like, Hey, if it makes usbetter golfers, then so be it. You know what I mean? Adult sibling rivalry. When you're likesettle down in your thirties. Fuck. Yeah. Let's go. You know what I mean?I think it's worse to be like keeping up with the Joneses. It's like, no dude,use your siblings. So anyways, I had to freak out because she's like posting her swing. She's likelooking better and better every day. And I'm like, so hot. And I'm genuinely like so excitedbecause when I visit her now, like we can golf and we can go at it. You know what I mean? Andit's it's like we haven't done that because growing up it was we're in the same dance classes
01:08:11together we're in the same acting classes we're doing the same plays together and it was alwaysa thing like who got the better role or like you know shit like that or it was like we're playingbasketball together we're um swim team oh my gosh we were doing swim team forever we were on thesame relay team at state in high school like um track she was always a faster runner than meshout out Julia by the way um and then it was like the competition that I like was it's one ofthe things that was really like a fond memory in high school was when we were both in the sameweightlifting class when I was a freshman she was a sophomore and I could lift heavier than she didand now she's like Olympian bodybuilder on her on her resume like she's squatting 400 pounds like
01:09:02she's crazy with or not you know she's amazing crazy um but I just remember I think like we wouldalways like push each other and I think again that's healthy and so now with golf it's likeI had to freak out I was like Corey like I don't know what's been going on but we we keep showingup and just thinking we can walk on like we're just gonna get a tea time at these places welike to go and it doesn't work like that and so we end up just like chilling and like having lunchthere instead so I swear the last four attempts we've made at doing this for it's so dumb it'slike we we just think that it's like a baby course it's not gonna be busy no um but lastweekend so life update we're golfing more because my sister's on my ass and I just can't let this
01:09:48happen I can't and also I haven't been golfing this year um I haven't been able to I had surgeryit's been what a year officially yeah a year and I couldn't for sick I couldn't golf and use myupper body for six months so I literally couldn't golf and then come spring we were like going tothe range and practicing more and then this summer I just we didn't really golf that much and thenwhatever so yeah I'm I still got it like I still like I I thought I wouldn't I'm there's certainthings that I'm obviously, I'm a, I'm a perfectionist when it comes to it. Like I reallyam, but you know, it's my swing felt good the other day. And you know, we played and I did.Okay. I didn't do great. I did. Okay. Um, like, so I'm still doing spin class. You guys,
01:10:43we're going to turn this into, we need to do the content cop out. Cause I'm gettingexhausted by this list um we'll do okay workout stuff so I'm golfing more whateverstill going to spin class still loving it it's so funny how you used to judge it and now I'm likeliterally doing the karate chop hand motions and I'm enthusiastic about itlike I'm really like and I'm teacher's pet like I am I amI've been getting shouted out during spin class they're like like they say my name and I knowit's because I'm very dramatic about the way I'm or maybe I'm not maybe they're just like saying Idon't know I think I do the push-ups really violently that's probably but I love my I love
01:11:33my spin class um i love the people it's a good it's a good vibe it's a good feeling it's a goodway because i'm just the thing is too is like i just i haven't ran in a year either i'm i'm worriedif i run you know i don't know i i i don't know how i'm gonna the thing is i need to i need toattempt at getting a supportive sports bra or two or three i'm just like i just can't i feel like ifeel weird running and I've ran after the dogs when I play with them and it's a lot okay likeit's a lot of you really need to have the right um sports bra if you're gonna run in my situationand by the way I found I finally found a workout um or a yeah workout clothes brand what am Isaying for girls with, with larger chest buff bunny. Okay. They're making, they're making the
01:12:34best sports bras because they, they have, they, they truly make them for girls with, I thinkthat's their whole thing is they make sports bras for girls with larger chest and they think ofeverything. And for me, it's like, I love bombshell sportswear, but I can't wear any of their sportsbras because they're cut so low on the side and I'm not trying to be that chick at the gym okaylike I wear a lot of longer sleeves high neck you know like zip ups I'm just I don't want to be thatperson but but when I do want to be that person I want to be subtly that person where it's a littlecleave but it's not full side boob boob and cleave which is usually what happens with sports brasespecially from bombshell they just don't make they have like one I can I'm actually wearing
01:13:22right now it's their high impact sports bra um and but buff bunny makes the best sports bra socomfortable so supportive cute um for it's so funny i'm a former itty bitty titty committee andwhat do you call the other committee just just a yeah it's so weird it's so weird life is soweird it's like I have a house I have big tits I'm like it's so weird you knowit's what I always wanted you knowokay spin class okay for the house the house updates we're always doing speaking ofhaving a house big times. Um, the house we're doing, we're getting our, uh,walls, wings coated in a couple of rooms. Um, yesterday I met a window tinting guy. We're
01:14:30going to tint a couple of windows. Just, that's the thing we're doing. Still working on thebackyard. That's a never ending problem. The thing about owning a home is it's just,and I said I keep saying this like every day you look at a wall and you're like okay or a room andyou're like or tchotchke and you're like that needs to get moved over here or this is thiswall needs a picture on it or this whole room needs a demolition I'm just like I really there'sa wall in our house I'm like I'm itching I'm itching to demo okay I'm itching to bust a certainwall out and it's probably not gonna probably not gonna do it right now but I think if it'sgonna be in it's definitely happening it's tough oh my gosh we had a debt guy come by
