The Nick DiPaolo Show - Mass Lesbian Bar's Insane Rules | The Nick DiPaolo Show #1955

Episode Date: September 23, 2026

In today's episode Nick talks about A Freak Fall, Trump's UN Speech, A Motorcycle Mystery, Dyke Bar Patrons Eat Their Own and Brady Cusses On Air! WATCH THE FULL SHOW LIVE & FREE at 6pm ET only on Rumble! https://rumble.com/thenickdipaoloshow/ TOUR DATES, SOCIALS, PERSONAL VIDEOS, STREAM ALL MY COMEDY SPECIALS! https://www.nickdip.com/ MERCH - GRAB A MUG, TSHIRT, HOODIE, STICKERS AND MORE! https://shop.nickdip.com/

It, let it roll. Oh, may Steve Jobs' mother fucking die tonight. Shut up. Oh, I was picking up. Do you hear that? Radio Free Europe. Of course, it's not letting me do it vertically the way I like it. Fucking fuck your mother.

Anyways, all of I want to say was this. That's all. Is that that hard, God? Welcome to the show, I think. If you're watching on some other platform and you want to watch this full show, click the link in the description right now. All full episodes.

of my show are always streaming live at 6 p.m. and free on Rumble. And if you want ad free, which is how I watch TV, join Rumble Premium. Today I'm going to be talking about, oh God, some lady got paralyzed by accident as opposed to intentionally. A freak accident. It's laughable. Not to her, but to me. We're going to show a few clips of Trump letting it fly at the UN. he spends too much time going over what he's accomplished and not enough time say those things but then fucking contrast them

to what Biden and whatever. Anyways, you know what you're doing. Oh, we got a bar somewhere in western Massachusetts which is another dyke hangout apparently. This is a lesbian bar and you won't believe what rule they just passed there. You'll be in shock. We get a funny clip of Tom Brady Sunday cursing on air.

Not out of anger, of course. Mr. Perfick, it was out of empathy or sympathy. Anyways, and that's enough, I would say. Jackson Dart, who the giants were counting on this year to change the trajectory of their franchise. I mean, he's a really great, great. quarterback and well he's out for the season now they butcher that one on the other night during the broadcast Monday night broadcasts matter of fact they all you know and it's so funny because I'm writing my book right now although I don't know why I just I don't

if it's because I'm on hydrocodone and fucking ibuprofen I just can't get the umf you should see me when I go home I'm fucking I go to my bed I try getting a few stories for the show for the next day. I'm out like a light. Then last night, one o'clock comes, I'm like this, watching fucking guitar video. I'm all screwed up. What's I talking about? Anyways, yeah, the chapter I'm on now or the rant is about sideline reporters. And not so much female ones of change my angle. It's the job that is unnecessary. Now that I think of it, I'd rather see if you're going to have a useless job I'd rather be looking at, you know,

and there aren't too many male ones left. There's a couple, but, you know, I'd rather look at Katie George. I mean, the way do they find these are Jenny Dell Oh my. Anyways, that's what I was writing about. Why did I bring that up? Because when Jackson Dark got hurt, you know,

they're waiting for a friggin report from the sideline, and that came back as, it was Melissa Stark, I think. But she can only go on the information they'd giver or whoever it was. And they said, one of the, one of the giants training staff said he'll be okay or whatever. And then he was on the sideline. And Melissa Stark reported that he was trying to get back in the game. And so everybody's like, it must be, it's not that bad. Maybe, maybe three

weeks or whatever at the worst. No, he's done. Once again, proving my point. Sideline reporting is ridiculous. All you have to do is pick up the phone and call the x-ray room. It's a the stadium if you want to get the official word. But then that would rule out sideline reporting and would have no, you know, women wouldn't be represented because that's why the job is invented. I don't want to give away the whole ramp, but I just did. So that's that. Fucking Giants, man.

Red Sox P.U. But they're not playing anybody. By the way, the coach, the interim coach is now the Red Sox manner, signed a contract. I didn't get the details yesterday. And he should be. Under him, they were 20, 21 games over 5. I don't have some, taken over sinking ship. Unbelievable.