01:15:15that was a hefty quote um it's funny when they likeit's it's one of those things where are you gonna do the bare minimum are you gonna do it right ifyou know what I mean? With home projects. And so ideally you want to do everything right. Andwhenever you make that decision, it's 10 times, it's going to be at least twice as much as if youjust did the basic job, you know? So, um, I think you always ideally always do it right, but it'scrazy. It's like we had, okay. The, the drama of our staircase in our backyard, I think I talkedabout it at the time we had it's just stuff like this it's like okay or you get scammed or you havea guy come over and give you and he hangs out at your house on your deck and he he does scans and
01:16:11images of your backyard as if he's about to like do the thing you're not even he hasn't even beenhired for yet and then it's like he's somehow there for three hours I don't know how thathappened it was like this is weird he had to use the bathroom three times also I don't do that likeunless you're on a project hired to be here and do it I understand that situation but likeif you're just coming to give us a quote and you happen to be I don't know why it lasted that longlong story short $73,000 the quote was 73 Corey and I to this day look at each otherand we'll just like make eye contact at the same time we're just like$73,000. That number is so just the number 73. It's so triggering and funny to us because I
01:17:01think we ended up spending less than five for the same exact thing. Maybe it was more than five.I don't know. I forget. It's been a long time, but it wasn't more than 10 to do that.we have concrete stairs. It was concrete stairs, but he quoted us $73,000.So anyways, that, so the houses were getting wings coating. And then you guys, we need aChristmas tree. Oh, another thing I'm doing, and this is, again, I feel, is that long-winded? Howlong have I been going? I think it's because I don't know when I started. I don't have a conceptof time right now. I really don't. I feel like, okay, from Belopolis right now. We have a scarfon. We have a red sweater and a scarf. No makeup. A little lip gloss. The hair is up. I finally
01:18:03figured out my claw clip routine okay then we'll talk about something else I'm doing at the houseand then we'll do the the reframe thing which is going to be short and sweet I'll promise you thatbut it's really good the reframe brain the brain reframe that you're going to learn from too becauseit's like duh bitch um we'll do that and then we'll do the content cop out section and thenwe'll end it. So I finally figured out why my claw clip situation looks bad all the time whenI do it. I'm like, why does this not look like the other girls? Okay. Okay. You have to launchthat shit forward a little bit. Okay. I was doing my claw clip low, like a low bun.um the hand motion is this I was wrapping my hair to do my claw clip around my finger
01:19:03like a million times like it was a pencil okay and it was like and I would twist that so tightand it might look you guys do so I feel like it kind of looks weird I don't know it's floppybut and then I would just like place it on the back of my head which makes sense that's whereyour claw clip goes but when you launch your hair forward and you do this motion and you likegrab the hair make a ponytail with your hair in your hand and then like almost like wrap it aroundthe wrist pull it forward and angle it like at a 45 degree angle kind of on the back of your headand then clip it it just looks so much more flattering I was doing a little tutorial goto YouTube or Spotify if you want to watch that on video um I was just kind of showing you but yeah
01:19:51Let me do a check in here on my camera. Oh no. Oh wait. Oh no. That's my, that's myclaw clip situation. We are very frayed. Oh no. Oh no. Intermission. We're going to fix the clawclip live on camera I can't do it I it's it had okay my issue was I had a bunch oflike fly away hairs going on um really bad and I spent about three minutesglamming for this episode so that's to be expected but because I I had this epiphany I'm likeyeah you know I do the glam thing I put on a last strip most most podcasts like that's what I'vebeen rocking for a long time now but I realized I was like wait a minute when I don't try so hardmy clips perform better they're not looking at me with all this glam on and I feel like you can't
01:20:57over glam as a podcast host and I definitely do I think it's more I'm more approachable when I'mnot as done up and I want to be more approachable so cute fix my hair um that's how you do yourclock clip, launch that forward. This is again, long-winded. Okay. So on, onwe're going to do the reframe thing and then we're going to move on to thecontent cop-out section and then we're going to wrap it. Okay. So I've been spiraling for a longtime it's like she gets married and she's having an identity crisis immediately like am I a tradwife am I a boss babe am I both is this healthy to be like a stay-at-home wife and to have a potlike should I be is it bad that I like to clean all day like skin by Kristen but what are like
01:22:00is it bad that I have freedom to do that or also like be a boss babe is it good I'm always tryingto like overanalyze my situation right and last week I talked about how I've been attaching myidentity or my value like I don't feel good unless I'm working and and what I'm and the tasks I'mdoing all day are the um the bucket it's in is career and making money that's how I feellike valuable okay even though all the other things I do are valuable it doesn't but becausethey don't make money I don't my brain sees that as a wash and as like a waste of time and it can'tI always feel guilty and like weird and like bad at the end of the day if I was just being anamazing wife and and dog mom and um made magic around here in this home you know which is such
01:22:59a blessing you know what I mean but I still feel this like anxiousness like wait a minute but thatdoesn't that doesn't move my podcast career forward or oh I'm not making money from you knowgoing to Trader Joe's and buying a pot roast like so I have I spiral right I spiral okay and thereframe this is this is so like again I was having a a smash burger after golf the other day and IAnd I thought of this and it's like, it's very simple.It's like, bitch, you're not a trad wife.You're an adult.You're just an adult.