So good for him. Doesn't help you or I. That's about all I got because I don't really live a life anymore. You know what I do for fun. I drank downtown, which is two miles from my house, and I try to back up all the way home. Backwards. In the mirror. You ever do that?

Stumbled over some old Louis C.K. bits. Him at Carolines. He looks like he did with me and him moved down there in the early 90s. It's that, and it's still. It was, he wasn't as great as he is now, but you could see it. And he was murdering on stage because it was some benefit for deaf people, and they had a lady up there signing. In his last eight minutes of jokes were blowjob.

And so the lady's doing this. And it's a funny. I mean, he's murdering, but the crowd's laughing more at the lady. He's doing a bit about, this is one of his bits. He goes, yeah, I remember I was walking down the street, and this guy goes, that's a faggy shirt you're wearing. And he goes, complete stranger, that's a faggy shirt. I remember the shirt, he goes, it was pink,

had a collar, and a bunch of little guys blowing each other. She's over there going like this. And Louis kept telling him, blow him. job joke. It was murdering. I'm just saying. That guy deserves, and he really is. He's all over. He's even beating us as far as putting up clips and shit.

Well, I know algorithms. I understand that. But I'm guessing there's a lot of other people like me who love Louis. And they're bringing it. It's just coming left and right. And each thing is fucking funnier than the next. I just, I'm not in awe of

many people. You know? He's number one of my A guy, I think he's the best Everett. I know there's people who get it that follow comedy would agree with that, but most people would bring up

like I said, I always bring up Mr. Fluffy, the Mexican kid. He's a good guy. I'm a filling arenas and I'm just saying I never hear Louis and let me tell you something, Richard Pryor and you guys can sit home and say I'm full of shit. Richard Pryor, you name

them all. You name the best comics out there even Carlin carlin would be the closest to being as prolific as Louie but just just fucking sheer fucking funny I know I'm talking about him I haven't talked to him forever um that's all I got folks someday I'll do a real show let's get to it look out below what a tragic story this is a course I find humor in it you've let me tell you something. That's my idea of a technical problem. I can't get the stand open to put the iPad.

Look out below. A Tennessee festival go, it was paralyzed from the waist down after a man fell from a tree. White guy. And landed on her during a concert in Kentucky over the weekend. Jamie Altshofer

suffered a severed spinal cord in the freak accident event at the louder than Life Festival in Louisville on Friday. Remember Tony Sopranos saying that? They were talking about somebody who could talk to Melby said one of her friends

had, you know, rare ended or something in a bad car accident. He goes, that's life for you. He's just going to have mind your business. The fucking asshole slams into... Her husband, Connor, told the outlet that the man fell on Jamie, who doesn't remember the frightening ordeal. You know, how do you?

to get hit the fucking during a performance by the band knocked loose how fucking can you make the shit up you know who was knocked loose the guy in the tree and fucking knocked her out knocked loose concert oh my fucking god good good thing you good thing the band wasn't stabbed in the ass i turn around and see her on her back the husband says but that's nothing unusually said. What a jerk. Then everyone said some dude fell out of a tree. Everyone said some authorities rushed to the Kentucky Fair and Exposition Center

and transported Jamie to the University of Louisville Hospital, where she continues to recuperate, but it is uncertain if she'll be able to walk again. It's one thing if she was, you know, if it was guns and roses or funny, than whatever band you guys like today. But I mean, come on, knocked loose. They haven't been good since the early 90s. Oh, did you guys see that snobble? Knocked loose.

Your wife's in a wheelchair. What happened? Fucking asshole and fell out of a treat of concert. I can't feel my feet, she said. I've said that many times. After watching 11 hours of football, I try to get up and get a sandwich. Can't do anything that I used to, she said. Then the husband pined in.

Yeah, but she's. still at dick level, so she's our, I mean, this guy's a real piece of gabbage, huh? When asked if she had a message for the man, this is what she said about the man that fell on her. But I'll forgive. A fundraiser has been started for the Tennessee native who continues to be stuck in the bluegrass state. That sounds bad. I could make a wheelchair joke if I was funny right now. As she said, she continues thinking of her children back home.

I'm not going to be able to play with the kids, Jamie said. And her husband said, yeah, but either is Jackson Dart. And started another fight. Then another guy fell out of the tree and landed on him. Now they both have to get a helper monkey. Into the mic! That was a fucking triple off the wall. Dallas said it's raining men.

Anytime I try to think of a faggy, you know, YMCA, fuck that. It's raining men. You could fire any gay bar. Well, how do I know this? Because I lived in New York. I used to pop gay once in a while to try to catch one of my friends. Like, you know, like, you know, what was his name on the soprano?

The fact guy? Anyhow, it's raining men. Good one. How did I fucking miss that? I don't think I want to do these gigs coming up. I mean, that was a fastball right down the middle. Hey, speaking of that, did you see anybody, baseball fans? did you see what happened to Alex Bregman?

Dallas, do you see that? He's on deck, and the guy at the plate follows one off, gets him in the face. Breaks his fucking orbital bone. Eye closed. They put a picture of him, like, in the locker room after. He's got a thing up his nose to stop bleeding. His eyes completely closed.

There's like dry blood right here. And I don't. think it hit him on the fly. It actually took one, but it was like a fastball. And I don't know why. You know baseball. I guess the on deck circles were always in a dangerous place, but they're not there. The players don't even stay. Are they even there? I don't think they're drawn on the field anymore. They stand back, but they stand a little towards the catcher. Am I, am I right? He's sort of in the line of fire for something like that. But you realize folks, I mean, his fucking, and he goes, I'm playing this week. He's got

facial fractures. Boy, I played it all. Why wouldn't I fucking bring that in? I was too busy giving you the wrong clip of the wrong fuck. I would have put zero to three you would have just saw the foul ball. Fucking motherfucker.

Anyways, yeah, check that one out. It's online. You have to keep an eye on it because he's down on the left-hand corner room when you put it on the screen. It just fucking drops him like, Kennedy. Ouch. I saw something

even worse than that. I was watching a game in my hometown, like on a Wednesday night, a Babe Ruth League game, whatever you want to call it. And this kid, what's his first name?

His last name is Mark Powers, I think, Mark Powers. He's walking. There's a kid on Beck on his team, swinging a bat, and he happened to be walking to pick, like, something up, the donut ring that you put on that,

whatever, as he stands up, the back comes raw. Breaks his jaw. I was sat like a, I was like this, like a girl. I was like, oh my God. I just happened to be watching him. Hit in the, like, like fucking,

like a Gambino guy would do if you owe him money. I mean, crunch. Ah. But check out Bregman. That was beautiful. That's, I don't know, God's saying enough, man. Let's move on to Trump addresses the Unger. That's the UN General Assembly.

And he brought the heat. Again, this takes place in New York City. Everybody hates it when the UN comes to New York City because it fucks up traffic. I've been a victim of that many times. Why does the UN anymore? I don't understand. That's another thing I thought he thought he might get rid of. And you know who loves it, by the way?

The politicians at Com and the hookers. And that's no joke. Even when they're reporting seriously about the UN and the speakers, even like on Fox News, they'll mention prostitutes. Like, not even joking around. They fucking, because they can afford, you know, the best whores. Not the ones like me and Louie used to get. A couple of went through chemo.

One of them had like a fucking plastic hip at 18. I mean, just disgusting. You know what I mean? I forget what his name was. Billy Cren. Afternoon special. Yeah, yeah. Fuck.

He stepped on my gauge. joke. Afternoon special. That's true. It's like the strippers that are around there in the afternoon, right? They're going to a titty bar at one on a Tuesday. Fucking lady wheels herself out there.

She's got two tits, but they're on her back. Fucking all kinds of leprosy, diarrhea, and I'm throwing tens at her because I know I can get her. Anyways, here's Mr. Trump. I call him the Teflon Dawn speaking. It's one of the few times he gets to speak to

all the leaders that pretend that they are our competition. And this one here, the first clip, he's talking about AI, and he wants to rename. Why do you name it? I thought he was going to say Trump Intelligence, but he didn't. But go ahead. Whoever wins AI, you have to remember this. And now I say, whoever wins, SI. Whoever wins Super Intelligence wins.