01:23:39Like, oh, there's a mess on the floor.Clean it up.You know?Oh, it's dinner time and you're hungry?You and your husband are hungry?Make a meal.oh you worked out a lot this week and your laundry's piled upyou know you have all these sweaty clothes to clean
01:24:06do the fucking law it's like you're it's like that doesn't why is it that it's these algorithmsand these stupid rabbit holes of content I've gone down over the last few years just I needit's like I didn't have TikTok okay I'm not deleting TikTok we're not even entertainingthat idea but I think the reframe is like no bitch you're just an adult you're just a responsibleadult you're like this is life making meals cleaning up messes maintaining a homeis not that why do you have to label it in your brain is like oh this is like I'm just like ahousewife cleaning cooking all it's like no you're an adult like this is like life you knowand I think my brain somehow got side like really brainwashed by that where I was like wait I don't
01:24:59want to also in my content like come across like this is this is like I don't want this to be mybrand and it's like bitch just because ballerina farm bakes a loaf at 2 p.m on a Tuesday and youalso baked a loaf at 2 p.m on a Tuesday doesn't mean you're in alignment with the way she livesher life and you're both trad wives like no you're just an adult who has free time on on a Tuesday at2 p.m. to fold some dough in between your work because you also have your podcasting job you doyou know like it's not like you're whatever like it's not like your little house on the prairieyou're just that's life I don't know so I basically was like no you're just you're just an adultyou're just a responsible adult it doesn't need to be labeled in a thing and like a stupid because
01:25:52I've tied my identity or I like it's so dumb I overthink everything clearlythe thing I just can't lean into and I and I don't know why and I think it's because it'slike a fear of mine if I just even though it's like not even okay guys this is like okay wespiraled we're now we're just spiraling more about it um yeah I'm just being honest likeme eating my smash burger two beers deep after golf writing down like I think Ichat or not excuse me I um I just read a chat gbt reframe I wrote thatme writing you're not a trad wife you're an adultbut see everything's a thing with social media and like the way people live their lives and
01:26:49fall into a category it's like what category do you and then when you're a person who puts theirlife out out there publicly it's like how what category do you want to be like known for and youhave to like have a strong brand identity and it's like why I fight the trad wife thing really hardeven though I'm literally like,I don't like saying, oh, I'm a child.But I, that's a lot of my life.But that's just also like, you're an adult.Cooking, cleaning, maintaining a home
01:27:20and doing all this is life.That's adulthood.Everyone does it.Single men do it.You know, single women do it.Married, divorced, men without wives do it.You know, men with wives do it.Why, you know, everyone's doing it.
01:27:37So, yeah.And I don't need to make a meal out of that. Yeah. I don't know why I always talk about that. I just, I think I was, am I trying to like, you know how when someone's doing all of these justifications for multiple episodes over the years, like whatever, it's like, is she trying to make herself feel like, or convince herself of something, you know, that whole thing.And I'm like, am I trying to convince myself of something? I guess I, I can't just do the thing without being hyper aware of is this, does this fall under the identity I want or does this align with how like my identity?And if it doesn't, then I get scared. I get all anxious about it. And it's like, Hey, you can grow and evolve and change. And when I look at my life though, in all, in all honesty, I've been on my lifestyle and the way I've, the way I grew up, the way I, during childhood, high school, college, post college, like living on my own for the first time in a new city, living with men before marriage.marriage. Okay. All of these situations, I have always been the same bitch. Okay.I have always been a fucking homemaker and I don't, and I don't know why that to me,I'm like shy about it. I think that's what it is. I think I haven't been able to,yeah, that's what it is. Okay. We just had, we're spiraling. And I think I just had another
01:29:18epiphany. I think I'm shy about it when it's just, it's just who I am. It's me. It's not even anissue but I think I don't want to be known to be like I think I'm scared that you might perceiveme as like she's married she has a husband and she has a podcast and she is a homemakerwhy is that negative like what the fuck is wrong with me actually because I think I'm maybe I'minsecure about my podcast what it really is is I'm insecure that okay I never want to portraythat I'm dicking around being a homemaker all day which is what I do because I don't want people togo well that's why your podcast isn't isn't successful that's why you're not popping off likewhat other girly podcasts are popping off you know what I mean like maybe it's just all insecurity
01:30:12that's what it all is it's always insecurity so maybe that's what I'm insecure about I thinkthat's what we just figured out cool that's really interesting good talk you probably already knewthat as I started spiraling about you're an adult you're not a trad wife like what the fuck was thatsegment um too much introspection too is not a good thing and I think I need to I need to likewrite that above my behind the camera here I have a doorway thing and a wall like it's like a doorIt's like, and then above it, I just need to write like too much introspection.I think it's fun though when people, when I listen to other podcasts, when they talk aboutthemselves and they like think deeply about why they are the way, I just like, I like listening
01:31:02to that. So I like making that kind of content, I guess. I don't know. Okay. So quickly before wemove to the content cop-out section, which might be a little chaotic, we're going to find out whenwe get there I told you in the beginning at some point during this podcast some it's it's gonnaseem like you're watching a live stream maybe it might be a little whatever um but before we get upwhere we go to that I forgot here I have um news updates I have two things okay Luigi Mangionelooking hot in court I don't know why he was there I don't know what's going onbut those photos were nice they were nice I enjoyed I enjoyed seeing the Dumois accounton Instagram post Luigi Mangione smiling in court looking very handsome okay I'm not sure why he's