That's the group that wins. And we're leading now over China by a lot and everyone else. Pause. I love how he says that. Like there's a scoreboard. We're up 48, nothing at halftime. They're leading by a lot. How the fuck do you know?

They don't exactly put their cards out to the world. I mean, I hope that's the case. But at least he admits it. Whoever wins that race wins. Because they, who was to, oh my God, this kid, Mickey McCarthy, a kid that I went to high school with who's like a, he was just a regular kid when I hung out with him, red hair, frickles.

and he could do great imitations, and he was funny and silly and kind of a drunk in high school. This motherfucker ended up being a computer whiz. And he put something on Facebook explaining the power of AI. Literally quadrillions. They could do quadrillion things. There won't be any codes that they can't break. In other words, nuclear codes. Do you see why it's important, folks?

Anyways, go ahead, Dawn. We're going to keep it that way. We're going to keep it very, very straight and very strong. I'm not going to stifle growth of something that will be bigger than the industrial revolution. Many say bigger than the industrial revolution or the Internet itself. And we will be very careful. This footage is from Japan, the Godzilla people. We've already used it having to do with this very subject and used it very powerfully.

Everything worked out very well and very quickly. And other law enforcement bodies that will rein things. in if we have to do that. But we will only encourage superintelligence. We're going to encourage it, not rein it in. We're going to watch it closely through the Department of Justice. The United States leads the world in superintelligence, and will continue to do so safely and responsibly. Americans have never been a nation that retreats from a frontier or shrinks from a challenge, no matter how great or how daunting that. challenge may be.

The Gulf of Intelligence. Well, we'll see. I mean, he is quite a salesman. Have you ever heard him say, and, you know, I'm a fan. I'm just saying, he is a true salesman. Have you ever, I'm talking his first term, this term, ever seen him in front of a camera go, well, they're giving us quite a run for their money, or it's never. We're crushing these people.

We're crushing this. We're crushing that. And it's kind of hurting him now. because the war's still going on that he said was going to be over in five minutes. But once again, like I said, if you're adults, you won't hold that against him because his long goal is to keep Iran

from getting a nuclear war. I believe that because he's got grandchildren and great group, whatever the fuck. I really believe that. And he's, like he said, I'm only, I'm going to be around for another two and a half years. So, you know. But you never, ever hear him saying,

well, we get a little catching up to do. It's always, it's 50, Eight to six in the first quarter. But AI is a, it is. It's a creepy thing. I get scared, right, when I hear shit like that. Then I'm trying to use it last night. This morning, I go, give me some footage of when Trump blew up that terrorist house.

You know, a couple years ago. And fucking AI, you know, in the thinking, don't think too hard, faggot. You know, a minute and a half later, sends me eight. You know what's creepy? It's probably listening to me now. I get home, there's going to be a picture of me, my dick cut off on the, and I pop up in chat. Sends me all this fucking footage from seven years ago.

And I'm like, no, no, no. I could have done that. And then it sent me a turd emoji. I sent it a fucking egg plan, got it all confused. And it said, you're black? I said, yes, I'm a mulean, a malleñez. Anyhow. And then I go, you're not.

that fucking smart. Not yet. But that's not if you prompt it, like there's some guy in China right now trying to prompt it to give them the codes to our fucking, and they can do it.

It's fucking creepy. Sorry for all the fucks. I've been like this since I was a kid. Let's go on to the second clip Trump talking about how America's always been the country that leads, which you wouldn't know, listening to the mainstream media for the last 60 years.

But go ahead, Chappie. The entire world is being lifted by the wealth, strength, spirit, and momentum of a newly energized and a very powerful United States of America. And just as we move with some energy problems we inherited at home, we have acted with decisiveness and speed to reshape the world stage and solve problems that have plagued us for far too long. Every leader in this room and your great leaders, many great leaders. leaders. I know. Uh-oh. There's something bad coming.

All of you very well. But they know that given only a short time to make this world better, safer and more prosperous for our children, for the people on earth, we have to take advantage of it. As president of the most extraordinary nation in history,

I have no interest in leaving dangers to grow for another day. I do not believe in letting problems fester. They only become harder to solve. So while others have... It's like a boil on my ass. I have acted. While others have spoken of peace, I have made peace. This is true. While others have ignored threats, I have confronted them. All that's true. Well, others have talked of

courage. America has shown it. While others have promised strength, I have used it to make America the most powerful country in the world. I know a thing or two about a thing or two. all that's true. He confronted all this shit. Obama, everybody glossed over it. Biden, Obama, George W. Everybody glassed over the big... Iran's been the thorn on our sides since 78.

Finally, after thousands of soldiers losing their lives and all other kinds of fucking 9-11, all the other whore shit. Somebody goes, hey, motherfucker. But you people are going, yeah, but you said bananas are going to be 50 cents a pound. and gas is up, shut up. Fucking bite your tongue for five minutes or a year.

He was handed a shit economy. And this, all the shit I'm saying can be verified. There's empirical evidence. Not making it up, not like the left does. Remember Biden? He brought the lowest inflation. And then when it was bad, he was, what did he call it, Putin inflation or Russian inflation, whatever, some name like that. You'd think I've remembered, but I don't care.

anyways it's always fun to watch Trump again because he was actually saying some shit I didn't see this clip because I'm not going to watch an hour and a half but I guess he was bragging about shit he did and they started laughing at him like like he was lying

that's how the person who wrote the article said keep laughing motherfuckers keep laughing and somebody who was defending Trump said you know he's got all of South America is all under us now. They're all allies producing their own oil and shit. You understand how important that is?

They're all sort of on our side now. Guys like Maduro are in jail. All this great shit he's done. And he didn't even mention those two yesterday. Not that it matters because people are just, you know, going to listen to CBS. Anyways, finally, he addresses the threat of Iran. But I have a big decision to make.

Will a deal be made with Iran that lets them rebuild and create a far greater country than it ever was before? It never was. Maybe one of the greatest in the Middle East or even the world. Or do I annihilate the Islamic Republic? Ding, ding, ding. And do it quickly, never giving them a chance to kill and destroy people and countries again. I'm for the second one. Do I drive them into hell with no chance of survival?

They already live in hell. The people of Iran do. They're the ones who have since the mullers took over for the last almost 50 years now. They've been clamoring for freedom and for, and you can't blame them. People go, why don't they go out and fight? Really? You go out and protest and they see on TV they're knocking your door the next day. Torchy your mother.

How do I do that over here? Oh, for the love of Christ. Go ahead. Pull in no hope. of future greatness or generations. But I believe we'll make a deal right after the election because it doesn't make sense for them not to.

You have an Indian nickel in your pocket? They're waiting to see how I do in the midterm election. What they don't realize is that I'm not running. I did that already and won in a landslide. We won in a giant landslide. He is where he's killing time. And I'll be here for two and a half years.

The Republican Party is running and I'll be helping them, but I am not running. I gave absolutely no credence and will not give credence to the election when it comes to Iran. What was that? It doesn't even enter my mind. The only thing that does

is that Iran will never have a nuclear weapon. The cowards and traitors... Thank you. Yeah, wow. A reluctant round of applause. You fucking people. Thank you. put the camera on the Iranian guys. Cowards and traders would love to say the United States is low on

munitions, but that's not true. I bet we're making more than ever. We have more munitions than we could ever possibly even think of using. He's counting rocks and marbles. Levels that we have never done before. We're adding to our stockpiles. He lays it on too sick. Then we have ever been able to do and I understand that folks, the people that hate them, but you have to be a little more mature than that. And I'll say this again. All the great leaders weren't the most likable people, whether it's football coaches, fucking MacArthur. You think

your fucking, his underlings loved him, or Vince Lombardi. I always go to sports, but it's true. You know, but you guys, you know, he's a fagger. Yeah, he's a bragger. But you know why? He does that. Part of the reason he does that, other than it's part of him. Nobody gives him credit. 93% negative coverage in the last year by the media.

Who's going to blow his horn if he doesn't? Go ahead. For top of the line. Top of mind. In addition, in the very near future, massive munition plants will be opening. There are 18 of them being built by the greatest defense companies in the world right now. 18 under construction, some of them very quickly will be completed. They're almost there.