01:32:04what was going on in that in that um session hearing whatever but all I know is that helooked nice he hasn't he has continued while he has been in jail he has continued tokeep his I was gonna say he's continuing to look smacks while he's in jail he's justwhat is going on let me just like hold on let me just type in Luigi Mangione and just seewhat the like latest is um officer testifies about moments before Luigi Mangione's arrestthere's something about the backpacksomething about like the body cam footage from the cop during his arrest turned offafter 11 minutes and then they found a gun in his backpack which
01:32:53apparently people are like when they place the gun I don't know I don't really followit that closely. I did an entire episode. It's called deep dive, Luigi Mangione's bizarre life.I did that about a year ago. Um, and so, yeah, I learned a lot about hislove of getting, I who's got lip reading.oh man this is very crass this is too crass that was too that was way too crass okaythe other news update here is that taylor swift and travis kelsey don't fight apparentlyit's the driest headline i've ever readlike let me like it's just like what are we doing as a society as a society
01:33:49travis and taylor don't fight travis kelsey news travis kelsey says he and taylor swift have neveronce had an argument during their two and a half year relationship the couple first got togetherin 2023 and announce their engagement in August. They've never argued in their two and a half yearrelationship. Um, okay. So the Kansas city chief's tied in with what he's 36. Okay. Made a surprisingclaim on the Wednesday, December 3rd episode of his podcast, new heights. Oh, that came out today.okay this is hot off the press um while he was interviewing guest George Clooney that's a wildcollab George Clooney does podcasts I guess I haven't what does he even look like these daysGeorge Clooney I used to think he was so hot when I was literally like three
01:34:52watching oceans 11 with my parents he's looking old okay but looking good looking older butlooking good when when asking about his past claim that he and his wife Amal have never gotteninto an argument in their 10 years together Kelsey had the script flipped on him by the Oscar winner64 George Clooney no I'm not lying Clooney Clooney insisted Travis shall we ask you the samequestions Kelsey laughed at the reference to his fiance Taylor Swift claiming well it's only beentwo and a half years and you're right I haven't gotten into an argument never oncenow I will say this as amarried woman of one year with an abundance of wisdom on relationships
01:35:44I get this I do I thinkokay there's like a thing with like couples who don't fight red flag likethere's something wrong with that if you if youeveryone is just a hundred percent always on the same like that's kind of a red flag I thinkfighting is one there's a difference between because I don't I can't say I have never had ayeah like a fight a fight to me is like yelling at each other we're never yelling at each otherwe know we don't yell that's one of our core things is like we don't yell we never yelllike no one's ever like screaming at the other person ever for any reason like that doesn't
01:36:36happen, but it's never fighting. It's like disagreeing about a problem. And we're bothon the same team arguing or going at that problem, trying to solve it.But yeah, you get into a little like disagreements. Like we're literallyat the nursery the other weekend and, and he's adamant about a certain bush that we,that he thinks we should put on a hillside. And I'm like, absolutely fucking not. That's not afight. And we can, we can eloquently have disagreements. Like we can eloquently cordially,like it's never personal. That's the other thing. Once it gets personal, it's over. Like, that'sprobably what Kelsey, Travis Kelsey was really referring to. They probably, I mean, I'm sure
01:37:30are they butt heads a little bit just like a tinge um I'm so sick of talking about TaylorI don't moving on we're gonna do the content cop outcontent cop out okay you guys this is a segment that I don't know how it's gonna go but we'regoing to find out. Okay. We've, we've three options here. Okay. And I think I know whichone I'm going to go with, but I'm scared. Okay. The reason why we're calling this a content copout is because I'm going to, instead of pre deciding what content I'm going to share withyou today. We're going to let it come to us and we're going to, we're going to discover it as wego. Okay. So the three options are this doom scroll with me. And there are rules to that game.
01:38:32I've already established doom scroll with me,read Reddit advice and confessions with me on a whim. Just pull up those Reddit threads. I alreadyhaven't pulled up but like read the latest on those and i'll offer advice i guess on the adviceone um or we'll definitely not do this one i thought haha we'll do an og buzzfeed quiz achristmas themed buzzfeed quiz to wrap this episode i think we're gonna do the doom scrolland i already decided that i think when we got like i finally by this time before this part ofthe podcast. I finally, you know how I said that? I was like, you know, by the time we get to thissegment, I'm already going to decide. Here's why I want to do it. Okay. Because I think it would be
01:39:22fun. And by the way, this is not like promoting health and wellness. This is not like literallyoffering to like, including you in my doom scroll right now is not, I know that's not the best forus, but you're going to do it anyways at some point today. So why not just do it with me? Sothese are the rules. Okay. So I'm going to go on TikTok. This is what we're going to do.I'm going to go on TikTok and the first rule is this. I cannot skip the video.So whatever comes up, I can't skip it. I have no, so you're going to also like, this is me showing my ass, like see what my algorithm is serving me. That's very personal. Okay. So we're going to number one, you can't skip the video that pops up. We have to watch the whole thing. Or no, no. My second rule here is I have to watch at least halfway before speaking.so I can't if it starts and I want to say something I have to shut up until it's halfwayand then I can pause it and comment on it and then if I want to skip okay I can't skip but if
01:40:41I do I only have three skips so I can only skip the video if I'm like this is stupid or whateverlike three times so yeah that's um how it's gonna start I don't have anything pre-lined up hereand we're just going to figure it out as we go.I'm going to be a bitch for a sec.Here we go.I work full time.I go to school full time.I show up for my mom.