And that rapid construction will be leading to very rapid deployment of missiles of every type and ammunition of every type, and will be able to supply our allies at a much faster rate that we're doing right now. I call on all nations to join us in enforcing the complete economic isolation of Iran until they stop their attacks on commercial shipping, relinquish their nuclear ambitions, and cease their support of Iran. Tara. I'm watching the five yesterday and Jessica Tarloffty, um, token liberal at the table,

saying that, um, that we don't control the straight, poor moves. She's like arguing all these things that you can verify, like how much oil's going through a day and shit. And she looks right in the camera and goes, she was arguing,

I think with Jesse Waters. Nobody believes that, Jesse. That's how they think. Nobody in your little world believes it. You know? Anyways, is he almost done? I'm almost getting sick of him. Go ahead, Don.

The terrorist regime is behaving badly. Not because they are strong and confident, but because they are weak and desperate. If we stand united, we will soon see a world free of the last 51-year menace of Iranian terror and oil prices will come plummeting down even lower than... You know, I fucking hate the way you make me fuck. I can ride you. Get the fuck out of here.

That's what he should have said to the Iranian delegates. That's all he had to say. Anyways, that guy doesn't stop. Today he's entertaining Xi Peng. Could you guys ever do that job? I get the best job in the world here. And I can't fucking stand it. No, I'm just saying,

can imagine they don't get on a plane and go to the middle? How do you do it? Hey, folks, October 8th, I'll be at hyaine. is in Dallas. I'm not bragging. November 5th, the punchline Atlanta, November 6th. Rivers Casino, Philly. November 7th, Seoul Joel's Pottstown, PA. January 22nd, I'm at Wonders Theater. I heard it's a beautiful little theater. Mertle Beach, South Carolina. Tommy, don't book anymore after that because I'm judging. I'm serious. These five gigs, I want to see how I feel after. I'm like Barbara Streising announcing her.

fucking final tour for the third time. Go to Nick Dip.com to get your tickets now before they sell out. While you're there, go to the merchandise page and buy little things of fentanyl and we get fun-sized snickers and fucking rubber nipples. You want to send a personalized video? So I can say what, you know, so you won't have to say, whatever you want to say. You booked that at shoutout.us.

Shoutout.us. Hey, they made an interesting discovery in Budapest, right? I think it's had Budapest. Is that what the Danube River is? I should know that. I miss it every time on Jeopardy. They only bring these questions. I almost fainted because I watched the whole week of Jeopardy.

I didn't see any trannies. I swear to God, I want to do the investigation. I want to be like Chris Hanson, only sneaking around the Jeopardy auditions or wherever they have the I sit down motorcycle mystery a relic of World War II has emerged from the Danube River more than 80 years after the war ended along

with the remains of two German soldiers whose identities still remain a mystery they think one of them is Sergeant Schultz and the other is Colonel Klingk the Wachmach motorcycle I get two of these at home they're about in the same shape which officials

identify as DKWNZ 315 50-1 was found in the Danube River in central Budapest this summer. The discovery was announced, if it was found this summer, why are you just letting us know about it now? Can I ask you that much? You had dinks. The discovery was announced by the German War Graves Commission. Ooh, that sounds like a fun place to work. An organization that works to locate, recover, and identify German war dead.

You might want to get another guy to trace dead Jews, and you'll probably find the because the harbor mud is mixed with gas oil, you know you folks, you know your gasoline's made of oil, the motorcycle and identification tags are well preserved. Not sure what that has to do. The ID tags, oh, because of the water itself in the river. The German Wargraves Commission said in the statement, adding that the motorcycle model, in quotes, was considered particularly robust and reliable at the time. much better than the Kawasaki 150. Remember those? Rice eaters?