01:41:03I show up for my three best friends.I show up for my sister who's in prison, mind you.My brother passed away last year.My brother and my dog the same week.I got a puppy February of this year.Went through a major abdominal surgery February of this year.I'm on hormone therapy.Throughout all of that, I've maintained a 4.0.
01:41:19I'm a part of an honor society.I got a degree.I'm getting another degree.And guess what I have?A boyfriend that I still show up for,that i still make feel special okay so your man has no fucking excuse there are women who aredoing everything that i'm fucking doing and that are mothers on top of it and still show up fortheir fucking husbands men have no excuse why they're not doing what they're supposed to be
01:41:41doing everybody has okay we're past halfway i think we've got about 10 seconds leftperiod that's all i have to say fucking job you don't get to use that as an excuse why you don'tshow up for people get it together learn how to emotionally regulate yourself and be a fucking mansack up because women out here got some big fucking balls big ones they're getting a littlelarger than yours oh my god okay first video we're off to a great startum do i have any othercomments on that i meanwhat did she say about prison in the beginning hold on i go to school full time i show up for
01:42:28my mom i show up for my three best friends i show up for my sister who's in prison or sister's inprison yeah so sack up i feel like i'm not good at this because i should say more about the videothat's the sentiment thoughit's likewomen are badassesand men need to step it the fuck upthat's like the vibe out thereI guess the thing is
01:42:59about being a womanis it's all about like how much you canendure and sacrificeand like suck it upthat to me is likeand it doesn't have to be that wayI think it just is what it fucking is you know and we're really good at it we're really resilientwomen are so resilient and strong and capable of so much put on our shoulders and we just
01:43:24fucking buck up and do it and I think yeah she's like men do it I mean not that men don't men domen do it too it's not black and white okay it's not all men moving on home in my driveway butteddy is passed out and i know that he's at the point in his nap where he's not going to transferhe's gonna do oh no this is okay i'm skipping this one love her emily i feel like she lost her sontrig in the swimming pool this is the influencer from i'm not sure where she lives it's like utahmaybe um uh she's doing a get ready with me talking about the holidays and some of my thoughtslately i mean we're just gonna skip it's just i'm not into this vibe for this segment she'sshe's great i follow her she's great am i on my for you page yes i am i'm not on my following
01:44:18if i did my makeup like a white girl this is what would happen are you guys the importance of usingmakeup techniques that fit your skin tone and your features nothing wrong with how they dotheir makeup but it just not look good on me this side we're gonna do the makeup as if i was a whitegirl I'm so sorry I chose to do this segment like we're sitting through a makeup tutorial right nowand I'm dying to skip it this is my second skip in a row I just I want good juice I saw a videolike six months ago on TikTok I'll show it to you at the end but it like literally changed my lifenot to be dramatic or anything I'm so fucking bored I'm so you guys like I just can't do thisto you I can't let me just go on the explore section here can I just like see I want to
01:45:02choose my own we just failed their own game we just lost our own game okay I'm bored I don'tknow why okay my algorithm is very much like boss or badass girl energy like anti-consumerI don't know um gay men gay men ranting I love the like I have my favorites I follow they'rejust the fucking best at it. Um, what else? Yeah. Like dog videos. Um, it's boring out there. Youguys, I need to, I'm so my taste is my, my shit's so vanilla. This is so bad for us. Why am Ilooking at this right now? Oh no, there's a Rottweiler. I'm going to cry. Don't look atthe Rottweiler. Buster was a Rottweiler. Thing about Buster is that anytime I would go to theirhouse, my mom, my mom and dad's mother-in-law and father-in-law's house is that I always had
01:46:11a soft spot for Buster. Like I would always give him those extra pets and scratches. And I, I don'tcare. Cause he was a Rottweiler and he was really hairy and like huge. He's a hundred, he was 14040 pounds. And I would always like get my, my hands would get so gross and everything. But Iwas like, you know, I'll just wash them after he was in heaven. I would scratch his, I even tookthese like little brushes and I would just like for 30 minutes, I would just do it. He loved it.I even got him to like roll over and I, he never really did this apparently, but I like rubbed histummy it's sad there's nothing I mean he was 10 but also like I don't know I haven't experiencedit's the first time I've experienced pet loss since like it's not even mine but I'm so close
01:47:03to Corey's family we're there all the time we bring our dogs over there and they like play andum i don't think i've experienced pet loss since my dog in high school which is i don't yeah sookay this is boring let's just do reddit advice insteadum oh no this is just immediately like i'm 29 i'm a female and i caught my husband 31 malemasturbating to my friend's selfie last night I feel sick oh no we've been married for fouryears together for seven I always thought we had a solid relationship good sex life no redno big red flags oh the bitch's name was Sarah let's call no oh there she's like let's call herSarah oh no oh no I hate like this this is like oh it was removed this poster was removed so it
01:48:02was just pulled up on my, um, my mom blames me 34 year old female for my brother, 35 year old malefor being unemployable. Okay. This is Reddit advice. I have a career in healthcare. Part ofmy job is giving vaccines. Way back in 2021, when the COVID vax first came out, I was vaccinatingthe public like crazy. Busy times. My brother, who still lives with our parents, again, he's 35,no judgment, just mentioning, expressed his disdain for the vaccine. Whatever. He's anti-vax.i can't force him to get it at the time he didn't have a job and was lamenting thatall employee employees were obsessed with applicants having a covid vaccine cardshowing they have been vaccinated i offered to vaccinate him easy peasy i can even come
01:49:06come over to the house and do it he declined my mother at the time i love where this is goingmy mother at the time asked me to process his vaccine like any other patient and physicallygo through the motions of giving him the vaccine but just squirt it out into the air next to hisshoulder as a pretend as in pretend to vaccinate him purely so he could get a job and lie abouthis health records i admittedly refused we had big arguments about this at the timehave not talked about it since this thanksgiving five-ish years later my brother still has nevergotten a job and still lives at home I learned that my mom squarely blames me for not forginghis vax records back in 2021 that's the sole reason for his unemployment sounds like you need
01:49:59to get a new mom I was that's so corny I was so angry that I had to take some deep breathsand excuse myself this was after dinner and I just got up and left said I'm going home I haven'tspoken to them since and my mom has been texting me all weekend wanting to talkwhat would you do in my shoeswhat a dumb bitchit's your brother's fault duh it's his it's his it's his problem it's nothe's that's such a dumb excuse as to why he's unemployed because she didn't pretend and likeshoot the vaccine off the side of his shoulder and give him a vaccination card um she's like
01:50:56that's so dumbI think he's like fully his parents are like are they still required they're not requiring thatthat's not a thing so he's using that as an excuse to his elderly parents as to why he can't get ajob still so he can shack up with him with them he's saying like he's probably telling his parentslike yeah i can't get a job because i don't have the vaccine i don't fucking know how dumb peopleare some i sometimes feel like i regret ending things with this guy oh one minute agoohI'm I'm 30 and think my fiance's friend has a crush on me
01:51:51okay this feels strange to even write as a 30 year old man but here we are the word crushmakes me feel like a kid but I do not know what else to call this situationI've been with my fiance for eight years she was a close group she has a close group of four orfive friends she went to high school with and over the years the girls have gotten partnersslash husbands and that is why my reading is so like so shitty right now and that's the group wehave now one of our friends let's call her x and I have always gone on well nothing unusualwe both worked similar jobs and had similar goals and we've always talked easily over the past yeari stepped away from a stressful corporate job to go back to studying i have been doing part-time
01:52:42construction gardening to pay the bills which means two things i am no longer a stressed sunlightdepraved corporate goblin and i have dropped a fair bit of weight and toned up without reallytrying the short version is of this is i feel better i have in years but so he's fuckable nowthe friend thinks he's fuckable now but something in the dynamic with x the friend of his fiancehas shifted at first it was small things longer longer looks that i would catch when i was notlooking directly at her her making a point to come over and talk to me whenever the group wastogether I thought she was just curious he wants to fuck her I'd always have to make things likeokay um but lately has taken a turn in a few awkward moments from and I've is taken a turn
01:53:36into a few awkward moments for me she's noticeably noticeably more touchy with me she will slidein right beside me during group chats close enough that her leg presses against mewhen we hug by was she always a normal um so her body language has changed towards himit's the kind of hug where you suddenly become very aware of her body againsthe likes like if he's calculating this okay wait a minutebecause he's reciprocate orthe whole thingso now i'm sitting here feeling confused a bit and i feel i feel like i've stumbled into a
01:54:23storyline i definitely did not sign up for i do not want to jump to conclusions but i do not wantto pretend these moments are not happening someone said i'm sure your wife has noticed this tooplease yeah um i don't know i feel like if the friend of the fiance is it his wife it's hisfiance it's it's an obvious thing like you know when this is happening but then it's likeI'm trying to think in my friend situations with Corey's friendsit's always like there's never a situation wherethere's no vibes everyone's like married up and happy and like whatever there's no vibes it'salways like I mean no one's like lingering and like touching me or like I don't know so basically
01:55:15tell the wife or the fiance she probably already notices it um oh he said he told her so I told herand said it was more of an awkward feeling for me if you know someone of seven eight seven to eightyears and the dynamic changes it's pretty noticeable and a bit of a shock most friendshipsfall into a routine and that's the beauty of them but when it shifts it's really noticeableum she she his fiancee listened but kind of downplayed it at first thinking I was justannoying her and or being weird but when I said how it manifests and what her friend had been doingand if that and that if I and that if you did that to a man you're obviously putting somethingout there she did agree and definitely she did agree that it's definitely a bit odd and knowing
01:56:10my fiance I can tell she's waitshe's thinking over things thatI don't know this is kind of stupid um I think you just keep your distance right like you justyou don't, I mean, you go out of your way to like, if it's a hug goodbye to like side hug or youwhatever, like you kind of avoid the, you keep your distance from your fiance's friend. That'swhat, if it was me, that's what I would do. I'd be like, like, I don't want to be around this person.They're trying to be like touchy feely with me. Like, that's what you, you just, you do what youcan to like keep the person at a distance you don't let them do it and I feel like he's letting
01:56:58her do it because he wants to fuck her trying to twist this like what is the or he's feelinghimself he's fuckable now she thinks he's fuckable now they're lingering their hugs because he'shugging her back that's the thing a lingering hug unless because it would be weird if a guy one ofCorey's buddies would like hug me I would end it quick you know I wouldn't be like lingering withhim unless it was I mean I'm not not that I don't give good hugs but like with you just there's away to do it where it's like yeah um I wouldn't make them like hang off they would like still behugging I'd be like backing up they'd be like falling on the floor so I'm like you're this isgoing a little too long buddy like back it up okay this is kind of fun should I do reddit advice more
01:57:51a married man just slid into my dms what oh god damn itgod if i've learned if i've learned anything though like that does not i mean okaymarried yeah married meni don't get the thing is is i don't people just don't there's there's levels to it buti feel like me being married married to some men in my experience since being marriedisn't a thing or engaged with a ring on my finger like they're like don't there's no likethey don't fucking care which is so i i it's disgusting like it's so disrespectful it's likehave some like some decorum like respect like they just it's on their
01:58:42it's whatever um and then married men have i had that experience noum i think here's the thing though i think when someoneoh i'm getting speaking of married men my husband's calling meyou're on the cast oh is it done we we we're we're done crying that was about 30 minutes atthe top of the show we lit a candle for buster um is it done it's done fuck dudeSorry, I'm podcasting, so I'm being more dramatic.He was a fighter, too.They had to give him a little bit more.