Burners. Officials also found the remains of two German soldiers doing a 69 while recovering a third guy watching on his motorcycle. Recovering the motorcycle along with two well-preserved tits. They had artificial tits back then that nobody knew about. Fucking Germans were ahead of the T, no, identification tags. Both tags were still intact. Typically one half of a fallen soldier's tag

was left with the body while the other was sent to the Wehrmark information office so that the soldiers family could be notified, according to the commission. The fact that the tags were still intact could indicate the soldiers were never recovered or officially accounted for after their deaths. Who said that? Some guy at Temple Boronet. I worked for them when I get out of calling. Temple Bournett.

Poor soldiers. I'm doing all that shit and you're missing and tried I did the best I could what about me what am I supposed to do did I already hit that hmm let's move on to libs oops in our libs eating libs segment this is my favorite story of this week of this month maybe of this year I can't even believe it's true I've been saying what psychos, people are still wearing masks when you see them at the airport and shit. And I never knew that these people existed. A Massachusetts lesbian bar, first of all, that sounds very discriminatory. Straight women or guys can't come in?

Look, we have a lot in common. You like the taste of snatch, don't you? Descended into a catty culture war and faces a potentially business-ending boycott from sudden enemies who flipped out when the owners lifted a long-standing, listen to this mask mandate for just one night a week. Let me explain. Greenfield's, the name of the bar's last ditch bar, which is perfect for a dyke bar. Last ditch bar scrapped Saturday mask requirements on August 31st. In other words, you had to wear masks when you went, even now. They were all right with that.

Think about that. You want to be part of that fucking little group? Explain that to me. The more I live, the lot... Let me tell you something about whether it's trans or just plain homosexuals, gay, lesbian, it's mental. There's a lot of mental involved there.

I really believe that. Doesn't mean you have to hate them or whatever. Yes, make fun of them. Look how they dress and keep fucking their lawns nice. Fuck them. a bid to boost business. But the move completely backfired, sparking uproar from members of the small city's queer community.

You get what I just said? The people in the community are upset that they said, you don't have to wear a mask on Saturday night, one night out of the week. You would have thought they were upset. It should be the other way around that they said, you know what? We're making you wear a mask one night a week.

That we would understand. I don't even understand here we are six years out from the fucking so-called COVID crisis. We've proven 40 times the mask didn't work. These people are mentally fucking ill. Some critics dramatically liken the decision. Listen to this. To a mass disabling event, which I don't even know what that means. A eugenesis attack and a host of other hot button terms that escalated to threats of violence.

Proving once again, people didn't pick on you all you. your life because you are gay. You're a fucking asshole. You all think the same. You're all fucking victims, permanent victims. That's how you see your life. Most of you're as ugly as a stump fence. Therein lies your hate for everybody and everything. I fucking, you can't hate me as much as I hate you, except for the pretty lesbians. Like I said, hope your venue gets, this is what somebody, this is somebody who, this is probably a lesbian. These are people writing in the local paper. I hope your venue gets firebomb for robbing my fellow, listen to this. immunocompromised people

of their Saturday plans let me tell you, if their Saturday plans include just going to the fucking last ditch, whatever the fuck it's called, you don't have a life. Put a fucking gun in your mouth tonight and say goodbye to the Asian boy you adopted, you and Peggy.

Just to scrape extra venue from Abelis. I don't even know what that means. One commenter wrote on the West of Massachusetts bars post announcing the change. Oh my God. Let's take a look at some video. Angry Dikes and action, let it go. Oh! Now, if that was from the bar, see, those are good lesbians.

Don't be pixelating the crotch. That's why people are watching. What a country. Oy, they. People like you, this is another post in the local people. People like you kill disabled people in the name of your own leisure and convenient.

This is free dykes or a tranny, whatever, we're going to show you the picture at the end. Me and Dallas have studied it like the Supruder film can't figure out what they are. Can you imagine? This is their thanks for creating a little tree hut for you psychos. Wrote another, while the third said,

just say you're being complicit in a mass disabling event and get it over with making up their own terms if you haven't heard it on cnn it doesn't exist and that was all because masks were made optional just once a week last ditch which opened in 2025 it's only been open a fucking what not even a year still requires mass all other days even as greenfield hasn't reported a COVID case in months Fuck, that's the, even the person don't get it that's right in it. That's the least of it. Nobody's died of a fake COVID. What the, the business soon found its, a divy barroom, bear, meaning empty, on what used to be the busiest night as irate customers banded together to boycott.