01:59:33Damn it.My mom was there, and they scratched his butt.You know how he always does his little like, rah, rah, growl?Did he do it?He keeps scratching him.He was still doing it.My candle, is my candle still lit?I lit a candle for him.
01:59:47It's called Cinnamon Noel.Yeah, well, my dad said he wants to get it.get another dog and get a puppy and train it wow okay another rottweiler yeah poor thingjust happened so fast like i'm gonna after the show i'm gonna look at pictures and stuff i thinkthat's like a good way to remember him and just think about it and like feel it you know i gottafeel it yeah sir you off to lunch i'm off to lunch and um yeah nice just grabbing some foodand then heading back nice thanks for taking the boys oh yeah they're hanging i put theirbandanas on they're very happy they're so cute they're bandanas we're all sleeping together
02:00:42tonight all four of us okay yeah I want to reminisce I know you never know life you justnever know you never know what's your favorite buster memory do you have one just when he wasa puppy just you know all the fun I used to have with him yeah crazy all the late cuddles andjust hanging him pretend growling when he just wants more scratches I know and I think that'swhy i would scratch him for so long when i first met him because i was scared he was gonna likei didn't know that's what he did so i was like scared yeah he's like come on woman keep goingand i did i would get my hands so dirty oh yeah oh yeah don't stop all right all right wella downy show but okay now what where do they what do they do with them now
02:01:39I cremate himand take hisyou know his bodyI'm going to cry like stop okay I shouldn't have asked thatquestion I don't like to think about it I just visualizedthem like rolling him in the cremationcenter or whateverit's sad
02:01:54yeah it sucksI'm going to actually cry okay like we got to stopokay moving on have a great lunchthanks KaraI'll cry later I have a show to dowe're reading reddit adviceand I'mreading about like
02:02:11like the next one is a marriedman just slid into my DMs what do I dooh boymy wife keepsthe next one I'll do is my wife keepsaccusing me of being gay that might be a betterone oh boy not methough
02:02:26definitely not you honeyalright I love yousorry for the dramaI'll talk to you soonlove you tootalk to you soon yeah bye okay sad definitely not me that's such a fun you're not a fun game butlike straight men like fucking with them about being gay is so fun sometimes because they'reso like i i swear to god well no it's like the honey boo boo thing like everyone's a little gay
02:03:00right? Isn't that what she said? Like, I know I'm 40%, but there's like a test you can takeonline and I want to like force him to take it. He's at, he's at least like 2%. Every man is atleast 2% gay and that's okay. We're all a little bit something. We're a little bit, a little bit,I think, excuse me. Oh my God. It's getting long. This episode's getting long.I'm going to sneeze now. That's, this is like that time of year. You know what I mean? We're just,we don't edit we don't cut this out I don't know what just happened I think that was like mypunishment for calling my husband early when I say two percent gay okay on that note let's readthis one my wife keeps accusing me of being gay my wife keeps if this is how it starts
02:04:09my wife keeps accusing me of being gay not as a joke she's being serious because we haven't beenintimate in a long time the last time we tried i wasn't able to perform it sounds like he needsblue chew or i don't know trip to the doctor's office i've been trying to avoid the issue tobe honest but she won't let it drop i'm not gay by the way i'm just not attracted to her becauseshe gained like a hundred pounds in the last five years. Well, there's your fucking issue, buddy.You're not attracted to your wife. You're not gay. She's fat. You don't want to fuck her.Pretty simple. Sounds like they need to go to a couple's counselor. Get her on a Zempic, you know?This is the argument. She's like, you're gay. And he's like, you're fat. And it just goes back and
02:05:04well you're that's a tough one you know and I and I've said it and I'll say it again I'll keepsaying it never like she gained 100 pounds the last five years divorce her like you're I'm sorrylike I am so anti letting yourself go for any reason like no they're you that is such a prisonto put your partner in to to be hot to be fuckable hot young sexy whatever they're attracted to youand then you just throw in the towel you're married whatever and then you just throw in thetowel you stop trying you gain 100 pounds maybe gain 200 I don't know 60 pounds even and they'rejust like not attracted to you anymore the whole like no matter what size you are i'll still loveyou of course they love you but like you gotta you gotta keep it sexy for your partner at all
02:06:05times and i'm just anti yeah turning into a frumpy slob i just think it's disgusting and i think yeahthis this man should divorce his wife unless she loses bring okay this is the thing couplescounseling. Sure. Be honest with your wife. That's, I don't know how you tell your wife she'sfat and you're not attracted to her. You can't, you don't, that's why you don't want to have sexwith her without literally saying that. I think people, a lot of the times are like, well, youhave to like, okay, like take her on a hike or like stop buying junk food in the house or likewhatever like do things to kind of help her lose weight without directly addressing it so I thinkthat's lame as shit and she's aware she knows she gained the weight um
02:07:03to cancel sorry see we're just like this is the stream stream part we're just kind of scrollingand you're with me right now.What if I did the confessions?I think these are fun too when people confess stuff.I use my company credit cardto feed one homeless person per meal.Shout out.My company rakes billions in profits.