You don't understand. They're not boycotting, like I said, because you have to wear a man. Talk about virtue signaling. It's, sales had already been slumping due to the, you. I'll tell you why, due to the fucking angry, unattractive fucking clientele, I'm guessing. Place smelled like a fish factory. Floundering, oops, no pun intended.

Slumping due to the bar's floundering business model that includes rules like, nobody will be barred. Listen to this. This is one of the rules. They make up rules that they can't even enforce. Nobody will be barred from entry, meaning the bar, due to lack of funds. And poor and unhoused people

are welcome in the space. Boy, that sounds like a great Saturday night, doesn't it? Come on, Diane. Let's go throw darts over a guy laying in his old shit. The mask mandate was another rule as last ditch vowed ableism. Infringments on disabled patrons enjoying the venue was strictly barred. That meant the face coverings were required to protect anyone who was immune compromised. It remains unclear how anyone was expected to drink while,

masked. That's a good point. Remember on the planes? They said we couldn't. Yet they handed out food. The bar's three owners. Here we go. Look at this.

I first looked and I went, oh, it's two guys and a woman on the left. Look at, can you make the shit up, folks? That's the three owners. One of them, drag performer, who uses its pronouns.

Another another one who, who's now in clown school, this is like an S&L sketch, began to slip behind on their bills and couldn't pay themselves or even the staff. Look at the one on the far right. That's a woman on the far right. It's not Cash Patel's cousin. Look at the one in the middle.

Mark McGuire in high school when he grew a mustache. Oh, my God. You're a biological aberration. So the trio decided to lift the mask mandate on Saturday to try to try to to boost revenue and keep the lights on. Of course, the Boston Globe brought us that story. And now on the verge of bankruptcy because their clientele, I'm guessing, is most likely mentally ill-twats.

That's it. Finally, tonight, let's end on, I wanted to show this last week, elbow macaroni, I call it. I don't know if you guys were watching the NFL last weekend, as you know, Tom Brady works for Fox as a color. commentary guy. Remember what his contract was, get this, I think, what, $350 million for five years or something like that?

That's $70 million a year. On top of the billions, he's already fucking probably getting money from the Patriots that he deferred and his wife has made a trillion dollars, his ex-wife, I should say. Can you imagine, what's that like? Wouldn't you like to walk

into Ogichi market with that money? I want the store, and they're like, what do you mean? I want the store, get out. Here's the offer, like see ya Nick that's what you do if you'd have the money in the world yes since I ate that goddamn New York strip that two inch thick I can't get my mind off it real fun to chew and I take my teeth out too Tom Brady is doing the color commentary and the quarterback for the Washington I'll call him Redskins Jaden Daniels he's a hell of a player he's gonna dislocate his elbow and Tom

is going to provide the commentary. Let's take a look, shall we? Watch his elbow. Up, Gilligan. Oh, shit. Oh, no. Dallas, turn that up. Turn it up on this one.

Let's watch that again. Alecretti. Oh, shit. Oh, no. Excuse me. It's not a... Allergetty. Oh, shit.

Oh, no. Excuse me. I can't. Alligretty. Oh, shit. Oh, no. Excuse me. I don't know how to stop it.

Shut up. Come on, it was just a knife. How fucking funny. And he catches himself. There's the difference. You know? When comics, I know every, we've all done shows where we weren't supposed to swear. Maybe a panel show, whatever.

And when you do, even if it's on, like, you forget. Like, you don't even catch yourself because you're a potty mouth. But Tom knows where it's bread is butter. I thought would end on that. That's it. Dallas is a little low energy today, and I know I sucked. They go hand in hand. That's it.

You got anything? Don't forget cameo.com, because apparently a lot of you have. If you want me to, you know, roast a friend or a relative, go to camio.com. I could use the money, the wife, with their blow problem. The dog needs new nails. I pulled them out last night. I was bored. That's it.

You guys think it, I'll say, you're very welcome. I will see you back here again on the final day of the week, at least for us, tomorrow. Have a good rest of the day, everybody. Hi. Good night, everybody.