02:07:36I work in a high level sales rolefor a top 50 tech company.Often I have to travel for workto different high-priced cities across the globe,London, Paris, San Francisco, New York, Sydney, et cetera.My meal stipend is over $300 a day for these big cities,given everything is pricey.This is only why I travel, by the way, not every single day.
02:08:01So if I'm buying four tacos for lunch, we'll just make it six.Throw in an extra water bottle instead of one.Maybe add two more chips to go with that meal.Are they really going to judge me for overeating?so much food that's that's under the policy doubt it can't do this every single day but it happensfairly frequently technically unethical and worthy of being fired but society has enough issuesbeen doing it for the last two years not stopping now always brings a smile to both mine and theirface being handed a nice warm full meal he's looking for brownie points that's why he's
02:08:38posting that he wants to feel good about himself today so he posted on reddit um but shout out likeyou should be fired he should be fired but keep going keep goingI'm all for feeding people a warm meal who need it I can never be against that I think you knowif you're principal then if you're like doing your job correctly to the book you wouldn't bedoing that but like also but I feel like the thing about doing things like that is it's ait's a slippery slope or whatever where it's like that's you're gonna start doing those kinds ofthings in other areas of your life it's like stealing you know when you feel like oh thatwas easy I can get away what and then you like keep that going for like the rest of your life
02:09:28If you like keep and then the thrill, like you're chasing that like thrill of getting away with it or whatever.You have to be careful, but here and there, it's like, hey, if you see the guy outside the restaurant and you're at a Chipotle in Sydney, Australia, and he's homeless with a dog and you're like, it's cold out.I don't know. It's probably not that cold there, but it's like, yeah, get the six taco plate instead of the four taco plate and hand him one on the way out.Your company's rack and build, you know, you're doing, you're, you're doing the Lord's work thatI think it is so odd by the way. And I never, I think about this every day because we do have ahomeless crisis here in Southern California. I live in San Diego and I see it every day. Andit's like, I think it is so weird driving by people that are so disheveled and like hungry,like on drugs, flopping over. I mean, there's pockets of the city that are so bad. And I think
02:10:24it's so weird to be a human being next to another human being just a car away you're on this andthey're on the sidewalk you're just in your car I just think it's so strange how I don't know it'slike a whole different world and we're not tapped into it we don't we don't just we don't like pullthe car over like are you okay like can I help you it's just kind of accepted and I understandit's more nuanced than that obviously like we're not I'm not oblivious to the reality of thatsituation but um some people it just looks like they need a warm meal and it's just go give themgive them a taco on the company credit card umoh late night google search made me realize what kind of dad I'm turning into
02:11:18that's too triggering for me on a day like todayi just need to throw this off my chest because i'm donelet's see what this is about i'm a man and i love this girland she loves me but it's hard because the islamic laws here are stricteven if she wants to be with me due to islam rulesher parents make the final decision if they don't like something about you it's over like am i goingto be with her or with them what she's an adult she should be able to choose for herself but mostfamilies want you to have a high-paying job a big house and multiple cars in a country where most
02:12:09people are people barely earn enough my only hope is to leave university and find a job before theyforce her to marry someone else because it's totally totally normal here lol everything feelsso complicated okay two things great motivation to get a good job to work hard so you can getyour dream girl this is a positive thing that is positive it's okay to be motivated what word wasthat motivated by, um, potentially getting the, the, the feeling of a woman's touch that youlust over. Fucking what am I saying? To be motivated, to dream hard and work big and pursuewealth and, um, all the things. If that means that you get your,so like we're not gonna say the crass thing we're not um you know that's positive that's good it's
02:13:17good to be motivated by something um you need motivation in life to get you out of bed everyday and if that's your motivation fuck yeah you know also run away and marry her I don't knowwhere he's at but he needs to um just disappear just like the movies you knowit's a love story baby just say yes or somethingthat's the episode let me see if I forgot anythingthat was fun doing advice thanks for hanging out please hit that subscribe button whereveryou're listening right now I'm on apple spotify google podcast stitcher breaker overcast whereveryou listen to podcasts, please hit that subscribe button and review the show five stars while you're
02:14:07there. Follow me on Instagram and Tik TOK at Jacqueline Monroe. And finally, if you want tosupport the show, patreon.com slash TJMS, patreon.com slash TJMS. It's $5 a month. It's mysubscription service. It's my tip jar. Go check it out. Patreon.com slash TJMS. All right. Thanksfor hanging out. That was a fun one, a somber one. Just a sad one. I'll go. I'm going to gocry now. I'm going to go look at buster pictures and cry now. Love you. Talk to you next week. Bye.Thank you.
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